#Poolness

[icarusredwings]

Worst wolverine, who can now barley break the fourth wall: You know.. what's weird about being married to a man gayer then a box of peacocks is that sometimes he's so straight that it's concerning. I mean look at him. Straight as hell.

Wade: *behaving himself, all cuddled up to Vanessa*

Worst wolverine: Like thats my husband. MY. Husband. But Ness comes over and suddenly he's not my husband anymore :"( That's a straight man.

Wade: Oi dont call me that! Thats Derogatory! And pan erasure-

Vanessa: ...Why is he talking to that wall?

Wade: He's pouting to the reader. Slandering my name that im ignoring him.

Vanessa: Is he okay?

Wade: Eh he probably just wants attention. Domestic wolverines are very handler oriented. *sighs* Wolvie come're. Come cuddle with us!

Logan: *still pouting* No! You're not my husband anymore! I dont even know you! *runs away fake crying*

Wade: What!? Since when were you this dramatic!?

[icarusredwings]

It's actually Poolveriness.

i will make this a thing by sheer fucking willpower if i have too

[viejospellejos]

Cosas de chinos

[glitter-stained]

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

[huariqueje]

Pool # 27 -  Ann Goldberg , 2016.

Canadian , b. 1970s

Oil on canvas , 30 x 48 in.

[icarusredwings]

Literally. It confuses Logan so much how he's the straightest dumb ass. It kinda pisses him off because somehow he's MORE annoying about her then scott is with jean??

Sure scott never shut up about her but Wade is bringing her flowers, making her cards, calling her at the most random times.

They could be making out, an alarm on his phone goes off and Wades like "Ope sorry I got a date. Gotta get ready." And Logans sitting here like huh?? What just happened? As he watches his boyfriend brush his teeth, put on lotion and get dressed in IRONED clean clothes.

"Ill bring you back some garlic knots!! Bye big boy! Bye my widdle princess. Bye al!"

Except its not... hidden? Its not.. sneaky? Vanessa doesn't come home with him (because lets be honest its kinda gross here and she just takes him back to hers) The appartment is logans territory. Wade is his when hes here even if Vanessa visits.

Wade.. Respects him?? Puts both of their dates on the calander?? Tells him about their date, asks him when their next date is, brings HIM flowers too??

Logan "What is this? Ive never had this happen before. Ussually im being hidden and not appreciated." Howlett.

The "My boyfriend's girlfriend respects me entirely and she calls me to ask if she can take wade out instead of acting as if he's just a side piece. Shes nice to me and agrees with wade that im good for him, handsome and a good choice" Wolverine.

Wade " Of COURSE I ask my boyfriend if I can go out with my girlfriend and if he wants to come too. Of course I get tested every two weeks so I don't accidently contract something. Of course Im honest about my intentions and follow through with my word. Of course I dont mind if they flirt with each other, I like watching how red his face gets when Vanessa calls him a beefcake" Wilson.

Dead "What am I a monster?? Of course im not going to let Vanessa treat him badly thats fucked up, No why would I hide him? Hes my trophy husband and I will show him off. I hold both their hands in public and try my hardest to not let one feel lesser" Pool.

Poolveriness everybody.

And don't even get me started on his flirt buddies Peter and Nathan. If either one of them with full confidence came to him face to face and asked wade on a date, he'd be on that phone SO FAST.

"Omg really!? Like- as friends? Or..?"

"No. Erm.. is that alright or..?"

You would just see them standing there while Wade fumbles to get his phone out and starts pacing and whispering.

"OMG OMG Okay PAUSE! I HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE Ooohh goodd come on Vanessa pick up the phhonneeee-YES! oH hey babe.. heh.. yeah Uhm sooo.. remember that guy I told you about? Nooo babe the other one. Yeahh. Welllll- Yeah!!! I know right? Uh-huh. Uh huh. By 6? Hmm Hey- When do you think we'll be done? Before 6 right? They want me home by 6."

And while this could be a turn off for some people, He does not care. If you cant handle him calling his partners to make sure its okay then you cant handle him. Periodt.

"Alright, I gotta call wolvie next. See you at 6. Love you! Bye bye.... heeey Peanut. Uhm. Ssooo... yeah. Yeah!! Uh-huh!! Isn't that great!? So Ness wants me home by 6 and that should work but I wanted to ask you, Obviously... right... yeah.. No no nothing like that- i think? I-its just a movie I think... uh huh. Okay!! Pinky promise!! Okay, Byee! Love youuu- Oh the bastard hung up. So good news! I can go out with you but I gotta be home by 6 and if we wanna do any hanky panky we gotta go back to my place cause wolvies really protective of me- Oh man he loves me so much... so what movie are we seeing? Anything good? Something with Ryan Reynolds in it? Or OR Hugh jackman?"

Colossus is like an ex that ended on good terms. Mainly he just sends him memes that he dosn't understand.

the code-switching kills me

[ai-dream]

Poolroom 4.

[frontmansdefender]

Hmmm I know octopuses are generally sweet and gentle and are just curious sea puppies (and I love them!), that being said, the thoughts of being dragged by my feet by one of them into the deep and dark ocean is… safe to say new fear has been unlocked

Source

[sunseabeachpoolbabes]

Very lucky spectators 😻😍😘🥰

[taplaos]

🦆💦💦💦

[icarusredwings]

Wade is incapable of asking people to marry him in normal ways. Little guy just gets too excited and ends up always asking before during or after sex.

Vanessa just pats him on the back like "At least I got a ring pop"

Wade: I'm sorry. I crossed a line. I didn't mean to! Logan: Who says that right in the middle of sex? Wade: I don't know. It just came out. People say weird things during sex all the time. Logan: Well, they sure as hell don't say that. Wade: It was the heat of the moment. Logan: No, the heat of the moment is, "Yeah, just like that", not, "Will you marry me?" Wade: I'm sorry, just give me another chance. Logan: So you can crawl under covers and go: "Hey baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools"?

[icarusredwings]

That's it. Fuck you.

*Takes the pool out of your Poolveriness*

Vanessa and Logan are going on a date, and they're leaving Wade at HOME.

How do you V antis feel about that HM?

"OoOohHhh vanessas so terrible, vanessa was such a bitch, *Makes her homophobic for some reason*, Vanessa is jealous, Dp loves Logan more then Vanessa, Vanessa-"

VANESSA IS GONNA TAKE HIM TO A FANCY RESTAURANT AND TREAT HIM LIKE A BABYGIRL

VANESSA IS GONNA PRAISE HIM FOR HOW WELL HES HANDLING WADES NONSENSE

VANESSA IS GOING TO GENUIENLY COMPLIMENT HIS PERSONALITY AND NOT JUST HIS LOOKS

VANESSAS GONNA PEG LOGAN THE WAY JEAN WISHES SHE COULD HAVE

Then what? Huh!? Then what!? Thats what I thought you fucking cowards.

[lotussgrl]

[foolsocracy]

identity reveals are always fun

[suzieloveships]

All or nothing duo strikes again

This looked funnier in my head