#Reworked some points
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Let me be clear: I love Emma Hazer with a tender love, but not exactly for who she is, but for who she could be.
I kind of wish to rewrite her and my solution is surprisingly simple: remove her “easy accessibility” as a woman and focus on something else. Hazer is a single mother, taking care of two boys, whose existence is hidden due to a directive prohibiting mothers of many children from working, after losing her husband at the front. The only other relative she has is her mother, who isn’t really emotionally supportive (this is information from the game, I’ll dance from it from now on). She loves her children with all her heart and wants to provide them with a good life and therefore makes workaholism a priority in her life - after all, more work, more money and authority, right? For the same reason, she is applying for a promotion and is one of the three competitors for the protagonist on the first floor. However, even so, she understands that it is hard for her and she is suffering from the stress. This leads the woman to find another goal for herself - to find a spouse who could help her and her family survive in their debt-ridden society. Fortunately, she is pretty, but right there also lies the problem - in her beauty and desperate desire to find a young man, people see a lady of the evening so to speak. Hazer is disgusted by this and most likely the topic of sexual relations kind of repulses her now, because it reminds her that she is perceived as an object. She can be a living demonstration of the destructive influence of the State’s sexism and stereotypes on a person, while still being the chatty lady, who loves to discuss TV series and claims to have a good intuition.
The scene where she and Evan are having fun in the back room can happen provided that the recently met Redgrave pulls her leg for some time, talking about love, deep feelings and lies to her about being single, so that the truth for Emma is revealed later. Most likely, after this story, you won’t be able to build a normal friendship with the character, because choices should have consequences.
There is no quest where she hands over her children to an orphanage, because that would completely go against her character.
She does not call Ferguson the ideal man in the dialogue. Just shows her respect for him and that she thinks good of him.
The "big joke" could still happen, but it has an even darker context, as Evan's only methods of persuading Emma to help them would be to commit blackmail, in that way or the other. After what happened, she deeply regrets what she did, and when the next day Peter does the unspeakable she probably blames herself.
As for her story with Peter Dong.. mm, I suppoooose we as players should consider their relationship as a kind of “endgame”, and Dong as a man actually suitable for her, whom she simply has not yet seen, so I guess I would probably try to make their connection more genuine, if that’s the case. Peter’s love is built not only on his colleague’s appearance, but also on some of her qualities. Let’s say he saw and appreciated how hard she worked, or one of the few noticed how sad she’s been looked recently. Let’s say that when they start dating, Emma doesn’t limit herself to “I hope everything works out for us” in the dialogue, she probably also says something about how she didn’t think that Peter would be such a sweetheart, she is surprised how she wasn’t noticing him before. This, as a bare minimum.
It seems that these are all the changes that I would like to see, maybe if I remember something else I’ll add.
Bonus headcanon for those who read to the end: Emma was the best informant on the floor before Evan came into the game, it’s not for nothing that she hangs around that office phone so often.
#beholder game#beholder#beholder 2#emma hazer#evan redgrave#peter dong#I wrote this back in November last year#I don’t know why I didn’t post this here back then but well it’s good#Reworked some points
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.
She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.
One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?
And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.
So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.
She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.
She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"
So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.
Notes & nuance
I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…
Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you can’t be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter. Man also… Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldn’t get with Shuro, but imagine how Falin’s whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.
It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts. And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t#get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#he’s here too bc they are an unit#If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if you’d prefer. It doesn’t have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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SIMBLRWEEN WEEK 2: HORRORSCOPES!
HAPPY HALLOWEiNER EVERYONE! Hope you've all had the ookiest, kookiest, megalamookiest, ding-dang dookiest, spooky season this year! So to wrap simblrween 2024 up I'll be posting a treat themed after the scariest creature known to man: astrology bitches.
INFORMATION:
None of this is my original work! All mesh credit goes to the items' original creators: @simpliciaty-cc, @serenity-cc, @christopher067, and @arthabee!
Set contains accessories for Teen ➤ Elder Females
Polycount is 6.5-7.5k for each the Zodiac 1 and 2 Necklaces and 1.5-1.6k for the Starsign Necklaces.
anything that looks weird in CAS looks fine in game.
Everything has all morphs, LODS and custom thumbnails
Static preview pictures, and download links for everything is under the cut.
Still Hate Astrology?
Fine, Coward 😒. There are 6 technically 7 other Accessories for you too, but they're hidden under the cut as punishment for you being boring.
tagging: @xto3conversionsfinds \\ @kpccfinds\\ @sssvitlanz\\ @pis3update
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
[FULL SET, MERGED]
[FULL SET, SEPARATED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
[FULL SET, MERGED]
[FULL SET, SEPARATED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
[FULL SET, SEPARATED]
[FULL SET, MERGED]
@christopher067: Bushel Necklace // 5k Poly // [Download Here] @christopher067: Divine Necklace // 1.9k Poly // [Download Here] @christopher067:Luxury Earrings V1 // 3.8k Poly // [Download Here]
@christopher067: Easy Necklace // 1.5k Poly // [Download Here] @simpliciaty-cc: Elise Rings //6.5k Poly// [Download Right] [Download Left] @arethabee: Quinn Earrings // 2.3k Poly // [Download Here]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
[ALL ZODIAC NECKLACES MERGED]
[ALL ZODIAC NECKLACES UNMERGED]
[ALL EXTRAS MERGED] [ALL EXTRAS UNMERGED]
[ALL ZODIACS + EXTRAS MERGED]
[ALL ZODIACS + EXTRAS UNMERGED]
#ts3cc#s3cc#ts3 cc#sims 3 cc#ts3 download#ts3#s3 cc#ts3 dl#s3 dl#sims 3#ts3 accessories#4t3#[MINE]#I am a proud astrology bitch btw#Gemini☀️ Aries 🌙 Cancer ⬆️ baby#Crazy thing is this isn't the huge accessories pack I've been hyping up for months at this point#That was supposed to be my 1.5k followers gift. But I'm about to hit 1.5k way earlier than expected.#So now some of that set will probably be split into Christmas advent gifts and I'll rework it sometime in January to have it ready for 1.75
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Georg Janny - Summer Night, 1926 After a certain point I had quite the fun with this, but rip to all the details you can't see because they don't show up on my shitty phone camera- maybe I can get my hands on a scanner soon. I'm still open for prompts for this series :)
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#illustration#traditional art#most of this was done with pencils#the base was gouache!#classical rework#you can kind of still see where I fucked up the perspective royally but pssssssst#this is one where I could have continiued to work on forever but had to say 'good enough' at some point
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i find something very interesting in what the show has done with claudia's ambivalent relationship with truthfulness, honesty, narrativisation, and storytelling.
claudia is, by and large, depicted as someone that feels some distaste at the idea of embellishing emotional truths by providing too much context, reasoning, or justifications for them. she is not blind to the existence of these things and in fact she is quite a good judge of character. but i believe she perceives it as a weakness to feel the need to organize them in a self-created narrative in order to give some meaning to life events. it feels deliberate that she enjoyed storytelling when she was younger (see, her semi-mythology about angels and devils) and then stopped after her father made her stare at the boy (who called her an angel!) she loved and killed while he was burning. i think she knows, from then on, that a story has no power and it changes nothing. to keep telling it would feel like intolerable self-deception. she would not disrespect what happened by painting a pretty picture about it and, from that point, she never does again.
this mindset, i believe, is also compounded by growing up around two parents extremely inclined to narrativisation as a method of obfuscation. she is perceptive enough to correctly guess this tendency stems from a fundamental inability to face their respective realities, although in almost opposite ways. lestat seeks to control his internal reality by attempting to warp his external one. which is to say, he lies to others to manage their perception of him because he is unable to deal with feelings of insecurity and rejection. louis seeks to control his external reality by attempting to warp his internal one. which is to say, he lies to himself to manage his own self-perception because it's the only way to survive the awareness of the coercions that society (and his various families) put on him. regardless, i think claudia sees how vacuous their attempts are in avoiding pain to themselves and others and she despises them for it. both for lacking the courage to do away with the attempts and for not being able to make them work (secretly, maybe unconsciously, it would be good to have some faith back).
at the same time, claudia keeps writing multiple diaries, loves theatre and loves acting. the diaries seem to become less cinematic over time and she is aware that when she watches a play or she is on stage there is no truth being tarnished, the story is all that exists. still, her intense search for these alternative forms of narration reads to me as a residual longing for the power of storytelling. it's no coincidence, i think, that in order to kill lestat, who had been initially responsible for destroying that belief and who she feels all-powerful, she needs and dares to tell herself one more story: the one about the vampires in europe that will love her, if she can just get through this. apart from that, i think theatre and her diaries represent the last refuge where she can relive the illusion that telling stories has some meaning and some impact. which makes it particularly cruel that the stage is then used as a place where stories become powerful again and they are deployed to first trap her and then kill her.
given all this. i think it's fair to say that claudia usually strives to be both truthful and honest: even the lies she concedes to telling are usually not flights of fancy but stick close to the truth. and they are borne out of a pragmatic need for self-preservation, not a desire to avoid uncomfortable realisations. she makes, overall, an heroic attempt to bear both her internal and her external reality, without trying (unless it's a matter of survival) to forcibly control them, but just accepting them and doing her best with them. the issue with her reasoning i feel, is that, while narrativisation can be a form of deception, it is also in many ways the only mean of creation of a sense of identity. i guess this point is debatable according to the philosophical tradition one draws from, but i would personally argue there is no ontological stable self that exists outside of our own perception. what exists are our thoughts and actions. and "identity" is the net that ties them together, created by the dialogue between the narrative we weave over them and our own reactions to that narrative. the moment the self begins a self-referential recounting, it is already in the realm of intrepretation. which does not mean truth and honesty don't have a role in this: there is, i believe, honesty in recognizing and accepting our actual thoughts and feelings and actions. but after that, their interpretation is always a truth created.
there are two consequence to this for me. the first, is that it becomes evident at some point that an abandonment of any recounting leaves you bereft of lies but also berefts of truths. claudia has no real tools to make sense of her interiority. in the few brief scenes where she explictly talks about her feelings regarding her traumatic experiences, she is merely able to make a list of facts and stark sensations. her conclusion about the "collision" in her, her sense of brokeness, being "i don't know". her conclusion over the retelling of her assault being simply "it fucked me up". i see in her a deep difficulty in re-elaborating her feelings and connecting them in a unitary vision, which deprives her of the possibility to consolidate an assessment over the impact of events on her identity and build something new on it. the second, is that her diaries by nature cannot escape being a form of narrativision. at least to some extent. even if she tries to describe "reality" as close as possible, the moment she puts pen on paper and decides which stories to tell and how, she is creating her own intrepretation. so yes the diaries are technically a truthful source, but the concept of truthfulness is not so uncomplicated that we can equate it to mean "objectively reliable".
as a final consideration i will say that i find claudia profoundly moving and brave in her decision to never close her eyes before life, and in the end, even before death. and even more so because hers is not a meek, passive stance. surrounded by liars and cowards, she is smart enough to see that truth is a very powerful weapon against people that can't bear it. when these people hurt her, she has no need to warp reality to hurt them back: she just puts them before themselves and lets them macerate in their own reflection. and this commitment to the truth stays with her until her final act and then transcends her in some way: as she fades, for once, it's lestat that cannot close his eyes.
#interview with the vampire#claudia#lestat#louis#hmmm interesting what i decided is a proper length at 4 am#might rework this into something more digestible at some point#reference for me#long post#iwtv.txt
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Your art style is so familiar to someone I once knew in a horror themed fandom from a very long time ago. Something to do with Stitches and Fire was a ship theme if I remember correctly...?
No way you know me from back then ! Yes ! That was 12 year old me ! I loved creepypasta ahah.
#kittchats#Crazy! Idk how you recognized my style and managed to link things but yes! Hello!#I was peak 2010's cringe but I also admire baby me because I was having the time of my life.#I would like to rework some of my pastas at some point - I still love them haha.
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Redraw of these two because Jackienat needs more art and I def didn’t make this to procrastinate the fic I should be writing about them
#SUPER proud of how Nat turned out#I feel like I could work on Jackie’s skin/hair tones for FOREVER#like she has these tan tones but also seems super pale in some shots and#it’s got me fucked up#also her hair style is not something I’ve tried to draw before but#I learned a lot from this drawing! so that’s good#I might rework her hair entirely at some point#we’ll see#jackienat#Yellowjackets#Jackie Taylor#Natalie Scatorccio#I just think they’re neat#one day this slow burn teammates to friends to lovers fic will be written#Nat Scatorccio#ella purnell#sophie thatcher#sophie bathsheba thatcher
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animation practice with my beautiful daughter :3 + some old outfit doodles vvv
thas not the keyframes symbol for spring but oh well
#chi aubade#keyframes mc#skips art :3#the outfits are a littleee awkward because i just gave her whatever was in my closet#ill probably rework em at some point
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gayboys in the apocalypse whatever will they do!! rudy (top) belongs to me and luca (bottom) belongs to @mojaves :]
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@jacobseed, @swordcoasts
#7 days to die#art#art:rudy#art for others#nuclearocs#nuclearart#background painted from photo reference by yours truly as well ^_^#ok so listen. 7 days to die is one hell of a choice to make ocs for but hear me out. i got 600+ hours in that game and dragged red with me#it's finally releasing officially soon as well btw!! leaving alpha after a decade#red and i are busy building a big maze for zombies that keep spawning within the walls of our blood moon base#so naturally we decided to project that onto some guys from our brains. rudy has existed for longer already but i'm reworking him#anyway hi :] i'm gonna try and draw more ocs from my roster rather than just the same 4 guys over and over again#so if that's not what you're here for feel free to opt out of the taglist that's totally fine!!#and on the other side of things if there's a specific oc of mine you'd like to see drawn at some point do let me know ^_^
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ain't nothing come easy, no nothing comes quick it's gonna hurt like hell to become well
huevember day 4: screestar! or, in this case, kitepaw! he's going through physical therapy for his injuries after falling in a rockslide, with healer shiverpelt at his side every step of the way. song for today is theseus by the oh hellos!
#it's hard to tell in the pic but the scrunchies on shiverpelt's cheek fur is tansy flowers!#this was my first time drawing her so the design is rough but i'll rework it at some point#huevember#huevember 2024#warriors#warrior cats#warrior cats ocs#screestar#leader#shiverpelt#healer#riftclan
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Do you know why she is honored as goddess? Bedridden for a long time due to her incomplete celestial roots... a deity everyone thought could not be saved... Lord Xingzhi came to take to the Extranatural Heaven. And cured her. Therefore, the Divine Realm's Heavenly Lord gave her a title: Luotian Goddess – blessings from the sky. The girl blessed by the [ancient] gods.
Li Jia Qi as YOULAN
THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI (2024) 1.17-1.19
#cdramaedit#cdrama#the legend of shen li#li jia qi#jackie li#与凤行#theverylasttofu#took until week two but our girlie lamu came to spice the party ahhhhhhh welcome home baby#that cfensi round-up that one year kinda pointed out a unique talent out of her infinite charms:#can convincingly imitate a medieval painting#idk the specifics but whatever was reworked with her soul made her keen to the three realms' worth of situationship#or truth intuition is her goddess power to begin with *shrugs*#had a preface... excited even about comedy showcase aka her one-sided love rivalry negl i believe in you girls!#youlan's ~attitude~ + quick temper? give the sweetie actual similar friends and not some simps that only revere her being healed#i do believe she'll come around re: misplaced attachments. a bit frightful by way of millenia coma but y'know#let peachkins live and do the cultivation thingy#(did i mishear furongjun - brother appeases sister with 'huang jie'? that's their most normal display rofl)#that said i thought the immortal troops were big gossips but the divine denizens are slowpoke sanctimonious giant snails#and if this was all heaven edition of pass-the-message#they're definitely losing#but it's ok youlan you still and will always be my bébé
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also i gave a name to maggie’s shit boyfriend who handed her over to the vampires. everyone say “we hate Spencer Nevins”
#i also reworked it a little#to where he’s not the vampire#he was just human#but he wanted to be a vampire#and he was told by some others that they’d change him jf he handed over maggie#bc they still wanted someone to get in and kill Velur#but also they never actually meant to change Spencer they were just manipulating him#wait no actually i’m rethinking and he is a vampire at some point#maybe while she was still being tortured#maybe after she was released#and she’ll meet him again later as a vampire#idk for sure#but he’s gonna be
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feel free to ignore if this question is too dark, cw themes of war and genocide (i know i’m so sorry)
how deep does thistle law go? what is the end goal of someone with that ideology? is it a permanent state of the four clans fighting forever, or is the end goal of someone who believes in thistle law to absorb all four clans into whichever clan they hail from? is there any split between thistle law thinkers on this, kind of like the splits between traditionalism and hard traditionalism? i’m curious on just a general worldbuilding level, but like i said, i know this is a super dark and heavy question, so do feel free to ignore it, i don’t want you to have a bad time. ik better bones gets pretty deep but if you’d rather steer clear of this one entirely i understand.
The stated end goal is different between every incarnation of Thistle Law. Brokenstar was explicit in that he planned for the destruction of the other three Clans, where Tigerstar called for assimilation, and Mudclaw just desired WindClan to be operated for the benefit of WindClan cats.
But it doesn't matter what they think they believe. The built-in conclusion of Thistle Law, and of ALL Fascism, is genocide. That link is to a post where I talked a bit about what would have eventually happened to RiverClan under TigerClan.
If blood can be impure, and the pure race is tainted by association with the dirty race, allowing groups to mix is an existential threat. Every birth for Them is a loss for Us. It will eventually come down to anti-miscegenation, then segregation, then mass murder.
The line between Hard Traditionalism and Thistle Law is usually some desire to begin enforcing a standard of purity, typically the elimination of the Queen's Rights. In the case of Brokenstar, this had less to do with blood and more to do with spilling it; his warriors would need to be loyal to destroy the other Clans.
Every warrior is an individual. There's some supporters of Thistle Law who have actual principles they want to stick to; but most will fall in line behind a strongman leader. The thing about authoritarians is that they HATE intellectuals and they LOVE submitting to hierarchy; so you will not find the same "width" of different beliefs within Thistle Law that you do within the Traditionalist or Fire Alone spectrums. No part of what they do is driven by rationality.
So to answer the question directly, how deep does Thistle Law go? Not very far. It's a shallow grave. Evil is deceptively simple.
#tw fascism#tw genocide#Thistle Law#tw segregation#tw bigotry#One of the limitations of BB as an adaptation of canon is that I can't really delve into HOW bad TigerClan should be...#I wish I had a ton more characters to work with to kill off en mass#But for the record I am planning to have a POV in TigerClan at some point#A rework of Sasha's stuff#better bones au
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HI MOD SWORD IF IT'S YOU [Also hi to the other mods you guys deserve love too <333] I hope this isn't just a ME thing. But I genuinely believe some maps in the game should be reworked.... Like ROBLOX HQ for example. That map is sooooooo fucking bad. Genuinely. It's too small, it's so easy to spawn camp the other team if you manage to get the upper hand, some chars' phinishes [like Rocket's for example] are soooooo fucking finicky to use Like I see the dev team reworking other maps but why not the HQ???? It's a map that REALLY needs to be reworked and touched up so that it'll ACTUALLY be an enjoyable map to play on. - 🎐 anon [I HAVE RETURNED!!!]
HIIII!!!!!! yes its me mod sword hello :3
i agree tbh theres a lot of maps i think need reworks.. underground war is one of them its a very neat concept but i think its not done that well... the secret side tunnels are cool but they literally serve zero purpose in conquer it feels like the map was built for stealth characters when we HAVE NONE... like the caves lead directly to backlines but theres actually no POINT IN THAT bc hypers will snipe from the top of the rocks in the middle and everyone crowds the centre AS THEY SHOULD BC ITS CONQUER. not to mention how massive the underground is for no reason it really strikes me as an annihilate map that was randomly decided to be a conquer map last minute.. they couldve done something much cooler with the holes up top akin to the two paths out of spawn in bowling alley (i.e. have the Large Hole that everyone goes down and then turn the side paths into paths dug INTO THE WALLS for supports or snipers so they can have a perch or safer less direct way to get down to the centre... and it should stay a conquer map but have annihilate as an option bc tbh a rework for it would go SO HARD as annihilate.. or if they ever add capture the flag as a gamemode i think underground war would be such a good ctf map not even joking..... SORRY WOW IK THE ASK WAS ABOUT HQ BUT I NEEDED TO TALK ABT UW
anyways i really love hq because i get to throw my sword into the hallway and kill people :)
#confession#mod sword#🎐 anon#jokes aside i agree hq needs a rework at least to make the hallway a bit larger and to make it harder to spawncamp if they dont wanna alter#the map TOO much... i think the upper floor is a cool idea but tbh using the top is kinda pointless i almost wish hq has a conquer variant#where the point is up there and then at some point the glass “shatters” and the point is moved to the larger hallway#using the top floor more would be so fun bc you could kick people off the side and into the void to fuck with them#and having the glass break could open up more areas for like a hyper to start sniping from instead of being In The Frontlines#with bowling alley they benefit from a larger map bc they can keep spawns walled off but with hq i imagine itd be hard to#properly prevent spawncamping unless they DID make a whole map redesign#which tbh as long as the hallway stays ill be happy ♥ i think the three floors design could potentially go hard but bc everyone defaults to#the middle or the bottom if youre trying to sneak behind everyone the top is kinda useless.. would go hard if they gave all sections of the#map a potential use#SORRY FOR YAPPING THIS SKIPS QUEUE BC I LOOOOOVE MAPS
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#Am i evil for wanting to sacrifice pa kent sometimes#love him hes great hes done his job with clark#but i always toyed with the idea of clark getting grief for development later in life#i dont think any of his adoptive parents should die well into him being an established superman#but what i do think is one of his parents dying would do him a service in his later years character wise#pa kent is generally agreed upon to be the most sacrificial ( sorry pa kent.. )#a time in clarks life where his father is gone and he just has his mother to look after seems like it would be#a refreshing pov for him to remember what he has left in this world...#there are all sorts of iterations btw. some where both parents die at the same time from tragedy (car crash)#or where one dies#i personally love superman: braniac where clark fails to save his father as a young superman#which shows him..not even a superman can save everyone - a rude awakening. so its just him and his mother.#while i do think of making the braniac origin my canon definitively i also love the pa kent interactions w clarks league friends#like that one time batman visited and they chatted was nice ( standing )#we will see! will probably sacrifice pa kent i mean if a comic origin story did it + a movie i meannnn.#but that means i would have to rework how clark comes back 2 life in death of su.perman#also last point here: clarks a mamas boy i love him being the young son taking care of his ma ( sighs wistfully at MOS scenes when he visit
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Are you still interested in Welcome Home or nah? Sorry for asking I cant remember
Haha kind of, not full blown into it but enough here and there :)
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