#Puts on a confident front
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failure and futility
for day 2 of campfire fest! prompt: third eye (and i guess could also count for explosion, or a lack thereof lol) @outerwilds-events
#i meant to do something yesterday but i had a crazy shift at work and was feeling lazy lol#anyways. pye and idaea after the probe didn't work#this line of text is the first thing that comes to mind for 'third eye' for me bc its the only evidence/in-game mention of the nomai's -#- third eye being special/different from the other two in some way. im curious if it is actually composed differently and has better vision#or if it is just better for seeing fine details in things directly in front of them since it is forward-facing as opposed to -#- being on the sides of their head#also i just think about these two a lot. can you imagine being co-leaders of the most difficult and controversial part of a massive project#that is so important to so many people including your friends family members and ancestors who have died in search of what you are -#- going to potentially destroy your entire clan while attempting to find#you are building a weapon intended to destroy yourself and the entire star system you were born in#and your co-leader is the person with quite possibly the most opposite opinions and disposition to you#idaea having to grapple with the fact that the failure of something he never wanted to exist in the first place is still upsetting to him -#- because despite their differences he still sympathizes with pye who was so confident and wanted it to work so badly#and both of them as well as anyone else working at the sun station put so much time and energy into constructing it#and that work was so miserable due both to the heat and the tension due to their differing opinions and their own mixed feelings on it#pye having to admit defeat to everyone else working on the project who were so excited for this to finally give them the answer#in front of idaea who was so convinced that it was a bad idea and who she was probably desperate to prove wrong#in front of the entire crew of people who had spent probably months in miserable working conditions#after she had been so confident that it would work and so insistent that this was the only way#and she had to admit not only that it failed but that it couldn't possibly work. that deep down she knew and had probably known for a while#- that it would never work and had continued working on it anyway because she wanted it to work so bad#anyways. the fucking brainworms#tried out a new style for this and i really like how it turned out#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds nomai#frostgnaw draws
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Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ♥ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows ♪#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
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Willow | Spike - Clothing
“Why are you still in costume?” “Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit.”
#I call this 'costume motif' my beloved#I feel like both characters wear their hearts on their sleeves#So let’s take a look on their actual sleeves#Obviously everyone’s clothes tell a story and their character growth but I feel like these two are hyper aware of it#Its costume its armor I think they rely on it almost weaponize it#Spike i feel is relatively up on the times for a vampire yet he hasn't changed his style in 20 years#He's found his bad boy rebel image and he's gonna cling to it dammit#And Willow needs her clothes to showcase her pride/rebellion/growth as a lesbian wicca#Their clothing means to them hey look at me I'm not a loser nerd/fool anymore I got power and confidence in spades#But its just a front - superficial but clothes equal security blanket#I think they put too much power in their clothes because they're convinced it can control how people see them#But more importantly so it can control how they see themselves#btvs#mygifs#ok i made the nonsense gifset now will my brain stop this random buffy obsession or is this just a phenomenon that will hit me every decade#buffy the vampire slayer#myfaveposts
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i havent been able to go back to my halau in a long time so im making kouao go instead
(if u need context on what they're doing, it's called tahitian dance or ori tahiti, you can find a very famous performance here)
#dmmd#dramatical murder#fem dmmd#aoba dmmd#koujaku dmmd#kouao#ori tahiti is a very lower body intensive dance and considering how my fem aobas built its perf for her#but ofc she has to be with koujaku bc it says do not separate on their packaging#theyre both really bad at it fyi koujaku just puts up a confident front to seem cool in front of her gf#like a loser
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Akashi on the mind (because who the fuck else lives in my head rent free) and I was just thinking about he's not only good at everything but he also makes everything look easy and that's why people feel comfortable putting so much faith in him/putting him on a pedestal. Especially because Akashi makes it so that he appears to have no weak spots when that could not be farther from the truth. It's all just an image to hide the fact that he's not perfect. But you know what? I think, for the sake of humanizing him, the rest of the KNB cast needs to see Akashi do something and struggle while doing it.
People need to be able to look at his face and feel like they can physically hear the gears turning in his head. I need him to attempt something and then everyone watches him space out for an extended period of time while he figures out how the fuck he's gonna actually do the thing. Let him be clumsy as he finds his way. Let him have a trial-and-error process. Let him be successful at doing something while still having the privilege of not getting it right the first time. LET HIM NOT BE PERFECT.
#akashi is fr just like everyone else#that whole thing in the replace plus chapters where akashi says he's never lost at anything#sorry sweetheart but im calling major cap#youre telling me even as a young child you were the best at everything?#even as a toddler?#i think its a front because hes afraid to shatter peoples expectations#hes confident in his skills because he has no choice#insecurity implies weakness and akashi doesnt want to be seen as weak#so he puts on airs and walks around like he's undefeatable so no one can argue with him#dont get me wrong he is incredibly skilled at pretty much everything he does#but skill does not come without immense practice#behind a finished product are several different drafts and akashis skills are no exception#one day i hope hell be brave enough to admit it#kuroko no basket#akashi seijuro
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Finally got around to catching up on 911 and oh my god the way I love Bobby with my entire heart and soul Peter Krause the man that you are
#first of all he’s so fine my god#second of all the calm and poise that Bobby has#the love he has for everyone else and the confidence he puts in them#his love is so big idek what to do with myself#I haven’t actually cried a lot at this show but I am crying now#him standing in front of the plane as Athena lands it my god the power the emotions I feel right now#bobby nash#911 abc#peter krause
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I need to know… do you think Royal margarine is scared of bugs? Like would he scream and climb on top of furniture with a pantufla in hand ready to throw it (horribly) at the bug or is he a brave guy and just carefully takes the bug outside again?
(Please don’t mind this very oddly specific question, I just think it would be neat if you drew Royal margarine with a little (or big) buggy creature)
OH DEFINETLY THE FIRST ONE
he for sure SAYS he would confidently take the bug outside for you if asked and the bug would be safe and everything would be fine but i dont think he could actually even throw anything at it, hed cower behind buttercream until the bug either just leaves on its own or someone else takes care of it
this also reminded me of this one meme everybody was drawing from however long ago and i wanted to do it for such a long time and i did im sorry couldnt contain myself
also a bonus little doodle of him actually getting the courage to carry said buggy
he would only do this if forced to take care of it by himself with no outside help and then he'd be fine and boast about it for the next 2 hours
#a lot of words just to say hes afraid of bugs#but im mentally ill about him#i think this is actually rlly a cool topic to discuss because it tackles his internalized masculinity and the need he feels to look#confident and strong for other people to look up to him and that he can never actually do those things himself because its just a front#and he never lets himself feel his own fears and emotions because hes always putting up that facade#but hey you didnt hear me ramble just now#characters that bottle their emotions to put up a facade of confidence arent my favorite trope ever what#im gonna stop talking#royal margarine cookie#cookie run fanart#cookie run kingdom#royal margarine crk#royal margarine cookie fanart#cookie run#cookie run kingdom fanart#crk#questions and rambling and stuff#my art and my stuffff
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im weeding and taking them out one at a time (cant supervise both while distracted) and lyra got ages of dirttime and still looks deeply aggrieved now pan's out
#lyra#pan#explaining to my cat the idea of taking turns#lyra stayed out for ages and eventually wanted to go to the backyard and had to be forcibly put back in (about which she of course whined)#pan came out ate some grass and sniffed a few things then waited by the front door like ok done ^-^#boy you are so timids. getting him a bucket of cocaine which i think will help instill confidence. not taking feedback on this plan
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Remembered someone saying that Desuhiko blushes when Yuma says he's impressed with him in his 3rd Gumshoe Gab and I thought "they don't mean that literally right?"
Well.
#robin talks#rain code#desuhiko thunderbolt#yuma kokohead#kokobolt#desuhiko acts all high and mighty like he's got the confidence of a mountain#but i think it's a front he puts up for himself#so when someone actually and genuinely says something nice to him#he doesn't know how to react and the front fades#further proving my point:#right before this yuma says ''I see..'' and desuhiko gets upset and goes ''after everything i've shared- nothing?''#which leads to the above happening#and right after the last screenshot he goes and I quote#''y-yeah I knew it! that's the reaction I was expecting!"#which is so clearly a load of lies#me thinks maybe the self-esteem issues are still kind of there hmmmm#(hi if you've read this i hope you have a nice day)
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Yeah I bet experiencing romantic love is a great emotion and all but has a mouse ever put it's tiny tiny paws on your hand as you offer it a little snack.
#do they know i love them#they're so teeny tiny and I'm so big and yet and yet Hamid trusts me enough to climb on my hand or just put his little paws on my hand#I'm gonna cry about it#bilbo too but he's not as confident yet#i bought them a new hay ball cause they loved it so much the last time#they're so little and they know when i get up in the morning and when i return from work#even tho daylight savings has confused them#but when i walk into the living room they're there and they run to the front and they look at me with their little eyes ;-;#duck talks bullshit#this is what love is about actually#romantic love this platonic love that what about the love for those tiny creatures who live in my living room and recognise me#sorry for mouse posting on main i bought food for them and got emotional#<- not sorry
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Writing the same scene from multiple perspectives to get a feel for how everyone thinks and feels, take 1/7:
HOLLY clung to the side of the group, core to it in her unique way of threatening others, but not necessarily feeling such. She cared for the other girls - well, maybe not so much for Heather - but could never quite tell if they felt the same. Though, it wasn't like she really gave them the chance to do so anyways. She was far too settled into her routine. Head in and group up, take notes, stay late and study hard, rinse and repeat. She felt more acquainted with the library than she did with any of the girls she spent her days with. Not that it mattered - her primary focus was acing the LSAT. Maybe the detachment was for the better. Though, the ache in her heart didn't convince her much of that fact. It was the same as it always was. Even when she did decide to go out - a change of pace for the note taking - she still kept her distance. It felt so much more comfortable to watch than to act, to risk doing something wrong that could topple the entire scene. She was better suited to take orders, but even then still struggled. Heather's orders were enacted with an iron fist, and while it wasn't often that Holly was the messenger, the few times she was she had been demanded to be nothing short of brutal. It was a facade she knew she could maintain, if only for a short period of time. Just long enough to deliver the intimidation, the mask slipping away as soon as the act was over. It never felt good. Heather did show something that could be vaguely adjacent to pride in her however, and that sliver of approval was sufficient to carry her forward. It was likely good practice for court anyways, when she'd have no choice but to turn the spotlight onto herself, calling the shots and making the decisions.
She glanced across the group. Bluebell and Aster took up the rear, both shuffling forward in silence, as per usual. Daisy flanked the opposite side, interjecting into conversation as Iris and Heather maintained a shallow back and forth, discussing plans for the week for the group. Holly rarely joined the conversations, the topics moving too quickly for her to get in more than a single sentence. She did wonder if it would be easier with fewer people, but never deigned to meet with any of the other girls one on one. Too busy, she'd told herself. She turned her attention back to the hall in front of herself. Shoulders back, head up. Look confident! She did wonder about the new girl she'd seen here and there. Her name evaded her, but she had the cutest pink chassis; she wondered if she could start anew with her, strike up a conversation. About what? She hadn't thought that far in advance, only entertaining the idea of chatting. She'd double up on reading that night. Thinking too hard about the social gaps hurt, but the promise of success in law came first - she could worry about the specifics later. Staying with the other girls kept her from being singled out and took some of the sting away; her refusal to take breaks was the bandage on top. Look alive! You're stepping out onto the floor, and your opposition is guilty. You know it, and now you need not just to prove it, but to rub their face in it. Who's it going to be this time? All she needed was the word, and she could begin her targeted attack. Not that those orders came very often - the legal process was quite lengthy - but when they did, she would be prepared. She'd done it once before, she could absolutely do it again. All she needed was that little push.
#this one REALLY helped me nail down what she's like; shorter sentences for quicker ideas#she puts on a confident front but she's a little bit of a mess#oc tag
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💬 // @brctherscnce
send me 💬 or "unsent texts" i'll share a text my muse typed but never sent yours.
You won’t hear from me for a while. That test procedure I had done? I’m trying to reverse it. We don’t have a medic, but I think I can do this. I’ll need to go into stasis until my frame fully recovers. Don’t worry, I’ll be super stealthy! And I’ll look different! Just…whatever happens isn’t your fault.
Why did you leave so soon after you came back? What made you think that anyone would listen to me? I would do anything for you and that will never change, but moving on day after day without being able to trust anyone around me? If that happens again, I don’t think I’ll survive.
Optimus. Talk to me. Please stop avoiding me. I don’t blame you for anything. Do you blame me for being weak? For going down so quickly in that fight? Do you hate me? I don’t care just please talk to me.
Vontra didn’t lie. I reverted frame sizes because my spark couldn’t sustain my larger one. But my spark is stressed, dying multiple times will do that, huh? You come back to life at the expense of your lifespan. I have maybe another three vorns, five if I’m lucky. If I take it easy. If I’m careful. But we both know I’m bad at that.
I’m happy you have Roz. I’m happy you met and that she brings out the best in you. I’m sorry I could never do the same.
#brctherscnce#|| roztimus verse#[ lmao all of bee’s unsent texts are sAD ]#[ mostly bc everyone he confided in is dead ]#[ he’s good at putting up a front ]#[ showing juuuuuuuuuust enough to avoid suspicion ]
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L is playing daycare teacher while I do my homework for the day. Apparently one of her kids got out of the classroom- I overheard her very responsibly ensure that the other teacher in the room (Grandma) was watching the kids in the classroom so L could go look for the escaped child- and apparently she could not find them.
She came downstairs and searched "my" classroom and announced that she couldn't find the baby and they were missing. She took one more look around, said "oh my shit" and went back upstairs while I tried my hardest not to bust up laughing
#maam? where did you even get that from adzfkfhsjlfjlf#it certainly was not her teachers. i am confident because i work with them and they would not say that in front of the kids lol#and we keep the swearing to a mininum at home#who even says 'oh my shit?'#why did she put those words in that order lmfao
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I think Modern Au Suletta would be a Glass Child
#Eri would probably have a chronic illness that kept most of the Samaya/Mercury family at the hospital#Suletta loves her sister but clearly doesn't realize the neglect she's experiencing#like it got worse when Nadim (?) died and Prospera/Elanor would sometimes guilt trip Suletta whenever Suletta tries to ask for something#Suletta ending up just not asking or speaking up on anything#and feeling lonely and sad makes her guilty cus she has it better than her sister#Eri is still able to do stuff but just very limited activities and she's just always fatigued#i feel like Eri would feel like shes an awful older sister bcs of her condition#They both love each other so much they fill each other's loneliness.#sorry ive been thinking about this so much.. its microwaving in my head and i cannot draw it rn#Eri puts up a more confident but also a chill front because Suletta is usally so anxious#heheheh#im just making up angst#man#i miss g witch#g witch#gundam the witch from mercury#gundam#suletta mercury#ericht samaya#the witch from mercury#elnora samaya#prospera mercury#Nadim samaya#i think#i forgor
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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continuing the tradition, heres my art summary for 2023! (though i must admit, i cheated on december's by working on it a little more during this january)
as always, heres a link to last year's. and hey, while im at it, heres a link to all of the previous years. wow! thats 12 years worth of art
#pivart#art summary#soooo much tagcen in here. its 75% tagcen. i love my ocs......... its almost as if i made them in a lab. specifically. for me. (i did)#i didnt end up posting march or july anywhere online... ahhh... im sorry...#also didnt post december but thats cuz i wanted to find the actual photo source first and... i havent had much success on that front. help#everything else can be found on my sketchblog. well... besides may. which was posted here on main#should i put together the links for each month's full image posts?#i like the idea of doing that but i dont know if that'd be cool or useful or helpful for anyone to justify the effort.#and if its just for me... well... i know how to search my own blogs. im confident i could find whatever quickly
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