#Pooldripp the Zealous

[wellthebardsdead]

Imagine if Andrew wasn’t nominated for his performance as Raphael but instead he won for this guy

[sassyandsodone]

More BG3 textpost memes!!!

[cchickki]

don't encourage this Wyll

[littlestarbigfangs]

"What is to be you first commandment, oh great god?"

[novalin]

TIL that Andrew Wincott not only voiced beloved Raphael but also Pooldripp the Zealous the Kuo-Toa in Baldur's Gate 3.

[mat-little-creatures]

Haven’t even finished act I of BG3 and already have a fave npc, nobody can surpass Pooldripp, the Zealous in my heart, I’m so sorry Dammon

[bg3smash-or-pass]

[we-ask-beforewe-bite]

Pooldripp the Zealous: You've slain the pretender! We knew in our hearts the god BOOOAL was false. But you - we see you. We know you by your true name... MAHKLOOMPAH! Astarion: If they ask for a sacrifice, I'd suggest virgins. Young and hot-blooded. Pooldripp the Zealous: What is to be your first commandment, oh great god? Levis: Just keep doing what you're doing. Pooldripp the Zealous: Our blood to fill your ocean, great Mahkloompah! Our bones to build your temple in the deep!

[morimox]

POOLDRIPP THE ZEALOUS 🐟

[linka-from-captain-planet]

I'm bored so I spun the FMK wheel from this post a bunch of times and here are my results:

Fuck: Korilla all DAY Harleep I guess Nine-Fingers Keene - I couldn't handle her for more than 1 night Dammon if I can close my eyes Minsc and I'll keep them open tbh but he does have to stfu Captain Grisly for sure Auntie Ethel assuming her human form Helsik

Marry: Barcus <3 Ulder so I can be Wyll's new mom (I got him like 5x so I guess it's meant to be) Minthara obviously Nocturne - I actually think we'd be a good couple Florrick ALL DAY EVERY DAY Nym Orlith absolutely Nettie - I can fix her LAKRISSA Mizora, despite my better judgement Araj Oblodra!!!!!!!

Kill: Lorroakan (obvi) Glut Krolla He Who Was Pooldripp the Zealous although this name does fuck Valeria - I never kill it (?) in game but just rancid vibes Gerringothe Thorm Rolan Dribbles Yurgir The Dark Urge Abdirak

[veilkeeper]

Pooldripp the Zealous: Our blood to fill your oceans, oh blessed BOOOAL! Our bones to build your temple in the deep! Narrator: *A wave of devotion washes over you - with every surge, you feel a presence grow in response.* BOOOAL: WORDS, PRIEST. PROMISES. YOUR GOD WANTS PROOF. WANTS BLOOD.

now we're playing d&d!!! of course there's a hidden cove with fish people worshiping a redcap disguised as a god of murder. of course.

as an aside, is there any special durge dialogue in here? obviously this is before you figure out you're bhaalspawn, but it seems like a missed opportunity to not hint at it if there isn't.

[crossdressingdeath]

Pooldripp the Zealous: What is to be your first commandment, oh great god? Kyvir: Perhaps you should study the teachings of my god. Pooldripp the Zealous: Yes - yes! We will study this being who claims power over you, great Mahkloompah. So that, one day... we might destroy them.

Watch out, Bhaal. There's a small force of fish people out for your blood.

This is cute, though. Cute and maybe a little worrying. Kyvir told them to study the teachings of his god because he was just a little concerned that Bhaal might be angry with him for the whole "being worshipped as a god" thing, and now they're plotting Bhaal's downfall. Probably not super effectively, but still.

[baguettemagiqu7]

FINS UP FOR POOLDRIPP THE ZEALOUS

[we-ask-beforewe-bite]

Pooldripp the Zealous: You've slain the pretender! We knew in our hearts the god BOOOAL was false. But you - we see you. We know you by your true name... MAHKLOOMPAH! Lae'zel: The god to the fishes. A dream come true, is it? Pooldripp the Zealous: What is to be your first commandment, oh great god? Levis: Go out and build me an army. Pooldripp the Zealous: We will spread word of Mahkloompah. Your glory will sing from ten thousand throats!

[we-ask-beforewe-bite]

Pooldripp the Zealous: Our blood will fill your ocean, oh blessed BOOOAL! Our boned to build your temple in the deep! Narrator: A wave of pure devotion washes over you - and with every surge, you feel a presence grow in response. BOOOAL: WORDS. PRIEST. PROMISES. YOUR GOD WANTS PROOF. WANTS BLOOD. Narrator: Intelligence (Nature): These beings are kuo-toa - former mind flayer slaves that manifest their gods through sheer belief. Pooldripp the Zealous: YOU! Our Lord of Murder demands sacrifice! You will be an offering for the great god BOOOAL! Levis: [Bard][Performance]: YOU ARE LISTENING TO A FALSEHOOD. HE IS NOT YOUR REAL GOD. Pooldripp the Zealous: Not... real? Narrator: You sense a flicker of doubt - brief, but enough. For an instant, the godly presence falters. BOOOAL: NO! NO! Stop that! Levis:[Bard][Performance]: I AM BOOOAL, LORD OF MURDER. VISCOUNT OF VIOLENCE. THIS ONE LIES. BOOOAL: ARGH! NO! SHUT IT! Shut your rotten mouth! Narrator: You feel the presence waver - one moment a god of awesome power; the next... a common redcap. BOOOAL: Ah. Bollocks. Don't do anything hasty, now. The fishfolk got plenty of power - we can share. Pooldripp the Zealous: ... blessed Boooal... What..? BOOOAL: Shut it, you! I'm talking to... my Chosen! Chosen got power - you want power, don't ya? Levis: [Bard][Performance]: LIAR! DESTROY THE PRETENDER GOD, MY CHOSEN! BOOOAL: No, no, NO! I'm the Lord of Murder, ME!

[crossdressingdeath]

Pooldripp the Zealous: YOU! Our Lord of Murder demands sacrifice! You will be an offering for the great god BOOOAL! Kyvir: [BHAAL] Bhaal is the true Lord of Murder. Perhaps I should offer you instead. Pooldripp the Zealous: Bhaal...? No... we are... we are faithful to Lord BOOOAL... Narrator: *You sense a flicker of doubt - brief, but enough. For an instant, the godly presence falters.* BOOOAL: NO! NO! Stop that! Kyvir: [BARD] [PERFORMANCE] I AM BOOOAL, LORD OF MURDER, VISCOUNT OF VIOLENCE. THIS ONE LIES. BOOOAL: ARGH! NO! SHUT IT! Shut your rotten mouth! Narrator: *You feel the presence waver - one moment a god of awesome power, the next... a common redcap.* BOOOAL: Ah. Bollocks.

Things that are so much playing a Bhaalspawn. It is wild to me that this is a Bhaalist option and not a Durge option, Durge should have the option to threaten to offer the kuo toa to Bhaal for daring to worship a false god. But I love how if you're a Bhaalist bard you can threaten to offer them up to Bhaal for the false god situation... then immediately claim to be that same false god. I wonder if Bhaal is amused by his favourite offspring pretending to be a false god that's nicking his act.

Also, I'd love to know how this random redcap managed to get a bunch of kuo toa worshipping him as a god. Also why he decided to copy Bhaal, famously ill-tempered god of murder. Not that there's a good god to copy, but Bhaal? Really? Is it just because of the divine prostate orgasm thing? I mean, that is the Bhaalist literature he's got in this cave...