#Reset Network Settings
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im so close to throwing my ipad out the windowwwww oh my god why is it not connecting to ANY wifi EXCEEEEEEEPPTTTTT my phone hotspot. not even my computer hotspot.
#like helloooooo???? i think it also did connect to the uni wifi but its literally not connecting to either of my home wifis#(idk why our router has 2 wifis but it does). and yeah i did change the password some time ago and honestly#when you put the 'new' password it straight up doesnt work anywhere. so im trying out other possible passwords it could be#(like the og password thats on the router) but nothinnnnggggg works. also sometimes it says 'cannot connect to wifi'#and other times it says 'wifi password is incorrect' (like for example it says that when i put the 'current' wifi password)#im literally about to have a stroke idk what the fuck is wrong. im pretty sure its bc i changed something in wifi settings but idk#i reset the network settings and EVEN NOW its not working#z xarre
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Can iPhones die
#I swear to god. my last (which I believe was my first) iPhone had to be replaced cause it just wouldn’t receive text messages from gcs#now my iPhone won’t connect to any wifi network?#like in settings it says it is but my phone is Not#I might have to factory reset it. so. fuck me ig.#vt.talk#I have tried three wifi networks and it doesn’t work on any of them so it’s a phone problem
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i havent been able to get any service with my old number im trying to transfer or my temporary number since yesterday morning and idkwhy i fuckin love phones!!!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
#*deep space noises*#i am going to bite something#gauruhargharghhghagh#ive turned my phone on and off i turned messages and facetime on and off i took my sim out earlier and put it back in#ive reset network settings which HAS finally changed the number on my new phone to my old one#but i still have zero service and i cant make or receive texts n calls#ive been so fuckin stressed out that i think i undid all my physio’s work from yesterday
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Oh yeah! Reblogging to add my friend's tags:
#if you set your computer to a metered connection it can't update without your consent (:
This works on Windows 10, not sure about 11 yet though. (It's in the Settings menu, network settings, and I think you have to go into the settings for the specific network you're connected to. If you do a network reset, it removes that setting, so be sure to set it back afterwards!)
Also I believe no piece of software except for internet browsers should have always online internet connection. In fact, if you have something like an multiplayer game, you should go and click a very visible, very noticeable button that allows it to connect to the internet. If there is an update to an application, even your own OS, it should be in a very, very visible notification and only start with your express consent. You should be able to tell when something in your computer is connected to the internet. If you update your program in the background you should be shot.
#I found that last part out the hard way.#Got jumped by Many Updates as soon as I reconnected after a Network Reset.#I only wish I'd known it sooner because one of the updates absolutely messed up my network adapter#(it's a common story according to the number of differently-hosted forum boards I found with the exact same problem)#but of course Windows 10 doesn't let you uninstall updates individually the way XP did. u_u#(before anyone asks yes I've checked for driver updates and checked the router and reset the adapter and disabled/enabled it#and done SO many network resets and run command lines to reset the ip and subnet and things I don't entirely understand (risky I know)#and disabled IPv6 and changed the one setting to Long Only and probably more things that I can't remember right now.#It still randomly disconnects and won't let me reconnect to the network unless I do a complete reboot.#And oftentimes on days it's doing this I'll have to reboot FIVE TIMES an HOUR.#I'm at the point where I'm just going to get a very long ethernet cable as soon as I have spare cash. :P#anyways. OS updates. Metered connection stops them!#computer#windows#tips and tricks
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May Whomstever-the-FUCK decided to make it so Internet Routers need a MyFuckin' App to set up the password and security settings step on randomly generated Lego pieces of various shapes and sizes and pain intensities for the rest of their fricken life.
#I just spent TWO HOURS troubleshooting only to be told 'you need an app' over and over#no alternative! it wont LET YOU connect to the IP like ANY OTHER ROUTER would! only app! otherwise BLOCKS YOU!#only to find out for SOME REASON the internet person who came and set it up for my parents#HAD IT ACTIVATED ON THEIR OWN APP!!! So I had to FACTORY RESET IT like THREE TIMES#TO BE ABLE TO ACCESS AND SECURE! MY OWN DAMN ROUTER!!!#Why didn't you have one of the like 7 people here who have phones do it my dude???#We don't want some random person having permissions to our internet!#THIS APP LEGIT GIVES THEM ACCESS TO EVERYTHING TOO#DEVICE INFO#DEVICE BLOCKING#NETWORK INFO AND BLOCKING#LETS YOU DISABLE ACCESS TO CERTAIN WEBSITES AND APPS#A STRANGER SHOULD NOT HAVE THIS INFO!!#also they were rude as shit but thats whatever I really don't care bout you being a bitch#UNLESS YOU BE A BITCH BY MAKING ME SPEND 3 HOURS TRYING TO GET ACCESS TO MY OWN ROUTER CAUSE YOU FOR SOME REASON GAVE IT TO YOURSELF INSTEA#I don't want some rando walking around with a phone that has an APP that lets them DO ANYTHING THEY WANT to our internet#from changing the PASSWORD to disabling the SECURITY FEATURES to telling my mom she can't get on FACEBOOK ANYMORE#not that I think that last one is entirely a bad thing BUT NOT FOR SOME RANDO TO DECIDE#THE AMOUNT OF THINGS I CAN DO TO EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WITH THIS APP IS ALARMING TO THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE HAVING#yes they probably deleted it off immediately but that also doesn't help! me! make sure our router is SECURED. BRO.#anyways I'm Mad why is everything APPS these days why do we need this
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How to Troubleshoot Common Wi-Fi Issues
In today’s hyper-connected world, a stable Wi-Fi connection is essential for everything from remote work to streaming entertainment. Yet, despite advances in technology, Wi-Fi issues remain a common frustration. Whether it’s slow speeds, frequent disconnections, or devices failing to connect, understanding how to troubleshoot common Wi-Fi issues can save you from a lot of headaches. Wi-Fi…
#Connection Issues#connectivity#connectivity issues#Device Connection#Disconnections#Extender#Factory Reset#firmware#Frequency Bands#home network#Home Wi-Fi#interference#Internet#internet speed#IP Conflicts#ISP#Mesh Network#network#Network Issues#Network Settings#Network Setup#Online Troubleshooting#Outages#Password#Plan Upgrade#QoS#router#Router Settings#security#Signal Boost
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LORD WIFI HAS RETURNED TO MY HOME
#also it was technically not my fault#apparently our router is old and we should've gotten a replacement already#and I'm guessing that's why a reset that should've wiped only our custom settings#wiped absolutely everything and disconnected it from the network#yay#mogologue
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*biting my phone carrier* guess who's having bs service issues again
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Samsung TV Will Not Connect To WIFI
Samsung TV Will Not Connect To WIFI
If you’re having trouble connecting your Samsung TV to WiFi we’ll explain why your Samsung TV might not be connecting to WIFI and provide step-by-step instructions on what to do to fix it. By the end of this article, you should have your Samsung TV connected to your home network. If you have a Samsung TV and are having trouble connecting it to your home Wi-Fi network, you’re probably feeling…
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Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself
Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.
Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.
Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.
Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.
Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.
Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.
Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.
#glow up#that girl#level up journey#healthy habits#goal setting#successhabits#success mindset#femme fatale#dark femininity#high value woman#dark feminine energy#it girl#the feminine urge#high value mindset#female excellence#dream girl#queen energy#female power#higher self#self love#healthyhabits#dream life#glow up tips#glow up era#glow up journey#girl advice#girl blogging#life path#life advice#femmefatalevibe
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BREAKING! The American Economy Is About to Crash Harder Than We’ve Ever Seen And It’s All by Design
The American economy is on the verge of a catastrophic crash, and it’s not by accident—it’s all part of the elites' plan to tighten their grip on your life, your money, and your freedom. The crash that’s coming will make the past recessions seem like child’s play. This is not a natural market correction, it's a deliberate financial bloodbath orchestrated by those in power, and YOU are the target.
They’re not just after your money—they want complete control over every aspect of your life. And the worst part? Most people are asleep, unaware that their entire existence is about to be turned upside down.
This collapse isn’t incompetence; it’s a calculated attack. The elites are burning down the current system to rebuild one where they own everything—and they want total control. Every dollar, every transaction, your freedom, your future—all under their watchful eye.
Look around—inflation is skyrocketing, the housing market is becoming impossible, and debt is exploding. This is no accident. The economy is being primed for a collapse, and when it happens, the 2008 crisis will look like a joke in comparison.
What’s their real agenda? It’s simple: control. When the economy collapses, the elites will roll out their "solution", and that solution will be your worst nightmare. Total control over every aspect of your life—that's what they want, and they’ll stop at nothing to get it.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking your gold and silver will save you. The elites have already set traps for that too. When this crash hits, precious metals won’t mean a thing in their new system. They’ve already planned the next era of control with digital currencies and total surveillance.
There is no power vacuum coming, only new chains being forged. The collapse will only pave the way for a new, even more oppressive system. They’ve been planning this for decades, and when the dust settles, the elites will hold all the power.
Every major crisis—from 9/11 to the 2008 crash to COVID-19—has been used to tighten their control. The American economy is just the next domino to fall, and the solution they offer will rob you of your freedom.
Wake up to the reality. This crash is coming fast, and it’s by design. Resist their narrative. Prepare yourself, build local networks, and start thinking about how to survive without their system. They want you blind, but you have a choice—fight back or be crushed.
The Great Reset is happening right before your eyes. Are you going to be a pawn in their game, or will you wake up and fight for your freedom? 🤔
The time is now!
#pay attention#educate yourselves#educate yourself#knowledge is power#reeducate yourselves#reeducate yourself#think about it#think for yourselves#think for yourself#do your homework#do your own research#do some research#do your research#ask yourself questions#question everything#financial crash#stock market crash#financial crisis#news#government corruption#it's coming
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"Teyvat's Special Delivery" Genshin Impact 4th Anniversary Web Event Now Online
With the festival approaching and a surge in deliveries, come and help Kirara deliver packages to share heartfelt wishes to everyone~
There's a special package waiting for you too!
>> Click to Take Part in Event <<
〓Event Duration〓
2024/09/27 – 2024/10/07 23:59:59 (UTC+8)
*Rewards cannot be claimed after the event ends. Please claim them in time.
〓Eligibility〓
Travelers who have reached Adventure Rank 10 or above can participate in this event.
〓Event Description〓
Travelers can obtain packages by completing tasks and choose the corresponding recipient to deliver the packages to different areas. When delivering the packages, you will also receive a gift from the recipient.
Complete all the package deliveries to unlock your anniversary gift, which includes a reward of Primogems ×40 and an exclusive fourth anniversary recipe!
〓Obtaining Packages〓
1. There are a total of 6 packages that need to be delivered to different areas, with each area receiving only one package.
2. Travelers can obtain packages by completing the following tasks: perform corresponding actions in Genshin Impact, such as daily logins or claiming commission rewards, or outside the game by watching Natlan trailers, visiting official social media, etc.
*Packages obtained from completing tasks need to be collected manually in the event page. Packages earned through daily tasks that have not been collected will also be reset when daily tasks are refreshed the next day, so remember to collect them!
*Daily Tasks will reset daily at 04:00. If Travelers try to visit the event around this time, they may encounter a brief network error. Please refresh the page if you encounter this error.
*After completing the package deliveries for all areas, you can continue to complete tasks and still receive packages, but you will no longer be able to make additional deliveries.
〓Delivering Packages〓
1. After obtaining a package, Travelers can click on any area to make a delivery. Based on the recipient information on the package slip, select the correct recipient to start the delivery.
2. After delivering the package, Travelers will receive a gift from the recipient.
3. After completing all the package deliveries, Travelers will also receive a mysterious gift and an anniversary card. Sharing any anniversary card will earn you Mora ×20,000.
*If the recipient is selected incorrectly, the system will provide a prompt, and Travelers can choose again.
*Each area can only receive one package delivery.
*After successfully starting a delivery, the number of deliverable packages will be automatically deducted. Travelers can enter the delivery area repeatedly until the package is delivered.
〓Event Rewards〓
1. The first time Travelers deliver a package to each area, they will receive in-game item rewards.
2. The full set of rewards include: Primogems ×40, exclusive 4th Anniversary Recipe "Delights of Wondrous Wanderings" ×1, Mystic Enhancement Ore ×5, Hero's Wit ×3, Sanctifying Unction ×3, Candied Ajilenakh Nut ×1, Rainbow Macarons ×1, Sprayfeather Gill ×3, and Mora ×20,000.
*The fourth anniversary event-exclusive recipe "Delights of Wondrous Wanderings" can only be obtained through this web event and is not available through any other means.
*The in-game rewards will be distributed via in-game mail. The mail will expire after 30 days, so don't forget to claim the rewards in time.
*This web event is provided purely for entertainment. It is not indicative of any related gameplay features in Genshin Impact.
#genshin impact#genshin impact updates#genshin impact news#official#web events#i hope they do another one of those events where they let us review our various accomplishments#i love those
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even funnier little update: i spent 4 hours troubleshooting ol' reliable last night and gave up only to wake up the next day and it fixed itself. i don't know what happened or what it did but thank god.
funny little update: ol' reliable (my computer) is having network issues so i can't draw anything until i figure out what's going on
#insane ramblings with vebbex#i think its because i reset my network settings and it didn't reset immedietely idk man#i love my shitty little tablet computer
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[September 1] Don’t Fall For Hollywood Bosses’ New PR Spin
'Today marks the 122nd day of the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike and 48th day of the Screen Actors Guild and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) strike. The dual work stoppages have brought Hollywood to a standstill, with production halted on films and television programs, and premieres and other promotional events either scaled back or canceled. Both guilds are striking over demands that are more than reasonable, particularly given studio executives’ record pay. These demands include fair compensation for streaming media (particularly better residuals, which currently pale in comparison to what they are for network and cable broadcasts), robust studio support for health and retirement funds, and safeguards around the use of artificial intelligence. (For more on why WGA and SAG-AFTRA are on strike, read the excellent reporting of Jacobin’s Alex Press).
In a move that has shocked…pretty much no one, Hollywood bosses don’t want to share their earnings with the very storytellers responsible for generating them. At the same time, they’re happy to make workers pay the cost for their own miscalculations about streaming.
The major Tinseltown studios – organized under the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) trade association – remain stubbornly opposed to striking a fair deal with either guild. Under the leadership of AMPTP president Carol Lombardini, studios have employed brutal tactics to bust the strike, including threatening to drag things out until writers lose their homes and using management-friendly trade publications to pressure the guilds into accepting lowball offers. These tactics have backfired spectacularly: not only have they failed to end either strike, but they’ve also turned the public overwhelmingly against the AMPTP. A new Gallup poll finds that Americans back the WGA over the AMPTP by 72% to 19%, and SAG-AFTRA over AMPTP by 64% to 24%.
Aware of their reputational damage (but willfully ignorant of the anti-worker attitude that caused it), the AMPTP announced a “reset” to its approach this week – not by negotiating in good faith or meeting the guilds’ demands, but by hiring a pricey crisis-management PR firm to revamp its image! According to Deadline, the AMPTP has hired The Levinson Group – a D.C.-based PR shop best known for representing the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team in its campaign for pay equity – to “reframe the big picture for studio and streamer CEOs who have been characterized as greedy, imperious and out of touch.”
If you’re feeling like you’ve seen this movie before, you’re not wrong. During the last WGA strike 15 years ago, studio bosses hired former Clinton comms strategists Mark Fabiani and Chris Lehane to revive the AMPTP’s flagging public image. The revolving-door duo were paid a jaw-dropping $100,000 per month by the AMPTP to strike-bust, deploying campaign-style spin attacks designed to break the WGA’s resolve.
As I wrote for The American Prospect in May:
“Fabiani and Lehane created a website with a live tally of the millions of dollars in income that guild members and on-set crew had purportedly lost by striking. They urged studio CEOs to publicly refer to WGA representatives as “organizers” rather than “negotiators” because the former “sound[ed] more Commie.” Lehane even told the press at one point that striking writers were “making more than doctors and pilots,” cynically arguing that the strike was harming “real working-class people” like below-the-line workers who had lost income from struck late-night talk shows […] Fabiani and Lehane were [also] the brains behind a “strongly worded and downright menacing” AMPTP press release breaking off negotiations with the WGA in December 2007. This move allowed the studios, which cited a protracted strike as an “unforeseeable event,” to invoke force majeure contract clauses and cancel multiple writer-producer deals worth tens of millions of dollars, severely demoralizing the WGA’s rank-and-file members.”
The parallels between 2008 and today are striking. Like Fabiani and Lehane (who have worked for scandal-plagued clients like Gray Davis, Bill O’Reilly, Lance Armstrong, and Goldman Sachs) the Levinson Group has no qualms about representing greedy and unsavory characters. Over the years, Levinson has done PR for predatory student lender Better Future Forward, reviled monopolist Live Nation/Ticketmaster, a talc mining company linked to the Johnson & Johnson baby powder cancer scandal, and Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes.
And just like the ex-Clinton spin doctors, the Levinson Group boasts close revolving-door ties to powerful politicians and the news media. The firm currently represents President Biden’s personal attorney Bob Bauer and previously represented John Podesta’s family lobbying firm. Levinson partners have previously worked for an array of influential politicians, including former President Bill Clinton, Senators Jon Tester and Amy Klobuchar, Representatives Maxine Waters and Ted Lieu, and former and current Los Angeles Mayors Eric Garcetti and Karen Bass. The firm’s founder and CEO Molly Levinson spent eight years working for CNN and CBS, while two of the Levinson Group’s top managing directors are alumni of CNBC and The Wall Street Journal. With a web of strong connections to power players in the entertainment industry’s twin capitals of LA and New York, along with the nation’s capital, Levinson could help the AMPTP tilt the regulatory and media scales back in the bosses’ favor.
Though this may sound demoralizing, striking writers and actors shouldn’t lose hope. For one, consider a surprisingly uplifting parallel between 2008 and 2023. Fifteen years ago, after Fabiani and Lehane took the AMPTP’s contract, the SEIU and other unions that had previously worked with the duo severed ties with them for trying to bust the writers’ strike. Fast forward to this week: the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team Players Association (Levinson’s star client!) publicly rebuked the firm for doing the AMPTP’s dirty work and voiced support for the dual WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. If history is any indication, it’s only a matter of time until other pro-union Levinson clients – like the majority SEIU-owned Amalgamated Bank – follow suit and sever ties with the firm.
There is also one crucial way in which 2023 is thankfully not like 2008: The Levinson Group is bad at their jobs.
Consider an August 27th New York Times article about AMPTP President Carol Lombardini*, which was almost certainly pitched or otherwise molded by Levinson flacks. The article goes to ridiculous lengths to rehabilitate Lombardini’s image:
The article passively describes Lombardini’s tenure as “marked by labor peace until now” (a peace that she has now broken) and shifts blame for her unpopular decisions to anonymous AMPTP members (how convenient!).
Article co-authors Brooks Barnes and John Koblin quote a 2014 email from then-WarnerMedia CEO Kevin Tsujihara praising Lombardini’s negotiation skills and recommending she receive a $365,000 bonus. Curiously absent from the article is any mention of Tsujihara’s high-profile 2019 resignation from WarnerMedia for pressuring actresses into non-consensual sex.
Barnes and Koblin attempt to paint a “she’s just like us” picture of Lombardini (who reportedly earns a $3 million annual salary), mentioning her upbringing in a “working-class town outside Boston” and love for Red Sox and Dodgers games.
Barnes and Koblin paint a rosy picture of the AMPTP’s “sweetened proposal” (their words) to the WGA, describing the studios’ August counteroffer as “including higher wages, a pledge to share some viewership data and additional protections around the use of artificial intelligence.” Barnes & Koblin never quote the WGA’s well-founded reasons for turning down this lowball offer, saying only that the WGA is “holding firm to demands related to staffing minimums and transparency into streaming-service viewership.”
Bizarrely, the core issue of underpaid streaming residuals (the main reason writers are demanding greater streaming transparency) is never mentioned in the article.
Barnes and Koblin frequently imply that criticism of Lombardini is unfair, describing her as an “easy target” for the “grievances of striking workers” and singling out a tweet purportedly “mocking [Lombardini] as a fuddy-duddy who hangs out at chain restaurants”.
Barnes and Koblin quote a pre-strike September 2022 Deadline interview with Teamsters organizer Lindsay Dougherty to claim that Lombardini has the “grudging respect” of union leaders who see her as a “fair individual.” They did not quote more recent statements from Dougherty, who last month tweeted that the “greedy” AMPTP had “declared war on Hollywood Labor” by refusing to negotiate in good faith with WGA and SAG-AFTRA.
In one unintentionally eyebrow-raising line, Barnes and Koblin state that Lombardini was “inspired to become a lawyer by reading articles about F. Lee Bailey.” Neither Bailey’s sordid clients (like OJ Simpson) nor his multiple disbarments are mentioned in the article.
And it’s not just me who finds the Levinson Group’s efforts laughable. Discussions of the NYT story on Reddit and Twitter are dominated by comments tying the story’s blatant reputation laundering for Lombardini to the AMPTP’s concurrent hiring of Levinson. A recent New Yorker puff piece on Warner CEO David Zaslav has been met with similar ridicule – with many commenters also pointing to Levinson’s potential influence. So too have recent stories from management-friendly trades like Deadline – all of which have failed to make a dent in strong public support for WGA and SAG-AFTRA. This is a good sign: not only is the public more inclined to side with striking workers than it was in 2008 – it’s also seemingly more attuned to the role of corporate PR flacks in shaping the media narrative. If studio bosses think they can remake the same movie and end another strike with flashy spin-doctors, they’re sorely mistaken.
So here’s my advice to the AMPTP (and it won’t cost you six figures per month to hear it): the way to fix your reputation problem is to end the strike by giving writers and actors what they want. No strike-busting comms team can rescue you from the hole you’ve dug yourself into.
As the LA Times’ Mary McNamara recently put it, “You’ve lost the war. The best thing to do now is negotiate the terms of surrender.”'
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WIBTA if I changed my name because people are overusing the nickname privilege?
2 years ago, I (29, transmasculine) changed my name. For the sake of this ask, since I don't want to use my real name, a decent equivalent is James, so I'll be using that instead.
I originally told my mom and my roommate/close friend (Alex, 29, agender) I was okay with the nickname Jamie, but I'd prefer to mostly be called James, especially when it comes to people I don't know well.
I tried to set this boundary because the nickname feels a little feminine, even if it's technically gender neutral. I don't pass very often, so it makes me uncomfortable to think people who don't know me might misunderstand, and think I am simply a woman with a gender neutral nickname. So I envisioned Jamie being reserved for the people closest to me because of that.
Both my mom and Alex opted to call me Jamie immediately. They introduced me to friends, family members, and even strangers as Jamie, put my name in their phone as Jamie. My mom sends me packages addressed to "Jamie [lastname]". Just the other day, Alex's grandma sent us chocolates in the mail and the note inside said "Merry Christmas Alex and Jamie!" and I am not close to her by any means, I am positive Alex must have told her that's my name. Just tons and tons of little things like that.
It took me a while to catch on - at first I thought people simply decided to call me Jamie on their own, or heard Alex or my mom talk to me and figured it was okay. I'm autistic, so it takes a while to figure out the best way to approach a problem involving social skills. I didn't want to immediately jump in and say "hey, don't call me that, you don't know me well enough," because I think that's a bit callous. And I thought I was dealing with just a few acquaintances - not literally everyone Alex or my mom talks to.
I confronted both of them about a year ago, when I finally put it together. They said they're not intentionally disregarding my feelings, but "Jamie suits you so much more" so they forget and it just slips out.
(I could be wrong, but I think this is probably because Jamie can be a girl's name and I still look like a girl. So, yeah, of course they'd feel that way.)
I begged them to stop and call me James if they're talking to people about me. My mom promptly "forgot" again. Alex has gotten better about it, but still slips up. Even if they were perfect, I feel like the damage is done after 2 years of this.
To further complicate things, Alex actively avoids using pronouns to refer to people in speech. They will say things like "I've been told that the flight was canceled" instead of "he said he canceled the flight". This is due to anxiety because they're not great at remembering pronouns & doesn't want to accidentally misgender anyone. So there is a lot of general confusion about my pronouns amongst the groups that are connected to Alex. (I don't really use social media, so informing people of my pronouns is more complicated than just putting them in my bio and calling it a day. I've asked Alex to please just say he/him, but they're so resistant and weird about it because of their irrational fears, which...honestly just feels transphobic now).
Now I've started to ask them to drop the nickname entirely, even privately. Call me James and nothing else forever. Jamie has been thoroughly ruined for me, I just feel nauseous when I see or hear it. But at this point, since I lost my job & most of my social network is through Alex, everyone calls me Jamie, and it's exhausting to correct them over and over when it's such a small, seemingly pedantic thing. I don't mind a little confrontation or advocating for myself, but this...this is beyond what I can handle without getting severely stressed out.
So I've been considering changing my name to something else that doesn't have such a common gender neutral/feminine nickname. Just start over. Reset.
But this would be the third time I've changed my name. The first time was like 6 years ago, and it only lasted a few months before I decided it didn't fit, and went back to using my deadname while I figured myself out. My family remembers this well, and 2 years ago when I told them I go by James now, expressed their frustration because I "keep changing things and it's confusing". I'm worried that if I change my name again, nobody will bother to take it seriously, they'll just assume I'll change it again, so why bother using the correct name at all.
Plus I do see how it could be considered petty or immature. It took years to settle on the name I have now. I put a ton of thought into it. I used to love it. I might be TA for letting something as unimportant as an overused nickname sway me to the point where I feel like I need to throw the whole name away.
I mean, I understand why younger trans people might do that, since they have less of their life established and are figuring out who they are, but I'm nearly 30, so I feel like I am getting too old for this. It's just tiring.
Idk, I probably won't make any decisions based on the results of this, but the feedback would be helpful to consider. WIBTA?
What are these acronyms?
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