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fortheloveofwonderland · 1 year ago

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Rusty | Chapter 6 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - Spencer struggles with thoughts of his assault before giving you your first riding lesson. Just as things seem to be going well, you’re shocked to find Spencer in the midst of a dissociative break.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - mentions of sexual assault and use of “rape” several times, talk of therapy and a deep dive into Spencer’s therapy journey, stress inoculation therapy, prolonged exposure therapy, erectile dysfunction, graysexuality and demisexuality, mentions of male masturbation, blood, dissociation, self-harm.

WC - 6.3k

Chapter 6 - Tumbling Tumbleweeds

Spencer didn’t not wake with a start, nor did he wake slowly. His mind undulated long before he opened his eyes, ebb and flow, ebb and flow.

The thoughts were undiluted and raw, building worlds behind his eyelids whilst he was still barely semi-conscious.

He was cognisant of the hard shell beneath his back, pressing, prodding his aching spine. The lingering chlorine scent of bleach was attacking his nasal cavities, tickling, scratching.

He was aware yet he was not. He was asleep yet he was alert. Conscious sleep. It was a self preservation tactic he’d taught himself after his first sexual assault.

The ability to be aware of the self, but not of the body or surroundings during non-dream sleep. It was a form of deep meditation, requiring him to distance himself from his physical nature.

The hardest part was getting rid of the mental blockage clouding his mind to achieve such a state. It was the very psychological clutter he had to banish which was the cause for needing this coping mechanism in the first place.

It was a way to help him rest enough to replenish his energy supply but would keep him responsive enough to perceive a threat.

It hadn’t come easy to him at first but once he’d mastered it he often found himself falling into this state without meaning to.

He knew the signs upon awakening, how he would never feel quite as rested as if he’d slept properly, how he could recall various movements and noises during the night.

And this was how he found himself this morning, not quite asleep, yet not awake. He knew it for what it was and it would be easy for him to rouse himself completely. But once he allowed himself to reach that fully conscious state he would have to face reality and for that he wasn’t quite ready.

But it was inevitable. The bleach was starting to burn his nose, causing his stomach to turn violently. He knew it was unlikely he had anything left in him to vomit after last night but it didn’t stop him feeling nauseous.

His fingers of his right hand twitched against the floorboards, his mind starting to flicker, reality just within his grasp.

He was in an incredible amount of pain. He had pushed himself way too hard since his accident and every part of his body from the top of his head down to his toes growled in agony.

He didn’t wait to let himself adjust to the wakefulness, he forced himself to his feet before the pain grew any worse. He tried to ignore it and went to the bathroom for some Tylenol and his paroxetine.

He knew what needed to be done. Maybe it would be easier while his mind wasn’t yet fully with it.

Shuffling back to his bedroom he opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled out a manilla folder and a few other items which he set in his lap.

His good hand trembled as his fingers brushed over them and he hoped to keep his brain in this foggy just woken state for a little while longer so he might be able to do this.

When he’d moved to Bandera he’d gone through two separate courses of therapy to try and help him process what he’d been through.

The first was Stress Inoculation Therapy, a psychotherapy technique intended to help patients prepare themselves in advance to handle stressful events successfully with minimal upset.

SIT was broken down into three stages - education, skill building and application. His manilla file was full of papers regarding the first two stages.

His therapist had given him information and encouraged him to do his own research on rape and sexual assault factors. Spencer didn’t need to do his own research as it was all already in his head.

It was supposed to teach cues that triggered the trauma within him but again, it wasn’t hard for him to understand what those were. Sexual contact. Alpha males. Loss of control.

During the skill building his therapist had tried to help control his fear reaction. He had been encouraged to use mental rehearsal and guided self talk. He opened the folder and flicked through the pages to find the small scrap of paper with his own scrawly handwriting on.

I was sexually assaulted, but I am not a victim. I was coerced but I am not weak. I am in control of my own body, of my own mind. I will not let them win, I will not let them ruin my life.

I didn’t deserve what happened to me. I am a good person. I am a strong person. I will move past this. I won't let them break me. I am still worthy of love and affection. I am still whole.

I am still whole.

He gripped the paper, his nails digging into the flimsy material as he read his own words over in his head. His chest heaved and he clenched his jaw tightly.

It was supposed to serve as a reminder to himself that this wasn’t the be all and end all of his life. He’d suffered something exponentially cruel, for which he didn’t deserve but it wasn’t the end of his life.

He was still whole, whether he believed that or not. This self penned affirmation was supposed to help him remember that.

He tucked the paper back between some other sheets so he didn’t have to look at it anymore. It wasn’t supposed to be the end of his life but it damn near felt like it.

The application stage of SIT was the biggest bump in the road. His therapist encouraged him to use his new skills to engage in the fearful behaviour which in his case was sexual contact.

It had taken him weeks to even attempt this part. He’d told his therapist of a man named Grant who owned a nearby ranch and worked part time at a local BBQ joint. He was around Spencer’s age and undeniably handsome.

He’d caught Grant’s eye on occasion in town. The two often exchanged smiles in the general store or whilst passing on their respective steeds. Spencer knew well enough that Grant was interested in him.

At his therapist's encouragement, after weeks of her trying to prod him to take this next step, eventually Spencer had asked Grant to join him for a drink. Grant had readily accepted.

Spencer had been more nervous than he ever remembered being as he got ready for his date and rode Willow down to the 11th Street Bar.

But he never made it inside. And after standing Grant up, the man never even so much as made eye contact with him again.

His therapist explained, although Spencer already understood this, that due to the nature of his assault being carried out by men, it might be easier for him to ease himself back into the engagement of this behaviour with a woman.

Spencer shut this idea down. He’d always been slightly more interested in men, in the few sexual encounters he’d experienced with either gender, he always found being with men more fulfilling.

And thus she had suggested another form of therapy when he couldn’t move past the second stage. This time was Prolonged Exposure Therapy.

This somehow was more gruelling than SIT. It involved him having to recount, in intricate detail, his rape over and over again.

He had to recall the sounds, the smells, the feelings. He had to dive deep into what he experienced before, during and in the aftermath.

Again and again. Over and over. It was only on approximately the fiftieth recitation that he’d let slip that he’d gotten erect during the act.

It was a piece of information he’d decided early on into his therapy he was going to keep undisclosed. Obviously it was incredibly pertinent, but Spencer already felt vulnerable enough and didn’t want to admit this facet to his therapist or even himself truly.

His therapist had cut him off with a simple, “ah”. She went on to explain that this was a salient part of why he may not be able to let himself move past his assault and lightly chided him for not being more forthcoming with this earlier.

He’d reluctantly then had to explain in great detail his apparent erectile dysfunction and the guilt he suffered over getting aroused while they assaulted him. This had then led her to ask about his sexual history.

He’d been adverse at first, not thinking his past could bear any weight on what he was currently experiencing. But even geniuses were wrong sometimes.

He gave a brief rundown on his limited past experiences including - much to his embarrassment - his feelings towards self stimulation.

After going into too much detail for his liking, his therapist had offered him an explanation, able to give a name to what he was experiencing.

In her opinion, it sounded like graysexuality. People who identify as graysexual feel infrequent sexual attraction, less desire to engage in sexual activity. That’s not to say he never did, but his impulses were few and far between, even before his ordeal in prison.

It was on the same spectrum as asexuality, and stems from the idea that sexuality isn’t black or white and there is a gray area that many people fall into.

She didn’t believe it was anything to with libido after he’d reluctantly spoken in depth of his and Luke’s sex life. Prior to prison, they could barely keep their hands off of each other, often spending entire days off together in the throes of passion.

When she’d told him her understanding of the term, graysexuals don’t see sex as important, not in the way some others do. They do feel sexual attraction but not very often and only in certain circumstances.

She also believed he may fall somewhere on the demisexual spectrum as his most intense physical relationship had been Luke, someone he had a prior emotional bond with.

When Spencer had grown confused and questioned how he could be both she’d simply told him that orientation was constantly switching, sexuality was a spectrum and we are consistently roving up and down the scale.

Years later he would be sitting on his porch with you, a woman he barely knew and explaining his sexuality in much the same manner as his therapist had explained to him.

It made sense to him, he understood and it made him feel a little better to know that there were words that existed to describe what he was feeling. He made him feel less alone, knowing that he wasn’t the only person that was going through these things.

As was par for the course with Prolonged Exposure Therapy, his recital of his abuse was recorded. One of the items in his lap was the cassette tape of his own full admission of what he’d gone through at Milburn.

He’d never listened to it, he couldn’t bring himself to, no matter how much his therapist tried to encourage him to do so. It was supposed to help distance himself from it, listen to the confession from the sidelines as though he were a bystander.

“Doctor Reid, as an agent with the BAU I can only imagine how many times you had to listen to people recount the horrible things they’d gone through. Hearing your own retelling might allow you to be objective the way you might be with a victim interview.”

She was right and he knew it. But he couldn’t listen to it. He knew he never would.

Exhausting most of her options on a patient who often seemed as though he didn’t want to get better, her final instruction before Spencer stopped seeing her was for him to at the very least make a concerted effort to try masturbating more frequently.

After she’d dropped that frankly horrifying piece of advice, Spencer had never returned to her office.

He stuffed the folder and cassette away again, shaking his head at his own intrusive train of thoughts. Revisiting this was not going to make things better, he had to power on, accept the things he couldn’t change as his former drug rehabilitation taught him.

If only it were that easy.

He forced himself to shower despite the pain he was in, before dressing and eating a bowl of cereal in a thinly veiled attempt to energise himself for the day ahead.

***

When a gentle knock sounded at the door of the lodge you were sitting on the edge of the bed with a towel wrapped around you after your shower.

You scrambled to quickly throw some clothes on but by the time you made it to the door, swinging it open, no one was there.

Brows furrowing you looked around and caught a glimpse of Spencer’s retreating form as he limped in the direction of the stables. He’d barely given you time to answer, what had he even bothered knocking for?

Shaking your head you went to recede back inside but noticed something on the floor in front of the door.

A red tray, the likes of which reminded you of high school, lay on the porch with an array of items on top.

You bent down and lifted the tray, careful not to drop anything while you stepped back in the cabin and nudged the door closed with your hip. You cautiously carried it to the kitchen counter and set it down.

A large mug in the shape of an octopus had steam rising from it and after a cursory sniff you knew it to be honey and lemon tea. Next to it, a small glass containing thick, pulpy orange juice.

The bowl in the centre of the tray housed cereal and there was another small glass filled with milk presumably to pour on it.

Wedged under the spoon was a small scrap of paper with almost completely illegible writing scrawled on it. It took several minutes to ascertain what it said.

I’m sorry about last night, I hope that things can remain amicable between us. I’ll be at the stable if you feel like joining me. I’d understand if you didn’t.

Spencer

A smile crept to your lips and you pocketed the paper. You downed the orange juice in one before pouring the milk upon the cereal and taking the bowl and mug of tea over to the couch.

It was almost impossible not to feel slightly scorned by his sudden change of demeanour last night. The way he’d changed so dramatically, like a light switch had been flicked had hurt and there was no other way around it.

But that’s not to say you didn’t understand.

It was startlingly apparent to you that Spencer had suffered some kind of psychological trauma, possibly even physical trauma. You wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’d endured some kind of sexual assault judging by the way he panicked at the simple act of your hand palming him through his slacks.

Or were you just drawing connections where there weren’t any? He’d said himself his sexuality wavered across the spectrum, perhaps when it came down to it, the possibility of being with a woman hadn’t appealed to him and he’d overreacted.

You didn’t intend to bring it up either way so you supposed you could either bother yourself worrying about it or just let it go.

You chose the latter.

You ate your cereal and drank the tea before brushing your teeth. You went to slip your sneakers on but before you reached the door, you had a change of heart.

***

“I only called because…no, no…you have to stop - please. No…I said…please just listen to me for a moment? Yes, I know…I get it I do. I-I…you’re not letting me speak. You have to…it’s been two years I…no. Please? I just want…need…to heal. Yes. No. Please can you…yes, yes I know. I need…space…more space. In time I might…I don’t kn - no, no. Okay. Thank you…I’ll try…you too.”

You told yourself you hadn’t meant to eavesdrop again on Spencer’s phone conversation. When you’d approached the stable you’d heard his voice and at first assumed he was talking to his horses.

But his feverish tone and staggered breaths gave you pause. You didn’t want to interrupt or interfere so you’d hung back.

When he hung up the phone you could only assume by his fractured expression and slightly trembling hand that he’d been talking to his ex - Luke you reminded yourself - the strangely familiar Luke.

He was sitting on a wooden chest in the far corner of the stable, opposite Willow’s paddock. He slotted the phone into his pocket and leaned forward, his casted arm cradled against his stomach while his other elbow rested on his thigh.

His hand scored up and down his face, kneading between his brows, pinching his nose, rubbing his scratchy facial hair, back up to the nose, the brows and so on.

You waited a little while longer to enter for two reasons. One, if you strolled in now he’d know you’d heard something and two, he clearly needed a moment.

You leaned against the side of the stable and counted slowly to one hundred in your head before you moved back toward the door and opened it.

The creaking of the hinges alerted Spencer to your presence and he immediately looked up, plastering a smile on his face you knew wasn’t genuine.

“Oh, uh, hi.” He cautiously pushed himself up, groaning a little as he did so. “I, uh…wasn’t sure you’d be…here.”

You offered him a smile in return, taking a few steps into the stable, trying to ignore the watchful eyes of the large black horse.

You felt an uneasy pang in your chest as you took him in. He wore a pair of black jeans which fit him so well it should have been illegal, paired with a dark green button up flannel shirt. His black stetson had been replaced by a beige one with a large brim.

His hair seemed to be perfectly curled beneath the hat as though he’d spent hours on it. The few days worth of stubble growth on his face made him appear rugged.

He looked delectable and it didn’t seem fair.

“Thanks for breakfast.” You spoke as you got a little closer.

“Oh it’s no problem, I uh…” his eyes wandered, downwards to the floor and he trailed off as he noticed the fire engine red boots on your feet. His eyes snapped back up to your face. “You’re wearing the riding boots.”

“I am.” You nodded. “You’re astute.”

“You’re willing to learn how to ride?” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

“I don’t feel as though I have a lot of choice in the matter, seeing as you can barely walk.” You chuckled lightly.

“Full disclosure, I have never taught someone to ride a horse before.”

“This is going to be fun then.” You started towards Willow’s paddock, placing your hands on the gate keeping her enclosed.

“Oh, uh, you won’t be riding her just yet.” Spencer’s voice stopped you before you could open it.

You looked at him over your shoulder with confusion.

“Why?”

“She’s more of a handful. You need to be a lot more experienced before you can handle her. But Franklin is a great horse for novices.” He moved down towards the black horse which was still giving you a stern look.

“Him? No way. He hates me.” You shook your head.

“He does not.” Spencer scoffed, unlatching the end gate.

“He looks at me funny.” You grumbled.

“Did you try giving him attention?” Spencer swung open the gate and stepped inside.

Franklin shuffled closer to him and bowed his head until it was resting on Spencer’s shoulder. In turn Spencer stroked his mane and cooed in his ear.

“He doesn’t like to be ignored.” Spencer cradled the stallion's head while you took a few cautious steps closer.

“He’s a horse.” You clucked somewhat indignantly.

“A horse with feelings and a personality.” Spencer laughed, fingers brushing to and fro in his mane. “Frank is sensitive. Willow gets most of the attention around here and he feels that deeply. Wilbur is aloof, doesn’t need the same level of attention. As long as he’s being fed and groomed he’s pretty content.

“Willow is my main companion and she goes everywhere with me and it does grate on Frank. He gets jealous I suppose. He would have seen you bringing Willow home and thought there’s someone else who prefers her over me. I’d bet you didn’t even try to engage him?”

“He scared me, I guess, the way he was looking at me. I didn’t want to get my hand bitten off.”

To this, Spencer laughed again, edging himself away from Franklin and closer to you. He held out his good hand palm side up, fingers spread.

“Put your hand in mine, back of the hand to my palm.” He looked at you encouragingly.

You swallowed thickly, tentatively stepping inside Frank’s paddock. You did as Spencer instructed and cradled the back of your hand against his palm.

Spencer’s fingers thread through yours and moved both your entwined hands closer to the horse's head.

Spencer didn’t have to do all the work as Franklin met you halfway, practically forcing the side of his face into your palm.

He made a soft sound of content by way of air rushing out of his large nostrils as he nuzzled against you. Spencer wiggled his fingers, which moved yours too, so you were scratching the horse's coarse head.

“See?” Spencer smiled at you. “He likes you already. Try taking your other hand and brushing it through his mane, he likes that.”

Rolling your lip between your teeth, you raised your other hand towards his hair. You curled your fingers and brushed your knuckles through his thick, dark mane.

Once again Franklin huffed out a breath of thanks. A soft giggle left your lips at the sound he made and Spencer was smiling to himself, unable to stop watching you.

Even when you started moving your hand of your own accord, Spencer kept his fingers laced with yours, allowing you to move his too.

“Maybe he’s not so bad.” You agreed, making quiet clicking sounds with your tongue against your teeth which Franklin seemed receptive to.

“Trust me when I say he’s the horse you want to practise on. Wilbur’s all about speed, Willow is tempermental unless you know her like I do. But Frank is as laid back as they come.” Reluctantly, Spencer let his hand slip from yours but you continued stroking him.

“Okay, so how does one ride a horse?” You asked without looking at him.

“One must first learn how to properly saddle a horse.” He chuckled, limping back over towards the wall where the saddle equipment hung.

Spencer had already fitted Franklin’s bridle which was tied to the fence in his paddock in anticipation of this. He grabbed one of the brushes off the wall and limped back over to you.

“First we’re gonna need to groom him.” He sidled around you, side stepping you and trying to ignore the pulsing in his knee as he trod precariously.

You heard the overt puff of air leave his lips and glanced at him, at the reddening in his ears and cheeks, his stiff jaw.

“You okay?” You removed one hand from Franklin and reached for him but he brushed you off.

“Fine, fine.” He shook it off. “Just, keep doing what you’re doing.”

His jaw remained clenched while he went about brushing down Franklin’s back and you remained stroking his face. Spencer gave attention to the horse's sides, his belly and rear before running the brush through his tail and then passing it to you to do the same to his mane.

Keeping one hand on Franklin’s snout you used the other to brush his knotty locks and he huffed again in appreciation.

Spencer hobbled around you, back to the wall and then returned with something for which swapped with you for the brush.

“This is a saddle pad. It helps protect his back and keep the saddle in place.” He guided you without touching you to Franklin’s left side. “It wants to sit just below his mane.”

You draped the slightly squishy fabric over Frank’s back, as instructed, letting it rest just beneath the stallion's mane.

“Is that okay?” You looked back at Spencer who was nodding.

“Perfect. Can you…” he nodded towards the wall. “Grab the saddle closest to us?”

He was bent over a little, massaging his knee between his fingers. You understood that he was struggling with the simple back and forth.

You slid past him and unhooked the saddle from its wall mounted position and carried it back into Frank’s paddock.

“So this is the saddle horn,” he pointed to one end which protruded from the leather saddle, almost looking like the top of a stick shift. “You want this at the front. Place the saddle on his back just like with the pad…yep that’s it. Toss the stirrup and the cinches up so they are out of the way.”

You did as he said before turning to him with a flourish of your hands.

“I’m a natural.” You joked.

Spencer simply rolled his eyes.

“Give it a little rock back and forth to make sure it’s sitting comfortably. Great, looks good and make sure the centre of the saddle is lined up with his spine.” Spencer inspected it himself. “The stirrups should be even on both sides and the saddle should be just below his shoulder blades.”

You fidgeted with the saddle a little, ensuring it was in the correct position. Spencer shuffled it down slightly before giving a nod of approval.

“Okay now we need to secure the front cinch, this is really important. So you’re going to pull the cinch under his belly, towards you, and slip the latigo strap down through the cinch buckle. Pull it all the way through and make sure neither the cinch nor the latigo strap are twisted.” He pointed out each new thing he explained.

“Like this?” You worked on following his instruction.

“Perfect. Now lift the latigo and slip it through the saddle’s D-ring, from outside-in and leaving the ring angled towards the left. Make the cinch snug, but not overly so. Do the same again a few times if there’s still a lot of length left in the latigo strap. Yeah, that’s great.” He nodded.

Spencer continued to talk you through the process and you followed each step. When confused you asked questions and he was quick to explain himself.

You then moved onto securing the rear cinch. Franklin remained still throughout the whole thing, clearly used to this procedure.

“Great, that looks great. Now if you were on your own you’d untie his reins from the fence before mounting him but in the interest of everyone’s safety I can untie it after you’re up.” Spencer took a step back.

“Okay, how does this part work then?” You gulped, a sudden flood of nerves washing over you.

“You’ll be fine,” Spencer tried to sooth you, sensing your fears. “Step up on that mounting block for me.”

You turned around and spotted the little wooden steps you assumed he meant and climbed up them. Spencer meanwhile clicked his tongue at Franklin and with a series of hand gestures the horse was moving into place next to you.

“What are you, the horse whisperer?” You scoffed.

Spencer placed his hand on the side of Franklin’s neck to keep him still although Franklin could usually be trusted he didn’t want to take any chances.

“Okay use your left hand to grip the saddle horn and your left foot in the stirrup. That’s it. Rest your weight on the ball of your foot, shift your body weight onto your mounting foot and swing your other leg over the top of the horse. One swift move.”

You sucked in a breath and before you could let the nerves get the better of you, you took the leap. Using your left foot to take most of your weight, you swung your right leg up and over his body, plopping down into the saddle and making Franklin jolt a little.

“Oof, careful. Next time try to slowly lower yourself down.” Spencer chuckled, giving Frank a pat. “You alright boy?”

“Sorry,” you baulked.

“It’s okay, he’s tough, he can handle it. Get your right foot in that stirrup.” Spencer rounded the horse, making quick work of untying the reins from the fence. “Right I’ll keep hold of these while we head up to the field. Once we’re in there I’ll give them to you and give you some pointers. You good to go Frank?”

With a light tug on the reins, Frank neighed at his owner before he jolted forward. You wobbled in the saddle, your right hand joining your left on the horn and holding on for dear life.

Spencer used the reins to guide Franklin out of the stable and briefly let them go so he could latch the door closed behind you.

Moving again and you wobbled once more, the ground beneath you not entirely level and you felt yourself swaying side to side.

“You sure this is safe?” You whined a little.

“Very, Frank knows what he’s doing, trust me.” Spencer chuckled.

“I, uh…whoa, Jesus.” You groaned as you wobbled to the left. “This does not feel natural.”

“Tell you the truth, I hated horse riding when I first moved out here.” Spencer told you as he led the horse up towards the field.

It was a slight incline and you felt yourself slipping back a little, hitting the raised back of the saddle and whining a little.

“You? Mister big tough cowboy?” You clucked but your voice gave way to your nerves.

“Not always the case. I had these crises of faith where I just thought, what the hell have I done? I don’t even like horses!” He chuckled. As if he understood, Franklin made a noise of frustration. “Calm down Frank, that was a long time ago.”

“What was it about this place for you? You wanted to get away, to escape your city life, I get that. But why here specifically?” You tried to hide the tremor in your voice as Franklin dipped while he walked.

“I wanted a simple life I guess.” Spencer shrugged, looking a little wistful. “My whole life people have depended on me, ever since I was a little kid. I’d been in the same job since I was twenty two years old and although I loved it, it took a toll on me, both mentally and physically. I couldn’t keep up with the demands and I’d always appreciated the idea of living off the grid with nothing but land and animals to rely on me. It’s…I suppose it’s rewarding in its own way and I still needed something to occupy me so I figured why not this.”

You mused over his words, your eyebrows furrowed whilst trying to ignore the way you bucked as Franklin moved.

“Spencer, you weren’t a psychology professor, were you?” You dared ask.

His back straightened a little as you reached the brow of the hill and he continued down as you had to brace yourself on the horn.

“No, I wasn’t. I mean, yeah I was for a while. I lectured from time to time. But no, it wasn’t my main profession.” He confessed, swallowing thickly.

“What did you do?”

“If it’s okay with you, I don’t want to talk about it. I spent fifteen years of my life being defined by my job and part of the appeal of this place is that no one knows who I was in my former life. I might tell you, one day, but for now I’d rather not be that person anymore.”

You couldn’t argue with that. You also favoured not being defined by your past. It didn’t matter where he’d come from, what he’d done for a living, the same way it didn’t matter where you’d been. All that mattered was the two of you were here now.

“Understood. I don’t mean to pry.” You replied and Spencer offered you a small smile in return. Still holding onto the saddle horn for dear life, the path started to flatten out but was still bumpy under Franklin’s hooves.

Soon you came across a large fenced off area with a ravine babbling just behind it. Spencer had to briefly drop the reins so he could open the gate before leading Frank inside.

You watched Spencer inquisitively. You did understand not wanting to reveal too much of your personal life but it didn’t stop you wanting to know more about him.

He was a mystery, you couldn’t work him out. But you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him. Maybe one day he’d feel comfortable opening up to you, and perhaps you’d even return the favour.

But for now he remained an enigma.

***

After a fairly rocky first horse riding lesson in which you were convinced you were going to die at the hands of this horse, you helped Spencer clean the stables and feed his animals.

He made sandwiches for lunch as well as honey and lemon tea. After lunch he’d introduced you to his cattle.

When he noticed you wincing as you walked he offered you some hydrocortisone ointment, telling you it was normal for your thighs to chafe when you were learning to ride.

The ointment helped and it was a good job too as you had to walk into town to collect your car. Spencer tried to insist he could cope with the walk but you’d seen the way he’d been grimacing all day and you insisted he stay behind.

You found an ice pack in his freezer and forced him to sit down and ice his knee. It didn’t take a lot of convincing.

He’d called in an order at Busbee’s BBQ which you would collect while you were in town for dinner.

It was little under a two mile walk which you didn’t remember being so long in your drunken state yesterday. The sun was setting and thankfully the heat and humidity had died down but it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.

You found the BBQ joint with relative ease, just a little way down the road from where you parked your car the previous day. A handsome man named Grant handed you your food with a dazzling smile. You tipped him generously.

You made quick work driving back to the ranch and carried the food up to Spencer’s lodge, your thighs rubbing from your walk and the horse. You headed up the stairs, the light from the living room illuminating your path.

Spencer wasn’t where you left him on the couch and the ice pack was discarded on the floor in a little puddle where it had started to melt. You weren’t sure why but the hairs on the back of your neck were standing to attention in an instant, your gut telling you something wasn’t right.

You put the bags of food on the kitchen counter and padded towards the closed bedroom door, taking quiet, even steps. You breathed silently, pressing your ear against the wood.

You didn’t hear much other than slightly ragged breaths, sharply inhaling and then exhaling with aggression. Your first thought was that Spencer was indulging in some alone time and you almost turned and left, not wanting to invade his privacy again.

But then you heard a sound which was more of a moan of pain than one of pleasure. He’d been struggling all day with his knee, that much was obvious. Maybe he needed some assistance.

You gently rapped on the door with your knuckles and called his name. No response. You tried again but still no reply.

You weighed up your options. On one hand you didn’t want to irritate him by just barging in, he might not be responding because he didn’t want to see you. But on the other hand he could be really hurt and would you be able to forgive yourself if you didn’t try to help?

You knocked again, spoke his name a little louder. You were met with no more than a grunt.

“Spencer?” You tried again, louder still. “Spencer, I’m going to need you to let me know you’re okay.”

Yet more silence.

“Spencer, if you don’t answer me I am going to come in. If you don’t want that then tell me now, otherwise I am opening this door.” You paused, held your breath. No answer. “Fine, I’m coming in.”

You gripped the handle, pushed open the door.

A cursory glance around the room and your heart tightened in your chest, your body momentarily going limp at the sight in front of you.

Spencer sat on the edge of his bed, naked from the waist up. At his feet on the floor were the smashed remains of his old cell phone. But that wasn’t what alarmed you.

In his limp right hand a silver piece of metal glistened as it caught the light. But it was his left bicep for which you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

His left bicep and the fresh open wound which was spitting with blood, caking his arm, dripping onto the bed sheets.

But the scariest part of all was how Spencer didn’t even seem to notice. He didn’t seem aware that you were even there.

His expressionless eyes were trained somewhere across the room, his chapped lips moving as though he were chanting.

“S-Spencer?” You croaked but he didn’t register you.

You swallowed, unsticking your tongue from the roof of your mouth and cautiously approaching him. When you drew closer you could hear a haggard, monotone whisper of words leaving his lips.

You crouched in front of his eyeline to try and get his attention but even when he had nowhere else to look, his eyes bore through you like you weren’t even there.

And he continued to mutter under his breath, “I am still whole. I am still whole. I am still whole.”

@kalulakunundrum @small-and-violent @voledart @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years ago

Text

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 10 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 11

Summary : You are there for him in the moments of insecurities.

Warning: mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, Melissa, some much needed steam , 5k words (if I was dividing this chapters we would have had 15 chapters by now), Discussion of Erectile dysfunction and Impotency (it will make sense i promise)

“I’m here to take revenge for last night, you lied to me sweetheart, you didn’t think I’d let it slide so easily, did you?”

You looked where you thought he was because you could feel the heat radiating off his body or in his case, the cold breeze. He smiled as he saw your confused expression so he placed his finger on your jawline and turned your face so you were looking right at him. Of course you couldn't really respond to him and he was going to have so much fun with that prospect but at first he had to make sure you were comfortable with him causing such nuisance, the last thing he wanted to do was irk you with his behavior.

He noticed the black cocktail dress that went past your thighs and you looked divine as usual, he hardly ever saw you in colors that weren't black.

You gulped as his arms wrapped around you again and he placed his lips on your neck to suck on it lightly, both of your palms clenched onto the edge of the counter, he was going to be the death of you today but boy you'd be lying if you said that you weren't just thinking about him and had not desperately wished for him to be there. Strangers and social situations always made you anxious so him being there was calming for your soul even though he came there to mess with you.

You wondered if people could tell you were getting your neck sucked like this, probably not

"Princess" he whispered in your ear before he kissed your earlobe so you hummed in your mouth, thankfully nobody had their eyes on you, except that weird guy from 5th floor who couldn't stop staring at you.

"Is this alright? I can leave if this is bothersome, i would never want to hurt you like that" your mouth opened slightly as he said. You didn't want him to leave. Please don't leave.

You looked up and shook your head lightly, hoping he'd understand the gesture.

"I'll stay" a small smile crept on your lips as he said that.

"Hii…Y/n can you make a sandwich for your mom?" Mrs Geller said to you so you nodded. Why were you nodding still?

"Yeah ofcourse…ummm should we get the music going? You know danciiiiinhgg" You said excitedly as you rolled around your arms, hitting Loki right in his torso. It probably just felt like a tickle to him though. You walked towards the living room and before she could even answer you used the stereo to play the music and you made sure it was loud.

This way you could pretend to lipsync without being suspicious. You stepped back into the kitchen and got behind the counter to make the sandwich and then you felt him holding onto you from behind, his lips latched onto your neck again and your hands were starting to shake because of the tingling sensations you were feeling all over your body. And inside your body.

"Loud noises, nice play darling, but it's still not going to be enough"

"I'm going to kill you" you mumbled as you bobbed your head to the rhythm of the music and he chuckled

"But what if I kill you first?" you gasped at the comment but you had no time to react because your mom was walking right towards you. Why did that comment arouse you? You had issues.

"Let me know if at any point of time you'd want me to turn her into a frog"

You chuckled as he whispered in your ear and your mom looked at you confused,

"What happened?"

"Uhhhh nothing..just .. some people look so funny when they're dancing" she turned around to look but nobody was actually dancing there.

"Here…are you having fun?" You asked her as you passed her the sandwich so she smiled.

"Yeah you know Becky wants me to stay here, girls night she said" she giggled so you smiled at her. You were so used to calling Mrs Geller as Mrs Geller that you almost forgot she had an actual name.

"But I told her that I was going to stay with you sooo" Oh no stay here. Stay here. That way Loki could spend the night at yours.

You felt his fingers playing with the zipper of your dress and you gulped as he lowered them down a little.

"Maybe I should take this off right now and put you in my clothes, haven't stopped thinking about it since last night sweetheart"

"Ohhh dear God" you mumbled so your mom looked at you all perplexed.

"Is everything alright with you? You look drained"

Not drained. Wet. You were wet.

"No I just..you can stay here, I mean you guys have become such good friends right?" she hummed as she munched on her sandwich.

"Friends? Like us?" He whispered

"Definitely not like us"

"What?"

"I mean that she likes you so much and it would mean alot to her, it's her birthday and you know..her husband passed away a few years ago, she's lonely" you said to her and her face contorted in sadness.

"That's so sad, okay maybe i'll stay here"

You smiled so wide as she said that, she went back to the living space to tell her that she was going to be staying here. Thanks Mrs Geller.

"You want something to eat?" You mumbled as you looked down so other people won't see you talking to yourself.

"No but you need to be fed, make one for yourself"

"Not hungry"

"Do it"

"Yes sir"

Erection charm stat.

He couldn't stop touching you while you were making the sandwich, his hands trailed down from the side of your waist and you took a deep breath as his fingers pulled your dress up and caressed the insides of your thigh.

"Look at you, you're trembling like a leaf" he whispered in your ear and it only made the matters worse for you.

"I know you adore my cold temperature but I always wonder if you'd be sensitive to extreme cold" you glared at him as he said that. "Perhaps i should put the theory to a test" he conjured an ice cube and you felt it rubbing against your bare back, it almost knocked the wind out of your chest. Your knees felt weak, if it wasn't for him holding you so tightly you probably would have collapsed.

"I wish I could watch you suck on it" "Okay alright"

You got away from his hold because you felt afraid you'd moan or do something worse, grabbing the plate of your sandwich you stepped out of her kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

Mrs Geller asked you so you smiled so widely that it seemed unnatural.

"I'll be right back I just uhhh..i don't like eating in front of people " she looked at you for a moment before she shrugged

"Ohh okay come back though..we have cake "

"Definitely I'll be right back " you walked out of her apartment and quickly went into yours, you kept the door open and you smelled his cologne as he walked in, that's when you shut the door with a thud and he made himself visible. His long hair seemed as if he had just shampooed it, he was in his Asgardian garb, a long black tunic with the same colored pants, you walked towards the kitchen to put the sandwich down, glaring at him all the way.

"You think you're funny huh?" You stormed him so he smiled.

As soon as you reached closer he picked you up in his arms and kissed you as passionately as he could, it's been more than 24 hours and you had tortured him last night with that little teasing play.

He sat down on the sofa with you on top of his lap in the usual position.

"That was a reckless thing to do" you mumbled between the heated kisses and it made him smile.

"Well I am reckless"

You got even closer to him, almost sitting on his crotch , your hips moved slowly on him and the moan that escaped deep from his chest was something that would keep you wet and your fingers working late at night. But then you didn't feel anything as you moved against him, he wasn't hard, like at all, now you may not have had plenty of experience in this department, you hardly ever stayed zoned in whenever you had sex with those men, by men you meant those two men you actually dated but atleast you knew he was supposed to be hard. Right?

You pulled away from him and shifted yourself back onto his thighs

"What happened?" He asked you so you smiled, your lips latched onto his neck and he leaned his head back on the couch as you placed your hand on his clothed cock and rubbed it slowly.

Should he stop using the charm? You wanted to touch him right?

You pulled away from him and he was looking at your hand movements while you were looking at him

"Lo?"

"Mmmhmm"

"Oh baby ..it's okay " you cooed to him and it only confused him further.

"What?"

"You know..that " you gestured towards his cock and it took him a few second to realize what you meant. Did you really think he couldn't get an erection? You pressed a soft kiss on his cheek then you pecked his lips to comfort him, you just hoped he wasn't embarassed by it, maybe you shouldn't have pointed it out.

"So it is okay that I can not get it…up?" you looked at him as he said that.

"Ohhh honey..it is okay..it's alright, it really doesn't matter" he chuckled at the response.

"It does not matter?"

"I mean it's more common than you think..it happens alot..yeahh" you brought your hands up and started to massage his shoulders for some reason, you seemed nervous and you were trying to not hurt him in anyways. Okay maybe he can have a little fun with this.

"Well it would certainly matter when I am not able to fulfill your desires" you bit on your lip as he said that,

"Umm has it always been this way?"

"Ofcourse not, it's only since I found out about my heritage, it is some kind of defect in our genes, we can not get it up for some reason" ohh that's why you never felt him get an erection while you two cuddled so intimately.

"Ohh I'm sorry baby, it's going to be okay I promise" he bit on his cheek to hide his smile as you comforted him with sweet words and gentle kisses, your fingers caressed his scalp.

"That is it, that is all you have to say?"

"Mmmhmmm"

"So you do not care about this?"

"I care about you lo"

Okay he started this joke but now he was actually getting sentimental. Were you really just going to be okay if he actually was impotent?

"What about sex, your needs? I'm assuming we were going to do that at some point" you looked into his eyes as he said that.

"Well there are ways.. several other ways, it's really not a big deal for me I swear to god, i swear on you" you assured him again and it made him smile, his eyes did seem teary though.

"You're so precious my darling" he cupped your cheeks and kissed you as passionately as he could, his fingers waved once and then he grabbed your hand to put it back on his crotch.

"Lo I know.." you were going to say something to comfort him further but then you felt it, you felt him hardening instantly at your touch. God of mischief right? Ofcourse he was messing with you.

"I see..that was a prank"

He smirked as you said that but as you started to rub your hand up and down, the smugness was wiped off his face

"I was using a charm all this time" he gulped as the sensation began to build in the pit of his stomach, why was he such a putty in your hands?

"Why?"

"To..ahhhh–" he moaned as you cupped his bulge with your hand, he felt so big, you have never felt anything like this before "Didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable"

"Well who is precious now?" You cooed in his ears.

"I am still in awe of you willing to stay with me despite that situation" you tilted his head as she said that and then you stopped touching him.

"What kind of girl do you think I am? Do you think I'll just ditch you if you're having some stupid performance issues?" You crossed your arms and he sighed.

"Well isn't fornication an important aspect of a romantic relationship?" He asked as he tucked your hair behind your ears and caressed your cheek with his fingers because he could feel you were starting to get agitated a little.

"Look loki ummm.. would you leave me if I was ..ummm.. Wait, what's the female equivalent of erectile dysfunction?" you got off his lap as you started to think about it "Oh my god there's nothing.. ohh wow you guys really do have to stress about this thing huh?" He smiled as you said that.

"I don't..i am a god"

"Ofcourse"

"Come here" he raised his hand forward so you sighed before you placed yours on his and sat down on his lap again.

"Would you leave me if for some reason I can't have sex with you?"

"Noo"

"Well why? Isn't hornyfication an important aspect of a romantic relationship?" He smiled and cupped your cheeks to kiss you before he answered.

"Someone once said that there are several other ways to derive pleasure"

"Are you stealing all my answers?"

"Yes, because you're so good at them"

You giggled as he said that.

"No but really answer me, would you not want me anymore if I couldn't do it the traditional way for some reason? By calling it traditional I'm assuming that's how you do it in Asgard and frost planet as well..like the whole dick in vagina process" he laughed as you said that.

"I'd always want you sweetheart, because there is a friendship involved and I value that relationship more than anything"

"Okay I'm going to steal your answer and say ditto" he smiled.

" Besides we are just friends who kiss sometimes"

"And don't see other people" you retorted.

"And don't see other people"

You smiled and kissed him again, you weren't lying to him or trying to get into his good books, you just cared about him way too much to let anything ruin this bond for you two. He was a precious baby and deserved all the love, you were glad though that he was able to get hard because you weren't able to stop touching his bulge since he had magicked the magic away from it.

"I'm afraid I would do something dirty if you'd continue to touch me like this" he giggled but his breathing got heavier as you gave him a squeeze "Call me baby again "

"Awnnn you like that?"

"Mmmhmmm it makes me feel so small, so tiny in your arms"

"Well you're anything but small, I can tell you that little babyyy" you whispered in his ear and he placed his head between the crook of your neck to suck on it

"Ohhhh darling"

"Are you going to stay the night?"

"That is so licentious of you madame"

You chuckled as he said that. You were going to pretend you understood whatever he meant by the word.

"I had to beg Thor to bring me here, I can stay but I'll have to leave early in the morning"

"Godd make me stop..i can't stop" you bit on your lips as you continued to caress his clothed cock so he grabbed your hand and lifted it up, you both needed a moment to calm down after that "Mmmm well atleast I got you for a few hours and Mrs Geller is keeping my mom so yayyyy" you kissed his forehead and he purred like a kitten.

"Did you tell Thor that you appreciate his help?"

You questioned him as you got off his lap. You really wanted to eat that sandwich now. Wow being horny sure made you hungry.

"Noo" his voice came out so meek so you looked at him. Their relationship always bothered you, you knew both of them cared about each other but so much had happened that it must have been difficult for them to talk to each other now.

"He's doing something nice for you..just tell him you appreciate it, that's it" you told him so he hummed. You took a bite of the sandwich and it was so good you couldn't possibly deprive him of that could you?

"You eat this one, I'll bring more, I don't think we need dinner after this oooh and there's cake" he smiled at your excitement so you leaned down to kiss him briefly before you went back to Mrs Geller apartment.

That night he stayed and you cuddled him like usual, the only problem was he wasn't really trying to hide his beastly erection anymore so it kept rubbing against you all night, you barely got any sleep, how could you when all you wanted to do was hump against him like a bitch in heat.

As soon as he went back to the tower he had to go train with Cap. For some reason Rogers was in a nasty mood today so he took it all out on Loki, there were several cuts and bruises on his face and he looked way worse than he usually did.

"Gotta say your brother is a better fighter than you any given day" Rogers said to him but he ignored it. He could have killed him right there if he wanted but he didn't want to waste his energy. As he stepped out of the training room he found Melissa and Thor chatting up like old buddies in the hallway. What in the name of hornyfication?

"Geee were you both trying to kill each other in there?" Thor smirked as he looked at Loki, Melissa came forward and tried to touch his cheeks but he stepped away,

"Awnn baby you're hurt"

"I'm not a baby, I'm a god, address me as such"

"Calm down Loki, she's your lady, respect her" Thor teased him, he probably found the situation funny but Loki didn't find it amusing at all. There was an awkward silence amongst the three before Thor spoke again

"Oh I have to go polish my hammer, have a good day lady Melissa, pleasure talking to you" Thor took her hand to give it a formal kiss, making loki roll his eyes.

Loki was about to walk past her but she spoke out of turn again.

"You know your brother is so much better than you could ever dream to be Loki?" he didn't miss the venom dripping from her words

"Then why don't you go fuck him?" He was done being respectful.

"I wish I could, he's so much hotter and sexier, so manly, and ohhh he would never get so bruised like a peach in a fight, no wonder he wasn't discarded at birth and no wonder your daddy picked him over you all your life" she smiled as she finished her sentence before she walked past him.

He shouldn't have allowed her words to affect him, she meant nothing to him and she just wanted to hurt him for whatever agenda she had ongoing but her words still reminded him of who he was, he was the second best, the villain, he could never achieve greatness in his pathetic life because he was merely a pawn in everyone's game.

He stood under the cold shower and tried to forget about the whole day, he truly wished he was free to just stay with you, at least you won't hurt him like this.

He walked towards the mirror and those bruises somehow made him look uglier, he slowly morphed into his jotun form, his natural form, but he couldn't even look at himself for longer than a few moments, that bald protruded head, those monstrous ruby eyes and those scales on his skin only made him feel disgusted. His eyes welled up even more as he continued to look at himself.

He felt so alone in the moment, all he wanted to do was talk to you and hear your voice so he quickly put on pants and sat down on his bed to dial your number.

"Hi, are you missing me already?" He heard your voice and it made him smile between the tears,

"I always do" he heard you smiling at the comment.

"Lo I'm going out with mom and Mrs Geller so I won't be able to talk but, can I see you later? She'll leave in the evening" he nodded as you said that but you couldn't see him, he wished you could have stayed longer and he knew you would have if he was to tell you the truth about how he was feeling at the moment.

"Sure darling" you smiled as he said that, for some reason he sounded sad, maybe you were overthinking but his voice didn't have the usual chirp

"Are you okay ?"

"Yes I am Princess, enjoy your day, I'll see you soon hopefully" he lied to you and you paused for a few seconds before you answered him.

"Okay ummm..I.. take care okay?"

"You do that too"

He hung up the phone and now you felt anxious, why did you have to go right now? Maybe he wanted to talk about something?

You tried to keep yourself distracted throughout the day but his sad voice kept ringing in your head, you almost yelled and screamed at your mom when she started to discuss how much she hated Loki and why she thought his image makeover was just another political agenda.

When she finally left you decided to shower and you kept looking at your phone to see if he'd call but he didn't, you even dialed on the telephone number but he didn't pick up either.

"Aren't you going to see your lady today?" Thor asked him, he was looking for Loki and he was nowhere to be found so he went to the roof and there he was, sitting on the ledge as usual. It always terrified him whenever he found him there because of what had happened that night on the bifrost.

"Oh I just saw her, I am assuming you're talking of lady Melissa right?" Loki snapped at him so Thor sighed deeply.

"I was just joking, lighten up" he chuckled.

"Your jokes have never been humourous Thor"

"Look i didn't come here to fight, if you want to go see lady y/n now is the time" Loki stood up, ofcourse he wanted to see you and hug you, and kiss you.

"Where do you go after you drop me off?"

Loki questioned him and Thor's face flushed all of a sudden.

"Nowhere, i come back here"

Loki squinted his eyes at the response, he knew Thor was lying but he didn't want to get into it for now.

You were in the kitchen making tea when you heard the knock on your window so you ran towards it. You smiled as you looked at him but you noticed those awful cuts and bruises on his face.

"You are hurt" you made him sit down on the sofa and he sighed.

"It will heal"

"How did you get hurt lo?"

"Captain was in a sour mood, he went hard on me"

"And you.. didn't fight back?"

"I didn't want to"

"Why??"

"I don't know"

"You're a god, you're much stronger than them all, don't let them treat you like this" You huffed as you said that, your eyes seemed teary though "Besides what are they even training you for? You are a prince, have been in battles and wars, you know how to fight"

His brows furrowed as he looked at you, the puppy look on his face immediately melted your anger so you climbed on his lap, you weren't angry with him but for him and he understood that but he didn't want you to be so upset because of him.

"Is that why you called, you felt hurt, that's why you called?"

He nodded so you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, then you placed soft kisses on his cheeks one by one, making sure to kiss all those wounds before you pecked his lips

"Why didn't you tell me?" He didn't look up as you questioned him, a tear rolled down from his left eyes so you wiped it with your thumb

"What's bothering you baby, talk to me" his arms wrapped around your waist and he put his head down on your chest for a moment before he hid his face between the crook of your neck.

You immediately embraced him in a bear hug. He told you what Rogers said and what that horse Melissa said to him. How dare she say something so cruel to him? She was lucky you weren't there at the time.

"You are not going to listen to her and take her lies to your heart are you? She's just being nasty because you won't give her the attention she thinks she deserves from you" you said to him in an affirmative tone.

"But she didn't lie, did she? She said what I have heard all my life, he's better than me, he always has been and the only person who never discriminated between us was our mother, but in the end she chose him didn't she? She chose him over me" your eyes welled up at his words, his mother claimed to love him but if she really did then why didn't she tell him the truth? Why did she allow her childrens to hate on Frost Giants when she knew Loki himself was the one? Probably it wasn't your place to judge but you were judging her.

"And how unfortunate that is lo? Not for you but for them, I'm sorry you were made to feel as if you were someone to be forgotten like that but you are not, you are Loki, you're a god, a majestic powerful god and you deserve to be treated like one, you deserve to be loved for who you are and I don't know about everyone else but I'll always choose you over anyone else, always" he sniffled before he placed his head down on your chest again.

Maybe that's all he needed to hear today, he just needed to be chosen for once, he just needed to be prioritized and that need couldn't have been fulfilled by just anyone, he desired it from you, only you. You once said to him that you wanted to be there for your man for those rough and difficult moments, he knew you surely meant it and those weren't just words. He stayed engulfed in your arms like a child for as long as he needed before he pulled away,

"For a god I sure do weep a lot " you smiled as he complained.

"And that's absolutely fine, crying is good you see, you feel better now?"

"A little, but not enough" he mumbled so you kissed his forehead then his nose and finally his lips.

"You look so pretty, your cheeks are flushed, lips so red, you're the prettiest thing I ever known of"

"I am not" he wasn't looking at you but playing with the fabric of your shirt as he spoke, your words definitely made him feel bashful.

"Okay maybe I can pamper you some more, would you like that?" You asked him and that made him look up, he didn't miss the tender voice you were putting on just for him, he had always desired to be treated like this so when it was finally happening he couldn't even believe his luck.

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Would you like more kisses maybe or hugs? Cuddles? Or maybe something naughty" you whispered in his ear before your lips trailed down to his neck. He was squirming in your hold and you couldn't fathom how a god was so affected by your touch, did you really affect him this way or he was just too nice to deny you?

"Explain Naughty, what does it entails?" he asked you so you smirked before you lifted your hips up and scooted even closer to him so you were sitting on his crotch,

"A bit of this" your hips gyrated back and forth and it made him moan ever so timidly, his cheeks were flushed again, as much as you hated those bruises on his face they did give him an edge, he looked so battered and hurt and you just wanted to keep pampering him in every way until he was all healed and happier.

Your palm cupped his bulge and he placed his head down on the back of the sofa, you felt his fingers digging in your hips but it wasn't hurtful, far from it.

"A bit of that" you mumbled against his mouth before you kissed down from his jawline,

"Darling" he let out a whiny little noise of resistance so you looked at him "I want this, I do…norns I want you to keep going..I just.."

"Too soon?" You asked him so he shook his head. It wasn't too soon for him but maybe it was for you, you wanted to take things slow and he knew once you both were to indulge in anything this sexual he wouldn't be able to stop and he didn't want to do anything with you that you'd regret later, you meant too much to him for you to regret him like that.

"It's okay baby, it's ok" you stopped teasing him and cupped his cheeks to kiss him as lovingly as you could "Goddd you're so cute" you giggled.

"Cuter than those puppies you seem to adore?"

You looked at him as he questioned, a devious smile evident on his face

"Equally cute..okay moreeeee" you mumbled nervously and it made him chuckle but then his eyes moistened again.

"Thank you princess "

"Well it's just the truth"

"No..for.. everything..i really needed this"

"You have me lo, i promise, i have you baby" he sighed in contentment as you hugged him tightly.

A part of him wanted to reveal everything there was to him, all those ugly parts that he wanted to show you, perhaps you'd still find him cute in his natural state, it certainly was a wishful thinking but there was a possibility that it could happen or maybe he'd make you feel disgusted, maybe you wouldn't want to touch him at all once you see him all blue and bald and scaly, that possibility scared him, but he knew he'd never show you those parts of him again if you'd feel offended by his true self, he knew if you were to be disgusted by his real self then he'd willingly suffocate and kill that giant inside him just to appease you.

He knew he'd do anything for you as long as you'd continue to hold him and care for him like this. And that's what scared him the most.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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yooo-gehn · 9 months ago

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A late night rant about sex

A porn star once had an erectile dysfunction right in the middle of shooting porn, he just couldn't get it up, so you know what he did? The naked super sexy lady on top of him was just not arousing him, so he grapped his phone, and played his favorite porn clip, and shazam, he was back in the game. How crazy meta is that? A porn star needed porn to be sexually functional! Even when he knows exactly how unreal it is. I know it's easy to use this story to condemn porn, but actually screw that.

All I was thinking is damn, sex is never ever as simple as feeling aroused by mere naked bodies. It's a whole complicated very personal world we are taught to automatically feel ashamed of. It's a personal mood, taste, kink, type, fetish, and of course, it starts and ends in the mind. So much so that when it comes to turning yourself on, you can't do it because someone is naked and going down on you, you can only do it with seducing your specific mind with what it sexually craves.

But we are collectively and extremely sex starved that we become nations of hungry people eating the first thing they manage to put in their plate, for a starved person doesn't get to pick what they eat. They go for the bare minimum, or less. That porn star who couldn't get it up still have a better sex life than most people I know. We talk a lot about how bad porn is to the mind because it confirms our worldview, so nobody talks about how bad our actual sex life is, we are either masturbating alone as our little dirty secret, or we are denied our right to even admit we have personal nontraditional sexual cravings, cause you'd instantly be a filthy animal.

I read an article once in Psychology Today about how porn psychologically affects the sex life of married couples, bearing in mind we're Not talking about porn addicts who consume porn excessively, and you know what it basically said? The therapist didn't preach us about how porn automatically damages our sex life, but rather said what I always thought, that couples who had no problem with porn, found it arousing and helpful, and other couples who were uncomfortable with it, found it to be harmful, and consider it disloyalty if they found out their partner watches porn.

So your personal beliefs and preferences can make or break your sexual experience? And manifest itself physically? There's no "one ring that rules them all"? No ultimate manual or guideline that applies on everyone of us? Go figure.

You know, Napoleon once sent a letter to his wife saying "Home in three days, don't bathe", and it never grossed me out, in fact, it felt genuine, intimate sex as it should be, sex IS gross, we're fancy apes, who worry too much about looking our best, like it's a goddamn performance test. Like the brain doesn't fire bursts of electrical impulses from nowehere to nowehere during sex. Like it's not all about how ripe the moment is, how ripe your labia is, how ripe your cock is, how ripe your whole state of being is, and to be with a person who knows how to play the instrument of your body, cause they know, cause they made it safe for you to say, is sexier than every porn clip and every meaningless sex and every traditional soulless sex.

There's been a trend that looks down on passion cause it's a luxury for those who can afford it, missing the fact that just because something is out of reach, doesn't mean it's not important. We adapt to not having passionate lives by claiming it's silly to try to find our passions in life. But you know what eventually happens? We become a porn star doing his job and not be able to command his body to betray its nature. We become a porn star who sooner or later wouldn't be able to get it up.

#تأملات في الجنس

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molsons112000 · 2 months ago

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So when you have bulging veins, it causes blood flow issues, sluggish blood flow, and that could lead the blood clogs. Especially if you're black and have extremely high levels of platelets... so with four out of five black women being obesed, they're more likely to have these bulging veins, causing sluggish circulation, adding to their obesity, cause bulging veins also causes metabolism issues... they also cause tissue to be undernourished with nutrition and oxygen, causing faster decay of tissue as well as problems with bone marrow and bone strength...

When veins bulge or become twisted, as they do when someone is affected by varicose veins, blood flow through them can become sluggish or slow. This can cause superficial blood clots, also known as superficial thrombophlebitis, phlebitis, or superficial venous thrombosis.

https://www.stoptheclot.org › bloo...

Blood Clots and Varicose Veins

People also ask

What deficiency causes bulging veins?

It your Vitamin D levels are low then your veins may start to struggle which then puts you at risk of venous issues such as varicose veins.

https://www.theprivateclinic.co.uk › ...

Are Varicose veins caused by a vitamin deficiency?

Studies indicate that inadequate levels of Vitamin K can increase one's chances of developing varicose veins. This vitamin comes in 2 forms: K1 and K2.Feb 4, 2019

https://www.physiciansveinclinics.com › ...

4 Vitamins to Vanish Varicose Veins

Oh, bulging veins cause sluggish circulation. Sluggist, circulation causes metabolism issues. Leave proper blood flow is critical for proper metabolism.... And if you're gaining weight, it could mean if you don't have bulging veins that you could have a blockage.... Yes, extra weight gain could mean you have coronary artery disease somewhere... they have to amelize blood flow into the digestive track and the rate of blood flow. Oh. You have to eat something at the doctor's office and then relax and let them monitor blood circulation into the digestive track...

When your circulation is compromised, your metabolism may slow down. And that means you may gain weight, even if your diet and exercise routine remains the same. At the same time, poor circulation can keep you from losing weight, regardless of your exercise or dietary efforts.Jun 2, 2023

https://texaseva.com › posts › how...

How to Improve Circulation and 6 Signs You Need to Do It

So you can use Doppler ultrasound to record blood flow into the digestive track. And there could be a blood flow issue, and doctors need to understand this, and this can cause obesity... but they could also have coronary artery disease or blockage somewhere in the cirplatory system, causing sluggish blood flow.If they don't have bulging veins and bulging veins can again cause sluggish blood flow, because they can get blood clots....

National Institutes of Health (NIH) (.gov)

So to find issues with blood flow, doctors can look at doppler ultrasound, and they can watch your blood flow in real time... Remember, this is a handheld device, so they can do it anywhere on the body, even looking at blood flow into the penis to see if it's a blood flow issue for a rectile dysfunction or a psychological issue... Sometimes erectile dysfunction is psychological, not physical. The psychological causes the physical...

Doppler ultrasound is a noninvasive test that can be used to measure the blood flow through your blood vessels. It works by bouncing high-frequency sound waves off red blood cells that are circulating in the bloodstream.

https://www.mayoclinic.org › faq-...

Doppler ultrasound: What is it used for? - Mayo Clinic

So again, this is another way for doctors to analyze blood flow. Now we can use this also to monitor the lymphatic system...

Oh, you can see here doppler.Ultrasound can monitor the flow of fluid and blood cells through the lymphatic system, making sure the lymphatic system is working properly....

National Institutes of Health (NIH) (.gov)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › NB...

Sonography Vascular and Lymphatic Assessment ...

by B Covello · 2023 — Doppler ultrasonography utilizes Doppler shift to determine the rate at which red blood cells are moving through the

I also say you can use a c t scan.It's a monitor flow of the lymphatic system...

How do you check lymphatic flow?

CT scan. This X-ray technique produces detailed, cross-sectional images of the body's structures. CT scans can reveal blockages in the lymphatic system.Nov 24, 2022

https://www.mayoclinic.org › drc-2...

Lymphedema - Diagnosis and treatment - Mayo Clinic

National Institutes of Health (NIH) (.gov)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › pmc

Diagnostic Efficacy of Ultrasonography, Doppler ...

by HÇ Tunçez · 2023 · Cited by 3 — A recent study found that combining USE with the US examination serves to increase the accuracy of

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

A framework for the modeling of gut blood flow regulation and ...

by AD Jeays · 2007 · Cited by 29 — This paper reviews current knowledge on blood flow regulation in the gut vasculature, presents new

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psychogeniced · 5 months ago

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#psychogeniced #psychogenicerectiledysfunction #ed #erectile dysfunction #psychosexologist #psychosexual

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awkward-ghostt · 9 months ago

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An overview of premature ejaculation

Sexual problems can have an effect on a man's life to the extent that they can ruin his sex life completely. Of these problems, premature ejaculation is one of the most find out more here commonly experienced sexual problem. Read further to learn about its symptoms, causes and treatment.

Sexual health is a major concern for men, especially when it comes to making them feel self conscious about their sexuality. Many of the sexual problems are such that can leave a man embarrassed in front of their partner. And as the problems continue, a man can slowly start being distant from his partner and even avoid situations that can lead to sexual encounter. Sexual problems in men can also be a reason for breakups and divorces in extreme cases. This is mostly because men are hesitant in sharing their problems with their partner, or seek medical assistance. But this is again because sexual problems, in earlier times, were considered a taboo. Some of these sexual problems include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation problems and problems related to libido.

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is one of those major sexual problems that can hinder a man's sex life. As a you can experience early ejaculation, or reach climax earlier than either you or your partner desire. As such there is no specific time which can be said as being too early for ejaculation, but in general a man normally may take from around 8 to 15 vaginal thrusts to 30 minutes. Men who are suffering from premature ejaculation usually have ejaculation within just a minute or two of vaginal penetration. The neurotransmitter serotonin is said to play a major role in bringing about ejaculation. So when the serotonin level droops in your brain, it brings about the premature ejaculation symptom. This is the reason why Priligy, which belongs to the SSRI (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors), has proven to be very effective.

What are the causes of premature ejaculation?

Sexual excitement is the prey of a notion, that the control and modulation that one brings about are a part of learned behaviour. If a man has learned or gathered the facts incorrectly or inadequately, then he might end up with suffering from Physical factors such as neurological conditions can also be responsible for bringing about premature ejaculation. Infection of the prostate gland or urethritis can also be the causes of premature ejaculation. With the increase in substance abuse, those men who are suffering from withdrawal symptoms are likely to suffer from premature ejaculation. Psychological factors such as anxiety, stress, guilt, depression and lack of confidence can also cause premature ejaculation.

How can Priligy help in the treatment of premature ejaculation?

Dapoxetine is the only prescription medication that is available for the treatment of premature ejaculation. Dapoxetine is the active ingredient present in the pill, which improves the serotonin level in your brain, in order to control your ejaculations. Men who have been taking this pill have benefited to a great extent and some have also been able to gain control over their ejaculation. This pill is available in the dosage strengths of 30 mg and 60 mg, which can be safely taken by those who are 18 years or older. But Priligy should be avoided by men who are above the age of 64 years. You are required to take one pill at least one to three hours prior to getting engaged in a sexual act.

#youtube

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gautamayurveda2 · 9 months ago

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In today's world, discussing our intimate concerns openly is recognized as crucial for maintaining overall well-being. This is where sexologists play a pivotal role. These professionals specialize in addressing a wide range of sexual health issues, providing individuals with a safe space to express their concerns and seek guidance. When it comes to finding the best sexologist in Delhi, individuals can benefit from the expertise of renowned professionals who have dedicated their careers to understanding and resolving sexual health issues. Seeking the assistance of the best sexologist in India ensures access to comprehensive and confidential support, fostering a healthier and more informed approach to intimate well-being.

What is a Sexologist?

A sexologist is a trained professional in the field of sexology, a discipline that focuses on understanding and addressing human sexuality. These experts work with individuals and couples, employing a holistic approach to tackle a wide range of sexual concerns. Unlike other medical practitioners, sexologists go beyond the physical aspects of sexuality, delving into the emotional and psychological factors that influence sexual well-being.

Role of a Sexologist:

Sexologists play a multifaceted role, encompassing various aspects of sexual health. They not only diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation but also offer guidance on enhancing sexual pleasure, improving communication between partners, and promoting overall sexual health and wellness. A key element of their role is creating a safe and non-judgmental space for patients to openly discuss their concerns.

Qualities of a Reputable Sexologist:

When seeking the assistance of a sexologist, certain qualities are paramount:

Trustworthiness and Confidentiality: Trust is the foundation of any therapeutic relationship, especially when discussing intimate concerns. Reputable sexologists prioritize strict confidentiality, adhering to ethical guidelines to ensure the privacy of personal information and discussions.

Open Communication: An effective sexologist encourages open communication, allowing patients to express their concerns, questions, and expectations. This fosters a collaborative approach to treatment.

Sensitivity and Empathy: Given the sensitive nature of sexual health issues, a good sexologist demonstrates empathy and sensitivity. They understand the vulnerabilities associated with these concerns and approach their patients with compassion.

Importance of Sexologists:

The importance of sexologists in 2024 cannot be overstated. In a world where sexual health is an integral component of overall well-being, these professionals contribute significantly to individual and relational flourishing. By addressing both the physical and psychological aspects of sexuality, sexologists help people lead healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Problems a Sexologist Can Help You Overcome:

Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Erectile dysfunction refers to the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. A sexologist can diagnose the underlying causes of ED and recommend appropriate treatment options, such as medication, lifestyle changes, or counseling.

Premature Ejaculation (PE): Premature ejaculation is characterized by the inability to control or delay ejaculation. A sexologist can provide techniques and strategies to manage PE, such as behavioral exercises, desensitization techniques, or medication if necessary.

Low Libido: Low libido, or a persistent lack of sexual desire, can have various causes, including hormonal imbalances, stress, relationship issues, or certain medications. A sexologist can help identify the underlying factors and suggest interventions to restore sexual desire.

Sexual Pain Disorders: Conditions such as dyspareunia (painful intercourse) or vaginismus (involuntary vaginal muscle spasms) can significantly impact sexual satisfaction. A sexologist can evaluate the causes of sexual pain and recommend treatments, including physical therapy, counseling, or medical interventions.

LGBTQ+ Sexual Health: Sexologists play a crucial role in providing support and guidance to individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. They can address unique concerns related to sexual orientation, gender identity, coming out, and navigating relationships.

In conclusion, the field of sexology and the role of sexologists in 2024 are integral to fostering healthy sexual lives. By understanding the complexities of human sexuality and offering personalized solutions, sexologists contribute significantly to individual and relational well-being. When seeking the assistance of a sexologist, it's essential to prioritize qualities such as trust, open communication, and empathy to ensure a positive and effective therapeutic journey. Dr. Inderjeet Singh Gautam is one of the top sexologist in Delhi, you can consult with him for any sexual disorder and get well with ayurvedic treatments.

#best sexologist in delhi #top sexologist in delhi #famous sexologist in delhi

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westcoastmenhealth · 10 months ago

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Men's Health Erectile Dysfunction

Need to find Men's Health Erectile Dysfunction? Donot worry about! We are here to help you. Erectile dysfunction (ED) can significantly impact men's health and quality of life. It's characterized by difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection sufficient for sexual activity. Causes range from physical factors like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and obesity to psychological factors such as stress and anxiety. Treatments include lifestyle changes, medications, therapy, and in severe cases, surgical intervention. Open communication with healthcare providers and partners is essential for effective management. Addressing ED promptly not only improves sexual function but also contributes to overall well-being and relationship satisfaction.

#ED problem in male #How to cure erectile dysfunction naturally

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vodkavains · 1 year ago

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The Causes of Premature Ejaculation

It has been estimated that 20% of males between the ages of 18 and 59 are regularly affectec by premature ejaculation. There are many possible causes of premature visit site here ejaculation, and the good news is that the situation is probably treatable. Knowing the cause can help determine the cure.

If you are someone who has just experienced premature ejaculation for the first time in your life, you might want to skip this article. Often in his life, a man will temporariily fall prey to one or another of the many possible causes of the problem.. In other words, premature ejaculation, even in a healthy male, is not that unusual or uncommon.

If you are regularly experiencing this affliction, and some have experiencied it for years, knowing the causes of premature ejaculation may be the first step to putting and end to premature ejaculation.

It helps to know that you are not alone! It has been estimated that 20% of males between the ages of 18 and 59 are regularly afflicted with the problem.

So, what causes premature ejaculation in otherwise apparently healthy males in the prime of their sexual lives? Do they have some strange virus or incurable disease, or are they just nuts?

Research does show that the root causes of premature ejaculation are usually psychological, but that does not mean you are nuts, nor that only a shrink can cure you. In fact, a lot IS known about the subject and there are plenty of techniques and advice available for a little practical self-help.

Basically, premature ejaculation is usually the result of an emotional or mental hangup. For example, men with erectile dysfunction, which is also often treatable either through medications such as Viagra or Cialis, or through improvements in physical or emotional condition, may have concerns about sexual performance.

Slightly complicating any discussion of the causes of premature ejaculation is the fact that "premature" is a hazy concept, and any orgasm or ejaculation can be termed "premature" if it occurs before the two parties (usually two, but one never knows these days) want it to. There is no concrete medical standard for a time limit that distinguishes a "premature" ejaculation from...well, a mature one, I guess!

However, premature usually means that both parties are disappointed with the result. Of course, this can be complicated by the fact that women take longer to achieve full sexual arousal and the female orgasm can often occur long after even a non-premature ejaculating male has given up and fired his only shot. It is easy in this situation for a man to take what may be a relatively small problem and make it bigger (poor choice of words). This is an example of one way in which a certain amount of easily treatable difficulty can begin to loom large in the mind of the man, thereby encouraging the condition to get worse.

#youtube

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prematureejaculationdoctor · 2 years ago

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Psychological Premature Ejaculation Symptoms

Psychological Causes

● Stress

● Lack of emotional understanding with your partner

● Depression

● Low opinion of yourself, anxiety, guilty

● Shaky confidence

● Sexual suppression

● Fear of losing an erection can lead to Erectile Dysfunction

#Ejaculation Symptoms #mens sex health #premature ejaculation treatment #online consultation for premature ejaculation #mens premature ejaculation

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motivelinks · 8 hours ago

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Sexologist in Hisar: Your Guide to Sexual Wellness

Sexual health is an essential component of overall well-being, yet it remains a topic many shy away from discussing openly. In Hisar, individuals and couples facing concerns related to sexual health and intimacy can now access professional support from expert sexologists. These specialists help patients address sensitive issues with confidentiality, empathy, and evidence-based solutions.

Understanding the Role of a Sexologist

A sexologist is a medical professional who specializes in diagnosing and treating sexual health issues. These may include physical, psychological, or relational factors affecting an individual’s sexual well-being. Common concerns addressed by a sexologist include:

Erectile dysfunction

Premature ejaculation

Low libido

Pain during intercourse

Infertility

Psychological barriers like anxiety or depression affecting intimacy

Why Seek a Sexologist in Hisar?

For residents of Hisar and surrounding areas, having access to a qualified sexologist is crucial. It ensures that individuals and couples can seek professional guidance without needing to travel far. Whether the concern is physical, hormonal, or psychological, expert intervention can significantly improve one’s quality of life.

1. Comprehensive Care

Sexologists in Hisar provide comprehensive evaluations to determine the root cause of the issue. They use a combination of medical tests, counseling sessions, and lifestyle assessments to design personalized treatment plans.

2. Confidential and Supportive Environment

Given the stigma often associated with sexual health concerns, sexologists in Hisar prioritize patient confidentiality. Their clinics are safe spaces where individuals can discuss their problems openly without fear of judgment.

3. Advanced Treatments

With advancements in medical science, sexologists in Hisar offer cutting-edge treatments, including hormone therapy, counseling, medications, and minimally invasive procedures.

Top Reasons to Consult a Sexologist

Sexual health issues can arise from various factors, including lifestyle choices, stress, hormonal imbalances, or underlying medical conditions. Here are some common scenarios where consulting a sexologist becomes necessary:

Erectile Dysfunction: A prevalent issue among men, erectile dysfunction can result from stress, poor lifestyle habits, or medical conditions like diabetes or cardiovascular diseases.

Premature Ejaculation: Premature ejaculation is a common concern that affects self-confidence and intimate relationships. A sexologist can recommend therapies and medications to manage this condition effectively.

Low Libido: Diminished sexual desire can occur due to hormonal changes, mental health struggles, or relationship issues. A sexologist addresses these factors holistically.

Painful Intercourse: For women experiencing pain during intercourse, conditions like vaginismus, endometriosis, or hormonal imbalances may be to blame. Treatment often involves a combination of counseling, medication, and physical therapy.

Fertility Challenges: Infertility can strain relationships, but many underlying causes are treatable. A sexologist can work alongside fertility specialists to address issues affecting conception.

Sexologist Services in Hisar: What to Expect

1. Initial Consultation

The journey begins with a thorough consultation, during which the sexologist gathers medical history and discusses concerns openly. This step helps build trust and ensures a tailored treatment approach.

2. Diagnostic Assessments

If necessary, diagnostic tests like hormone panels, imaging studies, or psychological evaluations are conducted to identify underlying issues.

3. Personalized Treatment Plans

Treatment plans may include medications, therapies, or lifestyle changes to address the root cause effectively. Some patients may also benefit from couples’ counseling sessions to improve communication and intimacy.

Guru Jambheshwar Multispeciality Hospital: A Trusted Name in Hisar

One of the most reputable healthcare facilities in Hisar, Guru Jambheshwar Multispeciality Hospital offers specialized care for sexual health concerns. The hospital is known for its state-of-the-art facilities, skilled professionals, and patient-centric approach.

Why Choose Guru Jambheshwar Multispeciality Hospital?

Experienced Specialists: The hospital’s sexologists are highly trained and experienced, offering expert care tailored to each patient’s needs.

Advanced Technology: From diagnostic tools to treatment options, the hospital utilizes the latest advancements in medical science.

Confidential Care: The hospital ensures complete privacy for all patients, creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

Holistic Approach: Beyond addressing physical symptoms, the hospital focuses on mental and emotional well-being, providing comprehensive care.

Overcoming the Stigma Around Sexual Health

Despite increasing awareness, discussing sexual health remains taboo in many societies. This reluctance often prevents individuals from seeking timely care, leading to unnecessary suffering. Consulting a sexologist in Hisar can break this cycle by offering professional guidance and practical solutions.

Success Stories: Transforming Lives

Sexologists in Hisar have helped countless individuals and couples overcome challenges, restoring confidence and intimacy. Their work is a testament to the importance of seeking expert care for sexual health issues.

Conclusion: Take Charge of Your Sexual Health

Sexual health is integral to overall well-being and should never be ignored. If you’re facing challenges in your intimate life, seeking the help of a qualified sexologist can make all the difference. In Hisar, Guru Jambheshwar Multispeciality Hospital provides exceptional care for a wide range of sexual health concerns.

Don’t let stigma or hesitation hold you back. Take the first step toward a healthier, happier life by consulting a sexologist in Hisar today. Your journey to better sexual health starts here.

Visit us at: Agroha, Hisar, Haryana

Call us today to book your session: +91 896 866 8079

#sexologist in Hisar #health

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bestsexologistinjaipur · 24 hours ago

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Sexual health plays a vital role in overall well-being, yet it often remains an overlooked or sensitive topic. Vivan Hospital in Jaipur is a leading destination for individuals seeking professional and confidential assistance for sexual health concerns. As one of the best facilities in the city, Vivan Hospital provides specialized care under the guidance of experienced sexologists who aim to restore confidence and improve quality of life.

Expertise in Treating Sexual Health Concerns

At Vivan Hospital, our expert sexologists address a wide range of issues affecting men and women. Common concerns include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low libido, infertility, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Women can also seek help for conditions like pain during intercourse, hormonal imbalances, and other sexual health challenges.

Each patient receives personalized care with treatments tailored to their unique needs. The hospital emphasizes understanding the root cause of problems through a combination of medical evaluations, lifestyle assessments, and psychological counseling.

Why Choose Vivan Hospital?

1. Experienced Professionals: The hospital is staffed by highly qualified and compassionate sexologists who use evidence-based techniques to diagnose and treat conditions.

2. State-of-the-Art Facilities: Equipped with modern diagnostic tools and treatment methods, Vivan Hospital ensures accurate and efficient care.

3. Holistic Approach: The hospital’s approach integrates medical, psychological, and lifestyle factors to offer comprehensive solutions.

4. Confidentiality Assured: At Vivan Hospital, your privacy is of utmost importance. All consultations and treatments are handled with strict confidentiality.

Counseling and Support Services

Sexual health issues often affect self-esteem and relationships. At Vivan Hospital, counseling services are available to address emotional and mental health concerns related to sexual difficulties. The hospital offers both individual and couple’s therapy sessions, helping patients and their partners rebuild trust and intimacy.

Contact Vivan Hospital

Take the first step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. Vivan Hospital in Jaipur is committed to providing compassionate, effective, and confidential care for all your sexual health needs.

If you are experiencing any sexual health concerns, don’t hesitate to seek expert guidance. Schedule a consultation today at Vivan Hospital, where your well-being is our priority. Let us help you regain confidence and restore balance in your life.

For appointments, call or visit our website. A better tomorrow begins with the right care today!

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#sexologist in jaipur #best sexologist in jaipur #sexologist doctors in jaipur #top sexologist in jaipur

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edgepeptide · 2 days ago

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ED Treatment Redefined: Restoring Confidence and Intimacy

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition that affects millions of men worldwide, creating challenges not only in physical intimacy but also in emotional and psychological well-being. The journey towards understanding and addressing ED can often feel overwhelming. However, with significant advancements in medical science and therapeutic approaches, effective ED treatment options are available that can restore confidence and intimacy in men’s lives. One such innovative approach can be explored through the principles outlined by wellness brands like Edge Peptide Therapy, which emphasize a holistic and personalized method of care.

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is not merely a physical ailment; it encompasses a range of emotional and psychological components that can affect a man’s quality of life. The causes are multifaceted, including medical conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, and hormonal imbalances, as well as lifestyle choices like smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and lack of physical activity. Additionally, psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, and depression can exacerbate the situation. Understanding these underlying causes is crucial in tailoring an effective treatment plan that addresses both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition.

At its core, ED represents a disconnect between the mind and body. When a man experiences difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and diminished self-esteem. The societal stigma surrounding erectile dysfunction may further complicate the matter, leading many men to avoid discussing their experiences or seeking help. This silence can perpetuate a cycle of emotional distress and relationship strain. A comprehensive approach to ED treatment focuses not only on symptom relief but also on fostering open communication and understanding between partners.

The Importance of Personalized Treatment Plans

Each individual’s experience with erectile dysfunction is unique, which is why a one-size-fits-all approach to treatment often falls short. A personalized treatment plan begins with a thorough assessment of the patient’s medical history, lifestyle factors, and emotional health. This assessment often involves consultations with healthcare professionals who specialize in sexual health. By leveraging their expertise, men can gain insights into the specific factors contributing to their ED, and subsequently, a tailored treatment strategy can be developed.

The process typically begins with an initial consultation where patients can discuss their symptoms openly. This is a vital step, as it establishes a trusting relationship between the healthcare provider and the patient. During this stage, various diagnostic tests may be conducted to evaluate hormone levels, blood circulation, and overall health. Following this detailed assessment, healthcare professionals can recommend a variety of treatment options that may include lifestyle modifications, counseling, or specialized therapies designed to enhance sexual health.

Innovative Approaches to ED Treatment

One of the most promising aspects of contemporary ED treatment is the integration of innovative therapies that address not only the physical symptoms but also the psychological ramifications associated with the condition. These approaches may incorporate lifestyle changes, such as improved nutrition and regular exercise, which have been shown to enhance overall health and vitality, thereby positively impacting erectile function.

Furthermore, advanced therapies aim to rejuvenate sexual health by focusing on restoring the body’s natural balance. These methods can stimulate the body’s inherent healing mechanisms, promoting improved blood flow and hormonal balance. Such a comprehensive approach seeks to empower individuals, allowing them to regain control over their sexual health and, ultimately, their relationships.

The Role of Education and Counseling

Education plays a pivotal role in the journey towards effective ED treatment. Men often harbor misconceptions about erectile dysfunction, believing it to be an inevitable part of aging or a reflection of their masculinity. By providing accurate information and resources, healthcare professionals can demystify these beliefs, encouraging men to seek help without shame.

Counseling is another essential component of the treatment process. For many men, addressing the emotional and psychological aspects of ED is as important as tackling the physical symptoms. Therapy sessions can provide a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings, address any underlying anxiety or depression, and communicate openly with their partners. This holistic approach fosters a supportive environment where men can rebuild their confidence and strengthen their intimate relationships.

Restoring Intimacy Through Communication

Restoring intimacy in a relationship impacted by erectile dysfunction requires open and honest communication. Partners must navigate the complexities of ED together, fostering an environment where both individuals feel heard and understood. This dialogue helps to alleviate feelings of isolation and frustration, enabling couples to explore alternative forms of intimacy that may not solely focus on sexual intercourse.

By prioritizing communication, couples can rediscover the emotional connection that forms the foundation of their relationship. Engaging in activities that promote intimacy, such as cuddling, kissing, and spending quality time together, can help rekindle the spark that may have been dimmed by the challenges of erectile dysfunction. This shift in focus allows both partners to feel valued and appreciated, ultimately enhancing their emotional bond.

The Impact of Lifestyle Changes on ED Treatment

In addition to specialized therapies and counseling, lifestyle changes can significantly impact the efficacy of ED treatment. Adopting a healthier lifestyle can result in improved physical health, which in turn can enhance sexual function. Regular exercise, for example, promotes better blood circulation, increases energy levels, and reduces stress, all of which are beneficial for erectile function.

Moreover, dietary modifications can play a crucial role in supporting sexual health. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can provide the necessary nutrients to optimize hormonal balance and overall well-being. Avoiding substances that negatively affect sexual health, such as tobacco and excessive alcohol, further contributes to a more favorable environment for achieving and maintaining erections.

Long-Term Outlook: Embracing a Holistic Approach

The long-term outlook for men experiencing erectile dysfunction is promising, particularly when approached through a holistic lens. By addressing the condition from multiple angles—physical, emotional, and relational—men can experience lasting improvements in both their sexual health and overall quality of life. The key lies in recognizing that ED is not simply a physical issue but a complex interplay of various factors that require an integrated treatment strategy.

As men embark on their journey towards recovery, they may find empowerment in the knowledge that they are not alone. Many others have faced similar challenges and have successfully navigated their path toward restored confidence and intimacy. By engaging with healthcare professionals, exploring personalized treatment options, embracing lifestyle changes, and fostering open communication, men can reclaim their sexual health and enhance their relationships.

Conclusion

Erectile dysfunction is a multifaceted condition that can significantly impact a man's life. However, with the advent of innovative ED treatment options and a commitment to personalized care, there is hope for those affected. By focusing on holistic approaches that address both the physical and psychological aspects of the condition, men can restore their confidence and intimacy. The journey to recovery may be challenging, but it is also filled with opportunities for growth, understanding, and renewed connection. As men take the steps towards effective treatment, they will find that a fulfilling and satisfying intimate life is within reach. For those seeking further information and support, resources like Edge Peptide Therapy provide invaluable guidance on this transformative journey.

#Regenerative Medicine #Joint Pain treatments #ED treatment

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