#RIGHT AFTER BEING SO FUCKING BUTTHURT

[stillbreathing-aer]

"i don't understand why you're so upset about his death" HUH?????? WHAT???? LAURANCE???? WHAT???? WOAH BUD THIS IS TOO FAR BRO.

[youmakethelight]

Also, I'm gonna say it. I'm glad my girl had a sexually fulfilling 6-year relationship. I love that for her.

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[prettyshittywriting]

surprising billie on tour and eating her like lunch😋 (not really this is just fluffy and cute! it was originally meant to be smut but I noticed how bad I am at smut so fluff it is)

billie eilish x fem reader PART1

PART2 ⬇️⬇️

You and Billie had been dating for a few years, and everything had been going great. Recently, her tour had started, and you’d been seeing her less and less. You were obviously a bit butthurt, but you couldn’t blame her. She had even offered for you to come with her, but due to complications with your job, you couldn't get time off.

Little did she know, you had finally gotten a few weeks off and could surprise her after a month apart. A month wasn’t that long, but after being used to seeing each other every day, it was definitely a change. Instead of telling her, you thought it would be more fun to just show up.

After confirming with her team and getting her hotel room number, you got on a plane and set off to see your girlfriend who you dearly missed. A few hours later, you landed in the country where she was touring, grabbed a cab, and made your way to her hotel. You knew she had about an hour before she would be back from her concert.

Once you got into her room, you slipped into the sluttiest lingerie you could find—something that left virtually nothing to the imagination. You lit a few candles and ran a bath for her, assuming she’d be exhausted after performing. Then, as you were scrolling on your phone, you heard the door open.

There she was.

She was shocked but immediately lit up with excitement. You didn’t waste a second before running up and jumping into her arms. She laughed, holding you tight, her voice breathless as she tried to process your surprise.

“How are you here?” she asked, her eyes flickering between your face and, well, everywhere else that was exposed.

You barely had time to answer before she was guiding you both toward the bed, pulling you close and kissing you like she’d been starving for your touch. Her hands explored every inch of you, her lips trailing soft kisses down your jaw as you shivered beneath her touch.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” she whispered against your neck, her breath warm and full of longing.

You smiled, cupping her face and gently tilting her head up so you could look into her deep, ocean-blue eyes. “I missed you too, beautiful. So much.” you murmured, brushing your thumb over her cheek. “But I know you’re tired, and I ran you a bath. Why don’t you relax first?”

She groaned, burying her face in your neck dramatically. “But you look so fucking good right now. ” she whined, her fingers drawing lazy circles on your hips.

You chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “And I’ll still be here after your bath, I promise. Let me take care of you, Bils.”

She pouted but finally gave in, her exhaustion winning over her stubbornness. With a deep sigh, she pulled back and nodded. “Fine, but only if you come with me.”

You smirked, taking her hands and guiding her toward the bathroom. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As you both slipped into the warm water, she immediately pulled you into her arms, resting her head on your shoulder with a content sigh. “This is perfect.” she murmured, pressing a lazy kiss to your collarbone.

You smiled, running your fingers through her damp hair. “I’m just happy to be here with you.”

She tightened her arms around you, her voice soft and full of love. “You always know exactly what I need.”

And in that moment, wrapped up in each other, the distance didn’t matter anymore. Because you were finally home.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆yall wtv this is ass honestly I started the smut version while listening to lunch but my friend called it corny so I just did this but this is still bad😭😭

☆anyway hope you still somehow enjoy

☆feel free 2 leave requests!! (please I'm bored out of my mind and idk what 2 write!!)

[lagunned]

I'LL GET EVEN, dave mustaine.

pinned rules masterlist

pairing; modern!dave mustaine x fem!reader

summary; dave is angry at a producer and comes home, just wanting to see you. you have other plans, deciding to join in on a couple tiktok trend—he doesn’t find it as funny as you do.

warnings; very fluffy, modern era but with 1980s dave, slight cussing, no use of y/n, mentions of toxic masculinity, dave gets butthurt, tough boy isn’t so tough anymore. if im missing anything else let me know!

word count; 750

requests open, not proofread, based on this ask.

You never thought you’d see the day when Dave Mustaine—the snarling, sharp-tongued leader of Megadeth, the same man who wrote lyrics about death and betrayal—would be curled up in your arms like an overgrown cat. But here he was, his spiralling, copper curls a mess against your chest, his breath warm against your collarbone, completely unaware that he was currently being recorded, despite your quiet, hushed giggles that left your soft lips. He was so fucking tired he didn't even think anything of it: his first mistake.

It had started out as an innocent cuddle session. He’d come home after hours in the studio, grumbling about producers who didn’t “get” his sound, and immediately toppled onto you like a weighted blanket. You knew better than to say anything at first—Dave was a like cat in human form; if you pointed out that he was being affectionate, he’d immediately "hiss" and pretend he wasn’t. So you just let him rest, lazily running your fingers through his hair while his arm draped possessively over your waist, his strong, calloused thumb stroking the hem of your pants.

That’s when the idea struck.

With your phone angled just right, you hit record, keeping your voice soft, teasing. This will fucking get him. You knew he wasn't active on social media, let alone TikTok. And you loved your pranks—rather, you loved to push your boyfriend’s buttons.

“Who's my good boy?” you cooed, fingers tracing light patterns on his back.

A sleepy mumble; “...Me.”

Your grin nearly split your face into two. Got him.

“Yeah? My bestest boy?”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, nuzzling closer into your warm neck.

You held back a laugh, heart melting at how completely relaxed he was. This was the Dave most people didn’t get to see—the one who craved softness, who would willingly tangle his limbs with yours just to feel safe for a while. The one that just yearned for intimacy and love, and admiration. Even if he didn't admit it. His gentleness with you proved it right—despite what the people had to say in the media. It was all bullshit.

Then, as if some internal alarm sounded, his whole body suddenly stiffened against you. Uh-oh…

“Wait,” he muttered. You felt the pause; the slow, tired wheels turning in his brain. He lifted his head slightly, hazel eyes squinting in suspicion. “The fuck did you just say?”

You bit your lip, trying not to giggle. “I said, ‘Who’s my good boy?’”

His brows furrowed. Then his eyes flickered to your hand—manicured nails clasped around your phone. His domestic, exhausted eyes met his own within your phone. What the fuck was wrong with you—on every level. Mentally, emotionally, physically—hell, spiritually. You don’t do that shit to thee Dave Mustaine!

“…Are you recording this?”

“Maybe.”

Dave shot up faster than a rocket and you barely had time to react before his tall frame was towering over you, his expression caught somewhere between betrayal and damage control. No, no, no, no—fuck no!

“Delete it.” His voice was gruff now, like you’d just walked in on him playing with kittens and he was scrambling to reassert dominance. He had an image to uphold—both with the fans and you. “Right fucking now.”

You pouted. “But you were soooo cute.”

"I’m not cute,” he grumbled, already crawling back into his toxic masculinity shell. He ran a hand through his thick golden hair, shoulders straightening, jaw clenching. “I’m fucking dangerous."

You tilted your head, still recording. Your phone shook as you held back a laugh. “Oh? Who’s my big, strong, dangerous boy?”

A muscle twitched in his cheek as a vein popped in his forehead. Dave pointed at your phone. “I swear to God—”

But before he could finish, you gave him the look. The one that said, I’ll stop recording if you just play along for two more seconds, pretty, pretty please sweetheart.

Dave groaned, rubbing his face. You could tell he was so done with your antics. And then, with the deepest, most reluctant sigh you'd probably had ever heard from his lips, he muttered under his breath:

“…Me.”

You burst out laughing, nearly dropping your phone in the process—but you relentlessly gripped it for dear life. Gotcha!

Dave, realizing what he just did, let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a feral growl before launching himself at you, trying to snatch your phone from your iron grip.

“You’re fucking dead,” he grumbled, burying his face in your neck, but the warmth of his arms tightening around you told you otherwise. Dave even shocked himself sometimes, it's like his heart reacts before his head. The little things made him realize that he truly was infatuated with you. Inside and out, no matter how cruel you may be. You took to him when no one else did.

And maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind being your "good" boy after all.

© lagunned (2025—) all rights reserved.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

It’s hilarious how Vaggie made herself a ‘sinner’.

How that linked her up with Charlie is such a weird, round about truthful way, even when she was lying by omission about it.

And how amazingly dumb it all makes Adam and Lute look.

Thousands of helpless souls killed by her, but she didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ until she wondered if what she was doing was right. The divine powers in her life only took her wings and condemned her to hell after she doubted their orders, their idea of justice, and quietly chose not to completely follow them.

“You fucked up” they tell her “your mistake” she “left the band” “tried for a solo career". It’s so pathetic. They're so butthurt over the idea of one of their own having a mind of her own.

It’s also so funny, because they spin her simple act of whispering “Go, run. Now!” to demon kid she’d been holding at spear point like it was big defiant move- which makes it into one- even though she never challenged them openly, or threatened them.

Hell, Lute’s “You always were weak” plus exorcist Vaggie always frowning while her murder sisters all grin with glee as they kill sinners- it paints a picture of Vaggie never having been as into exterminations as she ‘should’ have been. Too weak to be a proper exorcist no matter how good at killing she was, not just “the traitor” but also “the failure”.

And she was scared of that. She didn’t want anyone seeing her spare that child, whispered her words to them in a back alley, out of sight.

She was scared of what would happen and didn’t even fight it when Lute took her eye and wings- she was scared and no threat in any tangible way, but apparently refusing to do one single murder is enough to freak Adam and Lute the fuck out.

One woman. Doesn’t do exactly what she’s told. After who knows how many decades of being one of the “top girls” at murder, a “bad bitch” named after “the best thing ever”, and they still get spooked by that tiny moment when she wasn’t under their total control. Like it's such a betrayal to them, her daring to so much as think this level of violence isn’t justified actually, and for a split second act on that thought.

It’s an instant ticket to ousting her from the exorcists AND from heaven, while they fly the fuck off again.

“If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky-”

and they do. After doing that to one of their own. They did that, to someone who was supposedly meant to be in heaven. They didn’t wait for divine justice- took it, and her eye, and her wings, and her halo, into their own hands and tore them away from her. Then happily, they spend the next three years up in heaven, slurping smoothies and doing more murder sprees.

until Vaggie comes strolling back with the princess of hell, there supporting her girlfriend and the idea that all the shit she did for so long really was and IS wrong.

oh and Adam and Lute are pisssssssed about it. They take her being there PERSONALLY, wanna solve it with VIOLENCE

She hurts them without even trying. Without even noticing they're there.

They're told to fix the princess of hell situation and they have no concept of forgiveness, of caring about sinners, so they guess (rightly) that Vaggie hasn't told Charlie about her past and bet (wrongly) that Charlie would never forgive her if she knew, and also assumed (rightly) that Vaggie would be terrified of that

But they don't get that she's scared of hurting Charlie. Of Charlie being hurt by her. It's a selfless thing. That's her whole PROBLEM.

Her running to hold Charlie after the reveal- her NOT breaking down when Charlie takes alone time in the aftermath, respecting that right up until she thinks Charlie's actively in danger- afraid FOR Charlie when the deal with Alastor is made, no crumbling that Charlie went to someone else for help, when being helpful to Charlie is basically her raison d'étre- agreeing to go alone to an overlord, after learning she can DIE and THIS OVERLORD knows how to do it- all this for the sake of Charlie's dream, their shared goal, their hotel. Their friends, resigned to despair in the hotel lobby, losing hope and maybe hours away from losing their lives

No shit she was never going to bow down to the blackmail?? It'd be like turning herself inside out. Charlie isn't just some "little hottie" or whatever, they're partners. They're in this together. Even when Charlie out loud doubts if that's true, it still is.

Lute and Adam don't GET what it means, that Charlie assumed Vaggie was a sinner already. That the thing she'd be hurt about was the lying, not the murder. She was scared of not really being loved by Vaggie- of everything else wonderful between them being a lie too, all that support and faith empty empty- she wasn't afraid of loving Vaggie, whoever Vaggie had been, she was afraid of who Vaggie might be now and that she'd never really believed in Charlie at all.

Charlie was angry at the thought that Vaggie didn't think she would've accepted her. The idea of not really being understood or trusted by Vaggie, that's what hurt.

And it goes against everything Lute and Adam are, Charlie actually caring about sinners while knowing what they've done- about an exorcist after finding out who they'd been- really trusting that people can change. Lute and Adam hear her say it and see her stand up for it and they just want her to shut up and die

again though, no shit she was going to stick with Vaggie after the truth came out, in the end. Once she had a moment to take a breath and step out of her head long enough for a reality check

Vaggie didn’t say to Charlie what she'd done or who she'd been. But she’s been and keeps doing what she can to follow that idea, unvoiced, from that day when she couldn’t kill a sinner- something Charlie didn't know about but now knows must have happened- A final death means no second chance and no worth as a person, but Vaggie didn’t think that, even before meeting Charlie she didn't think that.

She's always been on Charlie's side. They were on the same side before they ever set eyes on each other. All this time, for three whole years, and now she's off to go find a way to protect everything they've built together.

"-words are cheap, but actions, they speak the truth"

Charlie never really stopped trusting her. Maybe she wondered if she should, but even then, she had Vaggie go to Carmilla to find the key that might save them all.

"She killed an exorcist in the last extermination. She knows how they can be harmed."

"But… I- I didn't even know that was possible."

"If you did, would you have told me?"

So Charlie asked. A pretty painful thing to say- and she said it even as she sent an angel to go find out a way to hurt other angels.

She DID trust that Vaggie WOULD tell her.

The irony of all this happening thanks to Adam and Lute trying to keep it from happening, and all of it leading up to Vaggie getting back part of what they took from her, because now she doesn't need them or heaven to be an angel anymore.

Charlie has faith in her. Enough to send her off on an important mission even after Vaggie hurt her- and send her right to the person who end up helping Vaggie get back her wings.

“The rules are shades of gray when you don’t do as you say”

Vaggie’s new fucking wings are gray when Lute sees them. When Vaggie’s standing over her, sparing her life, her wings and that one, fucking unexplained stripe separating her from the other exorcists, all of it is GRAY.

That visual gut punch of, you’re. Fucking. Wrong. You’re wrong about sinners, you’re wrong about supposedly protecting heaven, you’re wrong thinking you can just DO this shit. That imagery of an angel who DIDN’T stay in the sky because she DIDN’T think being angel meant everything she did had to be right- who’s here in hell, trying to protect sinners from heaven’s slaughter-

And Lute wanted Vaggie to “correct” HER “mistake”? Vaggie’s???

That’s Lute, admitting that people in hell can get second chances and make up for what they did. Admitting that “Sinful filth” like Vaggie can be redeemed in some way, by following Lute’s version of what’s right.

But wasn’t her and Adam’s whole thing the idea of blowing your shot? Getting no other chance after it?  

Oh yeah. Vaggie doesn’t believe that though. Not for sinners like her, not for angels like her.

She let’s Lute live. She does it to make Lute suffer, but there are a lot of ways to make someone suffer- an eye for an eye for example- and Vaggie chooses the one that doesn’t hurt Lute more than it has to, that leaves her alive, and leaves Lute’s suffering to be something completely of Lute’s own making (a HELL of Lute's own making, if you will) (Lute choosing to tear her OWN arm off to continue the fight-).

She's totally dismissive of the woman who was just going after her remaining eye like a dog after a bone.

Why is it that nothing Adam and Lute to do her matters?

Why don’t THEY matter to her at all?

Walking right past them, being so done with them up in heaven, not caving to the blackmail, only being worried about Charlie afterwards, not letting that crack in their relationship stop her from doing what she can for their hotel, Lute threatening to take her other eye and BLIND her just making her snark- even the vague threat to Charlie only gives Vaggie the oomf she needed to defend herself.

“Pathetic” she calls Lute. She’s right- they’re so pathetic, both them, Adam and Lute. They’re so scared of being wrong. So pissy over the idea of being less than great and perfect.

It breaks them. Adam’s last words are him having a meltdown in the face of not actually being hot shit. Where’s his respect, he wails, they should all be worshiping him! But they’re not. One of his random decedents stabs him to death because he would’ve done the same to her, and one of the last things he hears is Vaggie- the fuck up, the traitor, his former grumpy top girl Vagina- whooping with glee as he dies.

And Lute lives knowing that could’ve been her, too.

If it wasn't for Vaggie.

Being not all that didn’t break Vaggie. Finding out she was wrong got her to stop and think and change, not run straight on blindly into a fight that ends up with her (with HIM) dead.

Why does she go from terrified of Lute and Adam, to dismissive and annoyed and just all around not caring about them at all?

They gave up all her respect for them when they demanded the death of a child.

The father of humanity wanted a child killed. A helpless, whimpering kid, sacrificed to his ego and bruised pride, and for shits and giggles. His first lieutenant saw failing to do so as a sin worthy of hell. All this over a child. How could she ever take them seriously after that.  

She came down from high and chased the child and held a blade over them on divine command.

Then, somehow, she saw the HORNS in her own shadow above them- even though she wasn’t WEARING her MASK, and she stopped.

She was her own messenger angel.

She chose to give the child mercy, and became the sacrifice herself.

Vaggie stuck it to the man. Didn’t steal that life. And, terrified of what would happen to her next, acted selflessly. The same thing that got her left behind in hell should have earned her place in heaven, according to Adam-

heaven was shit to her though. Made her into a soldier. Sent her to kill and kill and kill. Taught her trust on the battlefield- in heaven, of all fucking places-

Timeline wise we see her very first smile when she meets Charlie. When a stranger does- again- the bare minimum for someone else.

When she’s back up in heaven later she isn’t wistful, just angry, uncomfortable, annoyed. She isn’t happy there. It’s not home to her, like her and Charlie’s room back at the hotel is. Why should it be? What good did she ever find in herself up there?

Down here though, she's happy. Hell is where her heaven started. So I guess in the end, she did find what she’d earned after all. Or it, Charlie, found her.

When “The rules are shades of gray…”

Sometimes they’re wrong, and you have to break them.  

People like Lute and Adam would rather crack under the pressure and die instead, but not Vaggie. They're out for blood. She's out for love.

Sucks to be them~

[warsofasoiaf]

You're massively overthinking things. It simply boils down to Americans being sick of forever wars as the world's police, picking Trump in 16 over the Bush-party and the establishment SecState, taking-credit-for-Libya Clinton, and in 24, because they have zero interest in tax dollars (or worse) being spent on a corruptocrat bullshit country fighting one with nukes & oil. Trump is simply not smart or prudent enough to refrain from getting hyperbolic in rejecting the anti-Putin mania.

Your hard-on for Putin also has you looking at concessions as "things you don't want Putin to have" instead of "things that might cost AMERICA less than funding the Keystone Kops civil war". How many times do Trump & his supporters have to say "America first" before you get that's what they mean, not "sure, America, but also we have to solve this international issue I did my thesis on/have a consulting job lined up concerning/etc..." that every foreign policy "expert" says is a priority? Final point: "The 80s called, they want their foreign policy back" - the last 100% mentally there POTUS, campaigning for re-election, which he won despite being black, and telling Medvedev on a hot mike that he'd be able to help more in his second term. Making 3 of the last 4 elections where Americans picked the not-fighting-Russia guy. Sorry Ukraine, but maybe don't go bullying ethnic Russian citizens next time. "It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations if you live near him."

LOL, this is amazing. Ukraine's corruption is a relic of the Soviet Union and the Russian Federation - they actually want to be our ally.

Public polling said that inflation was a primary concern and that among Americans, they largely were supportive of Ukraine, rather than Russia. People wanted Trump in 16 because they were tired of being condescended to. And let's not forget, in a climate with >5% inflation, Trump squeaked by with 1.4%. He was given the 2024 election on a silver platter and he still managed to almost fuck it up. You're out of touch, deep in your Twitter echo chamber. Touch grass, boyo.

Forever war? Trump is openly fetishizing invading Greenland, Canada, and Panama. He's the forever war candidate butthurt that his current legacy is "the second guy that was a non-consecutive President but also got impeached because he was a little snowflake scared about losing an election that he tried to get oppo dirt."

I'll believe that Trump is "America First" when he actually starts doing policies that benefit Americans. Because right now, he's driving up inflation and driving down the stock market with tariff threats. Cost America less? Idiot wants to ram through 4.5 trillion worth of tax cuts and explode the deficit so don't tell me he cares about fiscal responsibility. Ukraine aid is spent here, in the US, spent at the Lima Plant modernizing our military. That's stuff that actually makes the US stronger. Meanwhile Trump is talking about trying to open up trade with Russia - and torpedoing trade with Europe (a larger partner) to do it. He wants the US to finance Russian reconstruction, the same Russians that tried to kill us in Khasham and that regularly arrest US citizens on flimsy charges so that they can extract concessions via hostage diplomacy. That's not caring about Americans - that's a "Russia First, America after" policy.

Ukraine bullying ethnic Russians. That's fucking rich. Boo-hoo, the ethnic Russians in Ukraine are big sad that everyone doesn't tell them that Russia is the biggest and best boy ever. Cry more, loser.

Try again, buddy! Maybe do some research instead of swallowing Russian propaganda wholesale and believing it makes you a free thinker.

-SLAL

[pinejayy]

╰┈➤ Buggy the Clown that has a S/O with a higher Bounty

summary: headcanons of buggy reacting to their lover having a higher bounty on them.

warnings: this is just buggy being a jealous clown, curse words, buggy threatening you, maybe some angst, fighting, buggy slaps you, crying.

WHAT!? HOW COULD YOU HAVE A HIGHER BOUNTY THAN HIM?! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?! BUGGY IS MORE CAPABLE OF BEING DESTRUCTIVE?! HE WAS PISSED OFF!

Your bounty was 25,000,000…

“What makes you so special? Why do you have a higher bounty than me?!” He said, hissing at you. And you just shrug not seeing the problem and this would piss him even more.

He would most likely avoid you, and you don’t understand why he’s so butthurt over some dumb bounty.

Buggy hates the fact that your more dangerous than him, he should be the dangerous one in the relationship! Not you!

Heck even his crew mates mock him for it. “Oh no here comes the Boss! Oh wait since Y/N has a higher bounty should we make them our new boss?” They mocked and laughed at him.

They would laugh at him. And he would flip out. Lashing out on them.

When Buggy is around you he’s pissed off, and you still don’t understand why he’s taking this whole bounty thing to heart.

Who cares right? Both of you were wanted people. Who cares if someone had the higher Bounty. “Buggy Sweetheart, come on. I don’t understand why you’re so worked up over some dumb bounty.”

And he would snap his head towards you, walking towards you. His body towering over you. “It’s not that! You don’t understand!” He hissed at you.

You rolled your eyes. “All I can see is that your being a huge cry baby!” You spat out, and all of the sudden he slapped you across the face. And you were shocked.

Before you could react he grabbed your face roughly and forced your face closer to his, you could feel his breath against you. “Shut the fuck up! I could literally kill you and collect that bounty myself!” He said. You whimper out and began to tear up.

You’ve never seen Buggy this upset, and he’s never laid his hands on you. All this for some dumb bounty. Letting out a small sob you push him away and run out of the room. Leaving him there alone. He was thinking about what he did, clenching his fist. He took a deep breath. God he felt like an asshole right now.

All of the sudden he pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of his pants. He opened it up and it was your wanted poster. And he sighed, frowning.

Sitting down by a near by chair, he stares at your picture. You were always so beautiful! Why did you ruin everything by getting a high bounty number!

He was jealous yes, but in reality Buggy was worried about you, what if someone goes after you?! What if you get killed! He didn’t want the only person he cares and loves being taking away from him. And he couldn’t bring himself to tell you why he was so upset he didn’t want to seem weak.

You had a huge target on your back. And bounty hunters are constantly going after you.

Buggy would stare at your wanted picture and he sighed. A few tears fell onto the paper. Wait! What was this! Buggy wasn’t familiar this kind of feeling. Was he crying.

Oh he definitely was crying. Tears fell onto the paper. As he cried softly, he bit down on his tongue so no one could hear him cry.

He definitely ruins his make up with all his crying.

After awhile he crumpled the paper and threw it across the room. He wipes his tears off, he had to apologize to you. He had too…he felt like a dickhead for snapping at you. And he felt even worse about slapping you…

Buggy fixes his makeup, and he walks out looking for you. And hopefully you could accept his apology. He was just afraid to lose someone he loves.

“God I’m so sorry Y/N….I hope you can forgive me.” He mumbled to himself.

[jankypromoters]

i (foolishly) decided to step out of my little side pocket of the arcane fandom to see what people are saying about mel in regards to jayvik... and bruh. i wasted like... a couple minutes of my life reading a jayvik shipper's long ass take dismissing the misogynoir in the arcane fandom and i just need to rant.

there's nothing wrong with jayvik. there's nothing wrong with YOU if you like jayvik.

but having your head so deep up a ship's ass you don't notice the people around you being anti-black? then pretending like black fans are just making shit up to “spite your ship” or whatever bullshit you believe to make yourself feel better after pointing out the misogynoir that the fandom isn't even trying to hide? it's shit like this that prevents me, and a lot of other black fans from enjoying certain media in general.

and i just wanna say i don't think a lot of people are anti-jayvik because they're "butthurt" or whatever the fuck y'all say. IT'S BECAUSE Y'ALL ARE FUCKING WEIRDDDDDD WHEN IT COMES TO MEL.

ntm a couple days ago i saw a goofy ass Instagram reel saying "y'all couldn't even handle jayvik" nigga WHO? WHO IS Y'ALL? let's be so fr, jayvik is the most popular, well received ship in the whole show. go to the arcane ao3 tag right now and you'll see that shit in the top three up there with timebomb and caitvi (we also need to talk about how common it is for interracial relationships in media and fandoms to only be mainstreamed as long as one of the partners is white... but i digress, i digress.)

we can't handle a fandom doing what it does best; pairing the two men together and shitting on the woman? gtf 😭 this has been happening since the birth of the Internet. Hell, probably even before.

And the real kicker is, you don't HAVE to like Mel. I can understand why some people may not like her, and I'm not gonna sit here and say you have to like her just because she's black. But a lot of people are just regurgitating nasty anti-black talking points to justify their hatred for her instead of ACTUALLY having a valid reason to dislike her character.

mel is a colonizer. i won't deny that in the slightest. but the mass majority of the fandom don't care to dig deeper than the surface level representation she's given. it's always "she manipulated jayce!"/"she called them investments!" nigga go bathe.

i knew as soon as viktor appeared on screen the fandom was finna show they ass over that white man. i just KNEW fujo brain worms would takeover and all logic would go out the window. but trust me. you jayvik niggas aren't oppressed for wanting these men to kiss. y'all aren't even a minority. quit acting like you gotta protect yourself from big bad mel medarda and her stans.

and it's not even ALL jayvik shippers, but it's too damn many. they saw black woman near their fave and immediately decided to lynch her character. i'm saying lynch metaphorically and literally because of that disgusting jayvik serial killer au floating around in mel's tag. i have something to say about that to but i'll make another post. i'm disgusted, not shocked, and disappointed that this behavior is so normalized in fandom spaces.

since arcane season two decided to be more ship driven than narrative driven i feel like a lot of y'all feel... entitled, and people feel like they finally have the opportunity to express their anti-blackness in an environment where they can pull the homophobia and ableism card once you call out the weird shit they're doing.

tl;dr i don't wanna hear a jayvik shipper, nay, a NONBLACK person speak on fandom misogynoir ever again because y'all are just loud and wrong every damn time, and stop acting like black fans are fucking stupid for addressing it.

[supertayaa]

harley saywer nsfw alphabet (~4k words)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Don't expect anything from the man. The most he can do is flop down by your side uncerimoniously, panting a few times before tossing the blanket over the both of you to fall asleep. Unless you have enough energy to clean yourself up, you're falling asleep with sticky thighs and sweat-sheened skin.

If you've known him long enough, and you respect his insignificance towards you (by this, I mean, if you don't get butthurt about him not exactly caring about you all too much) and humanity, he's nice enough to pop into the bathroom to wet a cloth, wiping down the both of you. But the cloth is tossed into the laundry basket just as quickly, and his cold frame is on his side of the bed, leaving you to fall asleep on your own. That's how it is even if you don't get fucked to sleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hands. Partly, because they're long and lanky, just like the rest of his body, and the other half because of what he can do with them. His fingers are cold and calculated, his movements so precise - like he always knows what he's going to do next. He does his work with his hands. He preforms so many surgeries with his hands, he makes you squirm and writhe with those hands. He knows that you know nobody can do what he does.

As for you.. He can guess he likes your face. He doesn't typically prefer anything significant about you in sex, he sees everything about you in the same light. Nothing is more important than another part. But your face.. He learns so much about it every day. As time moves on, he grows bored of it, but in the first few months or years, he's always watching you. Calculating you. Your expressions, what certain movements of your face mean. The way your lips grow thin when you're confused, or the way they fall open when you're too confused. The way your nostrils flare to push out more air from them when you're angry. The way your brows furrow and meet in the middle when you're concentrated... Or the way your eyes roll back in the most lewd way when he hits right into the spot you need it most.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn't like to cum inside. For the reasons being; he cannot risk you getting pregnant. Realistically, he'd probably leave if he did end up knocking you up, and for the fact that he despises the morning cleanup. He'd rather cum on your stomach, ass, chest, just somewhere you or him can wipe it down and he doesn't have to deal with stained sheets. Because he knows you'll let it drip out of yourself. And, even if you beg for him to just "use a condom", he'll just quirk a brow. But under that unfaltering demeanor, he's actually just paranoid of it breaking.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It isn't really something he'd be game to try. But, if you're a bit of a horndog and are constantly begging for sexual attention, he'll find himself dreaming of you on top of him in his sleep, or the subtle thought passes his brain as he's brushing his teeth or showering. He'd never bring it up to you, ask for it, or even question your stances on somno, as he can't give away the fact that he's technically been fantasizing about you, so it'll be a secret he drags to the grave with him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He doesn't really have experience with women, men, anybody. He was the nerd growing up, with too-good grades. The kid that was only really useful for homework answers. Whatever. He didn't have time for getting laid anyway, he was focused on other things. But, despite that, he has enough common sense. He's a PhD in neuroscience, he knows enough about the female and male body to know what feels good, what spots are sensitive and where they're located. Besides, if you tell him what feels good or how you'd like it, he'll only look at you from above his glasses, quirk a brow, then go right back to what he was doing (You secretly notice that he does what you asked for the next time you fuck, but, you know he'll stop if you bring it up). You should enjoy what he's offered to you, anyway, because it's not like he would've really done this on his own will.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything that lets him take the lead. Cowboy, missionary, doggy, you laying on the bed and him standing behind you. He doesn't care about seeing your face, being able to squeeze your tits, or anything.. Romantic. He just likes anything that lets him fuck you without you getting in the way or being in a position where you can (try) to take control.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

No. Just no. Don't even try.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Sawyer either keeps shaved, or he just hardly grows hair down there. Or in any places. Maybe it's his malnutrition. Yes, he eats, but he hardly intakes enough protein that he should be. He's too busy working to really bother with stupid things like maintaining his body weight, or other things like that. But, seriously, you can't figure out if he's just a weirdly body hair-less man, or if he's very good at shaving every inch of his body.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

No.. No, not really. He hardly shows intimacy as it is, it just isn't an emotion, or feeling, that he's really capable of. His mouth is busy spewing out silly facts or notes he remembers, like how one of his most recent experiments is holding up. Actually, sex with him probably isn't intimate at all. Unless he's tired. Sleepy sex with him is just perfect. He's too tired to actually talk, and with the room being so quiet, you can finally hear a few tiny huffs come from his nose as he works himself into you from behind.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I doubt the man has ever even thought about masturbating. He has better uses for his own hands, like cutting children open and transferring their insides to another body. Hell, getting horny is rare for him as is.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sawyer's never really taken the time to indulge in figuring out what does and doesn't turn him on. It hardly changes when the two of you get together, either. But as the two of you grow more sexually intimate (which takes a god forsakenly long time), he finds a few things he enjoys more than others.

Loves choking you. He knows his hands are freezing, and his fingers are long, perfect for wrapping tightly around your throat. He's a sucker for fingering you, edging you in the meantime. Curling his long, dull fingers in all the right places, watching you shudder and squirm. You can squirm all you want, he won't stop you, just make sure you don't cum until the command is barked out.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He refuses to have sex anywhere but in the bedroom. You won't be getting his work or home office dirty, not his sterile lab, not his couch, not his kitchen counters or table, not his bathroom sink (I would say shower sex is on the table - but he wouldn't let you shower with him anyway). Sex is meant for the bedroom - it'll stay in the bedroom. Sheets are easily cleanable. The blankets and pillows can be tossed off the bed before sex even starts and stay clean. The couch is impossible to clean without an exasperatingly expensive steam cleaner (from what he tells you), he needs his laboratory to stay sterile, he cooks dinner on that counter and table, and his bathroom is a clean sterile space that should stay that way. Sawyer promises you over and over, he is not a germophobe. Why would you think that??

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sawyer will absolutely grovel if you seriously take the time to admire his work. Praises of how smart and intelligent he is, murmuring under your breath while you watch his newest experiment simply live in it's space. He adores having you as company when he's working (although most of the time he's having you do his side work for him, like writing down whatever he says to send reports to Ritterman, stopping by other employees' offices to ask for paperwork, delivering papers, etc), as long as you stay out of his way. Just sit there, look pretty, and admire from afar. He loves it.

And, believe me, if you make sure he has a good, ego bristled day at work, you'll have a good night, too. Oh, you wanted it faster? Harder? Sure. But only because its an exchange for how obedient you were in his lab today.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Theres way too many things he would never let you do, or never do in general. Sex in his laboratory? No. But that's to be expected, as he needs the space to be as sterile as possible - but sex in his office or anywhere at work is off limits anyways. Letting you take control? No. Threesomes? No. Giving you oral? No. Any sort of.. Lovesick, sappy romance? No. Whether it be he takes you to dinner and the two of you never say a word (even if you both sit at different tables...), or if it's sitting on the couch and watching a movie with you - it's a no. He doesn't have the time (Secretly, he does have a movie he wants to watch, but the thought of watching it with you is.. Off. It's not a bad or inappropriate movie or anything, he just likes the alone time. Or, that's what he tells himself).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Will never give oral. He's more than accepting to recieve it from you, but just the thought of swallowing any sort of sperm from you, or drinking up any of your arousal fluids is just.. Sickening to him. He doesn't want it to taste bad (although he knows you're most likely more than sanitary and are probably good at your hygiene), or anything of the like. It's just too big of a risk.

Oh, but you want to give him a blowjob? Don't make him laugh. Since when did he ever recieve the honor? Of course, his dress pants are pooling around his ankles in seconds, his freezing cold, skinny fingers digging in your hair to shove you down onto him with ease. He'll never say it, but the feeling of your tongue on his tip is absolutely lovely.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sawyer typically likes to go at a moderate to fast pace. Fast enough to slowly get you to an orgasm after ~40-50 minutes, maybe less time if you haven't had sex in a while, but slow enough to not be way too much. Just a perfect medium. Of course, he'll speed up as he gets closer and feels you tightening - but it's usually the same pace with him. He can't go too fast now, or else he won't be able to talk to you about his newest experiment!

Unless he's tired. As previously stated, sleepy sex is nothing less than perfect. He typically spoons you - which by god - feels amazing. He never does it when he's actually sleeping, so feeling the man so cradled against you is everything you can dream for. Slow, yet perfectly hit thrusts, just barely rubbing you against your g-spot/prostate. Not ramming into it, but just enough to get you to drool and sleepily murmur out your moans into the pillow. And, for once... Sleepy sex with him is like a break from all the talking he does while you two actually fuck.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He, surprisingly, doesn't exactly prefer them. He likes to take his time with an orgasm, especially with yours. Which was.. Weirdly, a surprise with you. You expected him to prefer a quickie over anything since he already expresses his disinterest in having sex with you 95% of the time - but when you brought it up, he looked at you like you had just slapped him. Confused, almost irritated.

And, he never actually said it to clarify why he was confused by your question, but drawn out orgasms, to him, are amazing. Maybe not to the point of downright edging (himself, he loves to edge you), but just getting to the buildup over an hour or so of sex with you is... Seriously, the best way to end a night.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

It really depends. Risking public sex, risking being heard, risking getting anything except the bed dirty, risking pregnancy, is all off the table. He doesn't want babies running around and wasting his time, nor does he want to risk getting fired or ruining his perfect, sterile environment.

...Sure. If you complain about something new you wish to try enough for it to get on his nerves, he'll comply, but only to get you to shut your mouth. That's the only true "risk" he'd ever do.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sawyer is a 'one and done' kind of man. He doesn't like to preoccupy his much needed time with lackluster things like sex, and besides, he knows he does it good enough that one round leaves you tired. He can last longer, and he supposes he can go an extra one or two rounds if he's off work the next day, but he rarely goes over more than one.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

It takes an unfathomably long time for Sawyer to consider toys. That being said, you don't bring it up for a while considering the man's temper, and how much he already seems displeased with simple sex. But he never considers it until you finally ask.

He seems intrigued.. But only for one thing in paticular. Remote-controlled vibrators (we'll pretend they existed back in 1990). Oh, really, you just offered him a toy he can pleasure you with without even having to do anything?? Well, aren't you a saint. He's probably sat in his office in the house, working, just nextdoor to where he's purposefully left you curled up under the sheets with the toy under your pants, while he hears you squeak and squeal through thin walls as he remembers to toy with the remote every now and then. He has so much fun using it for the first time - leaving the bedroom door open to better gague how you react to certain buttons he presses. It's like he's experimenting on you. And he loves it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Sex with him overall is a tease in itself. He just won't stop fucking talking. Seriously. He'll be fucking you silly, and you're drooling all over the pillows, as he rambles about Leith (whom you've gagued Harley says the name of wrong on purpose, out of hatred) and his "horrible leadership skills", Greyber's affection for the children in playcare making her small minded and overly sensitive. How much he hates Mr. Ritterman and his excessive, over-the-top accent. He just doesn't know when to stop ranting about work problems. It isn't like he's doing it on purpose. Having sex with you feels like a chore for him. So he takes the time to complain about his day to keep him occupied while he ignores your cock-drunk state.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The most you'll really be getting from Harley is a few croaked out gasps, or a few groans when he finally finishes or first bottoms out inside of you. Most of his time thrusting is spent rambling to you, so his throat is far too occupied for him to be making any noise.

But.. If you tighten around him as he cums inside (which he'll only allow to happen if you've gone through hysterectomy, oophorectomy or anything of the sort), or just manage to squirt a bit when you finally release, it manages to pull a shuddered moan from his throat.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He thinks your pitiful attempts at turning him on or trying to figure out his interests are all too amusing. He finds himself recalling the time you dressed up in lingerie for him. Sure, it looked... Nice, on you. Whether you're male or female, he thought the colour you chose suited. But when you awkwardly shifted side to side, confused on why he didn't pounce on you, he couldn't help but let out a dry chuckle, before leading you to the bed for a long lecture of how he felt about the action as he boredly pounded you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Harley doesn't have anything too exciting. You could consider it a comfortable size, a bit on the skinnier size. A solid 6 inches, maybe 3½ in girth? You've never bothered to measure, nor has he. But it's comfortable. If he's fucking you, it's just perfect enough to pleasure you. Cockwarming, although it's extremely uncommon, he isn't too big to be poking anywhere uncomfortable. Just perfect.

And, as previously mentioned, he doesn't have the most body hair, so just simple lower stomach pubes, softly trailing up his stomach into an insignificant happy trail. No other hair down there as far as you know, though.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As previously stated, Harley isn't typically one to start the intimacy. He hardly feels sexual feelings at all - so his sex drive is probably six feet under.

As the years go by in your relationship, he'd probably realize how much of a stress reliever sex is, and he'd most likely come to you after a very long month of work and lack of sex to just relieve some tension. He'll never say it out loud, nor do I think he'd ever truly admit it, but finally planting his cum all over your back after an extra long week makes his knees turn into jelly.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

So quick. Almost too quick. After pulling out and downright ignoring your needs (he might use the excuse that he's too tired to help if he's feeling bratty enough), he simply flops to the side, pulls the blanket over himself and dozes off in what seems like seconds. Going to bed after draining himself of a thick load, mind cleared and thoughts thoroughly spewed out, it gets him to sleep so easily. And Sawyer hardly does that. So.. Seriously, even if you don't know it - having sex with you is deeply appreciated.

As time moves on, you slowly find that Sawyer inches closer every single night. When he first let you into his home (almost a year into the relationship), and you two slept together for the first time (which takes another few months), he's practically falling off the complete opposite side of the bed. He'd stare at you all night until you finally actually fall unconcious. But he doesn't do that anymore.

He's finally on a normal spot of his own side of the bed. But as weeks turn to months - and months into years.. He gets closer every month or so. As if he's.. Warming up to you. At some point, the most he does is rest a hand over your heart in his sleep. It's an unconcious touch, and he always pulls it away during his stirring wake, but the subtle action makes your heart swell and throb. Because whether you and him know it or not, he really does love you.

side posted on a03

[mythundermeme]

THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA - SEASON 3, EPISODE 3

notes: feel free to tweak details (pronouns, etc) to fit the muses. do not add to this list. other meme blogs, please don’t reblog.

"No, it's alright. They cannot hurt you." "I seek bloodshed, not assurance." "If she cannot find them, I can." "You need a bloodhound for this, not a bulldog." "Are you withholding something?" "Be grateful I allow your treacherous lungs to draw breath." "You dare mock my power?" "If you value your pathetic life, you'd best find them first." "That's fucking weird." "No way. That bitch wanted me dead." "Ooh, (name) with the hot goss!" "I assure you, we'll be fine." "Women aren't some mysterious code." "I know relationships in a group like ours can be problematic…" "I was hoping we… could… chat." "Would you like to talk before or after?" "Right, shutting up now." "Our future is clouded with misery." "So joy today isn't worth pain tomorrow?" "If you're too afraid to let me in, then… maybe you should leave." "You ever get a chance to tell someone how you feel and you just kinda chicken out?" "Fuck, I don't know what's wrong with me." "Quite a time to leave your home unprotected." "Hope you brought mittens." "Let's just say, being in dangerous situations with someone you're close to can lead… to friction." "Buckle the fuck up." "Welp, won't be needing jackets." "Oh, my god. Can we please focus on real shit, guys?" "Didn't you have. like, feelings for me?" "It was always clear that you two were destined for each other." "So you weren't like… butthurt?" "Shouldn't we talk about what that was? What we are?" "If you need a label, call it a tryst. Call it a mistake. Call iy whatever you want." "I want to know what you want. Unless you're too scared to say it." "I'm checking on the others. Something you should be doing." "Forgive me, but you have a history of leaving allies in the dust." "I shed just as much blood." "That's nice to hear, but a bit too late." "Of course you didn't know. You were lost in each other's eyes." "You've sentenced us to death!" "Blinded by love again." "I hope he kills you first, so (name) can watch you die." "Don't worry, I won't bite." "You should have finished them by now. What are you waiting for?" "I want to see blood." "Oh, thank goodness we're together." "We both know there's something between us." "I'm not ready to say what you want to hear." "Relationships are… dangerous." "Everyone I've ever loved, it… it always ends badly." "She's alive, (name). You hear me?" "I know they'll be okay, because I know their hearts." "We're getting out of this cave, damn it."

[wordstome]

So… I have a few uni!König questions 🤓📝

(Please, you don’t need to answer all of these unless you want to of course. It's just that this AU has me on my knees, I'm in love with these two nasty gremlins! send help)

1. Does it bother König that their relationship is not official? Or is he happy with the situationship? (This sounds like a stupid question, of course he’s bothered by it. Right?!?)

2. Is König a skilled lover? You said somewhere that reader can’t get satisfaction from other guys because “nobody is as good as König” but does this mean he’s experienced or does he make up for his possible lack of experience in… some other ways? Or is the good sex due to them having this crazy enemies *and* lovers thing going on?

3. Is it enough for König to shoo potential love interests away and off of her by being a hulking possessive menace, or will he still be jealous and butthurt after that? Brood silently for example? Slam doors passive-aggressively? Perhaps even start a full-on argument when they’re behind closed doors?

4. Do you have any hcs of the craziest place(s)/situation(s) they’ve had sex? Obviously because they were so horny or had to hatefuck because the other one said or did something annoying (again)

SALOOOME MY ANGELLL *rubs hands together wickedly* let's do this

1. Not a stupid question at all! In the beginning, it does bother him, especially when he contends with the idea of her sleeping with other guys--or, horror of all horrors, dating someone else. He's also just kind of a traditional guy who wants to woo a lady, but that would require the lady in question to be wooed. At some point, though, he realizes that it doesn't matter how reluctant she is to make it "official", she's not going anywhere. Then he's just intolerably smug about the fact that deep down, she's just as attached to him as he is to her.

2. I'm glad to elaborate on this! König is less experienced than Cinnamon (which is what I'm calling her for now, it probably won't be relevant in the fic itself but I like giving my MCs callsigns/nicknames). What makes him different than the casual partners she's had before is his dedication to pleasing her, if that makes sense. I mentioned in the headcanon post that "him getting better at fucking really just means he's getting better at fucking her". (continued under cut)

I'm going to elaborate more in the fic (if it goes the way that I have it planned), but König becomes so infatuated with Cinnamon because she doesn't treat him like a weird loser to avoid. It's not really that everyone König knows or comes into contact with avoids him or treats him with contempt--he does have friends, but none that are particularly close. Cinnamon is different in that she's an easygoing person (or at least puts on a persona of being easygoing), so whenever König says or does something dubious her reaction is just the equivalent of "haha, you're weird man, but I like that!" (At least until he starts to annoy her in the best way, and then the whole enemies-and-lovers thing kicks in.) Cinnamon's been with a lot of guys who don't really care about her enjoyment or are assholes in other ways, so König treating her like a priority is new to her and also something she can't find anywhere else. And of course, the more they fuck the better he gets 😈

3. Oh, he gets very jealous and pouty for sure. He does a lot of things as a sort of revenge, like scaring off people she’s flirting with. Initially, Cinnamon doesn’t take him that seriously and just humors him, so he never gets far in terms of being mad at her. (Plenty of brooding, though.) He takes it out on her by being rough and degrading in bed, and when he realizes she isn’t interested in anyone else anymore, he’s a lot more relaxed. At that point nothing she does can upset him because he knows she always comes back to him. By contrast, Cinnamon starts getting agitated because 1. She never intended on having a boyfriend 2. She starts to realize she’s fed a very dangerous beast. I'm probably going to write about their first real fight, and it is messyyyyy.

4. The riskiest is definitely a random utility closet on campus. He probably pulled her in there after she spent an entire lecture brushing his thigh with her foot and didn't anticipate just how immediate the consequences would be >:)

I'm also toying with the idea of him fucking her on someone else's bed, specifically someone she used to hook up with 🤭 They locked the door, but suffice to say that guy knows who she belongs to after that.

[fridayth13]

—when they hate you (or do they?)

↳ mammon, leviathan, mephistopheles, thirteen, and raphael × gn!reader (separately)

↳ genre: fluff(?), enemies to lovers-type beat | wordcount: 1.7k | warnings: cursing, lower demon tries to eat you (mammon), kissing mention (thirteen), you get locked in a closet by solomon (raphael)

↳ notes: when i tell you i worked on this for months 🤡 hfdfjkgdgjfdgjdg

—mammon

between the demeaning remarks from mammon and the fact that you wouldn't take his shit from day one, one can probably guess there'd be a problem

but lucifer appointed him to escort you and show you how things are in the devildom, so it's not like mammon could just say no

but eventually your constant bickering seemed to create a fifth type of migraine for lucifer, so he let mammon off the hook and told you to choose another one of his brothers to escort you around rad

you, being you (and still feeling very petty about mammon's comment of you needing a babysitter. like he was one to talk) you did not listen

the freedom was thrilling, in your defense

after being constantly followed and berated by mammon everyday, being able to go around campus without anyone telling you where to go made you a bit excited

that is, until you found yourself cornered by a random lower demon looking for a snack

but before you could even consider making a run for it, the demon stiffened, their previous predatory sneer freezing into a grimace

they fell to the floor immediately after

and there stood mammon, glaring down at them, his fist positioned upwards like he was ready to land another punch

his glare rose to you

"if you're gonna run around rad all willy-nilly without an escort, at least know when you're bein' followed. idiot."

you merely blinked at him, still reeling in surprise

mammon tore his gaze away. if it were anyone else, you'd almost say he looked flustered

"oh come on, don't go lookin' at me like that! what, did ya really think i'd let some lowlife snack on ya? lucifer'd murder me on the spot!"

you didn't even notice you dropped your bag until mammon picked it up off the floor, carrying it on one shoulder. he gave you a rougher-than-intended nudge on the shoulder

he still wouldn't meet your eyes

"come on, human, let's get ya to class"

—leviathan

it all began.. with the tsl trivia quiz. and then it went downhill from there

though leviathan honored his word and gave you a pact and you began respecting his otaku expertise, on a personal level? yeah no

maybe he was still butthurt about the quiz..? you didn't want to assume the worst about him. you barely knew the guy after all

but also he tried to kill you over his hyperfixation. maybe you had the right to assume whatever you want

and honestly, you were bound to get tired of it at some point

"you're just a random normie anyway lol"

"what, you think i'll just let some normie into my room?"

"ugh, i can't believe a normie beat me at a gamee."

forget tired, honestly, you were getting sick of it

you decided you've reached your limit on a random thursday morning

"hey, normie, pass the salt, would you?"

you ought to throw it at his head at this point

your teeth ground together in irritation

you didn't even notice that you'd crossed the room and moved around the entire dining table until you had the demon's collar by the fist

"i have had it with you!"

"wH- eh?" leviathan could only sputter as your grip tightened on his shirt. "what is your problem?"

"what's my problem? what's your problem?"

you didn't catch the hitch in his breath, the growing red of his cheeks, too blinded by annoyance to look anywhere but the narrowed pupils of his eyes

"would it kill you to have some manners, goddammit? i haven't done a single thing but breathe near you and all i hear is normie this, normie that, do you even know my fucking name?"

levi gulped nervously, but he surprised you nonetheless

"..m....mc.. your name is mc." he mumbled.

you were silent for a moment. but even after all the shit, you decided it would have to do for now. this wasn't worth being late to class over

"i'm not done with you.. demon."

you let go (he heaves a sigh of relief below you) and pick up your bag and leave. simple

all the while, levi watched you leave with his heart hammering in his chest

—mephistopheles

let's be honest, it's not very hard to make an enemy out of mephistopheles

even if you weren't an angel, as a human, you managed to get on his nerves just fine

you'd think with his status and titles and riches that fighting with him on a near daily basis would have some serious kind of ripple effect against you

but you quickly learn that no, he was just the most dramatic bitch in the universe

we been knew

but this only served to annoy you more, really. it was clear that he didn't even take you seriously enough to fight you properly

instead, he resorted to being petty and snarky and obnoxious about literally everything and you wanted to break his stupid nose with his stupid cane

depending on who you are, you would be delighted or very irritated to know that you get on his nerves just as badly!! :D

he knew the demon brothers were a bunch of oafs from the start, but honestly, the way they tumbled over each other to kneel at your feet was just a whole new level of pathetic

you were just some random human exchange student, after all. how great could you really be?

that was what he thought until one day, when his younger brother came barreling into the newspaper club room, completely unannounced, for his first surprise visit to his older brother's school

before mephistopheles could question him, he noticed you standing awkwardly in the doorway

"meph, did you meet mc?" his brother's bright grin seemed like a slice out of the sun as his eyes darted between you and your so-called enemy

obliviously, the kid continued rambling on. "your school is really really big, and i got lost after dad dropped me, but mc found me and brought me to you!"

huh

mephistopheles raised his eyes to meet yours. he couldn't quite read the expression on your face. but he didnt push you further

"is that so?"

(as he soon learned, you were actually pretty great)

—thirteen

in thirteen's defense, you were not the target of the trap

obviously

(so clearly, it was solomon's fault right?? riiiight???)

but you didn't seem to think that way. and to her discredit, you did still get caught in it

upside down and dizzy, the rubber rope latched around your ankles and wrists bouncing with the slightest breeze, you swore you would get her back for this

and you did:

after setting you free, the day after, she reset the trap. all you needed to do was push

in your defense, being stuck upside down for hours, even if on a mere accident, was not fun in the slightest

you were even late for class :(

unfortunately for both of you, the reaper seemed to take this as an act of war

and so ensued your rivalry

unfortunately for everyone else, you were both incredibly stubborn, headstrong, and dramatic

so more often than not, other people ended up falling victim to either of your pranks

belphegor gets caught in a tickle machine intended for you, mephistopheles suffers a bucket of ink falling from the door onto his head, not to mention the time lucifer got hit face first with glitter glue

legend says you were both almost suspended

but that wasn't even taking into account how much everyone hated being there for your verbal fights

satan has had to leave so many rooms just to keep from getting irritated at your antics

it isn't until asmodeus intervened one day that some of the poor witnesses figured out how to make a little entertainment off of this predicament

"good heavens, would you two just KISS already?!"

and, well, in asmodeus's defense, it had just been a joke on his part; a way to get you both to shut up

but much to both of your discredit, neither of you were all that good at hiding your blushing

—raphael

it started with solomon, being the good, amazing, wonderful peacekeeper with no ulterior motives that he is, he hatched a plan to get you and the angel to make up

a plan that was totally not for his own entertainment whatsoever, no

he even got luke to help him out :D

and that was the story of how you and raphael got locked in a room together <3

"luke, please let us out. right now."

a muscle ticked in raphael's jaw as solomon laughed from the other side of the door

"sorry!" luke exclaimed. "we can't open it just yet! not until you talk and make up!"

"solomon....." you warned

"tsk tsk tsk. come on, mc, we're only trying to help you. both of you"

"define 'help'." raphael muttered

you snorted at his quip

"well, for one, the fact that spears rain from the heavens whenever you fight"

"that is none of your business!"

you couldn't help but laugh at his words, even as he glanced your way with incredulity. if anything, the bewildered look only made you laugh again

"guys, you know i could just summon one of the brothers to let us out right? why bother with all this?"

"i know you can, of course," replied solomon. "but. you know. we'd much rather you didn't"

"we just want you two to stop fighting.." luke said

your shoulders slumped at his voice. luke, at least, was being serious

you glanced sideways at raphael. he met your gaze, and the look on his face told you he was thinking the same thing

the angel sighed. "..okay"

"okay what?" luke asked

"we will try to get along."

"really?!"

raphael chuckled. "yes, really" the soft smile on his face faded as he saw your expression

"what."

"nothing, nothing, i just don't think i've seen you smile so nicely before" :)

"which would make sense, given that you're annoying"

"you-"

"haha," solomon chuckled. "they're getting along already"

"it doesn't sound like it.."

"guess it's our time to leave, luke"

"wait, wh- HEY. solomon, put me down!"

you and raphael exchanged glances

"who shall i call?"

"lucifer"

you shared a short, conspiratorial grin

"just what i was thinking"

dividers from @clutteredfun

[meowthiroth]

told an annoying transphobe on twitter to shut up ONE TIME over a YEAR ago bc he was being a dick to one of my friends. Warned my followers about him because he started crashing out and harassing me in my replies right after and made a half-assed attempt to doxx me. Guy promptly got ratioed into oblivion and suspended off twitter. I shrugged it off & went on with my life. Haven't really thought much about him since, aside from catching wind of his subsequent crashouts via my mutuals and having a little laugh about it now & then.

Well, now, over a year after the fact, he's out here raiding discord servers with endless alts STILL trying to harass me, and threatening to hunt me down at my local furcon and attack me with a bat.

Should I be concerned? Probably. But at the same time he's so fucking pathetic and butthurt I can't help but find it hilarious

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Helluva Boss S2E9 blind blogging

[did the minimum about of editing and half of it was done while I was at work, so please excuse any grammar mistakes.]

(Mostly relating to the last episode)

Again, Stolas refuses to just talk. He was walking away and teleported Blitzo out of the building but now, after ignoring texts, he gets pissy cuz Blitzo wants to talk. 100% of this is because Stolas doesn't want a conversation. Blitzo misunderstands his intentions and jumps to conclusions, but when at least 3 opportunities to talk are given, Stolas shuts down.

Also where was this desire for a real relationship months ago after Blitzo admitted that he didn’t see their relationship as anything other than Stolas wanting to sleep with him. THAT is when they should've had an honest talk not mouths of avoiding each other.

(Okay now this ep)

God they made Blitzo so obnoxious to prove a point.

Veronika is a famous popstar, wtf does she care enough to throw an anti-Blitzo party? They have barely interacted in the show, never once in this season, why is she suddenly so pissed at him? How does she know Stolas is an ex, that happened recently.

If Stolas is that ‘done’ with Blitzo why doesn’t he just teleport him off the property again?

"Im UnCoMfOrTaBlE wITh HoW yOuRe SpEaCkInG tO mE nOw" fuck off. You had no problem going on a rant about all the dirty shit you wanted to do to him while he was being fucking gun down but now that shits uncomfortable. 

Stolas said whatever he wanted to Blitzo whenever he wanted and the second he doesn't feel like it, talking like that is breaking a huge boundary. Jump off a bridge.

Where did he get the impression that Blitzo and Striker were friends? Besides the games he never saw them around each other. Gives of the ‘these kids are near each other so they must be best friends’ energy. Like, no, they just met.

"You knew someone was trying to assassinate me?" 🥺 Yeah your wife was screaming about it two feet from your face. If it wasn’t important then, it isn’t important now.

I'll give Stolas the Striker thing and immediately take it away cuz it wasn’t like Stolas sounded afraid or even concerned during the phone call. How tf was Blitzo supposed to know royals could get hurt? Striker only had one angel weapon as far as IMP knew.

"Why would I allow everyone to see how much I like you? How I’ve tried to try so fucking hard to show I like you, to support you."

Fucking when? Where? Name literally one time. That shit at the harvest moon festival doesn't count because if Stolas actually cared he would've paid attention to how uncomfortable Blitzo was with him shouting pet names directly into the microphone. He’d know that him and Striker aren’t friends. Blitzo using the book was an arrangement for sex that Stolas offered. That is not support.

The one and only time their relationship was called out by others Stolas hid his face. Anything after has been in private and not where anyone, not even Blitzo was a witness. Ozzie is the only other person Stolas has openly confessed his feelings for. And he's with his own imp, so of course he isn't going to make a big deal about it.

“That was still the gayest thing I’ve heard all day!” Ignoring the actual line, why is he going feral? Wtf is this scene for? It's so out of place for what’s going on. This is something Loona would do.

“I don’t own you dick.” He’s right tho. Stolas tried to change the relationship without giving Blitzo a heads up or even communicating properly and then got butthurt when he didn’t get the answer he wanted and that was before Blitzo went off on him. And that’s after months of avoiding each other. This talk about changing their arrangement should’ve happen after Ozzie’s. Or at least hinted in Seeing Stars.

Why is the murder family wife getting an apology like she didn't try to kill IMP too ?Why does Blitzo know where she lives. DHORKS shouldn’t get apologies either, kinda ruins the point of Blitzo doing this ‘my name is Earl joke’ if he's apologizing to these people he had the right to hurt. I wonder if Moxxie got an apology.

The party has no music, making it the funniest scene in the series.

I knew they were going to make Veronika the bad one but good lord what is this. Are she and Stella drinking the same crazy juice? That made her Lute levels of crazy. 

You're telling me that ALL these people are Blitzo's exes? That insufferable ass? Is he supposed to drop dead gorgeous and the crew didn't tell us?? cuz no way this annoying man can pull that many people.

How did Blitzo get that far into the party and no one, all of which are there because of how much they hate him, didn't notice? Did he sleep with that many people or just date them? Why are any of these people wasting their time like this? Blitzo isn't important, he doesn't do anything. He is another asshole in hell, a place filled with assholes. Wtf is Blitzo's shitty behavior so out of place?

Oh look another situation where Stolas being in a relationship with an imp is not given any levels of importance or notice. 

So Tex is just mouthing the words right, cuz no way his voice is just blending in like that. Why is he here? 

Did they recast Stolas's singing actor? This song is bland. The singing is okay, but the music might as well not be there.

He's whining about still wanting Blitzo but refuses to speak with him or attempting to get him to have a serious conversation. He has no idea what Blitzo wants and has never asked once.

Stolas is drunk now? He only had a few drinks. In the circus he downed an entire bottle and was fine. Now a few drinks of spiked punch and he's wasted?

They throw this party every year!? You are shitting me. Why? He has signs posted everywhere. His crew is three other people, just kill him if he's that big of a problem. 

The creators cannot convince me that all these people care more about Blitzo than the oppressive society they live in, a member of which Stolas is.

Stolas's drunk rant kinda reveals that he wants to be loved and less that he wants to be in a loving relationship with Blitzo specifically. Interesting.

Seconds later Stolas is flustered by some random guy just asking to dance. Interesting.

How does Verosika know about the apology tour? He walked out on her when she said I love you, okay that's bad, but after spending so much of the episode making her look like a crazy ex, it gives off the impression that he dodged a bullet. At the very least Blitzo is actually in the wrong and it isn't some misunderstanding like with Fizz.

Glad they addressed that Blitzo being bad at relationships is a weird thing to focus on but it isn't explained. Unless he is extremely abusive, many people should not care about him / still be angry. These people live in an environment where they can be murdered at any time and almost no one would care / do anything to help. Compared to all that, a shitty boyfriend is kinda nothing.

I’m glad Verosika wasn’t completely shat on during this episode, especially in the last bit. We probably won’t be seeing her again but at least she got to leave with grace. 

I like the ending song.

Final thoughts. This episode worked overtime to make Blitzo the bad guy. It pulled maybe 100 people out of nowhere to justify Stolas’s anger and for what? The way he was so quick to hook up with another guy, shows he doesn’t care about Blitzo, he cares about the idea of a good relationship. That’s fine on its own, but the first part of this episode and the end of the last was about Stolas making his shattered pipe dream Blitzo’s problem.

Out of all the episodes that do not have a B plot why is it this one?

[daisyjonesgf]

whimsical girlie and billy starting out as a very fucking annoying situationship, high key, but it's really not what you expect

like, it's her being all 'idk-i'm-not-ready' and it's him being all 'wait, so you'll fuck me but you won't date me?'

until, of course, he realises she has her reasons, because the cards or whatever told her it's not time yet, and he knows this, because she wrote a song about timing and right person and all that

so he waits. like actually waits.

then, one night, she's panting after sex, and he's brushing hair off her face and she just goes 'we should date' and then falls asleep

and he's like FUCK YEAH AYYY

simp billy my beloved

🔹🔹🔹🔹

yes yes, 110% correct, it's not that she doesn't want to date him, it's that she's waiting for the mercury retrograde to be over bc she doesn't feel like that's a good time to start a new relationship since it already can cause issues, but she's also a sexually liberated woman, so she's not going to let it stop her from enjoying herself, plus she knows she's gonna date him anyways once the retrograde is over

at first though billy is really butthurt bc he's grown to really care about her and all her quirks, felt sparks whenever she touched him at all bc she's so touchy, and they even fuck in the van once when he originally agreed to a reading and sharing a joint, he's literally obsessed. but she's like no, it's not a good time yet.

and then he overhears her telling daisy that it's not a good time to start a relationship since mercury retrograde is already a tough times for established couples, so she would advise new things wait. and she also writes a song about waiting for the person you love and it's got billy's soul twirling his hair and kicking his feet even if he's pretending to be too cool for it.

once he's figured it out, he'll wait, occasionally ask her when retrograde is ending, and keep having sex with her bc he literally cannot get enough of it it, from the way her lips feel around him, to the feeling of burying his face in her, to the feeling of fucking and kissing her, he is down so bad.

and she waits a couple days after it ends and recharges crystals and cleanses, meditates, realigns herself and then one night they've just finished and she falling onto her back, he's sitting partway up to brush off stray hairs, wipe her face a little, and then she's just, "the stars have aligned for us to be together now." and before he can question it she's is out like a light bulb (don't do that guys, clean up after lmao)

and he's so excited and the next morning he's bragging by throwing in little, "my girlfriend wants-" "my girlfriend and i-"

fuck this man wanted her whimsical ass so bad