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my room is such a mess 

ive been going through it for like 2 months now

i need a break

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i take school slow i look stupid i take school too fast and i cant handle it and ill fail

no winning for me

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i stoppy cry i do hw now and i wont have time to do the bio so thats an L for me haha 😂 

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i genuinely feel so stupid in this class i do not understand a single thing

i got so overwhelmed i wanted to rip my hair out and then i ended up scratching my arms till they burned

i dont wanna seem dramatic i just dont feel good enough for this rn

maybe this would have been different if i didnt have to work yesterday or today at 4:30 am which caused me to sleep all day bc i was told about this shift at midnight

and i hate complaining to zach because he works more than me and takes more classes than me and still get things done and it lowkey just makes me feel worse because how is it that i cant do it when im doing significantly less

maybe its my period or maybe im just stupid but i hate subjects like this that i dont understand i just wanna be done already

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im visiting this page once again to say hello

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why am i so jealous

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i also feel super lonely, yes i see my bf now but he has a life and i still dont have one

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been pretty good except for the day i contemplated cutting myself, did i mentioned i went 3 years clean then just ended it, super fun

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i dont feel like enough

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"and if the world stops

all i want is a little more forever

with you" - wilder

me and zach may be miles apart but truth is i have never felt closer to a person

when i have bad days i try to remember that it doesn't matter if what's happening in the now because in the end it will get better and we'll be together, thats all i want

this past year i have experienced so much happiness and i am so grateful to have such an amazing person in ny life

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havent been here in a sec

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shaking and crying lol am i okay

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maybe im depressed, all my thoughts are irrational and i know that but i cant stop them from flooding my mind

this will pass

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not greys anatomy talking about 14 year olds being virgins, and then they bring up trauma and now im thinking about stuff that happened and how its affected me

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update on the last post ima go to starbucks and tip them what i got today at work, maybe i can make them happy too

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a customer at work gave the person at window $2 to give to me :3 i guess she liked how i took her order

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idk how im gonna do it, its barely friday and i wanna go home and im about to tell heather that for the next few months im available wednesdays too