#SOMEONE GET THEM SOME THERAPY STAT

[phantasiiae]

When all of this is over, I will be surprised if I am still living.

Dion doesn't say that out loud, though, instead offering Joshua a small smile and giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm sure we will. Sanbreque is in need of an emperor now, and...while I don't see myself entirely worthy, I suppose I'll have to take my place eventually," he murmurs, his brow furrowing. It's easier to pretend that he intends on having some kind of future instead of acknowledging that he doesn't plan on returning.

"I would like you to remain in my life. We were apart for far too long, I think," he muses, laughing softly and then sighing. "It means everything to me, being your friend."

Joshua offers a small smile, though it faded beneath the heavy emotions that hung in the air between them. There was so much more he could have done for Dion, to save him from his Mother's awful schemes... He should have been quicker in Twinside. Eighteen years of recovery and hiding in the shadows and allowing thing to become this bad...

When Dion's hand came to rest on his, Joshua looked down and simply studied the shape of Dion's hand. "I am glad that I could be helpful to you. I hope I can continue to be so."

"When all of this is over, I'm sure we will remain close friends."

[quietwingsinthesky]

oh my god even doesn’t know how to write

[drunktuesdays]

everyone is fucking but no one is horny

one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.

and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.

but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E12: Fire

Case: An incel played by Mark Sheppard is lighting people (and things, but we're more concerned about the people) on fire, and they can't figure out how he's doing it. This case is brought to Mulder's attention by his toxic British ex, Phoebe (who, as far as Mulder's exes go, is way more charismatic than Fowley so -shrug emoji-), and the two of them go off to Massachusetts to stop some rich British people from being barbecued. Half the people in this episode are weirdly horny, especially the fire expert guy at the Bureau who sounds like he's in the process of getting off when he describes pictures of fire. Mark Sheppard kicks a dog. Mulder literally says the words, "That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants—you rarely get to press charges," so at least they're self-aware. Also, he's terrified of fire and apparently "cursed" with a photographic memory—I'm pretty sure neither of these things ever come up again. Meanwhile, the only person doing any actual FBI work is Scully. Thank god for her.

Does someone die in the cold open: Ah, yeah. Death by psychic immolation. Not the nicest way to go.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No, but he does get practical joked into thinking he's about to die in a car bombing. Take note, Youtube pranksters.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: The most damning evidence is Incel Mark Sheppard himself, and while he's definitely a little crispy, he makes it to the end.

Whodunit: Incel Mark Sheppard

Convictions: Incel Mark Sheppard will face prosecution once he's done applying aloe to his burns. They are kind of not sure how to do that given that he can light literally anything flammable on fire with his mind. If it was 2024 they'd just do a Zoom call, but alas.

Did they solve it: Yes!

[how do i determine if an episode is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Forced exposure therapy.

Do you need to suffer from a convenient phobia that is relevant to your current situation in order to provide suspense to your plotline, but you also don't want to have to ever bring it up again in your general narrative arc as a whole? Get rid of it quick with forced exposure therapy!

Forced exposure therapy works by having you speedrun the entire therapy process by putting you in a life or death scenario where you have no choice but to face your fears. Tired of being afraid? Well throw yourself into that burning building and learn to become brave, once and for all!*

*Forced exposure therapy may worsen phobias in some individuals, potentially resulting in the development of moderate to severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Do not put yourself into life or death scenarios without first speaking to your doctor to see if forced exposure therapy is right for you.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 5 (that's two in a row! new best streak!!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1 (oh man, we were so close two different times. first one Scully goes, "Mulder, it's Scully," and i was like, "damn," and then later she started calling him on her gigantic black box cell phone, and i was like, "ooh, here we go!" but then the call didn't go through :( )

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4 (she was kind of the only person paying actual attention to anything this episode)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (the amount of smoke inhalation he got both times he was in the fire probably should have killed him, tbh)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 3

Total Number of Sexually Charged and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 6 (there's so much weird tension in this episode that i can't even count it all individually)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 6

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 1

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 3 ½ (giving myself half-credit bc I knew it happened in Cape Cod, but I didn't know where Cape Cod was lol)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (not this episode, and i can also say with authority that this stat won't go up next episode either, bc next episode is mfing "Beyond the Sea" which is the topest of tiers of first season episodes. get hype!!!)

[mitigatedchaos]

Re: The 'Chillers' Discourse

(~1,200 words)

I've been asked to comment on the recent increase in the practice of parents placing their children into cryonic stasis in territories where this is legally allowed, which this emerging subculture are referring to as "pausing" the child.

The public-facing justification given is that this is essential when parents are suffering from severe physical or mental illness.

First, I'd like to address the health concerns. Cryonics as a field has advanced tremendously since the early 21st century. While opponents of this practice are horrified for moral reasons, they are blowing the potential health effects out of proportion. Several freeze-thaw cycles before age 18 is well within the acceptable limits laid out by most health authorities. Typical post-thawing symptoms are mostly nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and frequent urination, and clear within about two weeks. (This is assuming that it's a good-quality facility with competent staff. There are rumors of fly-by-night cryostorage facilities not rated for medical use engaged in the practice, but those are outside our jurisdiction.)

Second, I'm going to discuss why Orbital Operations & Planetary Security (OOPS!) are divesting our holdings of conventional murderers that were sent to lunar cryoprison by the pre-War government and shifting our focus primarily to a combination of wealthy patients and individuals convicted of crimes against humanity.

Placing someone in cryogenic suspension and then reviving them can cause acute and chronic psychological distress, as the period of time appears to pass 'instantly,' and while obviously they lose connection with current events, media, fashion trends, etc (and thus lose the context of society), they also lose connection with social contacts (who could help recontextualize). This condition, which we refer to informally as 'time shock,' is something we treat with an expensive reacclimatization period which covers the contents of the 'missing' time period and rebuilds social contacts with a pool of volunteers.

Without this therapy program, which is quite costly, a significant minority of subjects will request to go back into cryostasis, commit self-injury, or enter a prolonged period of depression. (It also accompanies a worsening of other mental health stats, including a risk of delusion. This is the 'cryo-psychosis' you've probably heard about.)

For children, this could seriously interfere with proper development. We therefore recommend that children are generally not placed into cryostasis, unless this is necessary for medical reasons, or the parent is also placed into cryostasis for some reason. (This is the official position of the OOPS cryonics branch.)

During the final phases of the war, our faction came into the possession of the previous government's unfilled mass cryoincarceration facilities. As part of strategic planning it was considered whether to use this capability to take a very large number of prisoners of war, and thus gain additional leverage during an ensuing occupation.

Due to both the practical and ethical ramifications, this decision was put to the central committee (composed of representatives of the biomechanoid officer corps) and guidance council (composed of representatives of the elders).

The real problem with cryoincarceration - and this also applies to 'chilling' children - is that it's cheap to keep prisoners on ice, but expensive to take them back out. This means that every year, the government (or parent) has the incentive to keep the prisoner on ice, and make paying to remove the prisoners the problem of the next government.

This was not a hypothetical at the time. This is how we came into the possession of so many conventional murderers and other prisoners to begin with. It was resolved to begin a 20-year drawdown, set to start at the end of the war.

Third, regarding the prisoners themselves...

There are a lot of theories on Earth about why we are getting rid of the prisoners. To go over some of these...

This is not a 'new form of warfare'. The prisoners are being delivered to prisons on Earth, not released into the general population.

If prisoners are being delivered to prisons in your territory, your government has agreed to take them. (Usually this means they were originally from your territory, unless they were previously from territory currently controlled by the World Union.)

In some cases, we may be paying your government to take the prisoners. In other cases, your government may be paying us.

None of the prisoners are from space. There is very little crime in space. (Due to the extremely contingent nature of life support, there is very little tolerance for crime in space.)

No prisoner released by this program has been deemed an "extreme escape risk."

Now, regarding the criminals we're either keeping or gathering (much smaller in number)...

Many of my colleagues have been happy to hint to outsiders that we are holding frozen criminals only until we can devise suitably awful punishments for their crimes. Many on Earth accept this without thinking about it due to our behavior during the war. While this might have some deterrent effect, this is not the reason.

Some on Earth believe we are keeping these prisoners to study them. They're apparently split on whether this is research to prevent future crimes, or to build even more terrifying human weapons. Some research is occurring, but I'm going to be honest with you - it's not very much. Most of these people are either so mundane that there's not much to learn, or so unique that nothing we learn about them usefully generalizes.

In this era, it's essentially impossible to entirely prevent a few people from going insane from ideology, or developing an ideological or psychological feedback loop with somatic capital, and exiting the normal human range of behavior (in a bad way).

However, having "defeated aging" (through somatic capital technology, even if deep rejuvenation inherently causes some pretty serious memory loss), people prefer the illusion of immortality.

When someone mounts their brain to a robotic scorpion and kills every woman in a sorority after dosing themselves with illegal neuroplasticity enhancers for over a decade, society demands that 'someone' "do something." (Even the biosocialists have this problem.)

So whenever the authorities manage to capture the perpetrator alive, they stick his brain in a rocket and blast it into outer space. "We're sending this terror to OOPS," they say, "the only group to ever successfully prosecute a sixth-generation war. Who knows what horrifying and incomprehensible things they will do to this horrible individual?"

It's about the best the non-religious ones can do.

The primary purpose of the cryoincarceration program is to preserve enough functional tissue samples of the cryoincarcerated for Earth-side governments to maintain their genomic ban on individuals convicted of crimes against humanity.

That's it. We don't plan on waking any of these people up.

Fourth, to bring it back to the 'chillers,' as their opponents have been calling them, I recently read a study out of Shanghai.

About 1,400 individuals with a child in cryonic storage for non-medical reasons were studied, and compared with 1,400 parents without children on ice as a comparison group. Hardship was only part of the study, but the researchers estimate that only about 20% of the individuals studied were experiencing hardships greater than the those typical in the comparison group.

I expect that over the next 10-20 years, laws will be changed to add more legal limits to the procedure in most (though not all) jurisdictions where it is currently legal.

[do-you-know-this-baby]

comment: Get behind me Ciel someone get this boy a blanket, some cookies, a cup of milk…tea..? and round the clock therapy STAT

[niccho]

hihi! i’m jay i use she/they pronouns and i’m excited to plot with everyone! under the cut you can find some info about nic and below are the links to his stats and some plot bunnies (that will be added to eventually). smash that mf like button for me to slide into ur dms i promise i’m nice.

STATS - MEMORIES - PLOTS - PINTEREST - PLAYLIST

𝒊. 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 —

nic arrived to ansong around a month ago as the seasons started to change, mostly confused, a little concerned.

he does not currently remember any of his memories but he refuses to take the ring he arrived with off. even when he's throwing clay, he wears the ring on a chain around his neck. he isn't sure why, but he just knows it's important to him.

when he spotted glaaze as he was exploring ansong, nic knew that was where he wanted to work, drawn to pottery in a way that he couldn't quite explain, but he finds himself to be a patient and excellent teacher (especially since he speaks both korean and english fluently)

he can normally be found at one of the sitting areas around the apartments with a cigarette, mirage, illusion, and very infrequently, divine.

𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 —

nic is always conscious of other people, not in the way that he's concerned with what they think (most of the time) but more so in the way of if they're in need of assistance in one way or another. he's a "i can fix them" kind of guy and it's almost never romantic in intent. he collects people like stray animals and nurses them back to health. if at any point you look distressed where he can see, he will swoop in to try alleviate the situation. that being said, he does come off extremely flirty in some situations, and while he might have once meant it, these days he's flirting just to flirt. TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS in life, nic abused substances in lieu of therapy (which he definitely needed, but that's neither here nor there) and in ansong he finds himself falling into the same habits. it's not uncommon for him to toke up in his apartment, or to be found outside with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. he's a frequent flyer to bars and nightclubs and always with a drink in hand. nic is incredibly emotionally intelligent (we get it, fix-it-felix) and while he's the first one to rush to someone's aid, he has no qualms fucking right off if someone sets a boundary with him. he's very respectful of people and their wishes and he doesn't want to intentionally upset anyone if he can help it. this means he tends to ignore his own problems, but that's his own business okay!!! tl;dr: nic loves u and he's a loser about it. but if you need a good smoke sesh or cigarette to calm down and to talk it out, he's your guy. just don't ask to fix his problems in return, he won't let you.

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒔 —

to preface everything below, i'm v v big on chemistry first. i love plotting, but it doesn't necessarily work if our characters don't have chemistry to begin with. i tend to lead with quick and fast plotting to see what we can get our characters to do and then we can go into more detailed plotting after, but i'm always willing to discuss things regardless!! TW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DRUGS

people interested in pottery (coworkers or people looking to learn!)

anyone entrenched in ansong nightlife (party people aye)

smoking buddies!! (nicotine AND thc)

people in need of a solid father figure to give them unconditional love (pls let nic adopt everyone thank u, he would be so happy)

honestly, literally anything else just shoot me a message and we can chat!!

[sarahwyland]

"You’re a grown woman. Why are you writing fan fiction about someone else’s characters instead of your own stuff? It’s immature."

Someone DM'd me this last week when I shared I'm writing a full-length 'Fourth Wing' fanfiction. My initial reaction was, of course, to crack my knuckles and go all "good southern girl" on them. Meaning, politely rip them a new one. Then I calmed down and sent an *actual* polite reply. Because I get it. An adult writing "fan fiction" might seem silly or childish to some. It's not to me, and here's why I do it. 

1) It makes me a better writer. You get better at something by doing more reps of it and writing fan fiction alongside my original work is more reps. It's also a great way for me to really dive into understanding character development, world-building, and plot points. 

2) It helps my anxiety. I have general anxiety disorder, and writing helps. I journal a lot, but I also write fictional stories, my own and those based on characters and worlds created by someone else. Escaping into a fictional reality helps me maneuver my own reality and very often, I find I work my issues out through my characters. Everyone navigates anxiety differently. This is one of my ways. 

3) I want to. And as a grown woman, I'm allowed to. And people seem to like it based on the comments and stats, so I guess I'm doing okay at it.

And you know what? A comment like this would have once made me shy away from continuing to share my work. I've left a couple of pieces unfinished over the years because of mean people. These days? I've learned I get to make choices, including how I respond to folks who are probably unhappy in their day-to-day life, so they have to come for someone on the internet. We call that growth in my therapy sessions. 

Since I'm here and I'm talking about it, you can read my Fourth Wing fanfic, 'Spotless,' here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49875790/chapters/125909254

[mswyrr]

“fixing” is actually a double-edged sword

The most discussed problem is the dynamics of who is obligated to care for who in terms of social privilege and power and also--even if, say, it’s a same gender couple--the harm of one person feeling they have to do that for another generally. That is important to discuss and covered quite a bit; I’ve pointed out my pov on the nuances of it here. (EDIT and I’ve updated with some “fixee” pov stuff here).

But “fixing him/her/them” is also bad for the “him/her/them”. It’s potentially dangerous and harmful to the person “being fixed”.

Being an amateur and poking around in someone's trauma and mental illness can actually  make things worse for them - it can cause real harm to someone. Even trained therapists can make things worse for someone by accident. It’s a known risk of therapy.

And this is (lol I’ve been trying not to say this for weeks!!) why I find C/laire kind of personally disquieting tbqh. Playing  therapist without a license on someone is kinda messed up! It's not just that women  "fixing" men is anti-feminist - that is true - it's that a non-professional using a  personal relationship to fiddle around in someone's head is also messed.  up and, frankly, dangerous.

I’m not “anti” her as a character - all the characters are flawed, this is a dynamic people fall into for various reasons, it’s as understandable a flaw/mistake as any of the things the other characters do. But there’s a ton of discussion of how it’s unfair to the “fixer” - but not really any about how unfair and potentially dangerous it is to the “fixee.” (Imo cultural ableism plays into why the violence toward the “fixee” is rarely (if ever?) discussed as a problem: neurodivergent people are often considered, by default, as problems to be solved rather than people, so the way it’s dangerous and harmful to a “fixee” is just - erased/ignored. The attitude is that they should be grateful a normal, healthy person is bothering themselves at all to be so generous as to try to “fix” them!). And she gets treated like she’s made of sweetness and light, and not deeply flawed, when what I saw of her was -- deeply flawed, like the rest of the characters.

I’m sorry but this is, in fact, a way that neurotypical partners can abuse neurodivergent people 🤷‍♀️ (shall I quote the stats on the high risk mentally ill people are at for being abused????? And how the (false!) idea that mentally ill people are more likely to be abusers plays into the culture around that?) all while coming across like a selfless hero to other neurotypicals for being willing to “fix” this “broken” person -- and yet how often is it ever discussed that that can be part of it??

I don’t think she was consciously doing it. But it’s dangerous even if not done intentionally abusively and some people do it to abuse on purpose. And they have so much room to cloak their behavior because of how the narrative of the double-sided nature of this isn’t widely discussed.

I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way precisely as a character - but IMO part of why she’s part of what gives Carmy a panic attack is that he interpreted her as wanting him to perform/share being unwell with her and then--after she said platitudes like “nobody’s counting shoes”--perform being all better and “fixed” for her.

That’s an incredibly draining performance to feel you have to give.

[soaps-mohawk]

i did warn you XD my writing friends have come to fear and love it when i say "i can make it worse". it's my one warning before wrecking their worlds. but no, if it's ever anything too bad, i'll make sure i have everyone's permission before saying the angsty ideas.

i am glad that everyone will be ok, but nightmares are a great way to get some angst in, if you wanted to xD

no, but for real, i love your writing, i love this world you've put together, and your writing has made me fall for these 141 boys (so much so that i actually went and watched some no-commentary playthroughs of all three games) i hope that you have a lovely time, whatever the time may be, and that you take care of yourself- while i eagerly await your next update and tide myself over with your wonderful asks/answers

- crow anon

Yeah, I'm starting to understand that 😂 no but I love a good nightmare. We've already seen that with Simon lol nightmares are so great for showcasing someone's worst fears in a way that doesn't hurt them, at least physically, but still brings forth that trauma and terror.

The way Ghost probably has nightmares about all of them. There's probably moments real or made up where something goes wrong, something changes, someone's face changes, and poor baby Ghost is getting his world turned upside down. 😭 someone get that man in some therapy stat.

Thank you 🥹 I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic so far. I'm excited for this next chapter and I can't wait to get it finished up and posted 💚

[neonmetro]

OMG AISHIRE MY BABY ???? 😭😭😭😭 I feel so bad for him ngl. . .LIKE I WILL PROTECT YOU OMG 😭😭😭😭 does she ever get the time to like, ever let out his emotions ??? I know suppressing them for a REALLY long time can lead to some very interesting actions ( like when She's overworked ). And because of everything that's happened and his extreme paranoia, has he hallucinated or hallucinates often ??? And building robots literally being his coping mechanism ??? GDHDJDJFUJF😭💞😭💞💞😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 I WILL LITERALLY PROTECT YOU AT ALL COSTS AISHIRE ( silly )

I can also see why she's my favorite corphead now...🙏🏽 she's such an interesting character, and the things that drive her to do the things that she does are so interesting. Someone get my baby a hug and some therapy STAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

-paris anon

!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!!!

aishire has got so many issues and they only have gotten worse with time, she doesn't really even let them out healthily, its usually only through destroying her own robots in a fit of rage if they aren't turning out like she wants them to turn out or chewing his thumb or scratching head until he bleeds

HE DEFINITELY HAS MET THE HORRORS FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND INSOMNIA AND HE JUST KINDA SITS THERE TRYING REAAAAL HARD TO IGNORE THEM before trying to throw shit at them to get them to leave them alone (its usually a hallucination of bezaliel)

with the death of bezaliel came with the death of a lot of good things in her life I think. she just killed one of the largest pieces of her life and now she only has one of her closest friends

SHE NEEDS SEVERE THERAPY AND HER THERAPIST WILL NEED A THERAPIST AFTER EVERY SESSION

[straightuppotato-art]

Rambling, unorganized thoughts about Book 3 (lots of spoilers for all routes)

The A route romance scenes were delightful and I’ve never felt so insane over a fictional character :))) The car date was adorable, the pre-mission begging made me SICK, AND THE “YOU ARE STRONG” SCENE!!!! I AM ON THE FLOOR!!!!! I do think the ending should have been pushed to the next book, though, it did feel fast. Let me build more of a connection before messing up the relationship! But overall? THE ROUTE DID MAKE ME SOSOSOSO NOT NORMAL OMFGGGGGG!!

The M brainrot is STRONG!!!!! There’s so many little bits and pieces that I just think about and giggle. BUT THE SHOWER SCENE. I AM NEVER RECOVERING. Also “Just fucking make sure you come back” hehehe 💕💕 I dooooo wish the bakery came back up, maybe? Idk though. Also the Tina dinner was simultaneously hilarious and embarrassing. Also also the antique shop <33 Lovely route, I can’t wait for M to figure out their feelings <33

F ROUTE COMES IN CLUTCH AS THE SWEETEST AND EASIEST ROMANCE <3 I was sickeningly in love the entire time <333 “I’ve never been so happy to be so tired” made me put my phone down and just. Happy idk how to describe it lmao. Also I thought F discussing their past was the most natural of the bunch, so props for that!! I also was surprised by the intimate scenes 👀 Also that they haven’t confessed to being in love with you! (Unless they did and I can’t remember)

N route was fun if a little… shallow? Idk, I just don’t feel like it was as emotional or organic as the other routes? It was very sweet, but idk. Something felt off. The Verda dinner date was very cute though and I did LOVE the bath scene <33333 Also N connecting their phone to the Bluetooth was very funny!!

The Love Triangle…… I forgot that the poly au only exists in my head. I thought it was good, though I did end leaning towards A throughout because of N’s aforementioned ehness. The fight at the end was kinda hot ngl lmaooo. I very much want and Do Not want to see this all blow up <333

The plot comes second to the romance, I’m aware. I just wish that it was handled with the seriousness it deserves. I genuinely forgot that we were dealing with kidnappings because I got caught up in the cute routes. So yeah. I would’ve preferred a tone adjustment. I thought it was fine overall, but the blood drive was :/ Not utilized well.

The reveal that Douglas was turned into a supernatural was so off??? Like, obviously, I thought that’s what it would be, but the Detective is never surprised?? I thought this was very weird + I was bothered that the Detective doesn’t seem to feel guilty? Like you have the option of feeling guilty for like literally everyone else BUT Dougie?? That’s my son, ofc I feel bad!! Let me feel guilty and bad!!! <- Okay, for the guilt part of that, that might be a code error? Idk did anyone get the options to blame yourself for what happens to Doug? Please let me know!!

Also I don’t understand the new stats for the combat and research options at all??????

Also I thought some things were painfully obvious and were not revealed quick enough/the detective was too shocked by them. Primarily, Rebecca’s connection to the chamber + Elidor being kidnapped (though I believe it’s only on his route where it is infuriatingly obvious that he’s kidnapped, and not even because we get Sin’s POV)

Also the constant “we’ll drain your blood and sell it!!” was annoying because it’s so illogical lmao. Kids, if you ever need someone’s blood supply, keep them alive so that they make more 👍

I AM PRAYING THAT THE DETECTIVE GETS THERAPY IN BOOK 4 OMFG. LIKE IM NOT KIDDING I WILL BE SO UPSET IF THEY DONT. Even just an offhanded “yeah, I talk to someone” idfc. I felt so horribly bad for the detective all throughout and I need the crap they go through to be acknowledged by the narrative in a way other than “oh, do you want your RO to comfort you?” YEAH but also professional help!!!!

Overall, it was a fun and entertaining read, the brainrot is strong, and yeah!!!!!!!

[eldritchgriffin]

The N25 girls are really so depressed they made Miku depressed. Someone get them some therapy, stat

[omsdoortodoor]

Blog Extra - MS Awareness Week 22nd April to 28th April 2024

This week is UK MS Awareness Week and this year Overcoming MS is running a campaign called #MSUnfiltered.

As part of the campaign, OMS is working with MS Society UK, MS Together, Multiple Sclerosis Trust, MS-UK, Neuro Therapy Network and Shift.ms to survey over 1,400 people in the UK living with MS. The survey results showed us that:

When I was diagnosed the first thing I did was to check out the MS charity websites, as recommended by my neurologist.  When I read the long list of symptoms

I was appalled because I had virtually all of these symptoms to some degree or another. 

Here is the list of symptoms combined from the MS Trust and the MS Society websites:

Fatigue

Strange Skin sensations (numbness tingling, pins and needles, a crawling)

Balance and Co-ordination

Vision Problems

Walking difficulties

Thinking & memory difficulties (brain fog)

Bladder & bowel issues

Temperature sensitivity

Low mood, emotional problems, depression, and anxiety

Pain

Sexual issues

Sleep problems

Speech and swallowing problems

Hearing difficulties

Tremors

So when I read the list not only was I dismayed, I was also rather confused.  Because, some of those symptoms I had been putting down to my age.  So how do I know is it my MS or an age thing?

But I’m really hear to talk about the #MSUnfiltered campaign and what we don’t usually talk about.

While I have been very open about my MS diagnosis, there are some people who chose not to tell their employer for fear of being judged and side-lined at work. And when I chose to give up work, I didn’t tell my clients the full reasons behind my decision.  Which were, that I no longer trusted myself to build an accurate spreadsheet of financial projections or that it took me three times longer that it should to write a simple report due to my brain fog and reduction in manual dexterity at the keyboard.  The reduction in my ability to hold complex ideas in my mind undermined my confidence in my own abilities.  I wanted them to remember me as someone capable of doing everything that I used.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by outside stimulus that I struggle to think straight or to express myself properly.  All I can manage is a grunt because I can’t get the words that I want to say out.  I come over as inarticulate and I worry people will think I am rude because I only use a few words and need to go and lie down.

Up to 50% of people with MS have poor mental health – this is something I am comfortable talking about and I am happy to fly the flag here.  However, when I went on an MS retreat in November and started to talk about how MS affects my mental health, not one person had the courage to talk about their own issues. Even though there were 40 people in the room, and we were in a ‘safe space’.  If the stats are right at least 20 people in that room must have experience of poor mental health. For a moment, I felt a bit embarrassed for raising the topic, but only for a moment.  What I really felt was sympathy that no one else had the courage to share.

And finally, my closest friends will know that I use the loo A LOT. I now have a RADAR key but I haven't had to use it YET.

#MSAwarenessWeek #MSAwareness #MS #MSDiagnosis #OvercomingMS #OMS #MSSymptoms

[heinous-desiree]

May i have some...Maeve crumbs🫵🥹💸

(i love he. ...he is so cute....and baby girl ....)

Also for absolute no reason do you have a reference sheet for your PCs🗿no reason man 🗿 dw about it🗿🗿🗿

Not sure what crumbs to give you but-

You: Baby girl.

Maeve: ... ... ... +++++++++ Lust

You found his WEAKNESS words. Good job! Now he's putty in your hands.

With Maeve, he has been tossed around and mistreated way too much. He just desperately wants someone to like him- no, LOVE HIM. He wants to be treated nicely and pampered but... He just doesn't see anything of himself worth good treatment so he'll settle with having someone want him around! Haha, when kids need therapy but get Bailey's tough "love(?)" instead. He gets insulted far worse when people see him as a weak boy, but they call him a "cute little girl" when they mistake his effeminate face. That led him down the rabbit hole of pretending to be a girl so his weakness can be seen as adorable rather than pathetic.

Also, he likes cute and pretty things. He will be the cute pretty thing.

PC reference below-

Jas the Wildcard

Her body is large and her personality is defiant. She is an absolute delinquent in school just cause she will smack around anyone that messes with her, all the teachers love her though cause she has taken the time to befriend all of them outside of class.

Her willpower, promiscuity, exhibitionism, and deviancy use to be higher but going to prison had lowered her stats. Who says prison makes a person stronger?

Hunter the Allrounder

Following Jas' footsteps, he is also a large body boy with a defiant personality. He works HARD to be the ideal student and popular with his peers. As much as he'll beat up Whitney, cause everyone approves of someone beating up Whitney, he keeps his head down for everything else at school cause he doesn't want to upset any teacher and be given... Detention-

Celeste the Righteous

She is normal-sized, the average, the everyday peep. She is no less defiant though, even if she can't throw as hard a punch. She can and will pepper spray the hell out of you if needed. This girl is a model student and a social outcast. She is too busy hitting the books to be making friends! ...Help her, she hasn't had fun in years. (Fun fact, she wears a binder to hide how big her chest is. She is sick of perverts staring at her when she is legally not allowed to poke out their eyes.)

Maeve the Trap

This boy is TINY, he is smaller than KYLAR. He refuses to be a man in any situation cause he is clearly baby. This boy is soft and submissive, which has led him to be the school's punching bag. ... Just kidding! ...He's the town's punching bag- Rumors of his cross-dressing are spreading and now all the kids are looking to rip off his clothes to see if it's true.

[not-joan-of-arc]

heaven official's blessing (pt. 2)

(finished reading on April 1 2022)

my unedited annotations for books four and five (SPOILERS AHEAD):

BOOK FOUR

been too busy to read for the past few days but I'm super excited to dive back into this - that being said, I'm still scared of this book ending

and so we return to the past!!

okay so Xie Lian's already been banished? ngl I was kind of hoping to see the actual banishment because I'm still confused as to why exactly he was banished??

also it's weird because the Xie Lian of the past is vastly different from present him but you can also very clearly see how he became the way he is today

ah yes now we know exactly where Xie Lian's poison-cooking-specialty originates from lol

okay Mu Qing is being kind of a dick in leaving Xie Lian but also he's got a valid point, and I kinda sympathise with him?

oh fuck me it's Hua Cheng?? I knew he would be in this book somehow!!

“I want to protect them.” - no but this is his unfulfilled wish that ties him to the mortal realm?? like he just wants to protect Xie Lian, that's so pure and wow I'm actually going to start crying now

I hope one day to find someone who loves me as much as Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, even if its just in a platonic way

‘“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said.

The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.”’

no but this whole scene with Xie Lian and little ghost Hua Cheng is like the foundation of their current relationship - Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian without ever speaking a word to him of it, suffering to keep his heart to himself

so Hua Cheng died in the war, that makes sense

wait what?? Xie Lian actually cooked something edible?? maybe his cooking skills are a plot device after all

oh so this is when Feng Xin gets all wifed up

no but you really feel the second-hand embarassment when Xie Lian is caught trying to rob someone, like he's really fallen from that gracious and honorable Crown Prince of the past

yo someone help this boy, he is literally having multiple panic attacks and has very severe PTSD and also probably depression, like boy needs some therapy stat

but tbf, that's all characters in every mxtx adaptation rip

okay but ghost fire Hua Cheng is genuinely adorable

oh so these are the thirty-three heavenly officials Hua Cheng becomes famous for killing - of course his reason for doing so was Xie Lian! I should have realised that sooner considering everything Hua Cheng does is for Xie Lian

“But, this hand had reached out too late.”

I think White No-Face's obsession with Xie Lian is because he is the Crown Prince of Wuyong who suffered a terrible fate and he wants Xie Lian to suffer likewise and join him so he won't be alone anymore

the one instance where Feng Xin and Mu Qing are actually getting along and it's Xie Lian who drives them apart, how ironic - I keep trying to make myself like Mu Qing and like, I understand why he does what he does but I still don't like him - Feng Xin though is my boi

I'm beginning to understand why book four is the most tragic and hardest-to-read section in the whole book

no but it makes sense?? killing makes you immune to the human face disease

oh fuck no I think I know what's about to happen

Xie Lian...what are they doing to you

fuck me but he is without a doubt the character with the most tragic backstory ever to exist

SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE HIM

how painful this must be for Hua Cheng too seeing the love of his life bear so much pain and be unable to do anything about it

Xie Lian you need to tell Feng Xin what happened to you or you're going to lose him too

“It’s not like I’m a god, can’t I be angry? Can’t I hate?”

I understand why Feng Xin leaves but also fuck you Feng Xin! can't you see how much torment your best friend is in? can't you see that he's too broken to be left alone

wait the King and Queen have actually hanged themselves?

no okay this is too fucking much don't y'all leave Xie Lian alone like this, he doesn't deserve to be tormented like thus, he doesn't deserve any of this

Ruoye!! and now I understand what Xie Lian meant when he talked about forging his spiritual device with Pei Ming - I knew it would be tragic but never this tragic

he's on the verge of becoming the white-faced calamity isn't he?

Hua Cheng to the rescue!! and now I understand all the fan art of Hua Cheng in a smiling face mask

or maybe not Hua Cheng to the rescue? curiouser and curiouser

Xie Lian has definitely got something up his sleeve as always but it still hurts to watch him be so broken and in pain

and now we have the story behind the bamboo hat

Hua Cheng!!

ahh why do they both go through so much pain?? and because they're soulmates they feel each other's pain too - my heart -

I read a post that said all that happens to Xie Lian makes him “desensitised” to everything and that's exactly what it is - he bears so much pain and suffering and humiliation in such a short span of time that eight hundred years later present day Xie Lian just does not give a fuck about anything anymore, like he's reached the lowest it is posible to ever go and can go no lower and like my heart is in pieces for him but at the same time he's such a fucking icon

the truth behind his second banishment

and thus we have present day Xie Lian in all his adorableness, except now we know his full story

the only big mystery left now is his third ascension I think

now onto book five as we return to Mount Tongl'u

BOOK FIVE

I don't this even needs to be said but I loathe White No-Face with every inch of my being okay

no but its actually hilarious that Hua Cheng carved a inhumanly big statue of Xie Lian out of a literal mountain, like my man is whipped

the real question is why is Hua Cheng a ghost king and not a world-famous artist and sculptor?? like he should have his own museum and not be running the ghost version of las vegas lol

it's also hilarious how though all the gods supposedly find Xie Lian strange they're all still willing to do whatever he says, like Quan Yizhen and even Pei Ming

haha I knew Pei Ming totally ships it

its only been like a few hours since Hua Cheng and Xie Lian properly kissed with no pretensions (and they haven't even properly confessed their love yet - though they don't really need to to be honest lol) but I'm absolutely living for these casual displays of love, like Hua Cheng giving Xie Lian a forehead kiss makes me feel so warm and happy

I was wondering when Shi Quingxan would show up again - ngl, was not expecting this reunion though

absolutely love the fact that Xie Lian can quite easily kiss Hua Cheng in front of everyone when it's a high-stakes situation but gets flustered by kissing his cheek when they're completely alone, Xie Lian is just too adorable

Jun Wu is White No-Face?? what the fuck....

I thought Jun Wu was kind of sus but not to this extent

no I don't want Yin Yu to die, he's genuinely one of my faves and deserves so much better than he got

yasss we stan Lord Rain Master!!

hmm I wonder if Mu Qing's interrogation has anything to do with what Hua Cheng heard him and Feng Xin arguing about on Mount Tongl'u

I mean Hua Cheng isn't wrong, the two of them really have zero self-preservation instincts lol

yes finally, we're going to get the full story!

so Jun Wu/White No-Face has basically been manipulating everything from the very beginning? damn - and I thought Mengyao in mdzs was a psychopath, this is just on a whole other level

Guoshi ships it!! he's definitely confused about where all the gay came from though lol

I'm screaming Guoshi is definitely trying (and failing) to give Xie Lian some sex ed

this whole battle seems like some sort of crack dream

okay but Guoshi is actually the best

Guoshi referring to Quan Yizhen as a ‘fluffy child’ is the peak of hilarity

not Guzi!

this Hua Cheng is He Xuan isn't it

not gonna lie, I kinda ship General Pei and the Rain Master

Hua Cheng already imagining having a child with Xie Lian - I can't, that's too adorable

final battle approaches

Hua Cheng wanting to make a good impression on his boyf's ‘dad’

come on Xie Lian, you're so good at sussing out every other gods mysteries but you can't even figure out all Hua Cheng has done for you? you're so fucking obtuse at times

Hua Cheng thinking that Xie Lian was going to stab himself again - my heart - and then being reminded of when Xie Lian was stabbed by a hundred swords but Xie Lian just laughing it off - ahhh why did they have to go through so much pain

I think Feng Xin is slowly coming to the understand the depth of trust and love and mutual respect that is Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's relationship - he's definitely not against it now at the very least

also glad we're finally getting some character growth from Mu Qing, after 800 years

so this is the truth of Mu Qing and honestly, I can't really say I dislike him so much anymore, like I understand where he's coming from

he's still a dumbass for not realising that Xie Lian genuinely did want to be friends all this time though, but then again, if I met someone as good as Xie Lian I would be a little skeptical too lol

this whole scene is low-key hilarious, they're both dumbasses

scratch that, all three of them - Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin - they're all dumbasses

‘Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??”’- I'm crying

okay now I'm starting to understand where all the shipping of Feng Xin and Mu Qing comes from, this whole bit with Feng Xin carrying Mu Qing and them bickering is kind of adorable

Mu Qing and Feng Xin definitely give the vibe of Xie Lian's brothers who don't really approve of Xie Lian's boyf in the first place but still don't want him to be harmed for the sake of Xie Lian - I actually love their friendship okay, however much history they have between them all

and now we get the rest of Hua Cheng's story!! I'm so ready for this

no fucking way - so Hua Cheng could have been a god??

he definitely chose the ghost life for the aesthetic lol

I love the trope when couples fight together as a team, like all the wordless communication and synchronisation

‘Because he wasn’t as good as Hua Cheng thought him to be.’

that's the thing though, Hua Cheng has seen every bit of Xie Lian and knows that he's imperfect, he understands him and sees him for who he is - Xie Lian, don't you understand? Hua Cheng cares about none of it, all he cares about is you, its all he's ever cared about

‘“Your Highness, don’t be afraid. Remember? The one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you. No matter what’s happened in the past, I will never leave you. You can tell me anything.”’

nooo not ruoye!! :(

‘He couldn’t help but wonder—perhaps, to be defeated by someone, to end these relentless days of brokeness and madness, was possibly Jun Wu’s wish deep down.’

Xie Lian you are truly one of a kind - “shattering boulders on chest” lmao

‘All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.’

fucking finally!! it's taken Xie Lian way too long to realise the truth lol

‘Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness. If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

He said all this as the maple red of his robes slowly faded away.’

fuck me they better have a happy ending after all that or I'm going to scream

Jian Lan and Feng Xin deserved better, they all deserved so much better

I love how every little story arc is getting some sort of resolution as we near the end

‘Hua Cheng waited for him for over eight hundred years, so what did it matter if he waited for Hua Cheng for another eight hundred more? It could be a thousand years, ten thousand years, and he would still wait, and continue to wait.’

‘A smile hung on Xie Lian’s face, thinking, he wasn’t the only one who had fallen.’ - but I'm also bawling

‘Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.’

final chapter let's go!! but also I don't want this to end

love that they've returned to Puqi shrine it's so wholesome

I'm screaming - this definitely means Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have already slept together lol - and Feng Xin and Mu Qing are just there like ‘we really didn't need to know that’

the elusive He Xuan??

I am living for domestic HuaLian

“I am forever your most devoted believer.”

---

after finishing the book:

screaming crying laughing I can't believe its over

this was a genuine masterpiece

also reading the post-script I think MXTX is legitimately a genius like wow, I aspire to be as talented as she is

(rated 5 stars)

---

my annotation system