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#Raising fowl
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Raising fowl is a rewarding experience in many ways, and Muscovy ducklings are no exception.  They can be raised for meat, eggs or simply for the pleasure of watching these feathered friends forage around the yard.The breedMuscovy is the only domestic breed of duck that did not originate from Mallards.  Large birds that are typically white or white and black in the wild, they have evolved through domestication to now be available in a wide range of coloration.  There are some interesting, unique facts about this type of duck that is different from other breeds; for one thing, they enjoy roosting.  As the evening draws to a close, the ducks fly to the fence tops, building rafters or rooftops to roost for the night.  They also display a rough looking red “caruncle” around the area of the eyes and beak; a feature that some find endearing, while others consider it to be unattractive.
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dykemcqueen · 5 months
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artemis was the closest thing butler had to a friend and butler was the closest thing artemis had to a father......
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aftertheradar · 5 months
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so i've been rereading Artemis Fowl (series) again and even tho it was one of my favorite kids series I'm noticing some kinda weird or icky stuff that flew over my head before. Like damn if these books ain't just cyberpunk espionage magitek copaganda. Book 2 is literally about an ethnically motivated class uprising being put down by the police(who are framed as the good guys) because said racial minority/underclass is too violent and stupid to deserve better treatment in the prison system. and also too stupid and violent to have masterminded the plan for revolution themselves and needed one of the smart races to do it for them.
and any time there's a civilian presence in the book, they are depicted as either an antagonistic obstructive bureaucrat or a whiny caricature played for laughs. not totally sure if this is because these books were written while uncritically carrying over this kind of depiction that was historically the norm in its genres (police procedural), or if this is the author's own (conscious or subconscious) idealogical biases seeping in. might be both tbh.
anyway anyway the thing i actually wanted to bring up is that a really bizarre detail that stuck out to me during my re-reads is the way the different fairy races/species are characterized. there's 7(really 8) races/species of fairies who are disntint, and they have different traits and powers. So like there are elves who are good with magic, sprites who can fly, goblins (the aforementioned race that is too stupid and violent to be capable of organized protest) who can shoot fire etc.
Butt (foreshadowing lol) the one that was so weird to me is the characterization of gnomes, the last and arguably least of the fairy races in the artemis fowl series. they seem to make up the majority of the fairy population and a significant portion of background characters. bdon't get much screen time in the books because of not having any main characters who are one. They're sole defining characteristic?
Having enormous asses.
That's it. that's their whole thing. basically every time there's a gnome character depicted, the text goes out if it's way mention how dummy thicc the gnomes are and how their dumptruck rear ends take up too much room and keep blocking things and knocking shit over when they walk.
like there's also already a whole race of fairies (the dwarfs)whose whole thing is to be a never ending font of burglary escape techniques and fart jokes whenever the plot or author demand them. you would think having enormous asses would come in that territory, but no. it goes to the last group that we the audience don't really know or care about as much.
and i just don't really know what to make of that. that in coming up with fantasy races for his books, one of the most present but least prominent in tbe books' single defining and noteworthy character trait is having such fat asses that they block public pedestrian walkways (no really). i wish i knew what exactly the thought process behind (lol) that one was.
anyway hope i explained why it's so weird to me well, goodnight
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rexdoom · 2 months
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Goin to raise at least one Guinea Fowl this year, as a guard-bird an companion hopefully. Its a goal Im going to try and complete it will be fun an challenging!! So cool!!
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cetoddle · 3 months
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literally the only thing good about living in the midwest is that sometimes when you take the backroads you get to see chickens wandering around
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splicerthedicer · 1 year
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Listen, other people can eat bugs all they want. That's fine and very normal in some places. People are free to eat whatever, and I'm sure the easy protein is very helpful. Do what you want, I'm not your boss or mom or a cop.
But you could not pay me to do it. I'm sorry, nothing with that many legs can come near me, let alone enter my mouth. I don't care if it's dead and cooked and seasoned, I just can't do it dude.
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backjustforberena · 2 years
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I’m imagining Rhaenys and Corlys and their Driftmark wedding feasts and Corlys is like: I know we don’t have a Kingswood or much in the way of forests and red meats and access to the mainland in the way that the Red Keep does but say the word, I’ll get a boat and they’ll bring you back venison if you want it, you won’t have to go without. Like he would do anything to make his new Lady happy, definitely.
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Turkey Husbandry in the Context of Bangladesh and Its Prospects
Turkey Husbandry in the Context of Bangladesh and Its Prospects
Turkey husbandry, a growing sector in Bangladesh, holds significant potential for contributing to the nation's agricultural and economic development. While poultry farming is already well-established, turkey farming is relatively new but has begun to gain traction due to its economic benefits, health-conscious demand, and suitability for local farming conditions.
Current Status of Turkey Husbandry in Bangladesh
In Bangladesh, turkey farming is still in its infancy compared to chicken and duck farming. However, the demand for turkey meat is slowly increasing due to its lower fat content, high protein levels, and perceived health benefits. Some farmers and entrepreneurs are venturing into turkey husbandry, particularly in rural areas, where land availability and natural resources support the growth of this sector.
Economic Viability
Turkey farming has high economic potential because turkeys grow larger than chickens, resulting in more meat per bird. With increasing demand for healthier meat options, particularly among urban consumers, turkey farming presents an opportunity for farmers to tap into a niche but expanding market. Turkeys also require lower maintenance, and their feed can be supplemented with natural vegetation, making them cost-effective to raise.
Challenges in Turkey Farming
One of the main challenges is the lack of technical knowledge and expertise in turkey husbandry. Farmers accustomed to poultry farming need specialized training for turkey rearing. Additionally, access to high-quality turkey breeds and veterinary services remains limited in many parts of Bangladesh. Disease management, proper feeding, and breeding practices are areas that need significant improvement to ensure the sustainability of this sector.
Prospects for Expansion
Despite these challenges, the future of turkey farming in Bangladesh looks promising. Government initiatives and support, coupled with private sector investments, could help boost this sector. Integrating turkey farming with existing poultry operations can provide a diversified source of income for farmers. Additionally, as awareness of turkey meat's health benefits spreads, the demand for it will likely rise, particularly in urban markets.
Conclusion
Turkey husbandry in Bangladesh is at a nascent stage, but with proper investment, training, and support, it has the potential to become a profitable and sustainable industry. Farmers can benefit from this new agricultural venture by catering to the growing demand for healthier, high-protein meat, contributing to both their livelihoods and the nation's agricultural diversification.
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ctbridges · 1 year
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Baby Chicks Playing In Rain
The babies first rainstorm let’s see what they do. ⏱️⏱️Chapters⏱️⏱️00:00 Babies first rainstorm00:20 Dosen’t seem to be bothering them00:35 Put the feeders up so they can’t kick crap into them01:10 So nice the rain is cooling everything down01:30 When I came out Jenny was alarming02:20 Can you see Dropkick’s color03:00 Surprise! I didn’t bring any food03:25 4 of the birds were in a freak…
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margaritaduck · 1 year
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Have a drake and hens
Reach up to 100 fahrenheit in the sun
Ducks get freaky in the pool
Girls lay eggs
It's at least 85 in the coop
Forget to collect for a few days
Collect
Candle the eggs to check for rotten ones
Find two in the first stage of development
Panic
Toss em
Call it abortion
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slytherinslut0 · 10 months
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teasing. | syltherin boy headcanons
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author’s note: based on a request i received. i am feral.
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- your boyfriends reaction to you teasing him under the table at dinner.
Draco Malfoy.
Draco had been in a proper fowl mood all day, and you could tell he was stressed, a clear mixture of a million different things floating through his mind.
You were literally counting down the seconds until you could finally be alone with him, but dinner was fucking dragging.
Sitting next to him, you couldn’t help but to sneak continual glances at him, noting his silver eyes darkened to a deep shade of grey, the tension in his jaw practically palpable as he stared at his plate like he could hex it into another dimension.
Just looking at him made your breath quicken, made your pulse soar.
Of course, part of you empathized with his shitty day, but the other part of you wanted to get on your knees for him right then and there--
because, undeniably so, he’s at his fucking sexiest when he’s pissed.
As Pansy’s chipper voice filled the air, yammering away to a blissfully blazed Zabini, both of them seated across from you and your boyfriend, an idea sparked in your mind.
Without hesitation, you scooted closer to him, subtly enough to not draw any attention to yourself, but enough for Draco to shoot you a side-eyed glance, eyebrow raised.
Feeling his eyes on you, you kept your gaze on your plate as you brushed your hand against his thigh, testing his reaction.
You could practically hear him swallow, could practically feel his body tense, and you’d try not to smirk.
Thrilled, you’d inch your fingers further, tracing small patterns along the middle of his thigh before trailing upwards.
He’d shift on the bench, the veins in his hands tensing as he tightened his grip on his fork.
His reactions would fuel your fire, and you’d keep going, grazing over his crotch, and he’d groan, stifling it with a cough instantly, and that’s when he’d had enough.
Shifting his hand, he’d grasp your thigh, now--with an intensity in his grip so strong you’d almost squeal. A silent warning.
He’d lean in, his voice darker than the midnight sky as he’d whisper, “you’re lucky I have some dignity…but keep it up and I’ll bend you over this fucking table right now, in front of everyone.”
your grin would be unmissable, and you’d only make it another few minutes before he dragged you away from the table and back to his dorm.
Blaise Zabini.
Blaise was literally just eating. And that’s all it took.
That’s all it took for you to want him, to damn-near need him, right then and there.
He’d been flirty with you all morning, making you swoon over his every word with his typical Zabini charm, as though he was still trying to win you over.
You found yourself giggling like a goddamn first year more times than you could even begin to count while he was around, and it drove you crazy, in the best way.
You couldn’t help it, you just always wanted to be near him, kissing him, touching him. He just made you feel that needy. Effortlessly.
And that feeling carried over throughout the entirety of your day, and didn’t falter at dinner. Oh, not even in the slightest.
If anything, it intensified.
Just watching him, in his own little world, focused on his food, casually chiming into the conversation every now and then between bites--it just did something to you. Something you couldn’t explain.
The way the veins in his hands tensed with each movement, the confident aura that surrounded him, regardless of what he was doing, was just fucking intoxicating.
And so, while caught in a moment of both mental and sexual tension, you discreetly placed your hand on his thigh while continuing to eat, feigning innocence as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Blaise looked over, immediately, and you could practically feel the smirk on his lips.
But then, with his typical Zabini composure, he’d go back to eating, letting you keep your hand there.
As you dared to inch higher, he’d seamlessly continue conversing with his friends, as if entirely unaffected by your advances.
The conversation flowed effortlessly, and to anyone else, it’d seem as though nothing out of the ordinary was transpiring.
At this point, you’d be completely convinced that you were enjoying this more than he was.
But then, as you’d get close to his crotch, dangerously close, he’d lean in, his voice so deep it’d send chills down your spine.
“You better stop.”
You’d grin, slowly moving higher, looking at him with innocent eyes. “Or what?”
“You just wait until I get you alone, babygirl…” he’d smirk, wetting his lips. “I’ll get you back real fucking good.”
Lorenzo Berkshire.
Lorenzo bloody Berkshire; your absolutely sexy, tease of a boyfriend.
Earlier, you had been paired together for an assignment in class, which had turned out to be the most infuriating part of your day.
Enzo was relentless in his teasing; partially because he couldn’t keep his fucking hands off of you, but also because he just loved getting a rise out of you.
All class he’d stared at you with those big brown eyes, biting on his fucking lip as he smirked at you, pressing his crotch against your ass as the two of you gathered supplies for the assignment, acting like he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
By dinner, your head was spinning, your nerves were shot, and you were more than determined to get him back.
And you’d do just that; finding your perfect opportunity while he was casually eating, not really paying you much attention.
You’d shift closer to him, resting your chin on your palm as you fixed your gaze on him, smirking a devilish smirk.
“So, Enz, what do you think of the new charms professor?”
You’d inquire, your voice like honey as it slipped past your lips, your fingers brushing against his leg in unison.
As soon as your hand connected with his thigh, he’d freeze, not daring to look at you, but stalling his movements completely, staring down at his plate as though it’d just grown two legs and spoke to him.
You’d grin, pulling your lip between your teeth in an attempt to hide it, watching him as he’d slowly resume his chewing, his breath coming in shallower bursts as you inched higher, excruciatingly slow.
“I-uh…he’s, he’s good-“ he’d stammer, his voice cracking, clearing his throat to mask it. “Thorough.”
“Oh, thorough, huh?” You’d tease, grin widening. “Why don’t you elaborate on that?”
His jaw would tense, his lids fluttering shut for the briefest moment as you grazed his crotch, adding pressure as to really get back at him, to really give him a taste of his own damn medicine.
He’d be flustered, undoubtedly, but he wouldn’t dare stop you, playing it off until he couldn’t take it anymore.
Then he’d lean in, softly setting his fork down as to not arouse any suspicion.
“My dorm, right now.” He’d practically beg. “I fucking need you.”
Mattheo Riddle.
Teasing Mattheo was not something you did, ever.
Because ‘teasing’, with Mattheo Riddle, was not a concept. It simply did not fucking exist.
You’d attempted it a few times, over your months of dating, and each time you’d found yourself either bent over a table, on your knees for him in a way-too-public location, or edged until you fucking cried/begged for release.
Mattheo never failed to let you know that he’d take you whenever and wherever the fuck he pleased.
‘Don’t poke the dragon’ or ‘let sleeping dogs lie’ ; were very much literal phrases when it came to your boyfriend.
and so you made sure not to tempt him, unless absolutely fucking necessary--However, today, it was more than absolutely fucking necessary.
And why was that, you might ask? Two reasons.
First one being that you’d slept in his dorm last night and woke up late late for class; all thanks to him.
Even though you’d made sure to remind him ten bloody times to set the alarm, he’d somehow still managed to ‘forget’.
And the second one was because he just looked so goddamn fucking sexy, and you were displeased with the fact that you didn’t have time for morning sex.
Regardless, as he was picking at his dinner, looking unbelievably exhausted, you took your chances.
You leaned closer to him discreetly, casually placing your hand on his thigh. He’d instantly tense, legs spreading wider almost involuntarily, grip tightening on his fork.
You’d inch higher, excruciatingly slow, nodding to Blaise as he said something to you, causally entertaining the conversation.
Mattheo’s jaw would tighten, so much it’d genuinely look painful, his head bowing toward the table as you slowly moved upwards.
But then, he’d grow tired of your teasing and grab your wrist, hastily moving it to his dick as he huffed, dropping his fork and running his now-free hand through his hair.
You’d be fuelled on, leaning toward his ear to whisper; “I need you so fucking bad, Matty…”
He’d snuff a groan, his nails digging into your wrist as he continued guiding your hand, guiding you in palming him through his trousers.
“You’re going to regret this, princess…” he’d mutter, his voice torn and laced with promise. “Can’t keep your fucking hands off of me, can you?”
You’d increased your movements, feeling him grow unbelievably hard beneath your fingers, and you’d know he wasn’t bluffing.
“I should bend you over right here, show the boys just what a desperate little slut you are for me….”
You’d smirk, snuffing your giggling, and that would be the last straw. He’d drag you up from the table and fuck you in the nearest closet/empty classroom.
Theodore Nott.
You were fucking bored.
So unbelievably bored that you weren’t sure how much more of it you’d be able to take.
The conversations at the table were about nothing of particular significance, and if you had to endure another second of Enzo’s mindless babbling you were certainly going to be sick.
Theo was seated beside you, aimlessly picking at his food, also looking incredibly bored.
It was not unnoticeable that the two of you were about ready to fall asleep on the damn spot.
In a moment of desperation, you turned to your boyfriend, attempting to spark up a conversation.
“So, what are we planning on doing this weekend?”
As Theo looked up, you’d instantly grow warm, his stormy blue eyes swirling with admiration as he glimpsed your lips, his once flat features beginning to soften.
“Can’t speak for you Bella, but know what I have on the to-do list,” he’d murmur, leaning in for a kiss.
Theo was never one to shy away from PDA.
As your lips met in a quick, soft kiss, you’d smile as he slowly pulled back. “Oh, yeah? And what might that be?”
That’s when you’d put your hand on his thigh, slowly trailing it upwards, instantly causing his eyes to darken, his jaw to tighten.
He’d spread his legs wider, inviting you to keep going, and you’d gladly oblige, palming him eagerly as the two of you held eye-contact intense enough to make you dizzy.
he’d smirk, sucking in shallow breaths as he leaned in for another kiss, muttering against your lips;
“You…you, and you again…”
Someone at the table would playfully groan in disgust and tell you two to get a room, and you’d just laugh before Theo agreed and dragged you back to his dorm.
Tom Riddle.
If you had to listen to one more second of Tom Riddle talking about school related topics, you were going to find the nearest bridge and jump. zero hesitation.
You absolutely loved your boyfriend, loved him to fucking death,
but after he’d spent all afternoon drilling transfiguration concepts into your brain, you honestly just wished he’d drill something else into you, instead.
And by the time dinner rolled around, your brain was mashed potatoes, yet Tom remained completely fucking relentless.
In between bites of food he’d ask you to recite the animagus transformation theory, and when you’d undoubtedly get it wrong, he’d sigh, grabbing the book and reading it back to you.
But no matter how many times he’d repeat it, it didn’t fucking matter, your mind was gone, completely elsewhere.
To be more specific, your mind was lost in a sea of your thoughts, thoughts about Tom’s big strong hands gripping your hips, his strong frame towering over you as he-
Gods, this was complete fucking torture, and you needed it to stop, right now.
Loosening your tie around your neck, you glimpsed him, watching his dark eyes scan the page, watching his long fingers as he pointed at what he was reading to you,
As you undid a few of the buttons on your blouse, your hand fell gracefully, landing on his thigh for support as you leaned over him, looking down at the book,
“Can you repeat that part for me again, Tom?…” you’d murmur, voice a slow drawl, failing to hide your smirk as your felt him tense. “Silly me…I don’t think I heard you correctly…”
Tom would know exactly what you were doing, and at first he’d try to play it off, clearing his throat as he tried to decipher where the fuck he’d left off.
But then, as you continued to inch higher, grazing his crotch, he’d groan, slamming the book shut.
“For Merlin’s sake, you’re a needy little slut, aren’t you?” He’d hiss, the annoyance in his tone mingling with amusement.
“Let’s go before I bend you over the fucking table.”
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kedreeva · 9 months
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Today in measuring your peahen, Bug is casually 2 foot, 3 inches tall (she can stretch a little taller when she REALLY wants a treat). This is just tall enough to see over a tray table and pull things off of nightstands and end cabinets.
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Bug is also a little over 3 feet long from tail tip to beak tip. Most of Bug is made up of tail and neck. There is a 6lb dead weight in the middle somewhere that she knows how to directly place onto the ball of one foot while standing on you.
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Bug's wingspan is around 3.5 feet, thought I didn't get a measurement. It will be over 4 feet as an adult.
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Bug is growing in her spurs. As a Spalding (hybrid) hen, Bug will likely have one inch bone knives conveniently attached to her tarsometatarsus. This is technically fused foot bones, not a leg bone. Curiously, pure Pavo cristatus hens have spurs, and pure Pavo muticus hens have spurs, but many domestic Pavo cristatus and low-percent Spalding hens lack them. This is one of the indications of domestication in the cristatus species. As I prefer the wild type, I prefer my hens spurred, so this is a good sign!
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Bug's toes measure a smidge over 5 inches from the tip of her rear-facing to to the tip of her longest front facing toe. Try measuring that on your hand.
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Bug's nails measure 1/2-3/4 an inch long, depending on the toe. That's almost as long as one finger section for most people.
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When I had snakes, I got asked all the time if I was afraid of them biting me. The answer is no. I have been bitten by a 6 foot long, 20lb boa constrictor, and have no scars to prove it. Meanwhile I have so many scars from peafowl sitting on me, particularly on my forearms, that I have had to reassure people I am not a danger to myself.
I post these photos as a reference, but also as a precaution. This is a BABY peafowl, and a female at that. She is only 6 months old and weighs a little over 6lbs, which means she's about 2/3 of the way grown, and adult hens are typically 3/4 the size of an adult male. These are BIG birds that can do a LOT of damage, even accidentally. When they become aggressive, as in the case of hand-raised males or poorly bred birds, they become a potentially fatal threat to any other fowl you have. Unlike chickens, they are more than capable of (and prone to!) jumping to human face level before they flog (kick with their feet in a way that allows their spurs to hit home), which means they could easily take out an eye or cause other serious facial injury if they get a lucky strike. I have seen more than a few people end up with stitches, and more than a few birds end up euthanized because people think they are gonna be cute cuddly friends.
I know that Bug is a cute bird, but I also want to stress that a) she has an outstanding personality as a result of breeding choices and socialization b) she hasn't hit maturity, and won't do so for another 2+ years, so her personality could change considerably still and c) I have been raising peafowl one way or another for my entire adult life, which has been structured around keeping them. I love my birds, and I would love for more people to keep peafowl as they are great animals, but they are not casual animals. They are large and potentially dangerous farm fowl that take a lot of space, care, and knowledge to keep.
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foldingfittedsheets · 5 months
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I'm sorry a TURKEY did WHAT to your mother's contact lens?? HOW??????
Right, yeah. So we had this turkey when I was growing up. And we raised this fucker from a tiny little baby, hand fed him, just doted on him. He was our first turkey ever. My mom called him Tom.
One day, she needed to work in a pasture so the flock of assorted fowl, (chickens, geese, and Tom) needed to be gently herded into an auxiliary pasture for the time being. The geese were biddable enough, the chickens ran ahead.
But Tom was not feeling it. He puffed up in irritation and my mom leaned down with her arms spread to usher Tom through the gate. Tom parked it. He turned to regard my mom with avian malice. And as she leaned down he shot out his horrible bald head and pecked her eye.
My mom screamed and fell backward, flailing enough that Tom fled through the gate anyway. When she recovered herself she came back inside, shaken and furious.
She checked out her eye and found it miraculously undamaged after the assault. It was like an hour later when she realized her contact lens was missing and the whole family speculated that it had saved her eye from Tom’s attack.
Tom did not live to see another sunrise.
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tommykinard6 · 1 month
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See, I’ve always loved the incident with Maurice and seeing Tommy flail around is so funny. The idea of him having a perpetual fear of fowl after that is amazing but let me raise you this.
The first time Evan goes over to Tommy’s, the day after an energetic night together, he goes downstairs and looks into the backyard for the first time and sees a chicken coop, his boyfriend feeding the old and hobbling rooster inside. And this is how Evan meets Maurice, old and blind in one eye but already alive longer than the projected lifespan of roosters at nearly 9. Evan watches as Maurice rests on Tommy’s lap as his boyfriend tells the story.
Tommy has always been an animal person, but never got to keep pets as a kid. When they broke up the cockfighting ring, Tommy had gone to see the skittish rooster at the animal sanctuary. And maybe it was silly to other people but something about the rooster spoke to him. Maurice was an innocent, trapped in a bad situation and manipulated into something he wasn’t by nature. And now he was uprooted from his home and didn’t understand what was happening around him.
Tommy knew the feeling.
Maurice never quite left his mind. The day after Sal left, Tommy finally went back and adopted him.
Because Tommy might have felt ridiculous for it, but things were shifting at the 118 and he was starting to find that he was restless. He needed a change. And he thought that just maybe, he and Maurice could have better together.
So Maurice took to the lawn in Tommy’s backyard and Tommy took to the skies.
Together, they were free.
At the end of the tale, Tommy watches as Evan smoothes a finger over the top of Maurice’s head and tells him, “He’s bitten everyone I’ve ever dated. But he likes you.”
And the acceptance of an aging rooster makes something settle pleasantly in Evan’s chest and he leans forward to kiss Tommy, careful not to disturb Maurice too much.
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valtsv · 1 year
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it's easy enough to hatch a basilisk but nobody talks about the identity crisis your basilisk is going to have when it grows up and realizes that despite being born from a chicken's egg and raised by a toad it's neither amphibian nor fowl but something else entirely
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lsdoiphin · 10 months
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Foods of Vestur
@broncoburro and @chocodile provoked me into doing some illustrated worldbuilding for Forever Gold ( @forevergoldgame ), an endeavor I was happy to undertake. Unbeknownst to me, it would take the better part of a week to draw.
In the process, I conjured about an essay's worth of fantasy food worldbuilding, but I'm going to try and keep things digestible (pardon my pun). Lore under the cut:
The Middle Kingdom
The Middle Kingdom has ample land, and its soil, landscapes, and temperate climate are amenable to growing a variety of crops and raising large quantities of livestock. The Midland palate prefers fresh ingredients with minimal seasoning; if a dish requires a strong taste, a cook is more likely to reach for a sharp cheese than they are to open their spice drawer. Detractors of Middle Kingdom cuisine describe it as bland, but its flavor relies on the quality of its components more than anything.
KEY CROPS: wheat, potatoes, carrots, green beans, apples, pears, and grapes KEY LIVESTOCK: Midland goats, fowl, and hogs
ROAST FOWL: Cheap and easy to raise, fowl is eaten all over Vestur and by all classes. Roasted whole birds are common throughout, but the Middle Kingdom's approach to preparation is notable for their squeamish insistence on removing the head and neck before roasting, even among poorer families. Fowl is usually roasted on a bed of root vegetables and shallots and served alongside gravy and green beans.
GOAT RIBEYE: Vestur does not have cattle – instead it has a widely diversified array of goats, the most prominent being the Middle Kingdom's own Midland goat. The Midland goat is a huge caprid that fills the same niche as cattle, supplying Vestur with meat and dairy products. Chevon from the Midland goat is tender with a texture much like beef, though it retains a gamier, “goat-ier” taste. It is largely eaten by the wealthy, though the tougher and cheaper cuts can be found in the kitchens of the working class. Either way, it is almost always served with gravy. (You may be sensing a pattern already here. Midlanders love their gravy.)
FETTUCCINE WITH CHEESE: Noodles were brought to the Middle Kingdom through trade with the South and gained popularity as a novel alternative to bread. The pasta of Midland Vestur is largely eaten with butter or cream sauce; tomato or pesto sauces are seldom seen.
CHARCUTERIE WITH WINE: Charcuterie is eaten for the joy of flavors rather than to satiate hunger, and therefore it is mainly eaten by the upper class. It is commonly eaten alongside grape wine, a prestigious alcohol uniquely produced by the Middle Kingdom. The flavor of grape wine is said to be more agreeable than the other wines in Vestur, though Southern pineapple wine has its share of defenders.
BREAD WITH JAM AND PRESERVES, TEA SANDWICHES, & ROSETTE CAKE: Breads and pastries are big in the Middle Kingdom. The Middle Kingdom considers itself the world leader in the art of baking. Compared to its neighbors, the baked goods they make are soft, light, and airy and they are proud of it. Cakes in particular are a point of ego and a minor source of mania among nobility; it is a well-established cultural joke that a Middle Kingdom noble cannot suffer his neighbor serving a bigger, taller cake. The cakes at Middle Kingdom parties can reach nauseatingly wasteful and absurdist heights, and there is no sign of this trend relenting any time soon.
CHOWDER, FARMER'S POT PIE, GRIDDLECAKES, EGGS, CURED MEATS: If you have the means to eat at all in the Middle Kingdom, you are probably eating well. Due to the Midland's agricultural strength, even peasant dishes are dense and filling. Eggs and cured meats are abundant, cheaper, and more shelf stable than fresh cuts and provide reprieve from the unending wheat and dairy in the Midland diet.
STEWED APPLES AND PEARS, JAM AND PRESERVES: The Midland grows a number of different fruits, with apples and pears being the most plentiful. In a good year, there will be more fruit than anyone knows what to do with, and so jams and preserves are widely available. Stewed fruit has also gained popularity, especially since trade with the Southern Kingdom ensures a stable supply of sugar and cinnamon.
NORTHERN KINGDOM - SETTLED
The Northern Kingdom is a harsh and unforgiving land. Historically, its peoples lived a nomadic life, but since the unification of the Tri-Kingdom more and more of the Northern population have opted to live a settled life. The “settled North” leads a hard life trying to make agriculture work on the tundra, but it is possible with the help of green meur. The Northern palate leans heavily on preserved and fermented foods as well as the heat from the native tundra peppers. Outsiders often have a hard time stomaching the salt, tang, and spice of Northern cuisine and it is widely considered “scary.”
KEY CROPS: potatoes, beets, carrots, tundra pepper KEY LIVESTOCK: wooly goats, hares*
GOAT POT ROAST: Life up north is hard work and there is much to be done in a day. Thus, slow cooked one-pot meals that simmer throughout the day are quite common.
VENISON WITH PICKLES: Game meat appears in Northern dishes about as much as farmed meat – or sometimes even more, depending on the location. Even “classier” Northern dishes will sometimes choose game meat over domesticated, as is the case with the beloved venison with pickles. Cuts of brined venison are spread over a bed of butter-fried potato slices and potent, spicy pickled peppers and onions. The potatoes are meant to cut some of the saltiness of the dish, but... most foreigners just say it tastes like salt, vinegar, and burning.
MINER STEW: While outsiders often have a hard time distinguishing miner stew from the multitude of beet-tinged stews and pot roasts, the taste difference is unmistakable. Miner's stew is a poverty meal consisting of pickles and salt pork and whatever else is might be edible and available. The end result is a sad bowl of scraps that tastes like salt and reeks of vinegar. The popular myth is that the dish got its name because the Northern poor began putting actual rocks in it to fill out the meal, which... probably never happened, but facts aren't going to stop people from repeating punchy myths.
RYE TOAST WITH ONION JAM: Rye is hardier than wheat, and so rye bread is the most common variety in the North. Compared to Midland bread, Northern bread is dense and gritty. It is less likely to be enjoyed on its own than Midland bread, both because of its composition and because there's less to put on it. Unless you've the money to import fruit spreads from further south, you're stuck with Northern jams such as onion or pepper jam. Both have their appreciators, but bear little resemblance to the fruit and berry preserves available elsewhere in Vestur.
HARE DAIRY: Eating hare meat is prohibited in polite society due to its association with the haretouched and heretical nomadic folk religions, but hare dairy is fair game. Hare cheese ranges from black to plum in color, is strangely odorless, and has a pungent flavor akin to a strong blue cheese. It is the least contentious of hare milk products. Hare milk, on the other hand, is mildly toxic. If one is not acclimated to hare milk, drinking it will likely make them “milk sick” and induce vomiting. It is rarely drunk raw, and is instead fermented into an alcoholic drink similar to kumis.
MAPLE HARES AND NOMAD CANDY: Maple syrup is essentially the only local sweetener available in the North, and so it is the primary flavor of every Northern dessert. Simple maple candies are the most common type of sweet, though candied tundra peppers – known as “nomad candy” – is quite popular as well. (Despite its name, nomad candy is an invention of the settled North and was never made by nomads.)
TUNSUKH: Tunsukh is one of the few traditions from the nomadic era still widely (and openly) practiced among Northern nobility. It is a ceremonial dinner meant as a test of strength and endurance between political leaders: a brutally spiced multi-course meal, with each course being more painful than the last. Whoever finishes the dinner with a stoic, tear-streaked face triumphs; anyone who cries out in pain or reaches for a glass of milk admits defeat. “Dessert” consists of a bowl of plain, boiled potatoes. After the onslaught of tunsukh, it is sweeter than any cake.
NORTHERN KINGDOM – NOMADIC NORTH
Although the Old Ways are in decline, the nomadic clans still live in the far North beyond any land worth settling. They travel on hareback across the frozen wasteland seeking “meur fonts” - paradoxical bursts of meur that erupt from the ice and provide momentary reprieve from the harsh environment. The taste of nomad food is not well documented.
KEY CROPS: N/A KEY LIVESTOCK: hares
PEMMICAN: Nomadic life offers few guarantees. With its caloric density and functionally indefinite “shelf life,” pemmican is about as close as one can get.
SEAL, MOOSE: Meat comprises the vast majority of the nomadic diet and is eaten a variety of ways. Depending on the clan, season, and availability of meur fonts, meat may be cooked, smoked, turned to jerky, or eaten raw. Moose and seal are the most common sources of meat, but each comes with its own challenges. Moose are massive, violent creatures and dangerous to take down even with the aid of hares; seals are slippery to hunt and only live along the coasts.
WANDER FOOD, WANDER STEW: When a green meur font appears, a lush jungle springs forth around it. The heat from red meur fonts may melt ice and create opportunities for fishing where there weren't before. Any food obtained from a font is known as “wander food.” Wander food is both familiar and alien; the nomads have lived by fonts long enough to know what is edible and what is not, but they may not know the common names or preparation methods for the food they find. Fish is simple enough to cook, but produce is less predictable. Meur fonts are temporary, and it's not guaranteed that you'll ever find the same produce twice - there is little room to experiment and learn. As a result, a lot of wander food is simply thrown into a pot and boiled into “wander stew,” an indescribable dish which is different each time.
CENVAVESH: When a haretouched person dies, their hare is gripped with the insatiable compulsion to eat its former companion... therefore, it is only proper to return the favor. Barring injury or illness, a bonded hare will almost always outlive its bonded human, and so the death of one's hare is considered a great tragedy among nomads. The haretouched – and anyone they may invite to join them – sits beside the head of their hare as they consume as much of its rib and organ meat as they can. Meanwhile, the rest of the clan processes the remainder of the hare's carcass so that none of it goes to waste. It is a somber affair that is treated with the same gravity as the passing of a human. Cenvavesh is outlawed as a pagan practice in the settled North.
HARE WINE: While fermented hare's milk is already alcoholic, further fermentation turns it into a vivid hallucinogen. This “hare wine” is used in a number of nomad rituals, most notably during coming of age ceremonies. Allegedly, it bestows its drinker with a hare's intuition and keen sense of direction... of course, truth is difficult to distinguish from fiction when it comes to the Old Ways.
SOUTHERN KINGDOM
The Southern Kingdom is mainly comprised of coast, wetland, and ever-shrinking jungle. While the land is mostly unfit for large-scale agriculture, seafood is plentiful and the hot climate is perfect for exorbitant niche crops. What they can't grow, they obtain easily through trade. Southerners have a reputation for eating anything, as well as stealing dishes from other cultures and “ruining” them with their own interpretations. KEY CROPS: plantains, sweet potato, pineapple, mango, guava, sugarcane KEY LIVESTOCK: fowl, marsh hogs, seals
GLAZED EEL WITH FRIED PLANTAINS: A very common configuration for Southern food is a glazed meat paired with a fried vegetable. It almost doesn't matter which meat and which vegetable it is – they love their fried food and they love their sweet and salty sauces in the South. Eel is a culturally beloved meat, much to the shock and confusion of visiting Midlanders.
NARWHAL STEW: Narwhal stew is the South's “anything goes” stew. It does not actually contain narwhal meat, as they are extinct (though the upper class may include dolphin meat as a protein) – instead, the name comes from its traditional status as a “forever soup,” as narwhals are associated with the passage of time in Southern culture. Even in the present day, Southern monasteries tend massive, ever-boiling pots of perpetual stew in order to feed the monks and sybils who live there. Narwhal stew has a clear kelp-based broth and usually contains shellfish. Beyond that, its ingredients are extremely varied. Noodles are a popular but recent addition.
FORAGE: The dish known as “forage” is likewise not foraged, or at least, it hasn't been forage-based in a good hundred years at least. Forage is a lot like poke; it's a little bit of everything thrown into a bowl. Common ingredients include fish (raw or cooked), seaweed, fried noodles, marinated egg, and small quantities of fruit.
HOT POT: Hot pot is extremely popular, across class barriers, in both the South proper and its enclave territories. This is due to its extreme flexibility - if it can be cooked in a vat of boiling broth, it will be. Crustaceans and shellfish are common choices for hot pot in the proper South, along with squid, octopus, mushrooms, and greens.
FLATBREAD: The Southern Kingdom doesn't do much baking. The vast majority of breads are fried, unleavened flatbreads, which are usually eaten alongside soups or as wraps. Wraps come in both savory and sweet varieties; savory wraps are usually stuffed with shredded pork and greens while sweet wraps – which are much more expensive – are filled with fruit and seal cheese.
GRILLED SKEWERS, ROAST SWEET POTATO: While a novel concept for Midlanders and Northerners, street food has long been a part of Southern Kingdom culture. You would be hard pressed to find a Southern market that didn't have at least three vendors pushing grilled or fried something or other. Skewers are the most common and come in countless configurations, but roast sweet potatoes are a close second.
CUT FRUIT AND SEAL CHEESE: Fresh fruit is popular in the South, both local and imported. While delicious on its own, Southerners famously pair it with seal cheese. Which leads me to an important topic of discussion I don't have room for anywhere else...
THE SOUTH AND CHEESE: Since the South doesn't have much in the way of dairy farming, cheese is somewhat rare in their cuisine – but it is present. And important. Cheese is the domain of the Church. Common goat dairy imported from the Middle Kingdom is turned to cheese by monks in Southern monasteries and sold to the Southern public, yes, but as you have noticed there is another cheese prominent in the Southern Kingdom diet: seal cheese. Seal cheese is unlike anything else that has ever been called cheese; the closest it can be compared to is mascarpone. It is is a soft, creamy cheese with a mild flavor and an indulgent fat content. It is used almost exclusively as a dessert, though it is only ever mildly sweetened if at all. It is extremely costly and held in high regard; the most religious Southerners regard it as holy. Dairy seals are a very rare animal and raised exclusively in a small number of Cetolist-Cerostian monasteries, where they are tended and milked by the monks. Due to their status as a holy animal, eating seal meat is forbidden. Eating their cheese and rendering their tallow into soap is fine though.
(HEARTLAND SOUTH) SOUTH-STYLE GOAT: The Heartland South is a Southern enclave territory in the Middle Kingdom. Visiting Midland dignitaries oft wrongly assume that because the Heartland South is in Middle Kingdom territory, Heartland Southerners eat the same food they do exactly as they do. They are horrified to find that familiar sounding dishes like “goat with potatoes” are completely and utterly unrecognizable, drenched in unfamiliar sauces and spices and served alongside fruit they've never eaten. Meanwhile, Heartland Southerners firmly believe that they have fixed the Middle Kingdom's boring food.
(BOREAL SOUTH) “TUNSUKH”: If Midlanders are afraid of Heartland Southern food, Northerners are absolutely furious about cuisine from the Boreal South - the most legendarily offensive being the Boreal South's idea of “tunsukh.” Southerners are no stranger to spice, so when Southern traders began interacting with the North, they liked tunsukh! It's just... they thought it needed a little Southern help to become a real meal, you know? A side of seal cheese soothed the burn and made the meal enjoyable. And because the meal was enjoyable, the portion sizes increased. And plain boiled potatoes? Well, those are a little too plain – creamy mashed sweet potato feels like more of a dessert, doesn't it? ...For some reason, Northerners didn't agree, but that's okay. The Boreal South knows they're just embarrassed they didn't think of pairing seal cheese with tunsukh sooner.
ARMY RATIONS
The food eaten by the King's Army is about what you would expect for late 1700s military; salt pork or salt chevon, hard tack, and coffee. The biggest divergence they have is also one of Vestur's biggest points of pride: they have the means to supply their troops with frivolous luxuries like small tins of candied fruit from the Midland. A love of candied fruit is essentially a Vesturian military proto-meme; proof that they serve the greatest Tri-Kingdom on the planet. Don't get between a military man and his candied fruit unless you want a fight.
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