#Posts will come in hella late
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hey artists
Im not one of you so like. Go easy k
but like. When you’re drawing faces is it like... impossible for you to draw someone from memory? When you first started I guess because I lowkey can’t figure out how to
advice is appreciated but it’s whatever
anywayysssss happy spring break Im going on a vaycay with the gf :) pretty excited!
#dhmu#i won’t have reception <3#I’ll update but like#Posts will come in hella late#|#fantasy high#kristen applebees#dimension 20#episode 2.2#fantasy high sophomore year#rp blog
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Alright then, that time of year again
More squid (ft. Others I GUESS.)


I will never find it not funny to base my arts of him off of Rothbart they look so stupid


They!! :) steals his hat


Plus these i might've already posted? Well too bad you get to see them AGAIN!!!


Maddiman my beloved....ohmyguafgg. he'd so shapes

Then these because :) y'know

ALSO!!! Horror au Maddiman by @/gendersoap because he's neat and I love love love his design throws my jacket into a bed of salt


HUMBOLDT SQUID POSTING STARTS NOW. I BRUSHED UP ON THEM LAST NIGHT AND I FORGOT HOW INSANE I WAS ABOUT THEM




None of these would fit with each other as smaller images so we doin big squids now ig (which!!! Are these guys!! Irl they're some of the largest squid in the world. Me encanta el diablo rojo)
#I really really really like squids. Omg#Learning mckraken was based off of one of my faves actually made me crazy#Also what was. Past me on last night#I stayed up a tad too late methinks. That and I was thinking about my faves WAY more than normal cause reasons#Anyways also kamineno coming not platonic not romantic but a secret third thing#Aka I don't like labels all that much and none of those describe their relationship how I'd like to interprete it#OKOK IM DONE YAPPING#●posts from yomakai#□ yolo watch 2!#☆ favesposting#Yeah Hella#Mckraken#Maddiman#Uhhhhh do I even??#H. Humboldt squi
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@ladylunora 's DTIYS! another one!
Still thinkin of Them, obsessed with their dynamic, I just love drawing them and nothing else apparently
Happy Halloween!
#Maybe finish it another time but done just in time! M gonna sleep now.#was gonna mess with it more but i fucked up the laydrs somejow idk#m so tired#i got another drawing but its gonna be late#gonna be cool and great halloween posting in november#benculavanfeetmandtiys#frenrey#hlvrai#my art#half life vr but the ai is self aware#listening to the sonic subathon ofc#and this reminds me of Yes to err is human so dont be one#hopefully come back to finish it later#although the more i say that the less likely it is#i will. probably. maybe#also that animations gonna be hella late so forget i mentioned it#i dunno why his hair is so blue sonc lookin#tried to be confident with colours fir once#benrey#gordon feetman
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so uh yeah still working on oc designs and decided to give the bug based one (mostly spider but they work with all insects) a baby centipede messenger for the fun of it and wanted to give it a silly name (like cuddles or somethin) and my friend suggested squimples. I would have saved this until I actually finished it but I have to show you beasts Squimples
#thank you clover for the name literally the best thing ever#my little squimples#the cutest thing I've ever made#squimples lore will come with their master post if I decide to make it one#idk spiderator is pretty much done but I still gotta color jelli#anyways it's hella late uuuuuuuh *blows up*
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You can tell the writers had no clue what to do with Blake because both the Black Trailer and the Blake Short have her playing support to more interesting characters
#rwde#to be fair she's hella cool in the trailer but adam kinda takes center stage esp w the robot scene#the short? god no. if post beacon blake was a spice she'd be flour#out of all the mains she's the one I'm disappointed in the most bc she had the most solid storyline and they FUCKED IT UP#esp since ive been digging into malcolm x quite a bit lately and im kinda thinking blake matches him more than mlk#within the last year of his life he became disillusioned w his mentor elijah muhammad bc he had children w SIX mistresses#which is a MAJOR no no in the nation of islam#so malcolm x took a pilgrimage to mecca and converted to Sunni. when he returned to america he was more open to nonviolent protest#smth he had derided king for years for bc he believed whites would never see them as equals#blake fits perfectly in that story. a shift in the dynamic w a mentor causes her to question her beliefs#so she leaves for a new place and comes out w a changed ideology abt activism. difference is she'll be able to complete her journey#malcolm x you were a real one
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why is Gawin so GOOD at being SAD? 😭😭 my heart can't handle it, I want to protect him at all costs. Pisaeng is really unlike any other Jittirain seme, this feels like sorcery fr
GAWIN ACTING KING!!! I already expected to love pisaeng just bc he's played by him but GODDAMN he's exceeding my expectations as a character! I get what you mean about jittirain's love interests, while I do sense some common pathetic-ness between him & khai lol, pisaeng is very mature, healthy & not pushy at all. he's actually a pretty withdrawn love interest compared to the usual ones (I haven't seen vice versa so only talking about khai, sarawat & mork) that are very involved in the main character's life. it's honestly refreshing, and perhaps why I love pisaeng so much? he feels very realistic bc he's honest to himself & his feelings but doesn't make it kawi's problem either which is amazing :)
xxx
#answers#pisaeng#be my favorite#be my favorite the series#sorry for the late answer I've been sick so I just popped in to post my bmf gifset & then dipped for 2 more days lmao#also should I watch vice versa#I didn't wanna watch it bc the plot seemed hella confusing to me & not my thing... I don't really like jimmysea OR ohmnanon...#and I've heard the last few eps aren't good#but I've seen it rated 8/10 on mdl still which is pretty good so I don't wanna shut the show down completely yet#so please tell me your honest (not glamorized!!! I've had people come glamorize the worst shows in my asks I don't need that) opinion#do it pros & cons style like I do for my reviews but don't spoil thanks
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Keep an eye out for me tomorrow 😔 I already posted it on Twitter because formatting convenience but I will be posting Abysswalker!Rafayel and Princess!MC smut tomorrow
#also it’s just hella late for me and I’m too tired to try and make it pretty on tumblr#I’m playing with formatting and trying to make my fanfics more appealing#if anyone has advice on this please let me know#the only creative bone in my body I have is writing#I worked myself to the bone tonight (no I didn’t)#also I do have a 9-5 so this will probably come after I’m off work#adding to this if my Twitter post flops I’m deleting it and never posting fanfic there again lmaoooo#I am not made to be discovered on there#I just want to share my writing
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
#creative writing#writers block#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers and poets#writerscommunity#fanfic writing#writeblr#writing advice
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Eurghhhh… finally sent two emails related to organizing (like activist organizing, not organizing my room rip) and forgot to schedule send… so hella ppl are getting a reminder abt an event today at 2am and a reporter who wanted answers by the end of the day got answers by 12:30am 😬.
#live love laugh#also (and I keep almost making a post abt this and then not)#I come to tumblr to relax and emote through fandom stuff#it’s the only social media where I’m able to truly curate my feed and tags esp help with that#I am not posting or reposting anything abt isrl or plstn because I’m doing that Real World Shit (tm) and also engaging with it on Instagram#ngl was sucky asf at the beginning of all this trying to come onto tumblr to relax and *not* be grieving and people I appreciated and follow#followed would not be tagging their gza/plstn stuff#like before it was all getting censored?? my brother in christ the tagging can be for people to find you and also so u don’t emotionally#fuck with ppl who aren’t trynna see that rn!!#eugh#mini rant that’s hella late but EhNeeWayz#that just… sucked#mypost
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Redamancy ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full



Part II out now!
{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (with a hint of bestfriend!jisung?)
{ Genre } - NSFW, the trifecta (s/a/f), frenimies to friends to lovers? idk but we'll get there in the end
{ Synopsis } - Han Jisung is your new bestie & technical colleague, of course you befriended the rest of his members. Group nights became a tradition, & tonight involves liquor and drinking games for the first time. Truth or drink?
{ WC } - 6.7k
{ Warnings & tags } - 18+ MDNI, NSFW, smut, angst, fluff, drinking, breath play (choking), swearing, dry humping, use of 'babygirl', mention of wet dream, talk of edging, talk of domming, talk of choking, talk of exhibitionism, all of ot8 is suggestive af when they drink, reader and jisung are PLATONIC I promise they're just touchy, they're all giggly drunks so overuse of laughing chuckling and giggling, chan is kinda dumb in this he just... is in denial land but we'll find out more about that later, unrealistic work scenarios, unrealistic dorm setup? idk lol
{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated with the actual skz, and is a fictional piece. I DO NOT own Stray Kids, this fic is just influenced by them!
{ A/N } - Okay I know I took forever to post & this intro is hella long & I'm sorry! Once again, I will say this is my first skz fic. I come from the world of AO3 & dramione. I am out of my comfort zone lol. First time posting stories on tumblr too! So if I missed anything please let me know <3 there will be a part 2, I've already started writing it! The plot is weak af, but gimme a few more stories and I'll find my groove. Promise! Unbeta'd, be gentle with me ♡
It was supposed to be a relatively chill Saturday night, so you were excited. You just got off work, and had arrived at Jisung's. He swung the door open smiling and pulled you inside, into an immediate hug. Everyone said their greetings, and then Jisung went immediately to whining.
"Finally, what kept you so late?"
You took your shoes, mask, sunglasses, and hat off, letting your curls fall down your back. Then you unzipped your sweatshirt, shrugging it off your shoulders and exposing your fitted white tee. You gave your jacket and bag to Ji so he could put them away. You always arrived in 'disguise', in baggy clothing so that no one suspected anything. Though you thought it was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how baggy the sweat pants or hoodie is, there's no hiding the curve of your ass.
You were a content editor at JYPE, and had become really good friends with Han Jisung. Friendships between idols and staff certainly aren't forbidden, in fact they're encouraged to an extent... as long as no lines are crossed. But it's pretty much an ignored rule. Anyways, you were a small 'behind-the-scenes' employee, not a manager or assistant or makeup artist. Not anyone directly involved with any idols. No one off the street knew who you were. Still, over the last almost year or so, you and him became besties. You frequently shared meals together at work, had sleepovers, you even went camping. You were basically glued to each other. It could easily be taken the wrong way by the media and fans. Hell, it gets taken the wrong way by co-workers, other idols, and even his group members. Although they've mostly accepted that's not the case. It's a given with the way you two act though.
Your relationship is definitely platonic, confirming pretty early on that neither of you felt anything more than friendly love for each other. But you both love teasing the other suggestively. You suppose that's partly why you two got so close so quickly. Your personalities are so similar, it's like you share the same singular brain cell sometimes.
"Editing, per usual." You finally reply with a sigh, "We had to cut A LOT out of nexz's new video. They're so high energy, they slip up a lot, especially with the swearing, but nothing we can't handle."
"Gotta love kids." Chan snorts while sipping a beer.
You smile awkwardly in response and look around the room. Everyone is here, all with their preferred beverages, and chatting away or scrolling.
Ji comes back with a drink for you, he knows you're partial to tequila and always keeps it on deck. Normally, you spend every weekend you can together, which sometimes is not as often as either of you would like. Sometimes you'd both head back to your place, and just have all nighters, binge watching anime and gorging yourselves on junk food. More recently, like tonight, you get invited over to hang with him and the rest of the boys.
It usually results in a few drinks and a movie, or talk about work. Sometimes you just play music and talk and vibe, or try to cook food together when you get the munchies... Which more than likely results in Minho taking over because he just can't help himself. However the nights play out, they're always fun, and you're gradually getting closer to the rest of the members too. Although no one can compare to the bond you have with your Jiji.
"I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, my eyes hurt too much." He starts complaining.
"Poor baby." You tease and run your fingers through his hair, laughing.
"When are you two just going to come out with the fact that you're in love?" Seungmin asks.
You roll your eyes, "When dwaekki's fly."
"I can easily make that happen." Changbin laughs.
"We could play a game?" Felix suggests, already looking flushed from the alcohol.
Jeongin gets excited, "Let's do a drinking game! It's been a while."
"I don't believe I've ever played a drinking game with y'all."
Hyunjin hums, "Mm, you haven't. Mostly because we get crazy, we've never brought up the idea."
This piqued your interest, "More crazy than I've already seen? I don't think that's possible."
Minho chimes in this time, "You forget we're a group of men sometimes, I swear. Mix alcohol and suggestive games, it definitely gets 'crazier' than you've seen, inappropriately crazy."
You level him with a smirk, "I'm down."
"That's my y/n!" Ji says, while pulling you to sit in his lap, "Fearless."
You giggle and lean into him while Minho just narrows his eyes at you and purses his lips. Something tells you he's up to something, but you're ready for any challenge.
"Fine. Then we'll play something easy, truth or drink. If someone refuses to answer, they drink. Whoever finishes their drink first loses." Minho says.
"What does the loser have to do?" You ask.
"Pay for everyone's lunch every day for a month!" Changbin says.
"Deal." You say.
You're an open book, Ji knows this. There's no question you won't answer.
Everyone is up now, getting new drinks & refills before the game starts. You can't help but notice that Chan didn't get up, he looks a little nervous for some reason. He was always the most worried about you being around so much. In the beginning it definitely came across like he didn't like you. Now you know that's not the case... you think. He tolerates you now to say the least. You couldn't blame him too much, he was just protective of his boys. You actually found it incredibly sweet, or maybe it's just that stupid soft spot you have for him.
He always tried to keep you at arms length from the group. Not wanting anyone to get too close to you. Until Jisung put him in his place, as best he could anyways.
You were in Ji's lap, watching Spirited Away. He was drawing imaginary lines and shapes on your back, while you rested your head on his shoulder, facing the tv. His head was resting on top of yours as well, and a blanket covered you both.
Chan walked in seeing this, and nearly had a stroke. He said we were being inappropriate. And specifically made it a point to tell you to be more professional as a member of the staff. Short version: know your fucking place, you're overstepping.
You scoffed at him, prepared to confront him about his growing disdain towards you. Let him know he's the one being inappropriate, downright childish. But Ji nudged you onto the couch and got to him first.
It was kind of cute watching him standing there, ears becoming red and getting in Chan's face. Cute in the way that it was like a maltese puppy trying to stand up to a doberman. Then he proceeded to yell at him about how he was way out of line. Saying he was being flat out disrespectful and that he was done with the ridiculous way he has been acting about you. The last thing he said was that he didn't know what got into him, and that he'd never seen this side of Chan before.
Chan was silent, looking intensely into Jisungs eyes. But he never backed down, so Chan poked his tongue to his cheek, then retreated to his room for the whole night. You had to scoop Ji off the floor right afterwards. He had let his knees buckle, and fell to the floor once Chan was gone. Citing that he wasn't sure he was going to live through the night to see the morning sun. Typical dramatic fashion for your best friend. But you soothed him, fluffing up his ego about 'defending your honor'. His words, not yours.
As that night went on though, the tiniest bit of worry coursed through you. Chan hadn't come back out. Not even when the other members came home, trying to knock on his door to greet him. Or when the food was ready to be served, you had even given knocking a try. Only after Hyunjin begged you to, because 'He already doesn't take care of himself. He needs to eat.' No, you didn't see him again that night until you had already walked out the front door. He slipped out behind you shortly after, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you.
You thought he was going to continue the argument for a moment, but no, he was apologizing. Not much more was said afterwards, but his apology was genuine and heartfelt, so you accepted it. You two ended up hugging it out, and thank goodness no one saw that, because it was incredibly cringeworthy. He had no more major issues after that. But he was still unexplainably awkward around you, but it's not like you were any better. You two simply didn't know how to interact with each other for longer than 30 seconds. And that was pushing it. You suspected that might not ever go away. He likes to keep his walls high and strong, and you're stubborn at times.
But of course, despite that stubbornness. You developed some sort of feelings towards him. Feelings you refused to acknowledge, well tried to refuse. You would push those feelings down deep within your heart, put them in a little box, and tape it shut trying to forget it's there. There was no need to pine over the man, he had stay to do that for him, and who knows who else in his life. Somehow that box always ended up ripped open again.
There was never a reason to act on these feelings. Not to mention, you think you'd be breaking SO MANY rules. Putting your job, his job, hell everyone's job at risk. Or worse, making a fool of yourself when he would downright reject you.
You keep watching him, now he's shaking his leg up and down, seeming agitated. Maybe he just doesn't want everyone getting into a vulnerable state of mind while playing? Maybe he's worried somebody will say or do something wrong? That someone will cross a line, as he loves to say?
Trying to ease his negative feelings, and extend yet another olive branch. You toss a throw pillow at him, hitting him in the chest and pulling him out of his thoughts.
He looks at you, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and you just chuckle nervously at him saying, "Don't worry, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
"God how fuckin' corny was that?" Ji teases you, poking your side making you giggle more.
To your relief, Chan is laughing with you, and shaking his head, "I just want them to behave."
"Oh relax, we're all grown. We're all friends. So we'll get to know each other more intimately, big whoop." You shrug.
"Mmm..." He replied, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "Whatever is spoken about tonight, doesn't leave this room."
"I swear you're the one with anxiety sometimes, not me." Ji mumbles.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah... dad." Hyunjin says as he sits next to you and Ji.
"As if that announcement even had to be made, I swear, and you wonder why we call you old." Seungmin comments.
Once everyone is settled in with their drinks, Minho directs Chan to start the game.
"Jisung, when was the last time you cried?"
He laughed, "You're trying to embarrass me because you know it was this morning, but I am confident and secure in the fact that I am a sensitive man."
He said the last bit with his hand over his heart, and his eyes closed, effectively making everyone chuckle.
"My poor baby, why were you crying?" You question teasingly.
"Please don't bring it up, he'll start blubbering all over again. Stupid, sad, dog rescue videos." Seungmin mumbles.
"Minho!" Ji shouts, pointing at him dramatically, "This question is for you. If you had to kiss someone in this room on the cheek, who would it be?"
"Hyunjin." He said bluntly, making you and everyone else laugh while Hyune just rolled his eyes.
"Would you kiss me back?" He asked him, eyes full of hope and bottom lip jutted out and pouting, trying to act cute. And succeeding, honestly.
Hyunjin acted like he was pondering the question, but ultimately was the first to take a sip from his glass, "I decline to answer."
He looked to you next, a suggestive smirk on his face, making you the next victim, "Y/niiieee..."
"Oi, be respectful." Chan scolds immediately, not liking the look at all.
"All I was going to do was repeat the question!" He said defensively, "Y/n, if you had to choose, who would you kiss on the cheek?"
You tried hard to keep your eyes from trailing over to Chan, a tingly feeling spreading across your skin at the mere thought of innocently kissing his cheek. Instead you chose the easy answer, because it wasn't a lie. You'd also kiss your best friend on the cheek any time.
"My Jiji of course," And you took his face in one hand, squeezing his cheeks between your middle finger and thumb, and plant a loud smooch on each of them, "he probably only asked because he wanted one anyways."
He just chuckles, letting you baby him and Seungmin fake gags.
"Minnieee..." You pause trying to come up with a question, "when you dye your hair next, what color would you want?"
"Green, my entire head green."
"That would look interesting." You laugh.
You all go 'round in circles for a few rounds, completely forgetting about the rules of the game. Having now finished your glasses from casually sipping throughout the game, most of you have switched to occasional shots. You're starting to feel warm and tipsy. Of course the more you all drank, the more the questions started to get more... amorous. Which is exactly how you all assumed this game would go. No wonder Chan was so anxious.
However looking over to him now, he's definitely having a good time. Like every other person, he loosens up while drinking, but tonight he seems even more so.
"Y/n," Chan starts with a sly look making your skin buzz again. Among all of you, he is 100% the most inebriated right now, "when was your first kiss?"
"Yah! He tells us to be respectful, but look how he is after a few drinks!" Changbin yells laughing.
Chan loses it, "You're right Binnie, you don't have to answer or drink." He says in between fits of squeaky laughter.
You think you could listen to him laugh all day.
You shake your head and snort, "I've answered worse questions playing this game before. I was 13 when I had my first kiss."
Hyunjin nearly spits his drink out, because again, no one is drinking just as punishment anymore, "13?!"
"Well, yeah, it's a pretty normal age in America... I think..." you started to blush, "why, how old were you?" you ask Hyunjin.
He hesitates, but eventually he spoke, "I was 18."
The rest chime in saying they were also 18 or 19. With the exception of Felix who said he was 16.
Without even thinking you start to say, "Aaah, see I was 18 when I-" and you're abruptly stopped with Ji's hand slapping over your mouth.
Your eyes go wide, caught off guard, but understanding as you almost blurted out unnecessary information. Nothing that Ji hadn't known obviously, it's just that everyone else doesn't really know you on that level.
"Jagi, you only had to answer the one question, adding extra info, that's not how you play the gaaaaame." He says in a sing-song voice, "Hyunjin it's your turn to ask someone."
"No no no no! What was she going to say?" Chan chuckles.
When you looked at him, he winked at you, and you had to stop yourself from going limp in Ji's arms. He knew damn well what you were going to say. Why is he teasing, no torturing you like this?
You peel Ji's hand off your mouth to respond "It's not your turn, you'll have to wait to ask me that."
The group starts laughing and shouting, teasing Chan who is ignoring it all, just staring at you with curious eyes and his tongue in his cheek. Does he know how hot he looks doing that?
"Okay, so then I'll ask you. What were you going to say?" Hyunjin asks calmly, trying to fight the smile off his face.
You pour yet another shot, and knock it back thinking, what the hell, "I was going to say I was 18 when I first hooked up with a man."
Some members looked surprised, the game taking an obvious turn. However Hyunjin, Felix, and Chan started laughing again.
"I knew that's what you were going to say." Felix slurred.
"Yeah I was definitely teasing you on that, because I knew." Chan followed.
"Mmm, well judging from the shocked faces of everyone else, you two seem to be the only psychics." You try to joke, wanting the attention off of you suddenly.
"No, don't get us wrong, not all of us are as innocent as you think." Seungmin says defensively.
"Oh really now?" You respond, one brow quirking up.
Seungmin just turned red, and sat back in his seat. To which Chan started laughing, yet again. He's a giggly drunk, and you love it.
"Don't tease my puppy, babe." Ji slurred, trying to reach his arm to console Seungmin, but ultimately failing.
"I mean I was 18 too, with the same girl I first kissed." Hyunjin shrugged.
"But what do you mean 'to a man'?" Jeongin asked with a shit eating grin on his face.
You promptly turned into a tomato, and started choking on air.
"You're not that slow pabo, obviously it means she's been with women too." Ji says, rather loudly and speaking freely, all while patting your back.
You're quiet. It's not like it's a secret, you've never hidden your sexuality. But it never came up in conversation with anyone here, except Jisung.
Wanting to ease the tone, Felix speaks up, "Well I was 18 when I first hooked up with a dude."
"I was 21, but everyone already knows that story." Ji slurred.
The whole conversation triggers another group laughing fit. Except for Chan, who is looking at you with those dark eyes again. And... is he blushing? Or is that the alcohol? He eventually snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and slowly smiles at you reassuringly.
You mentally kick yourself for getting your hopes up, of course he couldn't ever think of you like that. You're imagining things.
"But then, how old were you when you first hooked up with a girl?" Jeongin asked again, genuinely curious.
"A lot younger than 18..." You trailed off laughing, "I'll just say in high school."
"The air is different outside of Korea." Changbin says suddenly, sounding thoughtful.
Hyunjin nearly collapsed laughing, slapping Minho on the knee repeatedly, despite the glare he was shooting him.
"Well I just answered a bunch of questions in a row so that means I get to ask two people a question. And the second person I ask gets the next turn." You say, making up new rules.
"So... Chan." He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and you just smirk, knowing you're trying to get back at him, "How old were YOU when you lost your virginity?"
He gulps and looks around at the group before answering, "I... was 18."
"Chan-hyung, you never answered us when we would ask you! Why answer her?" Jisung whines.
"I honestly don't know, maybe it's the liquor. None of you ever asked me drunk." He starts giggling.
"Okay so question 2... Binnie!" He gulps and looks at you with wide eyes, "Are you more of a boob guy?" You say grabbing your own, not even really thinking about it, "Or an ass guy?"
Changbin started laughing and answered, "Definitely ass, but I appreciate boobs too, equality."
"I am just learning so much about my fellow members lately." Seungmin whispers.
"Is that a bad thing?" You giggle.
"Not at all, it feels strangely comforting, letting loose like this." He replies and smiles softly at me, "It's been a while."
"It's freeing!" Jeongin yells abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.
"Aye, my question is for you then Min. Have you ever had a wet dream?" Changbin asks.
"... what guy hasn't? Don't all guys get them?" He asks looking around.
Then you chime in again frankly, "Girls can get them too you know."
Why does it feel like you've opened pandora's box on your sex life, in every single aspect?
Ji starts laughing, nodding his head vigorously and you know where this is about to go.
"Really now?" Felix says, mimicking your exact tone from earlier, "What was it about?"
"Mmmm... it's not your turn to ask," Then you turn to Seungmin, "And if you ask me, I will absolutely drink and not answer. No way I'm explaining a sex dream right now."
Seungmin just rolls his eyes and huffs out a laugh.
"But I wanna knooooooow," Jisung whines, "You looked so cute having one last weekend, you never told me what it was about."
Everyone was watching you two closely now, waiting to hear how he knew what you looked like in that situation.
You turned around and smacked his arm, "We weren't going to mention that ever again! Remember?!" You attempt to be angry, but you can't help it and end up smiling.
"Okay, well now I'm curious since you two are bringing this up." Minho says with a glint in his eye.
"Y/n may or may not have had one when I slept over, and I woke up to her moaning and hump--"
This time it was your turn to slap a hand over his mouth, "Jiji, Sungie, my love, my sweet sweet SWEET best friend. I don't want to kill you, but I will." You say in a dulcet tone.
He raised his hands, eyes wide and nodded his head. You couldn't help but laugh, apparently you're a giggly drunk too.
Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Chan adjusting himself in his pants. But then you reminded yourself that it was just wishful thinking and an alcohol induced hallucination. Horny hallucination. God you needed to get over him and under someone else. This unrequited shit wasn't for you.
"I'm so never going to drop this you know, I wanna know what the hell happened." Minho smirked at you, to which you flipped him off jokingly.
It's Seungmin's turn next, and he's just staring at Jeongin with a blank face, "Have you ever had a one night stand?"
He pauses for a moment and then finally answers, "No, I haven't."
He looked at you now, asking his question, "You know what I have to ask now, right?"
"Go ahead." You challenge, fully prepared to choke down another shot and not answer his question, and he smiles.
"What's one of your kinks?"
You were unprepared for that question. And how could you know he would ask that, these men like to fuck around with your head.
"Relax, I just wanted to see your reaction." He says before chuckling.
You glared at him for a moment, halfheartedly. They think they can just retract questions when they get scared that they went too far. Screw that, you're answering.
"I guess the most simple one I have is edging." You shrug.
"The most simple one?!" Hyunjin asked.
"What are you a masochist? Edging is the worst, feels like torture to me." Ji says.
"But the build up is so delicious, and the end result is so worth it. It's so intense." Felix chimes in, "Choking too, that can be intense."
"Hm, breath play might actually be my favorite." You admit.
"Damn y/n." Ji says, eyeing you with a smile, "You're full of surprises, even to this day."
You shrug again, "Everyone has different kinks... What's one of yours?" You ask him.
He ponders for a moment, "I like being dommed sometimes."
"Big surprise." Minho says and you all laugh.
"Good one though," You nod, "That's one of mine too."
"I think I'm an exhibitionist, to an extent of course." Hyunjin says next.
"That's also not a surprise." Minho replies.
You can't help but let your eyes wander over to Chan again, while everyone else is sharing different things they're into in bed. The liquor has everyone speaking loosely. But Chan doesn't seem to care about it anymore.
You find him staring right back at you, that same look in his eyes from earlier, and you feel heat spread in your stomach, and wetness starts to pool in your panties. Maybe you weren't imagining things.
But you don't notice that Ji's observing both of you in his drunken haze. Not too faded to ignore you and Chan eye-fucking each other.
Your heart starts racing the longer you hold eye contact, and you start shifting uncomfortably on his lap, before looking away and deciding to get up.
"Alright... I need some bread to soak up this alcohol, and then I need to get home because it's already 2 in the morning." You say with a shaky breath.
"Yeah, I'm wasted right now," Jeongin says and stands, "Bed's a good idea. Goodnight everyone." And he leaves to his room.
Ji grabs your wrist, preventing you from moving, "You're not going anywhere. We're all drunk, you can't drive and no one can bring you back home."
"Fiiiiiiine," You say, "but I still want bread."
"You and your bread fixation whenever you drink." Minho mumbles, heading to the kitchen anyways to grab you some.
When he comes back he hands it to you and you start munching away happily, doing a little dance.
Meanwhile, Felix is trying to tug Chan's arms to make him stand up, but he's fighting him on it and whining. Clearly he exceeded his limit tonight drinking. He probably won't even remember the looks he was giving you, you think.
"I don't wanna go to bed." Chan whines.
Felix finally succeeds in pulling him up, "C'mon mate, you definitely need to sleep this off. You'll be miserable tomorrow. Let's get you some water too, hmm?"
Chan reluctantly holds his arm, and follows him down the hall, stumbling over his own two feet along the way. You can't help but laugh at the sight.
More of the boys say goodnight and head off to their rooms, but Ji and Minho stay with you in the living room, chatting a little longer before bed.
Ji starts going through his bags, determined that you left some pajamas here from when you slept over previously, and he kept them in a bag to give back to you. He pulls out the nightie, that you honestly forgot you brought here. But you see why you didn't ever wear it at the time. It's dark green, spaghetti straps and has lace along the bust line. It also has slits on each side of your thigh, and only covers you to the middle of your thighs. Your go to sleepware was always nighties or large tees, they're comfortable and sometimes you get hot at night. Mix in the fact that you were drinking tonight? You're already feeling overheated. But wearing this?
"Jiiiiiii, don't you have any t-shirts I can wear?" You whine.
He's already under the covers, fighting sleep, "Sorry babe... haven't done laundry... Nothing clean..."
You whine again before taking it and heading across the hall into one of the bathrooms. It was this or sleep in your sweats, and that idea sounded entirely too suffocating to you.
You slip the nightie on and brush your teeth with your designated toothbrush you had there. Jisungs idea, after you had too much tequila one night and he diligently held your hair back as you got sick.
You sigh as you're leaving, and make your way towards Ji's room. Before you reach the door though, Chan walks out of his room. He's in a black tank top, and red boxer briefs... your eyes immediately trail down and go wide. His outline clear as day. But you change your view quickly, hopefully before he notices.
It doesn't help though, now all you're doing is eyeing his arms, the muscles cut throughout them. The veins that trail all the way down to his hands. God, his hands... What wouldn't you let those hands do to you...
He scratches the back of his head, and the movement snaps you out of your gaze. You find him staring back at you for a second before answering, "Sorry, I'll just..."
You start to shake your head, "No, no. No reason to apologize." You chuckle and start shifting on your feet. You feel the skirt of your nightie swaying with you. It opened the slit wider, and Chan immediately looked down at your exposed thigh. He inhaled quietly, sucking in air through his nose.
Any other day, you'd be scrambling to cover yourself. Feeling insecure and too bare. You don't know if it was the liquor in you, but tonight? Being on display? It turned you on.
You clenched your thighs together, almost involuntarily, and Chan didn't miss that.
Time seemed to be moving too slow. He stepped towards you, nearly closing the gap between you. He's only inches away, and looking down on you. His eyes have that dark, smoldery look again. He raised his hand and brushed the curls off your face and behind your ear. When he rests his palm against your cheek, your eyes flutter shut and you lean into his touch. It's so warm, and comforting. As if it was always meant for you.
When you open your eyes, you can clearly see the lust in his is only growing. He's not holding it back anymore, biting his lip as he stares at you. You almost whimper in anticipation.
"This is your opportunity to walk away if you're not okay with me kissing you." He says lowly.
You closed your eyes, and his lips met yours. The first few seconds were sweet and soft. Almost too innocent for the heat of the moment, but then he deepened it. He was pulling you by the waist into him, running his hands down and resting them on your ass. You could easily feel how hard he was for you, even through the thin fabrics. This time you let the whimper out, and he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. When you tried to do the same, he didn't give you the chance. Instead he slipped his tongue in. It was like he was lost in desire, and greedy for more. You couldn't help it when your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.
He groaned and started backing you into the wall, his lips never leaving yours. He grabbed your thighs in each hand, and hoisted you up, slotting himself between them. Your legs naturally wrapped around him, and he started rocking his length against you. His pace was achingly slow, but still delicious.
You moaned and slipped a hand up to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of hair. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back with his eyes closed. He half hisses, half groans, and you can't help but rock your hips against him harder, hoping to hear more. He grips your thigh tighter, and leans down to press a quick kiss to your neck, before licking and sucking on it. He's meeting each roll of your hips with rough thrusts. And even clothed, you feel how perfectly he's rubbing your clit.
Your head is so clouded with need. Need to be touched. Need to touch him. Need to feel him inside of you. You don't even think twice when he glides his hand up your stomach, and over your breasts. He gives one a light squeeze before moving up to wrap his fingers around your neck, and your brain loses all sense for a moment.
He's just resting his hand there, but you wish he'd do more. You're not sure if this man knows just how pliant you are for him right now.
Then he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, "Can I touch you?"
His warm breath gives you chills, and you nod your head as best as you can. But that doesn't suffice him, he stops his movements against you and his grip around your throat tightens. You think you could probably get off on it if he tightens his fingers just a bit more, but he doesn't, instead he says, "I'm going to need words, babygirl."
Your hips buck into him, and you breathe out a quiet "Yes. Please..."
With that, he yanks your face closer to his by your neck. He's squeezing ever so slightly tighter around your throat. He bites your lip and you groan. But he's quick to silence you with his tongue.
Letting go, he trailed his hand back down your body and to your core. Slowly he started to rub you through the thin lace. You were so sensitive, that when he found your clit and pressed a circle into it. You couldn't help but breathe out his name. He pushed your panties to the side, and when he felt you for the first time you felt him smile against your lips.
"Babygirl... fuck, you're so wet for me."
And as he whispered that, he slipped a finger in you. He set a steady pace, dragging against your walls with a curl. Each pump hitting your sweet spot, and the heel of his hand creating delightful friction against your swollen bud. His breathing was heavy in your ear, breaking through all your helpless whimpering. When he added a second finger, you couldn't hold back anymore.
"Chan..." You moaned louder this time, while simultaneously letting your head drop against the wall with a thud.
He pulled his lips off of you, eyes wide when he met yours. He started blinking as if he was coming back to reality. When he looked into your eyes again, he looked startled.
"What's wrong?" You pant, feeling hot and dizzy, wishing he would keep moving his hands.
Instead, he quickly slips his fingers out of you, and sets your feet on the floor. Then he backs away.
"I'm sorry, y/n... I don't know what came over me, that was incredibly inappropriate and out of character." Chan mumbled.
Your heart sinks, as you feel the sting of rejection. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, and you immediately felt the oncoming headache from holding them back. You shouldn't feel so emotional and upset. This was all spur of the moment. But you do, you feel devastated.
Regardless, you clear your throat, "I understand." You force an unsettling chuckle out, when a sob threatens to escape instead.
He puts on a blank face that feels so cold, and responds with "Don't forget to drink some water, stay hydrated... I'll be heading to bed now, you should too."
All you really want to say is don't leave, because you want to finish what was started. Because you've wanted this for so long. Because the box you kept away in the depths of your heart had ripped open once again. And all the languished emotions were here, front and center, aching to bear it all to him. To let him see. Confess. But that would be selfish, he's clearly uncomfortable with it all. He probably regrets it. An alcohol induced affair. In his eyes, a complete mistake.
So instead you say, "Okay."
Because that's all you can muster before the tears start to fall. You turn away, going back to facing Ji's door.
"Goodnight y/n... Sleep well." He says, and puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.
You shrug it off, and escape to Ji's bedroom. To your surprise he's sitting up in bed, and ushering you come to him with his arms open and bottom lip pouted out.
You run to him, a bit dramatically and fall a part in his arms. But you can't help it, you sealed these emotions away for too long. You were too hurt at the moment to even try pushing them back down.
Jisung is your life saver, he's comforting you, rubbing his fingers on your scalp and rocking you back and forth to try and calm you. He gives you time before you have to explain why exactly you're having a melt down.
"Chan's an idiot." He finally says.
And you lean back to look at him, confused on how quickly he's put two and two together.
"Well you weren't exactly quiet. Between your exaggerated moans and his animalistic grunting right outside my door, of course I heard it." He rolled his eyes jokingly and that earned a laugh from you.
You smacked him lightly, "I was lost in the moment... don't judge me."
"Jagi..." He says, and wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, "You've liked him for so much longer than a moment."
Your heart starts pounding faster again. How could he know that. It's the one thing you've kept from him, from everyone, hell you even denied it to yourself for as long as possible. Was it that obvious? Who else knows? You go to speak, fear written across your face.
"No. You were not obvious, in fact you're an amazing actor. I'm sure none of the other members noticed, and definitely no one else at work knew." He answers before you can even get words out.
You nod slowly, "So then, how'd you know?"
He smiled proudly, "I'm a people watcher, I see all."
You smack him again, a little harder this time.
"Alright, alright, but I really did see all the looks you'd give him when no one else was watching... I know what longing looks like, and..." he trailed off.
You knew that wasn't all, "And?"
"Aaaaand... maybe that night you had that wet dream. You were moaning his name while humping the pillow..."
"You never told me that!" You shoved your head into your hands, distraught.
"Well I didn't want to embarrass you! I honestly didn't think you looked at any of us that way until then. Like I said, a good actor. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to."
You sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass."
"You're grown, you don't have to apologize to anyone for liking someone. But y/n," He cupped your cheek forcing you to look at him again, "this isn't just a simple crush, is it?"
With that question, you felt the tears spilling all over again. He pulled you to lay down with him, holding you tight against him and letting you cry it all out. Somewhere between his low humming, and your quiet weeping, you fell asleep.
When you blink the sleep away from your eyes the next morning, you're still entangled with Ji. He's literally wrapped around you like a koala.
You snort out a laugh and go to check the time on your phone. 7:30 am, entirely too early. You decide to try and fall back asleep, but last night's events rush back to you. Dread fills your chest, and your fight or flight kicks in. You're trying to gently escape Ji's hold, and not hyperventilate. The latter is more difficult but, since that man can sleep through anything, you were able to succeed.
You get changed back into your clothes, and leave a note for him saying that you're leaving and you'll text him when you get home. You can't bear to face Chan, let alone anyone else who might've heard you two last night. So you decide to skip out on the usual coffee and breakfast routine. You all have that tradition after a drunken night, but you know Ji will cover for you with everyone anyways.
You're rushing down the hall, wanting to grab your things and head for the door. Panic is starting to bubble over, and you're haphazardly covering yourself up to be unnoticeable. As you're slipping the mask over your face, a voice stops you.
"Morning... don't you want to stay for breakfast?"
You can't bring yourself to look at Chan, those words only setting the box of emotions in your heart on fire. You know he only means it in the way that it is an unbroken tradition. No matter how sick one of you gets, group breakfast is a must for recuperation. No one has skipped it in the months you've been doing it. We all take care of each other. But the idea makes your mouth bitter, because you wish it was just you two. Alone. Making breakfast the morning after earth shattering sex. And the fact he doesn't mean it in that way in the slightest makes tears prick back into your eyes.
Yes, you know you're being petty. You should stick it through for your friends. Take a page from Chan and act like nothing ever happened. You just can't find it inside you to care, you need to go home and lick your wounds before facing anyone here again. Call it childish, but you didn't care.
You're struggling to find words and just blurt out, "No thanks." And rush out the door, heading to the safety of your car.
You left Chan standing there. Unbeknownst to you, hurting just as much.
Special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who encouraged me through finishing this! I had finished it, and then accidentally deleted the entire ending. But in turn, that was a good thing I think... because now there'll be a part 2! If you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know and I'll start one! Feedback is always cherished, but be gentle pleeeeeeeease ♡
#bangchan x reader#bangchan x you#bangchan x y/n#bangchan x female reader#bangchan smut#bangchan angst#bang chan x reader#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x female reader#bangchan fanfic#bang chan fanfic#bang chan smut#bang chan angst#skz x reader#skz fanfic#skz smut#skz angst#stray kids fanfic#stray kids smut#stray kids angst#smut#angst#fanfic#fan fiction#choking#hand fixation#bang chans hands#best friend!jisung#kaysungshine fics
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So, uhh, genuine question.
Do you recommend getting into Bleach, and if so how? Anime, Manga, a little bit of both, secret other thing? Your posts about it (and especially about AEIWAM) have definitely piqued my Interest, but I have pretty much 0 knowledge about the topic and heard very contradictory takes & reviews before, so I wanted to ask for your advice on the topic.
Cheers and have a nice day!
So a couple people have asked me this and I'm going to be as honest and fair about it as possible:
Bleach itself is mid.
...which is why the fan works KICK SO MUCH ASS.
My theory is that the ideal habitat for transformative fan work creators is mediocre series. It has to be good enough to be worth engaging with in the first place, but it's the plot holes and dropped developments and intriguing characters that don't get enough time and shoddy-to-unexplained worldbuilding that make nice little holes for fic authors and fan artists to crawl into and built a home, like sponges growing on a dilapidated subway car sunk into the Hudson river.
So yes. Bleach is mid. More under the cut:
It's also really two series: the manga and the anime. There's more anime than manga because bleach suffers from the late oughts horror known as "the filler arc" where the studio would make shit up while waiting for the author to catch up. Not ideal, but better than the current state of "cancelling a fully written five-season show after two because it wasn't making enough money for the oligarchy" but I digress.
To grade both the manga and anime on the Weeb-Ass-Shit scale:
Weeb: how familiar do you have to be with the tropes of anime/Japanese culture in general to be able to enjoy the series? This is one of the things Bleach does REALLY, REALLY WELL, in that you can go in knowing fuck-all about anime and have a good time, but the more you know, the more fun it is. My favorite thing Kubo does is that if you look up the meaning of the characters used in everyone's names, there is a TON of jokes, foreshadowing, themes etc. baked into every name. A+ work.
Ass: how much gratuitous fan service is there and how annoying is it? So. It's not the worst. But it's really, really obvious that Bleach is written and illustrated by a straight man who is hella into tiddies. As a bisexual, I can appreciate The Tiddy (and tbh, the men in Bleach have pretty great tits too), but there are a lot of humor bits about Kon being a perv/author stand-in, orihime has medically alarming knockers for a teenager and gets groped kind of a lot. There's also a predatory lesbian stereotype character in the early episodes, and some pretty awful transphobic caricature characters. The amount of horny isn't that much for a shonen, but it's pretty gross IMHO.
Shit: how well- made is this series?
Mixed. Both the manga and the anime (esp the recent Thousand Year Blood War arc) have some absolutely gorgeous art, banger character designs, and deeply entertainingly choreographed fights. It is really nice to look at.
Unfortunately, both also suffer really badly from pacing issues that are pretty much entirely the fault of the insane demands the industry puts on the artists. If you've ever read/seen a shonen manga/anime from the late aughts through early teens, you're familiar with this bullshit- fight scenes drawn out to absurd lengths, filler arcs while the animation studio waits for the author to catch up, repeated plot arcs, minimal focus on characterization, The Friendship Speech (TM) etc.
Pacing and repetitiveness are Bleach's main quality issues, but the art is pretty baller and the Japanese voice cast is pretty fucking great IMHO. (I have APD and have to consume shows by subtitles, so the sun is usually more legible for me than the dub).
If you are coming into Bleach from AEIWAM... You're likely to be a bit disappointed. I put a shitload of work into the worldbuilding because Bleach does not, I write almost exclusively slice-of-life character moments rather than big battles, and I have made some pretty fucking radical changes to some of the characters. An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy is an entirely different genre than Bleach, and that's ok, because fic usually is radically different than it's source material. But also be prepared.
TL;DR: Bleach is mid and that's ok! My fic is different than it and that is also ok! I still recommend it with the reservations of : it's prototypical of its time period and contains many of the gross tropes from that era. It is also very much a horror shonen, just to be clear. Fucked up shit happens on screen, mostly cannibalism! Which is great IMHO, but you should probably take a stroll through DoesTheDogDie.com for more specific trigger warnings before beginning.
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mikey madison characters x reader for valentines
my masterlist, to check out my other works, is here
notes: a little late, it hasn't been valentines here for two days at time of posting! just felt like it ❤️
amber freeman (scream)

says she doesn't care about valentines' day and she's being honest, she thinks it's stupid and a marketing ploy to sell chocolates and stupid heart-shaped stuff. BUT she will also get pissed off and not speak to you for days if you don't get her anything.
if you ask her to be your valentine, she scoffs and says something to the effects of "we're dating. of course, dummy. it's not like i have something better to do on that day...". as if she didn't clear her schedule specifically anticipating a date night. nothing huge and public though. you two are more chill, and she hates the vulnerability and mushiness of PDA. (though she isn't above making out in a corner of one of her parties). if you tried to go the traditional route of a huge rose bouquet and taking her out to a packed restaurant, amber would claw your eyes out. she wants it to be customised to you two, not "basic bitch energy"
she'd get you a cute horror themed plushy. that's one of her favourite things about your relationship. you don't judge her about her hobbies and passions, letting her rant on and on, ever letting her show you wayyy too much of the stuff. at this point, it's a hallmark of your relationship, horror is something you two talk about to bond. the first gift is a teddy bear holding a heart in one hand and a knife in the other. the heart says "i can't BEAR to be without you"
the second is a bottle of whiskey she stole from her parents liquor cabinet. then a handwritten letter of all the shit she likes about you (read: things about you that don't piss her off. the reasons why you're more tolerable than everyone else in this miserable town. how you actually make it worthwhile to stay). amber tells you that she's been thinking about it and... she doesn't want you two to drift apart. it's mushy, and embarrassing, but she says she'll pick her college according to which places accept you. "where you go, i go, valentine." she plays it off with a wink, but you can tell that she means it. she can't bear the thought of being without you after all.
her favourite candy is 100% liquorice and black jellybeans and you'd get her a basket full of it (and dark chocolate). her ideal valentines date is to go to a drive-in movie theater deep in the woods to watch some gorey corny slasher, making out in your backseat during the boring scenes.
max fox (better things)

she loves valentines but all her exes have been shit and either broke up with her around that time (leaving her to celebrate it with friends with a galentines thing) or completely forgot it. so max keeps her expectations low. she's half-expecting you to come with a card and a last-minute dinner reservation at a shit restaurant cause all the good places are all booked up.
if you ask her to be your valentine, you should make it a big gesture. get sam and frankie and duke involved, they'd love it (and see how much better you treat her). you get sam to distract max on a day out, pester her and make sure she doesn't have a clue that you came over and you're decorating her room. rose petals all over her bed, a sign that frankie helped you design with some lame pun that max will ADORE, while duke helps you set up all the candles. the pun is probably along the lines of "will you be valen-mine?"
for valentines', max's gifts would be hella creative and handmade and thoughtful. a painting of you that she secretly did while you weren't paying attention and just laying in her bed. a mug she made and painted herself, with one of your inside jokes etched on the handle. a scrapbook of all the pictures she's taken on your dates, filled with notes of her favourite memories on the sides. the cutest ones being a photoshoot session on your first date, where max stole a first kiss on the final pic. the two of you smiling big and excited, not yet knowing you'd make it this far and this long.
you leave her guessing the whole time on your date. at first, you get her to believe you're taking her to her restaurant and she complains that she already has staff meals there all the time. but nonetheless, she's already so giddy for what you've done by showing up and getting her chocolates (she loves the ones with the seahorses and seashells) and a gorgeous bouquet of tulips. she's sniffing her flowers the whole time, grinning in the passenger seat. she's being so sweet and adorable that you spill and tell her the plans.
you got concert tickets to her favourite band AND they're floor seats so you can be right in the pit. max practically screams, kissing you all over as thanks. she's glued to you the whole time during the show, and you get to sing the lyrics of the "best love songs" (max's words) right to your girl. max takes pictures all night, posting you all over her socials. snapping her friends bragging about how she has the best valentine ever and they should be mad jealous.
river (all souls)

it's hard for river to make days about her, to put her feet up and relax. when you broach the conversation about valentines, she'd groan and tell you about how jade got glitter all over the couch when she was decorating letters for her whole class. you'd tell her that you meant her plans for valentines. as in, would she be yours. as in, you already paid jade's babysitter for the night and the kiddo is totally on board (jade REALLY wants you two to have a romantic night. when river turns to her daughter, playfully betrayed that you two planned this behind her back, jade giggles and gives her a thumbs up).
as you two head to your reservation, river has to be assured and reassured that jade is alright staying home for your date. river isn't used to fancy food. or sit-down restaurants where there are hosts rather than one waitress going around addressing every regular by name. when she tells you that she feels out of place and awkward even though she put on her nicest clothes (a hoodie without cigarette burns!), you take her hand and run right outta there together.
instead, you two go on a late night walk. you share jabs about the passing people you see, the man on the phone clearly being cussed out by his girlfriend, the cheating scumbags who thought they'd get away with booking dates back to back. sharing a cigarette, you two are sitting on a park bench, river sighing and apologising that she's not the type of girl who can appreciate all this cute shit you do for her. she wants to be able to swoon, to allow you to pamper her or whatever. but it's just one day, and the stuff you do every day is better. you being around is better, the most romantic gesture she's ever known.
you hit the corner store together, hand in hand. river picks out hella snacks, especially candy to share with jade, and an unhealthy amount of monster energy. you pick out a valentines card that has some dirty joke in it and she snorts and kisses you hard in the aisles. you slip a ring onto her finger.
anora mikheeva (anora)

valentines is a busy day in HQ. divorcees, eternal singles, the heartbroken - it's the perfect place for those that wanna drink and stare at naked girls all night, forgetting what day it is. and ani likes it like that. she likes being able to hustle more outta these suckers, likes that she can offer an ear to their sorrows and convince them way easier to buy a dance.
you ask her to be your valentine simply. you're laying in her bed, curled up with her all naked and blissed out, cuddling but not asleep. she makes a joke about holiday rates until you realise she's serious. she's fully booked. ani presses an apology kiss to your lips, offering to hang out the day after or something. that she'll make it up to you by giving you double the orgasms next time - giggling when you get fussy because you don't want her offering sexual favours all the time!
because don't get her wrong, anora loves romance. she wants to be swept off her feet, she loves the big gestures, the extravagant or extremely meaningful gifts. it's time that's an issue. scheduling. she can't put her life on hold for it. cutesy shit ain't gonna pay the bills.
it's surprisingly easy to decorate her room while she's asleep. like usual, ani got home in the early morning, slipping on her eye mask and earplugs so the sun and occasionally passing train don't wake her up. vera lets you slip in - her boyfriend's there as well - and she's amused at the sight of the huge cardboard box of goods you're gonna spread around ani's room.
her favourite rom coms. her guilty pleasure binge shows. a cute stitch plushy due to her disney obsession. her favourite flowers - dark red peonies because roses are way too normie. most importantly, you make breakfast in their tiny-ass kitchen to treat anora so she doesn't have to rush the morning to get ready for work.
you'll fit in the time around her schedule. you're determined to make her feel special even when the rest of the world demands that she be this very specific person all the time, this jaded hustling girl.
you sit on ani's bed, waiting for her to wake up, a tray of freshly cooked breakfast in your hands. she wakes up to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes, the way mom always used to cook her as a kid. there's cut up strawberries shaped like hearts, whipped cream on top. on the tray is a tennis bracelet she's been desperate for after some of the other HQ girls were bragging about their sugar daddies gifting it to them. you worked hard, often picking up overtime, to be able to afford it. ani gasps so loud when she realises you went all out, hands clasped over her mouth as she shouts "you fucking didn't! oh my god! i thought i was being robbed you fucking asshole!" as she complains about how loud you were.
#mikey madison x reader#anora#amber freeman#better things#mikey madison#river all souls#max fox#scream#anora mikheeva x reader#amber freeman x reader#max fox x reader
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The Wheel of Time has been trending here lately and maybe you’ve not watched it but are considering starting it. Some tips for you from me, a book reader and show lover.
Season one is a little rough. Power through. It feels kind of self conscious as it tries to set up what is a very big world. Also they get hella fucked by covid shut downs and then protocols for the last two episodes. I wrote about what, how, and why that happened here. (edited to add: I liked season one, but I’ve seen a number of people complain it felt too slow and they got bored and gave up.)
Season two is much more confident. A much better season. The characters really start to develop and come into their own. The world grows. Yes there are a lot of characters - roll with it. Focus on Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, Nynaeve, Elayne, Min, Lan, and Moiraine. The rest may come and go, you’ll pick them up over time. Don’t let it overwhelm you yet.
Season three, so far, is like they went “fuck it!” and hit the gas. We’re going big and grand. The characters know who they are (well, maybe not Rand, but that’s kind of his thing for a bit), the story knows where it’s going. It starts out slightly claustrophobic (for character reasons) in Tar Valon, but then it goes vast and beautiful. Really, ep 4 was phenomenal. People who say it may be the best hour of fantasy tv ever are not exaggerating. Moving, sad, huge, tight story, and lovely.
The show might not follow the books exactly, but that’s a good thing to me. The books have some issues. Some. Many, maybe. I’ve read them since they started, so I do love Jordan’s world, but I can admit the flaws. The show hits the right beats from the books, while giving room for exploration of different aspects of the world or characters, that maybe didn’t get the time they needed in the books. With this show I get so much more the feeling that this isn’t just a bog-standard fantasy world, this is a post-apocalyptic world that, 3,000 years later, is still struggling to recover and understand what happened, and over everything is the pervasive terror that it will all happen again.
Then aside from story, the show is truly beautiful . The cinematography is stunning. The world building vfx are grand- the reveal of the bore is terrible and breathtaking. Also, you will not find a better show for costuming - the fabrics, the textures, and how each country/culture has a distinct and “real” look. Look, it’s just a gorgeous, gorgeous show.
Give the show a chance. If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer anything and talk about it all.
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SHAMELESS PLUGGING - FFXIV STYLE!
It's that time of year again! Here are just a FEW of the amazing blogs available to follow in the FFXIV community here on Tumblr! (A lot of them can also be found on Bluesky--two for one shot!) If you're not following them, YOU SHOULD BE!
@lynxden -- gorgeous shots, amazing information on lion dancing and the history of it, even some goddamn STOP MOTION ANIMATION with FFXIV screenshots, that is astounding.
@coldshrugs -- a gorgeous WoL and some absolutely amazing screenshots, I am just... *sigh*
@darcar -- a Viera as pretty as Anna (and I rarely say that...)
@cerbaros -- the GPose just gets better and better and BETTER...!
@zylphiacrowley -- ever wanted to go through the MSQ in graphic novel format? Zyl's got you covered.
@mist-touchedxiv -- come get you some Viera lore theorizing and some really interesting backstory!
@abyssalmermaiden -- legit I wonder what people drink to come up with such absolutely fucking cool character ideas...
@iron-sparrow -- why are you not following them? Why are you not following them? YOU'RE MISSING YEIN!
@ink-dreams-ffxiv -- the fishercatte is so CUTE!
@oneiroy -- not only do they put up some hella good mods, they take AMAZING shots.
@verysmallcyborg -- and if you follow Ryss, you have to follow Fornax so you can get the complete "butches in love" package!
@nolanel-corbeaux -- you will meet the skink and you will thank me for directing you to this one.
@ser-corviknight -- Avery has such FUN characters and one of the most unique WoLs I've ever seen.
@ahollowgrave -- I will always and forever push more people to follow Odette.
@feralkwe -- watching Feral get into GPose crimes is almost as delightful as reading their fanfic.
@arty-ffxiv -- when you meet Kupa, you'll wonder why it took so long to follow.
@drownedlight - this is really just a gateway to their AO3 page, but I know the fanfic will lure in just... OH so many...
@sezja -- a violet Hrothgal is the first beauty to greet you, isn't that a delight???
DO YOU KNOW MORE??? ADD MORE!!! GIVE ME MORE WONDERFUL, TALENTED PEOPLE TO FOLLOW!!!
(Like you @luck-and-larceny I see you posting more Malika lately...!)
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AFTERCARE⭒ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
!!!!THIS READING IS 18+ MDNI!!!!!!
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
HOW YOUR FS TAKES CARE OF YOU AFTER SEX?
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
pile one - king of cups , the hanged man
🌧️
shower you with love and affection they’ll be so in love with you afterwards you know post nut clarity? yeah they are the exact opposite after they nut they’re gonna be like so hazy and like so highly in love with you like covering you in kisses worshipping your body and telling you sweet nothings about how pretty you are and much they think you’re beautiful and goddess like. it’s like every time you two make love they fall more and more in love with you if that’s even possible. your FS is extremely helpful they’ll wanna get you snack and drinks i see them even ordering food and just like being super useful and attentive to anything you need. depending on what y’all did 🫣 they’ll be very quick to clean up any mess like deadass it might get wicked in the bedroom for y’all 😈 i’m seeing the two of you guys are definitely kinky. they’ll want you to literally do NOTHING ! immediately after sex they treat you like you’re literally made of glass or like you’re their delicate little flower 🌸🥹 they’re soooooooo helpful pile 1 omgz like if you have to pee they’ll lit carry you to the bathroom. if you want to clean yourself up they’ll literally draw you a bath like they loves to being so sweet to you. i’m getting they kiss you all over they really want to make sure you are always safe and comfortable your happiness is always their biggest priority !! i cannot stress enough how much your happiness makes them happy :)
extra messages- king, satisfaction, clean girl vibes, cookies, desserts 🍮, soft pink , 333
✩。:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:。✩
pile two - ace of pentacles, six of swords
🗡️
right off the bat y’all be i’m the bedroom going games asfff. either one or both of you really likes it rough i mean there’s no holding back for the two of you i’m talking degradation kinks spankings idk y’all might even do some wax play ! after your wild ass sex sessions their after care for you is top tier their main focus and goal is to just calm you and make sure you’re hearts not beating so fast lol. afterward they’re so thankful 🥲 they think they won the lottery with a lover like you you’re hands down so beautiful to them and the two of you are so compatible when it comes to kinks and your sexual desires they know how lucky they are to have you in there mind you’re the best sex they’ve ever had !! they may have a little of experience under their belt so they know what they’re talking about and you’re the most incredible person they’ve been with. they get this giddy excitement when the two of you are finished he feels like he’s winning for life because you’re such an angel. after having sex with you your FS is just so stuck in his mind about how lucky they are to see you naked and how much they hope they hope they made you feel as good as you make them feel. i’m seeing them mainly bringing you water applying any creams and immediately just falling asleep dreaming about you 💤.
extra messages - white sheets, late nights, travel, hotels, luxurious, mental clarity
✩。:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:。✩
pile three - King of wands , knight of pentacles
🧁
you’re just so so spoiled rotten by your FS i’m getting they give hippie vibes like i’m seeing you have hella candles lit and there might even be soft music playing. after they’re all about deep breathing and they might even ask to meditate with you 🥺. this is another pile that gets really rough and crzy so he spends lots of time being so sweet and affectionate with you. their the type of person that may be dominant so taking control is their strong suit and whatever you need they’re there to fulfill your every one. they’re very good and attentive when it come to caring for you at the end of your wild night i think the two of you might even have a specific set schedule for every time he’s such a huge softy for you you don’t even have to ask for things they already know what exactly you need they’ll rub you down with oil or bring you tea or wash you down in the shower anything to relax you more for sleeping. they will be extremely patient with you afterwards because he know how much he puts you through 😉 i think they’re just a gentle genius when it comes to your body and you pleasure they have taken their time to get to know exactly how to take care of you and they live for it 💖.
extra messages- lenny kravitsz, long hair , reds and orange, grunge aesthetic, boho vibes
✩。:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:。✩
pile four - four of wands, seven of cups
👼🏾
you’re princess you’re an angel i know this is a future spouse reading but after y’all fuck they be ready to marry your ass AGAIN !! there’s literally no words for this pile they are so enamored with you. aftercare for the two of you is filled with cuddling and kisses and smiles and hugs and laughs i love this couples energy so much 🥺 the two of you are literally love bugs fr. aftercare is also filled with lots of questions about how they did? and how you felt ? and how they can make you feel even better next time ? i’m seeing your FS is a little insecure about their performance they are just sooo eager to please you because you are their god/goddess. pile 4 your FS LOVES YOU so so much they literally can’t contain themselves asking questions giving you kissing questioning if they did a good enough job or not. everything about you is perfect to them and they genuinely appreciate you so much. aftercare 4 the two of you is so dreamy ☁️ and romantic 💘 i’m also getting the two of you are like very horny even after sex so the two of you might even go for another round 🤩🤩
extra- clouds , green light, sweating, soft kisses, pillow talking , in love , they like you more
✩。:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:。✩
#black tarot readers#leovenuslatina#latino tarotblr#tarot#daily tarot#pick a card tarot#tarot cards#tarotblr#pick a pile#future spouse#tarot love#love tarot free#love reading#love tarot reading#love tarot spread#tarot pac#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot reader#tarjeta#tarot readers of tumblr#channeled reading#pick a card reading
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Nerd & Nerdier | Chapter 3
✎ ˎˊ˗ Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader, Jeon Wonwoo x reader; endgame? x reader ✎ ˎˊ˗ Genre: Fluff, Attempt At Comedy, Roommates au, Love triangle
✎ ˎˊ˗ Summary: Moving in with two introverts should have been easy. Not when it’s Min Yoongi and Jeon Wonwoo, who decide they both want you. Unhinged, awkward, and nerdy as hell, they proceed to compete for your attention in the most unnecessarily dramatic fashion that culminates into a… rap battle.
✎ ˎˊ˗ Warnings: Wildly gratuitous, You might 100% chance you’ll fall in love with both of them so that’s a problem, no mxm dynamics to be expected
✎ ˎˊ˗Chapter Warnings: reader felt violated while in the club, both men are down so bad
✎ ˎˊ˗ Word count: 1.8k ✎ ˎˊ˗ Posting date: February 26, 2025
✎ ˎˊ˗ Notes: Everyday I continue to find My People who understand the obsession with this cat and this ghost in a deep, cellular, molecular level. So here we go… Thank you Cathy Jae <3
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Ch 1 | Ch 2
Roommate Rule #3: If Your Bickering Roommates Start Acting Strangely in Sync, Something is Most Definitely Up.
After that night, a weird calm settles over the apartment.
No more rap battles. No passive-aggressive co-op games. No intense staring contests over meals.
It should feel normal, better even? But it doesn’t.
Plus, now, whenever you’re home, they’re both there. Always. Kinda hovering.
It’s never just Yoongi in the kitchen, grumbling about how you keep putting the spices in the wrong order. It’s never just Wonwoo on the couch, lost in a book but somehow still aware of everything you do.
It’s both of them.
At first, you chalk it up to coincidence. Maybe their schedules just aligned, or maybe you’re overthinking things. But then a whole week passes, and you realize—no, this is intentional.
And you have no idea what to make of it.
At work, a colleague from another department—Hyunjae—strikes up a conversation by the coffee machine. He’s nice, seems harmless, and when he asks you out to dinner, you say yes.
Because why not?
You don’t have a boyfriend. Your weird roommates haven’t exactly made anything explicit. And maybe—maybe—this is exactly what you need to clear your head.
That night, when you tell Yoongi and Wonwoo about the date, their reactions are... expected?
They don’t react that much. They don’t even comment on how you're looking hella cute with your lilac dress and heels. Stoic, as per usual.
Yoongi leans back in his chair, nodding once. "Have fun."
Wonwoo barely looks up from his phone. "Yeah. Hope it goes well."
But their voices are just a little too flat. Their movements a little too controlled.
As you do a final check on the contents of your bag (card, keys, mint, lip tint), Wonwoo casually mentions that he’s streaming tonight—his gaming channel has been blowing up lately and Yoongi tells you to call him if anything happens. Guess that’s that.
It’s fine. Everything is fine.
Except it’s not. Because the date was bad.
Dinner was okay, but when you went to the bar next door, the guy got pushy once the drinks started flowing. A hand on your waist that lingered too long. Fingers grazed your thigh like he had a right to.
You felt off. Uncomfortable. A little violated.
You told him off and walked away.
You lock yourself in the ladies bath room. Fuck. You stare at your phone. There’s only one voice you hear in your head as you stroll through your contact list. You just hope he answers.
Of course he does, on the second ring.
“Yoongi? Can you, umm, can you pick me up?”
"Where are you?" Yoongi asks, voice a little sharp. “Are you okay?”
You tell him the club’s name, and you barely get through the sentence of telling him you’re hidden away because you don’t want to be with your date anymore, before he says, "Stay where you are. I’m coming."
Fifteen minutes later, he’s here and the rush of relief mixes with the cool air as you exit the bathroom stall you've taken residence in.
You see him before he sees you. Black button down, dark jeans, and fire in his eyes, but when they land on you, something in his expression shifts—softens just slightly.
He’s at your side in an instant.
"You good?"
You nod, but your throat feels tight.
He exhales sharply, jaw clenched. "Where is he?"
You shake your head. "Probably gone. It’s fine."
It’s not fine, but you don’t want him to cause a scene.
Yoongi doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push even as you see him tensely run his fingers through his hair. Instead, his other hand find yours, wrapping around your wrist—not pulling, not rushing. Just there.
And then, without thinking, you step into him.
You don’t know why. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the exhaustion, maybe it’s just Yoongi. The way his presence alone has made you feel safe after a night of shaky thoughts.
Suddenly, the music around you fades. And all you feel is him. Warm, steady, strong.
His arms come up instinctively, one wrapping around your back, the other resting against the nape of your neck. You’ve never done this before, but somehow it feels like you have.
He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to when you feel his heart hammering inside his chest to mirror your own.
You breathe him in—a faint trace of cologne you're now so familiar with, something distinctly Yoongi—and you don’t know what to do with the way your heart twists inside your chest.
When you finally pull back, Yoongi searches your face. "Let’s go home."
You nod, letting him lead you out, your hand clasped in his.
You don’t sleep that night.
Not because of the date, not because of the club, but because of the voices in the kitchen.
You hear them some minutes after you turn off your bedroom light.
Hushed but heated.
You don’t want to eavesdrop, but you don’t exactly want to interrupt either. So you press your ear to the door and listen.
"You should have called me." Wonwoo’s voice is sharper than usual.
"She called me." Yoongi’s tone is steady but defensive.
"That’s not the point, hyung."
A pause.
"Then what is the point?"
Wonwoo exhales harshly. "You can't pull shit like this."
"Like what?"
"Like running to her first."
“You were streaming, when she called. You think I'd wait for you? She was crying…”
Your breath catches.
Silence stretches between them, heavy and suffocating.
Then, quieter: "It’s not fair."
Something in Wonwoo’s voice makes your chest ache.
You don’t know what possesses you to move, but suddenly, your feet are carrying you toward the kitchen. Before you can think twice, you push the door open.
They both turn at the same time.
Yoongi leans against the counter, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. Wonwoo stands stiffly near the sink, his jaw tight.
You take a breath, steadying yourself. "What the hell is going on?"
Neither of them speak.
You cross your arms. "I’m serious. You two have been acting weird for weeks. First, you’re constantly competing, then suddenly, you’re always together like some weird tag-team act. And now you’re fighting over who picks me up when I call for help?"
Still, silence.
You swallow hard, but you’re unable to stop the nagging question in your head. "I need to know. Is this… Am I like a bet or something?”
“NO!” both men bellow.
You exhale a shaky breath. “Then what’s the deal?"
Silence. Again.
Yoongi and Wonwoo are both staring at you, like they’re waiting for you to say something. But instead, you exhale and lean back, crossing your arms.
“You know what?” you say, voice steady. “I think you two need to figure out if you actually…” Fuck you’ll say it if they can’t. “…like me… or if you just like competing with each other.”
That hits.
You let the silence stretch. Let them sit with it.
Because this whole thing—this weird, passive-aggressive, emotionally constipated mess—has never really been about you. Not the way it should be.
“I like both of you,” you continue, watching them carefully. “And maybe that’s selfish. But I don’t want to pick between two people who haven’t even stopped to ask themselves if what they feel is about me or just… winning.”
Yoongi looks away first. Wonwoo’s fingers twitch against his knee.
“So,” you say, standing up. “Figure it out. And let me know in the morning or… I’ll just move out.”
And with that, you leave them stewing.
Morning comes too fast.
When you step into the kitchen, you immediately pause.
Because—
What the fuck.
Yoongi is leaning against the counter, one hand tucked into the pocket of his sweats, wearing an offhandedly sexy fitted black t-shirt like he didn’t just wake up ten minutes ago. His hair is still a little messy, but in a good way—in the kind of way that makes you wonder what he looked like rolling out of bed.
And Wonwoo?
Wonwoo is sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through his phone, looking like a fucking editorial ad in his oversized crewneck and glasses. The morning light is doing too much for him, highlighting his sharp jaw and the way his fingers tap absentmindedly against the table.
They both glance up when you walk in.
And they both smile.
Oh, hell no.
“Absolutely not,” you say immediately, pointing at them. “You do not get to look this good this early in the morning.”
Yoongi chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee. “Didn’t realize there were rules about that.”
“There are now,” you mutter.
Wonwoo grins, “You look cute when you’re grumpy, noona.”
You shake your head, unable to keep your cheeks from flushing despite being slightly annoyed with both of them, still.
Yoongi gestures vaguely. "You were right last night. About us. About this."
Wonwoo leans forward, fingers interlocked. "We both like you, noona. We won’t deny it."
Yoongi sets his cup down. “So we have an offer.”
You raise a brow, leaning against the counter. “Oh?”
Wonwoo tilts his head slightly, watching your reaction. “We’re going to take you on dates.”
You blink. “…What?”
“Dates,” Yoongi repeats. “One with me. One with him. Or more. Up to you…”
You stare at them. “And then?”
“And then,” Wonwoo continues, “you can decide.”
You narrow your eyes. “You two came up with this plan together?”
Yoongi shrugs.
You cross your arms. “And what if I don’t want to go on these dates?”
Yoongi answers: “Then we drop it. No pressure.”
"And if I don’t choose either of you?"
Wonwoo sighs. "Then we take the L."
…Huh. You hadn’t expected this.
You had expected stubbornness. Maybe even another argument.
Yoongi tilts his head as your eyes dart between the two of them.. "But let’s be real. That’s not happening."
"Yah!" You gape at him. "Are you fuckin’ serious right now?"
Yoongi grins. Wonwoo just waits.
You exhale, tapping your fingers against the counter. “Bet.”
Yoongi lifts a brow. Wonwoo licks his lips, now smiling.
“Alright,” you confirm. “Show me what you got.”
And judging by the looks on their faces, you have a feeling they plan to.
Chapter 4 >
A/N: To be in the middle of this love triangle is my most fervent dream, hope you enjoyed reading this! xo
QUESTIONS!!! Who should get their date first? Where should they go? Also, do you kiss on the first date? ;)
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