#Red White and Blue Humor

[noisycowboyglitter]

Kamala Harris Joke Mugs: Funny Gifts for Republicans

The phrase "Funny Anti Kamala Harris Stupid Joke" refers to a category of political humor targeting Vice President Kamala Harris. This type of content often emerges from opposition to Harris's policies, her role in the Biden administration, or her personal characteristics.

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These jokes typically aim to criticize or mock Harris, often exaggerating her mannerisms, speech patterns, or perceived missteps. They may focus on her laugh, which some critics have described as awkward or forced, or reference moments from her political career that her opponents view as embarrassing or contradictory.

It's important to note that humor targeting political figures can be controversial. While some view such jokes as harmless political satire, others may see them as disrespectful, potentially sexist or racist, given Harris's groundbreaking position as the first woman, first Black person, and first person of South Asian descent to become U.S. Vice President.

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The term "stupid" in this context might refer to the nature of the jokes themselves, suggesting they are overly simplistic or lacking in sophisticated humor. Alternatively, it could be part of the criticism aimed at Harris, implying the jokes mock perceived incompetence.

Political humor, including that directed at Harris, often spreads rapidly through social media, memes, and conservative-leaning comedy shows or podcasts. While some find this content entertaining, it's crucial to approach such material critically, considering potential biases and the broader impact of political discourse.

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Ultimately, the prevalence and reception of such jokes reflect the polarized nature of contemporary American politics and the ongoing debates surrounding Harris's role and performance as Vice President.

"American Flag USA Humor" refers to a genre of comedy that playfully engages with American patriotism, culture, and national symbols, particularly the Stars and Stripes. This type of humor often involves witty observations, jokes, or memes that use the American flag as a central theme or visual element.

Such comedy might poke fun at excessive displays of patriotism, American stereotypes, or the country's quirks and contradictions. It can range from gentle ribbing to more pointed satire, reflecting on various aspects of American life and politics.

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Examples might include humorous T-shirt designs featuring distorted flag imagery, jokes about flag etiquette taken to absurd extremes, or memes that juxtapose the flag with unexpected elements of pop culture.

While some may view this humor as irreverent, others see it as a celebration of American values like free speech and the ability to laugh at oneself. As with all political humor, it can be both entertaining and controversial, depending on the audience and context.

[scampthecorgi]

Happy 4th of July from Scamp through the years! That boy sure knew how to wear a patriotic bow tie!

🐶🇺🇸🦮🇺🇸🐶

[kawaiizombiepizza]

FirstPrince + Textposts

#I made my own# I love them so much #they're so cute #I wanna cry #hello 911? #there's been a robbery #the victim? #my emotions

[dragonboots10]

I’m late to the Red, White and Royal Blue party but shout out to that scene where Alex asks if maypoles are “known for their homosexual tendencies” and Henry goes “oh yes, notorious” bc that is exactly how gay people talk

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

RWRB Text Posts (Christmas Edition)

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

(Dil)Do It Yourself

RWRB | E | 16.6K | Now Complete, Start Here

Key Tags: Alternate Universe, Strangers to Lovers, Meet-Cute, Smut, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Feelings

Summary:

“Listen,” Nora starts, turning her body once more so that she’s sitting sideways in the chair with her legs thrown across the armrest. “I did the math. There’s a 79% chance you’re gonna become a slut to the power of the prostate, and while we’re not dating anymore, it’s my duty as your fellow slutty bisexual to get this party started.” Or, when Nora drags Alex to a holiday dildo workshop, he doesn’t expect to find someone to use it with.

I'm going to be honest: I'm really proud of this work and it's kind of beautiful that it's my final fic of the year—I feel like it really shows my growth and strengths as a writer. I hope y'all love it half as much as I do :) It's fully written and chapters will be updated throughout the next week!

[andrewckeeper]

LIDMF AI "Not the Same Street"

[lovinglampcalzonepalace]

RWRB Incorrect Quotes

[v-tired-queer]

I have this really dumb headcanon where years after the events of the book and after a lot of ✨️therapy✨️ for Philip, he and Henry get to have a nice sibling relationship so when Alex and Henry eventually get married, Philip sets Alex's phone contact to "BIL < £75K 😒"

[anonymousromanticpoet]

Even more Red, White, and Royal Blue Headcanons…

Henry x Alex

They’re all fall themed, I know, I’m jumping the gun…but, as a flannel wearing gay (MLM) September 1 felt like the right day for these.

1. Alex’s official opinion is that the Pumpkin Spice craze is “cliche” and “a butchery of real coffee,” but Henry convinces him anyway to buy them both Pumpkin Spice Lattes on the first day of Fall. It turns out, the small coffee shop they frequent every weekend makes them completely differently (with freshly ground cinnamon, nutmeg, and organic cream), and Alex is instantly in love. Not that he tells Henry, of course. He has a reputation to uphold.

2. In exchange for him buying the PSLs, Alex convinced Henry to try “your ghastly American Earl Grey” at Starbucks, in the form of a London Fog (which Henry does not “chug like a frat bro shotgunning tequila, Alex.”) Secretly though, the foam and vanilla extract are a nice touch.

3. One thing they both admit to, is being suckers for a good, deep red, fall leaf lying on the path, picking up nearly enough to fill their only decorative bowl during one of David’s walks.

4. On Halloween, Alex dresses up as Henry, waking him up in a blonde wig and a three piece suit, complete with royal sash and white gloves, saying, in a terrible British accent “Bloody hell! Who’s this imposter in my bed?” Henry (after the initial fright) is doubled over laughing, tears rolling down his face, as he snaps picture after picture to send to Pez.

5. Henry’s costume is much more serious, a sleek Arthur Fox style James Bond, complete with perfectly gelled hair, a real gun (unloaded) that his father used as a prop, and a suit of his own that makes Alex weak in the knees.

6. Before going out for the evening, they also dress David in a pumpkin costume complete with a small stem hat, and parade him through the park. The tabloids eat it up, and Alex’s “Henry,” Henry’s Bond, and David’s pumpkin end up on the front pages of People Magazine, US Weekly, and The Sun.

[scampthecorgi]

11 years ago yesterday, May 31st, 2013, Scamp started this tumblr blog! His very first post was this picture of him with red, white and blue Jell-o for Memorial Day!

Thanks to everyone who has followed us through all these years!

[awhitehead17]

First Meetings

TimKon, FirstPrince, Established Relationship, Friendship, Teasing, Soft Boyfriends, Crossover.

Summary: “Tim, how do you know the President’s son? I mean I know you have friends in high places but this is another level.”

Tim frowns, why wouldn’t he know Alex? They grew up in the same social circle, attending fancy dinners with high profile socialites is what they did and Alex happened to be with his mother before she ran for presidency. At a young age, Alex is what made the dinners and galas bearable for Tim.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

Tim sighs heavily into the champagne glass as he lifts it to his lips. “God I hate these things. They’re the worst,” following his comment he downs the rest of the alcohol in the glass in one gulp.

Next to him Kon snorts, choosing to sip at his glass instead. “Is that why you’ve brought me? To share your hatred of these things?”

“Sharing is caring Kon.” Tim mutters unhappily. He honestly be rather anywhere else but here.

Right now he could be in bed, buried underneath blankets watching crappy films and eating junk food or he could be with the team yelling at the screen as both Bart and Kon very obviously cheat at Mario Kart because they’re losing against he and Cassie. Even if it’s neither of those things, he could be curled up with Kon somewhere ignoring the world as the two of them exist in their own little bubble.

But no.

He’s here – thankfully with Kon – at a charity gala representing the Wayne name because Bruce couldn’t make it, Tim happened to pull the short straw against his siblings so he had to come in his stead. He brought Kon so he could suffer along with him, but also to keep him company. Mostly to suffer though. These things are never fun.

“You know what I hate…” Kon speaks up, when Tim glances at him he spots his boyfriend frowning in displeasure and tugging at his suit, “are these damn things. They’re monkey suits, they serve no practical use. I feel like a penguin, I waddle anytime I walk because I’m so restricted.”

Tim couldn’t help but snort at everything that is Kon. His facial expressions, his discomfort and his words. Breathing deeply Tim deposits his empty champagne glass on a nearby table before turning to Kon. Reaching up he slaps Kon's hands away from the suit and begins straightening out his lapels, correcting the damage Kon had caused to the fabric.

“Well, I think you look good. This colour suits you, and this particular name really helps defines your shoulders and physique. You’re just not used to wearing them Kon.”

With his words Tim couldn’t help but drag his hands up from Kon’s chest, where they stayed after he straightened out his lapels, and drag them across his shoulders, letting his fingers run along the seam and just press in enough so Kon could feel it. Tim looks up and meets Kon’s eyes, his boyfriend’s gaze having darkened as he stares back at Tim. Knowing exactly what he's doing, Tim blinks slowly, heatedly, and smirks and lets his hands trail down Kon’s side under the guise of straightening out his jacket.

A hot and heavy atmosphere fills the small space between them and being this close to his boyfriend Tim could see how affected by his actions Kon is becoming. His shortened breath, his fingers clenching tightly into the glass almost smashing it, his dilated pupils, and the extreme tension now seeping through his body as he works to restrain himself.

Tim loves it. He loves riling Kon up where his boyfriend can’t act on his desires.

There’s been plenty of times where it’s been the other way around, where Kon is the one riling Tim up to the point of no return. His boyfriend’s gotten rather good at using his TTK for things in a less professional manner, and he isn’t afraid to bring it out at the worst of times. Tim doesn't have to worry about that tonight, because tonight he’s calling the shots and they both know it.

Leaning in towards Kon, whispering into the space between them as he keeps their gazes locked together he says, “You may hate the suit but I certainly don’t. I can’t wait to get you out of it later on, piece by piece…”

At the end of his sentence a loud crack could be heard and Tim merely raises an eyebrow. They both glance down at the glass still in Kon’s hand only to find it now featuring a new spiderwebbed pattern on it which hadn’t been there when Kon first picked it up. Somehow it’s still in one piece but it definitely isn’t safe to use anymore. Tim lets out a low laugh and decides to pull away and backs up a step. He doesn't want to blow Kon’s fuse so soon after all.

“I might see if I can get another drink, I assume you would like another one?” Tim asks sounding as composed as he has been all night. He’s glad for his acting skills, admittedly they were originally for undercover work but they do come in handy during other times as well.

“Yeah. That would be great. Thanks.” Kon speaks through gritted teeth, his voice sounding strained.

He’s glaring at Tim now, both in the way which tells Tim his boyfriend currently hates his guts but also in a lustful way which Tim knows is going to result in them feeling satiated and satisfied by the end of the night. Unfazed Tim smiles sunnily at him.

Before he could make a move to find a waiter a new voice calls out to Tim which makes him freeze on the spot.

“Timmy-tam!”

With his back to the room Tim doesn't know who is calling him and he glances at Kon who flicks his gaze over Tim’s shoulder and back again only to shrug in response, telling Tim he has no idea who it is.

Feeling all the lust and playfulness leave his body, Tim turns around to find out who is approaching and immediately groans upon seeing and recognizing them.

“Who is it?” Kon asks curiously, any previous signs of heat and want have also left Kon, the interruption doing a good job of killing the mood.

Tim signs resignedly watching the man approach them. He looks up at his boyfriend. “That is Alex Claremont-Diaz, the First Son of the United States. And an absolute pain in the ass. God, I haven’t seen him in years. Think of Dick’s charm and Jason’s cockiness, put them together and that’s him.”

Kon makes a humming sound and suddenly seems to remember he currently has an almost shattered glass in his hand. He quickly deposits it on the table behind them. “Does he know?”

Kon doesn't have to elaborate what he means and Tim instantly shakes his head. “No he doesn’t.”

That’s all they have time for because Alex is suddenly there, grinning widely at them. “Tim, how you doin’ man?”

Despite his words to Kon, Tim does in fact like Alex, the guy is pretty laidback and has a wicked sense of humour. He smiles back and holds out a hand to him. “Hey Alex, it’s been years.”

Alex clasps his hand but before Tim could react the other man is tugging him in for quick hug before letting him go again.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks with curiosity. His dark hair is curling artfully across his forehead and his suit is all pressed looking clean and proper; no one expects nothing less from the First Son.

Tim waves a hand flippantly. “I’m here in Bruce’s name, the old man couldn’t make it and I pulled the short straw to attend in his absence. Literally, pulled the short straw.”

“Ah, well it’s good to see you, we’ll have to catch up sometime properly, I know Nora would be thrilled to see you again.”

Tim is about to reply but gets distracted when a tall, blonde man comes up behind Alex and immediately grabs all of their attentions, especially Alex’s. He looks familiar but Tim can’t place who it is although he and Alex seem intimately familiar with one another if the lingering touches are anything to go by once the blonde hands Alex a champagne glass.

“I thought I would grab us another drink on my way back,” the blonde man says in lieu of greetings and Tim picks up on a distinctive British accent.

Alex positively beams and Tim works hard on containing his facial expression, he’s never seen Alex so smitten with someone before. “Thank you, I was beginning to get desperate. Oh!” He turns back to Tim and grabs the man’s hand to drag him closer. “Henry, this is Tim. Tim, this is His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales, also my boyfriend.”

To say Tim is shocked is putting it lightly. It would also explain the accent and why he looks somewhat familiar.

Before Tim gets a chance to reply - not that he knows what the correct response of greeting royalty is - Kon, who Tim had admittedly forgotten about until now, pipes up sounding unsure.

“Should we bow?”

A beat goes by and the silence is broken by Alex as he bursts out laughing, Tim facepalms, and Prince Henry’s expression becomes a mixture between amusement and embarrassment. He holds up his free hand with a smile. “There’s no need for that, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Please, Henry is fine.”

Getting over himself Tim shakes his hand and Kon follows suit afterwards. “Nice to meet you.”

So, Alex and a Prince of Wales huh… Tim would have never guessed that. It seems like they’ve both had rather life changing revelations during their time apart.

An elbow in his ribs breaks his thoughts and he rubs the sore spot and glares at his boyfriend. At Kon’s pointed look Tim realises his mistake. Not once, but twice, he’s forgotten about introducing Kon. Whoops.

Clearing his throat and taking a hold of Kon’s hand he finally introduces Kon to the other men. “This Conner Kent, my boyfriend. Kon this Alex and apparently his Prince of Wales boyfriend as you just heard.” Tim immediately rounds on Alex. “How on earth did that happen? You of all people!”

Alex looks affronted and places a hand on his chest in mock hurt. “You wound me Timmy-tam. I am an upstanding American Citizen, I have no idea what you are on about…”

Tim merely raises an eyebrow, a similar look Prince Henry is throwing him too, and after a couple seconds Alex deflates and drops the act. He leans in close to Tim and pretends to whisper behind his hand. “I have no idea either but I am not complaining!” Alex winks at his boyfriend and straightens back up. Prince Henry tries to hide his smile behind a sip of champagne but he isn’t fooling anyone.

Kon steps into the conversation looking as baffled as ever. It’s a cute look on him and Tim can’t help be reminded of the time Kon got confused when he accidently mixed up the chickens as he had been sorting them out in their pens on Kent Farm.

“Tim, how do you know the President’s son? That’s what I’m trying to currently wrap my head around… I mean I know you have friends in high places but this is another level.”

Tim frowns at his question, why wouldn’t he know Alex? They grew up in the same social circle, or Tim did until his mother passed away. Attending fancy dinners with high profile socialites is what they did and Alex happened to be with his mother before she ran for presidency. At a young age, Alex is what made the dinners and any galas bearable for Tim.

Tim turns to Kon gesturing between himself and Alex. “We used to attend these kind of events when we were younger. I used to get dragged along with my parents and Alex and his sister would occasionally be at them too. Despite our age difference, it helped having another young person around at the dinners.”

Alex seems to be looking at him thoughtfully. He takes a sip of his drink before pointing at him teasingly. “You were such a well behaved kid I couldn’t understand it.”

As if a lightbulb had gone off inside Alex’s mind he lights up excited and grins menacingly. From that look alone Tim knew he was in trouble. The situations worsens when Kon takes a keen interest in whatever Alex is about to spill out of his mouth.

“So the first time we met – god about twelve years ago now – we were at an evening gala, my mother was there networking and working on her campaign long before her presidency. As kids, June and I of course had to entertain ourselves. I decided to run and hide from June and slid underneath a random table, it was covered in a white table cloth and was perfect for cover, only I wasn't the only one under there!”

Alex turns to Tim pointedly and sends him a grin, all Tim could do is roll his eyes in response. There’s no point in trying to stop the man from sharing the story, especially not when both Kon and Prince Henry seem invested in hearing it, so he keeps quiet and lets Alex tell it. Kon shoots him a curious gaze but it’s immediately turned back to Alex as he continues speaking.

“Under the table was baby Tim, no more than what, eight years old-“

“Seven.” Tim corrects him. Not that it makes much difference.

“- and he was crying. He was super upset about something. I completely forgot about June and it took me around twenty minutes to calm him down and to work out what was wrong.”

Simultaneously both Kon and Prince Henry send him a concerned yet sympathetic look and despite himself Tim felt himself blush. It’s stupid, this happened years ago.

At this point Alex seems to hesitate, he sends Tim a questioning look, and Tim shrugs in response, waving a hand to say, ‘you can tell them.’ As he said, it happened years ago Tim’s long gotten over what happened by now.

Alex turns to his boyfriend, grabbing his free hand Alex suddenly looks the most unkempt he has done all night so far.

“His parents had left him behind at the gala. They’d been gone for nearly an hour before I found Tim underneath the table.” He whispers, his tone laced with shock and disbelief.

The Prince’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open, his gaze darts between Tim and Alex clearly shocked at reveal. Kon on the other hand grabs Tim’s hand and squeezes it comfortingly, when Tim meets his gaze Kon is wearing an expression of understanding and sadness. After all his boyfriend knows how shitty his parents were when he was young, this honestly isn’t a surprise.

“What – what did you do? Did you call the police, child protective services, there must have been something you done. That - that is absolutely appalling.” Prince Henry stutters out. It says a lot about his character on how he sounds so protective for someone he only just met by hearing story from when were a child that occurred years ago.

Alex shakes his head, continuing on with the story. “No. Not long after I calmed Tim down June actually found us. I ended up coaxing Tim out from underneath the table with some tim-tams while June went and got mom. Mom came and took over, she got Tim talking about what happened and he ended up staying with us for the night.”

Prince Henry looked like he was about to speak up, the hard look on his face telling Tim exactly what he was about to talk about. Tim holds up his hand to stop any questions being asked.

“It was difficult situation and because of who my parents were there wasn't a lot that could actually be done. I wouldn’t have been taken away from them despite what happened that night.” Despite how bad the situation actually was, Tim still feels that instinctive urge to defend his parents. He clears his throat, feeling the need to change topics. “Anyway, it was a shit night and what happened happened.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “It wasn't all that bad, you met me!”

Tim sends him a look. “I stand by what I said.” He tries his best to stop the playful smirk threatening to break free but in the end loses and lets himself grin.

Alex makes a disgruntled noise and crosses the short space between them in order to throw an arm around Tim’s shoulder and squeezes him tightly. “You love me. Don’t deny it! We had a great little alliance from that night onwards.”

With his face half smushed in Alex’s jacket Tim huffs. He’s used to this sort of treatment by now, not just from Alex but from his brothers too, and even on the occasion from Kon. After several beats Alex lets him go and crosses back over to be by Henry’s side. Tim blinks and immediately sees how well they fit together.

They start on a new topic when Alex brings up Henry’s LGBT+ shelter projects he’s currently working on with his best friend. Tim is immediately invested in learning all about it and even offers up his own information on his Neon Knights programme. Despite the differences in the projects they both agree to try and come up with a way to support one another, they even make a mental note to arrange a meeting so they can talk about it further.

Eventually the First Son and the Prince of Wales’ attention is being called elsewhere. The couple say their farewell’s, along with another hug from Alex, and promise to catch up in a less formal situation another day before wandering off, not hand in hand but certainly close to it.

Tim feels Kon step up to him, a hand sneaking across his back before settling on his waist.

“Well that was interesting.” His boyfriend states seeming amused. Tim instantly feels guilty, he pretty much ignored Kon the entire time as he got caught up in Alex and then in Prince Henry and his projects.

He turns to look at Kon to apologize but the Kryptonian waves it off. “Relax Tim don’t worry about it. If anything I’m sorry about what happened to you. At least Alex had been there and his mom. Crazy to think that the president took you in and looked after you as a kid.”

He guesses it seems rather crazy if he really thinks about it, but then again their whole lives are crazy. The president looking after him when he was a kid actually seems rather mundane compared to everything they deal with on a day to day basis.

Tim hums, unable to come up with a response to Kon’s statement. Alex had helped him that night and many more after that. It’s a shame they ended up losing contact, but then Tim decided to stalk batman across rooftops at night with a camera and became his hero years later and everything else that followed.

Maybe going forward Tim should try and put in the effort to keep in contact with Alex, and now Prince Henry too. Tim needs to start learning to separate his hero life from his civilian life and having some ‘normal’ friends wouldn’t hurt. It’s a work in progress but he’s getting there and this seems like a good stepping stone.

Behind him, Kon presses his chest to his back, and Tim could feel him slipping a hand along his side and into his front pocket of his trousers. Kon ducks his head until he’s pressing his lips against the skin of Tim’s neck towards his ear.

“I don’t know about you, but I think we’re good to go from this dreadful event right?” He trails his lips across Tim’s neck, the action makes him shiver as Kon’s breath ghosts over his skin. “Because I know there’s something I’d rather be doing right now…”

A wanton groan escapes past Tim’s lips without him meaning it too and right there Tim knows he’s done for. Before Kon could get anymore of the upper hand over him, Tim turns around, dislodging Kon's hands, and settles his own hands on Kon’s chest gripping his suit.

“I did make a promise after all did I?”

Kon’s stare is full of lust and desire. It’s an echo to the mood between them earlier. “Better hurry up and get us out of here Tim…”

“Fuck.”

Tim wastes no time in grabbing Kon's hand and starts leading him towards the exit of the room. As they go he somehow catches Alex’s gaze from across the room and the older man sends him a shit eating grin and a wink. Tim flips him off before continuing to drag Kon out of the event, Alex’s laugh could be heard in the wake of their departure.

He doesn’t care what Bruce has to say about them leaving earlier than scheduled, he has much more important – better – things to do with his night.

[bigballboy69]

I can’t support you horny straight women anymore. Making that little gay boy kiss Anne Hathaway☹️☹️☹️

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

im at that point in my queer journey where seeing characters be default straight onscreen is jarring. im just assuming everyones gay until hetero ykwim

[simsim54]

It really sucks when you've spent your money on someone, brought them into your home, and made them your top priority, only to end up crying because they stab you in the back. It's like you opened up your heart and life to them, and they just walked all over it. The pain is real, and it feels like they took advantage of your kindness, leaving you with nothing but tears and a heavy heart.

So, Fuck You Books

[trashbaget]

okay but i’d fucking love to do like, a watch party of this would anyone be down????