#Reylos seem to have forgotten what went on

[chevelleneech]

@alligatorjesie

I was talking about my experience with a portion of the fandom, not the entirety. I was there, I saw the things people were saying and how things were twisted to excuse the racism. Especially the push that John had no respect for and was over sexualizing Daisy.

Again, ship whatever you want, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Reylo. It doesn’t do it for me, but that’s fine. However, as I pointed out, a portion of that same fandom is now clinging to Oshamir and seemingly projecting their long lost Reylo wants and entitlements on to them, and it’s not fun for me to see. Which you only further prove my point of, by dismissing what I’m saying.

“Why would racists ship PoC?” because some of them don’t care that Osha and Qimir aren’t white, solely because to them it’s a matter of vindication. They don’t see them as new characters, but as Reylo stand-ins. Which is why I also said, if either Amandla or Manny say a single thing the racist and entitled fans don’t like, they’ll be hit with the same backlash as John. Don’t play the fool.

Back to the point though, I’m wasn’t talking about every single Reylo out there. I’m enjoying the fan art and theories, and a lot of it is coming from Reylos, but that doesn’t erase what was. A lot of the hate John got was purely racist, and some of it did stem from him not shipping Rey and Kylo. In fact, a good example of that brewing again is the fans who are trying to uplift Osha/Jecki over Oshamir, in negative ways. Not everyone, but we all saw that account on Twitter (and the many who co-signed) trying to make it seem like killing off Jecki was to sideline a lesbian ship. When really, Jecki was underage, was she not? But also, Dafne Keen is white, which speaks to the fandom racism overall.

The Star Wars fandom as a whole is not welcoming, which I also stated. Amandla is being talked down upon solely because they’re Black, and Kelly Marie Tran was treated horribly during her run as well. Not by Reylos to my knowledge, so I’m not pretending like they were the ultimate toxicity within the fandom. They weren’t, but to act as if it was 100% in defense of Daisy is disingenuous.

So if we focus on what I said, which was seeing so many of them on my feeds now, and seeing how a lot of them are using Oshamir as a sort of shield to ignore how things went down, rubs me the wrong way. It makes the Oshamir fandom not as fun, for me. It doesn’t mean every Reylo here was a weirdo back in the day, but maybe you’re white and simply don’t get it? I don’t know.

Either way, the topic of the post wasn’t up for debate. It was me expressing my thoughts about being an Oshamir shipper.

Lastly, yes, Reylos party in the Oshamir tag, but you can’t expect people not to tag Oshamir posts accordingly to avoid angering other shippers. The “Oshamir” tag is Osha and Qimir’s playground, and while I will be sure to not go out of my way to offend anyone, I’m not going to not post my thoughts. So if you don’t want to read anything else I’ve got to say, that’s fine. Block away, because biting my tongue to avoid potentially offending Reylos in a tag that does not belong to their fandom, is not happening.

To other Reylos who may read this, understand I’m not coming for your ship nor your entire fandom. I’m talking specifically about how seeing racist undertones from some Reylos in the Oshamir fandom is reminding me of what happened in the past. If you aren’t or weren’t one of those people, this post nor my previous one is referring to you.

[bimswritings]

Games and Prizes

Warning:none

Ships: Reylo/Finnpoe

A server event that I recently took part in, with the prompt I received being carnival for @perry-the-rebelpus! I've never written for in show ships but I loved doing this. It leans more towards fairs since that's what I have more experience with, but never the less, I hope you enjoy! I also took a more modern AU approach as I felt it was the best way to tackle this!-Bim

_______________________________________________

“Really Rey, we don’t have to do this.” Kylo tried to convince her for what felt like the thousandth time, and most likely was. Ever since she had discovered he had never been to a fair, she insisted on going, even calling and finding someone to cover her shift at the mechanics. The stubborn girl wouldn't have it though, ignoring his protest as she hopped off the motorcycle, grabbing the helmet from his hands and tossing it along with her own under the seat.

“Nonsense. Carnivals are an important part of growing up.” Her hand interlocked with his own, guiding him in the same direction as the crowd that was steadily streaming in. Ranging from families with excited and energetic children, to young couples such as themselves. “There was one that came through town every year when I was a kid. My parents always took me for a special treat at the end of the harvest.”

Rey’s eyes took on a softer, more distant look. One that Kylo knew all too well. It was the same one he got when talking about his own family, feelings of both sorrow and yearning for better times. Times that, despite how much they both may want to, they can’t go back to.

He lifted their intertwined hand, bringing Rey’s attention back to the present as he placed a light kiss to her knuckles. A small smile curved her lips, and they continued on to the increasingly bright lights of the carnival, the setting sun only highlighting their peaks further.

Once inside, they were quick to buy their wristbands for the rides, Rey practically bouncing with excitement the entire time in line. As soon as the offending neon green bands were in place she was pulling him towards the rides, her eyes bouncing between each one.

“Oh, let’s go on that one!” She pointed towards what could only be described as a giant wheel. It was as if a ferris wheel had been taken and laid down on its side, with the seats all inverted and its spinning capabilities dialed up a thousand.

“I’m not sure. Those seat belts don’t look like they would do a very good job of keeping me from flying off.” He eyed the offending items warily, to which Rey simply rolled her eyes as she pulled him into line.

“Children go on it and live. I think you’ll be fine Mr. ‘Tall and Brooding���.”

It didn’t take long for their turn to arrive, and it seemed like only in the blink of an eye were they strapping into the seats, the ride operator barely giving the belts a tug before moving to his operating booth in the center. With the press of a button the ride was whirring to life, slowly picking up speed until they were all but plastered to the side of the ride. The seats they were strapped to began moving up slightly, and it was only now that he noticed they were on rails that allowed them to move up and down with the increased G-force.

The pressure pushed his face back, though nothing he wasn’t used to. It was hard to focus on the ride with Rey beside him however. Her laughter spilled above the loud whirring of the ride and excited and terrified yells of the other riders. It was something he would never get used to, with how carefree and joyful it always sounded. Something he would always strive to hear as often as he could. Nothing could compare to the gut churning reaction he had when he heard it, though the sight of her stumbling, off balance and clearly still slightly disoriented, as they got off the ride came in a close second. It did nothing to deter her, still smiling as she pulled him to the next ride.

On and on they went, ride after ride all evening. It was only after she had proceeded to destroy him in bumper cars time after time that he suggested they go and get food.

“We can ride a bit longer!” Rey had tried to protest, not content to take a break until they had ridden all the rides at least twice. It was the first time she had been able to go to such an event ever since her parents had passed, and she was determined to make the most of it, even if she went a little hungry. Her stomach seemed to have other plans however, cutting her off in the middle of her protest with a loud growl of its own. Her cheeks flushed as Kylo chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and steering her towards the vendors. All night the smell of the overpriced and greasy food had been tempting him, though he dared not to eat any of the potential nauseating treats while Rey was still determined to ride so many things that spun.

After paying for a slice of pizza each, as well as an almost comically large elephant ear to split afterwards, they settled down on one of the far tables away from all the action.

“Thank you.” Rey spoke, finally breaking the comfortable silence that had developed as they watched others pass by. He cocked his head slightly to the side, confused and prompting her to clarify further.

“For agreeing to come, I mean. I know places like this aren’t really your style.” She grew suddenly shy, finding her fingers more interesting than anything else at the moment. Her nails nervously picked at one another, though there was nothing much to pick at. Years of working at the mechanics had left them short and cracked in places, much tougher than you would think for the rest of her looking so soft. Yet her hands were one of his favorite things. Hands that held his own softly, as if they weren’t the hands of a man who had killed dozens; that would softly card through his locks while absentmindedly laying on the couch. Hands that would hold his face close, brushing over each scar tenderly as she whispered soothing words for minutes, hours. As long as it took.

He thought her hands were the most beautiful things in the world, both then and now, as he took them in his own.

“For you, I would go anywhere.” He leaned in closer, locking games as he lightly pressed his forehead to hers. She was warm, her skin almost burning in contrast to the cool night air. Though it was anybody's guess how much it was due to her body temperature, and how much was caused by the quickly rising blush that consumed her face. “Especially if I could see you as happy as I have today.”

“You two really need to get a room.”

The third voice took them both by surprise, so wrapped up with one another that they hadn’t even noticed their audience, and in his surprise Kylo jolted forward, bashing his skull against Rey’s before falling backwards off the bench and landing painfully on his tailbone.

“Finn!” He heard her joyous shout. Propping himself up on his elbows, he spotted the named man, who was currently receiving a hug from his girlfriend, as well as Finn’s own boyfriend.

“Dameron.” He nodded, climbing to his feet as the man returned the gesture silently.

It wasn’t that they didn’t like one another, quite the opposite actually. They held nothing but respect for each other, both having spent time in the air force. The only rift came from the fact that Kylo had run more covert missions, often flying solo or with just a single partner, while Poe was in charge of and flew an entire squadron. He thought of him as more of a mercenary, while Kylo would consider his potential wasted on such general missions. Still, the greatest offense in his eyes was still the fact that he had chosen to date someone from the marines. The marines. Of all the branches, he had to choose someone from the one known for shooting first and asking questions never. The two might have never seen each other after serving, yet fate had other plans; of which being in the form of their respective partners having been best friends through high school and college. They had only met again by chance after moving to the same small town in hopes of living a quiet, simple life.

“I should have known you guys would be here. You’re never one to miss a fair.” Rey continued, moving back around the table to sit next to Kylo once again, who was still rubbing at the sore spot on his head, briefly wondering what her bones could possibly be made of to have not even flinched at such a hit.

“Maybe if we told you, we wouldn’t have to be subjugated to your nauseating sweetness.” Poe teased, leaning across the table while Finn rolled his eyes. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you Ren. There’s children around here you know.’’

Kylo said nothing, only gathering their trash and standing, the rest following in suit as he spoke.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again, but we were about to continue our date night and-”

“You guys should join us!” Rey cut in, taking him by surprise. Even if it was her best friend, she was never really one for group outings, preferring just one or two other people.

“It would be just like old times!” Finn agreed.

Kylo was about to protest, and from the way Poe had opened his mouth he was too, but before either male could get a word out the two had already linked arms and were strolling away, deeping in conversation and leaving their dates forgotten. So, begrudgingly, the two men followed.

By this point night had fully set in and the activities of the fair were in full swing. Brightly colored tents lined the venue, creating makeshift paths that helped to funnel the large number of people into a form of organization. It seemed that Rey had had her fill of rides, as she and Finn continued on deeper into the games and shows section that ran along the outside. Here, vendors yelled and mocked, teased and prodded; anything they could do to get the attention of the passersby. Games of skill, strength, and pure luck, though anyone with half a brain knew that the majority were all rigid. Above and lining all the booths were more stuffed animals than Kylo had ever seen in his life, and though some of them he found creepy and downright ugly, he could see the appeal of some.

“Hey Rey! Look!” Finn pointed to one of the stalls, highlighting a create he had never seen before. It looked like a penguin, except the eyes were far too large, and it lacked a beak as well as the stark black and white of the animal in favor of more neutral tones.

The two were at the booth in a flash, the vendor already talking to them as Kylo and Poe caught up. Just from the looks of the man, Kylo immediately didn’t like him. He had spent enough time around others to be able to get an accurate read on them, and this guy had the same shifty, fox eyed look to him that all new recruits who were too big for their breeches had.

“Well hello there.” He leaned in, far too close for Kylo’s liking, and he felt himself tense, his pace quickening to reach them as the man continued his speel.

“Feel like testing your luck against the mysterious and dangerous kraken to free one of its victims.” He gestured to the creatures above.

Rey was immediately digging in her bag, looking for her wallet with Finn doing the same beside her. Before she could get too far however, he was there. Stepping between her and the booth, he pulled his wallet and slapped the five dollars on the counter. Poe did the same next to him.

The vendor collected the money with one fell swoop, tossing two balls onto the counter for them to load at the suction cup guns laying there. He did so with ease, the object feeling almost childishly small and fragile in his hands as he raised it to the target; a kraken shaped cutout a number of feet away. A spiralled target rests dead center in the middle of its forehead.

He fell into proper shooting position naturally, bringing the poor excuse of a sight to eye level as his arms locked.

‘Pop’ ‘Pop’

A jolt traveled through his body. Not because the dinky little object had any form of recoil, but because of how far he had missed the mark. The ball had barely even glanced the side of the creature, and from the look Poe had he had missed just as badly.

He shook it off, ignoring the amusement he felt coming from the two beside him and blaming it on the simple differences of the object from what he was used to. Of course it wouldn’t fire like a normal gun. Expecting the accuracy to be anything more than lacking would be stupid of him. Now that he knew just how off it was, he could adjust accordingly. Both paying for another round, the shooters were loaded and aimed in seconds. Going of where it hit last time, he raised the end a bit and brought it slightly to the right.

‘Pop’ ‘Pop’

They fired again, and again they missed.

“Oh, too bad my friends. I guess you’re not as skilled as your little dates thought you were.” The vendor taunted, sending a wink Rey’s way.

Feeling anger quickly starting to rise within him, there was no way Kylo was about to give up now. He paid another five, giving him another ball.

Then another.

And another.

And another.

Several minutes and thirty dollars later he was nowhere closer to winning, his shots, instead of coming closer, were going more and more astray from the target. With each miss his anger rose, and Poe was doing no better beside him.

“For the love of-”

“Ah ah~ Watch your language.” The vendor smirked, only making his temper worse. “There’s children around here after all. What example would you be giving them if you showed how much of a sore loser you were.”

Kylo genuinely thought he was going to hop over the booth and wipe the smug smirk from his face. A gentle hand brought his attention as Rey gently pried the shooter from his grip, a concerned smile on her face.

“Hey, let me have a shot at it.” He hesitated, not wanting her to feel the same discouragement and embarrassment he currently was. The look in her eye stopped him short. It was the same look she had whenever she was working at the shop or on his car at home. A look of utter confidence in what she was doing.

The three men stared at the two friends in astonishment as they high five, already moving on to picking out which of the stuffed creatures they wanted.ly the same position he had been in early, evidently having taken Poe’s place as well. The vendor leaned in closer, Rey clearly doing her best to ignore him as she focused on the target.

“Now sweetheart, what you’re going to want to do is-”

The familiar simultaneous pop of the ball leaving the suctioned end sounded, just as it had with his previously. Unlike their attempts however, instead of silence the pops were answered with the sound of a loud buzzer and the muted cry of the kraken as its eyes lit up red.

The three men stared at the two friends in astonishment as they high fived, already moving on to picking out which of the stuffed creatures they wanted.

“The one in the very back! He looks the softest!” Rey exclaimed, pointing. There was nothing left for the vendor to do but grumble as he grabbed the creature, along with Finn’s choice. All but tossing the animals he was quick to shoo them away, his persona turning from sour to cheerful on a dime as he lured the next group in to the nearly impossible game.

“I just don’t understand.” Poe shook his head in disbelief. Finn gave him a comforting squeeze.

“Rey and I grew up with these games every year. We’re practically professionals.”

“Yeah.” She nodded from under Kylo’s arm, which was thrown around her shoulder. “The vendors hated us. We nearly got banned the one year when we were going around seeing how many we could win before they closed.” They both laughed at the memory, leaving their boyfriends to simply shake their heads.

By now it had grown late, the group foregoing to visit any of the barns due to Poe’s hay allergy. They could always come back tomorrow. After walking the other couple to their car, they made their way back to their Rey’s ride. After pulling the helmets from under the seat, Kylo was surprised when Rey tossed the stuffed animal to him.

“Here.”

His brows furrowed questioningly as he glanced back between her and the creature.

“Are you...are you giving this to me?”

She nodded, slipping on her jacket to protect her from the wind.

“But you were so excited for it.”

“You said that you’ve never been to a fair before, so I assume that you’ve never gotten one of the ridiculously large stuffed animals from one.” She spoke, turning to him. “It’ll be a nice way to mark the occasion. Besides,” she smirked, moving to pull her helmet on. “,it's not like we don’t share a bed anyways. He’ll be there no matter what.”

With that she pulled on her helmet, tilting her head cheekily before tossing her leg over the bike. He climbed on after, his chest feeling lighter than it had all week as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The stuffed animal was sandwiched safely in between them, ready for the journey home.

There was no one more perfect for him, and he reminisced on the fact as the bike roared to life underneath him. He could already picture the stuffed animal and how ridiculous it would look in their otherwise modern styled and well kept room. Normally all the small trinkets and knick knacks Rey would bring home were restricted to her hobby room, him not being able to handle the clutter they created. This however? This would fit perfectly in their room.

She still had to be the one to name it though.

[spinnenpfote6]

#BenSoloDeservedBetter

Tbh, all of Ben’s scenes were powerful/meaningful and had me bawling in the thatre today, but I still think they kinda wasted his character, or better, missed a lot of opportunities with him and didn’t handle his story arc well:

-He had little screen time/dialouge (the “No one knows me”/”But I do” bit didn’t even show up??) and barely interacted with characters other than Rey, as well as being directly talked about by the other characters. Would’ve loved a short argument between him and Hux or a heated meeting between him and Finn/Poe to see how their reactions would have changed.

-Leia didn’t mention him while talking to Rey (really missed such a part), didn’t react to his redemption because she was killed off right before, but she also didn’t even do so at all as a force ghost. It’s kinda upsetting to me that she seemed to pay attention to Rey, who is essentially a stranger taking her name, than to her own son redeeming himself and dying for his love.

- Ben’s death is what bugs me the most. I get that it was him making a selfless choice, sacrificing himself for someone he loves rather than a selfish choice against and sacrificing someone he loves like with Han and I appreciate that it was essentially him finding peace and realizing whom he loves most and what makes him happy but... idk it felt so small and unimportant in the context of the movie to me. Partly because he was so isolated from/ignored by the other characters so it only had an impact on Rey, she’s the only one who knows about it and didn’t show much emotion about it to me, especially afterwards.

To add to that I’d say that he’s just kind of... forgotten after his death? It makes me so sad that he struggles, redeems himself, realizes so much, crawls in pain to his love and saves her by giving his own life, actually smiling for the first time in the whole ST and is then never mentioned again? He’s neither mentioned by any of his family members (they are there but just help Rey instead?? Since Han was just a memory/metaphor) nor honored for his redemption and sacrifice by anyone. They could’ve just made a scene where Rey mentions him saving her to anyone, finds his lightsaber and smiles (okay that might be a bit weird but I hope y’all know what I mean), buries his helmet in the desert or makes a gravestone for him or something like that. There seems to be like... no appreciation from her side afterwards which I find so, so sad and pretty ooc for Rey. Honestly made me dislike her a bit in the end.

All this is even fueled by the fact that he just dematerializes instead of simply dying, so there is no burial like with Vader, which would’ve been a moment of intimacy and honor. She could’ve kept his clothes, but probably didn’t, even though that would’ve been sweet.

They didn’t even bother to make him appear as a force ghost goddamnit! That makes me so mad!

It was just Leia and Luke. Just... having him live on with his family in peace as a spirit after all that would’ve given out at least a little bit of hope.

But no. His redemption, sacrifice and death is just kinda glossed over like it was no big deal in the end, as if it hadn’t been such a huge theme in the ST and it’s pretty ironic that Ben got more attention and hopeful support from his family when he was evil than when he was alive and good.

To me it appears that Ben was almost punished for his redemption in a way. Even if he has done terrible things, he just shouldn’t be erased after that, especially not if the focus has always been on his inner conflict anyways.

(Ugh and don’t even get me started on the fact that he didn’t get a happy life with Rey - which they both deserved - or real revenge on Palpatine and that we never got to see his emotions towards Vader...)

I mean, maybe he did imply that it was too late for him to be saved, but I call BS since to me it was just his uncertainty speaking and a parallel to TFA. His princey unmask in TFA even implied that he was still human and that he was still able to be saved. And maybe he didn’t become a force ghost because he lives on with Rey’s soul, but heck, I WANNA SEE STUFF LIKE THAT ON SCREEEN! Not in my mind or the novels or metaphors!

(And am I the only one that feels like chunks of TFA and TLJ were ignored and the Reylo conversations were kinda a bit too... unemotional and too much focused on their parents rather than Rey and Ben? I also had the impression that Rey didn’t have much “real emotion” towards Ben in this movie? Like their love was very one-sided in the final movie?)

That being said, I really do appreciate Ben sacrificing himself for Rey, his smile, their kiss and that whole thing with him coming to peace with his father’s murder, it was beautiful and helped showing that he genuienly loved her, that he was in fact deeply regretting killing Han, and it was completely erasing his “monster”-label in my eyes, but Ben still really shouldn’t have died like that. It’s just not hopeful to me.

Furthermore, I firmly believe that they didn’t kill him off because of Han or because he couldn’t be saved, but because they had to kill off the last Skywalker to close the saga, but still...

His redemption/sacrifice/death had shockingly little impact on the other characters and story and felt very unimportant/meaningless to me. (Which is also my view on Han’s sacrifice - with Ben dying in the end, it sorta felt a lot less meanigful and - I hate to say it - like a waste. Han surely went out there because he wanted his son to live, not to die and be forgotten by everyone)

In the end, I really don’t think that JJ and his team handled the ending of Kylo’s/Ben’s story well. And I’d say that even if I wasn’t a Reylo. Ben could’ve found his peace and payed for his sins without ending like that.

#BenSoloDeservedBetter

[writingwife-83]

I've been waiting for this! I have the perfect one in my mind. "You want to cuddle!?"as I see it it could either be Sherlolly or Reylo, but I reaaaaly want to see it as Reylo!

I didn’t get as many Reylo prompts, so I was more than happy to use this for them hehe! I ended up falling in love with this canon divergent scenario. 🥰 (to be clear- there’s either a smaller age gap between them, or Ben is at Luke’s Jedi academy until he’s older than in canon. This is not meant as an underage Rey scenario!)

Rey shifted under her blanket for the umpteenth time, making a noise of frustration as she did.

“We’re never going to get any rest if you keep that up,” Ben hissed.

She glared at his back. “We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. You know you’re the one that started this.”

Rey clenched her jaw, recalling the way Master Skywalker had nearly lost his cool with them both after their latest argument. The Jedi Master had pointed angrily toward the mountain nearby the Academy and instructed them to climb it...together. He explained that it was difficult footing and many places required the work of two, and this might just force them to work peacefully, as a team. Ben had let out a little laugh, bringing up the fact that it would take them all day just to get to the top.

Skywalker’s only reply was, “Then I suggest you bring the needed supplies. I expect to see you both back in one piece tomorrow.”

Ben turned over, facing her in the simple shelter.

“If you hadn’t completely lost your cool in front of my uncle and the rest of the students, scavenger, he would never have sent us on this stupid assignment.”

“Isn’t it about time you stop calling me that?” Rey shot back. “I haven’t been a scavenger since I was a child! I’m a Jedi apprentice, same as you. Maybe more so! At least I want to be a Jedi.”

She could just make out Ben rolling his eyes. “Being a Jedi isn’t what you really care about.”

“Pff, you’re delusional!”

“Am I?” Ben propped himself on an elbow, leaning over her a bit. “All you really care about is your twisted dream of family. You’re still just that lonely little girl my father picked up on Jakku, and you can’t get that childish idea out of your head that you’re going to find someone or something to fill that space where your parents were, instead of just moving on with your life and doing something meaningful to you!”

Rey swallowed thickly, his words both infuriating and shaking her to her core.

“You’re a monster,” she managed, hating the way the words shook.

They stared at each other for a moment in the darkness as Rey did her best not to allow emotions to get the best of her. After what felt like an eternity, Ben lay back down.

Rey was trying to blink away a bit of moisture that had gathered in her eyes when she suddenly felt Ben lay his blanket over her.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“We can share this one,” he explained simply, scooting over. “You’re cold.”

“I’m not-“

“Yes you are. I can feel it, and now I won’t be able to sleep either,” Ben insisted.

Before she knew it, Ben’s arm looped around her head, closing any little distance left between their bodies. Rey let out a short laugh.

“You want to cuddle?! Really? After a day of nearly killing each other and then viciously insulting each other?”

Wait...

Oh.

Maker, that felt good.

Rey tried to hang onto her irritation but almost as soon as she’d stopped speaking, the reality of being nestled against the solid strength of Ben Solo’s chest and encircled by his arm hit her. It hit her hard.

“Like I said,” Ben replied, his voice softer now. “You’re cold. My uncle seemed pretty clear about his expectations. One of us freezing to death doesn’t seem like something he’d view as obedience.”

Rey let out a little huff. “Since when have you cared so much about obedience to your uncle?”

Ben gulped audibly, and Rey realized then that she could feel his heart beating against her upper arm. She’d nearly forgotten her question by the time he answered in a whisper.

“I don’t.”

Rey tilted her head up to look at him, instantly taken aback by the closeness as their noses nearly touched. Her head started to get fuzzy and her mouth went dry. She was trembling, but she wasn’t cold anymore. Had she really never felt this before? All the time they’d spent together, pushing each other’s buttons and arguing, how had this never occurred to her? Had it been there all along, hidden under their admittedly childish behavior?

He was only a breath away. Maybe if she just...moved in…

“Rey,” he murmured, his voice noticeably unsteady. “We should sleep.”

Rey nodded in agreement as she turned her head back where it had been. She’d nearly gotten carried away and done something she might have regretted.

Except that in the moment, she had to admit that wasn’t how she felt.

She already regretted not doing it.

[jnlnyaface]

The Rise of Skywalker...Thoughts...

I finally bit the bullet and saw “The Rise of Skywalker” in theaters. I have some thoughts...

Spoilers Obviously!!!!!

My general review is that the whole time I was in the theater all I could think about was how much better it would’ve been if this movie and “The Last Jedi” were combined and divided in two. By that I mean, there were so many things in this movie that would’ve worked better if they were done in the 2nd movie and then built upon in this one. There were things in the 2nd movie that I thought would’ve worked great in this one. 

Have you ever taken a creative writing class and the teacher gives you a sentence to start a story and 2 mins to write. When your time is up you pass the paper back and continue the story the person in front of you wrote on their paper. And you keep going until everybody in your row has written a piece of each story. Do you remember reading that story and how one kid turned it into a fairytale and then the next into a horror show? And the last kid was left to try to put a bow on it and call it one cohesive story?That’s what this trilogy felt like. 

Here are some quick thoughts before we dive in:

1. Finn being force sensitive *chef’s kiss*

2. Poe-Finn-Rey relationship = actual gold

3. I can now understand why people ship Poe and Finn

4. Even though the story was all over the place the effects with Rey and the Emperor were creepy in a good way

5. Overall I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be but there’s so much that could have been done to make it better.

More under the cut!

Ok guys! Here’s where we do the deep dive. I’m pretty much going to outline all the problems I had with the film, why and what I think they could have done to make it better.

1. The whole Rey Palpatine thing - even though I (and many other people) wasn’t the biggest fan of “The Last Jedi” (because it was just one long car chase where nothing really happened) I did like the idea that Rey didn’t come for a force sensitive family. 

I thought it would be cool if the stronger Kylo got on the dark side, Rey got equally as strong on the light side to keep balance in the force. (Like the force itself chose someone to keep balance, someone random) I didn’t like the way it was handled, him just saying it in an offhand way, but I thought it was a good choice. To backtrack and have her be Palpatine’s granddaughter was more than a little ridiculous and way too rushed. If they would’ve introduced this possibly in one of the last two movies that would’ve been fine. But a third movie plot twist? Why?

2. Finn - There are some topics in my life that I feel like I could literally write a college level dissertation on and the treatment of Finn is this trilogy is definitely one of them. Finn was teased so heavily before “The Force Awakens” and ended up being a misdirect for Rey being the real hero/chosen one. I was ok with that because Rey and Finn were so intent on being together. That meant, to me, that throughout the trilogy they would be with each other. They became each other’s family and they weren’t going to let the other go. Then TLJ happened and they were seperated for most of the movie. Why would you separate characters with such great chemistry? (They actually separated all three of the main trio in their own storylines. The problem with this? They never got a chance to be all together and build up their bond (as a trio) before they’re separated.) 

This would’ve been fine (ish) if Finn’s storyline wasn’t a side quest of epic proportions. He’s one of the MAIN CHARACTERS and he went to a planet to get a thing for reasons. WTF?! (I will concede he did have some ok character development but it didn’t happen until the very end of the movie) Then they hint that he’s force sensitive and do nothing with it. I’m with the group that believes he moved the rocks at the end of TLJ when he ran to Rey and that was the first hint of his force sensitivity. I was hoping he would be training with her by the time the 3rd movie started (it was a long shot but one can dream). It’s obviously more explicit in TROS but nothing comes of it. He doesn’t have some big moment where he uses his powers and saves someone. He doesn’t have some confusing moment where he’s wondering what’s happening to him. Nothing! He just senses some stuff and exists. 

He really doesn’t even add much to the plot of the movie itself. He’s once again benched but they give him busy work to make it seem like he’s actually contributing. John Boyega is an excellent actor and their underuse of him is criminal. 

3. The Knights of Ren - Soooooo..... What’s up guys? In the first movie they talk about Kylo and his Knights of Ren being amazing then in the second movie they are never mentioned. Now in TROS they are there lurking in the shadows and....doing nothing. They seemed like they would be these fierce badasses but they get beat while by Kylo while he pretty much has one hand tied behind his back. Wha...

4. Kylo and Rey - I have very many problems with Kylo and Rey. Like so so so many. My biggest one is the kiss. Not necessarily that it happened just that it made zero sense. Yes they had a connection throughout the trilogy but why would that have to translate to romance? Why is it that when a female hero tries to redeem a male villain (or anti-hero) it means she wants to smash? Rey should have been allowed to want to save Kylo/Ben without having to fall for him. I asked a question on here a while back (when I was still contemplating whether or not I wanted to go see the movie). 

I asked why people ship/started shipping Reylo. None of the answers I got gave me an “aha” type moment. You know that moment when you’re like “oh I get it now” (not that it changes your mind about the couple just that you understand why that person likes them so much). I didn’t get that at all for the answers I got. Some people said “because of their connection through the force” and I’m like ok...and? Why does that mean romance? 

I have never seen him as anything more that a homicidal villain. I always thought their connection was a way for the audience and Rey to get to know Kylo so he wouldn’t be some one dimensional villain. I never saw them in a romantic light. In my opinion that final kiss could’ve been a hug and it would’ve had the same effect. (Or he could’ve just died. I would’ve been fine with that too)

5. Kylo Redemption - My problem with his “redemption” arc is that he didn’t earn it. He literally started the movie taking out an entire battalion by himself to get the pyramid thing. In the first movie he ordered his troops to destroy a whole village of innocent people. After killing Snoke he didn’t disband the first order he just took over and reaffirmed his commitment to the dark side. He killed his father, tortured Rey and Poe and the only reason why he wanted to help Palpatine was to get the fleet he was offering. But then in the 3rd(?) act Leia dies, Rey almost kills him, he has a conversation with the ghost/memory of his dad and suddenly he wants to be a good person again? Kylo is dead and Ben is just back? 

The thing is (in my opinion) every great redemption story starts with the person admitting they were wrong and asking for forgiveness. Then putting in the work to earn that forgiveness. Or at least acknowledging they were wrong and dying for the greater good. But Kylo/Ben never acknowledge the mistakes he made, he never asked for forgiveness, he didn’t do anything the showed he should be redeemed. (But he didn’t shoot on Leia’s ship in TLJ and he and Rey fought together on Snoke’s ship) wow he did one not terrible thing and fought with Rey so he could take over the first order. I’m not seeing how that creates a redemption arc for him. 

I’m going to expand on this more in my next point but I think if he just fully embraced his villainy it would’ve been better. If he killed Palpatine and became the final boss I think that would’ve been more interesting than a last minute turn as a good guy then dying.  

6. Finnrey - When I said I was going to expand on that what I meant was: I’m going to tell you what I think should’ve happened in regards to FinnRey and how they should’ve been handled. In no other movie/book/tv show/short story/play will you see the main female actress and the main male actor not get together. It was so heavily hinted that Finn and Rey had/were going to have romantic feelings for each other (they were supposed to be our Han and Leia) and this was just forgotten about so abruptly. 

Even in the second movie, the first thing Finn thinks about is Rey when he wakes up. He wants to get the beacon as far away from the resistance’s ships as possible so when she gets back she won’t be in danger with the rest of the fleet. And Rey talking to Chewie before she goes onto the ship “tell him I said...” what did Chewie say? Who speaks wookie? This movie was such a great opportunity to expand on that relationship and what do we get? Nothing...again. They didn’t even have one full conversation. Ok but why though? Don’t even get me started on the whole quicksand incident. Why wouldn’t he be telling her he loved her? Why is that such an absurd possibility? This is what has been hinted at for 2 movies and now...? Sensing a theme when it comes to hints involving Finn? Yeah me too. 

There was a comment or article that I read somewhere that talked about Finn getting knocked out in the first movie during the final battle. This person said it was unfair because of the bait and switch in regards to the trailers teasing Finn vs Rey being the force sensitive in the movie. And I thought “wouldn’t it be cool if Finn and Rey fought Kylo together?”. I don’t just mean that one battle I mean throughout the whole trilogy. Wouldn’t it have been interesting if Kylo and Rey were connected because they were the equals in the dark and light sides of the force and if Rey and Finn were connected because they were a force dyad? That way if Kylo was going to be the ultimate final boss Finn and Rey could train/fight/work together to beat him once and for all. I thought that would be much more compelling. They didn’t even necessarily have to become a romantic pairing. 

I’m ok with subverting the, every series ends with a romance trope (even though it seems like the only time this trope is subverted is when a character of color is involved) but in this last movie Finn did little more than follow Rey around the galaxy and call her name when crap was going down. At least if you have force sensitive Finn, who has trained with and is connected to Rey he can actually help her instead of standing around staring the whole time. I, of course am a FinnRey shipper so I was disappointed when they didn’t get together but I’ve had plenty of other ships disappoint me in the past so this was nothing. I just wish they would have communicated for longer than two collective minutes in the 2.5 hour movie. They had such a great relationship/friendship. It was one of the best things about the first movie and it just evaporated in this movie with no real explanation.

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These were some of my thoughts about Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I didn’t write this to offend anyone so if I did I’m sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest. I really got into the Stars Wars fandom with TFA and it has been a rollercoaster ride ever since. I try to reserve judgement on a series until it is over, since middle movies can be kind of boring because they’re trying to move the plot forward. I like to wait until the story is done before I say whether or not I liked it and this well...I’m still not sure. 

[ajnerdess]

Rise of Skywalker thoughts

Spoilers ahead.

Honestly, I enjoyed the film, I think people are taking the entire franchise WAAAAY too seriously and seemed to have forgotten that a, the original 3 films were simple good VS evil space fantasies and the prequels had their fair share of tragedy(and were largely disliked because they steered so far from the OG trilogy AND tried too hard to be overly complicated) so honestly, I don’t understand why some people (cough, cough, hardcore Reylos) are surprised to the point where they are slating the film and saying it’s bad because they didn’t get their lovey dovey ending. It was obvious that wasn’t going to happen if you go by EVERY other star wars film.

Do I think there were plot holes and things shoehorned in that mildly annoyed me? Yes. I thought the Palpatine plot didn’t have as much build-up as it needed and I was just a little like “oh ok, that’s happening now, sure, ok”. I personally didn’t like Poe’s questionable past seeing as he was raised by heroes of the Resistance. There were characters that were pointless and I can’t even remember their names which just seemed unnecessary. But other than that, everything else largely worked and made sense to me.

As a HUGE Hux fan, i’m obviously sad he was killed off so quickly but I knew he was going to die and I knew he wasn’t going to get the spotlight. As much as I love him, I mean, come on people, I've written a 385 page fanfiction involving him and Poe, he was a secondary, if not tertiary character in the new trilogy. He was never going to get as much love as the main trio and Ren, especially as the plot had to cram so much into the story. I’m grateful he had as much screen time as he did and as someone who has spent so many chapters of my own story trying to give him a developed personality, I am SO glad he semi redeemed himself somewhat by becoming a spy for the Resistance, even if it was just because he was a petty bitch. As for people saying it was against his character..... was it? I mean, Domhnall had said over and over again “Hux is like a kicked dog, if you kick him too much, eventually he’s going to bite back” the comic basically said that he believed everyone underestimated him and didn’t take him seriously and never saw him as a threat, what better way to prove them otherwise than to deflect to help bring them down??? Maybe i’m just trying to see the good in him as a character when I shouldn’t, but honestly, I had geared myself up for the worst regarding his character and I was actually pleasantly surprised. 

As for Ren, personally, I don’t like his character. I never did, and his ‘romantic’ link with Rey sort of reminded me of a 50 shades of grey type of uncomfortable male love interest territory. I don’t think he was as bad as some male love interests but I definitely never felt the connection between him and Rey and thought he could often be manipulative and emotionally abusive towards her, and besides that, he, you know, murdered his dad and tried to kill his mum. Much like Hux, not a nice guy, so I really am not surprised they killed him off, but am glad they gave him a nice lil redemption arc, much like Darth Vader’s, to me, that was pretty poetic, seeing as he always wanted to be like Vader. Point is, it’s not shocking he died. It’s not shocking he didn’t end up happy with Rey, I mean, did you see Padme and Anakin’s love story?? Even Leia and Han didn’t exactly have a healthy, happy relationship so, go figure. I don’t think it’s a valid enough excuse to hate the movie as much as some people are. To me, it still falls under Star Wars canon and is very reminiscent of the original films. 

The only major point I will say that served as a downfall to the film, is the fact that it’s VERY clear JJ hated the Last Jedi and tried to do everything to pretend it didn’t exist. That’s fine, but then it just angers me a little that we even had the last Jedi. It would have made more sense to have JJ direct all 3 so the middle film could have served as the build up to Palpatine’s return so it wouldn’t have seemed so out of the blue in this film. 

I loved the trio’s interactions. I loved the environments, I loved the campy space creatures, like the little one that fixes C-3PO and the ones on the desert planet in the colour festival scene thing. I liked the plot. I liked what they did with the characters. I liked how they wrapped up the Skywalker saga. It felt much more like an old star wars film than the Last Jedi did. Was it as good as the original trilogy? No. Was it as good as Force Awakens? No. But was it still a good film and good in comparison to TLJ and the prequels? In my opinion, yeah, I really think it was. But then I went into the film with relatively average expectations and knew not to take it too seriously. 

Edit: I am also sad about FinnPoe not being real, but again, I knew Disney wouldn’t be brave enough to do it. I'm just super grateful we have Oscar Isaac and John Boyega who champion the ship so much and support it to a level I've never seen before, so let’s just be grateful for those wholesome beans! I also realise I said luke and Han's relationship, not Leia and Han, but honestly Luke and Han deserved some homoerotic undertones because who the hell doesn't?

[politicalmamaduck]

Aníron

A Reylo Aragorn and Arwen AU. A huge thank you to those who have created the many online Tolkien, especially Sindarin, resources, and to my beta, @rapturousaurora. Some lines taken directly from the film The Fellowship of the Ring. Read it on AO3 here.

The stars always seemed brighter in Rivendell. 

Rey could not resist looking up from her trusty, sturdy steed to gaze upon them, allowing them to fill her mortal heart and soul with joy. 

A, Elbereth Githoniel, the ancient hymn went, and though she was not a singer, she found herself humming it as they drew nearer the Last Homely House East of the Sea. 

A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna míriel, o menel aglar elenath! 

O Elbereth Starkindler, white-glittering, slanting down sparkling like a jewel, the glory of the starry host!

The words were apt, for it was a perfect crisp night, a light breeze stirring that had been pleasant under the summer sun. The stars and moon glimmered, guiding their way to the only home Rey had ever deemed worthy of the title. Even the great waterfalls seemed welcoming here. 

Her errand was most unfortunate; her tidings not glad, but borne on the black wings of war. 

The darkness that stirred in the East had spread; the One Ring was active and known once more, borne by a small but sturdy Hobbit in her party.   

There was but one being in all Middle-earth to whom she could unburden her heart, mind, and soul, and he bore burdens of his own. His father was one of the few Men left of Númenórean blood, and deemed worthy to take ship from the Grey Havens after a near fatal wound; his mother, one of the three remaining great powers, a true Princess among Elves and Lúthien’s heiress.

She would not burden him with her own struggles with the darkness within her.

He knew it all too well, bearing her mark upon his face from a training session turned duel, gone horribly wrong. 

Both she and he had infamous tempers, undignified and unbecoming of their lineages, all in Rivendell would say. 

Those tempers boiled over when a younger Rey, one who had more energy and less experience in the ways of the world, became frustrated with her companion’s reminders of the legacies they bore, the world for which they were responsible. At that point in her young mortal life, she felt increasingly alone and isolated, trying to learn everything she needed to learn, burdened by the weight of legacy and haunted by the ghosts that had abandoned her to her fate.

The darkness, the weakness that flowed through their veins, that could not be erased by thousands of years of ancestors in her case, nor thousands of years of repentance and redemption in his. 

They were training, using ancient swords, great heirlooms of his house, their blades meeting and crashing. She could still remember his words, the force behind them, and his great strength, powerful and looming over her as they held their stance and their weapons in place.

You need to learn. I can help you. I can teach you the ancient ways.

The ancient ways? She responded, shaking her head. 

My ancestors were slaughtered, their home destroyed and cast into the sea, for dabbling in Dark magic, for listening to a shadow that told them he could make them great like those of old.  

She pushed him off of her and swung out with her blade, striking him across the face. 

Rey still cringed at the memory; for all the good Leia had done for her, taking her in, giving her a home, teaching her the ancient languages of her people and everything she needed to know should she ever choose to reclaim the throne of Gondor....

Your mother knew you would be safe here. You are the last of that bloodline, there is no one left. 

She fled, not to return again until she had earned her position among the Dúnedain, and began to come to terms with her many-times great-grandfather Palpatine’s evil. 

Her thoughts were interrupted, as they always were, by Rivendell’s steward, Lindir, bidding them welcome and offering refreshment.

“Gi nathlof hí, Lady Rey,” he said, bowing deeply. “I will inform my mistress that you have arrived.”

“Thank you, Lindir,” she replied. “There is no need for her to be disturbed, however. I am certain she is already aware of our arrival and the tidings which I bear.”

Lindir nodded. “As you say, my lady. Food and your rooms have been made ready.”

“Thank you,” she replied once more, allowing her horse to be led away. She would be well cared for here, as she always was. Both horse, and rider. 

It was good to be back, though she did not long to see her childhood rooms once more. 

The library, however, was a place where she could pass many hours in quiet reflection, and put her mind and soul at ease.

Her heart was altogether a different story, one that could not be helped by the tales of old, for she knew what she would find looking at those tales. 

Another song sounded in Rey’s mind; she was unable to escape its pull, as if Rivendell’s great choir were performing just for her. The Elves, and their love of songs that could never easily be forgotten, wrapped around and through her each day of her upbringing alongside them. 

Tinúviel! Tinúviel!

He called her by her elvish name,

And there she halted listening.

One moment stood she, and a spell

His voice laid on her: Beren came,

And doom fell on Tinúviel

That in his arms lay glistening.

Tears appeared in Rey’s eyes, equally as unbidden as the song telling a tale she longed to avoid. 

Ben Solo, heir to Rivendell, Lúthien’s heir, Mîr n’Ardhon, she would not be his downfall the way Beren was to Lúthien. 

Only he would disturb her in the library, and so he did, catching her gazing down upon the remnants of a sword that was hers and hers alone to claim. 

She both dreaded and longed for this moment. 

“Why do you fear the past and the future?” He asked.  “You are Isildur Palpatine’s heir, not Isildur Palpatine himself.” 

“The same blood flows through my veins. The same weakness,” she answered, whispering, giving voice to the fears and darkness she had borne all her life. 

“Your time will come. You will face the same evil, and you will defeat it. The Shadow does not hold sway yet. Not over you, and not over me.” This last bit he added in Elvish, causing Rey’s spine to shudder at the beautiful and powerful words.

The darkness, they would face together, when the time came. She knew it to be as true as her love for him. 

He had the high cheekbones and dark eyes and waves of hair known to Luthien’s line. She had been unable to resist him from the moment they met. 

His thoughts had turned to that moment as well, it seemed, while they walked from the library into the gardens.  

“Do you remember when we first met?” he asked, tracing her cheekbone. 

“I thought I had strayed into a dream,” she murmured, looking up into his eyes.

“Long years have passed; you did not have the cares that you carry now.” He sighed, looking down and burdened for only a moment. He looked back up at her, focusing his powerful gaze once more. “Do you remember what I told you?”

She could not meet his gaze. She knew the words; they were etched on her heart. Yet she still could not believe them, could not believe that he had said them in the first place, let alone held himself to them all these years later.

“You said you would bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.” 

“And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face the ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life. Mine is the choice of Lúthien, and of my mother before me, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter.”

They kissed under the moon and stars, and pledged their troth to one another with those celestial lights as their witnesses. 

They kissed, hands tracing taut bodies and corded muscles, honed from years of training with swords and horses. 

Rey traced the outline of his pointed ears after they had sunk to the forest floor, causing his toes to curl and a moan to escape his throat. 

“Rey,” he said, looking up at her on top of him as if she were the light of the Two Trees themselves. 

“My Rey,” he said, reaching a now-trembling hand up to her cheek once more. 

She kissed him again, and knew she was as lost as Beren when he stumbled upon Lúthien before her. 

She would give her mortal life to protect and defend this elf and his people, as he would sacrifice his immortality for her. 

For tonight, however, they had each other. 

He wore simple, though elegant and exquisitely tailored clothes, suitable for one of his status and position. No armor was necessary for either of them within Rivendell; it was easy for him to divest her of her fighting leathers and her tunic.  

He unwrapped her breast band, then traced his fingers over every scar she bore, pressed his lips to them as if a burning brand, searing her with the fire of his love. 

She was straddling him, wearing only her trousers and underwear, when in the haze of love, she remembered a crucial detail from her childhood history lessons; it rose to her mind unbidden, much like the song that seemed to summon her would be lover to find her in the library.

"It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage...it was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to the other without ceremony or witness…in flight and exile and wandering, such marriages were often made."

She placed a hand upon him, feeling his heart beat beneath his powerful, broad chest and breathed deeply, both of them doing so heavily.

“Are you sure?” was all she could ask in that moment, bonded and bound to the only one she had ever loved. 

“Yes, Rey, my Estel, Chieftess of the Dúnedain, my life,” he said, his eyes dark and shining. 

They kissed once more, Ben rising from the forest floor and lifting her into his arms, her legs about his waist. 

He put her down for just a moment, only to sweep her back up again as if she weighed nothing.

He carried her, bridal style, to his rooms under the stars and moon, where she helped him remove the rest of his clothing with trembling hands. 

She traced his scars as he traced hers, kissing them and claiming them for her own. 

I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine, he whispered to her in Sindarin after he entered her, his arms entwined about her, the silk sheets of his bed strewn about them. 

She was filled to capacity, joy overflowing, her body and soul one with his at last as they moved together, finding a rhythm in their bodies, their hearts beating as one, creating a song all their own. 

She gave herself to him as he gave himself to her, knowing they would never be alone to face the ages of the world and all its troubles again.

She cried out to the moonlight as the stars twinkled in his eyes, and vowed they would never be parted from that day hence. 

“Varda Elentári,” she cried once more as she came, and he chuckled, altogether undignified for an Elf, Lúthien’s heir, an altogether too mortal, too human gesture, recalling for her his father, so long departed to the West. 

She laughed with him, and kissed him again as they sank back down into the sheets, each tracing the other’s cheek and freckles or beauty marks. 

“Meleth nîn,” he murmured as they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, and Rey knew she was truly home.

[lol-jackles]

(No spoilers) okay so I remembered you saying that Ben/Kylo Ren is actually the protag of the new trilogy, so I went to see the new film with that as my framework. Thank you. Viewing the film from that lens made every single narrative logical and sensible, and I was overcome with emotion as the chapter drew to a close.

Kylo Ren is the star of this movie by far, he’s an actual character throughout this entire trilogy.  His arc had a lot of weight and is probably the best executed thing of the entire sequel trilogy.  His redemption has been signaled from day one: it’s never been “if”, but rather “when” and “how”, which is Leia paying her penance and saving her son with a message from the Force, and love brings him back to the side of light. 

Managing this moment was crucial and Adam Driver knocks it out of the park with his acting.  Post-redemption, the delivery of his lines, the subtle changes to his body language as he rejoins the ranks of heroism, all of it is superb.  Once he turns his back on darkness, he is no longer vacant-eyed and sad, now there’s sparks of life in his eyes.  His voice has intonation beyond the monotone.  He even smiles!  And what a smile it is, his whole face lights up even in the direst of situations.  This is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, and the change in his demeanor is very satisfying thing to see.  Very few actors could have managed this dichotomy and allowed viewers to empathize with him throughout the story.

The sequel trilogy is the opposite of the pre-sequel trilogy, instead of seeing a young man fall to the dark side and get more and more evil, the sequel trilogy is the tale of him being pulled back into the light. This is one thing I think Rise of Skywalker wrapped up nicely.

Rey is cute and an adequate audience surrogate, but she had no distinct character development or real arc.  Kylo Ren and his connection to Rey (Reylo) carried this trilogy from start to finish.   With Rey, Kylo Ren gets a wonderful story that not even Jar Jar Abram can pull the story of Kylo Ren down with him into the hackney story-telling bordering on fanchise killing.

.

The Last Jedi is arguably the best movie in the Star Wars franchise.  The Last Jedi is also definitively not a Star Wars movie.  The Rise of the Skywalker is a good, fun typical Star Wars movie because we get an “iconic” story – the epic quest to save the galaxy, it’s simple, functional, feels familiar and comfortable.  It feels like home.  We get new, never-before-seen force powers, new alien cultures, new monsters, and planets that don’t look like they were filmed on Earth. A galaxy where, truly, anything is once again possible. The galaxy is the stand in for the Wild West, which is why The Mandalorian series is successful.  How many other planets are there like Exegal, hidden around the next bend?  How many more planets are littered with the wrecks of ancient wars?  

That said, Rise of Skywalker was a mess character arc-wise.   Kylo needed another film to make his arc stick, and if it had the same The Last Jedi-depth scenes in this film it might’ve been one of the greatest arcs of all time. Rey’s connection to her parents is vital to her character.  In other words, they need another The Last Jedi movie that isn’t a Star Wars movie.

Rey gets a dilemma that isn’t. There’s no obvious reason for her to choose anything other than the path that she did.   However the saving grace of Rey’s storyline is how she defeated Palpatine, which was in line with previous ideas that aggression is not the way to beat the Sith. Given the rest of the movie, I expected Rey to fight him with a lightsaber and cut him down. Instead, she wins by turning his own aggression against him. I thought that was very Jedi-like.  

Ben vs the Knights of Ren seemed like an appropriate way to bring his arc to a close and there was an excellent use of his mind link with Rey,  In fact, their use of the mind link overall was consistent with what we saw in The Last Jedi but they found new and creative ways to take advantage of it, from dueling with each other in different locations to aiding each other with Rey secretly passing off a lightsaber to Ben.  

As much as I loathed Palpatine’s return, the Sith Spirit idea did provide a plausible explanation as to why the Sith specifically were such a cancer on the Force that it created the Chosen One to destroy them (or so we thought, *laughs by Jar Jar Abrams*).

In conclusion, The Rise of Skywalker is like a typical Marvel movie, fun to watch and forgotten as soon as you leave the theater with exception of Kylo Ren and Reylo.

Bonus:    flying Stormtroopers

C-3P0: They fly now!!

Finn: They fly now??

Poe: *resignation* They fly now.

.

Kylo Ren surviving the trilogy was not written in the stars as soon as he killed Han Solo, plus he’s tried to kill every single main character in the trilogy.  Star Wars is a space fairy tale, it’s not real science fiction.  Add Disney and there’s no way Kylo Ren could survive.

Instead Kylo Ren got the next best thing, a happy, sympathetic ending.  He even kissed The Girl.

My girlfriend didn’t want to see Kylo Ren redeemed but since they did, she was surprisingly pleased with the way they handled his decision to turn away from the dark side.  She loved (and so did I) that Han Solo talked to Ben, touching Ben’s face the same way again in The Force Awakens, Han helping him make the decision and saying “I know” to Ben. Great scene.  

[how-do-i-turn-this-thing-off]

hi, i just read some reylo prompts you wrote and wow! congratulations, you're so good!! and i was thinking if you could take one more,imagine after a resistance party, rey is in her room and the bond opens and she can't help but ask ben if he could ask her to join him again. why? because she wants to be with him obviously. and marry. and have some kids. well, she's a little drunk and probably won't remember how many times she tried to kiss him. (well, thats what ben thinks)

    The party hadn't been fun at all.  Rey dodged thin spires of rock as she made her way back to where the shelters were set up-- well, tried to. Truth be told she'd had at least one or three Dagobah Slug Slingers too many and the rocks seemed to be deliberately trying to get in her way, which she was almost certain they weren't actually doing.  Well, maybe.  This was a brand-new planet as of four hours ago, so how would she know?

   She tried to dodge around a group of them but misjudged the distance, stumbling into the one at the end, where she leaned for a bit, waiting for things to stop moving that shouldn't be.  She closed her eyes, thinking that would make it better, but it didn't.  It definitely, definitely didn't, and she opened them again.

   What a dumb party.  The thought went round and round in her head, so loudly it seemed to be making her ears ring from the inside, and she pressed her forehead into the slightly sand-textured stone, knowing it would smear red dust all over her face and not caring.  What a dumb, dumb, DUMB party.  She wanted to say it out loud.  Why shouldn't she say it out loud?  There was just her and rocks here right now, and the rocks probably couldn't hear what she said, and even if they could she didn't care what a bunch of stupid rocks she'd never see again thought of her anyway.

   “What a dumb party,” she mumbled, then the urge to laugh bubbled up in her and she couldn't help but give in to it, first a chuckle, then a giggle, then a full-on ab-crunching laugh that made her lean against the stone.  Red dust.  Red dust everywhere, on her clothes, in her hair, on her skin.  How was anyone supposed to keep themselves clean on this planet?  She tried to brush some off but her hand only seemed to shove it further into the fabric of her arm wrap, and that annoyed her so she vengefully smeared the dust around on purpose, then grabbed some more from the sandy ground and dumped it on her pants, smearing that too.  She'd regret it in the morning.  Distantly, she understood that.  Right now, however-- right now--.

   “Shouldn't have even come to this DUMB planet,” she muttered vengefully, pushing herself back to her feet.  She tottered for a moment then held steady, which she was vaguely proud of, and looked around.  The shelters were somewhere this way- she'd come from here on her way there, so she should know- but now she couldn't remember exactly which this way was the this way she needed.  All the rocks looked the same, and they were judging her, she could feel it.

   “It's fine,” she insisted, smiling at them sloppily, vengefully.  “I'm not going to be here long.”  She threw her arms out, encompassing the whole landscape around her.  “Nope.  Leaving as soon as I can. Maybe I'll steal a ship, huh?  I can do that.  I can steal a ship.” She dropped her arms for a moment, considering.  “I'll steal a fighter, actually.  Faster.  Cooler.  I'll go straight up and never come back down.”  It should have been a euphoric statement but something about it unsettled her, feeling not quite the way she'd thought it would, and she frowned, shaking her head at herself and nearly falling again as that one movement made the world spin.  She only stumbled a little, tripping over something round in the sand at her feet that made her look down.  A slinger bottle.  She'd forgotten she had that with her, and didn't remember putting it down-- or dropping it, as was probably more likely.  But it still had some slinger in it so she bent over, very carefully, and picked it up.

  “What are you looking at, huh?  Dumb rocks,” she muttered to the nearest rock spire as she struggled with the cork before deciding against it.  Not the drink, the location; all these rocks were creepy.  She hadn't cared about them before but now she didn't like them at all.  She spied a ridge through them and started that way, circling around the lip of red rock, looking for a way up on top of it.

   “Rey,” someone said, a familiar voice, and she whirled around, scanning the spires suspiciously.  It had sounded like Ben, but it always sounded like Ben.  Every voice did and did not sound like Ben, and that was why she'd started drinking however long ago she’d started.  An hour.  Several hours.  Did it matter?

   His voice had seemed to echo; was that normal or was that just what she was hearing right now?  She turned her back on it, ignoring the spires and focusing on the rock ledge, started to climb one-handed, the slinger firmly grasped in her other hand.  It wouldn't have been a challenge sober but now she had to use her admittedly shaky grasp on the Force to steady herself, still making it to the top of the ledge without too much trouble.  Below her was a desert, not a beautiful, soft, flowing desert like on Jakku, but a depressing wasteland of red rock, jagged and tumbled on top of each other like a massive gravel pit.  A gravel pit for giants.  Had there been giants here?  No, she decided, sitting down with her legs hanging over the edge and working on the slinger's cork again.  This planet wasn't cool enough to have giants.

   “Rey.”  This time it sounded close to her.  Ben's voice, always Ben's voice.  She knew it better than any other voice by now, she was depressingly sure, better than Finn's, better than Poe's, better than Leia's, better even than Chewie's-- and Chewie's voice was one she should have been able to count on blocking out any number of other voices, but it still couldn't entirely drown out this one.  The bond had been fickle lately, fading in and then going away again even when she wasn't alone, even when she wasn't thinking about him, even when she was trying very, very hard not to think about him and nearly succeeding even, sometimes.  Now she heard him all around her whether she could see him or not, waking, sleeping, like waves made of him that rolled in and out with some inscrutable Force tide that Luke's dumb books could have told her about but hadn't yet even though she'd been reading them until her eyes crossed.

   “I'm a terrible reader,” she said into the bottle as the cork came free unexpectedly, slipping from her fumbling fingers and rolling away in the unknown.  Now she'd have to finish the whole bottle or pour it out, and she had been kinda going to finish it anyway, probably, so she stared down into it and tried to gauge exactly how much was left.

   “What are you reading?” Ben's voice asked, soft, nearby, like he was just next to her on the ridge or just down below, behind or in front, it was impossible to say.  In her head, maybe, or not, it didn't really matter.  Maybe both.  Who could say?

  “Luke didn't teach me anything,” she muttered mutinously, taking a drink of the slinger.  She hadn't liked the slinger the first time she tasted it; vaguely bitter, herb-y, like she was drinking something green she had no name for.  Not great.  But she was used to it now, and its smell, and how it felt on the way down, and how it felt when it got to her stomach.  What it had to do with slugs or Dagobah, she didn't know.  She'd asked Finn and he'd laughed, the first time, but then she'd said it too much and now she could only say it to herself because everyone else would think it was getting annoying.

   “Luke wasn't a great teacher to start with,” Ben said, and she closed her eyes and pretended he was here, the bottle dropping away from her lips as she tilted her head back, wishing the stars were up above her, but it was still sunset and she wouldn't have been able to see any even if her eyes were open.  Jakku was a much better desert than this-- the sun didn't take nearly as long to set and the stars came out beautiful and clear and so close you felt like you could reach up and pick one and eat it.  

   “Rey,” Ben said again.  He was being annoying tonight.  She sighed and opened her eyes, tilting her head back down, and there he was on the rock lip just a little way up from her, sitting wherever he really was, his dark eyes watching her with an expression she was too drunk to comprehend at the moment and she didn't feel like trying anyway.  His expression wasn't as important as the fact that he was here, really here, for once, not just an echo-y something hidden away in the rocks, or the trees, or the ocean, or the stars.

   “Ben,” she said, her voice suddenly hoarse and raspy, like some of the sand had gotten in her throat.  “What... what are you doing?”

   “Working,” he said, folding his hands together as though they were on a desk. “Or I was, before you started mumbling about dumb parties in my ear and accusing rocks of spying on you.  What planet are you on?”

 “Nuh-uh-uh,” she scolded, trying to wag a finger at him before realizing that was the hand that was still holding the slinger bottle.  Some of it splashed out as she wiggled it, the light green liquid staining the stone a dark red like blood, which she found vaguely interesting and stared at for a moment before taking another drink.  “I'm not going to tell you,” she said to Ben when she was finished.  “What about you?  Where are you hiding?”

  “OR-Kappa-2722,” he replied, raising his eyebrows at her slightly.  How annoying.  “It's a major First Order-aligned star system, Rey, I haven't made myself difficult to find.”

   She laughed bitterly, taking another drink.  She was going to run out of slinger quickly at this rate but she was starting to feel a very, very insistent urge to throw something and the bottle seemed like it would serve that purpose extremely well, but only once it was empty. “'Difficult to find',” she muttered in a mutinous tone.  “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.  Everyone knows where he is.  Not me, though.  No, you're around every corner but you're never actually anywhere.”

  “You've been hearing the echoes too.”

   The echoes.  How- how- how Ben, to have given it a name, to be sitting here with her after forever in each other's heads but never in each other's sight gathering data, making up theories. It enraged and depressed her almost exactly equally and she fingered the neck of the bottle, not sure which one to express.  Maybe mix them together and call it frustration?  How many books had Ben read about the Force, anyway?  A lot.  All of them.  She would bet any item of value she could get her hands on that he'd read every damn thing about the Force ever written while she slogged through the few physical books she'd stolen from Luke hour after torturous hour, half reading, half teaching herself all the new and old-fashioned words she'd never heard of before.  Who taught slaves to read?  Nobody, that's who.  If the Empire hadn't left so much behind on the Destroyers she used to salvage she wouldn't know anything about anything, and Ben had probably been reading since he was born, with all his books, and Luke's school, and now the whole library of the First Order to go through.  He should know everything.  She thought about telling him so but wanted to throw the bottle now more than ever, so she drank instead.

   “Slinger?” Ben guessed, watching her.

   “Maybe,” she muttered.

   “That's a fairly strong drink, Rey.”

   “Well anything is strong when you've been drinking it for a while, Supreme Leader, but I don't care what you think because you're not really here.  Where are you?”

  “I told you.”

   “No, why-- why are you there?” she clarified, swinging the bottle outward to encompass the distant stars she couldn't see, where Ben was, whether or not it was in that particular direction.  “Why are you all the way over there?”  He didn't answer that and she was suddenly afraid to look around to see what his expression was now, sloshing the last of the slinger around instead, first counter-clockwise, then clockwise.  It was enough for two more drinks, if they were small drinks.

   “Where are you, Rey?” Ben asked at last, pointedly but not condemningly.

   “If I told you would you come here?”

   “Yes,” he said immediately, his voice jumping with sudden and urgent sincerity.

   “Would you come alone?”  He hesitated, she didn't see it but she could hear it, and she smiled bitterly, getting to her feet.  The world was swaying much more than it had been before, tilting to one side then the other like she was on a starship twirling around and around in the sky, and she had to use the Force to steady herself.  She tried to do it subtly but it was impossible at the moment, with both her head and the whole galaxy spinning, to do anything subtly and her push went rather wild, blowing a bit of sand up into the air.  Well, more than up, really.  Blowing it so high in the sky she couldn't see it anymore.

   “Where are you, Rey?” Ben asked a third time, then when she turned to glare at him added hastily, “I mean, where are you standing?  What are you on?  I saw you climbing earlier.”

  She considered for a moment whether there was a reason to not tell him that, but even to her swimming, sinking, swirling mind it seemed very unlikely that the First Order would be able to trace the Rebels' location on the scant evidence of 'there are rocks here'.  Rocks?  So many rocks, in the galaxy.  So much sand.  So many deserts.  So many different kinds of desert, she remembered, glaring out at the coarse and unfriendly landscape before her.  And this one she hated most of all.

   “I'm up on a ledge,” she answered finally.  “A rock ledge.”

   “How wide is the ledge, Rey?”

   What an utterly annoying question.  Here she was barely able to stay upright and he wanted her to, what, just start taking measurements of things?  She looked down, considering.  She was going to give him the measurement in the most annoying way possible, just because she could and she was drunk and she could and she was drunk.  She didn't know why she thought it twice, but it was truer both times.

   “The ledge is about...,” she began, drawing it out deliberately.  She held a thumb out in front of her as if trying to gauge the distance, squinting, which hardly helped since the rock seemed slightly out of focus even when her eyes were wide open.  “Maybe... three porgs wide.”

   “Porgs,” Ben repeated in an extremely annoyed tone, standing wherever he was.

   “Yup,” she agreed, smiling and nodding to herself and nearly overbalancing again.  “Side-to-side porgs, though.  Not end-to-end porgs.  Obviously.”

   “Rey--,” he said, stepping towards her.  “How high off the ground is the ledge?”

   More measurements, damn him.  She didn't want to glance that far down, and anyway she already knew that it was too far to reliably measure in porg-related units, and also she'd only just noticed that when she turned this direction- away from the sunset and towards the spires- she could barely see the glow from the fires where some of the Rebels were still celebrating.  She hoped they were out of slinger.  She didn't want to see or taste or hear of or smell slinger ever again after tonight.  Nasty drink.  That's why it was named after slugs.

   “Rey,” Ben reminded her, stopping a couple of steps away wherever he was.

   “I don't want to look that far down,” she said mutinously, examining the bottle again.  “Probably I'll fall off.”

   “Then just remember.  Don't look.  Just remember and give me your nearest guess.”

   She wanted to roll her eyes at him but she could tell already that it would make her head hurt if she did and anyway she was trying really, really hard not to look at him so he wouldn't see it even if she could pull it off.  “It's, I don't know, one Chewie high on this side,” she said, swinging the bottle in a vaguely left direction.

   “The side you climbed up from?” he clarified.  She sighed huffily and nodded, then drank a tiny, tiny mouthful just because it seemed to goad him and she liked Ben better when he was goaded right now.  Not that she liked him at all right now.  “Rey, how high off the ground is the other side?”

  Much higher.  And he wasn't going to like that when he found out, she could tell, but she didn't want to say out loud because she didn't want to think about it because she'd just discovered that thinking about measurements right now made her queasy. “Tech-ni-cal-ly the rock is the ground,” she muttered, sounding the first word out carefully because it seemed hard to get her mouth around it the right way.  He didn't bother to respond to that but she could sense him frowning at her in a very moody way and sloshed the bottle again, examining the few green mouthfuls that were left. “Probably maybe one-and-a-half X-wings high.”

  “Side-to-side or end-to-end?” he demanded.

   “End-to-end. Sharp rocks at the bottom,” she added.  “Well, rough rocks.  Very mean looking rocks that I don't like.”

   “Which are different from the rocks that were spying on you earlier that you didn't like,” he pointed out sarcastically.  “You don't have to tell me you're in even more danger than I thought just to get my attention, Rey.  How are you going to get down?”

   It was a question she hadn't thought of, which she didn't like, and a good question too, which she also didn't like, so she decided to ignore it.  “If I told you where I am, would you come find me?” she asked, studying the ground.

   “I doubt I'd make it there in time to keep you from a drunken fall to your death,” he snapped. “How are you going to get down, Rey?”  She said nothing and he made a sound like a sigh but with a growl on the end, a growl that became, “Alright, where's Poe?”

   “Poe?” she asked, surprised into looking up at him.  He was very slightly blurry but he did seem serious, which was a shock even to her addled system.

   “Yes, your General, Poe,” he confirmed in a very serious tone.  “He is in charge now, isn't he?”

   He was, but that didn't seem like it meant anything in particular at this particular moment and she tilted her head at him, uncertain.  “Yes, Poe's in charge,” she said at last.

   “Well good, this time, is he near enough to hear you if you call him?”

   She looked toward the light from the Rebel fires, considering.  Was Poe even over there anymore?  Maybe.  He was much better at drinking than she was.  She was terrible but she had no practice, so she'd be better eventually, probably.  Poe might still be at the dumb party, and it was easier to try and judge distances right now when she was looking straight out instead of down, so at least that was a bonus to Ben's dumb game.  “Poe is three AT-ATs away,” she decided. “End-to-end, but if they were on their sides with their legs straight out.  So more like top to bottom.  Body to feet-things.”

   “That sounds like a long ways, Rey,” Ben said, doing a very bad job of pretending his patience wasn't running out very quickly.  “Is there anyone else near you?”

   “I don't know,” she replied snippily.  “I don't know this planet.  Maybe there's tunnels. Maybe the rocks are all hollow.  Maybe there's invisible people. Maybe there's something in the sky watching me right now.”

  Ben actually closed his eyes- physically closed his eyes- as though he needed to not look at her for a moment or he was going to lose his temper completely.  She watched, oddly fascinated by this phenomenon. She never saw him when he wasn't seeing her also, and now she could study his face, his scar, the way his brow creased when he was mad at her, pulling the corners of his lips down, lips she focused on longer than she meant to, so that she was still staring at them when he opened his eyes again and saw her.

   “Stop it,” he said immediately.

   “I like your scar,” she told him, gesturing at his face.  She'd forgotten, again, that that was the hand with the bottle in it, and ended up sort of swinging it skyward in an odd slinger salute.  That made her giggle- a slinger salute.  Slug Slinger.  Slug Slinger saluting Supreme scars.  S words.  Four, no, five in a row.  That was an achievement of note, she thought, when still figuring out reading.

   “Good, since you put it there.  You need to get down from the ledge now, Rey.”

  “The ledge is pretty,” she said mutinously, not sure if it was or not.  There was more light on the ledge with the sun still setting, and all the rock spires below were slowly descending into murky shadow and that made her like them even less than she had before, and she hadn't really liked them at all as far as she could remember, though that wasn't very far.

   “The ledge is dangerous.”

   “If I told you where I am, would you come find me?” she asked a little more plaintively, stepping towards him.  If he were here he'd be in arm's reach.

   “Rey, I would bring the whole damn fleet down on you and you know it,” he accused.

   “But what if you just came by yourself?  To find me?  Just-- just to see me.”

  “I'm not going to pay you a courtesy call just to make sure you don't slip off of cliffs with a bottle of slinger in your hands,” he said in a harsh tone, a harsh tone she was finding she didn't like very much, didn't like very much at all.  He was being deliberately hurtful.  And yes, maybe she was not very nice tonight and maybe she'd annoyed him and maybe she was up really high and the ground was especially nasty here, but now he was the one being nasty.  His tone was nasty.  He was just being mean on purpose.

   “Well fine, Supreme Leader,” she muttered around the sudden tear-like soreness in her throat that had come out of nowhere, lifting the bottle to her lips and draining it.  It wasn't a very impressive movement, since she’d forgotten that there wasn't much left, but she didn't care what he thought about it so it didn't matter.  “We don't want you around here anyway,” she added, lowering the bottle and wiping the back of her hand across her mouth.  It smeared dirt across her lips- she could taste it instantly- but she didn't care about that either. “Who would want you around?  Nobody.  Not me.  Nobody.”

   He stared at her, completely taken aback, and a beat too late she realized that might not have been something she meant to say, or something she meant at all, and she wished she hadn't said it but she had so she turned away from him, back towards the sunset.  “We're all fine here,” she muttered, shame only making her throat that much sorer, thickening her words.  “Especially me.  I'm the most fine.  I'm super-duper fine.”

   “Rey,” he said softly.

   “You're never coming, are you?” she said, cutting off whatever he might have been about to say next, staring at the sunset.  The sun was finally almost to the horizon; it seemed extra bright now and she stared right into it.  It made her eyes tear up.  That was what was making her eyes tear up.  “You're not coming to this dumb planet or to any other dumb planet in a whole galaxy of dumb planets.  Nope. You're cozy over in OR-277-whatever dumb star system.”  She swung the bottle out and back, testing it's weight.  She'd meant to throw it overhand but now she knew for sure she'd fall over herself if she did, and it didn't matter.  Distance wasn't the point-- she wanted to see it shatter.  She wanted to hear and see and feel it shatter.  Not even because she hated the slinger, or the bottle, or the rocks below, or the sky above she still couldn't see the stars through; but some sort of melodramatic, vengeful, grieving thing inside her thought that something else should shatter for once and she was the one that was going to make it happen, she was going to break something here and now, tonight.

   She swung out again, higher this time, and let go of the bottle.  It glinted in the pink-tinged light of the sunset, cartwheeling through the air, dipping down towards the ground, picking up speed until it hit the rocks.  The sound of the glass breaking apart broke through the warm suspense of the moment, high and sharp, the last few drops of slinger turning the rocks red like blood.

   “What would you do, Rey?” Ben asked softly as she stared, something rushed and desperate in his tone, as though he hadn't meant to say it but couldn't help himself.  “What would you do, if I came to find you right now?”

   Shatter.  Maybe. Maybe not.  She stared at the fake bloodstains on the rocks, unable to tell what she felt.  It was all a jumble, all a mess, and that wasn't just because of the slinger.  Everything in her head had been a mess since Ben had been shoved in there and she could drink slinger every night until she passed out and that would make no difference either way to the fundamental problem that was Ben's voice, and Ben's face, and Ben's scar, and Ben's lips, and Ben's everything.  “Be with you,” she said slowly, sounding it out, trying the words on for size to see if they fit.  They sounded right to her.

   “We tried that before.  I suggested that before.”

   “No.  Be with you really,” she disagreed, turning towards him.  The pink sunset light made his scar look darker than it was, and made his hair and clothes black as the furthest, coldest edge of the galaxy.  But Ben wasn't cold.  He pretended to be, but he wasn’t really.  “Finn and Rose are getting married,” she said abruptly, surprising both of them so that for a moment they could only blink at each other in confusion.

   “I don't know who Rose is,” Ben replied after a long moment, slowly, carefully, as though she was using some sort of code he might be expected to understand.

   “She's Finn's- she his- you know, his person,” she said, gesturing vaguely between herself and Ben to illustrate.  “His person.”

   He waited but she had nothing more to add so he said, “I have absolutely no idea how to respond to that.”

   “It's exciting,” Rey tried to explain, glancing away into the sun again before looking back at him.  “I don't know what-- I've never been to a wedding.  Slaves don't-- you know.  We get sold, sometimes.  Or maybe Unkar Plutt would have made a deal with another owner, for the extra money--.”

   “Stop,” Ben all but snarled, sudden realization flaring in his eyes, in his whole body, rage and pain striking like lightning in the bond and the part of her mind that felt the most extreme bits of what he was feeling, his hand twitching in the Force as though he'd had an instinctive and barely resisted urge to call his lightsaber to him from where it hung on his belt, to fight what had threatened her, to cut down a past she'd been safe from for years.  “Don't, don't say it, don't even think it.  You're not a slave anymore, Rey.”

   “Well, I mean, barely,” she said, watching him with somewhat bleary interest.  “I think I technically would be, but if I get captured I'll be executed instead of returned, so--.”

   “I will never let that happen,” he said in a flat, dangerous tone, hand on his lightsaber hilt as though he at least needed to touch it, to know it was there. “I will kill anything in the galaxy that tries to hurt you.  I'll go to Jakku and kill Plutt and every other slave trader I can find. I'll cut them into pieces myself.”

   This was a shocking declaration, coming from Ben, and not because she thought at all that he didn't mean it or hadn't meant it somewhere within himself before saying it just now, but because he meant it so incredibly fiercely, his emotions roiling in the Force, every part of him tight with intended malice.  In some ways it was the most dark she'd ever seen or felt him, and to experience that first hand, and have the view into his mind showing her the fear and pain it came from, would have been dizzying at any time.  Now, with the slinger souring her thoughts and her movements and even blurring the edges of her words like running watercolor, it was far beyond what she could even begin to try and comprehend.

   “Ben,” she said- asked?- appealed?, but he was staring away from her now, down and into the middle distance, everything in him contained savagery, his expression so remote it was like this Ben was just a picture and the rest of him had withdrawn to the stars again.  “Ben, I meant- I didn't want- I wasn't going to, I mean, say what- I wasn't trying to make you mad.”

   “I'm not mad,” he ground out, entirely contradicting everything in front of her, but she knew what he meant.

   “It's going to be a nice wedding, I think,” she mumbled, at a loss for what to say next.  She longed for him, that was the problem, soaking her thoughts and days and waking and sleeping hours like water in soil, holding her together, washing her apart, feeding her slinger after slinger after slinger at parties where he was and wasn't, in a life where he was and wasn't; she was sick of it.  Of it and with it.  “Rose is- was- a slave like me, so she doesn't know anything about weddings, and Finn says the First Order doesn't have weddings either, so we're all just kind of making it up.  Leia's helping a lot.”

   “Good,” Ben said briefly, and she could feel him struggling, within himself, in the Force, struggling to calm himself, to speak to her softly, to contain what he was feeling and stay here and talk with her.

   “But it's, it's just that... it's hard too, sometimes,” she said equally softly, trying to help him, if she could, but also trying to say what she was feeling herself.  “Because I don't know if we could- I mean, for me- well, with not being a slave anymore, kind of, I still don't know if that will be a thing, for me.”

   He took in a long breath, let it out.  “Planning weddings?”

   “Having weddings.  Well, a wedding.  I mean, I assume just one wedding.  If that's, you know, if you could.  Do that.  If you wanted to. Someday.”

   His eyes finally flicked back up to find hers, his expression dazed, as if he'd had a bit of slinger himself and it'd hit him all at once.  In the bond he'd gone suddenly blank with shock.  “If I wanted to someday,” he repeated.

   “I mean, Leia's your mother, so you know about weddings, probably,” she said, wishing she still had the bottle in her hands if only for something to do, something to fiddle with. Instead she was just running her hands over the fabric of her clothes, making them grimier and grimier while she talked to Ben Solo about impossible things, things she never would have said while sober, things she never could have said that seemed to just trip and tumble out of her now like the words were rushing to get free while they had their chance.  “But the First Order doesn't have them according to Finn, and I don't have them, still being a slave kind of in theory, so it seems- when I think about it- it seems a little--.”

   “I would,” he said, straightening up, staring at her with an expression so changed from his rage and malice before it made her stomach swoop uneasily as though she'd made a hard turn either right or left, throwing her off-balance with the sensation that she was talking to a completely different person than she'd thought.  That Ben had been all dark.  This Ben was suddenly and completely all light, all glad surprise and gratification and hope, softening him almost as much as the slinger blurred him around the edges, the sunset's strong desert light painting him in rose and gold, temporarily washing color into all the stark black and white.  “Rey, I- I would, with you.  For you.  If you- if that- do you want it?  That?”

   “I mean, don't you?” she asked, temporarily made shy by his response and by how he looked right now, how beautiful, and how near.

   “Yes,” he breathed, a rush of emotion within him, within her.  “Rey, I don't- I couldn't- it's the only thing I want.  It's the only thing I- if I could only have one thing in the galaxy- if I could only want one thing ever again, ever in my life, I'd want- that.  You.”

    It was too much.  It was too much and too little, at the same time, that he could say that and mean that and feel that, so much that it pushed it into her too, and be so far away, so out of reach, that he could look so here and be there when she needed him, wanted him, dreamed about him at night--.

   “Ben,” she breathed, almost exactly the same as he had, a rush, a feeling as much as a word. “When- when I think about that- you know that I don't, I don't know anything about this, you know that?  About how that works, about weddings, and- and having someone, being with someone, like that--.”

   “I don't care,” he said immediately, finality in his tone, as though that was the least important issue there could be when she was sure, suddenly and terribly sure, that it was the most important and that it had to be said, now, in this moment, while she still could.

   “But- but Ben, you're not thinking, you're not thinking about this, about me,” she disagreed, hugging her arms around herself even though it was just as warm now as it had been a moment before.  “We- slaves- we don't want all of that.  The, the being with someone.  Not just because of how it happens,” she added quickly, heading him off as he tried to speak, tried, she was sure, to forbid her to bring that past life up again. “But slaves don't want children.  Because we don't get to keep them.  But isn't it different now, for me?  I mean, I could if I wanted, and if you wanted, now.”

   “You could,” he agreed, an undercurrent of nerves and of something else she couldn't name suddenly clouding his feelings in the bond.  “If you wanted that, with me, I would.”

   She swayed slightly, studying him.  He'd seemed happy when she'd said the thing about the wedding, and she'd thought saying what she'd said about wanting children would be about the same but it wasn't at all.  She wished that she was sober, but briefly, just long enough to understand him but not long enough to interrupt this conversation before she could get it to wherever it was maybe going.  “You don't seem to like that,” she said finally.

   “’Like that’?” he repeated, laughing under his breath in a sour way and clasping his hands behind his back, looking down at his feet.  “Not really, no. I have no reason to believe I'd be a good father.  It seems unlikely, if my past is anything to judge me by.  But if it's something you want I'd be willing to accommodate it,” he added, looking back up at her, a slight frown creasing the corners of his eyes.

   She frowned back, weighing that in her mind, then sniffed.  “Well, I don't know what that means at all,” she said huffily.  “I don't know what 'accommodate' has to do with it.  If you don't want a family with me you can just say.”

   “Rey,” he sighed, but now she'd had more than enough of this conversation and turned away, a difficult maneuver to manage on a rock ledge only three side-to-side porgs wide but she managed it without falling down either the drop that was one Chewie from the ground or the drop that was one and-a-half end-to-end X-wings from the ground, with only a very small Force push to keep herself from slipping.  'Accommodate'? Like... like she'd said something absurd but he'd bear with it for her sake.  Well, and how special that made her.  She felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes again as the slinger swung her mood like a pendulum, taking her from annoyance to humiliation between one breath and the next as she started down the ledge back to the place where she'd climbed her way to the top before.  He would put up with having a family with her.  He'd put up with having children if he really just had to, if she was going to pitch a fit any other way.  She never should have said anything about it at all.

   “Rey,” he sighed again, somewhere behind her, maybe actually him, maybe just an echo now, she wasn't about to turn around and see which it was.  And even if it was actually him, it wasn't.  Real Ben wasn't much better than just an echo at the end of the day, real Ben just hurt a bit more, and made her sad a bit more, and made her want to kick something a bit more.  She found the slope where she'd climbed up and started back down, using the Force fairly sloppily in finding handholds and footholds but still managing.  She was more drunk than when she'd gone up, but also had two hands free, so it about evened out.  Maybe a foot or two from the bottom she missed a step and slid down the last bit, landing on her backside in the sand, as if she'd sat down. It jarred her hard but the sand on this side was soft and it didn't really hurt; it did make her bite her tongue, however, and was enough to start the tears up all over again.

   “Are you alright?” Ben asked softly from somewhere to her left.  She shook her head, staring at the red stone in front of her, gone gray and murky in the twilight on this side of the ridge where the sunset couldn't be seen.

   “You could just say,” she said bitterly, feeling tears roll down her cheeks, dripping red-tinged from her chin as they picked up bits of this planet's sand and dust smeared into her skin.  “If you don't want to.  Or if you don't want to with me.”

   “There isn't anyone I would have that with but you,” he replied in a tired-sounding voice, as though he was the one going drunk rock-climbing.   “I just can't fathom why you, or anyone, would think I could be a father.”

   “So you don't want to?” she said, looking down at her hands, dragging her fingers through the sand.

   He hesitated then came towards her until he was standing nearly in front of her, still a couple of steps away, studying her as she leaned back to look at him.  In the sunset he'd seemed almost like some kind of dream painting; now he looked like a shadow among other shadows, his blurred edges nearly indistinguishable from the gloom around them. “I wouldn't say I don't want to, Rey,” he said softly, “but I fear it.  Can't you feel how much I fear it?”

   She hesitated, searching for him in the bond.  She didn't feel much fear from him, exactly; she knew what his fear felt like in its many forms, and this wasn't the same as that, though she couldn't say why or how.

   “See?” he confirmed anyway, as though he could take her agreement for granted. “What would I have to teach a child, Rey?  What could I give any son or daughter of mine?  With Han and Luke and Snoke for examples in front of me,” he muttered, shaking his head, looking up as though he could see the same sky she saw as the sun finally set, allowing darkness to steal across the horizon.  “Why would you want me for your child's father?”

   “You're lying,” she accused, pushing herself to her feet.

   “I'm not,” he replied in surprised tone, looking back down at her.

   “I don't feel fear in you, Ben Solo,” she said, squaring up to him, swallowing the sandy feeling in her mouth and throat that had suddenly come back with a vengeance.  Damn slinger, and damn whoever had come up with that foul drink.  “A little, maybe, but you just don't want to.”

   “Is that what you think?”

   “I feel...” she considered for a moment, her head aching with the strain of it.  Where was her bed?  She wanted to go to sleep, not stand here having conversations going nowhere with people who weren't anywhere.  “Shame,” she decided.  “It feels like shame.  And you're sad.  And you think I think things that I don't think, which isn't very fair of you, because I've never told you what you think even when you think dumb things that don't make sense to anyone.”

   “I'm ashamed that I can't give you that,” he said, as though he was being forced to say it, as though it was a monumental task to even get out the words.  “I'm ashamed that I'm not able to give you that.”

  “You- you- Ben, you make things up!” Rey shouted, her voice ringing off the spires, her tears clear as they stained the front of her tunic now that they'd tracked through most of the dirt on her cheeks.  “No one's ever said you wouldn't be a good father.  You'd be a great father!  You'd- you'd love your children.  You'd take care of them, and protect them, and teach them, and be honest with them and patient with them-- I know you would.”

   “And how do you know any of that?”

   “Well, because that's you,” she said, befuddled by the question, by the idea that any of what she'd said was something she had to somehow prove to him, now, when she was drunk, and kind of lost, and it was getting so dark that Ben was becoming more and more a part of the nighttime and she half expected him to just fade away into the darkness and become part of it. “That's what you're like.  I mean, you're very temperamental,” she added, just in case he thought she was giving him a free pass when she wasn't.  “And moody.  And your whole First Order thing is all wrong, and you're stubborn and the most, most irritating person I've ever met, and you never think about other people's feelings and you'll probably say dumb things sometimes, but that's only part of you.  And it's the only part of you you ever see.”

  The tears really were falling now, making it difficult to get out what she was trying to say as her mouth tried to screw up on her and her head ached and ached, and her whole front was a blotchy red and white and she was going to have a terrible time washing her things tomorrow, but something about him felt clearer in the bond, lighter again than it had been.  “Ben, you're not just the bad things about you,” she tried again.  “And you're not just the good things either, but you're good when you love someone, or at least you can be.  You try to be.  And that's something, isn't it?”

   “Is that what you see in me?” he asked, his voice soft and his eyes soft, two black marks in his face like pieces of the darkness themselves.  “Is that what you think?”

   “Well, it's true.  I mean, that's what you're like with me and you love me, don't you?”

   She'd meant it just to prove her point, not thinking, and the thoughts were out and real and said before she could consider that it was the first time that word had come up, the first time it'd been used between them, certainly the first time she'd ever asked him anything about it.  For a moment they just stared at each other, her appalled, him considering, and night bore down on the planet and above her the first stars came out.

   “Yes, Rey,” Ben said finally. “Yes, I do.  I love you.”

   She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, looking away from him and swiping her hand across her face, smudging the tears away as much as she could.  “Well, that's how I know, then,” she said a happy feeling rising in her despite everything, making her smile even though her lips were still trembling, even though a couple more tears fell.  “So you have to give yourself a chance, Ben.  You have to give us a chance to try things you don't think you'll be good at.  I mean, it's not like I know anything about mothering,” she pointed out, turning back to him.

   “You'll be an exceptional mother.”

   “Not necessarily,” she sniffled, but he smiled at her, a soft, genuine, Ben smile that seemed to make the world brighter, better, warmer, the stars shining down on them like a blessing from wherever he really was.

   “Should I tell you what you're like, the same way you told me?” he teased gently, taking a step towards her.  “You'd love our children too.  You'd give them your strength, your fearlessness, your determination.  You'd teach them all the things I can't; how to care for others, how to stand your ground against anyone, how to trust and how to heal and how to love.  Because that's what you're like with me and you love me, don't you?”

   “Well, I'm thinking about it,” she muttered as he stopped just shy of her, making her look up to see him.  “I might be able to accommodate it, you know.”

   “Loving me?” he clarified, his smile breaking into a knowing grin, the blurriness of his outline making him and the night sky blend together above her so that the stars seemed for a moment to be a part of him, threaded into his hair and resting on his shoulders, a silvery, gleaming, impossible man, on the other side of the galaxy but also loving her here.

   “Maybe,” she allowed, smiling back, rubbing her arms as the night's chill began to steal over her, making use of the wetness of her tunic to remind her that it was time to find shelter for the night.

   “Do you love me, Rey?” he asked, as softly as the sky, as the breeze, the stars themselves asking as they gilded him and turned him into one of them.

   “Of course I love you, Ben,” she replied, just as softly.  “Of course I do.”

   They stood there like that, together, silently, staring into each other's eyes as the bond between them filled with a pure and nameless emotion, a shared mix of gladness and need and love and wonder, wonder at each other, wonder at a galaxy in which this could exist, in which two people could find one another and feel so much, care so much.  It seemed almost as though it shouldn’t have been impossible, as though it shouldn’t have been allowed, this precious thing they shared, and in the bond their wonder transformed into a profound gratitude, each to the other and both to the universe for giving them this.

   “Marry me, Rey,” Ben said at last, whispering, as though he feared to say it too loud and disrupt this perfect moment.

   “I've already asked you,” she whispered back, grinning.

   “And now I'm asking you.  So say yes.”

   “Yes,” she agreed.

   “I will give you anything you want,” he promised, and it felt different, like a promise made in this moment, in the midst of this feeling, with the stars as their witness, was as much an act of binding together as the Force bond itself had been.  “And if a family is what you want, I will give you that in the best way I am capable of.  I don't know what that is, or what that means, but if it's what you want from me, it's yours.”

   “We'll learn together,” Rey promised back.  “I'll help you, and you'll help me.  We'll be together, Ben.  We'll be together and it will always feel this way.  Always.”

   “I don't know how,” he admitted.

   “We'll make it real,” she told him, sure, entirely, as if a Force vision had told her so, as if she could see the inevitable path of their lives, coming together and staying that way.  “We'll find a way.”

   He looked at her, his face inches from hers and somewhere far away, the desert night coming down to earth to become hers, to fill her heart with all of this emotion, to fill her life with all of this love.  Not just his love-- hers.  She'd never loved, really loved, anyone or anything, until she'd known Ben.  And he looked at her and Rey could tell that he knew.

   “Where are you, Rey?” he asked.

   “If I told you, would you come to me?”

   “Not tonight,” he said, smiling.  “But soon.”  And then, between one blink and the next, he was gone, and there were only stars and empty sky in the place where he had been.

   Rey swayed, surprised by the sudden absence, almost stumbling but catching herself in the next moment.  The planet was quiet around her; the Rebel party, which she'd forgotten about completely, was still going strong, and she realized that as long as her time with Ben had felt it hadn't been that long at all.  Just one sunset, one sunset and a little nighttime, and that had been all it took to say so much, to feel so much, to cry and to rage and to agree to marry Ben Solo, and hear him agree to marry her.

   There was no point wondering about the how's.  Useless.  Waste of time.  She turned, wending her way towards where she thought the shelters were, thinking, thinking, thinking, through the blur of the slinger and the headache that kept pounding at her, tripping up her steps.  If she thought about how’s she'd only give herself bad dreams so instead she thought about when’s, when she and Ben would be together, when she and Ben would have a family, when she and Ben would get to feel like this for real, in the same place, every day, every night, and all the hours in between. Would the bond still exist then?  Or would it fade when they didn't need it anymore, when their nearness and their love and their eternity together meant they were never apart, never far enough away to ever miss each other like they had before.

   She found the path at last, stumbling over it between one spire and the next, a tamped-down track glowing faintly silver from how tightly the sand was packed here, running on to where she needed to go.  She looked up, studying the stars suspiciously, but their twinkling light was all innocence.  If they were guiding her home they didn't seem to want any credit for it.  The spires, however, leaned toward her as suspiciously as ever, their faceless heights smug with everything they'd seen.

   “You just keep it to yourselves,” she muttered to them in a warning tone, turning towards the shelters and her bed.  They didn't respond, but she liked them better that way. The stars, however, kept her company as they always had.  It was still a terrible kind of planet, but these were desert stars, as close and as familiar, as far and as real, as the man she was going to marry someday.

////////////////////////////////////

A/N: Ask and you shall receive.  And receive.  And receive.  This turned out to be a 9k oneshot, which I have no excuse for.  What can I say?  Drunk Rey thinks in run-on sentences.  Had to jerry-rig the prompt a bit, since the wanting-to-kiss him bit just wasn’t working.  Pleased with what it became, though-- I’ve never written a Reylo proposal before!!  Fun times As always, all my Reylo oneshots and fics are at Ao3, if you’re in the mood for more:https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_do_i_turn_this_thing_off

[redroverrider]

My thoughts on Star Wars Episode IX.  Posted this on my Insta and realized I never posted it here

Ok, I know people are going to disagree no matter what I say so there’s no use lying about it, so I’ll tell you how I honestly feel about it.

Also, THERE ARE SPOILERS in this review

There’s really no easy way to put it, because I both loved it and didn’t like it at the same time. There were parts that I really liked, parts that I didn’t like at all, and parts that I have very mixed feelings over.

Least favorite things:

Rey and Poe’s interactions between the two of them. I was excited to see how they would be portrayed as friends and how the writers would have them relate to each other, but they didn’t seem to have that much chemistry together. 

I know I’m in the minority on this, but the interactions between Rey, Finn, and Poe all together didn’t feel very convincing or entertaining. Individually, I thought Finn and Rey and Finn and Poe were great. But as a trio, they just seemed really off. And I was really excited to see how they would be as trio together for the first time.

Hux being the spy made no sense at all to me, and the idea of why there needed to be a spy within the First Order didn’t make much sense either. (I’m going to cover this specific gripe more in depth in another post.) 

I was expecting Kaydel Ko Connix (Billie Lourd) to be given a bit more of a role in this movie, particularly since Lourd’s mother Carrie Fisher has passed away and because she was shown to be on board with Poe’s mutiny in The Last Jedi. I thought this movie would have been a great opportunity to flesh out her character more, but it seemed like all she did was pop up now and then to deliver a line or two.

Finn’s connection with Rose just seemed completely forgotten about. Like, the two of them spend more than half of the last movie together, and in the next film they barely say 5 sentences to each other? And we’re not really even given a reason why they pretty much just stopped interacting with each other either.

The very ending of the movie didn’t seem like a very proper conclusion to the Skywalker Saga. I might express my feeling on this in another post as well. 

Favorite things:

Pretty much every actor did an amazing job at their role. 

Kylo/Ben’s conversation with Han Solo was an incredible scene. Seeing how Ben’s changed, given everything he’s been through since he last saw him, and now he knows that his light side is unavoidable, that there is definitely good in him, and how he must accept that. It was so heartbreaking and so heartwarming at the same time, and I loved watching every second of it. (Especially when he calls Han Solo “dad”? Ugh. Tears.)

The lightsaber duel between Rey and Kylo on the remains of the second Death Star was incredible. Probably not my favorite out of the whole series, but its definitely up there.

There interactions between Finn and Rey and between Finn and Poe were really nice to see

The way that Rey hears the voice of all the past Jedi was great.

The space battle at the end was incredible

I was getting doubtful if it would happen as the movie went on, but Wedge Antilles’ cameo near the end was super satisfying to see.

Ben Solo literally running to fight alongside Rey, and then coming back to hold her? Yes, yes, yes.

Mixed Opinions

The Knights of Ren. It was cool to see them finally, and seeing the turn against Ben and fight him before he got to Rey was great, but I felt that there was so much more they could have done, and at one or two points they didn’t seem super necessary in their scenes. It’s almost like, at those points, they could have just been replaced by some kind of Special Ops Stormtrooper squad. (Kinda like the Death Troopers in Rogue One and Rebels)

Rey being the granddaughter of Palpatine. On one hand, it did make sense, and on the other hand, at the same time, it didn’t. Like part of me feels “Wow. This is so interesting and intriguing and it explains so much” and the other part of me feels like “This seems like an idea they threw in on the last day of writing the script just to see what would happen.” (The idea of Finn being Force-sensitive feels a little like this too, but maybe that’s a discussion for a different day.)

The Reylo kiss. Yes, they went there. And yes, I am forever grateful that it happened. Reylo is canon, everybody! We won. But Ben dies giving his life force to Rey? Not sure how I feel about that. Seeing someone sacrifice their life to make sure their loved one can live? That’s amazing. But at the same time…why? Like why did Ben Solo dying have to be the ending that was written? He’s finally been redeemed, and now that means he has to die? And we’ll never see anything else Ben and Rey get to do together, with their bond and their power? Like I said, very mixed feelings       *sigh*

So where do we go from here? (Or, what do us Reylo shippers do now?) Do we accept that Ben is dead and that’s the final note on Reylo? Do we get angry at J.J. Abrams & co. for killing him? Do we realize that this is fiction and we can therefore interpret, view, and enjoy it in any way that we like?

Well I don’t know exactly how to feel about this. But I do know that I am still a huge Reylo shipper and I probably always will be. It’s my number 1 OTP. So I will still be posting Reylo stuff and being on here with you guys as often as I can for as long as I can. 

For the people that have decided not to continue now that Ben is dead, that’s your decision, so I won’t try and talk you out of it. If you change your mind, great, and if not, thats perfectly fine too. Just know that I will miss you and we do hope you come back sometime.

This goes without saying, but all of these are only my personal opinion and I’m not saying anyone is wrong for thinking otherwise. If you want to disagree or debate, please do so respectfully and I’ll try and do the same. 

Happy New Year, my friends. May you all have a great year, and may we continue to have fun here together. :)

[eyecantread]

So I saw Rise of Skywalker tonight

After the fandom splitting controversy that was The Last Jedi this movie had a big challenge to live up to in creating a satisfying ending to the latest trilogy in a beloved series. This movie failed to do that. J.J. Abrams went into this knowing that trying to satisfy everyone is a losing game. But he ended up satisfying no one. Spoilers after the break.

This movie tried to ‘correct’ The Last Jedi in the worst possible way it could - it tried to pretend that the movie didn’t exist. They couldn’t undo a lot of things, obviously, like Snoke and Luke dying, but everything that they could undo or ignore they did. Rey’s parents weren’t nobody - her father was Emperor Palpatine’s son and he chose to be a nobody to hid from his dad for reasons we don’t learn. The Resistance off-screen was apparently able to rapidly rebuild and recruit after being reduced to a band of less than 20 and one ship and it’s never explained. Instead of writing Rose Tico into a better plot or giving her character development, the writers just decided to give her much less screen time. The “Holdo Maneuver” is dismissed as a one-in-a-million trick even though ramming a ship seems like a pretty surefire tactic, albeit a suicidal one. Ren’s status as Supreme Leader of the First Order is sort of meaningless given that he immediately starts taking orders from Palpatine. Reylo got confirmed in spite of Ren trying super hard at the end of the last movie to kill Rey. J.J. Abrams’ biggest weakness as a creative is that he never plans things out from the outset. He just makes things up as he goes, which isn’t bad in and of itself, but he also likes to create intriguing questions that get audiences hooked if for no other reason than to figure out the answer. But he creates questions that he doesn’t have an answer for. This leads to dissatisfying answers like all the characters in Lost being dead all along.  Also, plot threads tend to get forgotten. We never learned how Maz got Anakin’s Lightsaber. We never learned exactly how Palpatine survived - cloning is mentioned but never confirmed. We never learned on screen what Finn wanted to tell Rey when Poe wasn’t around - Abrams had to tell the audience after the film debuted that it was that he was force sensitive, which I thought they were kind of hinting the deserting stormtrooper all were, but they never went there so maybe I misread that bit. Most infuriatingly to me, the Knights of Ren don’t do anything. I wasn’t expecting them to have character development - they were absent for two movies and it would be absurd to think they’d have the time for it - but good God they didn’t do anything on screen except look menacing until it came time for Ben to come to Rey’s rescue. We were told in the previous film that they’re also Luke’s former students, but they never use Force powers or a Lightsaber. They don’t even have energy weapons like the praetorian guards had. Our heroes never encounter them, they just loom over them menacingly and chase them. Also, when the main characters were regrouping in the asteroid field (because 16 hours to find a planet and mobilize an assault force is a lot of time), was that the Knights of Ren shown to be shadowing them? Or was it just an unrelated ship that decided to leave the same time they did and was just parked behind an asteroid out of the main character’s view? If it was the Knights of Ren, why didn’t they attack? Why is the Emperor’s plan to get Rey to kill him when he could just drain her life force from the start? This movie’s most satisfying moment for me came when general Hux got shot twice.  I guess they did allude to Palpatine’s survival though. In Episode VII Anakin’s lightsaber was revealed to have been recovered from a bottomless chasm without explanation. I guess that counts as foreshadowing Palpatine doing the same.

[stardust--and--magic]

I'm overwhelmed y'all!

My Reylo piece got like 100+ notes, like WHHHHAAAT???? I'm utterly flabbergasted and I'm not even sure if I'm reacting to this correctly.

That may not seem like much at all considering there are pages on here with much larger followings and thousands of notes on their posts. The whole reason I dug up this forgotten tumblr blog of mine was to find help me find my passion for creating again and have a place to share it. The views, likes, reblogs, whatever - those things never mattered even when I posted regularly on other sites years ago. But I didn't expect the simple act of people just liking silly things that I've drawn or written to affect me so much the last few weeks. I've pretty much have spent it trying not to cry and I have the ugliest cry face in the world too.

For background, I used to draw and post my artwork quite regularly years ago, mostly on deviantArt (though I can't even access that page anymore cause I'm dumb, changed the password a year and a half ago, and now can't remember it - I'vetried recovering it 3 times but dA customer service hella sucks). I also wrote fanfiction on FF . Net but that was on and off.

Around 2011/2012 though, everything started to go downhill. As my life, in general, started falling apart at the seams, it effectively killed any drive I had to be creative, whether it was through art or writing. I essentially went into survival mode for a number of years and the effect it had on my art was devastating.

It couldn't be helped, and with time and a lot of effort, I'm in a better place now, but I can clearly remember the deep depression I fell into and everything it affected. I remember trying and one day, I just couldn't bring myself to draw anymore. I couldn't think of ideas and when I did, I would either stare at a blank piece of paper for hours, or work on it for 5 minutes before crumpling it and throwing it away. I essentially lost a sizable chunk of myself and I've tried for years to recover it.

In 2015, I tried posting again but shortly after, I fell back into the dark hole I'd been hiding in. It didn't make me happy and I couldn't do it anymore. So I stopped. Again. And it hurt like hell.

I was so distraught and disappointed in myself that I would go on and convince myself that I had other things more important to do than dabbling in my childish dream to draw and write. That I wasn't that person anymore.

Every once in a while, a friend would ask me to draw something cute, or my son would ask for a superhero, and I'd oblige. Most of these, however, were just doodles on napkins or scrap pieces of paper meant to be forgotten. It didn't feel like me.

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when I decided to just give this journey to find myself one more shot cause the internet is a deep pit that consumes my soul (thank you, Lokane fandom!). With a lot of convincing from my SO (bless the UNIVERSE for that man and his neverending patience), I started drawing and writing, and I started posting. Then after a few notes (literally like the first 5-10), I found myself sitting in alone in my bathroom, about to cry with my brain going, "Holy shit! Someone actually liked this nonsense!"

Frankly, I'm not even sure I'm making much sense right now or if I'm sufficiently expressing why this has struck me so profoundly. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is:

All kind words, all the reblogs, and all the likes that I still don't feel like I deserve - just thank you! All you wonderful souls made this girl feel like she was valid again, both as an artist and as a person.

[undeadarcticfox]

Storytime, part 3

Also known as the tale of how I lost the last shreds of my sanity in a galaxy far far away.

Today’s topic is something that has been on my mind in general for 20 years and in particular for a year and a half. Star Wars. Specifically a certain ship associated with the Sequel Trilogy. You’ll see.

Warning. Long as fuck text-only post under the cut. Also I may curse occasionally. I apologize.

Let’s first go back to 1999. I’m four years old and watching The Phantom Menace with my brothers (aged 8 and 10). I think it looks awesome. I’m terrified of Darth Maul. I want to be a Jedi, too. I don’t understand a word of English nor can I read fast enough to keep up with the subtitles. Doesn’t stop me.

Before someone gets uppity about us watching the prequels, we did watch the OT as well. It just happened that it was the PT coming out that got us into Star Wars in the first place.

I find it somewhat interesting that as much as I feared Maul, Vader wasn’t scary at all to me. I think it had something to do with the fact that he’s masked, but with Maul, that’s his actual face. Masks can be scary, but they’re not real. I did find Palpatine creepy as fuck, though.

Throughout the years I’ve seen I-VI so many times I can still quote all the scenes. I like ‘em and all, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything. In 2015 I start to hear talk about more films coming out. I don’t know how I should feel about it. I choose not to watch them because I’m convinced it’s gonna ruin everything or something. I hear some plot- and character-related info but kinda disregard it completely.

Jumping forward to March, 2018. Right here on Tumblr, someone I follow for a completely different and unrelated fandom, reblogs a few images and gifs pertaining to TLJ. To be more specific, it was that bit where Rian Johnson talked about “closest thing to a sex scene in Star Wars“ and I’m like WTF is this what’s going on?

Jump again to June, 2018. I have a day off from work and for some incomprehensible reason I decide to watch both TFA and TLJ in a row. I somewhat knew what to expect, but not really.

To summarize, I knew these things:

TFA: -Han dies -The one who kills him is his and Leia’s son -The son is some kind of Vader-wannabe -I know what name he goes by (important wording, I assure you) and somewhat what he looks like (but no details) -The new hero is some random girl -They have a fight at some point, she wins

TLJ: -Luke dies -Apparently the scene I’ve heard so much about is here. It involves handholding? Between the two characters who were fighting last time. And it seems that shipping them together is a Thing. Interesting.

Well, having been thoroughly spoiled, TFA didn’t have a lot of surprises for me. I can only recall two, and they both involve a certain person in a mask. First surprise: Holy shit he’s kinda goodlooking now what is he doing that’s not how you interrogate someone now is it what the hell are you doing? Second surprise: His name is Ben? Han and Leia named their kid after Obi-wan? Cool. Dude what the fuck do you think you’re doing that’s your dad!

Have to also point out that I was in awe that this guy is even conscious at the end. First getting shot in the side with a weapon that sends most people flying, then getting hit with a lightsaber on his arm, his shoulder, his leg, AND his face? Are you sure that guy’s human?

Well, that was an interesting movie. Give me more.

(This turned into a fucking memoir about TLJ now. I’m sorry.)

Seriously, you’re starting with a your mom joke? Are you kidding me? Funny and all, but come on. Luke why are you such an asshole what happened to you? Well look who’s here. Dude when did you last sleep you look worse than me. And wait a minute they moved the wound on your face. Fuck you Snoke I hope you die.

Dude what the fuck you gonna kill your mom next? Oh, you didn’t. I’m sorry I yelled at you, then. Holy shit Leia what you do that’s awesome!

Umm what? How are you two seeing each other this is intriguing. I have no idea what’s going on but I like it.

Again? What is this thing how is it happening I want to know. Wait a minute there’s water on his face how did it get there.

Sir, I do believe you’ve forgotten your shirt. I’m not complaining, though.

Now wait just a minute this is that handholding scene I read about. I like it. A lot. Luke you just killed the moment!

So what exactly happened, then, Luke? You almost tried to kill him and he ran off and everybody’s dead? There’s a lot we’re missing here.

Rey what the hell are you planning now...

Well, this is one interesting elevator ride you two are having. Rey! Ever heard of personal space? Seriously you two look five seconds away from making out.

Fuck you again Snoke I now hate you even more. Are you trying to be all Palpatine here or something?

Now wait a fucking minute what is your left hand doing there OHMYGODHOLYSHIT you killed him just like that. And now a fight. Awesome teamwork.

Dude you did NOT just propose did you? Holy shit that’s a bad choice of words you have there. Aaand everything’s going to shit. Again.

Well, that was an experience. I can kinda see why you would want to ship it.

A month later I watch them again. And a third time on August 3rd. This is an important date, because it’s the day I went fuck it I ship it and started reading metas and fanfics. Now it’s been over a year and I still haven’t stopped.

Of course, it took me this long to finally admit publically that I ship it because I've seen how other reylos got treated and I wanted none of that. Especially since I happen to fit the stereotype to a tee.

But now that there’s under two months til TROS I finally say it. I fucking ship it with all my being. Come at me.

[emjayrey]

Reylo Oneshot

Sharing this again, don’t mind me.

You’re not alone.

Neither are you.

Their shared words buzzed in his ears, reverberating in the dark recesses of his mind. The words of a promise forgotten, discarded… abandoned.

He lifted his heavy eyelids slowly as if it was arduous work and lazily let his eyes scan the room without moving his head. The room was dark, lit only by the morning light that fell through the meticulously carved openings in the ceiling above him, illuminating the darkness with freckles of light.

Freckles… he thought, then immediately pushed the unwelcome thought out of his mind. But there was no one here to chastise him for it anymore. No longer was there a constant, hovering presence coiled tightly around his mind like a serpent around its prey. No. For the first time in his life that presence was gone. He’d killed it when he’d dissected Snoke.

Another old thing dead.

Now here he sat in his throne –just as he had always wanted- as the highest ranking member of the First Order, the most powerful man in the galaxy: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

He scoffed to himself and the sound echoed in the emptiness. If this is what he’d always wanted then why did there feel like something was missing?

Her face came to mind. Tanned skin. Dark brown hair resting gently at her shoulders. Hazel eyes capable of piercing his fractured, guarded soul that would leave him feeling disarmed and vulnerable in a way that made his heart stutter and ache simultaneously.

Rey.

But she’d left him. They’d fought together on the Finalizer -side by side, back to back- against the Praetorian Guards and in that moment Light and Dark had been in perfect harmony. Equals in the Force.

He clenched his gloved fists tightly.

She’d told him it wasn’t too late for him, assured him he wasn’t alone, promised to help him and then she’d left him. After everything. They’d shared this inexplicable bond. He murdered his master for her. Hell, he offered her the whole damn galaxy… and she abandoned him. Like he was nothing.

His hand shot out to grab the hilt of his lightsaber that rested beside him. Igniting the saber, he spun and sliced the crackling, red blade through the throne. Again and again and again, screaming in wordless agony until the throne was a mess of burning debris. His chest heaved with each breath as he struggled to even it as he straightened, shaking the hair out of his eyes.

And yet… she hadn’t killed him. She had left him, but she’d left him alive when she’d been given the perfect opportunity to quell him. Why had she spared him? That was the question that kept him awake the past few nights since she’d been gone. The naïve boy inside him hoped that it was because she cared for him.

He gazed at the destroyed throne, despondent. He’d thought this had been what he’d always wanted. The throne, the title, the power… but the only thing he really wanted was Rey.

He hung his head in anguish, searching for her Force signature and again finding nothing. He could sense her, yes, but he couldn’t reach her. He couldn’t quite forge the connection. There was a resistance, like someone holding a door closed. She was keeping him out, he realized, and in that moment he’d never felt so alone. With a quivering chin and a broken voice, he whispered two pleading words into the empty room.

“Come back…”

 -

 Rey could feel him again, trying to reach her through the Force, interrupting her quiet conversation with Leia.

“It’s Ben, isn’t it?” Leia inquired, leaning forward slightly. The hope in her voice was unmistakable.

Rey had already explained to the General of what had transpired during her time away. She had tried to keep her prior connection with Kylo Ren a secret, but General Leia was a smart woman. She noticed the scar on Rey’s shoulder, her family’s severed lightsaber, Rey’s peculiar behavior. She put the pieces of the puzzle together quickly and Rey had no mind to lie to her.

“Yes,” Rey breathed, struggling to keep him out.

Come back…

The words- his words- drifted to her through the Force weakly and Rey closed her eyes with a mixture of guilt and longing. When he was gone, she finally met Leia���s questioning gaze.

“He’s still trying to reach me,” Rey told her.

Leia smiled knowingly. “He’s always been a persistent one. He’s like his father in that way.” Rey remained quiet and Leia sighed softly, pursing her lips. “You’ve done everything you can. We all have. The only one who can save him now is himself.”

She nodded solemnly, trying to accept Leia’s words. After the moment in the hut, she’d been so sure turning Kylo Ren would be easy. The conflict in him was insurmountable. In her vision of his future she had seen him standing beside her. But… he had stood beside her when they fought together in the throne room. Could that have been what her vision had meant to be of? Surely not. It wasn’t as much as what she saw, but how she felt in her vision. Warmth in her chest, peace in her soul, balance, and the comfort of knowing she’d never again be alone. And although she had Leia, Finn, Poe, Rose and the rest of the dwindling Resistance members here, she somehow still felt alone. Their company did not fill this specific kind of emptiness. She suspected there was only one who could make her feel whole.

“What exactly did he say to you, Rey?” Leia suddenly asked, ripping Rey from her stupor. “Where are you?”

“I’m here. I’m here,” Rey said, trying to assure not only Leia, but herself as well. She altogether ignored the first question, but Leia’s gaze was expectant.

There were a few details Rey had kept from Leia when explaining where she’d been. Like that she’d seen her son shirtless in his chambers. Or how she’d sought him out after her experience in the cave, knowing he was the only person who would understand. Or the wandering gazes in the elevator on the Finalizer. Or any of the strange and strong emotions that accompanied them. There were some things that were better to keep to herself.

“You’re distracted,” Leia observed.

“It’s just… there’s so much at stake,” Rey whispered. “If he doesn’t turn…”

“I spoke with Luke, you know. Just before he left us.”

Rey glanced quickly at her and swallowed nervously. What had Luke said to her? Had he told her that he’d seen Rey and her son touching hands? Had he told her that Rey had struck him down to defend Ben Solo? How much did Leia secretly know?

“’No one’s ever really gone’. That’s what he said to me when I told him I thought I’d truly lost Ben. There is still hope for him. It lives in me and it lives in you, Rey.” She lifted a hand –uneven with the tremors of age- and placed it gently over Rey’s heart. “In here. I may be an old woman, but I can see that much.”

Rey smiled softly.

“Now,” Leia said with a groan, straightening her back and pulling her hand away to rest in her lap, “I think it’s time we get some rest. While we can.”

 -

 Nights were the worst for Kylo Ren. When all traces of light had vanished and darkness blanketed the land. When only the moon was his company. But the moon was dark, too, in its own way, casting haunting shadows across his chambers. Shadows that somehow morphed into a familiar slender figure.

He pushed himself upright in bed, fingers gripping the blankets tightly. He closed his eyes as he couldn’t resist the urge to search for her once more, knowing it would be in vain.

But suddenly she was there, lying beside him in his bed. She was curled into a ball and snoring ever so lightly.

Rey.

All air escaped his lungs in amazement that he’d finally connected with her for the first time since Crait.

How? After days of failed attempts, why was it that he could find her now? Could it be because she was asleep? Yes… her guard was down as she slept and so Kylo had been able to open the door of the Force bond that shed usually braced shut.

He had deliberated with himself countless times over what he’d say to her when he saw her again, but now that she was here, he was stunned into silence. He hadn’t expected her to be asleep. He hadn’t expected to connect with her at all.

He settled back into the bed, turning on his side and propping himself up on one elbow. The edge of the blanket rested around her waist, exposing her upper half. She wore nothing but a thin, cotton top that hugged her small frame nicely and accentuated the curve of her waist. He tanned arms were bare for once -the wraps removed for the night- while one hand rest by her chest and the other was tucked beneath the down pillow. Her lips were parted enough that Kylo could feel her warm breath against his arm.

She shivered suddenly and goose pimples washed over smooth skin. He reached for the blanket slowly, cautiously, afraid that if he touched her she would disappear. Her eyelids fluttered and he froze, his heart beat as loud as fathiers hooves against a dirt racetrack. But she settled and he tucked the blanket under her chin.

She hummed softly, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispered. He wanted her to know, but he was afraid to tell her while she was awake. Afraid of her reaction- of her rejection. Apologizing while she was sleeping seemed to placate his conscience well enough.

Her eyebrows creased. “Ben?”

His mouth went dry as she uttered his name and he swallowed hard. Was she awake? No, her eyes were still closed. Should he speak? Should he let the moment pass, pretend he’d never said anything in the first place and hope he continued to go unnoticed? He should… but before he realized what he was doing, he spoke to her.

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

“Ben,” she sighed sweetly, eyes still closed as she wrapped an arm around his bare chest and nuzzled into him.

While his ears burned, his heart swelled inside his chest and a lump rose in his throat. He’d never allowed anyone to call him by that name. But Rey… she was different. She spoke it like it was a prayer. Soft, easy, true. He wanted to hear her say it in every possible connotation, but he knew that was far too much to ask.

[clairen45]

The Millenium Falcon: That’s My Ship!

My thoughtful Anon sent me one last long ask before coming out of anonymity. So I’m calling you out @lightaroundthecorner, and bid you an official welcome into the community. Wishing you all the best! This is how it went... I thought it was funny you assumed the “CocoReylo” moniker for a while. This was actually a pun for my French-speaking Reylos, since Cocorico is the rooster’s cry in French (and roosters are the emblem of France). It is a good one though, especially since you brought up Coco, the movie, the first time you reached out to me.

Hey Clairen, it’s the Coco Reylo Anon lol. Thx for the reply insight and analysis ♡(´ ▽｀).。! I’m also debating if I am glad or not I am a 2nd waver, but in the end I am just glad I did jump on the ship 3 months ago! It might sound odd but all the meta’s I’ve been reading really make my day and help me grow and better understand a story I love so much. It is a wonderful fandom! After what you wrote about creating a Tumblr account I am seriously considering it! I’ll let you know when I create. I’m also not a grand fan of the new BatB film and have my fair share of issues with it, but having watched it after hearing a great amount of comments I decided to go to the movie and see if I could make sense of the plot emotionally speaking and I’m glad it worked! It is crazy how these plots end up having so much in common (they are so organic / happen to naturally parallel). I never thought about the book / mirror and rose parallels but I loved what you brought! I remember wayward Jedi mentioning that a wilted flower represents lack of love. Rey’s parents are not coming back and Beast could only be saved if he loved someone and that person loved him back. The Heroine journey is truly about intimacy and belonging (Ben and Rey need each other’s magic). Now what hit me hard was the MF parallel!!! Never thought of that, although I admit I have this canon in my head that after Ben comes back he will feel he can’t stay with everyone and act like nothing happened. So, in a  way like his father, he would feel the need to travel with no destination in mind (a need to see the galaxy and try to see things from a different perspective, as well as time to center himself and heal), but he wouldn’t think about getting the MF, for obvious reasons. Rey would sense/know it (I just love how much they understand each other without really saying everything) and when he is decided to leave she would convince him they should get the MF and without saying a “proper goodbye” they would go. I also think that Finn, Rose and Leia would understand an indirect “see you soon”, because they will see everyone again. In my canon I am not sure if Chewie would go with them or not, but I still think he would be with them again. So that Reylo can be associated with Persephone and Hades and MF 3 brains with Cerberus is just really crazy! Especially when we consider the fact that MF is the home he makes amends to (it was Han, Chewie, Luke and Leia’s home, and to go back to it means comeback to his family like you said, being accepted and loved). MF has also been compared to the Chariots of Gods that protected the Skywalker siblings from the Emperor and Vader. The fact that Rey goes to Luke in the MF, later to Kylo and later to save the Resistance, all seems to hint this is where Ben/Kylo should be. The anger he has for the “piece of junk” equals the anger and longing for his family, and it’s always with him. Ok, this got long again o.o’’’. See you soon!                                                                      

So, dear Anon who is no longer anon but now @lightaroundthecorner, sorry I took so long to answer. As I was telling other fellow bloggers, real life caught up a bit with me lately. Nothing but good things, but I haven’t been able to properly monitor my account for a while, besides the reblogs and short comments. Sorry, because I am late in my meta projects (sigh), and also I am late in my asks (I have not forgotten you, nice people who send me great questions, do not worry! I promise I will answer shortly!).  (Gif found on @reylo-hill)

I am just adding on and expanding from your previous comments. Yep, the MF is probably the core of the ST. Everything revolves around it, and they have distilled so many clues about it, its role, and what it represents for every character, and how they come to interact with it. It is not just the nostalgia and the old jokes about Han’s piece of garbage. The MF, for some reason, though it comes from Han’s side, has come to stand for something important in the Skywalker’s family: their future, something that is, if you think about it, rather paradoxical. This piece is an antique, a thing of the past. But no, in the ST, the MF is really the future. Because something about the MF points to Ben Solo all the time, and Ben is, after all, the only future left for the Skywalker family. Of course the Skywalkers would look to the MF as a place of nostalgia: this is where Luke’s big adventure began, what saved him in ANH and ESB, where Leia and Han fell in love and first kissed. Han and his ship seem as inseparable as Han and Chewie. Funny thing, though, is that at the end of ROTJ, Han had -very reluctantly- moved on from the MF, lending it back to Lando (even if just temporarily), as if he was symbolically ready to grow up and start a new life with Leia. And it would have made sense to see him start something like that.

But in TFA they decided to bring back the MF, and despite the usual critiques on TFA about the fact that the movie was just a rehash for the nostalgic of the OT, I think the choice to pull out the MF out of retirement meant something important. It was there, as a matter of fact, on the Vanity Fair cover that was bringing us the new characters and the old, the common thread between them all, what creates the connection.

They did not JUST use the MF to make us feel fuzzy inside. Nope, the MF has a story to tell. The first obvious thing is the path to HOME.

And who needs to go back home? Not Han... Han does not really pine for home... He is a roamer, always been. But Ben... The MF is and will be the HEART of the ST, because the ST is about the fight for Ben’s HEART. if the MF has always been Han’s pride and joy, what about little Ben? Of course he was his father’s pride and joy. Check out that cutesy promotion for Empire’s End:

And just read the few lines at the end of Aftermath’s Empire’s End when Han talks to his baby boy... Heart wrenching....

Hey. It’s you and me, kid. Whole damn galaxy against us but we’ll make it through okay. I’m not always gonna be the best dad- c’mon, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I can barely take care of myself. But I’ll always keep us pointed in the right direction...even if we zig and zag a little to get there. There’s your first lesson. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t mean following a straight line.

This zig and zag is a bit like the MF itself... And when Han promises his newborn son to point him in the right direction, the MF also plays that part, pointing him to Rey.

Just the way they bring back the MF says something... The MF, just like Ben, has been lost to Han for a while. It has suffered years of neglect and tampering with. It has been abandoned and considered lost for good. Ben chose to assume a distinctive archaic look (medieval by our own standards), with the cowl, crossguard, robe. And what about his saber, which, just like the MF is archaic, poorly constructed, rugged. And the MF, surrounded with the relics and the wreckage of the Empire, is also pretty much like Ben, surrounded with other relics of the Empire (the Vader mask, the First Order as the copy of the Empire, the decrepit Snoke).

Also consider the information given by The Visual Dictionary: Unkar Plutt has refused to let the scavengers plunder it because it “can still fly and he has big plans for her”. Just like Snoke has big plans for Ben.. And look at the Breakdown part and the words used:

An energy flux in the motivator bleeds back (...) causing a surge (...). Liquid metal fuel overflows (...) overheating components and rupturing a jucture. The liquid fuel sublimates into a poisonous gas that fills the freighter.

“Bleeding” is the word used by the Sith to turn the kyber crystal of their saber into a fiery red, knowing that, in Ben’s case, he probably bled his own Jedi saber, and not another Jedi’s, as is the Sith custom. “Surge”, “overheating”, “overflow” are all words that evoke, unequivocally, Kylo’s fiery bouts of rage in TFA.

And the term “poisonous” can equally apply to the way Kylo has been, for years, filled with Snoke/snake ‘s poisons, and his own dangerosity. Note that Rey is fully able to circumvent the potential danger posed by the MF.... But all this time, think about it, it was SO close to Rey. It was with her all the time, owned by Unkar Plutt, the very bane of Rey’s existence, which creates yet another invisible thread between them. What about Rey’s epidermic reaction to it: “This is garbage”. That goes, when faced with no other choice to “The garbage will do”. And then, the magic: she can handle it. She knows how to handle it. She understands it instinctively and knows how it clicks. She can figure it out, find what is wrong with it and repair it. She can fix it.

And she also admires it when she realizes what it is: 

Remember Han? He never really could figure it out or repair it for good. She can. Obviously, major outcry about Rey being a Mary Sue! How could she? How dare she? Pilot and fix the MF? But people failed to understand (because it took the ST as a whole, as a perspective) that the MF was a metaphor all along. What Rey’s SPECIAL relationship to the MF was supposed to do is FORETELL us all along what her special relationship to Kylo/Ben Solo would be.

Just like the MF, she first reacts strongly against it. But then she gathers that she will have to deal with it anyways (that is what the Force bonds mean). And eventually, she realizes that she is, indeed,the only one who understands him. Who knows how he functions. Who can handle him. She also comes to respect him. Possibly help fixing him?

What about all these details about the MF that they brought us in the novelization. The hilarious idea that there are three brains in the MF constantly bickering... Just like in Ben Solo’s little head there were probably all these voices bickering and fighting all the time. I will exclude Snoke because he is an alien voice, coming from outside as a parasite to bug and hijack Ben Solo. But the three brains that have been fighting in Ben’s head, couldn’t they be Han, Leia, and Luke, who were respectively supposed to have one movie of the ST centered around them? As if, one by one, the fighting heads would get shut up, and forgiven, to finally find peace.... So yea, the anger he is directing towards the MF can be explained by the anger he is still directing towards his family...

Which is why Kylo has still to remain banned from the MF. In order to get back in, he needs to accept being Ben again. He needs to make peace with Ben Solo, with this part of himself. When I first heard of the deleted scene on TFA where Kylo gets to step inside the MF on Starkiller, I initially thought “Oh, what a shame!”.

  How stupid of me! I know truly believe cutting it was a brilliant move, very coherent on a symbolic and narrative level. Of course, they would and should NOT let Kylo back aboard the MF at this point of the ST... His whole journey is about going back home. And obviously a “home” he can share with Rey (nesting porgs, I already made that point here). We are supposed to see them together aboard the MF on IX. That’s all. Twice, at the end, Rey goes alone aboard the MF and turns back to look behind, turning to look back at HIM, who never makes it to the MF. Rule of 3 applying, he has to make it to the MF eventually. She has to usher him there.

And from Ben, the MF has even come to stand for the relationship between him and Rey. It’s a nest, it’s a home, it’s a future together. I am pretty sure that RJ had his own little wink wink moment at the anti Reylo with the “Blow that piece of junk out of the sky” and “They really hate that ship” on the battle of Crait. If you hate Reylo, pretty much, you should hate the MF and all it stands for at this point.

And what about the new Han Solo movie? Of course they would do a Solo movie. I think they are trying to tie up all the loose strings here and there into a tight story. The MF is the core of the ST. So, in the Solo movie, we will get something about the MF. Remember the emphasis on the dice (and their part in TLJ) in the trailer, this eerily familiar new villain that is reminiscent of Kylo’s mask, and the mad theory I have been cooking with fellow blogger  @antbee17 about the possibility of ...maybe... possibly... pretty please... finger crossing... getting a Harrison Ford voice over at the end narrating the story to an entranced little Ben...

Maybe I am projecting a lot into this (for sure into the Solo movie), but, about the MF and its connection to Ben and Rey, nah, I am pretty sure!

[bourbonboredom]

Silver Lining Chapter 3

If you’re ever gonna find a silver lining, it’s gotta be a cloudy day

A ClydexReader fanfic

Word Count: 2,243

Warnings: mention of drug use, a lil angst

Silver Lining Masterlist

Tag List: @oh-adam  @kyloren-supreme-ben   @xis23  @elsablackswift   @ladygrey03   @grey-reylo-solo  @givemelifeorgiveme

She showed up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Her promise to be out of his hair in a couple weeks had long passed by the time spring came to Boone county, but Clyde didn’t mind one bit.

April marked six weeks of her working at the bar. Six weeks of setting-up and closing-down times being cut in half. Six weeks of that downtime being used to shoot the breeze and learning more about one another. He liked to drink beer when he wasn't at work, she liked her Jack and Cokes. He had smoked in high school but quit after joining the military, she couldn't stand the smell of cigarettes. His brother had made him try out for football with him and he got tackled to the ground in the first ten minutes of practice and he swore off sports forever, and she had a different sport for every season in high school. They both liked to read.

It was after the first week that she started to come in to her shifts with different clothes. The zipped-up hoodie was exchanged for flannels with the buttons done all the way up. Clyde thought maybe it was for a religious reason but as the weeks progressed, her sleeves were rolled up and she’d unbutton to a more casual level. She would comment that the weather was warmer here than it was back home.

In the middle of the second week she came to work with a cellphone in hand. It was a simple pre-paid model, but she asked him for his phone number in case she needed to reach him outside work. In the later weeks, they’d taken to texting one another cocktail recipes to try out. The Logan siblings had noticed their brother using his phone more often, and took to teasing him whenever his phone would chime.

His siblings also took to coming ‘round the bar more often. At first to check up on their brother, who had basically hired a girl off the street. They were just making sure she didn't rob him blind. But as the weeks past they’d warmed up to her. It was around week four when she was joining the Logan circle during her down-time on shifts.

“Don’t spend all that time around them darlin’, their luck’ll rub off an you,” one of the barflies yelled to her one day.

“Everyone’s got their misfortunes, I’ll handle what comes my way like anyone else would,” she said back simply. Jimmy and Mellie gave their brother an approving look after that.

Despite seeing her almost everyday at the bar, Clyde never saw her around town off work. Not that he was looking, of course, but the thought was there in his head. It would seem she worked and didn't do much else. She never missed a shift, never asked for time off, and was always aiming to please. She’d make the customers smile, and even found ways to make her rather-stoic boss crack a grin.

He wasn’t much for smiling but she found ways. It usually involved mimicking his accent, which was followed by him mimicking hers, which she loved. She’d make a point to remember his favorite songs and put them on the jukebox first thing when she turned it on. She even helped string up some lights to the porch one day before Clyde came in to work, after she heard him say he wanted to do it in passing the week prior.

He was snapped out if his thoughts of her by her voice calling across the bar to a customer.

“Here on a Thursday Lorie? Must have been some kinda week,”

“You know it was,” Lorie Ann, a local in her late-twenties said as she cozied up to the bar. “The ER at Charleston was no joke this week,”

“You want the usual then?”

“Nah, get me one a those Blood Moon things you make for Ashlynn. I need somethin’ strong tonight,”

She made the drink without missing a beat as she carried on conversation with the nurse who was regaling her with the amount of overdoses she’d had to treat that week. Come to think of it, she hadn’t made a mistake at the bar yet. Drink orders were always right, no names were forgotten or glasses broken, Clyde was starting to think she was made for this job.

“We had one from Boone County, he had been holed up in the Super 8 down the road on some kinda binge. His face was all swollen up and the EMTs told us the needle was still hangin’ outta his arm when they got him,” They both grimaced at that.

“Well, you’re off shift now, do yourself a favor and take a good break, that’s hard work you do everyday.” she said, sliding over Lorie Ann’s drink.

“Thanks darlin’. Hey, are you still staying at that Super 8? I don’t know if you should be hangin’ out around there with that kinda activity goin’ on,”

She gave a tight smile, “I haven’t found anywhere besides there yet, but thanks for your concern,”

That weighed heavily on Clyde’s mind for the rest of the evening. He’d never thought to ask if she was still staying in that motel. It would make sense though for that few weeks she thought she’d be there for, but it was well over a month now. Was she planning on moving soon? Moving away?

That thought made his heart sink a bit. It was closing time when he decided to ask what her intentions were.

“You’d said to Lorie Ann that you were lookin’ to move?” he started as he stacked up the chairs. “Are you leavin’ town?”

She didn't respond for a moment.

“I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome anymore than I already have. I’d told you a couple of weeks but it’s been well past that. I dont want to take advantage—“

“You’re not,” he said, maybe a little two quickly. His eyes locked with hers and he lost is breath for a moment.

“You’re not. You- you’ve been nothin’ but helpful since y’started. Doin’ everythin’ I ask, and even things I don’t ask for. You did tell me you’d be here for just a couple a weeks but— if you wanted to stay, I’ll keep you on here,”

She kept staring at him, working her bottom lip against her teeth, as if to stop words from tumbling out. His ears felt like they were on fire and he was grateful his hair was covering them.

“I can’t keep stayin’ at the Super 8, it takes up a whole days pay sometimes—“

“I can pay you more. A real salary. And one’a the houses by me and Jimmy just went up for rent. The landlord is a friend, I could probably work down the price a bit,” he hoped he didn't sound desperate, “If you’d want that,”

She moved towards him so quickly, he didn't have time to react as she pulled him into a hug.

“You’re too kind to me,”

“It’s nothin’,” he hugged her back awkwardly, hoping she didn't feel his heart thundering in his chest where her head rested. “Does that mean you’ll stay?” he asked a little quieter.

She let go and looked up at him, smiling so wide that the spot where her tooth was missing could be seen.

“I reckon I could,”

She was getting better at the accent every day, he thought to himself as he gave a small smile.

“We can see it as soon as tomorrow,” he told her.

———————————

Clyde had texted her the directions as soon as he’d gotten home that night. He was in the kitchen with Jimmy when his phone chimed with her response. Clyde reached for his phone, but his brother was faster.

“She’s thankin’ you, with a smiley face?” his voice was full of mischief “Now what’d you do to deserve that?”

“Nothin’ don’t worry about—“ the phone chimed again, still in Jimmy’s hand.

“She wants to know if she needs to bring anything tomorrow?” A grin grew across his face. “You gone an asked her out didn’t ya?”

Clyde wanted to sink into the floor. Jimmy always knew how to push his buttons when it came to women. He knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but being the younger, less-popular, less-attractive, less-charismatic, less-everything Logan brother— he was a little sensitive when Jimmy talked to him about the opposite sex.

“If you must know, It’s not a date. I’m helping her find a place to live. She's been living in the motel off 17 and she wants somewhere a little more permanent,”

“Does she now? Would this have anything to do with the neighbors movin’ out and the place next door freein’ up?”

If Clyde could roll his eyes back into his head any further, they’d get stuck there. Jimmy saw this, and still continued on talking.

“Havin’ her next door could be nice, but remember how easy it was for us to hear the last couple who lived there? Especially during the night? Remember that if you an her decide t—”

“I’d appreciate you not finishin’ that sentence,” Clyde said in the frighteningly even tone he used when his brother would go to far. “An I’d appreciate you givin’ me my phone back,”

Jimmy handed his brother back the phone.

“All I’m sayin’ is its been a while since you had someone in your life, an she's really somethin’ Clyde. Mellie and I like her. She’s helpin’ you,”

“It’s not gonna be like that an thats the end of it,” he went back to his room, shutting the door behind him.

He sunk onto his bed, feeling disheartened. He had girlfriends in the past. A couple in high school, and one that was with him through basic and his first tour but broke up with him soon after. After the accident, Mellie set him up with one of the girls from the salon but that didn't last beyond a few dates on account of her treating him like he was fragile. She’d look at his arm too often. He hadn’t been fitted for the prosthetic yet, he had to wait months for his limb to heal before that. Pity oozed out of her mouth no matter what she said.

Since then, he was making his peace with being alone. He sat up on the edge of his bed and unbuckled his prosthetic. He placed it on his dresser and removed the sock from his limb that protected from chafing. He ran his fingers over the scarred flesh, he didn't care to acknowledge the area too often. He’d try telling himself that he was lucky that more of him wasn’t lost, that he could have died instead. But that was hard to remember when he’d see the look of pity on peoples faces when they saw the plastic in place of his left hand.

It would still feel unreal at times. He had gone though almost 23 years of his life when it happened. He didn't realize he could take a body part for granted until it was too late. It was four years later and he was still processing it. Talking about it with the Veteran Affairs therapist up in Charleston had been too hard at the time. Most days he could barely get out of bed, much less travel the half hour to the city. And now he was too busy to get up there.

Learning how to do things one-handed was incredibly frustrating, leading to him lash out a lot. He was angrier back then, said hurtful things that he didn't mean to his siblings who he knew were only trying to help. He made an effort to never yell at them again after he calmed down. It was Jimmy who helped him get a job at Duck Tape. The old owner was a Vet himself, and never treated Clyde like he was any less. He taught him tips and tricks and having someone with shared life experience helped him mellow out and realize things were going to be okay.

The owner retired and moved to Arkansas to be closer to his grandkids about 2 years ago, leaving the bar to Clyde. He didn't know if he could do it at first, run a bar by himself, but he’d hire people on to help him out. Most didn't stay long for one reason for another, but Duck Tape still stood and he was proud to be the owner. Mel had once told him that he could do more with one hand than most could do with two, which made him smile when he was doubting himself.

He picked up his phone to see her name still on the screen. He texted her back saying that she didn't need to bring anything special and put his phone down on the nightstand next to his prosthetic.

He thought about his brothers words as he lay in bed. ‘She’s somethin’’, he couldn't deny that. ‘She’s helping’, she was doing that too, though he suspected Jimmy meant something else by that.

She never treated him different, which he appreciated. Some of the other employees he had hired would ask intrusive questions, or would act like he couldn't do anything helpful. They never lasted long at the bar. But she’d done well so far. Made his life a little easier, a little happier. He felt his eyes grow heavy with sleep, and soon fell asleep with her on his mind.