#SHAME I COULDNT FIT MORE LOL
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do you think orochimaru had girl power? do you think orochimaru effectively utilized girlpower by funneling money into illegal child experimentation dungeons in otogakure
#sasuke uchiha#karin uzumaki#suigetsu hozuki#juugo#orochimaru#kimimaro kaguya#kabuto yakushi#AUGHHH IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DRAW THESE GUYS#SHAME I COULDNT FIT MORE LOL#next time i'll get the sound village four + bonus test tube yamato to round the whole crew out#have so many kabuto and karin pics on the back burner tooooo... sound village besties you will always be famous to me#my art
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whew im finally done with my PL oc/custom eris i suppose. (well i wanted to draw him more but im bored) embarrassingly long post ahead so brace yourself
collection of his fits: (fun fact, all of them have a reference to milo somewhere like hearts, the cross earring M milo has, or just the letter M... also shaped like a heart)
he puts the war in wardrobe. (i couldnt stop myself from giving him multiple outfits since taking care of his looks is a pretty significant part of his character)
ok yapping time (even this is actually very condensed from what ive written):
- his favorite manipulation tactics involve shaming and guilt tripping. hes really subtle about them. also playing innocent
- he grew up with an alcoholic physically abusive father and was taught to play up his cuteness so his father would have a harder time lashing out at him and pity him, which is why he takes a lot of care of his appearance and looks. he weaponizes them and uses them as a defense mechanism too
- overconfident hedonist who fucks around and finds out lol. good at adapting to match other peoples energy and needs
- naturally book smart but not street smart. hes very well known in college for his consistently good grades. he uses his helplessness in daily situations to play the damsel in distress role (trust this guy to weaponize even his weakness)
- out of all the milos hes most similar to M milo (but hes actually introverted). his favorite milo would be pre though (he likes how miserable he looks and finds it endearing. also he likes cute things and bunnies and pre milo is the cutest to him... and the bunny one)
- if i had to liken him to any pre existing characters, the closest would be chae yul from secret alliance
- he doesnt care about 99% of things in life so its hard to see him stressed out. the only thing he cares about is milo. he thinks manipulating milo is okay because in the end milo will love him and be happy to be with him, and he will be happy to be with milo too, so its a win-win (dont mind the ethics of this logic)
- uses milo like a servant or a guard dog (v milo rejoice, youre perfect). hes really lazy and clumsy, bad at household chores. hes actually very protective of milo though. he may be bossy and manipulative towards him but if someone else hurts milo he will immediately take matters into his own hands. hes squeamish and weak to blood and gore (which would suck when hes with v milo) but he would definitely start maiming anyone who hurts milo (aside from himself lol)
- his best subject was math. his worst subject was history. his hobbies are mostly solitary activities like gaming, drawing, taking walks, and dancing
extras: he heard milo likes bunnies
and... while drawing all those colorful outfits i could only think of one thing...
(this would actually never happen because he would never apologize)
oh and i almost forgot to include these
ok last fun fact: his favorite endings would definitely be the killer (v) and arsonist (m) endings (very funny how in both of these he transforms milo into a national menace) but his least favorites would be kidnapped/taken (v) and walls (m). he would especially hate the walls one. milo get out!!!! he wants to see you!!!!!!!!
#perfect love vn#perfect love fanart#pre milo#perfect love oc#perfectlovevn#if hes yandere and milos yandere whos driving the car#he would be so jealous over M milo because that ones more sociable#aka has more friends!!! gives other people attention!!! probably even has admirers!!!#(not for long though)#pl emir#emirmilo
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vent
cw for suicide
life recently has been really rough.
my mental health has been in the ditch for months, hormones completely disregulated bc i couldnt buy my hrt, me putting myself under so much pressure with work and college and cons and just, everything at once, a bunch of untreated mental illnesses that i was trying to deal with without any help. i was trying to hold myself up, but after some personal stuff happening well, it only got worse.
ive tried holding out as best as i could. things will get better, i just have to get out by going through it, right? i tried. i really, really tried. but i couldnt handle it, it felt like my life was falling apart around me and i was desperatly trying to pick it up while it crumbled more and more. i reached the lowest point i could ever reach. on july 28th, i tried killing myself. i gathered every single pill i coud find, i didnt know which one would do it, i just knew that a bunch of them could kill me. and i set everything up. i was home alone. my mother was travelling to visit her family on the country side, my sisters were out at their partners houses and my brother and his family had just gone out. i locked myself in the bathroom and shaved my head completely. i was as ugly on the outside as inside, no attachments left to hold me back and yet... i couldnt do it.
i sat on the floor looking at the pills. i was shaking and crying. i wanted to end it all, but i was scared, so scared. i unlocked the bathroom and sat on the corridor looking in. i hated myself, and yet i couldn't kill myself still. i had hope of things changing, getting better, i still have things i want to do, things i want to say and feel.
my sister found me sitting on the floor curled up an hour or so later. she said she sensed something was off about me and she came back home.
i dont want to be sad forever. i dont want to let anxiety and shame control my life like it has for years. i want to tell the people i love that i love them, i want to tell the world that im glad to be alive. i want to truly be happy.
i started therapy after that and taking antidepressants and anxiety meds, but things dont magically get better. i was diagnosed with autism which kinda explains a lot of things in my life lol. truth is, even with all my efforts to making things better, i find myself in the ditch again. healing has its ups and downs i know, and currently im down again...
im still not happy with how i am still, im still not the person who i want to be, but im doing my best to reach it. im not trying to be perfect, i only want to be human.
i dont feel human, i feel like im still learning, mimicking real humans to fit in. and that is so stressing... i feel like dying again, but im holding myself back. things can only go down so much before they start going up right... i really hope so... im not sure how much more i can keep going
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man as someone who also draws yet tries to be critical with the media and art i follow yeah i agree that artists could learn to draw diverse designs (not targeted to you just a general opinion) and such yet people forget that in the end we don't really own diversity neither representation and the way anons keep harassing you is ridiculous and tiring it makes me sad and i hope it doesn't discourage you.
i love your art, i really love scrolling through your page and see you rant about natsumugi it makes me get even more invested in them plus you draw them so pretty. i'm not even strongly into femstars but the way you draw natsume specifically influenced a bit in my hcs about him because idk it just fits him and perhaps because original natsume is already a bit androgynous this last remark is just a little side note i hope it's not too random lol and the way you draw both natsume and tsumugi makes my little sapphic heart go yippee
WAHHH it doesnt discourage me at all anon dont worry!! i have incredibly lovely friends, mutuals and followers who bring me immense joy and drives me to create even more! these anons are moreso just annoying, but harmless in the end!
and i agree that no artist should be forced to draw X Y Z, specifically if theyre just a hobbyist, but i do wanna say i think more diverse stuff should be greatly encouraged! and by this i mean, if you see someone try their hands at something more diverse that theyre not used to, dont be a dick about how their portrayal isnt good enough, thats just gonna make them want to stop and never exit their comfort zone again. what you should instead do is appreciate that theyre trying! and if perhaps the portrayal is offensive or REALLY misunderstands something, you can give criticisms on how to improve. the reason im still kind of trying to figure out the best way i can depict the tsumugi of my dreams is because many times when ive had people notice shes a bit softer, they get really happy about it! and seeing people be happy makes me happy and makes me wanna learn more! alot of my art is trial and error, i sometimes go back to old habits or stick to what im used to, but in the back of my head i still have a drive to learn and to improve, because people have been so kind to me. and i really wish people would realize its this kindness and uplifting that makes people want to continue learning, to continue improving, to experiment and see what sticks. shaming people for trying wont get you the results you want
AND WAHHHH THANK YOU!!! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! i love everything about switch SO incredibly much (incase u couldnt alr tell) and i love to just!! gush about them!!!! and i love women too!!! i love to gush about women!!!!!! this blog makes me incredibly happy, and it makes me even happier that i get to share it with such kindhearted people despite the few bad apples here is a little preview of the tsumugi also❤️
#I REALLY LIKE THE WAY SHE LOOKS SO FAR SO I WANTED TO SHARE IT#and also to let u know THE GRIND NEVER STOPS 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪#LOVE FOR WOMEN CONQUERS ALL#ask
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Uh-oh gyns, i opened pandoras box yesterday and put on makeup (other than the usual beard-shadow coverup that doesnt actually change how my face looks) and ah fuck i really hate how much i liked it. Nooo dont start using makeup ur already self conscious ahah...
Like i thought id fully accepted being ugly, because i do have a weird face and it usually doesnt bother me, i know i look like hot garbage most of the time but i actually felt like attractive hot garbage?? I dont know how to feel about this tbh. I dont want to start doing something that makes me feel worse about myself if i dont, and every time i do start dabbling in makeup and start wearing it outside it does make me want to keep doing it, but i genuinely dont know how to feel about this tbh?
I think the worst part of it is that i feel more like "myself" actually, in the sense that i look more like i did before i started trying to pass for male. Theres no real point to this post im just rambling.
I feel like i dont necessarily care about my face that much anymore, its just the face i have and its a bit weird looking and oddly proportioned but i can see several of my relatives in my own face. Unfortunately its mostly my male relatives tho lmao.
I really wonder if that has anything to do with my trans identity tbh, why i felt like i WAS male? Because i have always been pretty androgynous both in my face and body composition, and for a long time i was obsessed with plastic surgery generally. I tried really hard for a large part of my adolescence to be really feminine, make myself smaller and cuter and try to fit in with my peers atleast aesthetically when i couldnt fit in behaviourally.
I really remember the feeling of realising females could be transexuals too and suddenly feeling a promise of freedom, feeling like it explained why i pretended to be a boy as a child, why i didnt fit in with my female peers, why i felt the way i did about my female friends (hint: it was autism, and not understanding why i was limited by female socialisation and heteronormayivity) and how hesitantly hopeful i was that that was the explanation, and eventually i became convinced that it explained everything from my weird periods and my deeper than average voice to why i didnt fit in socially and behaviourally - there was something wrong with me on a biological level, something that was easy to believe when you've spent your whole life with a sense that there is something deeply and inherently wrong and different about you.
I dont know, i just wish id have been able to grow up as a girl and realise that that didnt dictate anything about how i should look or act or who i could fall in love with. I wish id have felt able to shed femininity without needing an "excuse" in the form of a male identity. I wish someone had looked at me in all my social problems and self destructive behaviours and realised that this is a kid who cannot ask for help and cannot articulate whats wrong. I wish someone had recognised that something was wrong and that i needed help rather than being told that i was really mature and independent, because i shouldnt have had to be.
And to bring it back to beauty ideals, i certainly shouldnt have been shamed and made to "fix" features that my brother was praised for having, i shouldnt have been told my face and body was unacceptable and unpresentable.
Idk man. Dont wanna care about how i look i dont want it to matter.
I guess a healthier outlook would be to say "huh im not ugly everyone else is just cheating" (jokes!! Is just jonkes!1!!) but then again i am kinda ugly and i just wish i didnt prefer looking better aesthetically because like, whats the point lol its not like thats gonna do anything for me
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Me reading the post about the colored cards: what the fuck is this it's totally not a thing what insane school would do this
Me checking the notes and seeing two people are like "yea": .
its literally so fucked up like, i was a little nd kid who could not understand or keep up w a lot of the rules most of the time and instead of helping they just enforce them harder which honestly just does nothing lol. like i still dont get it and now im just distressed, but id get punished more for being distressed. eventually i was resolved to be Good (which meant a lot of masking so job well fucking done i guess) and i tried my hardest to Not flip a card at all for a whole year, it was like, my resolution for that year basically.
and that may sound like the card thing "worked" but i still didnt understand the rules at all i just understood the consequences which is just the wrong way to go about doing things, its not teaching kids anything at all its only keeping them in line for the adults' convivence, we were being taught obedience not life lessons that would actually help us growing up.
i remember i made it a fair amount of time w/o flipping my card until one day my teacher helped me clean out my folder and saw i had unfinished work, and she made me flip it because i was playing earlier even though i had unfinished work... but the only reason was because my folder was so messy i couldnt see the work in question! but the card rules were so absolute that circumstance didnt matter, and no matter how hard i tried to justify it shed just get more angry at my distress and she told me to just go cry in the bathroom for a while and then i should come back and flip my card twice (an extra time for being a crybaby i guess). as a kid i didnt understand but i figured she must be right because shes an adult, and im still not good. as an adult i think she was just on a weird powertrip w all this authority she held over 7 year olds and i genuinely think shes a bitch for that lol
on top of that its fucked up that the card flipping thing was so public, it was on a board just sitting there for the class to see with our names on it and everything, like, it just feels so intentional. a way to shame the kids through their peers to further force this sort of conformity between them. and this often caused bullying! i remember there were kids who hard their cards flipped all the way to red almost every day, they were always made fun of by the other kids for being like, Bad. and this would just make it worse, kids would lash out in frustration of their situation, teachers wouldnt help them and would just keep using the same card flip method thats obviously failed them, and is just further encouraging their behavior as well as that of their peers. like, for what? does this tactic just make these poor kids to be sacrificial lambs? "dont be like The Bad Kid or this could be you so stay in line and be Good"? assassination classroom was right bro they were right
it really just prioritizes the overall conformity of the class over any of the students growth in any healthy way, its too one-size-fits-all, but children grown differently and arent a monolith, and circumstances can be different too. you have to actually communicate with those kids, even if theyre very young and communication is hard for them. like, its your fucking job to help them, talk to them and see what the problem is instead of trying to correct it like theyre dogs wearing a shock collar. its just a pavlovian response, they understand "action causes card to flip>card flip causes punishment>dont do action" but they dont understand why they shouldnt do it at all unless you actually talk with them. theyre kids but theyre people too
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My World: Part 2 ( Tanjiro Kamado x Reader )
( a/n: hi! welcome to part 2 of the “my world” series! so, originally, i planned to write two parts for this series but after writing part 2, i realized i couldnt stuff everything here or else it’ll get too long lol. so, part 3 will be coming soon! thank you for reading and enjoy!)
(this can also be read as a oneshot, but u can also read part 1 for more insight :3)
Part 1 I 2 I 3
Total words: 3840 words
Genre: Fluff
No manga spoilers
Warnings: None
–
It’s baffling to think how much the world can shift within moments in time.
From the scorching red Summer heat, to the endless warm and orange horizons of Autumn, the solemn and pleasant chill blankets of Winter, and the freshly blossoming flora announcing the arrival of Spring.
Seasons come and go, the ocean tides constantly growing and crashing, and just like the ever-falling Sakura petals drifting in the gentle morning breeze,
You could just only stare as warm rays of sunshine have embraced your dark and cruel world.
Ever since that night you have shared with Nezuko, you found yourself spending time with the soft-hearted demon more. When the sun came down, you would spend time with her in the garden of the Butterfly Estate. You would introduce her to all the sorts of flowers and plants that the garden had to offer.
It had become quite a routine for you to spend the night out with Tanjiro’s sister, and the trio observed how much you would be spending time with her for days now.
When Zenitsu found out about your newly discovered activity, he was desperate to leave with you in order to see Nezuko. Unfortunately for him, he was in such a bad condition that he was forced to stay in bed until he completely recovered to his normal self. Each time you left the ward, he’d kick, whine, and scream profanities in complete anguish.
“YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE AND SEE NEZUKO-CHAN AGAIN?!” The blonde screamed, pointing at you with such frustration that you could only sweat from his outburst.
“Zenitsu, please stop yelling! You’ll disturb the people working here!” You barked back, trying to make the blonde to shut up.
“AGH! THIS IS SO WRONG! HOW MANY DAYS HAS IT BEEN SINCE I LAST SAW MY FUTURE WIFE?! I BET SHE MISSES ME AS MUCH AS I MISS HER! IF YOU’RE REALLY A GOOD FRIEND, YOU SHOULD TAKE ME WITH YOU! YEAH! I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE WITHOUT ME JOINING YOU!”
He went on with his hissy fit, jumping and shrieking on his mattress. You could only look at him with such disgust as he howled out complete baloney.
It was a miracle when Aoi marched into the ward, with frustration clearly written in her face. Her face darkened as she observed the boy in his excessive freakout.
“I WON’T ALLOW IT! I WON’T ALLOW IT! I WON’T-”
“Shut up!” Aoi yelled out, as she hits Zenitsu, leaving him a whimpering mess.
“Stop yelling! You’re not the only one in this Estate! How many times do I have to tell you to stop being so loud?” The blue-eyed girl hissed, continuing to scold the lightning-breath user as he continued to tremble in his bed sheets.
Inosuke could care less about you spending time with Nezuko. All he ever did whenever you left was stuff his face with Tempura.
Geez, how much seafood can this guy fit in his mouth? You could only stifle a cackle as he would constantly demand for more food when you’d already be out of the room.
“[Mispronounced Name]! I COMMAND YOU TO BRING ME FOOD WHEN YOU RETURN!”
Yeah, okay.
On the other hand, you would also find yourself spending more time with Tanjiro, too. Each time you would interact with his sister, he would also come by, smiling and laughing, as you played with Nezuko like she were your own sibling.
One night, you traveled through the halls of the Butterfly Estate, with the intent of reaching the Garden to see your demon friend.
As you reached a corner, you were knocked by a sudden flash of pink. You were shocked at first, but your entire face lit up as you recognized the rose-colored eyes that you had grown to be fond of.
“Hello, Nezuko!” You greeted, as the demon’s face brightened and engulfed you in a warm hug.
You were giggling at her display of affection. You couldn’t react quickly when she suddenly took your hand and raced to the Garden. She was so fast! You’ve had a hard time keeping up with her pace, because you haven’t even fully healed from your injuries yet.
When the both of you arrived, your hands fell on your knees, gasping for air. The girl made a concerned noise, kneeling down to your eye-level, as she looked at you with worry.
“Oh no! It’s all right!” you waved your hand, trying to reassure your friend. When your breathing got steady again, you got up, smiling at her. Nezuko stood up and started to pat your head, with a pleasant expression on her face.
As you observed the girl in front of you, you noticed how long her hair was. When your siblings were still around, you recalled the moments when your sisters had begged you to braid their hair. Of course, you’ve been pretty good at it, after doing it so often. You felt nostalgic as you remembered how happy they were after you braided their hair.
“Nezuko?” You started. The girl looked at you, her head slightly tilting to the side. “Would you like me to braid your hair?”
Nezuko’s eyes lit up and nodded vehemently, cheerful “mmhm” noises coming out of her bamboo muzzle. You laugh softly as she leads you to the nearest Wisteria tree. You sat against the trunk of the tree, and Nezuko immediately knelt down with her back facing you, revealing her long hair in it’s full glory. You grabbed small strands of her hair, and begun working your magic as the demon begun humming in satisfaction.
You hear rustles and footsteps approach you, and then felt a presence behind you. You look up and were greeted by a gentle pair of crimson-hues that belonged to a certain slayer that you’ve learned to cherish so much.
“Hello!” Tanjiro chirped, a bright smile on his face.
“Hi.” You greeted back. You temporarily retreated a hand from Nezuko’s hair, and you patted the ground beside you. “Sit with me?”
Tanjiro lets out an incoherent noise, as blood started to rush to his face. Nevertheless, he nods and positions himself beside you. He’s glad that it was night time, so you won’t have to see the increasing blush on his face.
There was a soothing silence. Your eyes were fixed on the task ahead of you, as your fingers danced and weaved themselves through Nezuko’s locks. Tanjiro could only steal glances of your concentrated form, as his heart pounded in his chest.
In that moment, It felt like Tanjiro was going to be deaf because of how loud his heartbeat was drumming in his ears. He felt himself tensing up with how close you were, and he starts to draw silent breathes to try and calm himself down before he could make a complete fool of himself.
But he had trouble, just because a beautiful girl was sitting just beside him! And on top of that, you were bonding with his sister! He couldn’t stop a shy grin forming as he basks at the blessing in the form of [ Y / N ] [ L / N ].
Oh, how lovesick he truly was for you.
Tanjiro wondered, where will his words reach? Will that be enough for you to understand how much he cares for you? He’s afraid that one day, you might leave and vanish from his life. How much he wishes to hold onto you, so that you won’t have to be alone anymore.
How much he wishes to be your home.
The Burgundy-haired boy snaps away from his thoughts as Nezuko cheers and sings happy melodies, signalling that you’ve finished braiding her hair. Tanjiro observes his little sister’s hair and claps his hands happily. He was amazed by how expertly you turned Nezuko’s hair into a piece of art!
“Wow! You look beautiful, Nezuko!” He brightened, as his demon sister admired her hair with a satisfied expression on her face.
You chuckled, and Tanjiro could feel cupid shooting an arrow to his love-struck heart.
“I’m glad you like it, Nezu-chan!” You hummed, and laughed softly when Nezuko unleashed a big hug of gratitude at you. She pulled away after a few minutes, and fondly pats the top of your head. Tanjiro just stared, a soft expression plastered in his face.
Then, Nezuko stands up, holding up a pointed hand as if she was telling to stay where you are. She then turns around, and runs off to god knows where, leaving her poor brother alone with you.
You sighed softly, and you turned your gaze at the crimson-eyed slayer beside you. The corners of your mouth pulled up, as you gazed at the boy.
You can’t explain how much you appreciate Tanjiro. You’re forever grateful for him for saving you back at Mt. Natagumo. The last few months with him, you felt like living in a whole new world, as his soft, welcoming smiles embraced what was once your gloomy life. You gazed at him with such fondness, and his crimson-hues stared back with the same amount of warmth you gave him.
God, he looked so handsome under the moonlight.
“You know,” you started, “I wish that we could be like this forever.”
Tanjiro chokes out from your words. You wanted to be like this forever, too? His lower lip quivered, as he tries to mutter out a response. He noticed that your face had a red tint, and his mind screamed of how absolutely pretty you looked. He stutters, squealing noises coming out from his trembling mouth.
Your smile widened at how adorable he was acting, and his brain went overdrive from the amount of embarrassment he cannot suppress. In that moment, he felt like he was in heaven.
Thankfully, Nezuko arrived just in time, and she barely saved him from fainting from heat and shame. You averted your gaze from Tanjiro, and noticed that Nezuko was hiding something in her back.
The demon girl used hand motions to tell you to close your eyes, and you obliged. Then, you felt something being placed on your head, and Nezuko lets out a satisfied “mmhm!”, signalling that it was okay for you to open your eyes again.
When you got your vision back, you were faced with an absolutely red-faced Tanjiro and a proud Nezuko. You reached up to feel the object on your head, and felt flowers. You were wearing a flower crown! You beamed at Nezuko, eyes sparkling with gratitude.
“Thank you!” You exclaimed, and you can’t stop smiling just from how happy you were.
Nezuko cheers, clapping her hands contentedly. Tanjiro looks at his sister, and he’s proud that his sister has adored you, just as much he adores you.
If he thought you were beautiful before, you now looked absolutely breathtaking.
The way your cheeks have a flushed tint in them, the way you smiled with such glee, and how the flower crown seemed to complete you.
The stars shone brilliantly above everyone, and the Wisteria petals fell around you, giving you an ethereal glow. Not only that, all the sadness and resentment he picked from you before seemed to wash away. Now, he only picked up the pleasant scent of love and gratitude. You looked so happy, and he will forever cherish your radiant face for the years to come.
He could no longer explain the magnitude of his feelings for you, because all he could think in at that moment was how special and important you became to him.
–
Soon enough, you all recovered from your injuries, went through a brutal rehabilitation regime, and now it was time to go back to the real world.
You felt the familiar uniform hugging you, as you prepared yourself for a new mission. It was sad to think that your time at the Butterfly Estate was over, and it meant that you would be separated from your friends. You were especially upset that maybe, you could never see both Tanjiro and Nezuko again.
Everything felt bittersweet. The months you spent in the estate was total bliss for you, and you cherished every single moment. You sighed and recalled those memories, those days where you felt like you weren’t living in such a cruel world. Your brows knitted together, as your eyes started to water. You wiped the tears threatening to fall, as you try to recompose yourself.
After finishing up, your legs carried you to the garden, so you could see it one last time before you leave. When you arrive, you stared at the beauty of the garden. You had so much memories in the area, and you could only smile sadly when you accepted that maybe it would be the last time you might see it. Now that you’re back in the field, you weren’t even sure if you could last until tomorrow to be able to visit the Estate again.
“[ Y / N ]?”
You snapped your head to the direction of the voice, and your face softened when you saw Tanjiro.
He walked towards you, a determined expression plastered on his face.
“Hello, Tanjiro. You’re going to leave for a mission, I presume?” You asked, looking at his eyes.
Oh, how you would miss those eyes.
The boy nods. “I’m going to where the Flame Pillar is dispatched. Shinobu-san said that he could help me regarding my family’s Hinokami Kagura dance.” He explains. You put a hand on his shoulder, and offered him a smile.
“Good luck, then.” You said. You could only look down, as you felt sadness wash over you again.
Tanjiro just stood there, as you fought back the tears trying to spill from your eyes again. He, too, felt bittersweet at the thought of leaving the Estate after spending so much time with you. His eyelids drooped at the sight of you holding back tears, as sadness starts to engulf him. His jaw clenched at the thought that this could be the last time he could look at your [ E / C ] orbs.
The checkered-clad slayer musters all of his courage, as he takes a deep breath to calm his nervous nerves. He wanted to tell you all the wonderful thoughts he’d have about you, how much he was delighted to be around your presence all the time he spent in the estate. He was determined to see you again, to spend more time with you, to hold on to your hand without hesitation, and hopefully to grow old with you.
He wanted you to be part of his future, one way or another.
It was now or never.
He takes your hand from his shoulder, lifts your other hand, and intertwines them with his own. He stares at you, reassurance and confidence evident in his face.
“[ Y / N ], there’s… there’s been something lingering on my mind these past few months.” He starts, as his hands gently caressed your own, fingers rubbing circles to soothe you. His lips transform into a shy smile, as he chuckles lowly to calm himself down from the overwhelming feelings of embarrassment starting wash up to him.
“Ever since I saw you back at Mt. Natagumo, I’ve felt.. a strong urge to protect you. Just seeing you all battered up broke me, and you don’t realize how happy and relieved I felt when I saw you in the ward, alive and resting. If you didn’t make it, I.. I don’t know how I could forgive myself for leaving you to fend for yourself.”
You could only gaze at him, your lower lip trembling from the uncertain emotions that began to consume you. Your face started to heat up when you realized how close Tanjiro was. You could almost feel his hot breath fanning over your bewildered face, his calming palms holding yours so tenderly. He felt so warm, so intriguing, so fascinating,
And so absolutely wonderful.
“As I got to know you, I could always find myself getting red faced, with the feeling of butterflies fluttering around my belly that would never go away. At first, I.. I was confused.. I didn’t understand why I felt like this, why my heart would thump so hard whenever I see you.” Crimson hues started to look down, Tanjiro’s face getting redder and redder as each second passed by.
“But then.. when I saw you become so close with Nezuko, the feeling intensified.. A-and I could always find myself breathless when I.. when I watch you smile and laugh with her.” He looked up at you once more, his brows drew together as you could only look at him with warmth and compassion.
He squeezed your hands tighter, but not enough to hurt you. He trembled on the spot, confidence now being replaced by a sheer amount of embarrassment and shame, but he was determined. He was desperate, he wanted to show you how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.
“I want to see you again, [ Y / N ]. Please, I know it’s selfish of me to ask you of this, but please..” He whimpered, his eyes starting to well up in tears. In a flash, he embraced you, placing his head on your shoulder to hide his flustered expression. You were stunned, but as his warmth surrounded you, you immediately hugged back. You could feel his hold on you get even more desperate, feelings his hot tears starting to stain your shoulder.
“Please.. promise me.. that we will see each other again. I want you to know, that in your embrace, I have finally found a place to call my home. Just please.. please stay with me and you won’t have to be alone anymore. Promise me, that you will return, and I promise.. I promise you that I will always stay by your side.”
Your were trying to catch your breath, but that seemed impossible at that moment. Tears spilled from your eyes endlessly, as you sobbed and cried your heart out. You hugged him even tighter, as you tried to muffle your sobs in his chest.
“Why?” You manage to stutter out, as you proceeded on to cry in his embrace. His hands started to rub on your back, trying to comfort you. However, in the heat of the moment, you feel a sense of relief radiate from the boy. Tanjiro smiled softly, as he continued to lock you in his protective arms.
“Because you mean the whole world to me, [ Y / N ].”
–
The stars above appeared to glow brighter than ever before.
You walked across the clear field, the soft grass crunching beneath your shoes. The flowers around swayed with the breeze, as the wind sang soft melodies into your ears.
You were en-route to your next mission, which was located a few villages away. You continued on with your journey, as you pulled your beloved haori closer to you for comfort and warmth.
As you walk, there were sounds of Cicadas that sang all around, the tall trees that seemed to dance the night away, and the delicate touch of the soft breeze that eased your nerves.
You sealed your eyes shut, basking in your positive memories, as you recalled the way Tanjiro held you close as he expressed his love for you.
How you missed his touch already.
You chuckled quietly, thinking about the moments you shared with him that brought a feeling of nostalgia to your heart. Your eyes fluttered open again, your heart pounding as you put your hand on your chest. You felt the butterflies on your stomach, as you remembered the Burgundy-haired boy’s warm smile.
Ever since that day, you promised yourself to fight harder. Harder than you’ve ever fought before. Even when it’s all dark, you’d always look away from negative thoughts to push yourself forward. You would fight, and you would continue to fight, for every demon’s head you cut off would save the life of another human person.
You made a promise, too. You would fight and survive, determined to be triumphant in combat no matter what, because you promised.
You promised to come back to his arms.
“CAAW! A LETTER! A LETTER FOR [ L / N ] [ Y / N ]!”
The sound of your Kasugai crow screeching snaps you out of your thoughts. You looked up at the creature, and saw a tiny envelope attached to its legs. You snickered, as you already had a guess who the sender was.
Your Kasugai crow flew down to your eye level, presenting the envelope. Gently, you took the letter out of its grasp. You then rummaged through your uniform to find something to feed the crow. You smiled as pulled out your hand, and offered the crow a small rice ball. The crow takes the treat from your hand, crying out in delight.
“Thank you.” You called out, as the crow flew back to where it had come from.
You looked down at the small piece of paper on your hand, and you open it up to see it’s contents.
Dear [ Y / N ],
How are you doing? I hope you’re doing okay.
Me, Inosuke, and Zenitsu just arrived at the city where we would find Rengoku-san. I was overwhelmed, at first. There are so many people here! Though, it seemed like I wasn’t alone, because Inosuke kept clinging on to me the whole time.
Zenitsu’s leading us around the city, because fortunately he knew his way around cities. We’re trying to find a “train station”, where we could find the “train” where Rengoku-san is dispatched. Everything is so bright and advanced, and I was genuinely shocked at how technology was rapidly evolving!
Nezuko misses you, you know. When we departed, I could pick up the scent of sadness coming from her as we got further and further away from each other.
I miss you, too. So, so much. Oh, how I wished you were with me right now. How much I want to see your beautiful smile again.
I want to write more, but looks like Zenitsu already found the “train station” were heading towards. He’s already complaining about how I’m taking my sweet time writing this letter. Hehe.
Remember this, when you’re having trouble, remember that I’m always going to be with you every step of the way. Don’t get frightened when it gets dark. Instead, look up and see the stars, and I assure you, I will be looking at them, too.
Please, stay safe. I will always be thinking about you, [ Y / N ].
You mean the whole world to me.
- Kamado Tanjiro
You grinned, already feeling the flush crawling up to your face.
You looked heavenward, longing evident in your [ E / C ] hues. The stars twinkled, and the moon reflected your figure perfectly. You gazed at the stars, and you could feel Tanjiro looking at them, too.
“You also mean the whole world to me, Tanjiro.”
#tanjiro x reader#tanjirou x reader#tanjiro kamado x reader#tanjirou kamado x reader#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#demon slayer imagines#tanjiro kamado#tanjirou kamado#kamado tanjiro#kamado tanjirou#kny#kimetsu no yaiba tanjirou#reader insert#kimetsu no yaiba imagines
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tagged by @tevinter-pariah! sorry i completely forgot to do this sdhglkdfghj
1. Favorite Song at the Moment
lazybaby by dove cameron
i dont....think i need to explain myself. the brainrot has been substantial and has lasted almost 3 months. as ive said in other posts, i already loved her music, but THIS. THIS is what ive been wanting all along and quite honestly puts all her other singles to shame. (which sounds harsh but i just really prefer upbeat stuff ok)
2. A Song You Associate With Your Favorite Ship
i feel it comin by the weeknd
for mosh. the line “you’ve been scared of love and what it did to you” is what first gave me the idea. im actually working on edit rn with them and this song and im continuing to see how well it fits them, bc its all about not fighting and taking the beginning of a relationship slowly, which is spot on for them.
3. A Song That Could Be About You
rite of spring by angels and airwaves
ok mostly the chorus bc the verses are very specific lol. but the chorus is spot on me, every word, which is rare for me.
4. A Song You Think is Overrated
drivers license by olivia rodrigo
lees gonna kill for this one lmao. maybe its not my kind of music but it really blindsided me when this blew up as fast as it did, particularly bc ive followed a number of other disney stars music careers who couldnt get that well known even after a few albums, let alone one single. i also am just territorial with my fandoms and to see all these random people become obsessed with her in a day when id been following her for significantly longer and was just brushed aside for it is annoying.
5. A Song That Reminds You Of A Good Memory
untouched by the veronicas
it was like 5am on july 29 2017 and id just gotten home from seeing dove in mamma mia a few hours prior and still riding that high. and i cant stress how much i mean riding that high. ive posted about it before so some of you have been subjected to these stories already fjhgkjfdgjd. i laid awake just in complete bliss for literal hours simply because id just had one of the best nights of my life. this song came on my dash and i reblogged it, thinking immediately how from then on, i’d associate it with that night. and i have. the next year was rough, getting hardly any new content out of dove after 4 years of constant content which left me v understimulated, but just listening to this song would rekindle my love for her.
6. The Last Song You Listened To
break this down by the cast of descendants 3
i was hanging out with one of my fellow disney-loving pals and put my disney playlist on shuffle as i usually do with him. i usually skip the disney channel stuff when i do that but obvs i wasnt gonna skip this.
7. A Song That Makes You Laugh
hot stuff by donna summer
inside joke with my best friend. just gonna leave it at that. have heard it twice in the same antique store over the last couple weeks and lost it both times.
8. A Song You Want Your Mutuals To Listen To
taste of you by rezz feat dove cameron
need i say more. we’ve come full circle my friends.
i tag @iorde @browncesario @superbatson
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Aged up marichat where chat is being a little fart and marinette puts him into his place sassily. Angst in the beginning then shifting to fluff. But chat is justified in being stupid like he's not being whiny lol just a couple's quarrel LOL (since theyre in their 20s possoble mention at them having future kids and them being blushy bc they didnt do the shame shame bc theyre waiting for marriage XD) Lyyy scar
Heh, you're welcome @ravensink ! Don't forget to drop by more amazing requests! ;) 😏😈 Also: @miraculous-elcie-fanfics since you mentioned wanting to be tagged in my ML stories :3
"Oh? The princess isn't resting in her lavish castle with a maid massaging her feet?" the teasing voice cut through the peaceful silence and Marinette hung her head, already knowing who it was.
They've been at this for a while now.
Four years, to be exact.
She didn't turn her head to look at him, but acknowledged his presence when he jumped down from her chimney to land perfectly balanced on her balcony railing next to her.
It still amazed her how, even after he'd underwent growthspurt after growthspurt during puberty, with only her head reaching the very top of his shoulders now, he still managed to perfectly balance his large frame on the thin metal railing.
Marinette smirked at his banter. "The princess was waiting for her loyal servant to finally arrive and massage her feet for her. I must say you're quite tedious, loyal servant." the smug grin on her lips made the young man chuckle, shaking his head in amusement.
A fair eyebrow rose in question, mirth shining in those green eyes of his that had captivated her more than once, not that she would ever say that out loud. "Apawlogies princess, my services have been lacking."
The young woman laughed, the smile reaching her eyes when she glanced at him briefly. "Careful kitty, I just may be on the lookout for another tomcat." She winked and Chat had to admit it did funny things to his stomach, had since they'd become good friends.
More than that.
Comfortable silence settled between them, until Chat Noir spoke again, his voice dropping a bit deeper, more serious. "Marinette."
The use of her name made her finally turn her head, the bandage on her cheek catching the cat's eye instantly. "What?"
He sighed, swinging his legs over so that they hovered over the floor of her balcony and no longer in open air. "You should've called for me sooner."
She gingerly touched his shoulder, her smile warmer than the inviting blankets in her room. "I'm fine kitty, Ladybug saved me."
He scoffed, messy blond hair falling into his eyes. "She may always save you, but there will be a time where she can't."
Marinette sighed, knowing those words were very true, especially since she was Ladybug.
Not that her partner would know anything about it.
"Maybe...maybe there will be a time where I can't..." the solemn expression on his face and in his voice made her blood boil and Marinette leaned forward.
"Huh? Princess, wha- MEOWCH!" Chat Noir sprung back quickly, back slamming against the side of the wall as he cowered away from the lethal substance. "Hey! Cut it out! I thought we talked about this little lady!"
He hissed at the offending object held securely in her hand, a disapproving glare on her face. "Don't you 'lady' me, kitty! And I thought we said you would stop trying to protect me all the time! I'm a big girl Chat, I can protect myself!"
The woman with the hell spawned spray bottle in her hands crossed her arms and the feline hero deemed it safe enough to come closer when the deadly bottle wasn't directed at his general direction anymore.
"You can't protect yourself against akumas!" Chat Noir straightened to his full height, now a whole head taller than the angry dark-haired woman.
Marinette growled in frustration. "I did and I will! Ladybug and you may have super suits but I have enough brains to think my way out of a situation." the proud smile on her lips was there for a second, until her secret partner was on her again.
Chat Noir growled, a far more guttural and feline-esque sound than what Marinette made. "Don't be stupid! What if you get into a situation where brains can't help you?! What if you're trapped somewhere, kidnapped by an akuma or not even on land and far away? What then? Still think your creative mind can save you?"
Not willing to back down, no matter how pity their argument seemed, Marinette stood her ground. She knew Chat Noir had now way of knowing she was Ladybug, so technically she had the brains and the super suit. "I will think of something!"
Now it was his turn to cross his arms, much bigger than hers, from all the years of fighting against akumas and criminals and he leveled her with a deadpan look. "Evillustrator?"
Marinette gaped, surprised that was the first thing that sprung to his mind. "You were with me! Nathaniel was harmless! We'd been kids Chat Noir!"
He frowned. "Glaciator?"
She coughed, looking away. "Kids! Err...I was on a roof and distracted by all the candles you set up!"
His expression softened at the memory, but quickly hardened with his next inquiry. "Ignoblia?"
Marinette jaw dropped and she pointed an accusing finger at her friend. "Hey! She was a bit..too quick and...she was a superhero- villain!"
"Exactly! Proves my point purrfectly!" He smirked at the look of despair on her face, until Marinette turned her back to him and huffed.
"I see kitty is having a hissy fit!"
He didn't want to, but the jab still got him. That little minx. "How can I not when you constantly dive headfirst into danger?! Do you think I dont check every alley and every corner if I dont know you're home when an akuma strikes? I can't believe you can't see reason!" he ran his claws through his messy hair, messing it up even further.
The designer stomped her foot. "I can't believe you can't see reason Chat! Why do you even check every alley? I'll find shelter somewhere!" she rolled her eyes, irritation seeping from her every pore.
The brief pause that followed made Marinette turn her head and when she looked back at the suspiciously quiet cat, her eyes flew open.
His face was set into a deep scowl, protective rage shining brightly in the green eyes and when he took a large step towards her, Marinette nearly stumbled from his imposing presence. His voice was heavy with emotion but didn't lose its bite from before. "I just want you to be safe!"
She stared up at him, her hands raised and just shy of touching him directly, bluebell eyes blinking slowly.
Chat Noir's face was still set in that intense glare, chest heaving from his outburst, until a hand settled gently on his cheek.
He blinked, all traces of anger gone and he instinctively leaned into her touch. "M-Marinette?"
His face looked so vulnerable, so open, green eyes glistening with emotions when her name left his lips in a whisper.
"I promise..." she took a breath, but smiled warmly up at him, the hand on his cheek caressing him softly. "...to try not to get into trouble as often. And I'll have you on speed dial, okay?"
The man sighed heavily, but nuzzled her hand, blond hair still falling slightly into his eyes. "You better not furget princess."
The teasing glint was back in his eyes and Marinette gently flicked his nose. "I won't you worrisome cat."
He shook his head, smiling down at her like a lovesick fool. "Kittens...."
Marinette rose an eyebrow curiously, giggling in amusement while she gently petted his cheek like a cat. "What?"
"Our kittens will be adorable with your looks princess..." the words leaving his lips were dreamy and mumbled, the same soft look in his eyes.
Then, as if awakening from his trance, Chat Noir sprung away from the blushing woman. "N-No, w-wait! It's not- I didn't- I mean I did, but- NO WAIT!"
He covered his mouth with his hand, face an alarming scarlet, tail haphazardly moving on the floor, and Marinette swore if she'd taken a second glance, she'd seen for sure his tail was formed into a heart.
Marinette's entire face was a tomato red, her mind racing with mental images.
Of Chat Noir
And her.
And their children.
Dressed in little black cat ears and wearing ladybug themed masks.
"Eep!" the undignified sound made Chat Noir jump and it took Marinette a split second to realize it hadn't been her that made that sound but him.
Chat Noir covered his face, before he desperately tried to talk over his rapidly pounding heart. "W-Wait, it's not what it sounds like! I was- I was talking about kittens, from- from the streets and- and! Um, adopting them!" he looked everywhere but at her but Marinette couldnt bring herself to look away from him, transformed into a blushing, stuttering mess.
"Y-Yes! Pff-preciously! I-I mean precisely! Kittens! From the streets! To uh, to adopt! Not like a family or anything or uh - just uh, individually! As-as friends! Platonic! Completely platonic! I mean, of course, if you want- not I'm not forcing you, never, I mean you're my princess and lady, I could never force you, no way! No, I-"
A finger suddenly planted itself on his lips and Chat Noir's eyes flew wide open at the action, pupils zeroing in on Marinette.
A very red faced Marinette, who had a determined look on her face, stared up at him just as she stared down their enemies when in her super suit as Ladybug. "I...I think kittens would....would be fine."
Both older teens stared at each-other in petrified silence, until Marinette spoke again, the pink shade on her face growing darker. "B-But our own k-kittens...w-with Ladybug masks and cat ears...I-in a n-non-platonic way..."
Silence.
Ice settled in her stomach and Marinette's mind worked into overdrive to try and come up with a believable excuse.
Maybe it had been a joke! Of course! Chat Noir was known to make jokes!
Marinette froze when she was pushed into a solid warmth, surrounded by equally solid, warm arms around her back and one cradling the back of her head tenderly.
She could feel Chat's frantic heartbeat slowly settle down the longer they were locked in their embrace and before Marinette could form a sentence, Chat already spoke.
His voice was so quiet, she strained to hear it properly. "You know princess, I think I prefer them wearing their mama's suit more, but whatever you say m'lady."
Marinette's heart skipped a beat and she buried her face against his chest, shoulders shaking from laughter.
That dork.
Of course he knew.
But she had a little secret of her own, one she won't reveal just yet.
She smiled, her own arms wrapping around him tightly.
He purred in response.
Marinette's smile widened. "Only if they wear their papa's brand from time to time."
Chat's heart picked up in speed again and Marinette laughed.
#marichat#marichat fic#ml fic#ml fic request#aged up marichat#marinette dupaincheng#chat noir#ml chat noir#marinette x chat noir#one sided reveal#implied reveal#love square#protective!chat#ml fanfic
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THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!
LIVETWEET:
its painful to watch asada struggle with his food so much
NO NO THAT FLASHBACK IMAGE TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOL COACH NOOOOO
koushuu kiddo i get where youre coming from but this bluntness
when are we gonna get more kuki
all the fucks koushuu is supposed to give were transferred over to asada hlksjdfsd
LMAO the first person sawamura goes to is kanemaru
oh my god kanemaru like: its your fault
sawamura: i didnt do anything!
taku wyd on the floor huh?
OKAY BUT HE IMMEDIATELY TURNS LIKE HE KNOWS ITS KOUSHUU LMAO
asada's expressions are such HUGE moods
kuki i see you studying this interaction closely in the background hsldf
no okay but asada is SO SWEET WTF he stuffed himself so he could intervene before they had an actual fight im
WHY DO THEY KEEP SHOWING KUKI BUT HE NEVER TALKS IM
THIS IS INJUSTICE
lmaoo NOW you remember catch after worrywarting, sweet summer child
okay i dont dislike mukai but his cocky expressions HMST
someone: he wears the cap to cover his bald spot spare him sun
me: no no! he can wear his cap i just have a problem with how they drew it
did they just call him ume-nii lmaoo
something is off about nao and now i know what it is - he doesnt have that same perfectly placid smile that riles me up/ruffles my feathers
oho i love how umemiya sees sawamura on the mound there
the red lighting and the bg music somehow dont fit together but i like each individually
hmm miyuki i wouldnt completely parallel koushuu vs sawamura to sawamura vs azuma - the latter azuma was bullying nori while here sawamura is trying to encourage asada, though it might be a little pushy
tho i guess both koushuu and sawamura were both standing up for someone who couldnt for themself
YO i love this parallel to the time miyuki got mad about sawamura insulting chris tho - both miyuki and koushuu knew something sawamura didnt and acted upon it, however rashly, because they both feel a lot more strongly than they let on, not just about a teammate that they know is trying their best through a difficult time
kuramochi always turning to miyuki ah bless
i CHOKED ON MY TEA WHEN CARLOS CAME ON
as usual
no surprise there
look at my BOI getting DINGERS
justice for hirano tho
you shouldve hear my shitty giggling as someone said "carlos is hitting well"
i hope it was kuramochi
oh wait no i think it was toujou but thats also good bc both center fielder speedy bois
eijun... looking at someone else who made it to ace and seeing himself there
kuraharu das gay
kuraharumi? HMST
new firstie managers joining the sawamura fanclub
hell YEAH sawamura is a great choice but what about nori/toujou/etc
of course ochiai's mouth looks like that
sighs, JUSTICE FOR NORI
everytime they say "picchi" for pitching im reminded of the telugu word for "crazy" which sounds p much the same
are all pitchers crazy? lol. i mean you kinda gotta be under that much pressure huh
godd it means so much for the coach to have picked sawamura to start a winning streak
also i wonder if sawamura's fingers are super sensitive like my empath?
"sawamura-senpai is looking good" YOURE RIGHT TAKU AND IM GLAD YOU SAID IT
SEE THIS IS WHY I LOVE TAKU HE ONLY SPEAKS T R U T H"
its a shame that he's a relief pitcher" <-------------
AND EVEN MORE
TAKU CONCERNED ABOUT KOUSHUU'S REPUTATION AND CHANCES ON THE TEAM
"if only i'd been there" BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'D HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CALM KOUSHUU DOWN
-lies the FUCK down- KOUTAKU R I G H T S
ASADA YOU PURE BABY look at him admiring sawamura, and he wanted to play catch omgg
LMAO is this tetsu narrating his brother's amazing strikeout
i love it when the firsties are awed by sawamura-senpai
drink every time you cant see miyuki's eyes behind his glasses
oh gosh nori appreciating sawamura's numbers!
NOOOOOOOO TOUJOU AND HIS THOUGHTS ABOUT PITCHING
TOUJOU DESERVES HIS SPOT
HARUCCHI BATTING THIRD AYYY
kuramochi saying haruichi is really nice???????
also mochi running straight for miyuki's high five
omg koushuu's RUMBLEEEE in the preview
SUMMARY / TLDR:
asada you sweet sweet child
WE NEED KUKI /TALKING/
taku's Koushuu Sense are Tingling
mukai HMM
CARLOS AND DINGERS
SAWAMURA FANCLUB FT ALL FIRSTIES
NUMBERSSS
toujou scared for his spot :c
drink every time you can't see miyuki's eyes
If you’d like to talk more about it, I’m always down to scream about the good boys!
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omgerd Cindy, where do i begin?? they are pieces of shit low life subhuman scumbags that hate humanity, human nature, natural law, and have a god complex to use conditioning, bio, mental, and economy manipulation to reform anything they are against to mirror what they want it to be. They got a superiority complex, that they can do all things they accuse others of, and that they are allowed to get away with it. they seek to undermine, and cause chaos, division, damage, and spread lies based on their false beliefs that are unsupported by any measure, and form of reality, truth logic, and evidence. they also are hypocritical, they want the benefits of freedom, and capitalism - property rights, and all the good things that go with it like independence from the state, and then they claim the flaws, and horrific failures of socialism, and corporatism is due to capitalism. the fuckers resort to indoctrination, propaganda, lies, fear, intimidation, threats, social engineering, shaming tactics, and exploitation to further their selfish goals of planting themselves, their lemming envious hateful cult minions in positions of power as they mask themselves behind equality, human rights, and any other thing that they can co-opt as they destroy it from within as they praise themselves as saviors and the most virtuous, the most accurate thing you can compare them to is a fatal ugly disease. And their grand daddy impregnated his maid, and kicked her out on the street, and Marx is hailed as a feminist XD cant make this shit up, it fits the cunts perfectly because they are the opposite of what they say they stand for. but that the problem with people that fall into it, they think they are being part of something ‘’virtuous’’, same thing happened with the poor mislead victims of the People’s Temple aka Jonestown cult. political correctness is what enforces the marxist dogma onto society. and political correctness is an oxymoron and based on lies and batshit theories cooked up by morons that couldnt give a shitty fuck less about society. p.s ‘’commie morality’’ is also an oxymoron, i cant believe there are retards who think that or any form of morality linked to the far left is an actual thing lol they are relativists, morality means nothing to them. speak with survivors from the soviet union or the chinese that fled from communist china, they’ll tell ya how fucked up the modern left’s embrace of their totalitarian ideologies are ;) if the dead could talk you’d get more out of the mountain of millions corpses caused by the far left tyrannical leaders last century >_^v
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one of my biggest insecurities is not being nerdy enough or not liking certain things,,, hailey literally dropped me bc i didnt watch naruto. rin treated me like im dumb. and sometimes i feel like i dont fit in bc i just dont play certain games like with hq i was the only one who didnt play league so id just never join calls
its more of a "i wish i was included" type of feeling bc i never am, so many times im excluded from simple activities im like???
literally once andrea and jen ordered take out 5 minutes before i got home and didnt order my any even though i just worked at 8 hour and got off at 7, another time they decided to go out shopping for groceries and other stuff and as soon as i parked they left. which is why it pisses me off when andrea talks about how i "never hang out with her anymore" shes the one who does things w/o me
i may be introverted but i dont like being alone, i like talking to people
idk what it stems from tbh the first time i remember this happening was when i was at sheilas house and we were talking and watching tv in her living room, her friend luke got online and she just got up and went and played minecraft w/ him- they would never vc or anything she would just always drop me to go play mc with him even if i was at her house,,, i couldnt even play with them since i didnt have my laptop with me but? she didnt go to school so the only time we could be together is if id come over and that was rare, i guess it just hurt
this is so dumb i know but i just like talking to my friends, i think in the past like year this past month is the most haley and jade have been on discord all of us together
theyre my best friends but at the same time i feel like i dont have anyone to call my best friend
not me crying at 3am :) but im also just mad i dont have stable friends, as soon as i think i do they start being shitty like rin and lia- rin talks shit about lia to me and vice versa, we're not best friends we never were we all know that, now we dont even talk anymore lol
sometimes i forget i was friends with karla, she just turned 17 and i forgot to say happy birthday. but i remember when she publicly shamed me on twitter for being a virgin and then she would always talk about how i should just drop out when i was too depressed to care about my school work, she had a crush on me too which was a whole thing by itself
anyways this made me sad, i hope 2021 gives me more secure friends and being included more
goodnight
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MORE PERSONASONA THOUGHTS
Actually maybe it could be cool to imagine a design for a phantom thief whose mask is like a full face-covering thing? Like a faceless mask. or a mask with a buncha eye symbols on it. OR maybe the persona has that aesthetic, I dunno??? One of the beta protag designs in the artbook has a mask like that, but with a smiley face covering it. That + an all-concealing cloak = a pretty damn cool aesthetic! Even if it didnt fit the protagonist its a shame that they didnt give it to another character, so I might try and make something with a similar appeal.
MORE POTENTIAL THINGS THAT SHOULD BE PERSONAS
Bunnies of myth! There’s the Jackalope (a bunny with horns), the Wolpertinger (a bunny with horns AND wings) and Al-mi’raq (a bunny with only one horn, also said to be one of a kind and incredibly powerful despite being regular bunny sized) And there’s apparantly quite a few other tales of powerful horned rabbits from all different countries and time periods! O_O I was totally under the impression that the Jackalope was just made up in semi-modern cryptid legends, and didnt really count as a proper mythological creature. Rasselbock is the german name, and that sounds really awesome! Also there’s apparantly a hella mysterious recurring symbol of three hares attatched at the ears in an eternal circle, which has appeared in multiple cultures across the world and nobody knows its meaning.
Okay I LEGITIMATELY DID NOT KNOW that Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream is given neutral pronouns in the original form of the play! O_O I mean, the pop culture version is always male, and in school when we read it the character was taught to us as male! I feel totally destroyed that I missed a chance to learn about LGBT characters in history during my school years... Holy shit I REALLY wanna pick Puck now! I always love trickster figures!!
okay i really do not know much at all about folk heroes/classical literature heroes but I do know one from my country at least! Taliesin (tally-essin) was a kind of robin hood esque figure who gets all the same ‘did he actually exist? is he a myth? did a real man exist but was exaggerated in myth?’ stuff. He was a super magical poet bard dude who was magically blessed with the most witty tongue in all of existance because he stole a potion of super knowledge from a witch as a child. It also made him super beautiful cos the witch’s son was super ugly, I always felt REALLy sorry for the poor witch’s son cos seriously she made this potion for him and some random kid stole it and then he’s never mentioned again except to say that ‘he was so ugly that everyone who saw him died, so he made a career as a warrior’. Poor guy. Man, I actually like Morfran a lot better, can I make him a persona? He’s not really a hero or anything, he only gets like two sentences in someone else’s story but I just wanna give him a hug. It also always bugged me that the description of his ‘ugliness’ mentioned how his skin was ‘so black he was like a human crow’ like seriously screw u ancient mythological racisms... ANYWAY thats the only celtic mythology character that’s interesting that hasnt already appeared as a persona, lol. Tho since most of the personas that’ve appeared have been the scottish and irish versions, Finn MacCool was the equivelant to Taliesin. (Same origin story and everything!) The disadvantage is that his name sounds like a shitpost. Also incidentally its really fuckin sad that the only canonical depictions of LGBT characters in welsh myth are all like.. Problematic As Fuck Negative Depictions. I used to like the character Math Ap Mathonwy but then I read the story where he punishes the villains by turning them into a pig and a sow and making them rape each other and get pregnant... as punishment... its so fucked up.. And they’re like the only gay characters ever, and they’re also incestuous brothers, and just... so fucked up... The bad side of getting a mythology Special Interest as a kid: pretty much every mythology has at least one horrible sex story in it!
I’m really interested in learning more about Tu’er Shen! He’s apparantly a chinese deity of gay blessings, the spirit of a mortal man who was executed for loving other men and reincarnated as the form of a magical rabbit spirit. I hope he ended up finding true love in the spirit world... :( Seriously, even friggin mythological figures are dying from hate crimes. I don’t think people were very optimistic when they created this story, its horrible to know that society still hasnt progressed far enough that this bullshit has stopped happening! Cmon, seriously!! Please say the future is gonna be safe, someday! I can just imagine Tu’er Shen looking down on us and still crying.
Huh! Persona 5′s homophobia also manifesting in a weird unintentional way! They mention how one of the ways everyone attempted to get the sun god Ameratsu to open up her door was ‘someone doing a lewd dance’, and there’s a joke about Ryuji being that person. But I had NO IDEA that originally the person who did that was Ame No Uzume, another female deity! And it seems pretty damn ‘LGBT themes in mythology’, i mean the dialogue is Ame No Uzume saying ‘come and admire how perfect I am’ *points at crotch* I mean they probably couldnt mention all the explicit details in this random cameo mention in a persona game, but seriously would it have been so hard to just say it was ameratsu and ame no uzume? I suppose maybe since its a japanese game there was the assumption everyone would know the myth tho, so its more of a failure of the dubbing.
And then there’s a lot of themes of androgeny and gender-changing in Hindu and various african mythologies, but I feel like I’d have to do a lot more research into those cultures to depict them accurately. Its a damn shame that barely any european cultures had that level of respect for LGBT people so long ago, yet we like to act like we’re the height of progress and assume every other culture followed along the same historical template as us... I’m really interested in learning more about Dahomey mythology, wikipedia says that they have a genderless creator deity who split into two male and female twins, which then combined again into a different bigender deity. (Nana Buluku, Mawu, Lisa and Mawu-Lisa) And apparantly in zimbabwe there’s a shona deity called Mwari who is also genderless. I really don’t know anything about these cultures though, and there’s no way I’m gonna be drawing dumb anime versions of people’s important mythological figures based on just a wikipedia crawl! But at least this has inspired me to wanna go learn more. Also it just makes me feel a lot happier about myself to know that its not like there’s zero genderless people in all of mythology, just because my country has always been hella bigoted ^_^ But man, wikipedia’s list of LGBT figures in mythology is really REALLY focused on only depictions of sex, and it counts all the super negative stereotypes and shit of villainous rapist gay folks and people being ‘punished’ by being turned into another gender. And then any sort of positive interpretation is all THIS IS TOTALLY JUST AN INTERPRETATION HERE IS ALL THE EVIDENCE FOR IT BEING WRONG, YOU CANT IMPOSE MODERN IDEALS ON MYTHOLOGY NOBODY WAS EVER GAY BEFORE THE WORD EXISTED IN ENGLISH SO yeah its really demotivating to me to continue reading this and just Yikes with a capital Yikes. I’m gonna try and find if there’s more sources online about LGBT mythology education written by actual LGBT scholars...
#psona-ing#i made myself sad#seriously its so horrible to know that lgbt folks cant even get a break in mythology#and that SO MANY of the only depictions of us are either as evil monsters or at best a tragic tale of dying horribly for being gay#man i wanna go research the countries where we aint historically hated forever#curse you western civilizatioooooon
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Berkeley's Mayor and liberals everywhere: “this was a peaceful protest that was coopted by violent anarchists from outside of our community”
(Very basic, basic background checks of social media reveals one of the rioters who repeatedly beat an incapacitated man, then gloated about it on twitter, is an employee of the university with a $70,000 Salary)
mhm
ACADEMIA C A D E M I A
The left loves to fucking do this. They harbour or participate with, WILLINGLY AND IN FULL SUPPORT OF, violent agents within protest. But then disavow it to the media and claim to be opposed to this. Every time. Yet never do you see these violent people being forcibly ejected by the peaceful protesters. And I know, because in my time while i was black bloc, i would kick over shit like newspaper boxes during protests n marches i attended. i would then just return and blend into the crowd. Some would come over and high five me or smile and talk excitedly about my direct action. Never was i chastised.
Funny enough, when gamergate happened, the left were furious and outraged that moderate gamerg8rs frequently would do the same. GGers would repeatedly say they disavow and have nothing to do those who were committing harassment, but in actuality would tacitly support or commit it themselves from a puppet account.
Once left wing tactics are flipped back onto the left, suddenly it’s a fucking disgusting problem worth decrying.
There was even a famous comic spread far and wide across anti-GG progressive social media making a point of this outrageous tactic they unfairly experienced by GG:
Yet these same people would never react or police their own the way they demanded GG to do when some 18 year old lost their job because progressives doxxed them then bombarded that teenagers workplace with complaints because of a tweet they made the #gamergate hashtag...
Another hilarious tactic the left wing protesters do is this amazing thing right after or during the moment some guy is beaten and violently put down by violent people in that march, and you will see it in footage most every time.
You will hear a chant rise up from the crowd surrounding the violence that goes
PEACEFUL PROTEST! PEACEFUL PROTEST! ad nauseum
Yet, again, you will notice nobody chanting steps forward to save the dude getting jumped (usually a decent guy or two will step forth eventually once the beating becomes too outrageous to do nothing about)
The purpose for this chant, explicitly by people who start it, is mainly to gaslight any potential viewers of video clips of this violence into thinking that the majority of the crowd does not condone it. It’s like lashing out at someone while crying STOP ATTACKING ME.
But yeah, the breakdown of such protests are like, a 60, 20, 10 split.
the first 60% of the protest (or more, depending on the turnout) are liberals or curious onlookers who are there for solidarity after seeing wheatpaste posters about the upcoming protest at bus stops and campus billboards. These people generally know very little about what is going on or who they are opposing, but trust in the people who advertise it that those they are facing are nazis or whatever. These will be the people who are here out of their own good conscience to carry chants and be there as a body in opposition to the right wing. These people are peaceful and will be those who will be that one or two aforementioned decent guys who will step in to protect a dude when violence gets too outrageous.
However, they are primarily there to be useful for the remaining 40% in their effort to Shut Shit Down.
The second 20% of protesters are organizers and radicals who are versed in direct action and will step in to protect the herd and tend to cleanup of anything should violence occur or things get too heated. They are the people who push their way into the path retreating antifa make as they return from direct action and to block any police or decent guys in the 60% trying to grab them. They will also be the people who will go home and update the event facebook page to say “We do not condone the shameful violence that occurred last night at our stage in by people from outside our campus, they do not represent our community, yadda yadda”
Watch what happens from 30 seconds in (note: not anything in defense of Lauren Southern, but to make example of left wing protest tactics) and you can get a general sense of this 20% in action:
youtube
The 3rd 10% of the protest (or less) are the muscle of the protest and are the people who will instigate and continuously seek ways to attack the opposition or commit vandalism. Unlike the second 20%, these people usually aren’t the sympathetic organizers (because they lack the stomach or courage themselves), but these are the people the organizers want to attract. Some of these people (antifa, black bloc, anarchists, etc), organizers and radicals in the 2nd group personally know. Though a good many of them are lone wolves unrelated to anyone in the protest (in most, i fit this bill in the past). And yeah, indeed, alot of them can come from outside the immediate campus community. But when you are advertising your protest on online left wing forums, in co-op coffee shops and around town, you are hoping for and deliberately inviting this.
Most of this 10% will mill about in the crowd and most will restrain themselves from any violence (otherwise they will be arrested early, like most teenaged black bloc noobs), but are constantly scanning for police/security and seeking openings to jump out and deck a dude. They can potentially be peaceful for the duration of the ENTIRE protest if it’s small and disappointingly chill enough. This is where they rely on the organizers to swell the crowd to a point where rage and the thrill of a mob can be infectious, making the 60% confident enough to confront and debate their opposition at the front line in raised voices. This often gives the opening for the roaming 10% to leap in, snatch a MAGA hat, sucker punch a distracted opposition member and so on.
And when that happens, you will soon see subsequent other 10%ers leap in and do their own direct action. And you can see this often in videos of anti-trump or milo protests, where a row of guys APPEAR FROM NOWHERE and STRIKE a guy distracted while debating with the 60% and then retreat again.
But sometimes if the timing is right, the energy of the crowd is at a crescendo and if the security is overwhelmed to a degree where they cant immediately step in, the 10%ers will gravitate toward the edge and all leap out at once
and let me tell you, its all instinctual and the adrenaline rush is AMAZING:
youtube
Watch all the lower rungs of the 60%s who’ve never attended rallies before and Milo fans shout no in the aftermath.
But yeah
thats all in comprehending this shit
I saw the ORiginal screenshots in some guy’s post, but i couldnt reblog them because they*cough*gop-pub-tea*cough* blocked me lol
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OKAY I FOUND SOMEONE SCANNED THE JAPANESE VERSION OF THE PERSONA 5 ARTBOOK!!! I’m still preordering the english version though. And this seems to have a LOT more text info and interviews than other artbooks I’ve got, so the english version will still be enlightening even though i cant resist the temptation to read this preview here... So yeah, I’m gonna link this in case anyone else wants to see! And also cos i really wanna talk about the interesting stuff AAAA!
IT HERE
But seriously I would feel ALL OF THE GUILT if I just read this and DIDNT buy the real version when it comes out in my country. So I’d heavily advise that all of y’all buy it too, okay? Its just real hard to wait til september.
Bunni’s Thoughts About Things In This Thing:
* The one everyone already seemed to know was Yusuke’s beta design, I think it was shown in an english interview or something? But yeah, I already knew about this, but I still really think he looks even cooler with long hair! And I like that they ended up using this design for his mother instead. That just feels like a really sweet way to deal with beta designs! Apparantly Ann’s design was based on Rise’s beta design from the last game, so its nice to know that atlus always tries to find ways to keep promising ideas, even if they dont work with the current project. ANYWAY BETA YUSUKE OF CUTE
* Also unrelated but: did you know that Yusuke slapping people during the Harisen Recovery skill was actually a GLITCH and not a feature?? It strikes me as weird that they didn’t catch that in the super long time it took to finish the various dubs. Its a meme in japanese fandom too, so its definately in every version of the game! They only just patched it recently and I AM SAD NOW. It fit really well as an easter egg for this character in particular, lol.
* ALSO I am sorry that i commonly misspell his name as Yosuke. Its weird cos I never get Ryoji and Ryuji mixed up... ANYWAY BACK TO COOL BETA TALK AND NOT JUST YUSUKE LOVE TIME
* Beta Wakaba (futaba’s mom) used to have the hairstyle that was given to Haru instead! O_o She looks really cute with it, I guess they thought it was hard to make the shadow boss scary with such awesome hair. There’s also a beta doodle of what seems to be an alternate introduction scene, where the party would be walking down an alleyway and her giant face would appear behind them as a jumpscare. I THINK I WOULD HAVE FUCKIN DIED! that’s some fuan no tane shit!
* Man I didnt even recognise beta kawakami! O_O I would have thought that was beta takemi, or even yusuke’s mom again...
* Oh man, Sae is already one of the coolest and most beautiful looking characters but seriously beta Sae has EVEN MORE of that badass butch lady handsomeness holy shit. If I can appreciate her aesthetic so much as an asexual person, I can only imagine how other fans would feel about this!
* I have legit no idea who this character is, but she looks badass! Its a shame this imgurl dump of scans is completely out of order, lol! Another reason to buy the official version when its translated: actually knowing the context of things! XD
* Same design for papa okumura’s shadow, but it seems there was originally an idea for a chase minigame with his shadow. Instead of being weak with an army of reinforcements to fight thru, he’d be weak but keep fleeing in his motor chair thing. Considering how much I DESPISED the chase minigames in Nocturne and DDS2, i am really damn glad they didnt do that...
* BETA PERSONAS!! Wow they’re so different?? Its weird how they seem to be like.. different art styles/personalities for the same character idea? Maybe this was from before the personalities of everyone had been pinned down, or maybe the personas originally belonged to different party members? i’m really curious by the goemon in a modern punk style, did he belong to ryuji??? MORE BETA PERSONAS!! Oh holy SHIT, johanna is SUCH a good design! like... what?? BADASS!! typical lady pope face attatched to a buff as fuck body in a jojo-esque costume, with like an encapsulated hat thing with halves of a mask of a cliche male pope. This design has way more to do with the actual story of that mythological figure! Popecycle was cool too tho, I think maybe they should have made someone else be popecycle, and then johanna could be the second persona using this design and taking the place of Anat.
* Beta Ohya has a nice design! Its not even necessarily a cooler costume or anything, I just like how they try and show her personality more through it. She looks more dishevelled and overworked and has some bandages. Dunno why they couldnt have worked that into her final design!
* BETA MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK jesus christ thats almost as creepy as some of the beta Teddie designs I mean, I like using swirly eyes on a lot of my mascot ideas too, but that sort of face just looks a bit unnerving along with the body being like.. all leather and weirdly detailed. Its like ann’s costume but on a damn cat! As its skin! What!
* Some goofy expressions of final design morgana that ended up not being used.
* Beta Iwai looks like a younger AZ from pokemon??
* Beta design for protagonist’s thief costume and persona, which were WILDLY different! I like the all-concealing cloak, it looks like it would have animated really flashily. Tho i totally agree that showing more of protagonist’s actual design works better for the version of him you’ll be seeing 24/7 in battles.
* Not a beta design, but look at this concept art of Makoto beating up everyone. I love makoto so much.
* Aww I kinda prefer the beta costume for [spoily endgame character]. It makes her seem closer to [other two characters of relevance to her]. I mean, not like I dislike her costume, but I really liked [those two characetrs’s costume] so hers seemed a bit boring in comparison. Having it at least have more similar design elements to other [people in that place] would have gone a long way towards making her seem less like just... Alice, as a person isntead of a persona. (It would have been a cool plot if that was her backstory tho, lol!)
* I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE BUT I LOVE THEM! Are they rejected Confidants? Or designs for characters mentioned in confidants who never appeared? i wish we got to see the sick lil girl in takemi’s subplot, it would be cute if she looked like that design there.
* Another beta of Milady! She used to have the same design but different weapons would come out in a different way. Knives instead of guns looks a lot scarier, but I dont like the weird garbage disposal mermaid thing, just from the fact people would inevitably make vagina jokes.
* Beta Futaba was very similar but just with different outfits. She looks really cute with a beanie hat and EVEN MORE becomes Literally Me As A Character. Seriouslyyyyyy
* Also we never get to see the mounting animation for futaba’s ultimate persona. I like it a lot better cos robot hands come out and carry her to the cockpit, instead of weird tentacles. Seriously, again, inevitable pile of stupid sex jokes about that. *sigh*
* A nice bigger reference of P5 Loki design, without all the SFX and stuff during that boss battle. I really like the way he sits on his sword sassily, and how it levitates around instead of swinging it normally. I also never noticed he has hoof-like heels! With that and the long ponytails it kinda looks like they were trying to give him an eight limbs sort of look, so maybe the design is meant to invoke Sleipnir?
* HEY. UMM. HOH. LEE. SHIT. I guess this kinda counts as beta cos we never get to see this, even if its part of the final design?? Seriously, I thought the shiny red bit was like the visor of his helmet, not a mouthpiece! LOKI’S HORNS COME OUT OF HIS FUCKING EYEBALLS! What the FUCK, they should have shown some sort of animation to make that clearer, that would be SO scary and fitting for that particular boss fight!
* A few beta outfits for our heroes! Ryuji originally had a clown mask instead of a skull, and Makoto wore a jacket with a biker gang logo, in addition to everything else biker gang. INCREASE BIKER GANG! Eeeeeven more beta outfit designs! Some more cyberpunky thing for ann, and a blue colourscheme protagonist, and a character with a sledgehammer who seems unused. There’s Iwai’s gecko tattoo there, so maybe originally his role was gonna be a school-aged ally instead of an adult shopkeeper? or maybe his son would join the party? The hero also originally wore Arsene’s top hat, and there’s this mysterious pic of two characters that I dunno who they are?? They look like twins, so it makes me wonder if that means there was originally a gender choice for the protag...
* A lot of storyboards for scenes that never happened! There’s a female character we’ve never seen before, so maybe that adds more to the theory of a rejected fem!protag option...
* Beta Ann had a bunch of different ways they tried to make her look like catwoman but not too much catwoman. She also used to use a crossbow as her ranged weapon!
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One of my other fave cuddles is my gengar named gaspar! I’m really filled with love for him too right now cos I’m learning ev training and apparantly he ended up being perfect for a speedy build, which just seems so cute and fitting for his personality! ^_^ I’m a bit tired so i dunno if I’ll ramble as much about him but here we go!
Gaspar is also a good friend: The Post
He also has a lil story behind how I got him, I think his is the more silly one. See, he’s actually a sinnoh reminder of mine! There’s one ~absolute asshole~ npc in sinnoh who offers you a trade of a haunter for a kadabra, but then when you get it you find out it had an everstone attatched. So she got a trade exclusive evo and left you without yours, and this is friggin AN INGAME NPC! It was so memorable to me because i got trolled by nintendo personally! XD So i wanted to spite that npc by adoring that haunter so much forever. And I kept him for the next decade and loved him a many! I actually kinda got attatched to him being stuck as a haunter forever, cos I didnt have any friends to trade with. Haunter has always been my fave of the evo line, even if i preferred its early design where it was shadowy and had a glowy outline similar to gastly. (I think that stopped in gsc? it was always pure purple in the official art but the spritework looked SO much better...) So I actually ended up irrationally upset when he finally evolved by accident during a trade like six years later. i totally forgot that he even COULD evolve! I feel bad that i was upset at my friend I did the trade with, I knew it was irrational but I still whined like a lil baby. I was all ‘ugh now he’s FAT’ like a stupid hypocrite XD But now that we have mega gengar and i have my own gengar plush at last, ive grown to like it a lot more. And honestly id still be just as attatched to my pokemon even if they completely change appearance, its not like I hated gaspar just because i didnt like the species as much. IM SORRY GASPAR FOR MY DUMB POUTING! You are so cool you changed my mind on gengars!!! Also its a nice excuse to redesign his really old gijinka form I drew once:
Anyway, his personality is a big ol childish goofy lug! He’s kinda similar to the personality i ended up headcanoning for my rotom gizmo all those years later. honestly i always have a sort of perspective on how all ghost pokemon fundementally are, even tho i still try and give them their own personality too. All ghosts are some form of cheerful tricksters, okay! Gaspar in particular is a big snickering lazy loaf of hugs who is absolutely addicted to sugary junk foods. ‘The wonders of the modern world!’ Even though he’s kinda procrastinatey about actually doing what he has to do, he’s very hyper about pulling pranks on everyone and generally being kinda like Loki from norse myth? He’s a bit more morally flexible than the others, or its more like he has trouble remembering what a lot of stuff was like from being human. (I’ll get to his backstory in a bit!) He’s definately a well-intentioned guy but he can be very scary to his enemies, and sometimes accidentally cause problems for the group cos his vices are easily manipulateed. He tends to get stringed along by his ‘ghost instincts’ to pull pranks even when its self destructive, and he always jumps in without thinking. A candy in the middle of a blatantly obvious trap = he registers the candy part and only gets the rest when he’s already captured XD But also he’s probably the member of the older pokemon that’s the most open about his affections. He’s one big ol jolly hug to everyone who asks, and everyone who doesnt! Even though him and Reaper can both be sly together, he doesnt understand this young man’s strange fascination with pretending he doesnt have emotions. Gaspar’s one big driving force behind all his various quirks is that he’s flawlessly honest. He finds it hard to keep quiet when he’s joyous, and everything is made of joy nowadays! He’s just really happy to be alive right now... or, well, “alive”. But also his easily exciteable nature means he blurts out all secrets with no restraint, and has trouble not throwing a childish tantrum whenever the tiniest thing goes wrong. Though, still, he’s very rarely ACTUALLY angry, and will forget about it in like ten seconds. he just kinda enjoys making a fuss XD Then again on the rare occasion he is mad it is because you HURT HIS CHILDREN, and you will really get to see why gengars are known as spirits of vengeance...
So yeah! Backstory! This was actually the first thing I thought up for him, and it shaped his whole character. Again, it all came from that one weird ingame trade! ‘Gaspar’ felt like an odd name to give a random trade, I mean its a cute pun but also its like an olden times name you dont hear often. So I imagined maybe this ghost is the spirit of a human from long ago, and obviously he’d be excited to try modern junk food, etc etc the beginnings of a character! But cos I am blessed with the ability to create sad headcanons out of everything, I... did that! Alas! I somehow got a really sad idea for who this mysterious old human nobleman could have been. I thought maybe he was a guy who was murdered and came back from the grave to take revenge on his killers, but then had to deal with still being stuck here even after his big quest was finished. Making a new life because he cant go back to his old one. Initially the idea was that he was a guy killed on his wedding day, hence the tuxedo in that old design. But he ended up feeling more like an asexual character as I developed him, so thats a bit outdated now. He’s just like the dad of a thousand kids and no wife. Its good that he’s finally happy nowadays with all these new friends! A shame it took that long though, he can barely even remember who he used to be. (A more cynical part of him thinks that maybe going senile is the only reason he’s able to finally let go, and he wonders if he missed many other chances to make a new family cos he was so hung up on mourning a life he couldnt go back to...)
Anyway, even though his powers were born from rage and hatred, he finds that becoming a ghost is the thing that helped him forget all of that. He just has kind of a childlike joy for this stuff. He claims its ‘pokemon instincts’ or whatever and he had no part whatsoever in his own development from a scary anger man into everyone’s dad, but honestly that just seems like he’s making excuses not to give himself credit. there’s nothing here but the fact that his fundemental nature is a kind man who can find wonder in the simplest of things. Yknow, when he isnt being distracted by great tragedy! It was just like ‘wow i’d never thought about it but gaining the ability to fly and walk through walls is pretty kickass’. Think of all the pranking potential! And he proceeded to distract himself from his loneliness by haunting the graveyard and running around wearing bedsheets. But at the same time sneaking around the town and doing good deeds for everyone, even if they were all terrified of him. And no matter how sad he got, he could be cheered up by the tiniest thing like just being able to see the sunset again. He always remembers how scared he was thinking that he was gonna die at such a young age and never get to do so many things... And then his loneliness started easing when he realized he could talk to other pokemon now, and he worked up the courage to leave his grave and travel the world in search of a new place to belong. Then... he ended up with a bunch of shitty trainers!! But at least thankfully he was finally traded to our protagonist and now things are looking up ^_^
Oh and yeah thats why his old design looked so young, even though he was always meant to be the oldest team member. (Not just chronologically I mean, he’s like 300 but he’s like middle age by ghost standards.) Tho really saying he died at a nebulous teen-young adult age was just my excuse because those were the only people I was able to draw at the time. And i was dumb and thought every other sort of more creative design was ‘ugly’ and everyone should be a generic anime bishie :P Honestly redesigning him to look like a cool cuddly butler or a circus ringleader or all the millions of gengar gijinka ideas would be a HUGE improvement for his character! Even if he’s childish he’s still the team dad, yo! Im just worried that I won’t be able to draw a spoopy action pose again, I always felt like that first pic was a huge fluke. It was my best piece of artwork for like four years straight, I barely ever improve :P Also I really liked his hair as a haunter, but funnily enough I designed him like a few months before Charon was revealed, lol. Now it just looks like i tried to copy him! Bishie teen gaspar loses a bit of the appeal when he’s stealing looks from old men XD I’m thinking maybe he could have a cute mustache of some sort now, in the shape of ghosty spikeys? or a top hat that’s spiky on top, or a bunch of other ways to make him resemble gengar’s mohawk without actually having one. Nothing against that hairstyle but it maybe wouldnt work for a middle aged stay at home dad whose greatest form of punk activity is eating frozen poptarts out of the box.
OH WAIT Maybe he could reuse this design I did of myself as a ghost for a meme??
“chubby characters are something I will never draw ever, they can never look cool” said the past bunni, continuing to be incredibly chubb srsly ditching the self hate and doing some stylization lessons is the only place where i can admit my art improved!
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