#Polack Joe

[pilgrim1975]

'Spike' O'Donnell, first victim of the legendary 'Chicago Typewriter.'

It is September 25, 1925. On the corner of Sixty-Third and Western, one of the city’s most notorious gangsters is chatting casually with a local police officer. This is not unusual, cops and robbers often know each other professionally and/or personally. What is unusual is the car heading toward him. It arrives fast, screeches to a halt and the door opens. “Hello, Spike!” The words sound…

[yourcollegegirlfriend]

masterlist of eagles runout grooves

some of y’all probably know about the secret messages bands or engineers sometimes stamp into records, like “tear down the walls” across the four sides of the clash’s london calling or, well, actually i did some research and there are quite a few odd examples in this article. anyway, eagles fans have likely heard about the hotel california runout groove marked “v.o.l. is five piece live,” which indicates that victim of love was recorded completely live with no overdubbing for the album. but after listening to an interview with the eagles circa 1980, i realized this was hardly the only runout groove inscription of their career, and went searching through my albums…

one of these nights

side one - don’t worry….

side two - ….nothing will be ok!

hotel california

side one - is it 6 o’clock yet?

this apparently refers to bill szymczyk’s policy against mind-altering substances in the studio until six pm.

side two - v.o.l. is five piece live.

the long run

side one - never let your monster lay down.

along with the “monster smile” in ‘the greeks don’t want no freaks’, this note is a bit of “eagle code”, the monster being “almost too many beers…but not quite,” according to joe.

side two - from the polack who sailed north.

this one is possibly a signature from szymczck, who was in the navy for four years.

eagles live

side one - is it illegal to yell “movie” in a firehouse?

side two - hello federal? …ship it!

side three - not tonight thanks….

side four - ….i’ve gotta rest up for my monster.

greatest hits vol. 2

side one - lenny and leon say…

side two - ….”everything that comes together falls apart.”

since most of the inscriptions were allegedly written by szymczyk, they continue occasionally on eagles’ solo albums (on joe’s there goes the neigbhorhood: “it’s been fifteen years and i still can’t spell szymczyk./is it one L or two?”), although some are more personal (joe’s you bought it, you name it: “welcome lucy…12-3-82. 10:12 am.”). you can find a full list on L&M’s eagles fastlane. their list also includes a secret message from their greatest hits (”happy new year glen [sic]./with love from bill.”) i chose not to include it in my list because the album was produced by glynn johns, not szymczyk, and there is no message on my copy. in the interview i linked, joe also mentions a solo album with the inscription “all you need are fleas,” but i couldn’t find any more information on it.

personally, i’m just excited to have discovered something new about records i’ve loved for years, and i don’t think there’s anything satanic in hotel california played backwards (except “skcollob,” as jeff lynne would say). but you do have to wonder about some of these phrases - the repeated “monster” theme is admittedly kind of ominous. what do you think? any guesses on meanings?

[alivenaturalsound]

MARK PORKCHOP HOLDER "Let It Slide" out today!

MARK PORKCHOP HOLDER’S NEW SOLO STUDIO ALBUM “LET IT SLIDE” OUT TODAY ON VINYL, CD, DIGITAL & STREAMING FORMATS

TOUR DATES KICK-OFF TONIGHT IN CHATTANOOGA!

HERE’S WHAT FOLKS HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT MPH’S LET IT SLIDE:

The great Mark ‘Porkchop’ Holder is back in action with a power trio. And it is fire in a barrel. If the Rolling Stones camped with Howlin’ Wolf and Billy Gibbons on trucker speed for the weekend with a fuzz pedal, this would be its precious procreation. – NO DEPRESSION

One of the most-anticipated releases of 2017: Mark Porkchop Holder’s Let It Slide – PREMIER GUITAR

Mark Porkchop Holder is roaring back with this fiery new blues album. – PURE VOLUME

Fantastic blues-rock. Let It Slide is good from front to back. – AMERICANA MUSIC SHOW

… equal part blues and rock, and 100% awesome! – PURE GRAIN AUDIO

What a great way to open a show… a great blues-rock sound. – SONIC BANDWAGON RADIO: UK

Nobody could ever deny that Porkchop has a dump truck full of talent, but his new track “Disappearing” makes clear that the man can wield that talent in many ways. – CHATTANOOGA PULSE

Let It Slide sees guitarist, harmonica player and songwriter Mark ‘Porkchop’ Holder (a founding member of Tennessee punk-rock/blues band The Black Diamond Heavies) fronting a blues power trio and it’s got that dirty, road house vibe. – MAXIMUM VOLUME MUSIC

This album is a great mix of blues and rock and roll that begs to be blared from speakers whether they are in your car or house. Holder has tremendous skill as a slide guitarist and produces songs that you want to hear repeatedly. – AXS

MARK PORKCHOP HOLDER TOUR DATES: February 10 @ Tremont Tavern — Chattanooga, TN February 17 @ JJ’s Bohemia — Chattanooga, TN February 19 @ Sluggo’s — Chattanooga, TN February 24 @ Murphy’s — Memphis, TN February 28 @ The Thirsty Devil — Tupelo, MS March 2 @ Hey Joe’s — Cleveland, MS March 3 @ Shipping and Receiving — Fort Worth, TX March 4 @ Leftwoods — Amarillo, TX March 6 @ Redwood Bar — Los Angeles, CA March 7 @ The Torch Club — Sacramento, CA March 9 @ Aptos Street BBQ — Santa Cruz, CA March 11 @ G. Street Bar & Grill— Grants Pass, OR March 12 @ Wildwood Hotel — Willamina, OR March 16 @ Treehouse Cafe — Bainbridge Island, WA March 29 @ Bayport BBQ — Bayport, MN March 30 @ Hook & Ladder — Minneapolis, MN March 31 @ Polack Inn — Wausau, WI April 1 @ Lyric Room — Green Bay, WI April 2 @ The Lift — Dubuque, IA April 4 @ The Brass Rail — Ft. Wayne, IN (w/ Left Lane Cruiser) June 3 @ Goat Fest IV @ The Shack Up Inn — Clarksdale, MS

MARK PORKCHOP HOLDER “Let It Slide” out today! was originally published on Alive Naturalsound Records

[emichaelschultz]

DUTCH

I’m a kid, a round and squat thirteen, won’t shoot up to six feet for three years yet. I’m standing in Heshy’s candy store on the corner of 6th Street and Avenue B, just around the corner from where I live on 7th. You’d recognize Vazac’s Bar & Grill on the southwest corner of seventh, a familiar set from the Godfather and other movies. But in 1945 it’s the neighborhood watering hole and reception hall for local weddings and funerals. I don’t know it yet, but we’ll celebrate oldest brother Joe’s wedding there and, later, our father Joe’s funeral. Getting ahead of myself again. Back to Heshy’s.

 Hearing my order, Hesh leaves off scolding his wife to be sure that none of the elementary school kids just pouring in from PS 71 leave any nose prints on the case of the shop’s fabulous homemade chocolate candy case. Mrs. Hesh, a once very pretty and slim brunette now worn into plump middle-age shoots a “spare me” look to heaven while wiping off yesterday’s nose prints. Hesh takes an empty Coke glass from the shelf of clean glasses, sundae goblets, and ice cream dishes, plunges it into a sink of cold water to make it almost clean, which he satisfies himself is accomplished by passing it under the flickering fluorescent lamp above. His thick hand gives two mighty pushes on the syrup pump and two dark blobs of Fox-Ubet chocolate plop into the glass, followed by a splash of milk from the open bottle yanked from the ice cream bins; finally a thin glittery stream of seltzer obeys Hesh’s well-practiced pull-release-pull technique on the swan-necked fountain tap and it’s done. The sweet milk-chocolatey mess has become the  legendary Egg Cream, a drink that never did, never will, know an egg.

 “Hey, Hesh! I’ll take a pair of cigs, whatever’s open.” Jerry slaps two pennies on the cold marble counter and looks at my egg cream. “Y’know, kid, Moishie’s on Second Avenue makes them better,” and after a quick look to Heshy whispers loudly,“and bigger.” From Day One in Junior High 64 Jerry didn’t have to work too hard to earn his “ball breaker” rep. Like my ability to read a line so it didn’t sound like I was reading but making it up, it was a gift. His gift got him a lot more attention than mine did me, and more fights. But that’s neither here nor there. Yet.

 “Got no packs open, Bernwitz, and even if I did it’s three cents for one,” Hesch said flatly, but wringing the wet rag in his hands as if it were someone’s throat.

 “Heshy, Heshy, whadda y’say? You don’t try to jew me up and I won’t try to jew you down. How ‘bout we settle -- say two for two, fresh pack, okay? Special price for special customer.” Jerry smiled but there was no amusement in it. Behind the counter, Heshy stood, still, and said, “Jewish is a religion, not a word to be used like that, mister. And the price to everyone is three cents for one cigarette, sixty cents a pack of twenty, six dollars a carton of ten packs.”

 Hesh, short for Herschel, got out of Poland just before Hitler marched in. Marianne, Mrs.Hesch, creator of the imaginative chocolate candies behind the glass she wipes, sensed Hitler was not a good businessman and urged Herschel to leave his job as Chef of The Grand Krakow hotel. Creating fabulous chocolate candies she could do as well in America she urged. “Better to be poor and free, Herschel,” she said with “alive” not spoken but intended. Now, here Hesh, poor and free and alive, owner of a candy store on the lower east side facing down a petty tyrant of sixteen who probably can’t even spell the word “respect.”

 Me? I’m scared of everything and feel a bit of wet forming in my underpants, hoping my knee-high whistling britches will keep it all in. A silly giggle escaped from somewhere near me. Me, I guess because Hesh shifted his hard gaze from Jerry to a puzzled one at me. The anger fell from his great, round face and a laughing smile rushed in to fill it. He pointed at me, nodding at Jerry to look. Jerry, was near me and had to step away to see what Hesh was so tickled by. One look and Jerry joined the pointing and the laughing. At me. I hate being laughed at.

 Hesh reached under the counter, pulled out a piece of the mirror he’s been planning to replace for weeks and beckons me to take a look. Laughter is good. I like laughter. But not when it’s aimed at me. I watched as my face moved onto the shard of mirror. “Oh,” I heard myself say looking at what was unmistakenly my chubby pink Polack face. I didn’t like what I saw, but I thought if this could stop a bad moment from becoming a worse one, go with it. So I laughed, louder than Jerry and Hesh who were now companions in mirth, and I made a big deal of wiping the foamy chocolate moustache from my upper lip with one grand swipe of my tongue. “And I thought you guys would never catch on!” I said.

[popezoidbergthefirst-blog]

Sometimes it’s a hard world for the little things.

wherein our hero reflects on what a great fkn movie Raising Arizona is. 

So often when I’m at the store, I throw a movie on to put on the background while I’m rearranging things and killing time. Today’s feature was O Brother, Where Art Thou?, a personal favorite of my late grandfather that I must have seen about 200 times in my life and I do love it. If you haven’t seen it, what are you doing with your life? I’m kidding. But seriously. I’m joking. But not really.

It’s a wonderful film with beautiful period set pieces, great acting and a truly amazing soundtrack which brings made me think of the song Holly Hunter sings in Raising Arizona to Nathan Jr. that I’ve been obsessed with since I was young. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen Raising Arizona, my other grandfather had a sizable VHS collection and in my youth I was given free range to watch whatever I wanted. Everything from Little Shop of Horrors to Arachnophobia to Army of Darkness to Rocky and Bullwinkle. I was a weird kid. 

What I love about Raising Arizona is everything, really, but it’s a like a southwestern fairy tale. It’s a slapstick comedy, it’s a ominous Road Warrior nightmare. And everybody is fantastic in it; Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, William Forsythe, and even Francis McDormand’s small part is great example of the hell awaiting domestication in H.I.’s mind. I think it’s a great Nicolas Cage role bc he plays a guy who wants to do the right thing, he wants to give his wife the family she deserves. He wants to be the 9 to 5 Joe that everyone else is but he can’t deny who he really is.

The story is perfect. Randall Cobb as the “Dark Rider,” the human realization of death, destruction and chaos might be one of my favorite plot devices ever. That foreboding feeling of dread and fear we all feel, personified. I could literally go all day about the levels of that movie but I wanna talk about the ending. It could be my favorite ending to a movie, H.I. dreams of the future. We find out that Goodman and Forsythe go back to prison, the one place that really makes sense to them. That Sam McMurray’s Glenn gets his comeuppance by telling one Polack joke too many, that Nathan is gonna be just fine growing up and maybe they did something good for him. He dreams on and on, seeing himself and Holly Hunter, surrounded by loved ones and ultimately, when they’re old and grey, with each other. 

Life is scary. It’s messy, it’s violent. It’s astounding and it’s awe-inspiring. But most of all, it’s that fear that keeps us clinging to our anxieties and insecurities and to me, it gives me hope that it really will all turn out alright in the end. Nicolas Cage’s life is pretty much destroyed at the end, he’s unemployed, possibly separated, definitely friendless. But he still dreams of that future where everything figured itself out. I don’t know. Maybe it was Utah.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Several Liquor Cases Before Thursday’s Police Court,” Porcupine Advance (Timmins). April 16, 1919. Page 08. --- Magistrate Atkinson had a heavy docket and many important cases before him on Thursday last. He was unable to deal with them all in the one day as usual, and so Friday was also given by him to the court here.

The Austrians who raised such a time recently in Moneta through a free-for-all fight in which hand axes figured also had their cases disposed of. For want of material evidence and because of the Austrian stories told by the witnesses there was no conviction in any of the cases heard on Thursday, all being dismissed. In connection with this case one Austrian was committed some weeks ago to stand trial before the Judge for assault.

The case against A. Lalonde was remanded for a week. 

Walter Wilson for having liquor illegally was fined $200.00 and costs, and C. Houle was given a similar penalty for a similar breach of the O.T.A. Joe Karaviez, for being drunk and less frank about it, paid $20.00 and costs. A man named Tremblay was fined $10 and costs for being drunk and a Polack paid $300.00 for illegally having liquor. The latter case was the one in which a still figured. The town police picked up a drunken man and found a bottle on him. He told where he secured the bottle, and from the second man thus mixed in the case came the tip that brought in the Polack. The house of the latter back in the bush in the Township of Tisdale was visited Wednesday night by a group of Town and Township police. A still was located in the house, as well as a quantity of home-made whiskey and a hundred gallons of mash. The officers had a six or seven mile walk out for this case, and the still was brought back with them as well as some of the other evidence. It was expected that the case would be held over until the Inland Revenue Officer could lay the charge for illegal possession for a still, but Constable Raycroft thought it best to go on with what could be done at once. Accordingly the alien was charged with illegally having liquor and the $300.00 fine was imposed by the Magistrate.

The other important case before the Court was the preliminary hearing given Mary Norlock, charged with murder.

Chief Chas. McInnis, of Tisdale, had two Austrians before the Court charged with not reporting as alien enemies. Each of the men paid a fine of $100.00 and costs for the impudent carelessness shown.