popezoidbergthefirst-blog

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BoJack Horseman

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So sorry I haven’t been posting, it’s been crazy at the store and I got busy doing this. Sketch MS Paint Fresh Paint

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Chan’s the man

wherein our hero learns something new and completely pointless.

I love useless information. I do believe in useless information; that there are somethings that do exist, that did happen, and we don’t need to bring that up or remember that ever again. But that’s the thing about me, I DO. I’m the guy that focuses on random pop culture trivia and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop myself. 

When I was growing up, I watched the Jackie Chan Adventures and it was awesome. No, it wasn’t but I dug the premise of the show. Not really but the 12 magical talismans of the Chinese Zodiac was a nice gimmick, and I was like 9 when it was on the air. So I’m watching a few episodes bc every now and then I get a bug up my ass about watching something I vaguely remember liking, I couldn’t tell you why but I noticed something.

I say noticed like it was subtle but the whole point of it is that it wasn’t at all. It was heavy-handed, ham-fisted, some other expression meaning it was as graceful as an ice cream truck. The end credits song, “Chan’s the Man.” Everything I’m about to type is all 100% true, I want this remembered. In the pop-punk, indie college rock fueled late 90′s, there was a band called Wheatus. Remember Wheatus? No you fkn don’t bc their biggest claim to fame was the song, “Teenage Dirtbag” on the Jason Biggs/Mena Savari 1998 opus Loser soundtrack. Well that and they’re credited for composing “Chan’s the Man.” I say composing bc they didn’t really write the song. Not the lyrics anyway, after being bought by the creators of the Jackie Chan Adventures. The original title of “Chan’s the Man” is called “Punk Ass Bitch.” I’m not fkn with you, I’ve included both songs below. The song was only played on the first season’s end credits, after that it was a variation of the main theme. What was the point of all of this? Absolutely nothing, and maybe that was the point. I think everybody has just useless info in their heads at all times and that’s the stuff that catches up with us, that sticks with us. I still remember the Luke Reilly Honda jingle in Dallas when I was a kid. I remember fighting with girl I had a crush on that Jack and Rose from Titanic weren’t real people that existed, it was a story. At 6 years old. I remember the practices and workings of Walmart, departments and all. I remember how my ex’s like their coffee, which songs to avoid playing around them cause it made them sad. All of this is a part of me. I like to think that’s kinda what makes us, us.  If you read all this, then I thank you and I apologize for wasting most of your time. But you’ll remember this. And that’s now a part of you.

“Yeah, uh... Base? We got, uh, Xena, Jackie Chan and Robin Hood.” -Random Shield Agent in Thor (2011)

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Sometimes it’s a hard world for the little things.

wherein our hero reflects on what a great fkn movie Raising Arizona is. 

So often when I’m at the store, I throw a movie on to put on the background while I’m rearranging things and killing time. Today’s feature was O Brother, Where Art Thou?, a personal favorite of my late grandfather that I must have seen about 200 times in my life and I do love it. If you haven’t seen it, what are you doing with your life? I’m kidding. But seriously. I’m joking. But not really.

It’s a wonderful film with beautiful period set pieces, great acting and a truly amazing soundtrack which brings made me think of the song Holly Hunter sings in Raising Arizona to Nathan Jr. that I’ve been obsessed with since I was young. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen Raising Arizona, my other grandfather had a sizable VHS collection and in my youth I was given free range to watch whatever I wanted. Everything from Little Shop of Horrors to Arachnophobia to Army of Darkness to Rocky and Bullwinkle. I was a weird kid. 

What I love about Raising Arizona is everything, really, but it’s a like a southwestern fairy tale. It’s a slapstick comedy, it’s a ominous Road Warrior nightmare. And everybody is fantastic in it; Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, William Forsythe, and even Francis McDormand’s small part is great example of the hell awaiting domestication in H.I.’s mind. I think it’s a great Nicolas Cage role bc he plays a guy who wants to do the right thing, he wants to give his wife the family she deserves. He wants to be the 9 to 5 Joe that everyone else is but he can’t deny who he really is.

The story is perfect. Randall Cobb as the “Dark Rider,” the human realization of death, destruction and chaos might be one of my favorite plot devices ever. That foreboding feeling of dread and fear we all feel, personified. I could literally go all day about the levels of that movie but I wanna talk about the ending. It could be my favorite ending to a movie, H.I. dreams of the future. We find out that Goodman and Forsythe go back to prison, the one place that really makes sense to them. That Sam McMurray’s Glenn gets his comeuppance by telling one Polack joke too many, that Nathan is gonna be just fine growing up and maybe they did something good for him. He dreams on and on, seeing himself and Holly Hunter, surrounded by loved ones and ultimately, when they’re old and grey, with each other. 

Life is scary. It’s messy, it’s violent. It’s astounding and it’s awe-inspiring. But most of all, it’s that fear that keeps us clinging to our anxieties and insecurities and to me, it gives me hope that it really will all turn out alright in the end. Nicolas Cage’s life is pretty much destroyed at the end, he’s unemployed, possibly separated, definitely friendless. But he still dreams of that future where everything figured itself out. I don’t know. Maybe it was Utah.

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A contract’s a contract.

wherein our hero watches Teen Titans: The Judas Contract. 

I had the opprotunity last year to meet Marv Wolfman last year at Alamo City Comic Con (who is the brain behind creating a plethera of amazing comic book characters; Deathstroke, Tim Drake, Cyborg, Raven, Starfire, Beast Boy, Bullseye, the Anti-Monitor, Trigon) He was a super nice guy and signed our first appearance of Blade and out of 40+ years in his career, The Judas Contract might be one of the most important storylines he wrote (I feel like Crisis On Infinite Earths is kind of a given) We’ve adapted it again and again. (and again)

I watched the latest adaptation from Warner Bros. Animation, run by the brilliant Bruce TImm (who created Batman the Animated Series, who SHOULD be calling the shots on the DCEU movies but that’s none of my business) and I really do feel like that he’s the one who probably has the strongest track record when it comes to DC movies and TV shows. My opinion on the DC Animated Movies is that 4/5 are decent/well made and usually that fifth one sucks pretty bad. (I’m looking at you Killing Joke and Suicide Squad: Assault On Arkham) This one was pretty solid.

It features the latest line-up of Teen Titans: Starfire, Raven, Blue Beetle, Beast Boy, Damian Wayne, and Terra (if you’ve ever seen the original Teen Titans TV show, you know where this is going) with help from Nightwing. As far as the adaptation, I really can’t complain; they had to update the story because the original comics universe doesn’t technically exist anymore. If I did have a problem with it, it’d probably be the Terra/Deathstroke little love tryst... thing. That felt wrong. I didn’t really care for that.

Other than that, again I liked it. We weren’t reinventing the wheel or breaking new ground. It was a Teen Titans story that we’ve heard before and they didn’t get in their way to ruin it, but what does that say for our expectations from DC? I remember being 5-6 and watching the 1989 Michael Keaton Batman over and over again because it was new, it was everything I could possibly want at 5 or 6 years old. Now that I’m older, I haven’t really liked a DC movie since The Dark Knight almost 10 years ago.

An argument could be made that their past haunts them, that they’ve had over 80 years of storylines; what else could they do? But that’s where my love of Geoff Johns gets validated bc he doesn’t view that as a hindrance, it’s our history. Our legacy.There’s a respect for the stories that came before him in his writing and I don’t see that in the movies. We’re getting new directors for the stand-alone Justice Leaguers movies every month, it makes me feel like they don’t know what the hell they’re doing over there. That they’re in over their heads, they’ve started this whole thing and now they don’t know where to go.  I’m not saying I’m right, I’m usually not but I love DC and it hurts to see all this confusion and mediocrity when I’ve seen brilliant work before. By all means, watch The Judas Contract when it comes out on DVD, Blu-Ray or Streaming and pray with me that DC can get through these growing pains. Even though we’ve been making DC movies for almost 40 yea- you know what? I’m not gonna start. I’m gonna end this being nice. Teen Titans: The Judas Contract. Watch it.

“People still think of me as a cartoonist, but the only thing I lift a pen or pencil for these days is to sign a contract, a check, or an autograph.” -Walt Disney

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Smile Darn Ya, Smile

wherein our hero gets frustrated with Funko.

Rick and Morty season three premiered last Saturday in spectacular fashion with a prank that was so meta, it’s had to come from Mr. Justin Roliand and Mr. Dan Harmon. After a year and a half of waiting, we were finally sated and it was so fkn good. With the new season right around the corner and the Rick and Morty Funko Pops already hitting some stores, I think we should address the elephant in the room. Funko, stop it with the 1 in 6 chases. It’s not funny anymore. In a lot of ways, I get it. The old days were filled with such excitement and sheer bliss when you found that chase in the wild; you’d move around the mess of Pops at Hot Topic (not judging, just stating a fact) and you’d see that sticker and lose your mind. With a 1 in 36 ratio, chase Pops were brief moments of pure happiness. Of course, in order for a store to guarantee they were getting a chase, they’d have to drop at least $250 minimum and then sell each and every one. To make things simpler, Funko started out with a Zero and Vampire Spike chase back in 2014 at a 1 in 6 ratio and people were happy. Fast forward to last year when they released the ID4 Alien, Duck Dodgers and Space Cadet chases and I saw a very interesting thing happening. Not only did the all three chases eventually dip dramatically, the commons were in a free fall. I myself have 8 Duck Dodgers I’ll probably never sell.  However you feel about the 1 in 6 ratio or chases in general, you had to be pissed with the Rick and Morty series 2 announcement. Sure, that Mr. Meeseeks (look at me) chase is fantastic and clever, the Weaponized Rick is a giant middle finger to Pop collectors. They changed his smile. That was literally it. He’s smiling now. Chase sticker.  I like chases, I like Pops. I don’t like being insulted by thinking I’m gonna spend $50 on a sticker and a smile when it’s the only difference. Now of course they got most of us over a barrel; I’m a completest. I have to have the whole set if I really love the series and I really do love Rick and Morty. The whole situation is upsetting to me and of course I’m gonna keep buying Pops but we have to ask is the price worth it? I’m one guy who like toys so don’t take my word as gospel, I just felt like we should talk about the state of chase Pops if we’re gonna keep forking over 40+ a piece if we couldn’t find them in the wild. Star-Lord has dropped to $30 shipped, I sold a Space Cadet for $20 the other day in the store and of course there were people paid even more when they first dropped. They’re not happy anymore “Smile like you mean it.” -The Killers

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I Am Groot

wherein our hero makes an unlikely companion.

Back in 2011 when Pops where in their infancy, Funko decided to roll the dice on 9 inch Pops; Batman, Mickey Mouse, Buzz Lightyear to name a few. After all was said and done, Funko decided 6 inch Pops were the way to go and I did not agree with that at all. I had 9 inch Daryl at one point, he was a massive fkn Pop, really solid and well made. To be a hundred percent honest, I think they missed a lot of opportunities not continuing the line but if the new 10 inch Groot (Target Exclusive) is any indication, they’ve learned that lesson.

When you first pick it up, you notice the weight. Granted, yes it is a 10 inch fkn Pop and yes, Funko is not afraid of making weapons (I’m looking at you Sharknado and Arkham Asylum Killer Croc) but you’re not expecting the size or how it doesn’t look super-imposed or like it’s forced. You look him in his big black eyes and that sweet smile and you’ve got yourself a new best friend.

I’m gonna take a second and talk about the fickle, funny beasts that are Pop collectors. Some are OCD mental patients (myself included) who must have perfect boxes to maintain peak optimal value. Some are anachronistic madmen who want to see the sky lit on fire, otherwise known as out of box collectors. (OOB) Truthfully, I don’t care what other people do with their Pops, I just know I like a clean, mint box and this Groot is truly a clean, mint box. It’s beyond beautiful, thanks to one of my regulars for hooking me up.

Now let’s talk about price. He retails for $29.99 and is worth every fkn penny. But such is the nature of the game to try to make a quick buck so right now, the market price is about 60-ish. (lowest price on eBay: $55 shipped, Amazon: $70 shipped) so right now is the time to pick them up before the movie comes out. Depending on how big the movie is, I could see these going up to $100 easy if the sequel is just a good as the first. Even if the movie sucks, it’s still an impressive piece to add to any collection and no matter how you feel about the cute-sy factor of Baby Groot and the old ‘bigger is better’ adage, he’s fkn adorable.

“America is coming about, and it’s coming back, and it’s roaring and you can hear it. It’s going to be bigger and better. It is going to be. It is going to be. Remember. And it’s roaring. It’s going to be bigger, and better, and stronger than ever before.” -Donald Trump

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Also sprach Zarathustra

wherein our hero starts a new tumblr.

Well it’s been about 6ish years since I had a tumblr, now that the store is getting established I figure getting a web presence could only help. I’ve spent the last 10 months meeting thousands of people, having hundreds of hours of conversation and now I wanna bring some of that online. From reviews for shit I’m watching to mini-rants about whatever bugs me that day to simple retrospectives, honoring some artist in some form or fashion.

I’ll try to record conversations at the store and I’d like to start a round table discussion podcast within the next few months so this will be good practice for me attempting to focus my random knowledge and perspective on a single topic at a time. I hope this becomes something, I hope I have the discipline to make this real and above all, I hope to bring a little positive and a smile to your day.

In future, I plan ending everything with a quote that speaks to me on some level but for right now let me just say, “Welcome.”

-robbie