#SOMEONE GET THEM SOME THERAPY STAT

[phantasiiae]

When all of this is over, I will be surprised if I am still living.

Dion doesn't say that out loud, though, instead offering Joshua a small smile and giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm sure we will. Sanbreque is in need of an emperor now, and...while I don't see myself entirely worthy, I suppose I'll have to take my place eventually," he murmurs, his brow furrowing. It's easier to pretend that he intends on having some kind of future instead of acknowledging that he doesn't plan on returning.

"I would like you to remain in my life. We were apart for far too long, I think," he muses, laughing softly and then sighing. "It means everything to me, being your friend."

Joshua offers a small smile, though it faded beneath the heavy emotions that hung in the air between them. There was so much more he could have done for Dion, to save him from his Mother's awful schemes... He should have been quicker in Twinside. Eighteen years of recovery and hiding in the shadows and allowing thing to become this bad...

When Dion's hand came to rest on his, Joshua looked down and simply studied the shape of Dion's hand. "I am glad that I could be helpful to you. I hope I can continue to be so."

"When all of this is over, I'm sure we will remain close friends."

[quietwingsinthesky]

oh my god even doesn’t know how to write

[eusuntgratie]

as a certified mom(tm), what's the most common thing people get wrong when they write children?

ooooh i love this question! (adding certified mom to the resume STAT btw)

i think the MOST common thing people get wrong is the realistic development/representation of a child at a certain age. i see lots of fic where a three year old is speaking in full sentences, where an eight year old baby-talks all the time, where a six year old has literally no concept of what is happening in their life. i saw a good tumblr post that was a great resource for writing kids by age that i'll see if i can find. but with how many moms are on tumblr, i think just asking them... how would a five year old talk? or how would a ten year old handle this type of situation? would be a great start.

there are other things that are always jarring for me as a parent that someone who doesn't spend a lot of time with kids might not notice or care about.

the first is that your (young) kids are ALWAYS around. you are literally always responsible for where your kid is and what they are doing. if they aren't with you, you've made a plan for where they are, how they'll get there, when you'll pick them up, etc. there are exceptions of course (people living on huge pieces of land or in neighborhoods where they know everyone are more likely to have their kids running around and might not know exactly where they are, some people have multigenerational households and have a lot of help). but even in those cases, the parent still knows and is responsible for that kid. there's nothing wrong with writing a kidfic that isn't realistic just bc its cute or you like the trope. but as a parent its jarring as hell to have a character introduced as a parent (especially a single parent!) and then the kid is never around. i promise you that man is not fuckin' or going on dates as much as you want him to be 🤣 or if he is, it took a LOT of work or he has a LOT of support.

related to this, every parent i know is exhausted. if their love interest isn't attracted to their eye bags or letting them sleep instead of waking them up for sex, get outta my face. the sexiest thing a partner could do for a parent? LET THEM SLEEP.

related, we do fuck with kids in the house. (cough cough chris going on sleepovers 3x/week in fic 🤣). its okay. you can make keeping quiet sexy. you can lock the door so you'll hear it if they need something without traumatizing them. you can use a baby monitor to keep an eye or ear out. we don't wait until our kids leave to have sex, or some of us would hardly ever have sex.

a few random notes and i'll wrap up. kids aren't (and shouldn't be put in the position to be) solving their parents problems for them. most kids won't immediately trust a new adult, especially if that person is dating their parent and their other parent is still in their life, even if they really like that person. a parent would not leave their child with their brand new love interest unless they had literally no other option. i have some issues, but there are very few people i trust to be alone with my kid. someone i don't know well would never make it onto that list.

lastly, parents fuck up. we aren't perfect. i try really really hard to break generational shit, to do better, to be a good mom. i've read lots of books, done tons of therapy, found great resources, done parenting groups, i consult with other parent friends and friends who work in mental health about challenging situations. and i fuck up all the time. kids, even great kids, are little assholes sometimes. nobody's perfect, and that's okay. nobody's kid is a perfect little angel 24/7 and nobody is a perfect parent.

my askbox is always open and i always love to talk about writing! thanks for this it was a fun question to answer <3

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E12: Fire

Case: An incel played by Mark Sheppard is lighting people (and things, but we're more concerned about the people) on fire, and they can't figure out how he's doing it. This case is brought to Mulder's attention by his toxic British ex, Phoebe (who, as far as Mulder's exes go, is way more charismatic than Fowley so -shrug emoji-), and the two of them go off to Massachusetts to stop some rich British people from being barbecued. Half the people in this episode are weirdly horny, especially the fire expert guy at the Bureau who sounds like he's in the process of getting off when he describes pictures of fire. Mark Sheppard kicks a dog. Mulder literally says the words, "That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants—you rarely get to press charges," so at least they're self-aware. Also, he's terrified of fire and apparently "cursed" with a photographic memory—I'm pretty sure neither of these things ever come up again. Meanwhile, the only person doing any actual FBI work is Scully. Thank god for her.

Does someone die in the cold open: Ah, yeah. Death by psychic immolation. Not the nicest way to go.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No, but he does get practical joked into thinking he's about to die in a car bombing. Take note, Youtube pranksters.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The most damning evidence is Incel Mark Sheppard himself, and while he's definitely a little crispy, he makes it to the end.

Whodunit: Incel Mark Sheppard

Convictions: Incel Mark Sheppard will face prosecution once he's done applying aloe to his burns. They are kind of not sure how to do that given that he can light literally anything flammable on fire with his mind. If it was 2024 they'd just do a Zoom call, but alas.

Did they solve it: Yes!

[how do i determine if an episode is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Forced exposure therapy.

Do you need to suffer from a convenient phobia that is relevant to your current situation in order to provide suspense to your plotline, but you also don't want to have to ever bring it up again in your general narrative arc as a whole? Get rid of it quick with forced exposure therapy!

Forced exposure therapy works by having you speedrun the entire therapy process by putting you in a life or death scenario where you have no choice but to face your fears. Tired of being afraid? Well throw yourself into that burning building and learn to become brave, once and for all!*

*Forced exposure therapy may worsen phobias in some individuals, potentially resulting in the development of moderate to severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Do not put yourself into life or death scenarios without first speaking to your doctor to see if forced exposure therapy is right for you.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 5 (that's two in a row! new best streak!!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1 (oh man, we were so close two different times. first one Scully goes, "Mulder, it's Scully," and i was like, "damn," and then later she started calling him on her gigantic black box cell phone, and i was like, "ooh, here we go!" but then the call didn't go through :( )

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4 (she was kind of the only person paying actual attention to anything this episode)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (the amount of smoke inhalation he got both times he was in the fire probably should have killed him, tbh)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 3

Total Number of Sexually Charged and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 6 (there's so much weird tension in this episode that i can't even count it all individually)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 6

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 3 ½ (giving myself half-credit bc I knew it happened in Cape Cod, but I didn't know where Cape Cod was lol)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (not this episode, and i can also say with authority that this stat won't go up next episode either, bc next episode is mfing "Beyond the Sea" which is the topest of tiers of first season episodes. get hype!!!)

[mitigatedchaos]

Re: The 'Chillers' Discourse

(~1,200 words)

I've been asked to comment on the recent increase in the practice of parents placing their children into cryonic stasis in territories where this is legally allowed, which this emerging subculture are referring to as "pausing" the child.

The public-facing justification given is that this is essential when parents are suffering from severe physical or mental illness.

First, I'd like to address the health concerns. Cryonics as a field has advanced tremendously since the early 21st century. While opponents of this practice are horrified for moral reasons, they are blowing the potential health effects out of proportion. Several freeze-thaw cycles before age 18 is well within the acceptable limits laid out by most health authorities. Typical post-thawing symptoms are mostly nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and frequent urination, and clear within about two weeks. (This is assuming that it's a good-quality facility with competent staff. There are rumors of fly-by-night cryostorage facilities not rated for medical use engaged in the practice, but those are outside our jurisdiction.)

Second, I'm going to discuss why Orbital Operations & Planetary Security (OOPS!) are divesting our holdings of conventional murderers that were sent to lunar cryoprison by the pre-War government and shifting our focus primarily to a combination of wealthy patients and individuals convicted of crimes against humanity.

Placing someone in cryogenic suspension and then reviving them can cause acute and chronic psychological distress, as the period of time appears to pass 'instantly,' and while obviously they lose connection with current events, media, fashion trends, etc (and thus lose the context of society), they also lose connection with social contacts (who could help recontextualize). This condition, which we refer to informally as 'time shock,' is something we treat with an expensive reacclimatization period which covers the contents of the 'missing' time period and rebuilds social contacts with a pool of volunteers.

Without this therapy program, which is quite costly, a significant minority of subjects will request to go back into cryostasis, commit self-injury, or enter a prolonged period of depression. (It also accompanies a worsening of other mental health stats, including a risk of delusion. This is the 'cryo-psychosis' you've probably heard about.)

For children, this could seriously interfere with proper development. We therefore recommend that children are generally not placed into cryostasis, unless this is necessary for medical reasons, or the parent is also placed into cryostasis for some reason. (This is the official position of the OOPS cryonics branch.)

During the final phases of the war, our faction came into the possession of the previous government's unfilled mass cryoincarceration facilities. As part of strategic planning it was considered whether to use this capability to take a very large number of prisoners of war, and thus gain additional leverage during an ensuing occupation.

Due to both the practical and ethical ramifications, this decision was put to the central committee (composed of representatives of the biomechanoid officer corps) and guidance council (composed of representatives of the elders).

The real problem with cryoincarceration - and this also applies to 'chilling' children - is that it's cheap to keep prisoners on ice, but expensive to take them back out. This means that every year, the government (or parent) has the incentive to keep the prisoner on ice, and make paying to remove the prisoners the problem of the next government.

This was not a hypothetical at the time. This is how we came into the possession of so many conventional murderers and other prisoners to begin with. It was resolved to begin a 20-year drawdown, set to start at the end of the war.

Third, regarding the prisoners themselves...

There are a lot of theories on Earth about why we are getting rid of the prisoners. To go over some of these...

This is not a 'new form of warfare'. The prisoners are being delivered to prisons on Earth, not released into the general population.

If prisoners are being delivered to prisons in your territory, your government has agreed to take them. (Usually this means they were originally from your territory, unless they were previously from territory currently controlled by the World Union.)

In some cases, we may be paying your government to take the prisoners. In other cases, your government may be paying us.

None of the prisoners are from space. There is very little crime in space. (Due to the extremely contingent nature of life support, there is very little tolerance for crime in space.)

No prisoner released by this program has been deemed an "extreme escape risk."

Now, regarding the criminals we're either keeping or gathering (much smaller in number)...

Many of my colleagues have been happy to hint to outsiders that we are holding frozen criminals only until we can devise suitably awful punishments for their crimes. Many on Earth accept this without thinking about it due to our behavior during the war. While this might have some deterrent effect, this is not the reason.

Some on Earth believe we are keeping these prisoners to study them. They're apparently split on whether this is research to prevent future crimes, or to build even more terrifying human weapons. Some research is occurring, but I'm going to be honest with you - it's not very much. Most of these people are either so mundane that there's not much to learn, or so unique that nothing we learn about them usefully generalizes.

In this era, it's essentially impossible to entirely prevent a few people from going insane from ideology, or developing an ideological or psychological feedback loop with somatic capital, and exiting the normal human range of behavior (in a bad way).

However, having "defeated aging" (through somatic capital technology, even if deep rejuvenation inherently causes some pretty serious memory loss), people prefer the illusion of immortality.

When someone mounts their brain to a robotic scorpion and kills every woman in a sorority after dosing themselves with illegal neuroplasticity enhancers for over a decade, society demands that 'someone' "do something." (Even the biosocialists have this problem.)

So whenever the authorities manage to capture the perpetrator alive, they stick his brain in a rocket and blast it into outer space. "We're sending this terror to OOPS," they say, "the only group to ever successfully prosecute a sixth-generation war. Who knows what horrifying and incomprehensible things they will do to this horrible individual?"

It's about the best the non-religious ones can do.

The primary purpose of the cryoincarceration program is to preserve enough functional tissue samples of the cryoincarcerated for Earth-side governments to maintain their genomic ban on individuals convicted of crimes against humanity.

That's it. We don't plan on waking any of these people up.

Fourth, to bring it back to the 'chillers,' as their opponents have been calling them, I recently read a study out of Shanghai.

About 1,400 individuals with a child in cryonic storage for non-medical reasons were studied, and compared with 1,400 parents without children on ice as a comparison group. Hardship was only part of the study, but the researchers estimate that only about 20% of the individuals studied were experiencing hardships greater than the those typical in the comparison group.

I expect that over the next 10-20 years, laws will be changed to add more legal limits to the procedure in most (though not all) jurisdictions where it is currently legal.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFP, 26. I have a problem I don't know the origin of. (Prefacing this by saying I've always been this way but I don't want to keep pretending I can live like this anymore. It's limiting my life, the opportunities I can take and everything I could be.) So. Let's say I'm at a bar, someone jokes about something and the joke is either one of those you come up with on the spot or just a reference, a quote, a proverb - basically something people hear once and then in the right moment recall and say to make others laugh. Most people seem to have their own "mental library" with other references like that, so they're able to reply and start this ironic back and forth of puns, maybe doing wordplay or imagination games and just amusing each other until they're laughing. This happens pretty quickly and they literally have no hesitation at all. They come up with stuff, share it, bond over humor, strengthen their relationship. They have everything so neat and tidy in their heads, or so it seems to me. I don't.

First of all, I am not that fast. And this is probably not to say I'm not smart, my QI's supposed to be 135 or higher (I don't remember right now cause I took the test a while ago). It's just that my mind always feels empty (or maybe it's filled with the wrong things the entire time). I don't recall anything that quickly, it really takes me a while to even recall a name I've read online the day before, sometimes. I need to focus and it takes a lot of energy and social times are faster, nobody waits for me to come up with the words I can't recall.

Second, I don't have a mental library with references, quotes and sayings I can pick from to sound funny in conversations. It's always the same two or three, and just because I've heard them since childhood. Other people seem to constantly learn more, register more, with no limit.

I can also be pretty oblivious sometimes. For example, it's obvious to everyone that the guy is speaking in a serious tone but it's ironic - and I still think that was a serious speech.

People treat me like I'm an idiot because of this. They always have to explain things to me, even basic information about life, and they look down on me cause they can tell I don't memorize.

I struggle with memory even when it comes to learning simple notions about what interests me by myself (alone) and then recalling them in a group of people. By myself, I do just fine, I take my time and mostly remember. With other people, I end up looking ignorant about most topics cause my mind is empty. They're able to spit fun facts about this and that, even using numbers, stats, making connections - and I can't even remember the basic fact itself, even though I did read about it multiple times. Let alone stats.

Same thing happens with improvisation. During the holidays we tried a fun game where we had to improvise a funny character and everyone could instantly think of someone except me.

Someone suggested this might be autism, but I'm not sure since I've been to therapy and no one ever told me that. I can only add that I've always had a hard time making friends growing up, I used to read a lot when I was a kid and then because of bullying had a long period of depression, so I stopped enjoying my hobbies. I've just recently started feeling better after years of therapy, and I'm about to get medicated for ADHD (which it's confirmed I have).

I really wanna fix this, honestly, because it's starting to impact my mental health and I still struggle to make and keep friendships since I'm not fast enough to participate or open up. I don't feel seen because I don't express my internal world fast enough for me to actually get some screen time. In the end, people tend to gravitate around each other more and ignore me. l'm definitely gonna talk about this with my therapist once the ADHD meds process is over, but what do you suggest? Even just a little practical advice would help a lot. I'm, like, miserable. Thank you.

----------------------

While it's possible that there is a neurological explanation for this matter (such as ADHD, depression, or autism), I'm not really in a position to confirm that for you. What I can do is set aside extraneous possibilities for a moment and look only at the data as it pertains to personality type. This may or may not help you, but it could open up a door for getting one step closer to discovering the root causes.

Since this matter is directly related to the way your mind works, there should be plenty of evidence of each cognitive function in the stack doing wonky things. From there, I would normally provide some practical advice about how to use the functions more optimally.

However, in your case, I don't see the functions doing the wonky things I expect to see. Rather, there is a complete absence of certain function activity. This gives me great pause. When the description of a psychological issue doesn't align properly with the personality type someone claims to be, then the first possibility to consider is that they are mistyped. You will have to explain to me how you came to conclude you are INFP. Just so you know, it is quite common for ISFPs, ISFJs, INFJs to mistype as INFP.

Even if I were to proceed under the assumption that you are INFP in hypothetical terms, I would still struggle to think of suggestions for function development because you seem to lack the basic building blocks of Fi, Ne, and Si from which to make a start. Taking ADHD back into consideration doesn't help much, either. I've worked with a number of INFPs with ADHD and they normally suffer from unhealthy Ne, which generally presents as a mind that is too messy due to being too full - not empty - the opposite problem from yours.

I take mistypes very seriously because this blog is specifically about type development. I have experience working on type development with people, including people who were mistyped, so I can tell you that trying to develop the wrong functions can produce very negative effects. It basically means operating with a false self-image, which has the potential to damage self-esteem. It's important to exercise an abundance of caution and avoid harm. I can't in good conscience suggest things that might ultimately send you in the wrong direction.

If you would like for me to continue helping you, the first thing you need to do is submit a thorough type assessment (by following the instructions on the contact page). The process would allow me to understand exactly how your mind works and then connect how you normally use functions to this specific matter at hand. Until then, my ability to help is very limited.

I understand this matter upsets you and you want nothing more than to fit in and feel normal. But psychology can be complex and it sometimes takes many steps to unravel a problem and understand it. To help you properly, I have to be able to determine where exactly your true potential lies, which means I have to consider the possibility that your social strengths lie elsewhere. I'm not yet convinced that the INFP growth trajectory is the right path.

The only practical advice I can leave you with at this point is: Exercise more intellectual curiosity. This shouldn't be a problem if you are indeed N. Broaden your horizons by taking up more interests, seeking out new experiences, learning more about the world, caring about important causes... and gradually build a stronger foundation of knowledge. From there, you should be able to contribute better during social interactions. To put it simply, the remedy to an empty mind is to start filling it.

-----

EDIT: An anonymous reader wrote in and requested I pass along a message, which I will present without comment for OP's consideration:

Message for the maybe-INFP anon with empty mind: You're not alone, I have adhd and struggle with a similar (INFJ). Social situations move too fast for me-- a relevant joke or anecdote comes to me too late. I miss the real meaning of words, not recognising tone, irony, or implications because I process things slowly. And my memory is unreliable, so I don't recall enough info to engage. Once, I forgot what the street I lived on looked like; things don't always stick. Draining despite being "empty".

[do-you-know-this-baby]

comment: Get behind me Ciel someone get this boy a blanket, some cookies, a cup of milk…tea..? and round the clock therapy STAT

[niccho]

hihi! i’m jay i use she/they pronouns and i’m excited to plot with everyone! under the cut you can find some info about nic and below are the links to his stats and some plot bunnies (that will be added to eventually). smash that mf like button for me to slide into ur dms i promise i’m nice.

STATS - MEMORIES - PLOTS - PINTEREST - PLAYLIST

𝒊. 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 —

nic arrived to ansong around a month ago as the seasons started to change, mostly confused, a little concerned.

he does not currently remember any of his memories but he refuses to take the ring he arrived with off. even when he's throwing clay, he wears the ring on a chain around his neck. he isn't sure why, but he just knows it's important to him.

when he spotted glaaze as he was exploring ansong, nic knew that was where he wanted to work, drawn to pottery in a way that he couldn't quite explain, but he finds himself to be a patient and excellent teacher (especially since he speaks both korean and english fluently)

he can normally be found at one of the sitting areas around the apartments with a cigarette, mirage, illusion, and very infrequently, divine.

𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 —

nic is always conscious of other people, not in the way that he's concerned with what they think (most of the time) but more so in the way of if they're in need of assistance in one way or another. he's a "i can fix them" kind of guy and it's almost never romantic in intent. he collects people like stray animals and nurses them back to health. if at any point you look distressed where he can see, he will swoop in to try alleviate the situation. that being said, he does come off extremely flirty in some situations, and while he might have once meant it, these days he's flirting just to flirt. TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS in life, nic abused substances in lieu of therapy (which he definitely needed, but that's neither here nor there) and in ansong he finds himself falling into the same habits. it's not uncommon for him to toke up in his apartment, or to be found outside with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. he's a frequent flyer to bars and nightclubs and always with a drink in hand. nic is incredibly emotionally intelligent (we get it, fix-it-felix) and while he's the first one to rush to someone's aid, he has no qualms fucking right off if someone sets a boundary with him. he's very respectful of people and their wishes and he doesn't want to intentionally upset anyone if he can help it. this means he tends to ignore his own problems, but that's his own business okay!!! tl;dr: nic loves u and he's a loser about it. but if you need a good smoke sesh or cigarette to calm down and to talk it out, he's your guy. just don't ask to fix his problems in return, he won't let you.

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒔 —

to preface everything below, i'm v v big on chemistry first. i love plotting, but it doesn't necessarily work if our characters don't have chemistry to begin with. i tend to lead with quick and fast plotting to see what we can get our characters to do and then we can go into more detailed plotting after, but i'm always willing to discuss things regardless!! TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS

people interested in pottery (coworkers or people looking to learn!)

anyone entrenched in ansong nightlife (party people aye)

smoking buddies!! (nicotine AND thc)

people in need of a solid father figure to give them unconditional love (pls let nic adopt everyone thank u, he would be so happy)

honestly, literally anything else just shoot me a message and we can chat!!

[sarahwyland]

"You’re a grown woman. Why are you writing fan fiction about someone else’s characters instead of your own stuff? It’s immature."

Someone DM'd me this last week when I shared I'm writing a full-length 'Fourth Wing' fanfiction. My initial reaction was, of course, to crack my knuckles and go all "good southern girl" on them. Meaning, politely rip them a new one. Then I calmed down and sent an *actual* polite reply. Because I get it. An adult writing "fan fiction" might seem silly or childish to some. It's not to me, and here's why I do it. 

1) It makes me a better writer. You get better at something by doing more reps of it and writing fan fiction alongside my original work is more reps. It's also a great way for me to really dive into understanding character development, world-building, and plot points. 

2) It helps my anxiety. I have general anxiety disorder, and writing helps. I journal a lot, but I also write fictional stories, my own and those based on characters and worlds created by someone else. Escaping into a fictional reality helps me maneuver my own reality and very often, I find I work my issues out through my characters. Everyone navigates anxiety differently. This is one of my ways. 

3) I want to. And as a grown woman, I'm allowed to. And people seem to like it based on the comments and stats, so I guess I'm doing okay at it.

And you know what? A comment like this would have once made me shy away from continuing to share my work. I've left a couple of pieces unfinished over the years because of mean people. These days? I've learned I get to make choices, including how I respond to folks who are probably unhappy in their day-to-day life, so they have to come for someone on the internet. We call that growth in my therapy sessions. 

Since I'm here and I'm talking about it, you can read my Fourth Wing fanfic, 'Spotless,' here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49875790/chapters/125909254

[pretttydemonwrites]

2024 Year in Review

Surprise! I'm not dead!

Despite my lack in updates on here, I have still been keeping up with my writing log, and even though technically 2024 isn't over just yet, I don't plan on writing anything today so I don't feel bad calling it a handful of hours early. So, without further ado, here's a graph:

This year was like...physical therapy almost. My writing muscles were atrophied from disuse and I had to work at getting them back into shape. Some days were better than others; some days I felt like I could write forever and only the need to sleep would stop me. Other days, I stared at a blank document wondering if there was a point to any of this.

Back when I was a teenager, the first time I did NaNoWriMo I accomplished the goal of writing 50k in a month. It was a challenge, to be sure, but I also remember being able to do it without really stressing or thinking about it too hard. I would do whatever I could to get my word goal met for the day. I also removed every goddamn contraction that I could just to get those few extra words in, but still. I wrote fifty thousand words! In a month! That's insane!

Now, obviously, this is vastly different. In a year, I managed to get a little over sixty thousand. I can't help but compare the two situations, but I know that overall I'm still incredibly proud of what I managed to accomplish. Again, this is me trying to get back into doing the thing that used to consume my every waking moment when I was younger. I just wanted to learn to love writing again, and I think I made good progress on that. I hope that with this coming year I'm able to do even better, or at least still maintain my love for writing.

I think one of the things that helped me the most was getting back into text roleplay with friends. Having someone to bounce off of gave me material to work with and allowed me to flex those muscles without also having to come up with plot entirely on my own. In fact, a vast majority of my word count comes from various roleplay threads! I would like to work more on individual stuff this next year, but I also don't plan to neglect said roleplays because they're a source of great fun and inspiration for me.

I don't want to drone on too long about this, but I will give some more fun stats just in case anyone is curious!

On average, I wrote:

1,223 words per week

173 words per day

The most words I wrote in a single day was 1,870 on November 14th.

November was also the month with the highest word count at 12,012.

Out of 366 days (on account of it being a leap year) I wrote something on 160 days, approximately 43.8% of the year.

To everyone who followed this journey, who offered encouragement, who wrote with me, and everything in between, thank you again. I hope you'll continue to be interested, and I will try and include a goal to actually share some of my writing this year with you all.

No promises, because I'm terrified of criticism still, but we'll see!

Happy New Year!

[outlcws]

my intros for my clowns will be divided into present-day / fun facts & a background portion. if you’re not interested in reading the background, you can skip it! trigger warnings will be listed before the background portion.

❀ *◦ lisa manoban. genderfluid. she/they/any. homosexual homoromantic. ⇝ hey, isn’t that bandit vaddhana? i think that the thirty year old from new orleans, louisiana works as burlesque dancer at sweet cheeks cabaret & burlesque lounge, but outside of that people describe them as black cherry lipstick, leaving the landline hanging by the cord, voluminous updo 80s hairstyle, lucky fuzzy dice hanging from a rearview mirror, slot machines pinging and lighting up when you hit the jackpot, hair rollers, pink acrylics, fingertips stained with glitter, heart chokers. i hear they are vainglorious & obsessive, but they are also known to be gregarious & staunch. consider giving them a visit at their home in the marionette and get to know why they’re called the casquette girl.

PIN BOARD. / STATS.

GENDERFLUID, anything goes

PRESENT-DAY:

pink explosion in the wardrobe, and if she's not sporting pink or something glittery, she's into otherwise bright colors

her signature haircut is a black bob with platinum blonde hair on the underside layer, but in her burlesque persona, she wears a long, sandy blonde wig that's blow-dried meticulously into a loud 80s updo

big time dolly parton fan. how many times has she been to dollyworld? tbh who keeps track anymore. anyone who's been friends with her for a tenable amount of time has probably been dragged along for the ride

lots of confidence, for miles. very "i love you but i love me more" personality type. will gloat about her work in burlesque and her big boob job freely. there is nothing shameful about herself or anything worth hiding, at least on the outside

on the inside... well, that's a different story. she's been stuck in a cycle of manic and mixed episodes with major crash outs for the past ten or twelve years and she's determined to refuse therapy until she dies because being zombified on lithium was so boring. she's got a gambling and shopping addiction that's grown to be detrimental to her own survival

her roommate is bernadette lim, and while we're at her list of transgressions, bandit is the signed leaser to the apartment and hasn't paid her bills to the point of eviction notices, because all the money went to gambling. but nobody knows that. yet

drives a 1959 pink cadillac and she would fall to her knees in the rabbit hole parking lot if someone ever keyed her precious baby

her alter ego at the lounge goes by zelie lace

BACKGROUND!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: psychosis, mental illness, addiction, implied homophobia

you were the family gem: the first-generation american in your family to dig worms out of the soil in new orleans. as your parents only child, they set you up for the greatest failure that a parent can: expectations

you were pushed into the gifted classes, you excelled at reading and mathematics, you even won third place at the local science fair as a middle schooler with braces. kids in your class didn't pronounce your name right, and the judges didn't either, but to be frank, you didn't give a flying fuck because you were you and you loved to win

other than parents with a high opinion of their child and a little light ribbing from classmates, your childhood was relatively normal, there was really nothing to speak of. so what went wrong? well, if she had answers to that, she'd have enough money to solve all her problems

graduating at the top of your class, you were inducted into a university in the great city of NOLA with a full ride and a concentration in pre-law. you had plans to be this kick-ass lawyer and take names, too bad you couldn't handle the pressure

funny you should mention it, because the gifted kid burnout led to some interesting choices in bandit's college years. sneaking out, paying adults to buy you alcohol, hooking up with classmates, she made it all the way to the last semester when she blew it at twenty-two. her very first manic episode

she couldn't tell you the day it happened, or anything that came next until the episode spiraled out to an end. fourteen months later, the lights flickered in the restaurant she was dining at and she got up and walked home on autopilot, to a husband she didn't remember marrying who had moved her away from the city, isolated her from her family, and she'd vacated university without properly dropping out, accruing an unpleasant amount of debt for a semester she didn't finished

mortified and hopeless, she called for her parents to collect her. they wouldn't, after the sheer amount of letters and phone calls about debts unpaid, disgraced by their daughter fleeing university with no honor at all. it devastated her

a few months down the line, trapped in a shiny new apartment she hated with her shiny new husband who took advantage of how out of control she was, she ran out onto a highway and was nearly struck by a car as she suffered from paranoid delusions that he was out to kill her

with the help of a friend after the incident, she was able to pack her things and leave new orleans to come back with them to anchorage, where she started fresh and had a liaison serve the divorce papers

the stress of moving sent her spiraling into another manic episode, in the midst of which, she walked into joker's casino and lured by the slots, she became obsessed with the off-chance of winning and blew the last money in her account on it

living with a man she had no recollection of marrying had its perks: her credit score was good enough to land an apartment in the marionette all to herself, but once her off-days from work at the sweet cheeks lounge became consumed by sitting in front of the machines at casinos in recent months, she's fallen behind on paying the rent. way behind

it was after the trauma that her first episode caused and some fooling around that she came to terms with her sexuality, and she's never had a problem owning who she is in any sense of the word, although she does wonder if it means she's lost all chance of winning her parents back over as she does miss them dearly

[thistlecatfics]

Thistlecat's Ao3 Wrapped! Featuring stats, reflections, and goals for 2025

(graphic design is not my passion but boy do I get sucked into Canva when I get an idea I don't have the skill to execute)

Kudos: 730 Comment Threads: 113 Bookmarks: 220 Word Count: 81,183 Hits: 14,697

Total Fics: 11 M/M: 8 F/F: 2 Gen: 1

As someone who mostly (though not this year) writes femslash, stats are so wild to me because it's like... oh I can just throw together some slash pwp and it gets 20x the hits of a femslash piece I labored over for months. Anyway!

My goal this year was to post 100k words, and I got close with 80k, significantly more than my writing output last year which was 40k. My first two years of writing fic I managed 150k each year, but that was with the help of regularly drinking a bottle of wine by myself each night when writing, something I stopped doing for obvious reasons.

Top Fics by Hits:

what if he’s written “Mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind? (1k, E, Sirius/Regulus)

Oh Golden Boy, Don’t Act Like You Were Kind (9k, E, Sirius/Regulus/James)

Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call (25k, E, Sirius/Regulus)

Waxing Gibbous, October 1981 (6k, E, Remus/Sirius & Remus/Fenrir)

Instructions for a Stable Boy (600 words, E, Remus/Sirius/OMC)

My Personal Top Five:

Waxing Gibbous, October 1981

Bellatrix Black: An Elegy (5k, E, Bellatrix/Andromeda, Bellatrix/others)

Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call

Andromeda in Bello (30k WIP, M, Andromeda/Ted)

Basiationes Non Latebrosae (the wolfstar Latin fic)

Proudest Writing and Fandom Accomplishments of 2024:

my 'Talking about Incest in Public' essay

I wrote a fic in Latin!

really using fic as a space to process some of the darkest parts of my experience and psyche that I was scared to touch only a few years ago

I enormously enjoyed writing at times

Friendships <3

Writing and Fandom Goals for 2025:

Take part in a gift exchange. I didn't do one this year, and I love them!

Three more chapters of Andromeda Liberata, my poor neglected longfic

Run Blackcest Fest again & maybe even create a discord server for the fest

Complete the full 12 weeks of The Artist's Way

Be louder and angrier about being a lesbian and being a feminist. I've been treating a lot of subtle misogyny and anti-lesbian sentiment on tumblr and on discord servers as annoying internet discourse and not worth engaging in, but I think it's actually worth intervening against, given the larger patriarchal backsliding that's happening.

Begin a writing project looking at incest from the clinical/therapeutic lens. Even in the trauma therapy field, it's a pretty neglected subject. I'm not sure if this will turn into an anonymous blog or a thesis if I ever go back to get my doctorate or a book, but I'm feeling very compelled to engage in the subject as a survivor and as a clinician. I think writing fiction has really created space in my mind to write nonfiction.

Keep being weird. keep exploring the darkness. keep getting braver and braver every year.

[manycrows]

DSM 5E in my brain like some sorta gijinkafied 2014 white guys. I should name them stuff and pretend to be Harry Dubois for the purposes of Posting without Diagnoses

The guys so far:

Impulse: ADHD voice. Sir, we haven’t had a crumb of serotonin in 20 mins permission to kill self?

Pattern: this is the way it has been and the way it will continue to be. We have to turn off music when someone else enters the house Or Else

Sensory Input: yes, we like these colors. Use them for something WAIT NO STOP THAT NOISE. CUT IT OUT.

Hedonism (SSRI activated): you have to stay alive so you can drink a beer by the lake

Maternal Line: patience and the world will be okay. Also kill people with your brain

Mary Sue: your mutuals are going to see this post and empathize, which is good because you are the main character

Masculine Urges Gender Balance (Libra?): looking 87% female today… mx. if we want to earn “mister” status today, we should challenge the authority of the next guy we see.

Engineering Degree: we are qualified to make this post due to being Smart

Edit to add:

The Poster: here’s a series of serious thoughts. But if we write them like this it becomes a Post.

Intrusive Echo: Lana Del Rey Amongus Parody “Sussy Time Sadness”

Warrior’s Aura: 32% chance of getting attacked from behind Right Now (incorrect). Response of either thrusting back kick or suplex required. We can use the curtain rod as a makeshift weapon as well

Hive of Therapy: Writing this post seems exceedingly mentally ill. However, you might just be experiencing normal thoughts. Best be careful, but not take things too easy.

Peripheral Vision: !ALERT! 3 TIMELINES TO THE LEFT, WE GOT HIT BY A CAR RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

Constellation: Hey this reminds me of a completely unrelated thing

Tantrum: What can we say here that would piss everyone off the most

INT: 5/6

PSY: 6/6

FYS: 5/6

MOT: I think these are shared between everyone so I don’t have to make new stats for that

[mswyrr]

“fixing” is actually a double-edged sword

The most discussed problem is the dynamics of who is obligated to care for who in terms of social privilege and power and also--even if, say, it’s a same gender couple--the harm of one person feeling they have to do that for another generally. That is important to discuss and covered quite a bit; I’ve pointed out my pov on the nuances of it here. (EDIT and I’ve updated with some “fixee” pov stuff here).

But “fixing him/her/them” is also bad for the “him/her/them”. It’s potentially dangerous and harmful to the person “being fixed”.

Being an amateur and poking around in someone's trauma and mental illness can actually  make things worse for them - it can cause real harm to someone. Even trained therapists can make things worse for someone by accident. It’s a known risk of therapy.

And this is (lol I’ve been trying not to say this for weeks!!) why I find C/laire kind of personally disquieting tbqh. Playing  therapist without a license on someone is kinda messed up! It's not just that women  "fixing" men is anti-feminist - that is true - it's that a non-professional using a  personal relationship to fiddle around in someone's head is also messed.  up and, frankly, dangerous.

I’m not “anti” her as a character - all the characters are flawed, this is a dynamic people fall into for various reasons, it’s as understandable a flaw/mistake as any of the things the other characters do. But there’s a ton of discussion of how it’s unfair to the “fixer” - but not really any about how unfair and potentially dangerous it is to the “fixee.” (Imo cultural ableism plays into why the violence toward the “fixee” is rarely (if ever?) discussed as a problem: neurodivergent people are often considered, by default, as problems to be solved rather than people, so the way it’s dangerous and harmful to a “fixee” is just - erased/ignored. The attitude is that they should be grateful a normal, healthy person is bothering themselves at all to be so generous as to try to “fix” them!). And she gets treated like she’s made of sweetness and light, and not deeply flawed, when what I saw of her was -- deeply flawed, like the rest of the characters.

I’m sorry but this is, in fact, a way that neurotypical partners can abuse neurodivergent people 🤷‍♀️ (shall I quote the stats on the high risk mentally ill people are at for being abused????? And how the (false!) idea that mentally ill people are more likely to be abusers plays into the culture around that?) all while coming across like a selfless hero to other neurotypicals for being willing to “fix” this “broken” person -- and yet how often is it ever discussed that that can be part of it??

I don’t think she was consciously doing it. But it’s dangerous even if not done intentionally abusively and some people do it to abuse on purpose. And they have so much room to cloak their behavior because of how the narrative of the double-sided nature of this isn’t widely discussed.

I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way precisely as a character - but IMO part of why she’s part of what gives Carmy a panic attack is that he interpreted her as wanting him to perform/share being unwell with her and then--after she said platitudes like “nobody’s counting shoes”--perform being all better and “fixed” for her.

That’s an incredibly draining performance to feel you have to give.

[soaps-mohawk]

i did warn you XD my writing friends have come to fear and love it when i say "i can make it worse". it's my one warning before wrecking their worlds. but no, if it's ever anything too bad, i'll make sure i have everyone's permission before saying the angsty ideas.

i am glad that everyone will be ok, but nightmares are a great way to get some angst in, if you wanted to xD

no, but for real, i love your writing, i love this world you've put together, and your writing has made me fall for these 141 boys (so much so that i actually went and watched some no-commentary playthroughs of all three games) i hope that you have a lovely time, whatever the time may be, and that you take care of yourself- while i eagerly await your next update and tide myself over with your wonderful asks/answers

- crow anon

Yeah, I'm starting to understand that 😂 no but I love a good nightmare. We've already seen that with Simon lol nightmares are so great for showcasing someone's worst fears in a way that doesn't hurt them, at least physically, but still brings forth that trauma and terror.

The way Ghost probably has nightmares about all of them. There's probably moments real or made up where something goes wrong, something changes, someone's face changes, and poor baby Ghost is getting his world turned upside down. 😭 someone get that man in some therapy stat.

Thank you 🥹 I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic so far. I'm excited for this next chapter and I can't wait to get it finished up and posted 💚

[neonmetro]

OMG AISHIRE MY BABY ???? 😭😭😭😭 I feel so bad for him ngl. . .LIKE I WILL PROTECT YOU OMG 😭😭😭😭 does she ever get the time to like, ever let out his emotions ??? I know suppressing them for a REALLY long time can lead to some very interesting actions ( like when She's overworked ). And because of everything that's happened and his extreme paranoia, has he hallucinated or hallucinates often ??? And building robots literally being his coping mechanism ??? GDHDJDJFUJF😭💞😭💞💞😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 I WILL LITERALLY PROTECT YOU AT ALL COSTS AISHIRE ( silly )

I can also see why she's my favorite corphead now...🙏🏽 she's such an interesting character, and the things that drive her to do the things that she does are so interesting. Someone get my baby a hug and some therapy STAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

-paris anon

!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!!!

aishire has got so many issues and they only have gotten worse with time, she doesn't really even let them out healthily, its usually only through destroying her own robots in a fit of rage if they aren't turning out like she wants them to turn out or chewing his thumb or scratching head until he bleeds

HE DEFINITELY HAS MET THE HORRORS FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND INSOMNIA AND HE JUST KINDA SITS THERE TRYING REAAAAL HARD TO IGNORE THEM before trying to throw shit at them to get them to leave them alone (its usually a hallucination of bezaliel)

with the death of bezaliel came with the death of a lot of good things in her life I think. she just killed one of the largest pieces of her life and now she only has one of her closest friends

SHE NEEDS SEVERE THERAPY AND HER THERAPIST WILL NEED A THERAPIST AFTER EVERY SESSION