#Ruin fucked me UP
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Getting a little too silly,
#shitposting#vocaloid#yes I have things I need to get done#but consider...#when I first read it#I binged Ruin and part of Remedy all in one night#Ruin fucked me UP#in a good way#I'm normally not the psychological thriller type#but ohohoho boy#I have thoughts about these fics#and the urge to just reread them all is strong
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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cringefail exes oh my god
#sry for not drawing skk for four posts here u guys go. eat up#“i hate bsd so much i'm fucking LEAVING” i say as i make no effort to disassociate with the fandom or the show#i miss how i used to view skk😔😔😔😔😔 the silly lovers to enemies who are still clearly infatuated w each other after seven years#their backstory ruined me i hate it here#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.
The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.
Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!
Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!
See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!
So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!
She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.
(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)
This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.
Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.
Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.
So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.
The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!
The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#mad science#supervillain community#bonus points if you can pull out some super niche comic villain#justice for kite man#local child of a crazy chemist: so you know that trick you showed me with the soda and the reaction that could turn into just like all foam#Danny: yeah and also back the fuck up#lcoacc: so it’s been like my comfort food right but like I started wondering what you could do#danny: oh no (he says while making what amounts of an overachieving smoke bomb)#lcoacc: so I was like what if I add more of a base to it so it could be solid and then maybe just like a LIL acid to see what happens#Danny: oh ancients#lcoacc: but then the killjoy supes came in a ruined everything from where I was ruining lex Luther’s day#Danny:… did you get in on camera#lcoacc: OF COURSE. oh also like everyone ever if coming over for a sleepover lol#Danny: WHAT I CANT FEED YOU MONSTERS#lcoacc: no worrries we’ll rob a bulk store or something lol#Danny: nO
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In Knives Out Blanc wanted to do the murder mystery investigation with Marta so bad, but she was certain she was guilty so she spent a good amount of the movie avoiding/hiding stuff from him
Meanwhile in Glass Onion Helen was fucking carrying the investigation, even while accidentally getting drunk, and even went to investigation lengths Blanc was hesitant to do
#knives out#glass onion#ko: marta actively ruins evidence due to her perceived guilt. blanc knew the entire time she was innocent or ill intent#go: helen fucking diving forward to eavesdrop on duke/miles/whiskey better. helen tossing a tape recorder in birdie's bag. helen listening#in on lionel & claires freak out at the pool. helen did all the research on her sisters journals to get as into the role as possible#marta only standing up for her rightful inheritance at the end after everything vs helen down to ruin those shitheads from the start#i love these movies & the duality in the chars/victims & how it ends. marta gets the house. helen burns miles' down. its just!!!!! AHHH#i just rewatched knives out again so i can rewatch glass onion again tomorrow. im so normal about this series#tc posts#*of ill intent gdi. tumblr mobile let me edit tags
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i understand the desire to make Jeremy secretly fucked up but y'all i will be so real. man would be a Fox if so. to me it is funnier to make him absurdly normal. yeah his parents are divorced but that's fine. just... making him Normal would be the hardest thing for Jean to decipher and in MY mind it makes more sense for Jeremy to be just. painfully normal.
#i see y'all's headcanons but i am ignoring them lol#also - unrelated to jeremy - i will be SORELY disappointed if anyone at USC has mob ties bc that entirely defeats the purpose#they're just supposed to be a normal team with a fucked up bundle of trauma wandering into their locker room#to me anything different will ruin the vibes
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Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring
#screaming crying moaning throwing up#screaming crying wailing#i need him#i ruined it#fuck i want him#i wish he was mine#i need them#why me why me why me#bpd problems#bpd splitting#bpd triggers#bpd#bpd favorite person#bipolar 2#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked
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The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.
The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.
He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.
Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.
If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars
If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.
In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.
In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.
And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.
Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.
Also little footnote here that I think this is a reference to the moon over the mountain but I digress
#bsd#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#nakajima atsushi#idk#on the floor wallowing in pain as we speak#bungou stray dogs#tagging is hard and i’m lazy#I love the Atsushi trauma dumping for no reason headcanon too#but I have to complain about it not being canon accurate#just don’t put it in fanfiction ok that’s all I ask#Guys let atsushi be painstakingly vague about his past in peace stop ruining it#atsushi#Atsushi hated pain#but pain had been an intimate- dies#anybody have fanfic recs with this concept or do I have to write them myself#idk guys you’ll just never catch me writing anything where the other characters truly understand Atsushi#sorry#Kunikida will never be written to know what the fuck is wrong with him for as long as I live#He just gives up#at some point
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"Once a brother, always a brother, no matter the distance, no matter the differences, no matter the issue."
#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#pep art#i love them your honor#batfam#batfamily#i love those pre red hood reveal fics#where some bad guy wants to impress jason by fucking up Nightwing#and Jason is always like#fuck you guys... i had like a 32 step plan and you ruined it#thats my brother you assholes#and dicks like#bro wtf why is the crime lord who carried around severed heads in a sports bag rescuing me
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#i'm here to ruining EVERYONES DAY#tw: torture#i felt like more people needed to know the lore about the arkhamverse because it's absolutely gut-wrenching so hehe ur welcome for the pain#the fact that bruce did try and find him for so long makes me wanna scream#cause ya know they make it sound like he gave up really fast and just abandoned him#but he did try for SIX months? up until he thought jason was dead? (and yes we can debate that he should have known but pls it's a game)#(they needed that to happen for the story so blame the writers)#just as jason had hope for several months that bruce would come for him!#and that makes me so fucking feral#“finally gave up the search” stop stop im crying im not okay#oh my god bruce and jason melts my brain#jason todd#jaybin#red hood#batman: the arkham knight#batman#arkham knight#the arkham knight#ak jason todd#arkham knight jason todd#joker#dcu#jasontoddedit#my gifs#info from wiki and so#this is truly THE saddest version of brujay honestlyyyyyyyyyy#i also like the “mentor and ward” aspect :3#he was likeee 18-20 here i believe?#:(
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really strong desire to just consume the dubious potion while wearing the cursed amulet while chanting the forbidden spell while disrespecting the gods while trespassing on hallowed ground while ignoring the prophecy while breaking my promise to a witch while looking directly into the serpent’s eyes and agreeing to its dark bargain. on the off chance that i get turned into a fucked up monster
#please#please just fuck me up#i dont care about the specifics of what i become#just absolutely ruin me#make my visage anathema to mortal eyes#make my name unspeakable#make it impossible to tell that i was once human#vent#personal post#tf#tf kink#blasphemy kink
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do you ever think about how in the day i picked up dazai side b dazai had to lie emotionless and soulless—like a corpse, almost—beside the man that gently brought him in, nursed his injuries, held him while he was in pain? he had to keep those suffocating bandages around his entire face, lest this man gain some sort of recognition for the little boy he saved. he had to lay there curled in the fetal position, bleeding and in pain, perhaps thinking about how, in another life, this man cooked for him, tried to build up his strength. read to him to pass the time while he curled up against him like a child listening to a bedtime story. played cards with him. saw through the heartless mafioso. the ruthless killer. and instead saw a boy.
imagine knowing this man, the man who saved you in more ways than one, was going to die one day all because he knew you. because he reached his hand into the darkness and plaintively, like a small child wanting a parent's touch, you grasped back desperately. imagine thinking all of that while that man is just a stone's throw away, making coffee in the next room just like he used to for you in another life. the scent, although you've never been here before, is reminiscent of home. and the tune he's humming? it's the silent melody that plays through your mind seven years later, for the last time as you fall backward off the building with your arms out like an embrace. but, hey. that man is alive. he's happy, although he never knew you. you can die with no regrets.
#guys i actually cannot stop thinking about oda and dazai someone save me PLEASE. the day i picked up dazai ruined my fucking life#dazai makes me so fucking miserable every time i see him in beast i just start fucking sobbing#absolute TRAGEDY of a character#he was fucking fifteen in this. and he knew the entire time. he knew oda would die. before even meeting him#bsd#the day i picked up dazai#ermmm found this in my drafts and i wanted to post it sorry guys i sound emo asf
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"You're laughing. Terrorists got their junk blown off and you're laughing."
Well, yes. I hope they're afraid of teapots and scales for the rest of their miserable lives, thanks for asking
#terrorizing the terrorists sounds good to me#beep beep mfs#you ruined and ended so many lives across the middle east and you got what you deserved#don't expect me to cry tears over terrorist pagers blowing up terrorists#fuck hezbollah#jumblr
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pyramid game is such a perfect little drama for the sapphics because you've got a whole demented psychological thriller going on about high school girls creating a whole fake social class system that results because one bored little princess bitch thought it'd be funny, and you've got all these dynamics that can only be boiled down to some kind of love story because like. ye lim and eun jeong's dynamic? the princess idol and her athlete bodyguard. soo ji and ja eun's dynamic? the cold mastermind and the compassionate heart. even whatever da yeon and seol ha have got going on? typical hitter and loyal dog dynamic. the list can go on.
#caroline talks#pyramid game#like da yeon is an awful person but as soon as seol ha spoke up. like her first words were about how she hates ha rin#for having da yeon in the palm of her hand. like. okay. gay.#i also think a lot about ha rin and ja eun. like i despise ha rin so much but there's something distinctly gay about that behavior.#oh you see ja eun happy? you're obsessed that ja eun's happy? and now you want to ruin her for it?#i know that deeper down it's all a commentary about social class and how the uber wealthy and uber powerful will find new and creative ways#to screw over people who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds. because at the end it's really all about power#and how ha rin cannot fucking STAND not being seen as the silent ruler of the class#this got away from me. yes it's all about power.#it is also a bit about gay lust. it can be both <3
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