#Practical help
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rachel-sylvan-author · 6 months ago
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"Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion" by Gregory Boyle
Thank you @pagespawsandgauze for the rec! ❤️
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deremerstudios · 8 months ago
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...BUT IS IT BEST?
How can asking the right question equip us, by God’s grace and through the Spirit’s power, to live a radical Christ-centered life? In this article, we explore what it means to live our lives by asking the question, Is it best?
How can asking the right question equip us, by God’s grace and through the Spirit’s power, to live a radical Christ-centered life? Back in the early 2000’s, when I was working at my first real job out of college as a lowly marketing guy, our company’s leadership encouraged us to read and adopt many of the flavor-of-the-day inspirational business books of that era. I learned about Good to Great,…
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yakeisoda · 13 days ago
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heartshackle.......
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albanenechi · 3 months ago
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Drawing bases & pose references pt 50 ✨
3 extra 'mobility aid' poses for patrons!
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science-bastard · 2 years ago
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y’know what? FUCK you. i’m putting your ass in the control group. *injects you with boring saline instead of the fun and exciting glowing green goo i originally had planned*
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writers-potion · 10 months ago
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how do you write a liar?
How to Write Liars Believably
Language
The motive of every goal is the make the lie seem plausible while taking blame off the speaker, so liars will often project what they say to a third party: "Katie said that..."
Referring to third parties as "they" rather than he or she
In the case of a deliberate lie prepped beforehand, there will be an overuse of specific names (rather than pronouns) as the speaker tries to get the details right.
Overuse of non-committal words like "something may have happened"
Masking or obscuring facts like "to the best of my knowledge" and “it is extremely unlikely," etc.
Avoiding answers to specific, pressing questions
Voice
There's isn't a set tone/speed/style of speaking, but your character's speech patten will differ from his normal one.
People tend to speak faster when they're nervous and are not used to lying.
Body Language
Covering their mouth
Constantly touching their nose
fidgeting, squirming or breaking eye contact
turning away, blinking faster, or clutching a comfort object like a cushion as they speak
nostril flaring, rapid shallow breathing or slow deep breaths, lip biting, contracting, sitting on your hands, or drumming your fingers. 
Highly-trained liars have mastered the art of compensation by freezing their bodies and looking at you straight in the eye.
Trained liars can also be experts in the art of looking relaxed. They sit back, put their feet up on the table and hands behind their head.
For deliberate lies, the character may even carefully control his body language, as though his is actually putting on a show
The Four Types of Liars
Deceitful: those who lie to others about facts
2. Delusional: those who lie to themselves about facts
3. Duplicitious: those who lie to others about their values
Lying about values can be even more corrosive to relationships than lying about facts. 
4. Demoralized: those who lie to themselves about their values
Additional Notes
Genuine smiles or laughs are hard to fake
Exaggerations of words (that would normally not be emphasized) or exaggerated body language
Many savvy detectives ask suspects to tell the story in reverse or non-linear fashion to expose a lie. They often ask unexpected, or seemingly irrelevant questions to throw suspects off track. 
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hinamie · 7 months ago
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sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/
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mail-me-a-snail · 5 months ago
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couldnt decide which freak to give blu spy this time around so i drew all of his strange and offputting cross-faction loves ^_^ !!!!
based off the original pic under the cut !!
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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kanarii-91 · 4 months ago
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silly critter doodle page
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oobbbear · 1 year ago
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Did a small practice :]🌟
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deremerstudios · 8 months ago
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A MODEST PROPOSAL
Wading into controversy... What is the nature of Biblical modesty, what is it not, and how do we apply objective commands to subjective convictions in a way that loves others and glorifies God?
What is the nature of Biblical modesty, what is it not, and how do we apply objective commands to subjective convictions in a way that loves others and glorifies God? Note: This post discusses human sexuality, and while nothing explicit is mentioned, it addresses sexual sin in general, and is probably not suitable for younger audiences.  Full disclosure – my standards of modesty are not…
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foxstens · 5 months ago
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andrew handpicks robin for the foxes and robin becomes the last official member of the monsters and andrew gives robin his bed and robin sits with andrew and neil on the couch and andrew gives robin his knives and nicky leaves robin a key to the columbia house and robin becomes neil's best friend in neil's fifth year and wymack makes robin vice-captain then captain
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albanenechi · 8 months ago
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drawing bases #18
stimming refs✨✨✨
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 day ago
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For moment, you are home.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#granny wen#a-yuan#wen qing#wei wuxian#wen ning#wen bin bin#Si-shu#I had hopes to post this for Valentine's day - but I chose to practice self-love and get some sleep.#Instead I am here on the day of this blog's two year anniversary to reminisce and give thanks.#Not quite about blog stuff. That's for another post. I have quite a few treats to share for this anniversary!#Rather...I've been thinking about my own relationships and the bonds I've forged and broken.#The transition between environments...when you leave somewhere and hear about how all the people you were once close with-#-have been moving on without you? It's so bittersweet.#You want to be happy for them. You wish you were at their side. You cannot be at their side.#Relationships change like the tides. They ebb and flow. Sometimes they crash so hard into the shore it reshapes it entirely.#The truth is that we are more surrounded by love than we realize. Even when we feel utterly alone - there is someone who wants to help.#And to me this scene strikes a chord in that way.#This is the reminder than even though you feel like it is all burning down around you - you are loved.#There are people who miss you. People who are so thankful for your presence in their life.#And most importantly of all. And I say this from the heart: There are people you have yet to meet.#Remember this in the darkest of days: The future is full of loves you have yet to see. The present is also full of love you forgot to see.#Another reminder to go tell someone you care about how much they mean to you today. It matters.
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