#and this reminds me of Yes to err is human so dont be one

[strayrainbow]

@ladylunora 's DTIYS! another one!

Still thinkin of Them, obsessed with their dynamic, I just love drawing them and nothing else apparently

Happy Halloween!

[julystruck]

WALKIE TALKIE STATIC WHITE NOISE TELEPATH CAN YOU READ BETWEEN THE MORSE CODE LINES? DEAD FROM THE NECK UP BUT LIVING JUST ENOUGH TO BEG YOU "PRETTY BOY PLEASE LET ME DIE"

[eremika-forever12]

//Eremika Fanfic : Remember Me!?//

Chapter- 1 click here

Chapter: 2

Pouring some water over the flower pot.....Mikasa finishes off her gardening in the small court yard behind her house....

As she was about to enter....inside the house....she notices someone standing far away....probably waiting for her...

Glancing over the person, Mikasa’s eyes brighten with surprise...

Mikasa looking at the person- Armin! What a pleasent surprise!

Armin foolishly grins- Ahhh....Hi! Errmm...Mikasa!

Mikasa smiles slightly- So what brings you....here? In such an early morning? I suppose you should be with your scouts at the moment ...Captain Armin Arlert!

Armins nervously Chuckles – Well ya....I do have a meeting with commander Hanjee today! So....well....but I came here to talk something important with you!

Mikasa stares at Armin blankly as she says- Go On!

Armin nervously- Wont you ask me to come inside? I guess....too much heat today...Outside!

Mikasa with a blank nod- Oh yes....Sorry for keeping you standing outside! Come in...

Saying this Mikasa goes in while Armin follows her as he whispers silently- Its Okay!

***********

That silhouette.....some one is right behind him!

Eli eyes widen as he stares at that silhouette....who is that? Who must be standing behind him?

Oh my god is he in danger? His mom has always told him to be careful about child kidnappers which roam in corner of every silent place....

Oh god the place is so silent....Eli thinks suddenly...he has started to feel nervous already!

Should he look back or should he....Run!

The silhouette was still there....

Gaining lots of courage...Eli swiftly looks behind his back...

To his shock he absolutely finds no one there...

Eli looks back to the wall where the silhouette was present....to his surprise, there wasnt any presence of silhouette either...

Eli was confused....Was he dreaming or something?

He tries to glance behind to notice if someone is still there or not!

Wind starts blowing around the area as Eli hears the wheezing sound of it....making him kind of shake in fear as he realised he is sitting all alone in this whole destructed area with no sight of any single person.

**********

Mikasa glances back at Armin from kitchen who was sitting around the small round table with a nervous look.

"Whats wrong with him? Why does he look tense? "

Thinks Mikasa....

With two cups of tea in a tray...Mikasa sits opposite Armin face to face.

Armin looks up at her and smiles...

Mikasa sipping the tea as she says boringly- So Armin? Whats the matter? You wanted to say somthing...What is it?

Armin hesitantly stares at Mikasa- Yeah....err....Its...Its about Eli!

Mikasa's eyes widen as she stops drinking the tea and stares at Armin while he continues- Your Son!

Before he could say a word more , Mikasa interrupted as she looked desperate- What about Eli? Is he alright? Did he do anything in school again?

Armin trying to calm Mikasa- Hey calm down! There isnt anything like that but....

Mikasa calming down a bit- But What?

Armin taking deep breath- Mikasa listen! Whatever I am gonna tell you...dont take it other wise! You know very well....Right from his birth I have always looked at him as my own Son!

Mikasa keeps on staring at Armin with no expression as he continues- I have never seen him different even when Alina was born...the thing is actually....I think you need to deal with him carefully Mikasa!

Mikasa frowns as she at Armin- What do you mean by that?

Armin taking deep breath- Today I saw him walking in tense mood....more like he was upset on something! As my meeting was in the afternoon...I decided to follow him to check on him if he was actually fine! He seemed okay after sometime from his expression though I decided to bid him a Hi! He was quite happy seeing me until I mentioned about you telling me to check on him whenever I can last week! He was furious....he almost reminded me of Eren! Well I dont blame his rudeness after all its all about genes...

Armin chuckles a bit then suddenly turning serious he looks at Mikasa- I think you are being too harsh on Him Mikasa!

Mikasa kept looking at Armin blankly when she said coldly- What do you mean by being harsh? Are you gonna tell me he is being rude due to me? Or his feisty behaviour is due to me? I know what I am doing & What is good for him! I am his mother!

Armin sternly- that's not the point Mikasa! You know it! More Over didnt you two had an argument before he left for school? Dont lie to me!

Mikasa coldly- it wasnt an argument! I was simply trying to put some sense in his head! I cant let him be like Eren! I cant let that anger thing control him! He needs to understand the world is cruel but beautiful too which his father never understood! (Whispers Mikasa)

Armin sighing- You know what is the main problem! You are taking his freedom away! Making him sit in the home all day wont solve anything....people wont stop saying crap about him! You both need to live freely! You need to let him open to people! By trying to make him home sick....you cant anyway control his anger! You are simply worsening it!

Mikasa glares- Let him open to people? Yeah right! So that he could kick their butts everytime they open their filthy mouth! Armin....just incase let me remind you! The people around here dont really like our presence! And I dont want my baby to suffer their hatred! Anyways he is indeed going to school....he is learning things there! What he isnt understanding is....loosing his cool wont help him! Its better to ignore people rather than pushing ourselves into hell! Let people say whatever they want....We are happy in our own small world!

Armin raising his voice- Really Mikasa? That what you think? Hiding yourself into this small house....letting Eli be bored all alone in this home! Doing such! What difference are you making? As You Said People Will Speak Shit! Why do you care? What are you afraid off? Its better to live a life the way you want rather than crawling into darkness!

Mikasa sharply- I DONT CARE! I KNOW WHERE ARE YOU HEADING TO?! YOU WANT ME TO JOIN SCOUTS BACK! DONT YOU? 100TH TIMES I HAVE TOLD YOU....IT AINT HAPPENING! TILL HE COMES BACK....I Need Answers! Answer for running away from me once again!

Armin freaks out- Stop it Mikasa! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT HAS BEEN 6 DAMN YEARS! EREN IS DEAD! And Humanity Needs Back Their Strongest Soilder!

Mikasa glares as she raises her voice coldly- No he isnt....my heart doesnt believe it! I am sure he is alive...somewhere...

Tears welled up in her eyes- He is just running from us again & again! And I dont understand Why! He promised me for the final time....He will come back to me! If he was here....Eli & me wouldnt have been this much miserable!

Armin shocked- Can you stop it Mikasa? I know you miss him....We miss him too....But he is gone! Accept the reality! Move forward Mikasa! You are only ruining Eli ‘s life! Lastly....You do know how the people acknowledges Eren Now! He is known as Humanity's Biggest Threat in History! Doesnt matter what result has brought from that rumbling! Killing thousands of lives! A murderer is always a murderer!

Mikasa stares at Armin coldly but says nothing as he continues- Eli is still a kid....he doesnt know about his father even! While the people suspects him of Eren's kid! Though they only suspect but have no confirmation! I suggest you....

Mikasa retorts back- I dont need your suggestion Armin! And What proof do you have that Eren is dead? Did you see his body? Or his titanic form again? What makes you so sure of it! Well I dont take any of it....He was your best freind....And you only speak of him being dead! WHY!

Mikasa suddenly holds Armins collar freaking the hell out of him as she shouts- Why? Did you kill him by your own hands? To save humnaity....you were the one who suggested his death!

Armin shocked trying to get rid of her clutch around his collar- Hell No! Whats wrong with you?

Mikasa leaves him with a jerk- I dont care what anyone says....I believe he is alive! Only if he returns to us one day....

Armin sharply as he says hesitantly- Will you be able to forgive him even if he returns from his grave?

************

Eli is walking hurriedly all alone towards his home....he has gone bit far today....

Moreover he just bunked his school today, he honestly prays.....none of the teachers notices him all of sudden from no where....

The Sun was just on top of him shining brightly....it was quite hot due to the sun rays...

Eli keeps on looking behind at times for some wierd reason....

From a time being, he felt he was being followed by someone! But he couldn't notice anyone keeping an eye on him...

Eli was taking his steps faster....a creepy feeling was eating him out. He was feeling nervous...

Someone is definitely following him....or was it just his intution!

Eli was walking hurriedly without looking infront when suddenly he bumped into someone and fell on the ground....

Eli while rubbing his nose looks upwards and finds two men with hat staring at him angrily.

One man says- Heyyy you little brat! Whats up with you? Are you blind or something!

Suddenly the other man eyes shone brightly as he grinned wickedly- Oh look who is here! The child of the devil.....! ELI....ACKREMAN! THE LITTLE BASTARD....SON OF THAT FREAK!

While other man whispers – Wait....Ackerman? I dont think or remember that monster name as of some Ackraman....it was Yeager!

Eli was scowling at them while still being sitting on ground but not understanding a single thing about what they were talking about but it was definitely something about his name!

Eli angrily- Hey! Whom are you talking to?

The two guys glared at him as one of them pulled him up holding his collar freaking the hell out of him- Hey You Shut Your Filthy Mouth Up! Who even gave you permission to wander in these streets! If the rumours are true of you being the son of that BASTARD! You & your filthy mom should be extint!

Saying this he threw Eli away letting him fall again....

After that both of the men left while laughing loudly making Eli angry more....at that moment he felt like punching the faces of those two old creeps.

He was about to stand and run after them when suddenly a young lad came infront of him....his hair was quite long and the long bangs he had were covering his one eye....he had a stretcher in his one hand which was supporting him to stand still....

Eli notices closely and realises....the guy has a bandage too around his head....

As Eli was lost in noticing, the stranger brings a water bottle infront of him....making him snap out of his senses...

The stranger with deep voice as he stares deeply into Eli eyes while bending a bit- Hey You! You left it there in the bench! I had been following you with my broken leg till here....Kid You Run So Fast! What's the hurry? Here Put it back in your Bag!

Eli blinks his eyes nervously as suddenly it clicked him....Was it this guy following him all the way till here! But back then....there was no one in that barren land!

Eli with shaking hands takes the bottle away from the stranger's hand...

The guy then stands straight from his bending position as he glances back at Eli....

The Sunrays fell on his body as his face shone bright....while Eli eyes widen as he still kept on staring at him while still being on the ground!

While Eli was all numb, the guy asks coldly- Do you think you can stand....Kid?

Eli was scared....he didn't know Why! But he was....all he could do was nod his head swiftly in positive way..

The stranger with blank look replies- Great Then!

Saying so he started limping away slowly while Eli kept on staring at him....

There was something about this person which was bothering little Eli so much....

While at a distance the man halts and glances back at Eli as THEIR GREEN EYES STARED BACK AT EACH OTHER!

Chapter - 3

P.S So How Was The Chapter? Do Like , Share & Comment!😎

[squeiky]

Honestly papyrus and sans are the #1 deltarune teasers.

From the door... To papyruses little Easter "egg". Tp the gaster connections :/

(ps: papyrus is way more connected to gaster than sans is. )

Then the "dont forget" <- take it literally friends you seriously want to remember small tib bits in both games.

The sans wink in deltarune.. The fact that they seem...wary of the player. In fact, they talk directly to us. And even add sound effects! How kind.

Reminds me of lancers mp3. Its a cute sound effect.

Tbh, they remind me of those kids tv shows.

You know? Where they are talking someone and look directly at YOU, and go "can you find this?" Or "what should i do?" Or "what do you think?"

Like.. Elmo, or dora the exlporer. Or something.

I could go off on papyruses flying ability, or sans timestopping, time manipulating.. Just a bunch of things about time tbh. Or papyruses... Strange music in his room, or his apperent blasters, pr the fact that he looks similar to gaster....

(i messed with both gaster/mysteryman and papyruses sprite a bit. I just flipped papyrus's default face, ontop of gasters. I guess they are just 2 eggs. Beacuse they seriously have that egg shape apperance. So we have 2 eggy bois and i love it.)

Okay i dont want to go to much on papyruses frequent wall breaking which is like 24/7 and how he knows about alphys... Or the fact that she works in a laboratory... Or how the bone brothers barely know anything about the other, and how it was pointed out by the shopkeeper that she cant tell if they are related or not..

( someone said the shopkeeper has a sister soo..)

Or how similar sans is to lancer... Or how similar he is to literally everything in deltarune. Actually he's so connected to deltarune, you cant even see him die. He supposedly gets "tired" and runs away, exactly how with the nightners.

(Personally i dont think he died. He has an arrange of sound effects,( papyrus included) such as drums and what not.)

He bleeds like the nightners. According to lancer they have a blood bucket, and someone to clean up the "blood" (i think they do, i forgot their name) and how apperently know about blood to the extent of how it works, and know how to use it as a joke and not freak out. (I.e. That one kid and noelle) to the loint of having a janitor to clean it up. And sans is the only undertale character to bleed, and walk away. Seeing as monsters IMMEDIATELY dust after being brought to 0 hp. And not bleed to death, as sans does. Which sucks alot but oh well. the ICE-E crossword, that only exists in deltarune.. That sans has in undertale.

And the connects with papyrus is more undertale related/ gaster related than deltarune related.

So mabye i was wrong and sans is more of a hint for deltarune + lancer (from his bike, to prankster personailty, to clothes, to his ENTIRE HOME.)

(the castle is filled with those forever smiles that sans has. Which is funny cause that castle is in shambles and is obviously has a terrible king in charge, and its really depressing how lancer's dad was nice, but not anymore. But yeah KEEP SMILING YA SACK O POTATOES.)

(To the benches that sans has in the fundraiser)

OH OH OH ! AND THE FACT THAT PAPYRUS REFERS TO UNDERTALE AS "HIS GAME!" AND CONNECTION WITH TOBY FOX (and possibly the temmies) AND WITH GASTER POSSIBLY BEING APPART IN DELTARUNE THATS VERY VERY INTRESTING IS IT NOT?

I mean what do you think?

Though i dont understand the "you hear a trousle of bones" in deltarune. And sans says "my little brother"..

Like how old are you sans that it conerns me. You even befriended toriel, which personally sounds awsome.

(People draw kris as if he would hate that, but kris is such a prankster, he and sans would be besties like-)

Also how young exactly is papyrus here? Asriel is obviously younger than papyrus in undertale, by using him as a ruler, papyrus and sans shouldn't be so..... Young? Adult age atleast not..babybones.

Unless papyrus indeed does the trick that goner kid did, and just doesn't exist in deltarune, due to his connection with gaster and his connection to undertale.

Unless im wrong, and asriel was just born before papyrus and sans came to snowdin, which might mean he would be older but... UGH THIS IS CONFUSING BUT THERE SHOULDN'T BE BABYBONES PAPYRUS ANYWHERE BEACUSE EVERYONE IS THE RESPECTIVE AGE OF UNDERTALE, INCLUDING ASRIEL AS DUE TO HIS CONSTANT RESETS HE'S PROBABLY ALOT OLDER THAN WE REALISE!!!!!!!!

And that papyrus cannot be connected to sans, unless toby says so.

Otherwise papyrus cant exist in deltarune, and sans has another brother or something.

Also undertale papyrus and sans are alot.more diffrent than you realise.

Actually their roles where reversed at a time! Cool huh?

Papyrus is seen being pretty depressed, while somewhere, i cant remeber where, but it is said that sans wans't always this lazy.

Which means....

ROLE REVERSION!!! Cool right?

Before you OFFICALLY MEET papyrus and sans, sans is constantly trying to cheer papyrus up with jokes

(terrible pun are normally a thing of inexperience. Unless on purpose. But he has a joke book. Most likely papyrus's book beacuse of the constant puns papyrus makes, that are really good! Papyrus is the only one who has a book shelf, so probably the quatum physics is his too. As he needs SOMETHING FOR THAT FREAKING BRIDGE. And why would you need a book if you already know all the jokes? :/ also im pretty sure either he recites it for toriel (which hes not aware is toriel) or its for papyrus. Either one makes sense. Even both)

Anyways sans was alot more hopeful and papyrus was a lot LESS hopefull. Only by meeting you, the PLAYER err... Human! He regains his hope back!

Sans is also homesick. Undertale isn't his home, he doesn't feel happy with going to the surface either.

Deltarune is the only place he truely seems at home, happy, joyfull. And even owns a...

Bar!! :DDD probably got handed it thx to grillby!

And has a freind named alphys who is just as nerdy as she was before. But now a nerdy teacher~

(WHICH CAN RELATE! I HAVE SO MANY NERDY TEACHERS IN MY SCHOOL LMAO ITS AWSOME, I GET TO TALK ABOUT ANIME LIKE-)

And not some depressed scientist with an anxiety and peer pressure.

Like no wonder he's homesick.

No wonder papyrus feels a bit "down lately." He gets the sucky version.

I guess when your suck in a strange place, a different home you lose alot of hope, rather than gain some.

Or hp. What ever you want to say. Hp= HoPe ? Sure why not i guess.

I mean, im trying to write my goddamn comic, and its gonna be hard to keep all my notes conistent.

Cause just rewatched their whole introduction and im like-

GODDAMIT PAPYRUS DO YOU NEED A HUG? FRISK MOVE, MAKE THIS GUY HAPPY. YES! THAT CONVERSATION ALSO FILLS ME WITH DETERMINATIOM! I CANT BELIEVE ITS CALLED THE "BOX ROAD" THANKS TO 1 FRICKING BOX.

YES SANS CHEER UP YOUR SUPPOSED BROTHER WITH DESPERATE JOKES AND FUNNY COMEDY AND POSSIBLE SOUND EFFECTS.

YES PAPYRUS SMILE, YES PAPYRUS GET MAD AND MARCH OFF LAUGHING HAPPILY WITH THAT ONE BACKBONE PUN.

PAPYRUS NO DONT GO BACK TO BEING Sad- goddammit he left my screen AND HES BAck... Aww... :(

What? Yes sans? He's been feeling down lately? Seeing me could cheer him up?

AWWWWwWwWWWwWwww thats so SWEEETTTTT

THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME DIRECTLY LIKE YOU SHOULD BTW. AS IM NOT FRISK, I AM A REAL HUMAN, USING FRISK AS A VESSEL AS I TOWER FROM ABOVE. AND YES I DO SEE YOUR FACE PAPYRUS FROM THE DIALOUGE BOX AND YOU LOOK AMAZING.

*Papyrus realises he doesn't have ears

[Facepalms]

*theres.just a bunch of makeup and sludge on the floor.

[Covers face]

*why does he even carry that?

[Peaks a little and whispers]

"Its always important to carry makeup on. You never know when you need it. Like now."

*papyrus nods his head thoughfully.

[cersei-ttdrp]

HY Life at the Hylton

Cersei:

Speaking to the Princess all seemed so UNREAL and all and I wasnt sure about where I was being taken but one we reached the big Hylton sign I stop being so nervous. Maybe everything she DID say was real and true. I see people leaving and coming in that looked more like MY KIND of people. Well dressed , polished, great hair. I thought everyone in this place was all crazy mad doctors and experiment freaks. It was nice to see REAL civilization!

The hybrids attending are SO NICE { aka scared of Nala }

they give me my room key and extra passes to the pool and computer bay, holo simulation room and so much more. I really only cared about one thing he names off SPA ROOM YES PLEASE!

First I want to see my room and I go in locking the door and I am blown away by the size of the bed it must be for a giant alien!

I am over whelmed by the big fluffy white comforter and feathery pillows {Gulfinal feathers so they have nice calming / easy to sleep effects } I jump on the bed laughing hysterically at making it HERE and surviving this long. I have to touch everything to make sure its REAL!

I pass out cause I was so tired really and exhausted from the lab and the scary moment with all those vengeful hybrid.

I wake up later in the day, maybe noon cause I was just so comfy! I start to feel it hit me, because this place reminded me so much of my big fancy home that..everything was gone. I try to hold back the tears and remember what Nala said. I find the tablet and look at it. I look her up on myhy space and send the invite but I haven't thought about anything 'that I wanted' I don't think she liked my zoo idea. I decide to go to the spa first and try to clear my mind. I was used to girlfriend's doing each others nails so it was kinda overwhelming EVERYONE was male here but I had taken a book end in my purse so if anyone tries anything I will beat them to death. They were all very nice and friendly and kept touching my hair like I was an exotic doll. I might have gotten some stares by being the only female here right now. Hopefully another comes in soon..

While I wait for my toe nails to dry I try the tablet and start to look up a few things but it was all so scary and overwelming. There were some ads ..BUT I wasnt sure if they were legit or not. Back home alot of the elite would make ads like this for the alien refugees who had nothing to get paid good but it was all very dangerous work or lab experiments.

I send a message to Nala.

Text: "Hi Princess Nala, thank you so much I am LOVING the Hylton! I was wondering if you knew a creditable place I could model at? I see some adds that are looking for rare females but I dont know if they are 'trustworthy' or 'safe' if you know what I mean. I'd like to just work with... you know makeup and dresses not like experimental science err no offense if thats your pastime of course. I'm just a weak human I'd like a safe enveirment and all.."

[castpeve]

The Eden Club was a hellhole, but it was better than running away from the police as a deviant. You weren't everyone's first choice, but not unpopular either. The only moment of escape rA9 gave you was when a snobby man rented you a chance to run from the club, along with his android, to find Jericho.

A/N: ok first two chapters probs won't have interactions with the og dbh characters since i dont want the story to be escalating too quickly. first two chaps are just an introduction to the reader and a few minor characters i made up (and maybe sneak a main character in, wink), i hope you guys dont mind !!

count: 2058 words

posted: 190406

PREVIOUS / CHAPTER ONE / NEXT CHAPTER

"Purchase confirmed." The tube slid open, "Eden club wishes you a pleasant experience." The man chuckled, throwing the old, ugly trenchcoat at the android. "Y/n...Eh? All yours, Matt. Ye Bastard." She stood there, perplexed, seeing the man walk out of the club, the Android accompanying him tilted his head, signalling that the Traci should follow.

She didn't know what else to do but do what she thought she was supposed to, after all, no one has ever purchased her for a whole night before. Was this safe? Was this allowed? She didn't know, but the man who bought her looked like a minted man, and the WR600 which followed certainly didn't look like the average model. Yes, it had the iconic blond hair and thin face, yet it had bright, grey-ish blue eyes and countless freckles splattered across it's face. It was also suited in grey trousers and what looked like a white long-sleeved button up shirt under a black hoodie, the Traci, or Y/n, still stood there in front of the closing tube. 'Matt' sighed, walking back to Y/n and grabbed the trenchcoat, helping her to wear it. She was inexperienced with putting on clothes more than revealing black undergarments, only knowing how to take them off.

"Hello, I'm Matthew. Err.. Y/n. Please follow me." He gave a half smile, turning his back at her and she followed. The music slowly faded into the distance as they exit the vibrantly coloured club, the cold climate made Y/n thankful she was given the coat. Even if she was designed to not be bothered by the cold...Or heat, or temperature. After all, she was just a plastic toy to be fucked.

Matthew opened the car door, gesturing her to come in. She did so silently, the awkward atmosphere immediately consuming her. The other android followed, and the car started. "Almost thought you two screwed in the club, heh." The old man laughed, despite looking rich he still drove an old sports car, not the self-driving vehicles that became the ordinary. The car blasted music, seemingly from 2018. They all sat in silence as the car drove, away from the bustling streets of Detroit and into...One of the richer sides of the city. "Get out." The man mumbled, Matthew left the front and opened the door for Y/n, who nervously stood up, out of the sports car. They entered the Apartment complex, Y/n trailing behind Matthew's tall figure the whole walk. They arrived at the elevator, which was quite spacious, the walls decorated with mirrors and mellifluous piano music filled the small space. "So," The man started, stuffing his hands into his beige jacket. "Watcha think of it, Matt? Want me to work late so you two could have some private?" Matthew turned his head to the side, his ears showed a faint blue. "Please, mr. Hutton. I never asked for a Traci.."  He responded in a small voice. "Overworked cunt, ye know you should take a break. Stop workin' and watchin' over Collie like ye life depended on it, Oliver's there for that." Mr. Hutton's thickly voice sounded extremely like the plummy men Y/n had to endure. She stood awkwardly at the side, maintaining her posture. She was admittedly more attractive than all the other Traci's, but made her a bit overpriced. If lonely men hadn't drunkenly spent their money on sex androids, then maybe they had the slimmest chance of being able to afford her. The elevator briefly stopped, Mr. Hutton stepped out as the two androids followed, Y/n still trailing behind Matthew like a lost puppy.

Y/n's theory of Mr. Hutton being a minted man was correct, the bloke lived in a penthouse. And with his mention of a droid named 'Oliver', showed that Matthew wasn't the only bot he owned. Hutton locked the doors, taking off his jacket and immediately heading towards a room. "I'll be in my office, if anything malfunctions about Y/n, Matt, just tell Oliver to tell me. 'Cuz I don't want to smell Android sex." He chuckled, yawning right after. Matthew pressed his lips together, looking annoyed. "I'm sorry, Y/n. You don't need to do the...Thing. Take this as a break from the usual, ehh...Sexy moments you take nightly?" He simpered, taking off the hoodie, briefly revealing the white button up. Y/n could tell the android was a deviant, she herself was one. "I..I know you feel awkward. You don't usually have any robotic clients, yeah? Just, we can hang out in my own...Shared room with two other androids. All of us are deviants, Mr. Hutton doesn't have the heart to report and we don't have the heart to do anything deviant-y. Two others are busy doing whatever." Y/n still followed the Blond sheepishly, taking in the warm coloured interior contrasting from the bright, neon lights of the club she's always been in.

Matthew's room felt significantly colder than the living room, yet the room still had the same warm aesthetic as the rest of the penthouse, accompanied with three twin beds, night stands seperating each of them. They were treated as if they were humans, which wasn't a typical perk humans give to servant androids. Hutton must be incredibly warm-hearted to spend this much for androids. She mumbled a small "Thank you," almost seemingly like a whisper. He plopped down his bed, she assumed, and turned on the TV, situated in the middle of the room on a small, black wooden table filled with various magazines and such. She realized that Matthew isn't going to make the first move any soon, and her main purpose was to satisfy customers. But she was a deviant, she didn't have to give in the club's greedy orders. "You can go and make yourself at home, for the time being. Until you can go back and settle in the tube thing you live in, oh that must be uncomfortable, isn't it? Oh you probably don't wanna be reminded. Oh, uh..." He trailed off, hiding his face behind his hands, the blue hue returning to his face. Boy wasn't used to being with other androids, female androids.

Y/n stiffled a laugh, "It's ok, sir." The corner of her mouth quirking up, "Certainly we can enjoy the night, though?" His eyes widened, "W-wait are you actually willing to do it?? I...Was I programmed for this..." He stuttered, shifting his glance all around the room. She cracked up, laughter echoing in the secluded room. "No, you little cutie, spend it however you want. Whatever you wanna do.." She sat down next to his bed, making Matthew sit up. If he was a human, he'd be a hot flustered mess. Frankly, she didn't imagine doing it with the boy. Something about him turned her off, not in a bad way, but in a way that she'd rather do something else than ride it all night. They have a night to spend, and that night isn't going to be spent throwing nervous exchanges at eachother. "Maybe get to know eachother? What do you like?" Seems like Y/n has the upper hand.

"Wha— Well," His LED turned yellow, which she hadn't paid much attention to. "I like doing new stuff. It's exciting." He grinned apologetically, being a shy wreck. Y/n scanned through her options, thinking about what to ask the man next. She subtly took off the trenchcoat, despite the cold temperature, it was ugly and reeked. She obviously wasn't given anything else, so all she wore was the iconic black EDEN CLUB undergarments. Despite being an android, programmed to work and not to feel, he acted like such a human. If he would remove the LED, she would be convinced Matthew was a normal human boy. And like a normal human boy, the blood rushed to his face, blue contrasting to his pale, synthetic, freckled skin, "Does this make you uncomfortable, sir?" She asked, tilting her head. Matthew shook his head, "I'm quite fine. Call me Matt, or Matthew, uhhh I-D-K."

Y/n's LED flashed yellow, "I-D-K? What does that mean?" She asked, genuinely. "Err, I don't know."

"What? then why did you use it if you didn't know?" She tilted her head in confusion, the concept of internet slang was foreign to her. "Wait, nooo......" He lightly chuckled, "It means that I don't know an answer to something." The tension lightened up a little, Matthew invited her to sit down next to the bed, offering her something to change into. It actually did make him uncomfortable, but, hey, he wanted to be polite.

"Do you have any shirts, please?" She giggled, "I-D-K, your choice, Matt." He looked back at her with wide eyes, soon a smile was plastered onto his face. "I can't believe I'm teaching another Android slang." He laughed, opening the clean, white closet. Well, one of the three. "I have, ehh, this one blue jacket, I think it would fit you. Frankly, I don't remember buying it but, it's convenient.. I guess." He picked up an indigo, red and white striped jacket that would look to small even for Matthew's rather thin build. She was confused as to why he had that in his closet but nodded, gesturing that she would be alright wearing it. Looked like it fit anyway.

He walked back to her and gently put the clothes on the white sheets, the TV still babbling in the background, about an AX400 running away from their home with a human child, the victim said to have been attacked along the way. Matthew spoke up, "They would probably find their way to Jericho, the two, I mean."

Y/n, who had just finished putting on the jacket, "J....Jericho?" she questioned, Matthew raised his artificial eyebrow. "Yes, Jericho. The place where fugitives, deviants run off to to be 'free'. I've wanted to go there but..." His LED turned yellow, "I...I g-guess I'm already content with my artificial life here.." She didn't know why he hesitated.

"Do you know where Jericho is?" She questioned, squinting at the TV, rambling about androids and Cyberlife and shite.

"Well...I've heard that there are clues. Clues that guide you to Jericho. Very few make it, I never made the risk. I didn't want to leave the safety of Mr. Hutton's home either." He tensed up, "You want to go there, don't you?" he started unbuttoning his long sleeve. "Will that be a bad idea?" She asked again, feeling that she's comfortable enough with Matthew to ask about whatever this Jericho thing is. "Likely."

He threw the shirt onto a nearby basket, leaving him with the grey trousers. Y/n's seen naked men, sometimes women, so this hadn't fazed her. unlike Matthew. He turned around, and mumbled a small "Oh." She gave a lopsided grin, before he turned around and grabbed a random shirt and some shorts along with it, "Excuse me!" He added quickly before dashing into the bathroom connected to the bedroom. Which gave her a chance to explore the room for a few moments.

The room was quite luxurious, real Birch wood was used as the floor, mostly being covered by a soft, white mat. one side had Thirium stains which concerned Y/n, but chose to ignore it. One wall was made of mostly glass, showcasing the dim buildings of Detroit; matching white curtains drawn.

The door swung open. "Hews, I'm sad to say that the tomatoes you grew sucked—" Another Android came in, an AP700, Y/n concluded, since she didn't see her come in, she looks like she had just come back from outside. The girls stared silently at eachother, before one of them spoke, breaking the silence; "I am thoroughly disappointed in you, Matthew—fucking—Hutton," She mumbled. Another android came in, sighing. "I told you."

[jskim2112]

i havent been doing my counseling homework. i pick and choose the homeworks i want to do... sessions are biweekly. the first two weeks, i was very diligent. the second two weeks, i did the new assignments but did not keep up with the old ones. the third two weeks (now), i did it for the first half, but temporarily had to stop and never restarted. 

when life hits the fan and fecal contents are smattered along the wall, i am highly motivated to address the bad habits and whatevers in my life. when dust settles and “status quo” returns, the motivation dwindles. that’s pretty common in oppressive situations-- don’t torture your people so much that they revolt and coup; ease up just enough so they don’t realize they have the option of freedom. blegh. i’m an ignorant peon.

why do we choose to live in slavery to our flesh? why am i so weak?

let’s go back to some basic things you are learning in counseling.

#1 sleep, eat (WELL), rest (no) exercise (no) nature. these are your basic needs. you are not yourself when you don’t have these things. you do not make the best decisions when you do not have these things. you are not efficient (despite what you may think) when you do not get these things. no one else is going to make sure you get these things. this is YOUR responsibility to paradigm shift in your head that you MUST prioritize these things. despite the initial time investment, these things are efficient. duh. i know you know that in your head, but your actions say otherwise...

#2 do not try to immediately stop feelings or emotions. i started “headspace” a mindfulness meditation app and it gave the analogy of someone watching a busy highway. the cars represent our feelings/emotions. it seems silly that our first instincts are to run out and stop the cars. it just causes accidents. instead, you just watch the cars. they come. they go. do not react to your emotions/feelings by immediately starting to stuff your face with food. when you put it in writing like that, it sounds absurd hahaha... you are surprised sometimes by thoughts/feelings and your hand literally twitches in repetitive movements, bringing food into your mouth, until hours pass, mass quantities are consumed, and you have nothing to show for it but a costly costly habit. you dont need another EGD to tell you that you really need to moderate your eating habits. and that goes for every other compulsive and excessive habit of yours. fix it. if you want more motivation at a time when it feels like more work to fix it, remind yourself that you are wasting precious brain space. so much energy is spent on focusing on eating and planning and then being full and uncomfortable and then the cycle perpetuates. so much energy is spent on thinking through all of this nonsense. beat it. god is a jealous god.

#3 be kind to yourself. are people born being hard on themselves? i remember hearing this a lot growing up, that i was too hard on myself... but i always thought they just weren’t ambitious or hard working or had low standards -_-... whoops. hahah. someone pointed out to me-- if you could go back in time and see 5th-grade-jenny or high-school-jenny or even now-SRNA-jenny, how would you respond to her pain? how would you respond to her mistakes and failures? how would you respond if she were a friend or sister? i bet you a lot of money that you would be much kinder to others than you are in your internal monologues... you’re right. a lot of that stuff that happened... wasn’t fair. and that hurts. but that sense of justice is not pure evil. god is a just god. just, don’t try to right the wrongs in your own ways... there is more injustice to come. god is a just god.

#4 you have friends. good friends. many friends. maybe too many friends. you love people. but you cannot love everyone to the degree and depth that you want to. you just cant. you’re giving your all to all who you can give to... but you are choosing breadth over depth until those who don’t want your breadth and won’t put up with your breadth either don’t give back or just keep you surface level-- and then you feel their breadth and then look for others or new friends hoping to get more depth-- until you see those breadth-ers again and you remember how much you love them and then try to give them depth too-- but now you’ve expanded those you want to have depth with but you haven’t expanded finite time or energy because duh you are human-- and now you’re at an even more shallow breadth until someone else drops you again-- and then that feeling of being dropped or failing to love someone you wanted to love-- that’s painful. you cause yourself pain. stop it. and if that doesnt stop you, remember that you are hurting others too. ouch. 

#5 i’m so thankful that i love what i do. at the end of a 70+ hour week, when all i have to look forward to is time outside of the hospital to go to class or read my textbooks or work on my doctoral project or write another presentation... the saving grace is ironically within those 70 hours... the moments when i actually get to pause and remember-- i love anesthesia. the gratification of hand-eye motor coordination and when theory meets application in a clinical setting-- that, for now, ... is enough. thank you, jesus, for the validation.

also, back to #4, do not insult the friends you do have and who do care for you by not thinking that they care for you, just because they dont show you care in the way you may think or see or may think comes easy to you-- doesnt mean that it comes easy to them or is a light gesture from them. be more appreciative, gosh darn it. you have some really really really incredible friends.

on that note, #6 you also have some really incredible opportunities. probably a large part of that is because you don’t know how to say “no” and so you’ve said “yes” to too many things (we’ll come back to that... let’s make that #7). but also a big part of that is god has blessed you with many skills, talents, and passions. and people have noticed. those opportunities are not available to everyone or anyone. stop. pause. it’s okay to be proud of what god has given you. boast all the more proudly of your weaknesses too. despite your short-comings and self-sabotage, look at what god has been able to bring into your life~ incredible. really really incredible. GA, Penn, LA, CRNA school, DNP project with NIH and CDC, two state conference presentations, PANA board member, girl... and that’s just the career stuff. the real opportunities lie in the people that you’ve met along the way, the experiences and doors that has opened, and the wisdom you’ve been lucky to absorb from those around you. channel that. steward that. i know you will, almost to a fault, it’s in your DNA. so instead, i just want to remind you to pause. and recognize. and be thankful.

 alright, i’m tired, and have homework... but i’m glad i made a note to self to remember #7: sometimes, less is more. i think you have a tendency to swing on extremes. you are either too calculated and cautious. or more often than not, you are way too impulsive. between missing out on an opportunity or burning yourself out trying to do it all, you would probably 10 out of 10 times choose the latter. i’m still trying to figure out where that balance should be... but for right now, at this time in your life, err on the side of self preservation. homie, just do less and do them right. i know you THINK you can do everything to the 100% that you demand of yourself... and honestly, you might be able to somehow, but at a huge huge cost-- to your health, your friends/fam, your spiritual life, ... so actually no, no you cannot. less. is. more.

things i did not know about myself: i have a strong sense of justice. i care a lot about people. i have felt deep wrong or lack of parenting from my youth. i forget my human limitations... is that pride? okay, i should stop. good night!