#Poly's Dumb

[polygonalfish]

Quick Glados sketches

[polygonalfish]

I already posted this back on twitter but here it is on tumblr

SUPERVILLAIN FILE, ONLY FOR AUTHORIZED USE BY SUPORG (GREATER SUPERHERO ORGANIZATION):

BLASTPHEMY:

As of [X-XX-XX], Blastphemy is no longer Seafoam Class and has been reclassified to an active supervillain with a Magenta Class rating.

Blastphemy's civilian name, origins, and motivations have not been uncovered yet.

Blastphemy is a demolition and explosives expert, with an unknown certification. She claims to have been born a demon, but saw the light and bettered herself and became a preacher. Evidence against her suggests that she has never read The Bible, though she says otherwise. After being asked to recite a verse, Blastphemy tried to pull a grenade on our reporter squad.

She has a peculiar vocal quirk where it's as if she is trying to swear profusely, but can only seem to say the "clean" versions of those words. Our reporter squad asked why this was, to which Blastmephy responded "GET THE HECK OUT OF MY FACE YOU GOSHDARN LITTLE BUTTS!!! YOU'RE REALLY FRIKKIN' TICKIN' ME OFF!!!"

An anonymous source later confirmed she did not always talk this way, citing that she "tried to curse herself into cursing less, but she did it wrong and now she can't cuss at all".

There are currently ties to Doctor Shelly L'Incarnat that are being investigated.

[corethetrueidiot]

some mizukana doodles cuz i need to cope with fluffy art after mizu5

[luvindrr]

Remus gets sprayed with weaponized sunscreen

poly!moonchaser x gn!reader (but mostly remus) | fluff | 388 words c/w: remus is 24, comparison of aerosol bottle to gun

Summers with James are easy, lazy. He brings you to the golfing grounds, content to let you lounge on a lawn chair, reading, as long as you occasionally yell flattery to keep up his ego. It’s great.

It’s exactly what you’re doing when a large hand pushes up your sunglasses so they sweep back your bangs. Lips brush against the newly exposed skin- slightly chapped and sun-warmed.

You smile, looking up. “Hi, Rem.”

“Hi, dovey. Still working through that manuscript?”

“Yeah, but there’s something I want to ask you.” You flit through the sheets quickly, landing on a sentence you’ve underlined in red. “I don’t think you’ve worded this right; it doesn’t make sense.”

Remus furrows his brows, accentuating the freckles that have already started to appear. He likes them because they take attention away from his scars. But they’re beautiful on their own- clusters of downy dandelions in valleys of soft grass. They make him look boyish in the way he really is.

It does mean, however, that he hasn’t been wearing sunscreen regularly; he wasn’t this speckled last week. You bring a hand under his chin, tilting his face upwards, beaming at him your sweetest smile. He looks confused- wide-eyed, doe-like- and you almost feel bad for what you’re about to do. “Close your eyes, love.”

You spray him like a fly.

“AH- bloody hell is that?” He sputters, recoiling away from you.

“It’s sunscreen; now come back- I’m not done.”

“You’re mad if you think I’m going anywhere near you!”

You shake the bottle menacingly, pointing it towards him like a gun. “You’re just as bad as Sirius; come here!”

He does, reluctantly, but his pout only makes him cuter. You reach back into your bag, and he eyes the spray, offended, when you replace it with a sunscreen stick.

“Don’t start, Lupin; I knew you’d run.”

He grimaces when you run the balm along his cheeks, but stays still nonetheless. You’re massaging it into his skin when James joins you on the patio, club swung over his shoulder.

“Moony, you look absolutely miserable.”

“He may be miserable but he’s not getting skin cancer.”

“Too bad you couldn’t save him from premature wrinkling.”

Remus scoffs. “I’m not wrinkling; I’m 24.”

“Twenty-four and wrinkly, my love.” James kisses his lips to appease him. “And graying, too.”

masterlist

[l3viat8an]

MC:*walking into the dining room Mother’s Day morning* IF YOU’VE HAD MY TITS IN YOUR MOUTH YOU OWE ME A MOTHERS DAY PRESENT!!!

*All the brothers immediately scramble up from the breakfast table and run for the door* 

MC:*smiles and sits down to eat breakfast in peace.* 

I tried to format this like one of your posts enjoy ♡

Helsohsksjsk nonnie, this is fuckin’ hilarious ‘n absolutely perfect!!!-

MC’s about to have a whole pile of gifts from the brothers trying to outdo each other sksjksj

[gurggggleburgle]

As a former horse girl I love the Binghorses drawn by @meltedmush because every weird and cryptid suggestion and art of them just existing makes me stop and go: no wait horses will just do that. Horses are so weird. Horse behavior is so much

Horses will just stare at you through a window and if they're smart they can figure out certain doors. There is a specific kind of surreal of watching a horse walk into your house that is both very cute and cursed. SQQ could totally wake up to a Binghorse having broken into his house and staring at him

Horses also are weird and poorly designed biologically so if they sit for too long they can actually crush their organs and won't be able to stand up again. So I can see SQQ fretting over a bingfoal and asking if they're okay. Also they don't have the ability to sense being full. It is completely possible for a horse to eat too much and die. So again fretting mother hen SQQ planning special Binghorse diet only for Binghorse to come back and drop a dead bird in front of him.

It is completely plausible that SQQ can look up one day and see a binghorse sitting in a tree. Both cows and horses will climb trees. Goats too. I don't know why. They just will. The horse loose in a hospital bit is funny because horses on their own will just do that. They do just end up in places. It feels absurd but it's true. Getting jumped scared by a Binghorse totally believable.

Imagine that SQQ sees a Binghorse with a broken leg! The death knell of any normal horse. He can frett over those beautiful terribly designed legs as Binghorse is kept suspended in a swing thing.

And then the moment you combine omnivore snatch hunter it gets even funnier because I'm certain a real horse would if it could. The fact that people are in any way convinced horses are just cute and sweet and not weird terrifying little horrors of biology will never not be funny.

[polydamnory]

Poly Shaw Pack Headcanons

⚠️SOME NSFW BELOW - LIKE ONLY 2 BUT STILL YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)⚠️

Sometimes when David says something kind of snappy or rude to Angel (tsunderes gonna tsundere), Darlin will just come up, pick Angel up, and walk away saying “nope. Mate privileges revoked” - doesn’t matter if Angel isn’t bothered by it, he was mean

Milo HAS borrowed that choke collar from Baaabe and used it on Asher 👀👀👀

Almost all of them have tried their hand at teaching Asher how to cook - none have succeeded

Asher and Angel both keep getting caught late night gaming by the others, and David. Is. Not. Happy about it.

Sweetheart doesn’t purposefully sneak up on/startle Darlin the way they do Milo - they know that due to Darlin’s past trauma, they’re a lot more likely to lean more towards the fight part of fight or flight instincts, as well as just not wanting to accidentally trigger them in general

The non-shifter mates will go on a group date just the four of them once a month - the shifters do too but most of the time they just end up playing video games together (Asher) or spending some time in their wolf forms

Milo and Angel are both huge dorks for Aggro and baby him excessively

When Darlin gets really touch starved (which is most of the time), the rest of the polycule just kind of pile on top of them

Baaabe and David learned how to cook some of the dishes Sam’s grandmother used to make for him to help him feel better on the anniversary of her death - Darlin tried to help but got kicked out of the kitchen

Asher and Sweetheart occasionally team up to fuck with Milo (also Christian lol)

Angel moves around in their sleep a lot so whoever’s closest to them in bed have to be the ones to essentially smother them to keep them from accidentally kicking or punching somebody in their sleep

Solar Solstices are TOUGH with them all staying together, but thankfully the four non-shifters can team up to tackle it - Baaabe’s on cooking duty, Angel’s the one keeping David and Darlin from getting up out of bed (they are NOT above sitting on you, Darlin, stop it!), and Sweetheart and Sam team up to do some sleeping or healing magic - it doesn’t help much, but it’s something. They typically end up watching movies or playing some easy video games that at least keep them laying/sitting down for a majority of the day. EDIT: the lovely @darlin-collins (sorry for the at) has pointed out to me that both stealth’s AND vampires are negatively affected by the sun bound solstice so I guess Angel and Baaabe are gonna have to fight for their fucking lives lol

The mates groupchat still exists and Asher begs to be let in it like once a week

Darlin kind of wants to be included in it too but refuses to admit it

Asher and Angel can both dress like total gremlins and it physically pains Milo to have to see it

Baaabe has dommed most of the others at some point

Sam took a bit to feel comfortable asking to feed on any of them other than Darlin, and even then he still typically goes to them first if he’s feeling hungry - he doesn’t really have a favorite, it's just that in that regard he feels the most comfortable with them specifically

Asher will shift and comfort any and all of them in his wolf form like he does for Baaabe - he has to do it a lot for Sweetheart, their job has them stressed

David often feels like he’s babysitting a bunch of toddlers because even when they were just friends, the stupid shit this group would get themselves caught up in is insane - the fact that none of them have been arrested yet is a miracle in itself. No, Sam is not an exception.

Darlin, Milo and Angel are all terrible with horror movies (this is canon) and David sometimes likes to choose one he knows will particularly get them when it’s his pick for movie night just to fuck with them

I feel like some of these could technically apply outside the context of the polycule, and you know what, yeah that too

[startedwellthatsentence]

I would like to reiterate in an original post that from Tristan’s point of view, Max rejected him professionally, reprimanded him in front of their boss, and then rejected him romantically, within about 1 hour. Then, instead of comforting him, Avery explained to him that she would only be with Tristan if Max was also there and then sexually manipulated him into attempting to get Max’s approval. So now he knows that if he doesn’t manage to succeed in getting Max, who just rejected them both and implied he was straight, back into bed with them, then he also loses Avery, and it will be his fault that they don’t work out.

[malamilkbeats]

I haven't written in a long time, but the Pink Corruption made me want to write a short bit about an OC and something silly about Pentellow, Iris and the group. I'm posting it on AOx3. I'm not saying a damn thing./lh

This is my OC, Concavex, btw. She/they, 21 y/o. Bi as heck. A nervous wreck, but they're sweet. She's not a shape who fights, though. Their specialties are telepathy and levitating over a short amount of time. They play the violin and dance.

Just a musician, touring for her performances. They are an orange dork and fails horribly trying to hide it.

Poor Cube has no idea what the hell those three are on about. What's the big deal about liking Twilight Sparkle?

[polygonalfish]

I don't have anything better for the occasion so have some roodaka sketches

[lostlittlefoxboy]

the thought of being accepted into a poly and being taught things cuz im just a dumb fox slut and i dont know any better is lingering in my mind,,,,,m, putting it in orbit,,, manifesting it PLEAAAAASSEEEEEE I NEED THIS!!!!

[lanableed]

Thinking about the time I got lovingly gutted on a knotted dildo so hard it felt weird walking the next day. Literally died multiple times that night in the best of ways. The joy of those around me as my moans and barks became so loud…there’s no way the neighbors couldn’t hear me. The command of “paws!” making my arms and hands raise in front of me as if possessed by a spirit, followed by loving hands and heaps of praise as every “Speak!” was promptly answered by a voice outside myself. All the while, my body and my mind floating miles apart from each other…every feeling and thought replaced by pure pleasure.

Fuck, I need that again.

[deadghosttown]

Im gonna be real, i think i have an obsession with low poly gordon.

Like gordon model is hl1 should not be so god damn funny to me, and it doesnt help that as attack on artfight ive just started to make low poly version of peoples gordon ocs! Like why is it so funny to me???

Like it looks soo baddd, they look they have a buzz cut but i cant stop laughing everytime i see it.

Anyway an attack i did on @gearbroth

If you wanne see more low poly gordon oc, theyre on the way LOL

[someverygaymoth]

Cross with vitiligo but he hides it b/c XGaster is an asshole. And he covers in up w/ concealer until he gets wet in a fight, and the rest of the Bsp gets the scare of their life. B/c they haven’t seen it and thinks he’s hurt, and they don’t believe his not hurt cuz he always lies about if he’s hurt.

Ohhh he's so silly and traumatized. He wants to look "perfect and presentable" all the time. He's just not clean enough, not presentable enough, like this... he has to cover up, hide, stay safe!

[l3viat8an]

Not enough people talk about the canon fact Satan, MC and Solomon go on dates to see cat movies and go to cat cafes together all the damn time and I think it’s a shame.

[fizzyfoxxy]

sorry i died the evil scientist family au scared me why did it get 50000 likes im not fit for this 😭