#SORRY I RECOGNIZE KIND OF FUCKED UP THING TO POST LOL

[elytrafemme]

actually honestly to be quite honest it is a little funny talking about my systemmates like ... true crime coded And then they disappeared and were never seen again... and nobody quite knew what happened... til this day... Like to be clear i hate true crime. So so bad. so fucked. but like it's a little funny that i have that mystery. Brain fucked up so bad because of trauma that it got failsafes in the form of six different people but then all six of them mutated in front of my eyes because of the trauma until i couldn't recognize them and couldn't touch them and then they never came back ever. And it took like six months. Is that not objectively metal as fuck, like it's liferuiningly devastating and ill never recover or be able to actually talk about it But like it's kind of sick.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[simpjaes]

NIGHT-SHIFT (p.sh)

Sunghoon, a keen and professional man between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. ServiceKing, a faceless and proud man between the hours of 9 PM to 12 AM. Sunghoon’s secret night-life has nothing to do with the faces he sees day after day...until it does. or the one where you pay for a one on one call with a faceless cam guy you’ve been watching for a little while, and the next day your boss is avoiding you like the plague. 

minors dni 

PAIRING ― boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader  

WORDCOUNT― 4.5k

WARNINGS―  dub-con since reader doesn’t know it’s him. 

CONTENT― office setting, sunghoon is a service top/soft-dom/whatever his clients need lol

 NOTE ― this was supposed to be a drabble, but i just....it needed a little more plot sorry. it's not very good, like fr this is not up to par with what I wanted... but i wrote it so im gonna post it.

nsfw tags under cut

nsfw tags― dubious consent, cam sex/virtual sex, dirty talk, masturbation instructions, umm…finger fucking, jerking off, fantasies, role-play type stuff

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

What are the chances? Honestly, what are the fucking chances?

Sunghoon sits up quickly from his relaxed position upon hearing a voice far too familiar on the other end of this call. He’s lucky he doesn’t have his camera on just yet, you’d have seen the embarrassing reaction to…well…hearing you of all people.

He knows the world can be small sometimes, but this is too small for comfort as he hears your muttered voice through the microphone again.

“So, what am I supposed to do?” You say. 

“Ah, uh–” Sunghoon pauses. There’s no way it’s actually you. Can you not recognize his voice too? “What type of call did you request again?” 

“Full service.” You remind him. 

Oh. You’re into this kind of thing? That pretty, well-mannered employee of his? The one who sips coffee quietly at her desk while actually responding to her emails? The one who never shows up to co-ed parties? The one who always dresses appropriately and addresses him in a timid way?

You…just paid a cam-boy to get you off in full? Not just any cam-boy either, you paid him?

God, his cheeks are so heated at the arousing thought. Never once has he ever imagined you in any scenario that doesn’t involve excel spreadsheets and finances. Arguably, you’ve probably never thought of him all spread out fucking his fist either but…you’ve blatantly seen him do it already.

He wonders how long you’ve been seeing this part of him, how long you’ve been getting yourself off all alone while he puts on a show for hundreds, and sometimes, thousands of people. 

As detrimental as this is, it’s his job to do this. You paid him to do it, just like how he pays you to do your job. He can’t be letting this hold him back. No, in fact, he needs to get this hour long session over with as quickly as fucking possible. 

“Right,” Sunghoon lends a chuckle, nervous sounding on his end but to you it just sounds cheeky. “Can I get your name, babe?” 

You’re quiet at first, never having done this before and absolutely not wanting this random horny guy to know who you are. Honestly, you already requested that only he turns his camera on during this call as well. As if you’d give out your real name. You give him a name that rhymes with your own instead, and there’s another chuckle after. 

He knows you’re lying. Out of all the employees that are under him, you’re the one he has to correspond with the most. After all, you’ve been up for the promotion to being his assistant for the past three months. He knows that isn’t your name. 

 Smart girl, just like he knew you were. 

“Is that so?” He tilts his head at his blank screen in amusement, watching the microphones light up with each breath. “Alright, and you’ll do everything I say, yes?” 

You nod to no one, realizing he can’t see you and instead giving him a hum and gentle words of “of course.”

His image flashes across your screen just moments later. The same as his usual streams. Face out of frame, hand strong and willing, his cock out and on display– only half hard. 

“Listen to me very carefully,” Sunghoon calls out now, as if to show you that it’s time to begin, your almost-name falling from his lips shortly after. “Don’t hold your breath, you paid good money for this, and I want to hear you.”

Oh man, this is embarrassing for you to be doing this. But truly, anything at this point is better than another night all alone. 

And he does hear you. Relishing in that voice he hears day to day reciting memos and budgets, only this time, you’re calling out pleasurable reactions to how he tells you to fuck yourself. 

He’s good at it too. You can’t help but listen to every word, touching and massaging when he instructs you to, stopping just short of orgasm for him to ask, “That feels good, doesn’t it? Wish you had me doing it for you, isn’t that right?” 

Always using the fake name. Giving you full-service by the end of the call. 

Safe to say, you’re feeling refreshed by the next morning as you ready yourself for work, wanting very much to book the infamous ServiceKing again. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Fuck, he can’t even look at you. Not after the way he got off last night. 

Not after hearing you moan out the way you did while he simultaneously imagined you all spread out on his desk for him. Not after hearing the fucking wet between your legs as you frantically tried to cum when he told you to. 

Not after you did cum for him. 

“Mr. Park–” You chime through his door, not quite noticing the way he stiffens in his seat. 

God, if you had called him that last night…

“Hm?” He composes himself by acting bored and uninterested in whatever papers you have held tightly against your chest. “What is it?”

“I got the statements back from our parent company, I think–”

“Great. Just set them down on my desk.” He cuts you off, patting his desk before hoping you get the fuck out of his office before he ends up breaking office rule number one.

What is office rule number one, you might ask? Never fuck a co-worker. What’s worse is that you’re not his fucking co worker. You’re his employee.

You raise a brow at his demeanor this morning. The usual not-so-up-tight Sunghoon appearing far too distracted today compared to usual. Most mornings, he’ll at least give you a smile and a “thank you.” 

“Mr. Park, is there anything I can get for you?” You ask with concern in your voice.

Sunghoon pauses every thought in his head as he looks at you. Narrowing his eyes and wondering if maybe he’s just overreacting. Maybe he's mistaken and that girl from last night isn’t you at all. After all, there’s plenty of people with the same pitch in their voice. She didn’t even turn on her camera, and she gave him a different name anyway. 

Maybe he just wishes it was you. 

“No, I’m fine–” He says, mistakenly calling out the fake name rather than your actual name. 

You miss the way his eyes widen for a split second before correcting himself to your real name. 

“Ah, my apologies. Got a little tongue tied.” 

You stand there in shock. No way in hell he just called you by the name you spoofed to a cam-boy last night. Coincidences can be so weird, and being called that hits you a little too close to home. 

It feels awkward in the room now and both of you play it off as a genuine mistake. Though, to you, it has to be a genuine tongue-tied version of your name. Sunghoon couldn’t possibly know about that. Besides, he appears to be more tired than usual anyway, so…you choose to believe it’s a crazy coincidence. 

You give him a nervous chuckle as you wave yourself off and out of the room with a small “It’s okay, you know where I am if you need anything.”

What he needs is to watch his fucking mouth. What he needs is to stop thinking about how you just reacted to being called that. What he needs is to pretend that none of this is happening and do his goddamn work. 

And he tries. He really does. Unfortunately, his eyes go from blurs of numbers and words on spreadsheets to the window of his office. Just outside of it. You.

How is he supposed to focus after kind of, accidentally, practically fucking you? Sure, he never touched you but…it really was you. The way you reacted to that name was so telling, and he can’t help but actually check you out now. 

You, with that body. You got off to him, with those legs of your spread out while staring into a screen. All alone, listening to his voice, moaning for him…and now you’re just sitting there in your business casual outfit like he’s not unintentionally getting hard. 

So, he avoids you. At all fucking costs, he avoids you. 

You get up from your desk? So does he, making sure that if you start coming his way, he’s walking out and in the opposite direction. You send him an email? Out of office, despite clearly sitting at his desk. You call his phone to ask a question? He forwards you to his current assistant. 

And this happens for days. To the point you know that promotion is slipping from your fingers. 

Naturally, you’re frustrated with the office-dynamic. After all, you’ve heard rumors of picking favorites. You thought you were one of them, but it appears that Sunghoon may just decide to try and beg his current assistant to stay with bribes of double pay. 

You’re more frustrated as the days go by. Leaving work yet again with no good-byes from the boss who used to show appreciation for how hard you worked. He’s colder than usual, he’s stiffer than usual, he’s– a fucking asshole these days.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Ping! 

Sunghoon stares at his secret email in disbelief. 

NEW REQUEST FROM: [your email/username]

$500 PENDING. 

FULL SERVICE.

Requester note: work has been hard lately, will you help me de-stress for a little while? 

[ACCEPT REQUEST]   [DECLINE REQUEST]

Sunghoon hovers over the decline button for a solid thirty seconds as he burns a hole through his screen. Work has been hard for you lately, huh? Has it now? Try being him. 

He shifts his mouse to the accept button, wondering if he even needs that extra five hundred dollars. Those funds just to suffer more at work? Just to suddenly have the need randomly throughout his day to make you moan for him? Just to have the sounds of your pretty voice echoing in his head more and more the longer he ignores you? 

His finger clicks, hitting the accept button as he lets out an exasperated sigh. 

Why did he just do that?

Wait. 

Maybe this will help him get through the work weeks. Fucking you through words alone in secret, never telling you who he is, always letting you use him even if it’s just through audio and visual stimulation. 

After all, if you found out who ServiceKing is, you very well may quit. Hell, you might get him fired. Fuck.

This is dangerous. 

Yet, he feels the excitement in his gut before it even hits his cock as the clock ticks. He gets to hear you again soon, you get to watch him cum again soon, he–oh, he’s so turned on right now just thinking about it.

And the time comes too slowly for his liking. He feels as if he’s been edged by the time the two of you enter the call and he’s immediately turning his camera on. 

“Ah, look who it is,” Sunghoon starts, already positioning himself with a raging hard cock on the screen. “Had me wondering if you’d come back to me.”

You don’t know why your cheeks heat up, but the feeling in your gut is miles better than the frustration and anxiety that you felt throughout the day. 

“I was wondering the same thing,” You speak into the mic meekly, hiding your face despite knowing he can’t see it. “I just need to get my mind off of stuff for a little while.” 

“Oh yeah?” Sunghoon chuckles into the mic, his face perfectly hidden. “Wanna give me some context? Maybe I can use some of the information for–”

“God.” You immediately start, shutting the man up on the other side of the screen in an accidental frustration-dump. This is not what you paid him for, but you still appreciate the space to release your brain before, well, your cum. “My fucking boss.”

Sunghoon’s ears perk up, lazily stroking himself as you continue with a frantic voice. 

“I swear he just flipped on me. I thought I was doing so good, I thought I was gonna get that new position, but now he’s just ignoring me and treating me like some temp or something.” 

Sunghoon hums lowly, listening intently to the way you bring him into conversation to a man that…unfortunately, is that very same boss.

“Hmm, that’s interesting.” Sunghoon continues palming himself as he soothes you through your frustrations. “Your boss isn’t praising you.” 

You pause, feeling a ping in your gut. 

“If I were him, I’d praise you every day–” Sunghoon softens his voice. “Every night.”

“Oh…” You listen to his words, feeling your frustration melt out of you in an instant as you now focus on the way his cock twitches through the screen. 

“Wouldn’t let you go a second without thinking of how good I am to you.” He continues, both hyping himself and degrading his day-time self. “If I were your boss–”

You interrupt his words with a very quiet groan, he fucking heard it.

“Mm, you like that?” He smiles to himself, gripping the base of his cock and thrusting up to show the full size to you. “The thought of your boss liking you a little too much?”

You hum. Not that you’ve ever thought about it too deeply, but now that he’s said it, praising you, putting down your actual boss, telling you what he’d do if he were him? 

You guess, for tonight anyway, you’re into it. 

“What’s his name, babe?” Sunghoon asks, wondering if you’ll actually out his name to a stranger. 

“Park Sunghoon.” You expose him instantly, full name and all, even with a bit of bite in your voice. 

Damn.

“Oh, yeah?” Sunghoon draws back, jerking his hand up once. “I’d fuck you better than Park Sunghoon.” 

You smile at the thought, imagining yourself with more power than Sunghoon has. Like you’re his boss, you’re the one dangling a promotion just out of reach before giving it to someone else. 

“See this?” The man on the screen grunts out to you, fucking tight thrusts into his fist. “Watch me, baby, get a good look.”

And you do watch. Intensely, you stare at his big cock, the head of it darkened and leaking with each pass of his hand. You’re not even touching yourself at this point, but it’s like you can feel the force of it.

“Now, I need you to open those legs for me.” He instructs you. 

You do as he says much like before, letting your legs fall open but not yet letting yourself touch. You still sigh at the movement, your panties alone shifting were enough to make you want to hump your hips up. 

“Now, turn on your camera.”

Silence. Your ears ring momentarily at the words as you immediately close your legs.

“What?” You ask in a higher-pitched tone than usual. “I requested for no c-”

“No.” Sunghoon mutters, shifting his position to lean towards the microphone and whispering now. “You do as I say.” 

He hears you huff at his words, but he hears the shifting around on your end. 

“I want to see that pussy open for me.” He continues in that same low-rumbled voice. “I want to see what Park Sunghoon is missing out on.”

You don’t know what it is about this situation that turns your discomfort into pure, rushing arousal. Never in your life have you ever considered fucking yourself on camera, especially after paying someone else to do it for you, yet– 

“Do I have to show you my face?” You ask quietly, already trying to find a lower-face-mask just to be safe in case you lose your composure and accidentally reveal yourself. 

“No,” Sunghoon assures you through a deep breath. “I already told you what I want to see.”

More silence save for the shuffling he still hears on your end. 

“Open your legs and turn it on.” He encourages you now, keeping his hand still on himself as he waits to see if you’ll actually do it.

And…

Oh fuck.

“There she is.” Sunghoon hums, trying to keep his composure at the way you give him access. Honestly, he didn’t think you would, but you do, and all he can do is lay himself back again, staring straight at the image of you. 

Your face is out of frame much like he is but this is the first time he’s ever seen you with so little clothing on. No bra, thin tank top, no shorts or pants, just panties. It takes everything in him not to moan out at the image. 

After all, it’s confirmed to be you. 

Fuck, that’s you right there. 

“Already so wet too?” Sunghoon groans now, focusing on that spot between your legs, probably so slippery and warm. 

You’re very shy though, not moving much better yet speaking as this faceless man takes in your image. You feel awkward, but still turned on despite squeezing your legs together and hiding that spot from him. 

“Oh, baby–” Sunghoon coos out in a way that makes it seem as though he was endeared by that. “That’s not going to work.”

You’re more focused on your embarrassment than you are on the way his cock leaks and pours pre-cum at the image he’s witnessing. 

“How am I supposed to show you how much better I’d take care of you?” He continues, reverting back to the same role play from before. “I bet that boss of yours wouldn’t want to bury his tongue in you like I would.”

Your legs fall open at the words, and he can see the way you thrust up just slightly. 

“That’s it, you need someone to touch you, don’t you?” He continues, watching you intensely. “Need someone to lick that pretty pussy?”

You nod, once again forgetting that he can’t see you do it before you finally speak.

“Please.”

His moan after hearing you seems far more intense than the first time you did this with him. In fact, he appears entirely focused on you. Role playing in some way but somehow acting more real than last time too. 

“You deserve some love for all that hard work.” He says to you, encouraging you to keep talking for him. “Play with yourself, go on. You need it.”

You follow his instructions on instinct, as if your body truly does need the release. 

“Feel it– not too hard, just graze over your panties.”

Ah, still you listen, holding your breath at each feather-light touch you give to yourself per his request. 

And he watches. Hyper-focused on the way that darkened spot on your panties grows bigger and bigger. So wet for him doing exactly what he wishes he could do for you come tomorrow morning. 

“Your other hand babe, slowly, lift your shirt and–”

He doesn’t even have to keep instructing you. You do exactly as he wanted, lifting your shirt gently before playing with your own nipples, still lightly grazing your fingers over your swollen clit that’s restricted by your panties. 

You moan quietly at the feeling, wishing so much that it doesn’t have to be your hands doing this. 

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” Sunghoon hums, now working his palm against his own length, gentle, barely grazing it. “Now, look at me.”

You draw your eyes forward, the image of him already arousing from before, but now? Why is he so much hotter now? As if the screen is nothing but a window into his bedroom. 

“You see how hard I am right now?” You can hear the smile in his voice as you continue to work yourself up to near-sensitivity. “Never been this hard for anyone else.”

Oh, that’s bullshit. He does this as a job. He’s just sweet talking to you for sure. 

“Been thinking about you since the first time you booked me.” He continues, keeping the touches light and making sure you don’t press on yourself too hard either. “Was hard all week for you.”

Okay, yeah, maybe you are a little too into praise. Lie or not, it’s exactly what you need to hear right now. 

“You're gonna be just as good for me tonight too?” Sunghoon hums, tightening his grip. “You’re going to push your panties to the side and show me that you missed me too, right?” 

Yes. The light touching has been nothing but torture at this point, wanting so badly to be told to do more. For yourself, for him. 

You barely recognize how your embarrassment leaves your body when you stretch your panties to the side, letting him see how they stuck to you only to unfold in a glistening mess for him. 

“Messy, messy, messy.” Sunghoon moans, struggling so hard by now not to fuck his fist straight to orgasm. But no, he can’t ruin this moment. 

That’s your pussy, looking so wet and tight, so needy. 

“Gently still, open up for me.” Sunghoon groans lowly, watching so closely the way you spread open your lips for him, the hole pulsing and dribbling so much slick. 

Never in his life has he ever wanted to bury his tongue into someone this badly. Goddamn, he’s nearly obsessed with you at this moment. He loses composure.

“Fuck–” He seethes, feeling his cock twitch wildly against his hand. “I want you so bad.”

Those words feel more real to you than anything else. Virtual sex is one thing but to have a man blatantly moan those words to you as if he means them? As if he has never let it slip for any of his other scheduled calls?

“What’s the name of your boss again?” Sunghoon asks, pretending as if he forgot, just to hear you say it. 

He notes the way your pussy clenches through his words too, as if he can see the confusion not through your expression, but through your arousal alone. Asking you that turned you off.

“What’s his name, baby?” Sunghoon presses, offering an excuse. “I wanna know who it is that gave me this tonight.”

Alluding to the fact that the only reason you’re paying him is because your boss made you feel like you need release in some way. 

“Park-” You start, not wanting to deny his demands. “Sunghoon.”

“Ah, yeah.” Sunghoon holds his breath, closing his eyes briefly just to let that breathy voice sit in his mind before focusing back on you. “Two fingers babe, slide them in.”

God, you listen just as well as you do at work. He should have given you that promotion the day he saw your application. Even without seeing you do as you're told in this situation, he already knew you were going to be getting that interview next week.

He listens to the way your cunt swallows up your fingers, so wet and needy. Swollen around the two digits as you slide them in with a breathy sigh. 

“Spread your fingers, open up.” 

You do, presenting your opened core to him without any shame at this point. Allowing him to look, wanting him to look.

“Now, say–” Sunghoon swallows around a lump in his throat. “Thank you Sunghoon.”

Your pussy pulses around your fingers, recoiling again at the name. 

“Say, Thank you Sunghoon, for all of this stress.” 

He continues, trying to encourage, adding another lie of an excuse just to get you to break. 

“Because, if it weren't for him, I wouldn’t be needing to take care of you like this, now would I?”

In your horny brain, it makes sense.

“Thank you, Sunghoon.” You moan, plunging your fingers into yourself without being told to do so, moaning out for the faceless man on the screen at your break in composure. 

And, well, Sunghoon himself is on fire. After all, you’ve only ever referred to him as Mr.Park, and hearing you practically moan his name in such an intimate way? It does nothing to keep him from spiraling into an even more selfish mindset. 

“Again.” He instructs you, watching the way your legs shake through saying his name. 

“Thank you Sunghoon.” You continue, as if the words are natural despite feeling intense irritation for the man. “Thank you.”

And, well, that very name you’re moaning is now also moaning. That little fake name you gave to him falls from his lips after you say it each time, fucking into his fist and hoping you’re watching, nearly unable to ask you to stick another finger into yourself.

Not needing to ask at all, apparently, because you do it yourself. You even bump your clit up against your wrist too. 

Shit. 

He needs you.

“Thank him for what?” Sunghoon starts to ask, feeling an orgasm approach far too quickly. 

“For making me come to you!” You answer him as if you’re frustrated, hips bouncing up against your hand just to dig your fingers in deeper. 

“What else?” He asks now, forgetting what it is he should not be doing. 

“Hmm?” You answer in a drawn-out moan.

“Thank him for what else?” He repeats first, only to follow up with his own answer. “For giving you a reason to cum.”

“Yes!” You groan, now grinding your hips up and against your palm without relaxing back against the bed. Intentionally chasing as your eyes remain on him, watching him pull and tug so roughly. 

“So fucking pretty” Sunghoon praises as he snaps his hips in time with his moving palm, eyes so tuned into you that– “Fuck–” He moans your name. “So pretty.”

And he didn’t realize it. Half expecting you to moan back for him, he’s still moaning as he watches you halt what you’re doing and cover yourself entirely.

“What did you just call me?” You ask in an out of breath voice. 

Sunghoon repeats your fake name to you, feeling the energy shift in an instant.

“No. You just called me–” You repeat your real name to him. 

“Ah, sorry babe, must’ve gotten tongue tied.”

There’s a rush of anxiety within you as you stare at the screen. There’s….no fucking way. 

Given, you’ve never seen him outside of a suit. The voice you hear doesn’t click in your head as Sunghoon’s either, considering he’s never a man of very many words. 

Instantly, you’re covering your camera with your hand, watching how the man on the screen spreads his legs out and drops his cock. Like he’s waiting, like he’s listening, wondering. Are you making a fool of yourself right now?

Are you misreading? 

He seems calm, and if it really is Sunghoon…surely he’d be disconnecting right now, right?

Why would he even be fucking himself on camera anyway? The guy makes bank! You’re the one who sees his paychecks, after all. Still, there’s a twisting in your gut as you ignore the way you still drip against your sheets. 

Very quietly, just to see, you work up the courage.

“Mr.Park?”

It’s silent for a few seconds as the man on the screen shifts, a blur of movement forcing you into a state of motion-sickness. 

You almost thought he was going to chuckle at you and ask if you were thinking about your boss rather than him. You almost thought he would use that to his advantage. 

You almost thought you were wrong, but– he disconnects. 

A few moments later, you receive an email with a refund of your five hundred dollars. 

And two hours later? Lying in your bed with anxiety in your gut, you get a text from none other than Park Sunghoon.

Mr.Park: Can we talk?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

― part two here!

[legy]

hi! i'm caelum. you might know me from @goldentruths-pod or from posting online. im in a financial quicksand pit and i really, really, really need help.

i'm disabled and receive approx ~$950 a month from social security. this has gone from "rough but survivable" when i first started receiving SSI to "i am literally not making ends meet" in 2024. right now my current status is that i am covering my basic needs but any kind of extra purchases are impossible. and the extra purchases i need to make keep piling up because i just can't afford them. some things i need include, in vague level of priority:

dolphin, my cat, is years overdue for a vet visit. this is going to be $300 minimum, possibly more because she has an adversarial relationship with the vet. she needs dental work done which they had quoted me as being $1500 but ive been putting it off for so long that i would not be surprised if that's more expensive too

i have learned today that my gold crown needs to be replaced. really unhappy about this one. it was a miserable experience the first time (everything that went wrong did go wrong, i'll spare you the details) but what is relevant here is that my insurance does not cover this and it was $900 last time. insurance also does not cover extracting the tooth either so that's cool. i have some time before this one is due (my next consult is in july)

my phone is approaching "unusably broken". i've had it for close to 4 years now. the call speaker no longer works (i can only use the phone on speaker mode) and it struggles to run apps or a web browser which makes things like GPS pretty dire. this would be like ~$100-$150 probably, i havent done serious phone shopping yet

my driver's license is expired and i need to get a new one. this was $110 last time. note i havent driven a car in years due to the disability but it's really valuable to have a universally recognized form of photo ID and ive already been hassled over it being expired

god this one is so embarrassing to get into but i had to flee my previous apartment last year due to it escalating into a DV situation. the other tenants did not pay the heating bill, which was in my name (and my dumb ass didnt close the account because it was the middle of february and i didnt want to freeze them to death) so i have a $250 utility bill in collections. i might be able to dispute or debt forgiveness this one but tbh ive been so fucking drained given everything else going on and also my phone barely works so i havent pursued it. especially since i can't afford to pay it if i cant challenge it

i would really like to have a passport again. my previous one was destroyed by my landlord in 2018 but even if it wasnt it'd also be expired now. not sure how much this one costs. likely $200?

my food stamps were slashed in half (covid emergency ending lol) and do not cover my food costs for the month so im paying like $150 a month on food that i didnt have to previously. i can maybe fix this one but im slowly losing my mind from malnutrition from trying to not go into debt and also eat. so i havent had it in me to go 1v1 welfare bureaucracy and possibly make everything even worse

my shoes are probably two months out from fully decomposing. they were $100 three years ago and id like to get something comparable given they lasted me this long

the rest of my clothes are also very literally becoming threadbare, falling apart, or are too big and keep slipping off. i legitimately feel embarrassed to go in public these days because i dress so shitty all the time

insurance doesnt cover my HRT anymore so that's $30 a month i didnt used to have to pay

im sorry this turned into such a ramble. i'm in such a bad way right now, i have been for quite a while and the dental work news is really just the final straw. i can't really have a fundraising goal because due to the SSI asset limit i can never own more than $2000. & i'm aware both that this is the poor people sending each other the same 20 dollars website and that there are people urgently trying to raise money to escape an active genocide. but i held off from making this post as long as possible & idk what else i can do

anyway if theres anything you can contribute to help me i would appreciate it more than anything. at the very least i need to do something about my tooth.

http://paypal.me/hivehum

[striveattemptfail]

knee deep in the couch seat and you're not eating me out | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 1.8k, T

@poolvertober: Day 4 – Casual

Summary: Is it casual now? TW: Brief mentions of canon-typical body horror/violence and Logan's alcoholism but nothing descriptive. Rated because butts and Wade's vocabulary are involved lol. Read on Ao3

A/N: Title is a bastardization of Chappell Roan's Casual, because I obviously had to for today's prompt. (I am so sorry Ms. Roan /o\) Un-beta'd and I deeply apologize—I just wanted to get this posted before I chickened out again 😅🙏 Inspired by this fanart because I could not get it out of my head lmao.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

Logan has only been living with Wade, Althea, and Dogpool for a few months but there’s a few things he picks up on.

One: Never question what Althea does. Ever.

Two: Mary Puppins is a living vacuum and will put anything in her mouth given the chance.

Three: Wade can have really, really bad days.

If Logan sees Wade with the Deadpool mask on the moment he wakes up, he knows he’s in for at least five hours of the bitchiest man he’s ever had the displeasure of meeting. He doesn’t blame Wade in the slightest for having bad days (the fuck kind of hypocrite would that make him?) but it doesn’t mean he’s just gonna take it if Wade is being particularly annoying.

“Bub,” he says carefully, warningly, his voice low and gruff, “the only reason why I’m not skewering your skull is because I just finished mopping the floor. Get your fucking face off’a me.”

Wade’s got his face buried in his chest, nose tucked firmly in between the crevice of Logan’s pecs, his hands petting the skin there. He, predictably, shakes his head no.

Logan had spent the day cleaning the apartment, tossing away old garbage bags and tidying the random piles of stuff littered everywhere. Wade avoided him—as he usually did on bad days—leaving a room once Logan entered so neither of them would bother the other. Logan didn’t think twice about stripping off his shirt once he finished mopping the living room, already sweaty from half a day’s work. 

Of course, that’s when Wade decides to pop out of Al’s bedroom where he and Mary were hiding, immediately faceplanting into Logan’s chest as Logan’s dragging out the vacuum.

“Mmmno,” Wade hums, the sounds turning into one word. “Gotta recharge my battery. Your lovely mountains help with that.”

Logan growls, unsheathing his claws on his right hand. “Wade, I’m fucking serious.”

“Peanut, I’m fucking serious,” the moron parrots back, but there’s an edge to his voice that Logan recognizes is Wade being serious for once. Wade snuggles further into his chest, hands now kneading the flesh there, calloused fingertips occasionally brushing Logan’s nipples. “Just let me have this,” Wade sighs.

(Logan pointedly ignores the urge to preen at Wade’s easy affection and praise.)

He closes his eyes, slowly breathes through his nose, and counts to ten to stop himself from stabbing Wade through the temple.

Just because he can stab the dipshit doesn’t mean he should, he reasons. He just finished cleaning the floors and Althea would appreciate less blood stains on them, he reminds himself.

He rolls his eyes when Wade hums into his skin, mumbling nonsense that Logan doesn’t bother trying to parse out. Though he’s annoyed (very annoyed), Logan’s surprised that he doesn’t mind the contact as much as he thought he would. God knows when was the last time he had this kind of skinship with someone, how long it’s been since someone touched him without wanting to pick a fight.

Fuck. Logan must be getting soft from living here.

With a final hum and deep breath, Wade lifts his face from Logan’s chest to meet Logan’s eyes, chin now digging into Logan’s sternum. Despite the mask, Logan can tell that he’s smiling beneath the fabric.

“Thanks for the assist, honey badger!” Wade chirps. “I feel much better now.”

He grunts, rolling his eyes again. “Whatever. Now get the fuck off me.”

Wade pouts but relents, pulling away from Logan without a word.

Shit, Logan already misses his touch, what the fuck.

He doesn’t let it show on his face, jerking his head in a direction that’s vaguely out of the way of the vacuum’s direct path.

“Can I get back to vacuuming now, princess?” he taunts, but even he can hear that he doesn’t mean the insult.

“Excuse you!” Wade gasps dramatically, a hand lifting to clutch his chest. “The only princess here is my little Princess Puppins!”

At the sound of her name, the dog dutifully comes skittering into the living room with a bark. Logan sighs at the hair she’s already leaving everywhere.

(For a dog with almost no fur left, the little she does have scatters around the apartment, unending and always in places Logan thought he already cleaned.)

Wade picks up Mary and partially lifts his mask to immediately cover her face in kisses, cooing nonsense and praise. With the bottom half of his face exposed, she licks into his mouth (fuckin’ gross, but whatever), and Wade looks visibly more at ease than he did not even ten minutes ago.

Logan tugs the cable of the vacuum to move it out of the way, only turning it on once Wade and Mary are back inside the bedroom.

And if he turns his back to hide the smile tugging at the corner of his lips, well, that’s no one’s business but his own.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

The mission went sideways faster than Wade could make an innuendo about it. There were casualties that didn’t need to happen, body parts Deadpool didn’t need to lose, places where Wolverine’s claws didn’t need to go. The official X-men (that is, the losers that lived at the X-Mansion) handled the PR shitstorm headed their direction while Wade whisked Logan and himself away from the pesky news cameras already on their heels.

The two of them came home to an empty apartment, and once Wade was dumped into the pull-out couch he and Logan shared, Logan took off. Wade probably shouldn’t have let him leave—knew all too well the kind of spiral one could fall into after a shitty mission like that—but he also knew better than to push Logan before the man was ready.

Besides, he had six fingers, half a leg, and a nose he needed to grow back.

Logan, the asshole, only shucked off his own uniform once they arrived home and didn’t help Wade change before he left, so Wade hobbles around like a ballerina unwilling to dance on two legs as he strips his suit. He manages to finally get an old shirt and a pair of black short-shorts on before he falls over, ass hitting the floor with a fuck! Blind Al arrives home when he does, Mary Puppins in tow after finishing her nighttime potty. Al’s only acknowledgement of Wade is her cursing out him and Logan for leaving her to tend to the damn dog she didn’t even ask for, but the lack of heat in her words tells Wade the truth.

“Love you too, Al!” he calls out.

“Go fuck yourself, you uncircumcised dickhead!” she barks back as she shuffles towards her room. “And don’t forget to have someone look after the dog next time!” She slams the door behind her.

Wade manages to get up and grab a spare mask that doesn’t have a hole around the nose, slipping it on as he tumbles back onto the pull-out. Even though Blind Al is blind and can’t bask in the glory that is a nose-less Wade Wilson, he still doesn’t want to see his own ugly mug in random reflections around the apartment. Mary tucks into her doggy bed at the corner of the room and falls asleep while Wade lies on his stomach and spends time on his phone, scrolling aimlessly through different apps as his body regenerates.

The fact that glueing himself to his phone means he can pick up the second Logan calls him is just a bonus.

But he doesn’t even have to worry about that because Wade’s only grown back four of his fingers and part of his shin when Logan surprisingly returns home. He is also surprisingly not as shitfaced as Wade thought he’d be. He’s still definitely drunk if the way he’s grumbling to himself and shuffling around is anything to go by, but he doesn’t smell like he went through an entire bar’s supply of liquor, and he doesn’t look near as bad as when Wade first brought him to the TVA.

“Welcome back, peanut!” he greets, and Logan only grunts in response. As Logan begins to change into his clothes for bed, he says, “I gotta say, I’m impre—”

But before Wade can finish his sentence, a now t-shirt and boxers-clad Logan faceplants into his ass.

Twisting to watch with wide, bewildered eyes, Wade goes still as stone as Logan’s hands cup his ass cheeks. He’s pretty sure Logan doesn’t need his heightened senses to hear Wade’s heart with the way it’s trying to beat out of his chest.

He’s drunk he’s drunk he’s drunk and his face is in my ass, what the flying fucking fuck is happening?! is all Wade can think.

Before he gets the chance to say anything, Logan grumbles, “Can ya fuckin’ relax, bub?” His words slur together like he can barely make his tongue move. “Yer fuckin’ stiff as a board ‘ere and I’m tryna use ya as a pillow right now.”

Wade forces himself to calm down—drunk or not, he doesn’t want to be known as a horrible pillow.

“Peanut,” he says carefully, “as ecstatic as I am that our relationship has suddenly escalated to rimming, why is your face buried in my ass while I have clothes on?”

It takes a moment for Logan to answer, but eventually he murmurs, “M’rechargin’ my fuckin’ battery, bub.”

Oh, fuck him, Wade thinks, his traitor of a heart fluttering at this hot mess of a man. How dare he throw Wade’s own words back at him like this? That is ridiculously unfair.

Wade’s still stewing when Logan lifts his head to glare at him. “Ya got a problem?” he asks with a frown, the clearest he’s sounded since coming home.

Wade immediately shakes his head. He may be ticked that karma’s working herself beautifully right now, but he’s not about to waste the opportunity of having The Wolverine using his ass like a pillow.

“Absolutely not!” he reassures Logan with a grin, desperately hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s about to flip his shit. “But I was hoping we’d be naked when we finally hit third base.”

He has to joke about it, he has to. Or else his own stupid feelings will choke him to a death that would be more merciful than whatever the hell this is.

“Nah,” Logans says around a yawn, head falling back down to Wade’s ass. “Just want’cha like this.” Wade tries and fails to steady his rapidly beating heart when Logan moves to wrap his arms around his waist.

At the silence that follows, he thinks Logan passes out on him, but just as he turns around to focus on his phone again, Wade hears him.

“Just...” Logan whispers, voice unguarded and overwhelmingly soft, “just wanna hold ya fer'once...”

Wade swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn’t have the freaky super-hearing Logan possesses but he’s pretty sure he hears that.

He’s drunk, he’s drunk, he’s drunk, he reminds himself, it doesn’t mean anything.

He turns back to his phone, hoping that Logan is actually asleep, which means he can’t see the blush covering Wade’s entire face.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 403: (But Just That One Part, Because I'm Not Caught Up)

Previously on BnHA: Truly no idea, but it kind of looks like Katsuki is riding some sort of spaceship, and everyone has gotten really, really sparkly. I see you all have been busy these past 22 months. Great job, keep it up.

Today on BnHA: “So it’s come to my attention that a truly shocking number of you are only reading this manga for a single character.” – Horikoshi Kouhei, October 2023.

so. where to start, lol

I guess I should open with an apology, because I am about to make a fairly selfish decision! what I am about to do, is post a reaction to Bakugou’s Return To The Manga. however, because I’m not caught up, I’m going to be reading this one scene completely out of context without knowing anything about what is going on. which means that I’m going to be missing out on god knows how many nuances and details, which means this reaction post will be short on those things as well. so basically I’m prioritizing my own personal gratification as a fan here even though it is 100% going to affect the quality of my reaction blog, and for that I genuinely am sorry. eventually I will finish catching up, and when that happens I will post a proper reaction with all the trimmings. that’s just how it is for now though

anyway so with that said, basically what I’ve done now is I have gone to the scanlation website, and clicked on chapter 403, and then scrolled down through most of the chapter while sort of half-looking away from my screen with my eyes squinted so that everything is mostly blurry, until I finally reached the big double-page spread with you-know-who doing his thing. namely, standing around on this giant glowy cereal bowl from the future, which appears to be either hovering up in the air, or slowly crashing onto the ground

and this right here, is exactly what I was rambling on about a moment ago. you guys I really am sorry to be doing this, because even I can tell this should be solemn and sincere moment of awe and excitement and relief. but because I completely lack any context whatsoever for wtf is happening, most of the dramatic impact is lost on me, and to tell the truth right now this page is a hell of a lot funnier than it has any right to be

like, so Deku. this boy is crying all the tears. I recklessly scrolled back up one page to see why, and it appears the answer is Because All Might Is About To Fucking Die (which, !??!?), so that’s actually VERY fucked up, and I’m sure I will have PAGES AND PAGES OF WORDS to say about all of that once I finally catch up properly. that is very traumatic and emotional and I will probably cry a lot about it

BUT, that being said, I just need you guys to know that without that context, Deku standing here with his giant head all >:O in the foreground, while Kacchan appears out of nowhere glowing with the power of a thousand suns and standing on top of this giant floating Smash Bros level that Nezu maybe probably built with his nine million dollars, is one of the wildest fucking things I’ve seen in my life. I feel like an accidental time traveler. you know when a character has one of those crazy prophetic dreams showing them chaotic glimpses of the future, and they’re just standing there all “???” because they have absolutely no clue what the fuck is going on? that is what it’s like right now

heh but there he is

“did you miss me, Izuku. back by popular demand after being on IR for 14 goddamn months. rebuilt better and stronger than ever thanks to the heroic spaghetti man wrapped tightly around my heart keeping me alive. just BnHA things. just a flesh wound. by the way, it’s me, Kacchan, just in case you didn’t recognize me on account of my still being really far away and completely covered by smoke, and also you thinking I was dead. here let me give you a close up to make this easier”

“fuck yeah. it really is me, btw. just in case you still couldn’t tell on account of me also being like 100x prettier than you remembered. guess it’s just that blindingly handsome character development”

also, “the end of an era” um hello, yes, what?? just what exactly have I missed here with all this All Might stuff?? because apparently All Might just prior to this was in some sort of mortal danger, is what I’ve been hearing, because everyone keeps posting excitedly about Kacchan showing up in the nick of time to save him? which incidentally makes my heart so incredibly fucking warm omg. it’s what both of them need AND deserve

why is everything so goddamn sparkly right now. this is like a Sailor Moon battle over here

love that look of instant recognition and shock and overpowering relief in Deku’s eyes though. also has he really been fighting in this cracked out OFA-overflowing mode this entire time?? he looks just like he did on the cover of volume 37. I still haven’t seen his actual canon reaction to the “death”, and I haven’t been keeping tabs on his fight with AFO??/Tomura?? at all, but I’m glad it looks to have been as emotional as I could have hoped

aw fuck yeah

his precious card. I’m now almost as invested in the saga of the All Might card as I am in all the rest of this. it’s all beat to hell, but somehow still made it through in the end. just like him

oh. my. g

protect them.

protect them all.

so is the reason this fight is so sparkly just because of OFA symbolism, then?? or is there something else happening here?? goddammit, okay, I‘m gonna very carefully scroll back to the beginning of the chapter, because I’m 100% positive there is some sort of deeply meaningful symbolic thing going on here and I’ll be damned if I miss out on it, spoilers or no

-- oh my goD??!

1. BABY ALL MIGHT WHAAAAAAT

IS THAT HIS MOM???? OH MY GOD DID WE GET ALL MIGHT BACKSTORY. oh my god. oh god. no actually don’t tell me, ahhhh I cannot fucking wait to read this properly, holy shit

so did something wind up happening to Mighty Mom later on then?? feels like it must have, since he wound up getting so attached to Nana? man I don’t want to think about any of that stuff after seeing this panel though :( just, damn it, why is this man’s whole entire life so goddamn fucking tragic

“the one thing I’ve done most is looking back to the path I took” my god I cannot wait to read this. only two short pages and I’m already buried miles deep into my All Might feels. came here for the triumphant Kacchan return and now I’m sitting here tearing up about All Might, god damn you Horikoshi YOU’VE STILL GOT IT. and I am STILL A SUCKER FOR ALL OF IT

anyway, so now back we go to the last couple of pages with this additional context, aaaaand...

...and apparently I’m now full-on crying about All Might! (: well how about that. turns out when you read the manual and follow the instructions properly this series still works exactly as advertised. don’t mind me I’m just sitting here sobbing because everything is exactly what I wanted and I apparently don’t know how to deal with that!!

THEIR FEELINGS BECOME WHAT?!?!?!

EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED AND I’M GONNA BE A MESS ABOUT IT FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME BECAUSE LIFE IS GRAND!!

ARE ALL OF THESE WATERY SPARKLES LIKE. DEKU’S FUCKING TEARS LMAO OR WHAT. HOW IS KACCHAN IN THE SPLASH ZONE. HOW ARE HIS TEARS HOLDING UP THE SPACESHIP. I DON’T UNDERSTAND A GODDAMN THING BUT THIS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A SHOUJOU MANGA, I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

the urge to ruffle baby Deku and baby Kacchan’s hair is so goddamn powerful you don’t understand. this is PRIMAL. they are SO happy and SO good and perfect. I’m gonna fucking die

there’s not even any dialogue. what the fuck are they even gonna say. their expressions say it all and more. also they are being kind to me because they know I’m not caught up so they don’t want to spoil me any further, thank you my sons

lastly, I guess, because I don’t really have anything else to add now that my brain has fully turned to sappy mush: so uh. I truly have not the slightest clue how or why, but. does Kacchan have OFA though. and why is the answer, “yes he definitely does.” ???

like, I don’t understand it, but I confess that by now I have spoiled myself on the last few pages of chapter 362 for reasons (those reasons being “I finally gave in and looked at them on purpose, because I’d already seen most of them out of context here and there, and my willpower is only so strong”), and so I know that this boy was talking to vestige!Might, and as far as I’m aware that is 100% not possible unless he has some sort of connection to OFA in some way so yeah

and now here he on this last page being all Profoundly Connected with Deku while they gaze into each other’s eyes, and I can’t help but notice that said eyes are all explodey and they look a LOT like Deku’s actually. and on top of that we have all of this All Might symbolism that I’m still crying about, so like? ???

anyway so I’m not going crazy here right? like this is definitely a thing? for whatever reason?? unless you guys know something here that I don’t. in which case I actually am asking to be spoiled fully just this once, because at this point I just need to know one way or the other and I don’t care lol

anyway so that concludes my thoughts I guess! so now my absurdly ambitious goal is to speed read the manga this next week and hopefully at least catch up to Kacchan’s “death”, so that I can better understand what’s happening when I inevitably wind up spoiling myself for chapter 404 as well. the plan right now is to still type up my liveblog notes as I go, but to not worry about posting or editing anything in between chapters. so I’ll have a big backlog of chapter recaps which I’ll eventually get to uploading whenever I can, but in the meantime I can participate more in the fandom side of things. since I really want to share all of my endgame theories and so forth, but in order to do that I really need to find out just what the fuck is actually going on lol, so yeah

[goomyloid]

hi sorry if this is a lot BUT! i have really enjoyed your art for a while and for some reason only now thought to actually go thru your blog.. i saw you tag a lot of things as kriselle and i found your post explaining that and. yeah i think i get you

bc like to me im not a fan of them romantically unless it’s specifically focusing on the fucked-upness of snowgrave. in that case it hurts but it’s like. reeeaaally interesting

but they’re also like. they can’t be accurately described as “friends.” they’re so close and so far from one another. they grew up together. they both know things nobody else does. they understand each other better than anyone else. and yet they haven’t talked much in years. noelle questions if kris is even her friend. they’re not quite friends but also, of course they are, how could they ever not be

anyways all this to say umm. kris and noelle make one go insane

hiii!! thank you for enjoying my art firstly 🥺🥺🥺 i have a disease and its called draw kris and noelle as many times as humanly possible. i am indeed insane

when it comes to pairings i think it might just be the gray area between (or outside of) friendship and romance that is unexplainable and comforting but still strange (this is a pattern ive noticed for almost all pairings i like, romantic or not...) like just being able to look at a couple of characters and recognize the unique closeness they have with each other...

that being said i will support romantic kriselle shippers till my dying breath LMAO its just not My Vision (you get me)... i think i ended up saying this on twitter a couple times but whatever those two have going on in the estranged childhood friends department is just infinitely more interesting to me LOL. and it becomes easier to tag things as kriselle even if theyre literally Just Standing In the Same Image Together

(i actually filled out one of my own ship charts for them, and when i posted it i was very nervous about somehow multi-track drifting into simultaneously disappointing everyone in some way (for being an apparent kriselle shipper and/or not actually shipping them romantically) So it makes me happy that people out there understand where im coming from with my interpretations of them...)

Also yes i love the weird fucked up romantic implications of snowgrave a lot lol. its HORRIBLE and im obsessed with it. kris putting a ring on noelle's finger and neither of them are happy about it. hand in unlovable hand and all that. as hellspawnmotel once put it, they get forced into this extremely strange and uncomfortable, almost heteronormative husband-and-wife (again ring imagery) kind of vision Which is so horribly unsettling considering theyre just two queer kids trying to exist (something something kris getting commonly misgendered with he/him and noelle having a very obvious crush on another girl). as a nonbinary lesbian it almost comes off as this really fucked up correctionist way of playing where noelle just becomes a romanceable option, not to kris but to the PLAYER and kris is just forced to go along with it. it SUCKS. and its SO interesting to me i cant stop thinking about it after THREE YEARS.

omfg i did not mean to write so much sirry. this is what happens when you talk to me about kriselle btw. Ty for the ask!!!

[according2thelore]

hiiiii i came across THIS wonderful post again: https://www.tumblr.com/flowersintheimpala69/757661016232460288/s1-dean-meeting-later-seasons-sam-through-time and was curious if you had any thoughts with es/ls verse and apologies!!!

i feel like through the seasons, dean clams up and can’t apologize anymore even when he clearly means it (“i’m poison,” etc). he does insane things to show it rather than say it. it’s like he thinks that if he doesn’t have that bit of pride — if he admits that he was wrong — the whole stack of cards is gonna fall.

meanwhile sam is soooo much more apologetic and taking the blame for things that aren’t his fault (whereas young sam is the opposite — he’s the tower of pride there, who’s not gonna ever admit that maybe dad was more complicated than thought).

just curious if you were thinking anything ☺️

the wonderful post in question!

hi, beth!!! :)

you hit the nail exactly on the head!!! dean holds a lot of guilt and blame in the early seasons (e.g., john's death, sam's death, jess's death, forcing sam away from stanford, jo's death, etc.), and as we get later into the seasons, dean never makes apologies or can be wrong. he still definitely has that guilt, but it mostly manifests as anger.

on the other hand, sam in the early seasons is never at fault, while in the later seasons, sam takes the blame for everything. he sees most things in their lives as his fault, and verbalizes blame as an apology.

they kind of go on opposite arcs, which is kind of fun!

i think they ABSOLUTELY notice this discrepancy very soon.

as a small-scale example, ES!Sam runs headfirst into LS!Sam one day in the hallway, and the stack of books ES!Sam's carrying goes flying. immediately, he's like "hey! watch where you're going!" even though he's absolutely the one that clipped the corner. LS!Sam is like "woah hey i'm so sorry i guess i'm in my head today"

ES!Sam definitely sees this as a supporting evidence for the lack of a backbone from sam. he can't even tell ES!Sam to fuck off about running right into him, and just takes whatever shit anybody throws at him. this probably drives him even crazier, because this is a further alienation--so much of LS!Sam he doesn't even recognize!!!

(cue ES!Dean/LS!Sam being stuck in an apology loop and ES!Sam/LS!Dean just staring at each other waiting for them to say something ("don't know how to use those long legs of yours yet, kid?" "shut up, it's your fault you're basically a tank"))

when they're all together, i think ES!Sam would irritate LS!Sam the most. LS!Sam would see ES!Sam as kind of an arrogant little shit, lol, especially since it's canon sam tends to be harsh with the younger versions of himself. it would make him sad, which would make him angry. who are you to know what's best? you don't know anything. you've never known anything.

i also think LS!Dean would irritate ES!Dean, because a dictator that can never be wrong?? very much john winchester, yup. when LS!Dean says something mean to anyone, and hits them with, like you said, an "i'm poison" move, ES!Dean would be like ?? wtf ?? what does that even mean ?? like okay emo, how about you apologize first ??

this was SUPER fun to think about, thank you so much for sending it in!! :) mwah mwah mwah! <3

-lizzy

[lily-alphonse]

Heyo! For the rare ships, may I ask for Shane/Leah please and thank you :D (also again so sorry for the cryptid af anon ask I sent originally!!)

I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THIS ONE (also for anyone wondering the cryptic thing is about the 1.6 spoiler ask, nothing shady lol)

Leah headcanon is that she runs away from her problems (Like, you know, leaving her fiance in the city). As soon as something gets too serious/boring/stressful whatever she's out. But she is very kind and friendly and does seek to make friends in her new town, including Shane.

He's off-putting. She gives him space at first. But they are neighbors and see each other at the saloon quite often. Some nights when Elliott doesn't join her she will sit beside Shane. If he is having a decent day he'll even entertain small talk. Other times he tells her to fuck off, and she does.

Basically I think she should go quite hard into trying to crack Shane and she does, he starts warming up to her. But then things start to get serious, maybe he reaches for her hand one night when they're walking home, and suddenly Leah starts to distance herself. It's not even that she doesn't want something with Shane. It's the fear that she does want it.

It goes at odds with what she promised herself, that she was going to be independent and live her life like she wanted, and it brings back all of the nasty indecision she had with her ex. On top of it all though is the immense guilt. Shane leans on her now. She wanted that and she got it. What happens when her support gets pulled out from under him? Should she blame herself if he spirals because of her?

This could go so many ways. Maybe he does spiral and it culminates in his big event. Maybe she is there to help him, or maybe she decides to run again, and its only when she's about to leave that Shane calls her out on HER problematic behavior for once.

I think I prefer that. Shane doesn't spiral. He recognizes that Leah is flawed in her own way and does for her what she did for him.

Shane is perceptive. He's noticed the walls she keeps around herself. She is never in a bad mood. No one is never in a bad mood. But she does disappear a few days at a time, here and there. She doesn't talk about her past. She will listen to people vent all day but when it comes to talking about her feelings she is always just fine.

He gives her a bit of tough love. "It's fine if you don't want to be together, I accept that obviously, but you can't keep living like this Leah. You have to let somebody in. You can't keep running. What kind of life is that?"

And they have a big old fight where she finally lets out all the nastiness she's been pushing down. Because Leah has been putting up with his nastiness for months he just takes it. When she's done shouting, breathing heavy and crying she's like fuck it and they have a sloppy rough makeout session where they're pushing things off of counters n stuff teehee

Inspiration for this idea came from "I Can't Make You Fall In Love Again" by Glass Animals, not the plot of the song but specifically these lines

Freedom at last, I know you wanted it But freedom don't last when you've got no one left, hm?

So yeah I really like this one I think it'd be dramatic and fun.

It has been a few days since I posted one of these but yes I am still going! Just have some things in my life making it difficult rn but still rolling, feel free to send your asks!

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[fullscoreshenanigans]

When and how did you get into TPN? For me I discovered TPN in 2021 through the Fandom page where I spoiled myself about Conny and some other stuff which I forgot and in 2023 I purchased the first two volumes of the manga and I fell in love. And the rest is ancient history!

Sorry about my little history lesson!

You're good! (If anyone else wants to share how they got into the series on this post I'd been down for that too)

My sister and a friend recommended the anime to me at some point (I want to say after it was on US Netflix) as something I might like. I did not pay any attention to this at all lol. They did lord this over me when it became one of my favorite series. But I managed to avoid all spoilers for it other than the orphanage being a farm, which wasn't a big deal to me since it happens so early on.

Fast forward to March 2021, within the ballpark of a day or two of the season 2 finale airing in Japan. I finished watching another series on Netflix, and it recommended TPN to me. I thought, I vaguely recognize this title, the description sounds interesting, and the thumbnail looks cute, so why not check out the first episode.

(dmotta3's blind reaction lives rent free in my head and inspired this post)

I got to the end of episode 6 and realized that my idea to just check out one episode at 1am was terrible because it was now 4am. But I had the day off from work, so after going to bed and doing everything else I needed to do that day I wrapped up the rest of season 1 because was hooked. I had to know what the fuck is up with these little babies with the mental fortitude and emotional maturity to handle this fantastical dystopia they found themselves in so well. And the final six episodes delivered and then some for me.

Me within watching the first ten minutes of S1e01: oh this kid with the black emo hair is going to be my favorite :)

Me upon watching S1e11: LKJFSDLKFLKDFJL OMFG?? OM?FG?? 🥴🙃🥴 THERAPY! THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS FOR YOU!!!

I noticed the second season wasn't on Netflix, so while avoiding as many spoilers as I could I took a peek around and discovered that a lot of people were unhappy with season 2. I asked some friends who had watched it if they liked it, and they said it was all right, but not as good as season 1. So what I ended up doing was figuring out where the first season left off in the manga, and then read a few chapters before watching the corresponding parts in the anime to see where it really diverged. By the time I got to the bunker in the anime and saw there was no dad to go in it, I dropped it entirely to focus on reading the manga. It took roughly four days from me putting on the anime on a whim to me reading the bonus chapters and epilogue, and I was initially kind of bummed about it for reasons I've discussed here.

(Chart I made to explain to a friend group my personal enjoyment of the series by arc because it's one of the silly things we do with each other, while avoiding some spoilers by removing the names of the last few arcs. I'd rank Cuvitidala and the human world arc a bit higher now and Return to Grace Field arc lower, but the rest is still largely the same.)

But even with my gripes with the series, it had nestled itself inside my heart and mind, and I was endeared to it enough to buy the blu-ray of season 1 and import the soundtrack.

Another crucial aspect for me was that @1000sunnygo was translating the mystic code book around this time as well as a plethora of other content that wasn't receiving official English releases. This kept me engaged with this silly little shounen that had endeared me so deeply, as I had new official content and information to look forward to every now and then in addition to latching on to some fanfics that proved to be foundational for my personal interpretation/enjoyment of the series. It also helped explain some of the issues I had with it, one of them being the pacing toward the end due to Shirai trying to salvage his health after being in serialized publishing for almost four years while still maintaining his sense of artistic integrity by ending the series on his own terms. I don't think this frees said choices from critique, but it helped me personally accept them more.

And then after almost ten months after first watching season 1 on a whim, I made this blog, though I didn't really start using it until February 2022. It was a first for me since I usually just keep everything on main in a random hodgepodge, but the brainrot wasn't going away, and I couldn't put my mutuals through another major interest, so here we are roughly 2.5 years later.

[searchforahero]

due to your post I had a vision of Brucie Wayne getting stopped by a cop and doing the whole Ron Swanson 'not to worry I have a permit' routine except the permit in question is just a picture of him and Commissioner Gordon making out

-redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog

OH I LOVE THIS

i don't often write outsider POV but i was inspired so UH i tried to write a ficlet based on this LOL this poor guy is so confused

There's a black Porsche going eighty miles down Seventh Street. Granted, it's 3:00AM so there's not really a whole lot of people out-and-about for the grade-A jackass behind the wheel to hit, but Officer Knox prides himself on doing things by the rules, so he drops his bagel on the passenger seat and flicks on his lights.

Knox is expecting at least a bit of a chase, the kind of kids who steal their parents cars to joyride through residential areas in the dark hours of the morning are also the kinds of kids who don't stop for cops and tell their teachers to fuck off when they check for homework. Luckily, he's mistaken, and the driver slows down and pulls over until he's nearly got his front tire on the curb.

He gets out and walks over to the guys window, it's dark and the streetlight behind him is casting a glare over the glass, so he can't identify anything about the driver. He taps on the glass and waits for the window to roll down.

He is not expecting to see Brucie Wayne, hair messed up like he's been running his hands through it and eyes more tired than he's ever seen them look on T.V. Knox is not the type of man who gets easily entangled in the allure of the rich and famous, he doesn't know half the names that his children pass around at the dinner table, but like any self-respecting Gothamite he knows this one, and he can't help but be a little star-struck, a little lost for words. It was a Thomas Wayne Foundation program that got his daughter her internship, and a Martha Wayne Foundation one that put his son through school.

But Knox prides himself on doing things by the rules, so he holds up his badge and asks Wayne "Do you know how fast you were going sir?"

Wayne gets a sheepish sort of look on his face, Knox has seen it in interviews of course, but it's even more earnest looking in person, he scratches the back of his head awkwardly before speaking "Yes officer, I'm really sorry, it's just..." He makes a face, something like a grimace "I got a call from my son out in Bludhaven he's sick and he lives alone, I need to get him medicine and convince him to take off work tomorrow. You know how it is, surely?" His smile turns wider, more friendly, like he's commiserating with an old friend over the difficulties of fatherhood.

Knox does in fact know, God knows his daughter doesn't sleep enough, always going on about whatever they're researching at the lab, he's always having to remind her to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, but still, eighty in a residential area is unacceptable, and Wayne really ought to know that, what with all the kids he seems to have living over in that manor of his. It's not necessarily uncommon for stupid teenagers to wander around the roads in the middle of the night.

He reaches to write Wayne a ticket "Well, I'll make this quick then, just pay this and make sure you keep to the speed limit from now on Mr. Wayne and I'll let you get to wrangling your son." but as he's going to hand the slip to Wayne, the man pushes a piece of paper of his own up through the window.

In the dark, it's difficult for Knox to tell what he's looking at at first, it's a photograph, but it's difficult to make out right away. He just stares for a minute until he starts to recognize too men, one facing away from the camera, dark hair, presumably Wayne, and another towards the camera, they're kissing passionately, the grey haired man's hand gripping Wayne by the back of the neck, and it only takes Knox a minute more to figure out why that man looks familiar, before he realizes it's his boss. That he's looking at a picture of Commissioner Gordon, locked in a passionate embrace with frivolous socialite Brucie Wayne himself.

By the time Knox comes to his senses Wayne is rolling up his window and announcing that "I hope this will be sufficient", sufficient for what Knox isn't sure, but he's still too shocked to protest as Wayne pulls his car out of park and drives off towards Bludhaven, going a solid 60/MPH this time.

Knox returns to his vehicle and slumps into his seat, grabbing his bagel and trying to work through what he just saw. He can hardly imagine his boss, serious and dedicated as he is, holding a conversation with someone as airy as Wayne, much less kissing him. What could they possibly even talk about? He spends only five minutes pondering his new knowledge, before he decides it's none of his damn business and gives his level best to ignore what he just saw.

[heartscrypt]

Hii! I have a question about your thoughts on jamiazu.

Do you think that Azul would ever be able to confess any romantic feelings for Jamil? If so, how? And if not, would they be able to get together in any other way?

Sorry if this is a weird question, just curious.

thanks for your question! it is SO not weird at all i really enjoy stuff like this. actually i am going to go on a huge ramble that goes on a little tangent so like. LONG POST AHEAD!!!! be warned!!!!!

anyways. azul is always confessing his romantic feelings for jamil whether he knows it or not. in every interaction. because he's so damn obvious. hope this helps LOL

in all seriousness though. i really like to think that azul is kind of cursed to be a hopeless romantic despite it going against all of his pragmatic sense. i mean. he's a child of divorce who hates leaving things up to chance and he believes in getting something back whenever he gives something away. being head over heels with someone goes against his whole nature, so i think it's definitely a new thing for him. he won't recognize that his feelings are romantic right away because he'll be too busy trying to justify to himself why he's investing so much time and energy into a guy that Clearly wants nothing to do with him and won't give him the time of day. its business, guys, i swear.... stonks.....

i think once he does come to terms with it though. it starts leaking through in Every Interaction he has w/jamil. in every encounter, azul basically ends up saying I Love You without actually ever speaking it out loud. whether it's through his actions (like getting jamil gifts / offering to help out without any genuine expectation of repayment) or or his words (like implying things about them being good together / complimenting jamil excessively). things he did before he realized, but they just have so much more Weight to them now that he Knows he likes the other in a very Non-Platonic-Business-Partners way. he doesn't intend for it to have that emotional weight but its fucking impossible for him to hide and he does NOT know what to do with himself.

he keeps pushing forward regardless because some part of him hopes that his feelings will reach jamil but he also does it with the expectation that jamil will push back like he always has and that's completely fine by him because never actually directly admitting that these feelings are romantic means that the rejections also stay platonic and that is. Way easier to bounce back from. because god forbid jamil sees at who he is behind all the walls he's put up to protect his most vulnerable and emotional self and ends up hating the real azul too.

tl;dr: i don't think azul would go out of his way to make a real, honest confession of his feelings. but he's so obvious it actually hurts to watch

---

ok so. as for jamiazu get-together:

maybe im like super biased b/c im a sucker for narratives that involve jamil learning to shake his passivity and going ahead and Taking what he wants. but i always think that any scenario where jamiazu gets together has to be initiated by jamil somehow. azul can make the first move and several moves after that but jamil has to be the one to make the Final move if that makes sense.

i don't have like. one set get-together scenario but i have a couple that i like to rotate in my head sometimes. most of them involve azul being a failgirl and getting caught off guard because i think it's funny and jamil also thinks it's funny. here are two for your viewing pleasure:

azul makes a pass at jamil that is romantic-coded but could be interpreted as platonic. jamil seizes the opportunity to turn it Explicitly into a romantic thing and fluster azul to no end about it.

azul: there's a new tasting menu at the mostro lounge if you'd like to come with me and try, i'd love to see what your discerning palette makes of it ^__^!

jamil, very casually: yeah sure. why not. i'll go on a date with you

azul, who did NOT expect a yes so his head is about to explode in t-minus 5 seconds: oh, uh. that's .fantastic, actually— wait. ....DATE?!?!?;!?

jamil corners azul and admits romantic feelings first. bonus points if it's a situation where any romantic confession would be incredibly out of the blue. and the way that jamil says it is like dropping a bomb on azul

like in potions lab. azul's concentrating very hard on pouring an exact amount of a substance. jamils watching him and at some point out of nowhere he breaks the silence in between them by going "i think i like you. in the romantic sense". azul's concentration snaps immediately and he fumbles the beaker into the cauldron out of sheer WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. it explodes in both of their faces. they both have no chance to address what jamil said because crewel is chewing them out for the next 15 minutes about lab safety. during the entire 15 minutes azul looks like he's been hit over the head with several bricks. Repeatedly. jamil's smirking the whole time though he dgaf. takes pleasure in flustering azul

anyways. im insane about these guys ♥️ if you stuck around and read the entire post im really sorry for writing so much i just have a lot of thoughts

[heretherebedork]

Sorry I’m sort of late to the wedding impossible discussion, but some of your posts inspired me to watch it. I just finished episode 3 where it ends with jihan telling ahjeong he’s going to steal her away and….am I supposed to like jihan? Because I don’t, at all. He thinks dohan and ahjeong are in a real relationship right now doesn’t he? He thinks they’re actually getting married bc they want to? Did I miss something where he knows it’s fake? Am I supposed to root for him to destroy his brother’s relationship and life so that dohan can inherit a company and jihan can profit? I recognize I’m early into the show but how are people calling dohan selfish when every single thing jihan has done for the past 3 episodes has been for his own gain? The only redeeming thing he’s done is recognize he was wrong for getting ahjeong that role, but then he kind of messed that up for me by being violent to that worker on the drama. Because sure that guy was an asshole but so are you jihan!!! I don’t think that makes it ok or attractive (it felt like the show wanted me to find it attractive) for jihan to be physically aggressive. At this point I dislike jihan more than i even dislike the older siblings who are clearly supposed to be the villains lol.

I have no idea, anon. None. Don't ask me, I'm part of the Do Han defense squad who's barely watching the het parts of this show frankly.

Ji Han definitely feels like a selfish asshole for the vast majority of the show and, yes, he has some trauma that explains some of his actions but dear lord is he an asshole to Do Han.

From pressuring him to get married and take over the company which Do Han obviously doesn't want and is clear that he doesn't want to trying to seduce the woman he thinks his brother loves to just generally harassing Ah Jeong every chance he gets.

But he's the male lead, so a lot of people are going to just decide that he's Right. No matter what. Apparently.

Or they just assume that being in the closet automatically makes Do Han selfish because that's lying and we can't lie! Nope! No lying here! If you lie to protect yourself, that makes you selfish. /s

Yeah, I hate that.

Do Han was protecting himself and we get to see that he has a reason to do so when his grandfather literally stops him from coming out! There was a reason Do Han stayed in the closet and ran to New York. I still don't understand why his grandfather wants him to inherit the business. He's a gay artist who's been aboard being a gay artist for five years!!! Why should he be any good at business?!

(I saw someone complain that Do Han never let Ji Han visit him in New York and it's like... no fucking duh? Man was living his best gay life out there, he was no about to invite the little brother he was in the closet to into that life both to protect himself and not to force Ji Han to carry his secret as well.)

But, yeah, Ji Han's an ass. And the show tries to redeem him but not for what he did to Do Han until much, much too late for me. And Do Han deserves better.

[cartoonrival]

Maybe this doesn't count but days ago when you posted abt krbk i remember how i miss kirishima so much and their friendship djdjd they still haunt me, anyway do you have any analysis or though on them or kr? I don't have much except that i love that rock boy he's so darling and sparks joy to me but also i wanna see him mad, and snap and have his patience tested dunno i love how kr is a libra and has his thing with the "earth" element unbreakable quirk and bkg is a taurus with his whole explosions etc idk, im sorry if this got too long

edit after i wrote like 4 paragraphs of this post: this is like 1 mil disjointed thoughts abt kirishima and krbk its not structured at all and most of it is really loosely related. anyways >

first off this slides presentation was like the bible to 15 year old me. please keep in mind its a relic from 2017 or something. the only reason i still even have access to it is because i still use the same gmail lol. if whoever made that ppt found out i was posting about it they'd probably shoot me in the head. so im sorry for that. but its an important piece of history. For Me. it has alllll the staples of anime shipper copium so its a valuable relic.

i'm at a point where im too balls deep in krbk because ive been obsessed w them since i was a freshman in highschool that i have a hard time determining what is and isn't a stretch. i stand by most of the takes i had about bnha when i was younger but i also recognize that a lot of my reads of the characters are colored by whatever i cooked up back then. like how people forget what the source material is like cuz theyre fanon poisoned except instead of fanon its the takes of a single 15 year old who had an ego about doing well in english class. all of this to say that slides copium aside i am really really certain kirishima is gay coded but i can't tell if im saying that because its true or because i've been reading him as gay for almost 6 years.

anyways actual post instead of preface. kirishima is ultimately a tertiary character and he gets increasingly irrelevant as the series goes on which PISSES ME THE HELL OFF cuz he's my special boy. ultimately his plot relevance was almost entirely an immediate result of his closeness to bakugou; the overhaul arc is the first and kind of only major moment he has to stand On His Own (meaning as his own person rather than Bakugou's Best Friend), but even then his relationship with bakugou still plays a decent role. bakugou has been critical to the development of kirishima's self esteem to the point where "stupid strong" is something he thinks about to conjure the strength he needs to survive a hopeless situation.

side note, i really love the overhaul arc its one of my ult faves probably second only to kamino, but i think the anime really dropped the ball SPECIFICALLY HERE and i think about this all the time

^ so a big part of the fight w rappa was that kirishima goes in thinking he;s kinda lame. like that's whats at the core of this arc for kirishima, he thinks his quirk is lame and he thinks he's worse than all his classmates and hes always sort of been a coward when it came down to it and since coming to ua every instance of brashness and bravery has been fully conscious and intentional as he forces himself out of his shell to become who he wants to be. and overhaul is the Moment where that confidence and strength is being put to the test, without his classmates to lean on.

and he LOSES against rappa. its a fucked up matchup and he loses because his quirk is defensive and fatgum's quirk is defensive and rappa's quirk is the perfect opposite. but rappa is still impressed by him and he compliments him and shows fat where he can patch kirishima up. the core of rappa's reaction is that kirishima is a KID. this kid is 15 and he put up a hell of a good fight and i know he's gonna kick ass someday! that day isn't today but that doesn't mean he sucks! and having that dumbass smirk that the anime gave him just dodges that completely compared to the bleeding broken look in the manga. he LOST. he almost DIED because he wasn't strong enough and he is aware of that? he puts on a brave face and isn't entirely disappointed in himself but at the same time he. couldn't. whatever. he got back to the dorms and told mina he still had a long way to go. whatever i don't care.

anwyays ive said it before but i think it really reallyblows that krbk gets not even sidelined but basically forgotten cuz bakugou having like. a comfortable friendship is so wildly important and it's like the major reason he was able to grow enough to get to the point he's eventually at with deku. like most of baku's character development is not a direct result of interactions with deku it's the broadstroke result of interactions with ua as a whole, and kirishima "only person who bakugou views as his equal for no apparent reason other than he's gutsy and fun to be around" eijirou is pretty explicitly the centerpiece of that. he;s the first person to reach out to bakugou and bakugou actually reaches back. like their relationship is something genuinely good and its safe and its happy and with the insane turmoil of (im gonna use bakudeku as a unit term as i am wont to do but yk its platonic) bkdk that's like!! really important to me!!! especially with a story that takes a lot of care to run the casual silly teenager antics parallel to the superhero shit, i find the fact that bakugou has this sort of weird and stupid and embarrassing first crush thing happening w this loud and sweetie pie dude w stupid ass hair to be soooooooooooooo charming and fitting and awesome. it makes the story better! to me!

literally one of my fave faaaave things abt bnha is the care taken to like. make u feel engaged w the supporting cast and like reminding u that theyre individual people with personalities and likes and dislikes and relationships with each other and close friends and whatever. the fucking!!! room tours literally just to show everyone's decoration tastes and cute little interactions between characters and hearing their opinions on each other and stuff!! kaminari plays with ojirous tail during class! kirishima wears a bandana around his head at the end of the day because the hairspray doesn't hold as well and his hair starts flopping! the teachers do karaoke and ectoplasm can make more clones after a few drinks! and because that whole backdrop is built up with so much care, the idea that yes they are risking their lives and the world is falling apart, they're also still HIGH SCHOOLERS and they are still acting like it. so bkaugou's relationships outside of deku are reaaaally important to me because like. yes bkdk is the relationship the story is built around but the gradual building of relationships with his classmates is also important, relationships that are normal and relaxed and built on something other than 15 years of ego and competition and jealousy and admiration and hate and ego again. yk??????

^this is kind of why making a bnha comic has been appealing to me lately i just think their stupid antics are soooo cute and the fact that the story directly gives attention to that aspect of their lives is rly valuable to me ..... anyways Kirishima is a hero who is popular amongst men -_- This keeps me going

[acoldsovereign]

FOR THE MAN WHO WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVES.

// @scarlxtleaves / @thuganomxcs / @peoplcshope

---

{{ Happy Birthday, you fuckin' fucker! (I say this with love). I remember when I first came to the DBZ RPC months ago and I was so shy I didn't know how to communicate properly. People scared me. Following people scared me. People following me back scared me. I was freakin' scared of EVERYTHING. I even unfollowed a person I followed (and then followed them back when they checked in with me) because I realized how bad that looked/how problematic it could be if I didn't address it. I felt so bad, and I still do sometimes. I'm so glad that mutual was understanding and patient with me, aaaaaaaa. Needless to say, ya girl had SO many issues in the beginning. I was a HOT MESS. Hell, I didn't even have all of my muse info up but you didn't give a shit about none of that. You just took one look at my blog, saw 'despot of the universe' on my header and said 'LET IT RIP' like Beyblade. DUDE, you were ballsy as fuck and I'm so glad for that! You gave me my first ever starter here!!! THAT made me remember you! Everytime I logged in, it was to respond to our Future Gohan/Maiz fight thread. (I'm actually looking for it now because that's gonna be something I continue after I reply to someone else first 👀). You're one of the first people I ever plotted with too, even if that intimidated me a little. I mean, granted it was after you gave me the starter because I was freaking worried about everything, which was why I was all over your inbox, "okay, so she can do this and that...", "i have no problem with them having this sort of dynamic", etc. Gosh, you were overwhelmingly sweet and kind to me and I appreciate that. I know this is not something I should apologize for, but I'm still sorry that I scared you slightly when I changed my username to acoldsovereign from maizthefemalesaiyan, and didn't tell you in advance. I didn't realize you wouldn't recognize me so I had to put the former name in my old promo post. YOU'RE why I did that. I didn't know what other accounts you had and I just wanted to let you know it was meeeeeeee! ;w; But then you forgot your password to the blog so we couldn't even communicate anyway! One thing I will say-- it is funny I recently posted about Toriyama and Future Trunks and what the latter means to me because guess what blog I found you on. Guess what reunited us. Yeah.

FUTURE TRUNKS.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?????? That man is always doing something for me! You would've thought he was REAL. But anyway, it was so cool to have you back on my dash again! It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize who it was. I saw the name "Jay" on your promo post and it didn't cross my mind it was you, man. Not until I went down the blog and saw the writing style matched up. Remember how I just burst into your inbox and made some noise? And then you realized it was me? That shit was hilarious. We were so happy to see each other. Everything's been smooth sailing since then and we've created so many cursed memes, threads, jokes and storylines. Dude, we fuckin' made Rengakura. That little psychopath LOL. Well, moreso I made him but your response to that thread in particular made it so that he didn't come out any worse than he could've. Damn you for having Trunks make the right decision! (Again, I say this with love). At least in one verse, Trunks finally gets a happy-ish ending though. He lives with his mostly mellowed-out/former-tyrant for a wife and a pseudo-sane Saiyan-hybrid child on a spaceship, having space adventures. 🥺 Papa Trunks isn't something I knew I needed until I got it so thank you. I also did not know Maiz was actually capable of chilling the eff out-- THAT was a surprise to me. The fact that she's actually a decent mother is hilarious, considering all the fucked up stuff she's done before without blinking an eye. I also love how through our threads, you can see how she naturally came to care for him, even if she's sadistic and still messes with him from time to time. One of my favorites scenes with them unironically was when she offered to take Trunks to a tropical planet for his birthday. She was actually affectionate towards him the proper way more or less, but he didn't realize it because he was so used to her being busy/selfish/frosty/teasing. Bro thought he was dying. That was tragically sad yet funny all at once. I'd say more but this is already a lot and you already know how I feel about your Yusuke and our favorite assassin, Sanosuke.

Long story short- thank you for warmly welcoming me into this small, but chill RPC. I'll always love and appreciate you.

Happy birthday, Jaybird.

[highlifeboat]

You know how sometimes you think about something sweet and your mind goes "but what if we made it darker?".

Yeah.

So what if Max's mom was revived somehow?

Like we talked about it happening with Marguerite in the past, and the way it fucked with Mia, but what about in this case? How much would it fuck with Max?

Would he be happy, cause she's back? Sad, because it's not his entire family? Traumatized, cause "oh god he saw her broken body, bleeding on the ground and *he ran*, he ran away and he couldn't save them, couldn't save his siblings, her other children, she must hate him, want him gone, he is a monster and undeserving..."?

How would she react to him? (I like to think she would forgive him, would hold and love him. Maybe be a bit overprotective about Dani and the others, because she knows their rep, and he is her "last child left".)

How would she respond to having a son now, rather than the daughter she thought she had? (I hope she would love him all the same, he deserves that much. (Darker thought that it's more because of her not wanting to lose another kid than overall acceptance/understanding, but ehhhh, that might *too* dark. Though I could at least see the confusion still))

How did she get back? My bet's on Miranda - looking for new ways to revive some of her fallen followers, to bolster her ranks once more, and started with his family because, even if they were ripped apart by Lycans, that's easier to repair than those burnt alive. And Alcina won't let her close enough to her property to use the scarecrows or zombie maidens anymore. Plus "(he)'s always whining about the loss, anyhow. (He) should be grateful I'm so generous." (As if she would ever do anything for reasons other than her own gain, and maybe to try to get on Mia's good side more by appealing to one of her "friends").

What if she came back wrong?

Anyway, long post is long. Sorry for the rambling lol (Yes I put some of Miranda's speech in parenthesis cause I refuse to misgender Max, even to quote that bitch)

When I tell you I went fucking FERAL FOR THIS–

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY–

I strongly believe pulling bodies from the rubble of the slaughter and deciding to play God is something Miranda would do. However, I find it far more likely that she would pull Max’s mom by pure chance more than anything. Perhaps she was simply scouring the aftermath and his mom’s corpse was one of the less-mangled/easier to repair bodies she came across. Took any valuables off, stripped the body, and went to work mending the flesh and repairing what she could manually before starting on Cadou injections. And because Miranda had more than one corpse that she pulled, Max’s Mom wasn’t the first to be experimented on, so she wasn’t revived until recently.

Now, having memories in tact when revived was slowly becoming a trend, so she wasn’t surprised when the woman woke up, looked directly to her, and let out a raspy “Mo–ther Mir…a-nda…?” Recognizing something as significant as herself was obvious. But she seemed to retain… more than the basics. When she started coming around, getting more aware, she started to panic. Rambling on about the Lycans, standing from the operating table and calling for various names. None of which Miranda knew except for “Maxima”–(Which, let's be real she only knows his (dead)name because he’s such a disrespectful shit towards her)

So, in typical “Let’s see how far this goes” Miranda fashion, she points his mom in the right direction to find Max. (AKA the giant castle that is commonly known as a human death trap. So his mom is freaking out a little at that information) Then just kind of… sends her off with nothing else.

Okay, so, once his mom finds him in the castle and they’re technically reunited, Max is just…. So many things at once. Emotions are so high, for both of them.

On Max’s side, he’s… He’s happy, but also incredibly confused, and terrified, and just…. Every emotion imaginable feels like it’s weighing on him. His mom is here, alive, but there’s scars and stitches and her skin tone is a sickly pale that almost rivals Alcina. All the evidence of what happened on display, it reminds him of what he’s tried so hard to forget but… But she’s here. For real. He can touch her, say everything he didn’t get to, he can hug her, but he doesn’t know if he should. So much about it hurts, but not all of it is in a bad way.

And that doesn’t even cover the guilt and trauma that seeing her brings. That’s a whole other beast. When his mother asks him what happened to his other siblings, he can’t even begin to try and tell her. How can he? How is he supposed to explain what he allowed to happen, all because he was too much a fucking coward. That all he did was run. That even the one he managed to get to a safe location died anyway. That the only child she has left is the only one that deserves to be dead.

He hasn’t felt the weight of emotions like this since that day, and that’s evident when he starts having a full breakdown over it all. He can’t stop himself from shaking and when the tears come he can’t hide it. When she pulls him into a hug in a hope to comfort him, he clings onto her as if it’s life or death. Because to him it may as well be.

And from her side…. She doesn’t even know what to think. He looks so incredibly different from what she remembers. She almost didn’t realize who he was, but that face and those eyes are unmistakable to her. He looks older than he should, she thinks, and tired. As if he hasn’t slept in years. And the scars. Not to mention… everything else about his appearance. She has so many questions for him, but she asks about her other children first.

The look he gives her is answer enough, but the sobbing that quickly follows it is all the confirmation she needs. Her heart twists like a knot, knowing her children suffered the same fate as her, the pain and fear they all must have felt. That Max has suffered all this time, a lone survivor. When she pulls him into a hug, he squeezes her tight, and for a while they just… sit, on the floor. She rocks him a little, strokes his hair, anything to try and calm him. Between his heavy sobs are raspy apologies. He’s so sorry, he tells her, he should have done more. He couldn’t save them. He was so scared and the Lycans came so fast. And she tells him to hush. She’s not upset with him, it wasn’t his fault, she loves and forgives him. Whatever he needs to hear in order to compose himself a little.

In terms of Max’s transitioning, it definitely takes her by surprise. She isn’t necessarily upset about it in any way, he’s still her baby, and she’ll love him no matter what identity he chooses to go by. But she also doesn’t fully understand it. And he doesn’t expect her to, as long as she’s supportive. She might slip up and misgender him by accident on occasion, but it’s not malicious, and she does correct herself/make an effort to get it right. It might’ve caught her off guard at first, but her love is unconditional. (Also her saying “You’ve grown into a handsome young man.” to him would make him burst into tears again. Like that’s something he would fantasize about.)

I do think the only thing that gets her is the fact… Max is basically integrated into the Dimitrescu family at this point. Like, when Max tells her “You should meet my girlfriend.” She didn’t expect to meet with one of the Dimitrescu Daughters (though Daniela does try to be very polite), nevermind wind up meeting all of them, and Lady Dimitrescu herself.

It does put her into a bit of a protective stance, though. Despite Max insisting things are perfectly fine and the Dimitrescus really aren’t as evil as the stories say, she can’t quite help but be… nervous. They don’t really blame her. (Perhaps she’s a little… too protective. But Max doesn’t seem to mind it.)

Now, the idea that she comes back wrong is even more interesting, because I like to imagine a scenario in which both these worlds exist.

Max gets his mom back, happy family, all is good. For a while, anyway. And then things… change.

Maybe his mom starts becoming a little hostile. More aggressive towards everybody. It starts off little at first, and Max tries to chalk it up to simple stress from trying to adjust to everything. His mom isn’t an angry person, after all. But it slowly starts getting more out of hand, to a point it feels like she’s trying to be territorial.

Of him.

And it’s not something she’s particularly thrilled over. It’s a very “I can’t control myself” scenario. Kind of like a parasite slowly eating at her mind and turning her into a host.

And I just think it would be really fun if it culminated in some physical fight between her and Daniela, and Max having to step in and break it apart.