#Psychological abuse tw

[auschizm]

It's so important NOT to automatically assume that a psychotic/schizo spec person must be "overreacting" or "paranoid" or "having an episode" if they express that they're being mistreated by someone. Because facts are that a lot of shitty people deliberately target us because they know many people will doubt our judgment even if we do speak up about what's happening in private. So please take our distress seriously. Please don't assume we must be wrong about it

[lycankeyy]

Anyway if that art is making you wonder what Dearest's Deal is in funkycule good because it's another situation like Alucard's backstory where under normal circumstances you're not supposed to think about it too hard but if u put it in my emotionally charged character driven ass au you go woah hey what the fuck actuallyBDMAHDKAJD

So it's been established that demons Aren't evil they aren't even really "supernatural" to an extent that they're just a subspecies of humans that has more innate access to magic than homo sapiens do. That being said Dearest is Fucking Evil lol has been for a long time. Got to where he is today by manipulating people and murdering his competition. He knows he's fucked up everyone who knows him personally knows he's fucked up. But he did it all to have adoring fans which he now has.

And then he has a kid who isn't the brightest but she's extremely loving and forgiving and basically his biggest fan. Having regular fans is one thing but having a person on the inside who is constantly showering you in praise and sees no faults in you is even more of a drug to Dearest. So he puts as much time and energy into maintaining this as he can. He becomes a stay at home dad and spends all his time with his daughter, making absolutely sure she stays exactly the way she is for as long as he can

So this is why he's so hostile to anyone she has contact with outside. Both the risk of a romantic partner taking her away from him but also generally having Any contact with "normal" people runs the risk of her realizing that she's been treated extremely horribly her entire life. I made a joke a while back about how it's a very rapunzel-like narrative but honestly I've doubled down a lot on that since then. Fc!GF is Rapunzel coded /silly

[system-of-a-feather]

I think one of the wildest things about recovery thus far - particularly as a system with at least heavy psychological abuse and arguable programming - is just really realizing how much of my trauma narrative I've lived my whole life with was largely manufactured and wrong.

I'm not meaning in the sense 'its a lie' or 'I don't have trauma' because the foundation of my narrative was correct; my parents were abusive and neglectful, they were harmful and traumatizing

But the details and the impact and the understanding of my childhood and trauma was so fucking shaped, curated, controlled and directed by my sister - who until literally 21 or 22 I thought was my ONLY positive and supportive person in my life even when she was a leading player in our CSA

And at a certain point - I don't even remember what exactly, I think it started with XIV, then Data and Jii sharing concerning things, then her own actions both confirming and validating it - we really realized, of all our abusers and all our trauma-makers, our sister has and always been the most insidious

Because she was the ONLY supportive older person in our life and because she had been toying with us and our dissociative amnesia since before we could generally reliably remember things and she really got in there really young, we never really seemed to ever question ANYTHING she told us. She told us how our parents were. She told us how the world works. She told us how we had to act and how wed die if we didnt. She told us of conditions we didn't have but fully believed we did and how to cope with them. Our whole understanding of our family, life, and medical / physiological conditions were really almost entirely shaped by her.

And the past two or three years since we cut her off and humored challenging everything we learned from her? Realizing how much of it was controlling BS and just straight up wrong?

Most specifically, realizing that my parents were dumb and traumatized but genuinely doing what they could with what they knew to support us to the best of their ability? Most specifically that my parents, especially older, would really do whatever they can to make sure we suffer as little as possible and grow to be independent? Most specifically that they genuinely just want fair appreciation for massive financial help and nothing more when they offer HUGE support????

I have been regularly attacking my parents, denying support because its a "controlling trap", and fighting with my parents to defend my oldest sister for SO many years when literally it was all fucking because??? ???

My sister is mentally ill and traumatized so I also dont think she lied about the trauma / family / world perspectives she had but good god, to be the guinea pig, puppet, toy and projection project of someone so intensely not coping, not well, traumatized, paranoid (likely clinical) and refusing to seek help due to aforementioned paranoia.

Fuckin hell man

I vent about this more because its absurd and less because it hurts because honestly, the reality that I've learned is way nicer and preferred to the hell story I lived my life under

As much as it sucks, Im glad and happy to find out it was all wrong and my life is way better

But holy fucking shit is it a mind fuck to have your whole ass trauma narrative flipped on its head in two years after 6 years of PTSD / DID therapy

Save for like one abuser, all my most hated abusers are now some of my best supporters, and my only supporter is now the only person I have cut off.

Its so fucking wild

Especially as a fused whole because I just get random memories, a lot of good ones too, and really have to wonder What The Fuck Martha

[darlingdummydolly]

Jotting out some general thoughts so I'm not likely to forget them later;

The name 'Dummy' originated from the idea of someone who can only move by someone else operating them, having no functionality by themselves. Whilst Dummy does have a level of autonomy and action and a 'self' - there is a significant level of learned helpless and dependence on Pennywise as her 'caretaker', putting it lightly.

She does have some understanding of their unique bond - she knows that when she was taken into the circus, Bob in her own words; 'took out the bad parts and put in the good' - meaning that she was tailored to suit his needs. She doesn't understand the finer details of why she sometimes loses memories of whole months at a time, or why she wakes up in strange places. She knows that there is a level of control he has over her, enough to be fearful of rocking the boat - but she doesn't realize how ingrained the abomination is in her very skin and bone.

Naturally, this relationship is very uneven in terms of worth to one another. Dummy thinks Bob Gray is just the bees knees, the being who took her from an unwanted household, providing her shelter, care and although he might be a bit unhinged at times, there's a crippling idolisation. To the space clown from outer space, Dummy was just an opportunity that passed by for him to 'fuck around and find out'. To see what happens if you stretch the strings beyond the boundaries of what mortals are capable of - an unmoulded ball of clay to make, break, put together.

Essentially, she's a toy. But she still houses something important enough to make sure the stuffing doesn't get entirely ripped out. And all those years together potentially hasn't just ruined Dummy's psyche. As far as clowns are concerned, his toys aren't for sharing - and the possessiveness over something he'd orchestrated with his very hands means that there's a constant aura around Dummy wherever she goes.

She's his dolly. And if anyone strays inside the territory he's marked, they're not likely to leave in one piece, if at all.

[aquadestinyswriting]

The Final Straw

Summary: Yoruk pleads with his mother to see reason once again. Only things get a bit out of hand as the argument escalates.

Words: 2,306

Tags: @druidx @homesteadchronicles @sparrow-orion-writes ,@warriorbookworm, @odysseywritings, @writeblrsupport @blind-the-winds

Warnings: physical abuse, magical abuse, psychological abuse, suffocation, blood mention, parental abuse, domestic abuse (I think that's everything, let me know if not).

Notes: Takes place about two days after Yoruk proposes to Meredith and after certain events in @druidx's 'What Alexis Did Next'. This one is going to be pretty heavy going, so you've been warned.

The staff of the Copperheart estate were used to the regular screams of the house’s mistress and the odd explosion of something relatively inexpensive being Shattered; Lady Copperheart’s temper was legendary and had been a fact of life here for nearly five centuries at this point. What was less common, but now becoming increasingly common, was the return shouts of the Lady’s only child. Firik, the house’s elderly butler, retreated down into the kitchens to wait out the yelling match with a weary sigh.

Yoruk crossed his arms over his chest as his mother’s tirade came to an end, her chest heaving with exertion and emotion,

“I’m going mother, and that’s that.” he said as calmly as he could manage, “I’m sixty-seven years old and a fully grown man. You don’t get any say in what I can do with my life any more.” he told her. Ionah felt her rage bubble up again, a surge of arcane power welling up within her and threatening to spill over. She fought the sensation down and glared at her son, tucking several stray hairs that had come loose from her customary braids behind her ears,

“An adult? What I see before me is currently one very ungrateful brat of a son who doesn’t seem to understand how this is going to affect the reputation of this house!” she snapped, “It’s quite bad enough that you even proposed to that little trollop of a smith’s daughter, and now you think you get to leave before calling that off and finding a decent match that reflects the honour and prestige of the Copperheart name? I don’t think so.”

Yoruk felt his own temper flare at his mother’s words, a swell of righteous indignation and anger already bubbling over despite his attempts to fight it down,

“The ‘trollop’ has a name.” he ground out, “What you don’t seem to realise, mother, is that she has far more honour than you ever will. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go and start packing.” Yoruk started to march to the door, only to find his progress halted as every muscle in his body suddenly froze up.

Ionah’s hand trembled, clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white. The noblewoman walked slowly over to her son and backhanded him with her free hand, hard enough for her rings to leave imprints on his cheek.

“You are not going anywhere.” she snarled, “You will call off that farce of an engagement and you will Inform Captain Bolhammer that you are resigning as a member of the Moradhir Guard and resuming your training as a Kingsguard.” she spat. Despite the magical Hold on his person, Yoruk managed to send the much shorter woman a hot glare. His ears rang and vision blurred as his lungs strained against the magical paralysis. The divine magic that had been slowly building around the paladin finally spilled over and released itself with a massive Crack! 

Ionah’s eyes went wide as the force of the explosion of magic knocked her to the floor, shattering her concentration and unbinding her spell. The noblewoman quickly cast another spell, slowing her travel enough that she was able to avoid slamming into the fireplace and roll to her side, unharmed. 

Yoruk coughed as fresh air finally entered his lungs once more. He fell to his hands and knees as fire ripped through every last nerve in his body, his stubborn determination the only thing preventing him from falling into unconsciousness. He was too distracted to notice his mother’s recovery as she stood, picking up the poker next to the fireplace.

Ionah’s thoughts raced as she approached the young man, who was still coughing and wheezing even as she slowly walked towards him. So the ungrateful brat was stupid enough to use magic against her to get his own way? Clearly he needed a more severe lesson in manners. She should never have let Forhok cow her into allowing him to go into training as a paladin. Her hands shook some more as she raised the poker above her head. She should have done this a long time ago. Clearly her own parents knew far better, if she hadn’t thought that she was better than them, then perhaps she might have had a son at all. Not this… thing that pretended to love her. She brought the poker down.

Ionah did not know how long it took before she was wrestled away from the bleeding and bruised body below her. She couldn’t hear what was being shouted at her over the ringing in her ears as she pushed the staff that had dared to manhandle her away, nor her own screams at them to not touch her. When it became clear they would not allow her to continue her punishment, Ionah marched up to Yoruk’s room, threw some clothing into a trunk and threw it down the stairs and out of the somehow open front door.

A small group of Ironguard stared as a trunk flew out of the door of the Copperheart residence and flew open, scattering various items of clothing out onto the front garden of the manor. The most senior officer placed a reassuring hand on the trembling maid who had rushed out and hailed them,

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of things from here.” he nodded to the rest of the group,

“Stonebreaker, Woldbasher, start questioning the rest of the staff about what happened, Onyxaxe, Thundersword, you’re with me. Let’s see what kind of situation we’re getting ourselves into.” he said. The other officers saluted him and cautiously entered the front door.

The first thing Lieutenant Broadforge and his men saw was Lady Copperheart, her dress covered in soot and ash and her normally impeccable hair coming loose from her style waltzing down the stairs from the upper levels. The noblewoman smiled at them and attempted to dust off her dress,

“Ah, good afternoon officers. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” she asked pleasantly. Broadforge noted the glazed eyes and distant expression on the lady’s face but returned the smile and bowed,

“We had some reports of a disturbance up this way ma’am.” he replied, “We just wanted to check things out and make sure nothing was amiss.” The lieutenant surreptitiously gestured for two of his men to go into the main sitting room, where he’d noted a large gathering of what appeared to be staff out of the corner of his eye. He returned his attention to Ionah as she heaved a sigh,

“I do apologise, lieutenant, it seems the argument between myself and the ungrateful young man who used to live here was a little louder than I thought.” she said, “If you could, can you escort him from the premises please? I no longer wish to have him under my roof.” Broadforge nodded and offered the noblewoman his arm,

“Why don’t we talk about the matter in the drawing room while my lads deal with this young gent, eh?” he offered. Ionah nodded and came the rest of the way down the stairs, gently rejected the offered arm and strode airily towards the drawing room on the opposite end of the hall to the front sitting room. The Lieutenant looked to his men and gestured for the others to go into the sitting room to see what was going on.

Stonebreaker, Woldbasher, Onyxaxe and Thundersword all stared at the scene that greeted them as they walked into the sitting room. Several paintings had been knocked from the walls and a cabinet lay on its side, the glass shattered and all the little ornaments that it held scattered on the floor. In the middle of the room, surrounded by various members of staff was the bruised and bleeding form of a young man, collapsed and unconscious on the floor. 

Woldbasher was the first to react, quickly getting Thundersword to help him clear the staff away and start talking to them, while Onyxaxe  knelt down next to Yoruk and checked him over,

“Laddie’s alive, thank Moradin. Better get him down to the infirmary right quick though, looks like there’s at least a couple of broken bones here.” he called. Stonebreaker nodded and walked back to the door,

“I’ll run off and let them know.” he said, “I’ll get a hold of some of the Moradhir guard to give us a hand while I’m at the cathedral too, seeing as the lad’s one of them.” he added, gesturing to the etched leather shoulder pad Yoruk was wearing. Onyxaxe nodded and looked up at Firik, who was kneeling opposite him,

“Alright, so what happened?” he asked. Firik shook his head and gestured to the poker that was lying nearby,

“I’m not sure on specifics, but we heard a loud crack from down in the kitchen, rush up here and have to manhandle Lady Copperheart away from Master Yoruk because she was beating him with that.” he replied. He swallowed thickly, “We knew she had a temper, but we never thought she would go this far.” Woldbasher's eyes narrowed,

"Sounds like we need to have her ladyship brought down to the watchhouse to answer a few questions." He said, "Can't be having that kind of behaviour." Thundersword shook his head,

"The lieutenant's got the say on that." He said, "And it depends on the lad pressing charges."

"Knowing Master Yoruk, he probably won't." A short, rotund woman sighed, "From what I hear, he's been ordered on an expedition away from the mount, along with a bunch of other paladins and Kingsguard, to find whoever tried assassinating the king the other day."

"You mean the assisination attempt at the ball?" Onyxaxe asked, "Thought it was agreed that it were the Dalliance lass?" 

"Aye, that's the official word, but no one knows where she's gone. It's why the palace has ordered a bunch of expeditions to go find her." Woldbasher said. The tall dwarf turned to the much shorter woman,

"When was he due to leave? He asked. The matron sighed,

"Next week. He'll definitely insist on going now, he was on the verge of walking out and never coming back before this kicked off." A stony silence fell over the group. Unless Yoruk wanted to stay in Fangthane, then there was every possibility that Lady Copperheart would get away with what she had done scott free.

Lieutenant Broadforge shook his head as he regarded the woman in front of him.

"So you were defending yourself then?" He asked, noting that Ionah seemed to be completely unharmed. Ionah nodded, dabbing at her eyes with a beautifully embroidered handkerchief,

"Yes officer. I don't know what came over him. Yoruk was arguing with me over my concerns about him leaving on this expedition. I merely told him to stop being ridiculous and that he had other responsibilities here to take care of. I walk up to him to better get my point across, the next thing I know I'm flying back from him and he's walking over with his hands raised." She sniffled,

"I was, as you can imagine, absolutely terrified, so I reached for something to defend myself with. Luckily, I was able to overpower him and knock him unconscious before he could touch me." 

Broadforge rubbed at his temple,

"We'll collect statements from everyone in the house and get one from your son once he wakes up again." Ionah glared at the Ironguard,

"I won't keep you from your investigation, officer, but as of this moment that monster is not my son." She said, "As much as it pains me to do so, I cannot, and will not, have him associated with the Copperheart name any longer." Broadforge's head snapped up, his eyes wide,

"My Lady Copperheart, are you absolutely certain?" He asked, "You're willing to leave your House entirely without an heir?" Ionah nodded, her eyes brimming once more,

"I am more than aware of the consequences Officer Broadforge." She replied, her voice tight, "However, I don't believe I have any other choice. The boy is not fit to wield the clan name, and I won't have its reputation ruined by association." 

Broadforge noted Ionah's statement and nodded wearily,

"Of course, my Lady, forgive me." He sighed. Something wasn't adding up, but until he got the reports from his team, he couldn't waste time on making assumptions. He stood and bowed,

"Thank you for your cooperation Lady Copperheart. I'll keep you apprised of the situation. Have a good day." Ionah stood and nodded,

"Of course, officer. I'm so sorry to have inconvenienced you." Broadforge cocked his head,

"Given the severity of what occurred in your statement, will you be willing to press charges if it comes to it?" He asked, "Only because His Majesty takes such accusations of domestic abuse incredibly seriously." Ionah shook her head,

"If it's all the same to you, officer, I don't think that's entirely necessary. As terrified as I was, and still am, I think he'll learn a hard enough lesson while on this expedition he's insisted on going on." She replied. Broadforge nodded again, saluted the woman and left the room.

Ionah scowled at the door once it was closed. She pulled out a small necklace from under her dress and regarded it. The attached symbol of an eye with draconic wings sprouting from it on either side glinted in the dim light of the glowstones. Khalin willing, the impertinent boy would die while he was gone, solving all of her problems in one fell swoop. She placed the necklace back under her bodice as she heard the Moradhir Guard arrive to escort her former son out of the house. She smiled, then began to loudly pretend to sob, burying her head into her hands. Appearances needed to be kept up after all.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hello, hope you are doing well!

I was wondering if you have any tips on dealing with long-term dehumanization?

Growing up, my mother had a lot of mood swings (sometimes she was somewhat caring and I could talk to her, sometimes she's lock herself in her room and stay there, but most of the time she spent telling me about her various beliefs and (what probably) is delusions).

Long story short, I was punished if I didn't behave as expected, and was heavily isolated with the only other people in my life treating me similarly or worse, so I never knew it was weird.

It's to the level that a few months ago my mother told her friends that I'm spiritually an escapee alien from a horrible far-off planet that ran to earth in hopes of escaping it all, and therefor I'm not a real person and stuff.

Like I had multiple adults come to me and say things like "you did [insert blank] when you were younger, I should have known that you weren't actually human! no real human would do something like that".

I've always had to try and prove my humaness and the fact I exist as another person, but my mother (usually, her moods change.) refuses to understand that and gets mad at me if I'm not her perfect emotionless spreader-of-her-words and helper/worker.

I was stuck nearly 3 years in isolation with her and that treatment from anyone in my life (moved super long away so no contact with the few people I knew outside of them) and I was able to get out but I really do not understand how to function and how to exist without expecting to behave the same (which... didn't work because the person that's been letting me stay wants me out in a few weeks now because I don't act like a real person, essentially.)

Sorry about the rant/vent, I just.. I don't really know what to do and my support network is really small and turns out some people I thought I could trust knew about stuff that should have gotten me removed and they didn't do anything and akerjgnkaejrng.,

Thank you a ton for any advice/tips/input you share!! Hope you have a good day/evening/night/week

Hi, nonnie! Sorry it took me so long to reply. What your mother did to you sounds like psychological torture, and I'm so sorry it's been so hard to deal with it even in the aftermath.

I'm afraid I don't know nearly enough about dehumanisation to be of help here. I really hope you found things and people that helped you cope, as well as a safe place to live in. It sounds like therapy might be helpful if that's something that's available for you.

Sending all my support your way ❤️

[littledemonlorne]

Chapters: 15/15 Fandom: Original Work Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character Characters: Original Male Character(s), Original Male Character(s) of Color, Original Non-Human Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Original Trans Character(s), Original Cat Character(s) Additional Tags: Native American Character(s), Trans Male Character, Cannibalism, Mountains, Cabins, Winter, Birthday Party, birthday week, Creature Fic, goes from bad to worse to sort of bittersweet, Self-Discovery, Fear of Discovery, Forced Cannibalism, Forced Kissing, French Kissing, Forced Feeding Summary:

How could it have gone like this? Why did it have to be them? Just why in the world did it have to be him? And just what did it want from him? Truly want from him?

[heartfe1t]

✮ — chrissy cunningham / hey homecoming queen

( secondary canon muse | source: stranger things | main verse: pre s4 )

a study in: so good at smiling for most of your life, perfect makeup to hide what's inside, pretty popular girl, sweetheart, suburban gothic (the horrors of your picture perfect upper class life instead of the monsters most fear), god save the prom queen (he won’t), he wants you with that white picket fence (to keep you on a shelf), canary in the coal mine (sacrificing the innocent), eating yourself from the inside out (and crying yourself to sleep)

( cc1 ) class of 86

senior year! you're that much closer to some form of escape. jason will get you out of that house. he has to. he's going to go to some college on a basketball scholarship and maybe you can go with him. cheer for his team in your cute little uniform and pray to god it fits every week just like you do now. momma still says all those awful things. withholds your dinner if you look at her wrong. you eat all you're served, those tiny portions so unlike the ones given to your little brother. he's a growing boy. you're growing too. or maybe you won't grow any more. your doctor's not sure you met your full potential. frankly no one thinks you've met your full potential. everyone at school thinks you're perfect though. the pretty popular cheerleader. everyone loves you. you feel so alone. so scared too. you lost one of your friends over the summer... things start getting scarier...

( cc2 ) gold rush

fandomless senior year verse. very similar to v1 but anywhere not hawkins in particular. still a small town girl. still dealing with her parents. has more hope of freedom and seeing the world. not depending on a boy to save her.

( cc3 ) i almost jumped in

post s4 chrissy. she's technically survived (barely), spending the season in the hospital after what they assume is her dead body is discovered by the way she seems so cold to the touch. she's spent all this time tethered to vecna's consciousness in the upside down. when she wakes up from her coma / is set free from vecna, she's haunted by every atrocity she watched unable to look away or turn her mind off. tortured by the way she saw others be destroyed like she was. she's not sure why she survived. she's not sure if she did survive or if she was just somehow brought back to life.

( cc4 ) stepping with your best foot forward

fandomless college verse. chrissy's in the modern era in college as a cheerleader. that cheerleading scholarship was her ticket out of her house and other than ocassional messages to her brother, she doesn't look back after she moves out. she hopes her father finds his voice. she doesn't count on it.

( cc5 ) never grew up it's getting so old

chrissy never got out of hawkins. she's still in hawkins, still with jason carver, still having to deal with her mother. at least her mom has less influence now that she's out of the house. no upside down in this verse, just- pain. suburban gothic the horrors are the people not real monsters kind of vibes. robin comes back to town after seeing the world. chrissy never really thought she could see any possibility but the one she's gotten caught in... maybe life doesn't have to be so cookie cutter after all.

[eyesofanantihero]

You said Chase wasn’t in any physical danger, but Chase mentioned something about hearing about punishments from you and wanting to avoid them. What’s that about?

JJ smiles tightly, more of a grimace. "Anti's punishments are all mental. Isolation, hunger, love-bombing. Any way he can control you psychologically, he would do it quickly and effectively. He would tie my hands and feet together and leave the place we were staying, sometimes for hours. I would be alone and hungry. Sometimes I... I would have to soil myself right there because he wasn't there to untie me." Jameson's eyes don't meet the camera, his cheeks glowing with heat. "Then he'd call me a little boy and bathe me still in my clothes.

"Yet he never once hit me or forced anything physically. He had enough physical control with his powers, he never felt the need to beat you when he could just puppet you."

"I imagine Bresal is similar. He's still partially Jackie, and Jackie wasn't the type to hurt people physically if he cares about them. Maybe if he saw Chase as evil or something, but I know he doesn't. He probably thinks all of this is being done out of love. 'Tough love', Anti would call it."

[monarch-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

So like, I think that Jupiter wanted to kill jason as a child.

Eliminate the threat, this little child, before he grows up to eventually dethrone him. But Jason was needed for the quest, so he just settled with physical and psychological abuse instead :)

And when the quest was over, Jason was free to kill anyway, and I think Jason knew it.

He thought he could outrun it, he'd go to Camp Half Blood and attend like normal school. He wouldn't be a threat.

Bur he was from his birth and he died. He knew he was going to die.

[compassionatereminders]

My first partner was like, ridiculously psychologically abusive. He once threw me out and threatened to burn all my stuff because I had a beer without his permission. He once forced me to sleep on the floor because after spending 5 hours scraping paint off his bathroom walls I missed some under the sink. I could earn one cigarette by doing chores for him for an hour.

[system-of-a-feather]

Anyone with psychological abuse through means of someone intentionally inducing altered states of consciousness ever find that they are EXTREMELY protective of their ability to maintain a clear mind and ability to perceive things and just a very strong avoidance for anything that can possible cloud their vision and clarity of stuff?

Cause our system has literally never touched weed, alcohol, drugs of any form (and also part of why our system really enjoys Buddhism which is built around clarity of mind) because - even before we were really aware of that sort of abuse - had this extreme discomfort and distaste towards anything and anyone having the ability to warp or influence our internal experience and life.

It also honestly deeply extends to our history of refusing to attach, bond, befriend, or engage in romance with anyone growing up because attachment of any form opens people up to being able to influence how we feel and interact with others and overall this extreme protective nature of our internal, mental, and emotional experiences have honestly guided our life and interactions with others more than really any other trauma / mental health thing.

I feel that extreme level of protectiveness over anything that could be an external factor really comes from such young experiences of that predatory kind of manipulation of psychological states and experiences and just how invasive and powerful being able to influence others like that can be.

Open mic for anyone who wants to chime in and share thoughts they feel to be relevant.

(And honestly also reinforced because growing up we were also explicitly taught how to predate and both told to do so / encouraged to do so in the same manner so first hand know how easy it is to control people in those sorts of way)

((God I always am like "our sister really wasnt THAT bad" until I write it out and go ".... man ok yeah she was kind of batshit huh"))

[headspace-hotel]

"New (old) perspectives on self-injurious and aggressive biting" published in Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis / Nine Inch Nails- The Hand that Feeds

I was troubled to see a trend of claiming that Autistic people who do not support Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) are a group of "low-support-needs" autistics who are monopolizing the conversation and taking resources away from autistics with higher support needs—I think it is misunderstanding.

Individual positive or negative experiences with ABA are irrelevant here—the fundamental core of the therapy is behaviorism, the idea that an autistic person can be "treated" by rewarding "desirable" behaviors and punishing "undesirable" behaviors, and that an increase in desirable behaviors and decrease in undesirable behaviors constitutes successful treatment

In researching I found that ABA practitioners have published statements condemning conversion therapy. They refer to an unfortunate historical association between ABA and conversion therapy, but it is not association—ABA literally is conversion therapy; the creator of it used it to try to "cure" little boys that were too feminine.

ABA is considered "medically necessary" treatment for autism and the only "proven" treatment, in that it is proven to create decrease in "undesirable" behaviors and increase in "desirable" behaviors.

Undesirable behaviors for an autistic person might include things like stimming and talking about their interests, desirable behaviors might include eye contact, using verbal speech, playing with toys in the "right" way.

The BCBA behavior analyst code of ethics does not prohibit "aversive" methods (e.g. electric shock) to punish undesirable behaviors

The code of ethics only discusses the consent of the "client," not the person receiving the treatment

Many people will say "my child's ABA therapist would never make them repress harmless stims, give up their interests, use electric shocks...They understand the value of neurodiversity and emphasize the consent of the child..."

But consider...if nothing binds or requires an ABA therapist to treat stimming as important, nor restrains them from using abusive techniques, nor requires them to consider the consent of a person being treated, what protects vulnerable people other than luck? The ABA therapist still has an innately unethical level of power over a child being "treated."

Furthermore, consider: can a therapy built on the goal of controlling the behavior of a person who cannot meaningfully consent to it, especially without hard limits or protections on the kinds of behavior that can be coerced or controlled, ever be ethical?

I found many articles that discuss teaching "compliance" in autistic children, treating "compliance" as a reasonable goal to strive for without qualification...

The abstract of the above article struck me with a spark of inspiration. Biting is an undesirable behavior to be controlled, understandably so, since most would feel that violence should not be allowed. But I was suddenly reminded of the song "The Hand that Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails, which is a play on the saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," meaning don't lash out against someone that is kind to you.

But doesn't "the hand that feeds you" implicitly have power over you through being able to give or withhold food? In this case, kindness can be a form of coercion. Thus "biting the hand that feeds" is used in the song as a metaphor for autonomy and resisting coercive power. The speaker asks the audience if they have the courage to test the benevolence of their oppressors, or if they will remain compliant and unquestioning even though they know deep down that it isn't right.

Likewise the article blunders into something unintentionally poetic when it recognizes that biting is an innately possible behavior in response to "aversive" stimuli or the "removal of reinforcers." Reinforcers and aversives in ABA are discussed as tools used by the therapist—the presentation of a preferred food would be a reinforcer, for instance (and is often used as such in ABA).

The journal article considers biting as a behavioral problem, even though the possibility that someone may bite can never be eliminated. Contrastingly, "The Hand that Feeds" highlights the coercive power behind the ability to control your behavior, even when that control appears benevolent and positive, and argues that "biting the hand that feeds you" is not only a possibility but a moral imperative.

Consider: In what circumstances would you bite someone? To defend your own body? To defend your life? Are there circumstances in which biting would be the reasonable and the right action to take?

What authority decides which behaviors are desirable or undesirable, and rewards or punishes compliance or resistance? Who is an authority—your therapist? Your teacher? Your caregiver? Any adult? Any person with the power to reward or punish?

In what circumstances might compliance be demanded of you? In what circumstances would it be justifiable not to comply? What authority decides which circumstances are justifiable?

Can you imagine a circumstance where it might be important for a child to not comply with the demands of an adult? For a citizen to not comply with the demands of a government? Which authorities demand compliance in a right and just manner, and which demand compliance to things that are evil and wrong? Which authority has the power to differentiate the two? Should you trust them? Will you bite the hand that feeds you?/Will you stay down on your knees?

[arainmorn-art]

Deciphering. Let the bloody CWs begin!

Deciphering, pages 120-124

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Let the pain begin x)

That whole episode with young Nick in court can be looked at from a different, non-comedic perspective. There was not just a pathetic crying boy, but actually a young man who was trying to protect his beloved and until the last minute he couldn't believe that she didn't love him, despised him, and wanted to kill him. And something tells me that even after finding out the truth about her, Nick didn't get over it that easily. A wound like that doesn't heal quickly. So even with all the signs that things are different with Edgey, it's hard for Nick to get past the dread of not getting fucked immediately after confessing his love.

Now that's a theme that I want to explore.

Fasten your seat belts. It's not gonna get any less bloody.

P.S. Here comes the hint of the AU I like the most. Trucy is the biological daughter of Phoenix and Iris. I'd rather believe in the spirit channeling than that ridiculous adoption. Iris could have concealed the pregnancy, hidden in her monastery, given birth there, and only after 3-5 gave their daughter to Nick. I think he's better off being a biological father for once, as he already has too many adopted kids.

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[embrcssemoi]

"Why does everyone make that face when I mention an old friend?" Devika let out a chuckle as she playfully smacked Abe's arm. "Can't men and women be friends anymore?" No one knew about that one time Raul and her shared a kiss in her college dorm after she'd broken up with her then-boyfriend for the first time. Little did they know the amount of times she would come to break up and get back together with Stephen... for most of them, Raul was there. Most... because she knew now that when her best friend stopped showing up, it was because other things had happened behind the scenes. "But no, Raul is... a friend." Devika made a brief, almost imperceptible pause before defining what he still was. He still was a friend, and she would do everything in her power to make amends with the friend she'd let go in the past. "We went to college together and I found out a few weeks ago that he was living here."

Which was nice. More than just nice actually. To Devika, it felt like life was giving her a second chance to make things right by a person that used to be that important to her.

"I had this boyfriend back in college... Stephen..." She began explaining. "And I didn't know then, but he was very toxic. He isolated me from my friends, my family, from everything I liked... then he started putting me down and making me feel like I wouldn't be happy without him." Devi was glad her hands were busy massaging and spreading products on Abe's face, otherwise, she thought she'd start picking on her nails. Remembering Stephen and everything he had represented, always made her nervous. "Anyway... Raul and I ended up having a falling out back then. Things were said... and I believed the wrong person. Now I'm... trying to make amends, you know?" She smiled, mostly to herself. Because that was the feeling she had floating in her chest, warming up her heart, whenever she looked at Raul: hope.

Hope that he would like her presence back in his life as much as she did his.

"So yes. A friend, mister." Devika chuckled, before shifting the subject to something else. The cat gossip revolving around two families that hated each other. "Honestly I don't think Mrs. Jackson was doing a good job at taking care of her cat, but then again, that's none of my business, is it?" And then again, who would they notify in case of cat burglary? The cops? The vet clinic? "Do you think we should notify someone?" She asked while placing a face mask over his face.

Upon seeing him open one of his eyes and mentioning a gossip of his own, Devika sat up on his couch, tilting her head to the side. "Oooo? Do tell, do tell!" / @bloodandstonex

It was nice to just laying there with Devika. She was a major comfort to him. Even when he was feeling his worst, she had a way of making things okay. Abe wasn't a fan of letting people see him when he was having a bad day, because when he did have them, they were truly awful. Abe was hardly recognizable. But he felt comfortable enough about Devi that she was someone he could let those walls come down. With his eyes still closed, he quirked one of his brows and smirked a bit, "A friend, huh?" He asked, "How old of a friend?" She continued about the B&B, earning another nod from Abe, "That's very good to hear. I would hate to hear the B&B get bad reviews or anything because of bad reviews."

A cheeky grin immediately crossed his lips at her comment, and he held up a finger, "Who said that? I never said that." He laughed, "Gossip is all fine and good when you're not involved in it." And he stood by that statement. As his friend explained the situation between the two families and the cat, he nodded slightly, remembering the drama. And it was drama indeed. "Well..." He drawled, "I'm glad you continued with that story because I thought you were leading me down a different path with it. Sounded like a Sweeney Todd situation at first." Abe joked before he continued, "Clearly they did, right? What does one do in that situation? Can you report that someone stole your cat?" That seemed a bit difficult to prove...and probably something the police didn't quite care about, right?

"I suppose I do have some gossip of my own." Abe mentioned, opening one his eyes to gauge her reaction.

[littledemonlorne]

Chapters: 20/20 Fandom: Original Work Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character Characters: Original Male Character(s), Original Trans Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Cock Warming, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Pregnancy, Height Differences, Choking, Spanking, Biting, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, thigh job, suffocation, Past Murder, First Time Blow Jobs, Vibrators, Strap-Ons, Pegging, Ball Gag, Restraints, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Face-Fucking, Face-Sitting, Anal Sex, Anal Plug, Rough Sex, Rough Oral Sex, cum facial, Drugging, Doggy Style, Reverse Cowgirl Summary:

Jude just wanted to go home and live a normal life. Unfortunately, things don't go the way that he plans. And he might never go home ever again.