#Religious trauma cas

[wom-womp]

I KNOW conservatives hate to see them and their third dad Sam coming

(I wanted to pick a dif pic for Cas but I think that pathetic photo fits better with the "Religious Trauma Dad" archetype)

[iwasateenagenosferatu]

Sister Lucy 🙏

[girlboygilliontidestrider]

“I think.

my friends, caspian, Karlach and Laezel, i love them dearly. i enjoy practicing music, yet the shame weighs on my shoulders, do i enjoy being out in land rather than following my own crafted destiny? is it my right to wish i wasn’t chosen? No, it is not, I smite these ideologies, I pray to be forgiven though i am not even sure I am being heard. “

[alienfagz]

I think that being an angel would be a lot like being a system. You’ve been a soldier for eons, fighting whether you want to or not. God made you to do His dirty work. How could you not be broken into pieces? You are a being without form, immeasurably large, infinitesimally small. Eyes, wings, rings trapped in a human form. Your head feels hauntingly clear inside the walls of the church, it takes everything within you to not fall to your knees in prayer the moment you cross the threshold of His home. or whatever.

[samdeancrimespree]

i don’t think dean loving cas/sam is an either/or. i think he loved them both.

cas falling in love with the righteous man who is in love with own brother, and realizing it didn’t mar his soul at all. dean was perfect, and half of his soul was sam’s. cas falling not only because he loved dean, but because the abomination, the boy king, was gentle and selfless and believed that angels could be good. he couldn’t love dean without loving sam because he held dean’s soul in his hands and it was damaged from torture but even before that, from being ripped away from his soulmate.

cas forgetting that humans couldn’t see the things he saw, they couldn’t tell just by looking at those two how close they were. their souls only looked right when they were pressed against each other; that was when the tangle of colours made sense, bleeding into the other like a breathing work of art.

cas protecting them both from harm because nothing is more precious than love and devotion and family and the winchesters represent it in every possible way.

cas was the only one they trusted to take care of their brother, and that trust was more like love than anything cas could imagine. and he understood why they’re like that, because it’s intoxicating, to be looked at with so much emotion it burns like hellfire, holy oil, agony.

cas loved the winchesters, and they loved him back. not as much as they loved each other, but he would never expect them to.

because dean winchester owned very few things, and even fewer of them loved him back. because there were only two living beings known as his: brother, and angel. dean called cas his brother, and cas could tell that was a higher honour than marriage, and that’s when he knew he was a winchester.

[mommysbluntlittleinstrument]

Thinking about the parallels between Castiel saying Dean taught him how to love the whole world and the Catholic idea that God loves humans through and because of Jesus…might go write an essay and cry about it

[castielafflicted]

someone else with religious trauma tell me why i think the casifer line "if it makes you comfy, you can call me god" is so hot. and why in fics cas going by emmanuel Does Something to me. and dean praying to cas in nsfw fics. and

[faithdeans]

if i don't project my 3 major issues on to those 3 men i will explode

[destructivedistractions]

Listen I've never been the biggest fanfiction reader. But if a show has me opening up ao3, that's when you know some gay bitches have wiggled their way to my cerebellum.

[emmetton]

[Insert Title About Religious Trauma]

god its hard not to relate to cas

[wom-womp]

A Wip.... but for what :0??? Who knows

(I do, it's for an au but school + work are kicking my ass so I'll finish it when I can)

...

Was this an excuse to draw Cas as a furry? Perhaps... am I admitting this? Maybe... will I keep doing this? Yes

[dreamytfw]

Hell yeah, inject this shit straight into my veins

Yeah, yeah, we've all thought about John telling Dean to kill Sam through a Michael and Lucifer lens and a Cain and Abel lens. Of course we would. It's right fucking there in the canon.

But have we ever considered: the Abraham and Isaac lens?

[alienfagz]

I am not the priest’s favorite sacrificial lamb. I am the one who could not sit still in church. I am the one who ran when he got too close. When he told the flock about Gods plan for us, I am the one who asked too many questions. I was new to the world, and like any new thing, I didn’t know any better. I was the first to go. I was the first to be chosen because he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.

When he slit my throat, he was started, for I did not flinch. I accepted my fate with pride.

[lansangprincess]

What I Want to See in HBH S3!⋆·˚ ༘ *

note that this is a list not to be mistaken as things i expect to see in s3

the introduction of a new trans character !

the introduction of a new character who will have a cutesy and fun lovey storyline for quinni <33

harthony uno reverse card—harper starts to realize she has feelings for ant but is scared to confess bc she's still dealing w her trauma and doesnt want to lose him

ant main storyline !! we find out a lot more about his home life (this is for the bitches w religious trauma, it's me im bitches) and find out what his ethnic background is bc i realized that ive been assuming he's wasian this whole time but it's never actually been said

i miss a parent-child storyline actually (like darren and their dad had in s1). i think quinni would be great for this

chook in jail jfc

sasha home life—could be redemption, could be not. im chill either way, i kinda enjoy getting annoyed at her (just no more ableism pls). if she does get redemption tho could she pls tap into more of her succulent chinese meal, dinussy side like she is so hilarious when she's not being a performative activist lmao

less spider screentime im sorry like hurrayy he's been redeemed but i want to highlight the other characters now

missy&darren storyline. i dont even know what kind of storyline but i just feel like theyd be so entertaining together constantly roasting people

verbally canonizing that ant and harper are queer/pan (established) and spider's demi (new revelation)

ca$h/darren & missy/spider double date could be fun and random. maybe they bump into each other at a carnival or smthn and compete against each other at ring toss idk

another classic hbh mystery to be solved BUT THIS TIME, amerie isn't a main character of it

✧˚ ·the entire main group doing karaoke✧˚ ·

A few more thoughts...

i miss malakai already but i think it would be too narratively convenient for him to come back at the start of the season so i dont want to have any expectations for his (and the amerie/malakai) storyline. imma let the writers take me wherever they want me to go

what i dont want to see is a new love interest for my amerie like i feel bad for the new plot device dressed as a white blond boy that will be tossed away once the amerkai endgame is done cooking

no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst 😭

what i want to hear in a new season of hbh is some chappell roan like imagine HOT TO GO! playing in hbh it would be amazing

[hbo--spn]

aaaand we are back with another: beck analysing sam's religious trauma.

in 4x4 when dean says: "cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. see what that means, sam? that means that God doesn't want you doing this."

sam looks so utterly devastated to hear that an angel, an angel he hasn't even MET yet btw, is warning dean about sam's powers. he wants to use them for good so badly and convinces himself so deeply that he can use his hell-given gifts for good, that the looks of pain and surprise when dean uses heaven as a psychological weapon against sam is so real and heartbreaking.

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I saw Sam and Dean as these two traumatized kids trying their best who became two traumatized adults trying their best. I never thought their best was good or right. Sometimes they were right, often wrong, but mostly I didn't think that was the point of the story.

To me Supernatural is split into two stories; seasons 1-5 are building up to Sam and Dean rejecting the roles they're forced to play by a cruel cosmic design; seasons 6-15 are them in the aftermath of that rejection, it's what happens after the credits, when you force the characters to continue beyond 𝓉𝒽ℯ ℯ𝓃𝒹. That story is them choosing free will while still falling into the pattern of their predetermined roles, struggling to break free because they love each other and should be allowed to love each other, but needing to be their own people apart from any planned narrative.

As inconsistent as Supernatural could be, I always understood Sam, Dean, and Cas. I understood it's easier for characters like Cas and Dean to take care of others over themselves, and that caring for Jack gave Cas a firmer foundation than him caring for Dean (who doesn't know how to be taken care of). Cas' religious trauma is soothed by caring for someone who can see his care for what it is and has as many existential issues as he does. Dean caring for others, however, and especially for Sam, is part of his trauma. It's what he struggles with. He needs to take care of Sam but doesn't know how to take care of anyone without martyring himself and that's why he keeps getting it wrong— he's selfish in his selflessness.

Sam's trauma is different, he's used to being the one who's taken care of, to the extent that he's adrift when that's not happening and clings to his idealized normalcy most of the times he loses Dean. To me the closest Sam's at to being okay with who he is was at Stanford and only because he didn't know how manipulated the situation was or how similar he is (perceived as being) to the monsters they hunt. My interpretation of Sam's journey is him needing to forge his identity apart from overbearing expectations or his own romanticizations. In leading, in standing behind what he likes and what he wants, in being at peace with himself and living a life truly on his own terms.

Which is why the ending left me feeling bittersweet. In the end Dean and Sam still play out their cosmic roles; biblically codependent brothers, caretaker and cared for. The Winchester trauma cycle keeps cycling. I'm only glad Bobby was the father stand-in and not John in the end because that gave me hope they could break it eventually in team free will 2.0: heaven edition.