#SO IM NEVER GONNA LOVE EVER!!!!!
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#SO OBSESSED WITH THE RUNS IN THE CHORUS#SO IM NEVER GONNA LOVE EVER!!!!!#kehlani#while we wait 2#my baby mama#loml <3#Spotify
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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kayne: what kind of great old one calls himself fucking john
john:
#malevolent#malevolent ep 40#malevolent spoilers#like damn! leave him be!#kayne really was like stupid ass name...#from the guy calling himself KAYNE i dont wanna hear SHIT#at least john doe has like. meaning behind it#kayne just means little battler like okkk little soldier has daddy looked at u this month 🙄🙄🙄#sorry i love making fun of his daddy issues#NOW THAT ITS CANON HE'S NYARLATHOTEP#hes never gonna hear the end of it#god forbid azatoth is ever introduced guys im so serious#remi rambles
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 6: Protect
#some campfire confessions for yall :)#I had a very draining day today so we’re not doing long tags for this one#I have a drawing im still working on for day 4 so its gonna be a little out of order#but whatever it is what it is#I used the fun brush again for this one :D#fun fact: bears are my favorite animal#look I never said I wouldn’t ever do personal facts#also I’m too tired to go looking for facts#so there’s some Ricky lore#what’s YOUR favorite animal?#let me know in the tags if you feel like it /nf#idk yall#campfire confession#abstinence camp#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#karen chasity#girl jeri#nightmare time#Starkid#hatchetfield#team starkid#Kim Whalen#hatchetfield axe man#man- Axe Man is such a banger- it’s my favorite hatchetfield song#it’s just too good I love it#that episode has a lot of good songs#my art
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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champions of my heart
#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#legends arceus#volo#volo pokemon#cynthia#cynthia pokemon#did you know diamond was my first pokemon game#thats why i have such a strong attachment to sinnoh#when i was a kid i literally cried in a shopping mall in japan cus my parents wouldnt let me get platinum#but like... they were right cus i cant speak japanese and i didnt have a japanese ds so what was i thinking#oh volo my deranged man take my hand in marriage#kinda cringe but i have self insert x volo drawings#volo is the only character ive ever done that for#to be cringe is to be free as they say#anyway im never sharing those so LMAOOOO#the point is i love volo and cynthia mwah mwah#god i could ramble for hours about them but im gonna stop while im ahead
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DAY 75: onehat
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat act 6 spoilers#twohat spoilers#isat spoilers#yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me#..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree?#i always imagined the evening for some reason.#um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it#do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them#is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative.#they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended#that's it.#i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them#i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all#the tree is their grave.#something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse#and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority#experience especially playing blind.#to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection#i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop#very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation#self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch#Is this anything i dont know that it is#idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs#i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess?#it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger#but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think
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i’m listening to this beautiful edit of mizisua + ivantill cure together and it made me realize how gently sua and mizi are singing in comparison to ivantill. they never had to shout to make their love known, because it was always requited. ivan and till have to shout at eachother in the final chorus because their feelings for eachother will always be unrequited.
#IM GONNA BE SO SICK#sorry gang i love ivantill…but i don’t think till ever felt the same about ivan#ivan desperately wanted cure to be a proper duet#ivan wanted what mizi and sua had in my clematis SO BADLY#the fact that mizisua cure is an actual duet like ivan wish he had with till MAKES ME SO ILL#and don’t get me started on the cover art#the way mizi and sua gently caress eachother because they never had to be forced to look at eachother#they were always in eachothers gaze#I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE#alien stage#alnst#🦢🍸 thoughts !!#ivantill#alien stage till#alnst till#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alnst mizi#alnst sua#mizisua#alien stage mizi#alien stage sua
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.
#the way that murph immediately volunteered to take a stress token for Kristen without skipping a beat#AND THEN HE TOOK A FUCKING SECOND ONE WHEN THEY STILL ROLLED BAD#something something you will dig until your own hands are bleeding something something#god that quote still haunts me I will never stop thinking about it I swear to god#he works so hard#and he doesn’t ever ask for any recognition or anything in return because just helping is enough#making sure the people he loves are okay is enough for him#this stupid little goblin man makes me want to throw up /pos#he just cares so deeply for everyone around him#i love him so dearly#my silly little fella#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#riz gukgak#fantasy high junior year#OH AND DONT FUCKING THINK FOR A SECOND THAT IM NOT GONNA TALKING ABOUT GORGUG MOTHERFUCKING THISTLESPRING. BECAUSE THIS BITCH /aff#he’s going to have so many stress tokens by the end of this it’s so unfunny and it is making me unwell#I just. I just want them all to be okay and happy and not stressed and GODS they all need a fucking hug#they’re all traumatized and stressed and stupid and silly and I love them all so so much#eats them#puts them in a blender#throws them into a washing machine and watches them spin around#sobs violently#I’m so ill about them#sorry for the rant#i will be back#and I will talk more I’m not actually sorry that’s mb#the tags are like a whole ass paragraph of text but that’s okay#i just think they're neat
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Request: Nickel centric polyam grand slams please I need him being loved rn
absolutely i'd do anything for that guy
#best request i've ever gotten#i'm working on a second drawing too but i wanted to go ahead and post this one#let that guy be so loved!!#inanimate insanity#ii nickel#nickel ii#ii balloon#ii suitcase#ii baseball#polyam grand slams#ii polyam grand slams#nickloon#nickcase#bickel#basecase#suitloon#ii nickloon#ii nickcase#ii bickel#ii suitloon#ii basecase#you cant see his trinket from bb here but i'm thinking i wanna do a keychain on his belt loop maybe#gonna be drawing more of him in general probably#sorry it took a bit im not used to drawing this many people sjdjsl im pretty happy with it though#EDIT: I ALMOST FORGOT BALLOON'S FRECKLES never forgiving myself /silly also added eyelashes oops#brewing some art
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#finished manifold garden tonight ouuuuugghghgghh it was so Very good. yes👍YES👍yeahyeahyeahyeah#i luv u exploring endlessly stretching impossible spaces. i luv u mandelbulbs and twisty fractals. i luv u thrumming synthy music#man it was so tasty. end of the game was giving me fearful..cosmic dread? i havent felt since outer wilds. just THROWIN urself off#like. these are colours these are twisting colours. why are u slumping down the couch ever so slightly with a chill down ur arms#fucking wonka boat tunnel dmt trip nightmare of a colour sure. sure yeah. and it was AWESOME awesome ending. TOTAL collapse#fun puzzles. throwin urself and free falling through a level never got old. loved snappin the gravity round. nada motion sickness✅️Score✅️#playing manifold garden: this is just like jacob gellers shape of infinity video.......#couldnt stop thinkin abt him describing the airborne funerals given in the library of babel#the body falling eternally never hitting the ground thats CRAZY THAAAAAAAAAAAAATS. i would like to read it. im gonna read it#jacob geller u have not led me astray yet on video game recs. manifold garden! MANIFOLD GARDEN!!!!!!!!!!#great ost yeaaaassirr. just really liked it so i did oohheeeeooo :] :D yeahboshdone#manifold garden#structure tag#chewtoy
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i’m going to be starting a job soon where it looks like almost all of my coworkers/bosses are going to be cis women and i am…terrified. especially since this is the job i’m going to have to get time off from for top surgery.
if there’s one thing i’ve learned over the almost ten years of my transition, it’s that a situation where i’m the only guy there is one where my gender is guaranteed to not be respected. it really feels like far too many cis women realize they’re alone with a trans man and just see it as an opportunity to act out some sort of power fantasy where they get to stick it to the big bad evil men by taking out their anger on the first man they see without the power to fight back. that or they decide you’re “just one of the girls” and will not hear otherwise, but honestly, given where i’m at in my physical transition, i have a feeling the former is more likely.
there was a time when i felt safer around cis women than around cis men, but now it’s just a different kind of threat.
#a lot of them are also. let’s say a very specific kind of cis woman#because of who this kind of job attracts#as a trans man but also as a disabled and mentally ill person…im not optimistic about how it’s gonna go#i was already deadnamed and misgendered throughout the physical for the job bc their system has no way to handle preferred names or anything#so uh. not looking too great right off the bat and im sure that’s just the beginning#it’s not a job im super jazzed about in general bc it’s in a setting that i have Lots Of Problems With and never wanted to work in#but a bitch needs money so. gotta suck it up and deal with a few months of transphobia ableism and general cognitive dissonance#i love capitalism! it’s so fun and cool and quirky! (said with the most lifeless voice you’ve ever heard)#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men#transmascs
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Eugene/Merriell
"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown."
#now that i have all the footage from the pacific logged im gonna go crazy with these edits just so youre all aware#eugene sledge#the yearning its all about the yearning#snafu shelton#merriell shelton#oh my god i cant remember how to spell his first name...t he french are insane#the pacific#sledgefu#song is of course sufjan stevens alone wiht you#i was gonna use an adrienne lenker song but i caved!! gotta give it to the classics#snafu im gonna get ur ass..... im gonna get u....... for breaking my babys heart...... i wont forget this not ever.....#eugene “never known a man who loved me” sledge we need to get u to the club baby#video edit#amv
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