#SAT Live Classes

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

While Edwin’s more than a bit stand-offish and definitely not the most tactful, I never did get the sense that he doesn’t like people - in fact, I think his insistence that he’s “not good with people” and his general emotional detachment/disinterest has a lot more to do with his assumption that they don’t or won’t like him.

And while that’s very sad to think about… it’s not as if his belief here is hard to understand, considering his past experiences. But it’s left him quite guarded and lonely, and of course, the more he isolates himself from people other than Charles (and even here, he allows himself little vulnerability), the more he reinforces this fear that people won’t like him, and the less he allows himself to properly sympathize or empathize with others, which is why his friendships with Crystal and Niko and Monty (short-lived as that was) are so important. Once he started to let some of those walls down, to not be so scared of vulnerability and to be around people who allow themselves to feel and want so readily (to live! who allow themselves to live without fear of loving!), he’s really not nearly as bad with people as he seems to think he is - and, in fact, he’s actually quite good at saying or doing the right thing for them when it really counts.

[corvid-language-library]

One of the schools I work at has a new teacher and she observed my lessons this week to see how they were run. I think we're gonna work very well together :D First thing she told me was basically she wants to organise the classroom because the back room is a disaster and she can't find anything (I was like YES I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR MONTHS THANK YOU). Then she complained that the Japanese teacher she'd observed didn't really use English during her games she basically just used them as an incentive to get the kids to finish the textbook task, so it was more like "okay let's get this boring English over with and then we'll play a game" (which honestly explains a LOT about their attitude). Then when the kids started coming in she said to me "I'm only going to use English with them unless I absolutely have to, because otherwise it defeats the point of you being here" and I'm like yessss finally someone who gets it.

Also she's like 50-something and doesn't take shit from anyone and has basically already told the company they're not going to bully her into working longer hours because she wants to go travelling and have lunch at nice cafes and see her friends but also she has like the calmest vibes ever and was SO patient and calm with the kids, like there is legit nothing that phases that lady and I'm like yesss I want to be you when I grow up.

[faaun]

little bit worried abt the class difference ngl

[cerealmonster15]

assorted jamiazus

[not-the-blue]

self portrait with mandolin

[vagueconfusion]

it is late so I'm going to be a lil too vulnerable on main and then probably bury it so it doesn't get seen

sometimes I still get really upset that when my mental health took (even more of) a dive when I tried college my family mostly left me to deal with it on my own. and I struggled with it really hard for almost a decade. the only thing bringing this up would do is destroy or strain relationships that I rely on to keep myself housed and safe, and I also still love them despite everything.

but it hurts to have lost such a big chunk of my life while repeatedly asking for help, and sometimes being told yes they would help, only for it to rarely materialize. lingering in this only paralyzes me though, so I'm trying to learn to let it go but it's difficult

[spaghett-onaplate]

using the school bathroom stealth but pre-t is the scariest fucking thing but thusfar it's always been fine. mostly sucks on my period

[ashorterurl]

wow so great to be on a train and be afraid for your life

[tennybird]

it turns out actually going outside for an hour and walking is good for you. who knew

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

[fingertipsmp3]

Last night’s dream was the first one I’ve had in a long time where I wanted to fall back asleep and stay in it/experience it again

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

realised the reason my heart issues freak me out is partly because unlike any of my pain it’s harder to just deal with it or find ways around it and also it could be a lot more dangerous than most of my other day to day medical stuff and also it was one of my cancer symptoms

[saturnsuv]

.

[mobbothetrue]

I’ve recently picked up splatoon again, and I was doing a buncha turf wars to build up my splatfest tee, and I wound up doing a few matches with this guy going by starlord. First match, no connection, but between matches I went over to hang out on Judd’s bench, and they joined me. Had a great time hopping around. Second match, we’re on the same team! great! Between matches we hang out on Judd’s bench again, pure vibin. Third match, and we’re on opposing teams.

I, of course, can’t do very much in this situation. There’s a very aggressive L3 on their team that keeps hunting me down, and I doubt they’ll let me initiate a party, but I don’t wanna kill my buddy. So, my compromise: they’re the only reef-lux user, so with all the determination in my little octopus body I’m gonna avoid killing them.

Half the match passes. I decide to try and make entry into the enemy base, I go up the stairs, and turn to find a reef-lux pointed at me. I raise my sploosh on instinct, but as soon as I register the bow I stop shooting and start going back down the stairs; too late. I’m splatted. ‘Aw,’ I think, ‘oh well, that’s fair.’ The camera, as it does in splatoon, focuses for a moment on my killer. They’re staring at the spot where I died. They enter swim form. They throw themself off the nearest ledge. man, human connection :) good :). I didn’t get to party with them again cause my switch shat itself and disconnected me, but I did send them a friend request which they accepted

[juiseed]

leaving barbie thinking about how badly i want even my most mediocre to be validated. but no! a perfect woman is only tolerated.

[t4tstarvingdog]

okay normal now