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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
#Plutarch#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
#Plutarch#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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happy valentine’s day!
Tia Williams, Seven Days in June | Mikko Harvey, “For M” | Niall Horan, “You Could Start A Cult” | @mjalti | Catullus, 48 | Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story | @kanyasstuff | @chloeinletters | Plutarch, Moralia | @/vwictims on X
#tia williams#seven days in june#mikko harvey#for m#niall horan#the show#catullus#queen charlotte#bridgerton#plutarch#quotes#web weave#web weaving#lovecore#words#💌#mine#valentines day#love#poetry#prose#literature#book quotes#on love#love poems#lyrics#valentines
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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
#Plutarch#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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Appetite for Trouble
AN: day 12 is finally here!!! My favorite fic I’ve written so far, which is blatantly obvious by the fact it clocks in over 9k. The mischief prompt was literally perfect for my boy Asterios, I couldn’t pass it up! This is one hefty boi, so grab some snacks & settle on in!
Now with a sequel here!
Being a demigod, things had always been...different for Asterios. Growing up, trouble nipped at his heels wherever he went. People treated him harshly or with a short temper, while his own emotions remained unchecked. A peaceful dinner would soon become a screaming match once he sat at the table.
As he got older, Asterios learned of his heritage and the unwanted powers that came with it. He had always felt stronger when people fought in his presence, and despite how great it felt, he utterly despised it. It did nothing but tie him to his birth mother, and offer a legitimate reason for others to keep their distance. As he grew from a boy to a man, he managed to bend his powers to his benefit. A playful argument, some mischievous roughhousing, nothing too serious, but with just enough discourse to provide a decent energy surge. It wasn't easy, but he managed shift the crew's frustrated tension into a more lighthearted chaos on more than one occasion.
It all started one long, boring afternoon.
Most of them were gathered on the deck, lounging about while others idly performed their tasks. Polites was rambling about something that Asterios couldn't hear from across the deck.
Instead, he planted the seed of mischief inside Elpenor's mind: it would be really fun to tickle Polites right now. He won't even see it coming.
Asterios noticed when the idea took root in his mind. The way he sat up straight, eyes darting to look Polites up and down, as if sizing him up.
Polites felt the gaze boring into him from behind and turned around, cocking his head. "Hey, what's with the look?" he asked innocently.
"Nothin' I'm just bored. So anyway, on a scale of one to ten, how ticklish do you think you are?" Elpenor asked out of the blue. Polites froze, sputtering out an answer.
"Wha- I- uh- I can't say,"Polites said scooting away from his friend, a blush already spreading across his cheeks.
"Guess we should find out then."
"No, we shouldn't!"
"Why, you afraid you're gonna be a ten?"
"Yes- I MEAN NO! Elpenor, wait!"
But there was no time for waiting. He dug his fingers into his sides, causing Polites to flinch away with a giggly squeal. He fell off the barrel he'd been sitting on, and Elpenor pounced.
"Yep, I think you're just a lil nervous to find out how ticklish you really are, but that's okay! You're in good hands!"
"I'm ihihin fucking evil hands, lehehet mehe goooo!"
Elpenor faked a gasp at the obscenity. "Language! Where did you learn to talk like that?"
"From me," Odysseus said, walking up from behind. Everyone froze; a flock of startled sheep. The captain had a relaxed stride and a smirk on his face, so the tension eased slightly.
Asterios saw a golden opportunity and took it.
I should join him. It's been ages since I've made Polites scream for mercy.
Odysseus reeled back at the thought, blinking in surprise as he tried to casually look around. Was it just him, or did the voice sound like...
Asterios stood his ground when the Captain looked his way, squinting. Everyone around him was tuned in, looking away would be more suspicious, would it not? By the Gods, he hoped he was playing his cards right.
Odysseus looked away with a smirk. "So, you want a hand?"
"Odysseus, come on!" Polites whined at the betrayal.
"I'd love one!" Elpenor chirped happily, wrestling their victim's arms above his head as Odysseus sat across his waist.
~~~
Asterios waited a few days before he struck again.
Another bout of boredom stretched across the ship, ensnaring the entirety of the crew in its jaws. That just couldn't stand.
Asterios spotted Leander and Plutarch engaged in a sparring match, grappling each other in the middle of the deck. There was a rope loosely marking the boundaries of their wrestling ring.
Leander circled him like a shark, sporting a sly grin. Plutarch smiled back briefly before falling into a deep concentration.
Suddenly, he lunged forth, slamming into the larger man with all his weight. Leander slid back a few feet as he fought to regain control. He had height on him, but Plutarch had made it clear that they were pretty evenly matched in strength.
He dodged to the side, panting for breath before he was wrestled to the ground, pinned with his face against the wood, one arm behind him.
"Do you yield?" he asked playfully, stretching his arm back. Leander grimaced, but shook his head.
"Never!"
They made this almost too easy.
I bet if I tickle him, he'll change his mind.
Plutarch almost gasped at the intrusive thought, a pale blush dusting his cheeks. Until now, he'd made it a point to avoid their mischievous antics, but it would seem they've started to rub off on him. His hand hovered above the back of his ribs, hesitant.
C'mon, he can't even fight back. What's the worst that'll happen? So against his better judgment, Plutarch poked a curious finger between his ribs.
Leander jumped so hard, he nearly knocked him off his perch. Plutarch arched a brow and repeated the motion. He was rewarded with a rumbly chuckle and flinch to the side.
He tried to stand up, but Plutarch panicked and shoved his hands under his arms, scribbling haphazardly, but hey, that seemed to be working just fine. Leander flopped onto the deck, hiding his face in the crook of his arm while deep belly laughs escaped him.
Asterios couldn't help but smirk as he watched the pair tussle on the ground. Good, they need this. A little bit of mischief never killed anyone.
He winced as a shrill squeal filled the air, looking over to see that Plutarch had managed to pin his arms above his head, raking blunt nails over his exposed hollows. Asterios let a sly chuckle slip out, shaking his head fondly as he stood and vanished into the crowd. As far as he was concerned, his work here was done.
~~~
Asterios knew he had to wait to strike again, less anyone catch on. It was a close call the first time with Odysseus, but he supposed he didn't know. If he did, he was sure he'd have been keelhauled. It was just a coincidence. One that had him paranoid, and he mentally marked Odysseus off the list as a future pawn in this little game of his.
Over a week had passed by, the crew growing restless once more, and he was not immune to the monotony of sea life.
He was walking down the hall when he paused, noticing Perimedes walk into one of the side rooms for a physical checkup. Oh this was too good to resist.
As soon as the door shut, he turned down the hall and stood outside the door, listening. He crouched down, watching through the keyhole for any sort of cue to work off of. Sage, one of their resident medics, had Perimedes laid on his back on a wooden exam table. Sage felt around his neck and shoulders, and even from his limited vantage point, he could see the way Perimedes tensed at the touch.
Is he ticklish? Asterios planted the idea in his mind like a sprouting seed. Sage blinked in surprise and looked his patient up and down. He shook his head, continuing the physical. He moved his hands down to his stomach and gently kneaded towards the center of his belly outwards, right above the hip bones.
Perimedes grunted and twitched away, shooting a glare at the medic. "Watch it."
"Sorry, didn't know you were tickli-"
"I'm not," he cut him off defensively. Sage paused and tilted his head curiously.
He's too cocky for his own good.
"I'm sorry, of course not. How silly of me," he apologized curtly before resuming the probing touch, this time intentionally trying to tickle.
"Hehey w-whahat do you thihink you're doing?"
"I'm just proceeding with the exam. I thought you said you weren't ticklish?"
Asterios stood up with a proud smirk, dusting off his hands.
"I'm not!"
"Then why're you laughing so much? You coming down with a case of the giggles?"
"Thehehe what?"
"Oh dear, I'm afraid you are. And there's only one treatment."
"No- no Sage, gehet awahay from me!"
Asterios turned back down the main hall, heading towards the upper deck as the sound of panicked laughter grew louder even as he walked away.
~~~
It was… nice seeing the others smile and laugh, knowing he had a hand in it. It’s not that he didn’t want to personally put his friends in their place, he just… didn’t know how. His tough, grim persona did well at hiding the fact that he was nothing more than some shy, awkward, guy. But it also helped him go unnoticed.
He leaned against the wall, watching Elpenor and Aridolis from afar. He wasn’t sure what they were talking about, so he tried to go about his plan in a subtle way.
Whatever Aridolis had said apparently sent him on a tangent. Asterios smirked at his chance.
I bet I know what’ll make him shut up.
Elpenor didn’t notice the smirk that spread across Ari’s face until it was too late.
“Nohoho wahahait! W-what dihid I ever dohoho to you?”
~~~
Asterios didn't notice at first, but he always felt great after these random bouts of mischief. He was bolder, stronger, lighter on his feet. He began doing hard, intense labor that was usually reserved for people like Eurylochus or Leander. He even beat both of them in an arm wrestling match, back to back.
Needless to say, the outwardly cocky demeanor from the usually quiet and stoic man was a noticeable enough change for his crew mates to comment on.
"So glad to see you finally come out of your shell! I knew you just needed some time," Polites chirped, winking at him as he walked up beside him and bumped their shoulders together. Asterios ducked his head and smiled, something dangerous lurking beneath it.
"You know what? I think I really am," he purred, almost on the verge of a growl. Polites eyed him warily, scooting away ever so slight. Because even the friendliest amongst them knew exactly what he was.
"Well, I'm glad to hear it! We're all brothers now, it's about damn time we started acting like it," he said, a hint of amusement lacing his voice. Asterios crossed his arms, leaning back against the railing as he looked at Polites with a softer grin.
"Seems like some of them already are."
Polites chuckled and shook his head. "They're all a piece of work, I tell you. But... it's nice to hear laughter on the ship again. Good to know they can still have fun."
Asterios felt his smile falter at the indirect compliment, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks.
"So how 'bout you?"
Asterios practically jumped out of his skin. "Huh?"
"I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, all this time."
He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "Oh come on, that's not true! I laugh, I just don't laugh often," he clarified. "I'm not a giggly little bitch like some people," he added, looking him up and down. Polites scoffed loudly, jaw hitting the floor.
"Wha- are you talking about me?"
"And a few others," he couldn't hold back a sly chuckle. "There. See? I can laugh."
"Yeah, at my expense," Polites accused playfully. Asterios merely shrugged smugly.
"Yeah, and?"
Polites stared at him long and hard, fingers twitching by his sides before he shook his head.
"No, not today. I'll get you when you least expect it," Polites ultimately decided and started walking away.
The smirk fell from his lips, shoulders dropping as the color drained from his face.
"Wait- what do you mean? Polites, what do you mean?" he called out after him. He turned around to face Asterios, walking backwards and wiggling his fingers. Since when did Polites of all people get scary? Then he thought for a moment about who he grew up with and smacked himself in the head. Of course.
Speak of the devil, Polites bumped into him, and he smiled, slinging an arm around his shoulder. Asterios felt a chill run up his spine. He could see Polites say something that made Odysseus chuckle and glance his way.
He was fucked. Scratch that, he was beyond fucked. Asterios turned bright red and abruptly made his way below deck, shoulder checking Leander on his way.
~~~
Needless to say, he was nervous, but the more time passed, the more he relaxed. Polites was easy going, he let him off with a warning this time; and he knew that his little guard dog Ody wouldn't attack without orders. He heaved a sigh of relief: he was safe.
For now.
He laid low for well over a month, but of course the mischief didn't stop. Arguments needed settling, pranks were pulled and required revenge, people were plain old bored.
Julien was lounging on the stairs to the upper deck, legs stretched out before him. His head was tilted back and eyes closed, seemingly enjoying the warm sunshine. Elpenor and Perimedes sat on either side of him, staggered on the lower steps.
He was one of the few other demigods aboard the ship, so Asterios would say they got along just fine. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one with divinity in their blood, making itself known through different ways. They both had wings; Asterios with his neatly tucked behind his ears, and Julian with a pair at his ankles. The crew was more than curious about the extra appendages, which was why Asterios almost always kept his hidden. Unfortunately for Julien, they remained in plain view. And right now, were well within reach.
"So can you fly with them?" Elpenor asked, eyeing them as his hand inched closer on the step. Perimedes smirked, carefully watching his movements and mirroring them.
"Not really, but I can hover and glide when I really need to," he answered.
"Oh, so they're just for show?"
Julien let out a slightly annoyed huff. "Sure, I guess."
"So why are they red like that?" Perimedes asked, causing him to tense up immediately upon hearing the question.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
Elpenor shot his friend a look, stomping on his foot to signal that was the wrong thing to say. Perimedes hissed in pain and shot him a look back.
"Well I think it looks great on you," Elpenor chirped, running his fingers through the downy feathers. Julien gasped and shot upright, tucking his knees to his chest while his wings pressed themselves flush against his skin for protection.
"Oh? What's this?"
Asterios never stuck around for long, regardless if he was the cause or not. As soon as laughter filled the air, he was looking for a way out. Don't get him wrong, he loved feeding off the unhinged chaos, but something about it all brought on a hot burning embarrassment and something else he couldn't quite describe.
Fear? Hell no, no way in all of Tartarus was he afraid of fucking child's play such as tickling. Maybe it was more of a fear of rejection? That he wasn't good enough to join their games, so he excludes himself before anyone else could.
Sound logic, but not quite.
Or perhaps it was uncertainty. He had no idea if he was ticklish or not, and he wasn't too keen on finding out. Yes, the others looked like they were having fun, but he had to remind himself that it's all forced and most saw it as a form of punishment and torture. So he wasn't about to let anyone turn him into a giggly little bitch, per his own words.
He was frozen where he sat, his heart racing as he watched the pair team up against the other demigod. His wings began to tingle and he bit back a whine, shaking his head and pressing them deeper into the mass of curls. He could only imagine how awful that felt, and he did feel somewhat sorry for him. Not sorry enough to go help, mind you, but sorry nonetheless.
Julien kicked his legs out, barking out a laugh when Elpenor scribbled the base of the wing as he tried to climb backwards up the stairs. Asterios felt a shiver run down his spine and a blush spread across his cheeks. Perimedes grabbed his other leg in a headlock and he stood up abruptly, stretching to try and come off as casual before heading to the opposite side of the deck.
"Asterios! Come to help?" Elpenor called out enticingly, countered by the frantic screech of protest from Julien, "No don't!"
Asterios stood still when called, sparing a glance at the trio and wishing he hadn't, embarrassment swirling in his gut. He had to resist the urge to hide behind his wings, knowing he'd never live it down. He played it as cool as he possibly could, snorting in amusement.
"You fuckin' wish." He quickly went on his way, eager to get away from the scene.
"Wait! Hehehelp mehehe!"
Asterios knew better than to look back. If he saw the desperate face that matched the voice, he'd cave and go back to save him. The martyr, who would be thrown to the wolves in his place. No fucking thank you.
"Sorry, but someone's gotta get the work done around here. You have fun though! Maybe try fighting back or something," he called, without so much as a second glance.
Odysseus watched the exchange from where he stood at the wheel, humming thoughtfully. He made note of it for later, the pieces finally falling into place.
~~~
If only he'd known Odysseus was onto him. If only he knew, he would've never gone after him. He should've known better after that first time, when Odysseus shut him down with a piercing glare that bore into his soul. The captain was smart, much smarter than Asterios ever was, and more calculating.
It was a mistake to assume he'd be just as clueless as the rest of them.
It might've also been a mistake to use Eurylochus as a pawn, but he was curious! He just wanted to see if the first mate had a playful bone in his body, to see that stoic demeanor crack when Odysseus inevitably turned the tables.
He was standing underneath the main sail, struggling to reach a dangling rope. Eurylochus watched on with a poorly concealed smirk.
"Need a hand, Captain?"
"No thanks, I'm good," he dismissed the offer, still straining to grab the frayed ends. Eurylochus let out a low chuckle, shaking his head fondly.
"Whatever you say."
Asterios saw the way he smirked, watching the captain from the corner of his eye. It was too tempting not to pass up.
It would be so easy to tickle him right now, he left himself wide open.
He watched the way Eurylochus stiffened, seemingly studying Odysseus and weighing his options.
What the hell, he could use a good laugh.
Making sure he was still distracted, Eurylochus reached up and scribbled against his stretched ribs. He slammed his arms down with a borderline shriek, whipping around to glare at Eurylochus. There was a fire in his eyes and a danger to his smile. Eurylochus balked, unsure why he thought that was a good idea. He knew he wouldn't get away with a stunt like that, and he'd never do that in front of the crew because Odysseus would fucking kill him.
"Did you really just do that?" he asked, a smirk already playing at his lips.
"I'm sorry Sir, I-I don't know what came over me-"
"I do," Odysseus bragged.
Eurylochus arched a brow, standing a little straighter in confusion. "What?"
Suddenly, Odysseus grabbed him by the forearm and tugged him close enough to whisper in his ear, "I'll tell you later. Right now, just play along and laugh. Easy enough?"
"E-excuse me?"
"Sorry, but I have to make an example out of you." In one swift motion, he yanked his arm above his head, spinning them around to pin him against the mast. He adjusted his grip to the other hand before drilling his thumbs in the center of his hollows. Eurylochus threw his head back, lost to bouts of deep, rumbling laughter.
So obviously, he was more than reluctant when the captain called him into his quarters.
Eurylochus knocked on the door hesitantly before testing the knob. It was unlocked, and he stepped inside.
"Captain?"
"Oh good, you're here. Sit down," he gestured to an empty chair as he finished writing something at his desk.
Eurylochus did as he was told. "So, what did you want to speak about? I hope this wasn't a trap," he teased lightly. Odysseus chuckled, shaking his head.
"I can see why you'd think that. But no, unlike some people on this ship, I'm man enough to face a challenge head on."
Eurylochus reeled back, blinking in shock. "Sir?"
"The men have been more rowdy than usual, wouldn't you agree?" Odysseus continued as though he hadn't spoken. Eurylochus inhaled sharply through his nose and exhaled a deep, heavy sigh.
"That's one word for it," he mused.
"And why do you think that is?" Odysseus asked as he crossed his arms over his chest, not quite sitting on his desk, but leaning heavily.
"We've been away from home for years, and we haven't docked in months. Men grow bored," he reasoned. The captain shook his head.
"Men, or man?"
Eurylochus closed his eyes, letting out a tired, "What?"
"I think someone's been pulling a few strings..." This seemed to grab his first mate's attention.
"What?" he repeated, more serious and less exasperated this time. "What are you getting at?" he asked cautiously.
"Just think about it. We have demigods amongst our ranks; we don't even know everything they're capable of."
"You don't think maybe they're just having fun? We're in a war, Odysseus, let them laugh while they can."
"And were you "just having fun" when you pulled your little stunt?" he questioned smugly, cocking his head expectantly as Eurylochus snapped his mouth shut. "Or did an enticing little voice in your head make the suggestion?"
He gasped, staring at Odysseus in shock. "How did you-"
"I'm an observant guy," he said, cutting him off.
"So... who do you think is responsible?"
"Asterios, there's no doubt in my mind."
"The quiet one?" Eurylochus arched a brow. "Why?"
"He's the son of Eris."
"And that makes him guilty?"
Odysseus huffed and rolled his eyes. "No, everything else does. That just explains how he's able to do it."
Eurylochus leaned back in the chair, "Everything else?"
"You ever notice how he never sticks around to watch? But he's got this sly, smug look the whole time. And after a particularly hectic day, he gets stronger. Remember when he beat you at arm wrestling?"
"Don't remind me."
"I think he gets stronger afterwards. It would explain why he's suddenly so helpful around the ship."
"You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"
"I know I'm right about this."
"You better be, because you'll make an ass out of yourself if you're wrong."
"When have I ever been wrong?" Eurylochus opened his mouth to speak, but Odysseus cut him off, "Don't answer that."
The first mate mulled it over in his mind. ""Why are you so sure that anyone is behind this?"
"Because I know you well enough to know you'd never try and get me in front of the whole crew. You're smarter than that."
"Thank you?"
"But it felt irresistible, didn't it? The need to cause chaos? I felt it too, when I got Polites a while back."
"Which time?" he teased. Odysseus narrowed his eyes.
"With Elpenor."
"Yeah, which time?" he repeated tauntingly. Odysseys laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully.
"Oh shut up! Maybe it's not always his fault, but it's more often than you'd think."
Eurylochus sighed. "So? What are you gonna do about it?" A sinister grin slowly spread across the captain's face.
"Alright, so here's what I'm thinking..."
~~~
It was a day like any other, and Asterios had no reason to feel on edge. He sat with Leander and Plutarch, idly carving hunks of wood and brushing the shavings underneath the railing when the pile grew too high.
He was trying to carve a figurine of Cetus. Growing up, he had always been enamored with the sea monster constellation, and when his true parentage came to light, it made sense. Eris explained to him that the creatures in the sky were her pets, and Cetus had always been one of her favorites. She even said that when she would check in on him, Cetus would be watching from over her shoulder.
A fairytale to tell her child. If she wanted to fill his head with stories, she should've done so a long time ago. Yet, he found comfort in the presumed lie, and he didn't know what else to carve. Maybe if they really did watch him, this would make them happy.
Was he fucking carving this to impress his mother? He shook the thought out of his head.
He didn't pay much attention when the captain walked up from below deck. That is, until he called his name.
"Asterios, a word?"
He didn't sound... angry, but there was a dangerous edge hiding beneath his words. Asterios held his breath, not daring to move an inch.
"Yes?"
"Relax, I just want to talk."
That was never a good sign, and Leander and Plutarch were already exchanging curious glances. Fuck.
"Come, walk with me," Odysseus invited with a deceptively warm smile. Asterios didn't answer for a long moment before he caved.
"Yes Sir. No one touch my fucking carving," he threatened as he stood, brushing himself off. He followed the captain, trying to ignore the looks he received. He still saw the way Elpenor mouthed the words "you're in trouble," and he looked away, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.
Gods, did he have to take him all the way to the front of the ship? Yes they were "alone," but everyone could see him inevitably get chewed out and overhear every word.
"May I ask what this is about? Have I done anything wrong, Sir?"
"Oh I think you know exactly what this is about."
Shit. Asterios began to panic, but outwardly played dump.
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
This felt like a game, and he didn't like his odds of winning.
"Tell you what?" he asked hesitantly.
"I'm mostly just curious in how you did it. I can get the why, I just can't understand the how."
Asterios furrowed his brows, tilting his head in confusion. "Captain? Are you feeling okay?" He asked, playing up his concern for his wellbeing. Odysseus glared at him as he spoke.
"I'm fine-"
"Okay, because for a minute there, you were talking like you drank sea water or something- ow!" Asterios rubbed the back of his head where Odysseus smacked him.
"Now, you ready to listen?" he asked, waiting for him to nod. "Good. Because I'm not mad, I just want you to own up to it, okay?"
Asterios's heart pounded in his chest, but he remained still. "There's nothing to own up to," he lied. Odysseus sighed, shaking his head.
"You sure you don't just wanna do things the easy way? I'm serious about not being mad, I honestly thought it was kinda funny."
Asterios whipped his head over to look at him.
"Thought what was funny?" Asterios held firm to the act. He already came this far, backing down now would be a death sentence.
"Okay, don't say I didn't warn you." Odysseus cupped his hands around his mouth, taking a deep breath to shout across the deck.
"Wait!" Asterios cried, unsure of what he was about to say and took his last chance to explain. Odysseus lowered his arms with a proud grin. "Just- let me explain."
"Oh, please do."
Asterios looked around for any chance at escape, but both Eurylochus and Polites stood nearby on either side of the railing, clearly ready to grab him if he tried to run. Polites noticed him staring and he flashed a bright smile, waving at him with wiggling fingers. Asterios glared at him, cheeks dusted pink and jaw clenched tightly.
He flinched when Odysseus snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "Hey, your captain's speaking to you."
"Yes Sir?"
"I said I'm waiting."
Oh, what an asshole.
Asterios glared at him as he spoke, "Well, as you know, I'm a son of Eris-"
"Mhm," Odysseus hummed and nodded along, leaning against the railing casually. Asterios fought back a sneer.
"Since I was a child, I noticed people tend to fight in my presence. I've learned to control it somewhat, so that the crew wouldn't be at each other's throats," he explained, not quite looking Odysseus in the eye.
"Oh, so you're doing this for our benefit." Something about his tone set Asterios off, and he took a step back.
Odysseus was having fun toying with him. The look on his face alone was priceless; eyes wide and mouth hung open in shock, and he could see the feathers of his wings bristling beneath his hair.
"Yes?"
Odysseus grinned so wide, it nearly split his face in two. "In that case, let's go tell the crew what you so kindly did for them."
"What- no! You can't! Just fuckin' wait!"
Asterios physically felt the color drain from his face, the panic beginning to set in. Fuck, why was he telling everyone? Why couldn't he just chew him out in private, why did it have to be this public hanging of character? He would've preferred if Odysseys just drug him below deck and beat the shit out of him for daring to step out of line. That way, he could at least lick his wounds in private. Was he going to have to fight the captain in front of everyone? His mind was a whirlwind, and he couldn't keep up.
His frantic protests were ignored as the captain called his crew, "Hey everyone, Asterios has something he'd like to say."
"Shut up, no I don't!" Asterios hissed.
"That's no way to speak to the captain," Eurylochus warned, but he didn't have his usual stone cold expression, and his tone was lighthearted, almost teasing. Asterios didn't know if that made it worse or not.
Oh Gods, everyone was looking at him now, and his only chance at escape would be to throw himself overboard. He bit his tongue and stood there, completely still. Incomprehensible whispers murmured through the crowd as he just stood there, balking like a dead fish. If Odysseus wanted to humiliate him, he'd done it. But he knew this was nothing compared to whatever was to come.
"Asterios? You okay?" Leander asked, stepping closer to check on his friend. Odysseus held up a hand to stop him from getting any closer.
"Oh he's fine, just a bit shy. Aren't you bud?" he asked, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Asterios visibly stiffened and flinched away.
"Don't make me do this," he whispered, barely audible. Odysseus chuckled lowly directly in his ear, "Too late to back out now."
"Well can he get on with it? I got shit to do," Perimedes spoke up from the crowd.
"Oh I think you'll wanna hear this. But seeing as our friend is a little tongue tied, I guess I'll help explain."
Asterios felt like he was going to die. He certainly wanted to. Maybe if he wished hard enough, he could just fade from existence. His lips were pressed in a thin line and wide eyes stared at the floorboards on the deck to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. His cheeks were steadily growing a bright pink, and his breath came slow and deep as he fought to remain calm.
Odysseus must've sensed his growing panic and was quick to try and put him at ease. A moot effort, seeing as he got him so worked up.
He squeezed his shoulder and shook him gently to loosen him up, a hearty chuckle slipping out. "Relax, will you?" he teased, enjoying stretching this out. "You're not in trouble."
"It sure seems like I am, Sir."
"What? Noooo, that wasn't my intention at all!" he feigned innocence, smirking when Asterios rolled his eyes.
"Trouble? What did he do now?" Elpenor snorted in amusement.
"What didn't he do?" he mused aloud, launching into his speech. "I'm sure you've all noticed a lot more pranks, tickle fights, and general mischief. Just this time last week, an actual food fight broke out in the mess hall. And you all have this little puppet master to thank for it," he proudly exclaimed, reaching up to ruffle his hair teasingly.
Asterios could only stand there and watch it happen. His face was burning, and he's positive he's never felt more mortified. He could hear confused voices murmur among the crowd, but his ears were ringing, and he couldn't fucking move, could barely breathe. It was like he wasn't even in control of his body.
He caught a sympathetic look from Leander, silently mouthing the words, "help me," but Leander only gave a subtle shake of the head from where he stood. He caught a glimpse of Perimedes and Elpenor peaking out from behind Polites, and all three of them looked ready to pounce.
"So wasn't there something you wanted to say to everyone?" Odysseus prompted, snapping him out of his daze.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes darting up to look at the crowd before adverting his gaze.
"No, that's not it!"
Asterios furrowed his brows, "What? I-I thought-"
"You were going to say you're welcome," he corrected ever so helpfully.
Asterios could only stand there as Odysseus shook him by the shoulders once more, trying to get him to just relax, as if he wasn’t actively digging his grave. He remained tense, and the movement was awkward and jerky. He continued to look down at his feet, scared of what he'd see if he looked out at the small crowd gathered on the deck. Harsh glares with hateful sneers, knowing looks accompanied by a teasing smirk; he didn't know which would be worse.
He chanced a glance up and realized that the second option was much worse.
"So why don't you tell him how thankful you all are."
He tried to protest, to question what he meant, but suddenly the arm around his shoulders wrapped around his throat like a vice and slammed him backwards, onto the deck. He fought against him with everything he had.
"Fuckin'- let me go! I said I'm sorry!" he yelled frantically, flailing about to keep his limbs free. His panic grew when he saw Polites skip over and pin down his legs. Okay, maybe he didn't actually skip, but he might as well have, the smug bastard.
"Relax will you? We're just gonna give you a taste of your own medicine. You can handle a little tickling, can't you?"
"Nah, he looks like a screamer," Elpenor teased, walking up with Perimedes. Asterios blushed an ungodly shade of red because Elpenor of all people did not just fucking say that about him.
"Said the screamer!" he lamely shot back, wiggling his arms free from under the captain's knees where he was pinning him before continuing to fight for his freedom.
"Think I'll like you way better when you can't talk. Eurylochus? Mind making yourself useful and get his arms?" Perimedes asked, making a show of cracking his knuckles. He swore as Eurylochus wrestled his arms above his head, glaring daggers at the first mate.
He jumped when he felt someone sit down beside him, sighing in relief when it was only Leander.
"Leander, thank the Gods! You gotta help me, they're gonna kill me!" The smirk he got in return made his heart sink.
"On the contrary, I think a little laughter and fun will do you some good!"
"You asshole, you think this is fun?" he growled. He got a much more enthusiastic agreement than he expected, prompting his blush to spread. He closed his eyes, muttering, "Zeus, just kill me now."
"Oh don't be so dramatic," Odysseus rolled his eyes and poked his belly, earning a harsh twitch and a yelp. "Just tell us where you're ticklish, and this can all be over a lot sooner."
Asterios felt panic course through him, and he bristled. "I don't know!" he rushed out before he could think better of it.
Odysseus studied him with an amused look before the smile dropped, ever so slightly. "Holy shit, you're serious aren't you?"
Asterios stared at him wordlessly, mouth gaping open though no sound escaped.
"Aaaw, now we just have to tickle him!"
"Shut the FUCK up Polites, I swear I'll- mph!" Asterios clamped his mouth shut in the middle of his sentence as Polites began softly tracing his arches.
"I'm sorry, you were saying?" he asked innocently, scratching blunt nails against delicate skin. He squeaked and tried to jerk his feet away,
But they remained trapped. His chest shook as he fought to contain his mirth.
A shy giggle slipped out when Leander began poking between his ribs. He jerked away with each touch, squealing when he suddenly pressed into an awaiting hand in his other side. He looked over to see Plutarch smirking down at him.
"You're both trahahaitors! Hehehey wahait!" he cried out when they each attacked his ribs with a flurry of pokes. A sudden electric sensation at his knees had him kicking the deck and snorting. Whoever the hell had gotten ahold of his knees was a fucking deadman-
"Ha! I knew you'd snort if I did that!" Perimedes bragged, and of course it just had to be him. He swears he's gonna rip out his fucking tongue-
"I'm sorry, you're gonna what?" he growled, resting his hands atop his knees threateningly, making him flinch.
Asterios froze, closing his eyes because he couldn't bring himself to look at any of these assholes. "Please tell me I at least said that out loud?" The rest of the crew watched on in confusion, glancing between the two.
Perimedes shook his head, sporting a downright sinister grin. "No, I'm afraid you didn't." And then he started squeezing his knees relentlessly, sending him into a fit of snorting cackles and shrieks. He continued to berate him, "So that's how you fuckin' do it? Get inside our heads with our own thoughts? Wonder what else we'll hear when we really get you going."
Asterios screamed when he scratched the backs of his knees, nearly kicking Polites off from where he sat on his ankles.
"Wait, let me ask something," he could hear Elpenor's voice, too close for comfort, and opened his eyes to see him sitting beside Eurylochus with a smile of his own. The horrible feeling at his knees stopped and he caught his breath in between shaky residual giggles.
"So was the wet blanket prank even my idea?" Elpenor asked, leaning in a little closer. A sly, proud smirk tugged at his lips as he remembered that one. Elpenor had gathered everyone's bedding in a barrel filled with sea water and snuck the wet sheets back into everyone's rooms, making their bed with unpleasantly damp covers.
His prolonged silence and sheepish grin told him everything he needed to know.
"I was proud of that one, you bastard!" he growled, digging into his exposed pits without mercy. He barked out a loud, wheezing laugh and felt his face burn hot with embarrassment at the sound. He tugged on his arms, but he was thoroughly trapped. He wanted to die, he sure felt like he was, and he needed to escape- or hide at the very least. It was pure reflex, to snap his wings tight over his face to conceal his blushing cheeks and tearful eyes.
As he expected, there was an uproar of teasing and laughter from his tormentors and their audience.
"Aaaaww, that was so cute!"
"He can't run, but I guess he can hide!"
"What's the matter? Is someone a little embarrassed?"
Oh, so they wanted to just straight up humiliate him to death. Decimate the carefully crafted persona he'd built for himself, and leave what was left of his dignity and sanity in shreds across the deck. He'd never be able to show his face again! He certainly wouldn't be leaving his room anytime soon, and if they thought he was gonna be nice to them after this-
Elpenor grabbed one wing and gently pried it back, chuckling at the downright terrified, flustered look on his face. "Why d'you look so scared? Just relaaaax, we're all having fun," he cooed tauntingly.
Asterios scoffed, "No, you're having fun!" He'd fucking kill him for even insinuating-
"I don't know, you sound pretty happy to me," Leander spoke up with that dopey ass grin he always wore. Okay, so he'd kill both of them.
"Thanks, didn't fuckin' ahahask," he growled, breaking off in breathless snickers as Leander pinched each rib.
"That wasn't very nice," he teased, laughing along with his friend's torment, wiggling a finger between the bone. Asterios snorted and jerked away, right into Plutarch's waiting hands on his other side. And the dance repeated.
Polites noticed Aridolis lingering closer ever so slowly and smiled, waving him over. “Wanna give me a hand?” he offered, focusing all of his efforts on one foot to make room for him.
Ari immediately perked up at the offer, sitting on the ground facing him. All the while, Asterios continued to thrash and yell out threats.
“NO! Ari Ihihi swear toho thehehe Gods, i-if you lahahay aha hand on mehehe I’ll kihihill you ihin your sleep!” he growled through shrill giggles. He heard a few of them chuckling at him, and he wanted to die. If he were being honest, Tartarus would be better than this.
“Mmm, I don’t think so,” Ari hummed as he joined the fray, raking sharp claws up and down his sole. Asterios was once again thrown into hysterics.
Elpenor still hadn't let go of his wing, and it twitched, trying to tuck itself against his head for safety. The movement didn't go unnoticed, and he smirked as he rubbed the soft feathers between his fingers. Asterios let out a shrill shriek, and the wing immediately snapped back, nestling under the hair behind his ear. He couldn't help but giggle at him.
"Aw, are you winking at me?" Elpenor asked and shot him a wink in return. Asterios turned a darker shade of pink and let out an annoyed huff, tucking the other wing away angrily. "Oh come on, you're no fun," he teased, grabbing one wing and prying it open.
Asterios shook his head, giggly pleas falling from his lips. "Dohohon't you dare! Elpenor, please!" He tried to scrunch his neck and lean away, flap his wings, anything to get away.
"Oh these are a really bad spot, aren't they?" he taunted, wiggling his fingers closer. Asterios flinched away with a nervous giggle.
"They must be, if they got him acting like that," Odysseus added.
"I'm sure they are. Remember how bad Julien screamed? Let's make this asshole scream even louder," Perimedes cracked his knuckles as he spoke, and Asterios slammed his head against the deck in defeat.
"Can you at least have the decency to kill me in silence?" he growled, hiding half his face with his free wing, unable to look at them for another second.
"How can you still be so damn grumpy?" Polites asked, scribbling beneath his toes and earning a deafening shriek. Amputation sounded pretty fuckin' good right about now.
Polites gasped, letting out a laugh of his own. "Oh you are SO dramatic! You should hear him Ody, he's worse than you!"
"Oh I heard it that time," Odysseus taunted with a playful edge to his voice. He leaned in closer to whisper, "What's the matter? Thoughts going haywire? Can't keep a grip on your powers? That's too bad."
Asterios could only squeal and giggle hysterically as Elpenor pinched and rubbed the wing between his fingers. He snorted and arched his back when he scratched at the base, feathers ruffled and twitching with every touch.
"SOHOHOMEONE FUCKING HEHEHELP!" he demanded through a screaming laugh. Julien stepped forward with an amused grin, squatting down to better look Asterios in the eye.
"Sorry, but what makes you think you deserve it? I mean, maybe if you would've helped me back when I needed it..."
The irony was not lost on him. This was some kind of cruel, poetic justice for not helping his fellow demigod from a fate clearly worse than death. He should've saved him, if only to have someone on his side when the time came. But he was so arrogant, so sure that it could never happen to him...
"Shihit, I'm sohohorry, ohokahay? I-I should've hehelped when I hahahad thehe chance!" he pleaded.
"Yeah, you should've. But you have fun though! Maybe try fighting back or something," Julien repeated his words to him, rubbing salt in the wound. But in this case, it felt more like sugar; sickeningly sweet and sticking to his skin in an unbearable manner. The tickling also left him more dazed and jittery than any sugar rush ever could.
Asterios shook his head, begging him not to do this before he grabbed his other wing. He squealed loudly when they both attacked the base of the wings with quick scratches and soft squeezes. He snorted loudly, unable to even shake his head as they held his wings in place.
Surely, anything would be better than this strange, unusual torture, this public humiliation. This downright defamation of character. Lesson learned. He'll swear off his powers if he makes it out of this alive.
Even in his frantic state, he tried to hold these thoughts close. But Odysseus had quietly been studying him, and the words found purchase in his mind. Did he really think they were doing this just to humiliate him? That they weren't his brothers, dragging him into a game he himself started? That they would only care about revenge, and not the absolutely adorable sounds he was making, or the lopsided grin on his face? He'd have to make sure to set the record straight. In private though, he knew better than to call him out... again.
Meanwhile Elpenor and Julien sent him into a fit of hysterical giggles with the attention given to his wings. He snorted in between shrill snickers, blushing profusely and shaking his head. He heard Elpenor gasp and felt a poke to his cheek.
"By the Gods, you have dimples? Why didn't you tell us? You look so cuuuuuute!"
"Whahat? Nohoho I don't!" Asterios cried out in confusion between bouts of laughter. It's a good thing he couldn't fucking think, because otherwise he'd be downright spiraling after that comment. But even in his delirious state, he knew it was nothing more than playful teasing. Elpenor doesn't actually think he's cute, he's just trying to get a rise out of him. Don't listen to him.
"Uh, yeah you do."
"Poor thing, didn't even know he had dimples," Odysseus added mockingly, also deciding to poke his cheek.
Polites twisted around and leaned back to look, "Aw, I wanna see!"
"Just shut uhuhup! P-plehehease! Hehehelp mehehe!" he desperately cried out for anyone to take pity on him. He thought maybe he had a change when he locked eyes with Sage, but the medic merely shrugged and offered a sheepish, not very sympathetic, grin.
In all the time they've been away from home, it had been a rare sight to see Asterios so much as smile. It was even more rare to hear a genuine laugh from the demigod, so they were going to take advantage of the sight while they could.
But they were rather mean in their attack, and Asterios quite literally couldn't even remember the last time he'd been tickled, so he finally bid his dignity farewell and threw in the towel.
"Ohohokay- OKAHAY! Please, you wihihin! Ihihi'm sorry! IHI'M SOHOHORRY! OHO FUHUCK YOU, STOHOHOP!" His giggly begging turned to screaming pleas for mercy when Elpenor decided to blow a raspberry at the base of his wing right as he decided to talk. Odysseus held a hand up, signaling them all to stop.
They let him go and he immediately curled into a giggly ball, tucking his arms and legs as close to him as he could. His wings were plastered to his blushing face, a bright smile just barely peaking out from under them. Residual giggles escaped as he slowly caught his breath, interrupted by the occasional hiccup.
"I ha- hic- hate all of you," he panted. Perimedes couldn't help but let out a condescending chuckle when he hiccuped.
"Now I think that was more than fair given the circumstances," Odysseus reasoned. Asterios lifted a wing to glare at him with one eye.
"That assault was a- hic- anything but fair!" Elpenor was unable to hold back his own laughter that time. Asterios silently cursed himself and tried to steady his breathing.
"Neither is using us as your little chaos puppets."
Asterios couldn't help but smirk, a sly chuckle slipping out. "Chaos puppets. I like that." The smile dropped from his face as he continued, "But uh, you guys won't have to worry about that anymore. Think I learned my lesson."
"Yeah, next time you wanna start a tickle fight, man up and do it yourself," Perimedes taunted, prompting Asterios to growl and kick at him, stronger than he really intended. But it's Perimedes, so he didn't feel too bad about it. Especially after that.
Asterios huffed, feeling his cheeks heat up ever so slightly. "I didn't want to start anything, that was the whole point of using you guys," he deadpanned, fighting the lingering smile on his face to glare at him.
"And how did that work out?" Polites asked smugly, propping his chin on Odysseus's shoulder from behind. Asterios blinked in surprise, not expecting him of all people to continue ragging on him. He grinned wider, flashing all his teeth, "Told you I'd get you."
"Yeah, and you look real proud too, smug bastard." His comment made them chuckle, and he found himself unable to stop smiling. But everyone was staring at him, smiling and whispering, and he still felt like he wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
Leander reached out to help him stand, but Asterios shoved him away. "Don't fuckin' touch me, asshole."
"Oh come on, don't be like that," he whined. Asterios sneered at him and stormed off to his room, ignoring the smirks, quiet snickers and teasing remarks tossed his way.
Yeah, he wasn't gonna leave his quarters for a week.
He shut the door, flopping face first onto the thin mattress. That had been horrible, unlike anything he'd ever been forced to endure. The worst part of it all was the embarrassment. At least the feeling stopped once they did, but the shame lingered thick and heavy. The sounds he made... No one would take him seriously ever again.
He tried to sleep, but found it surprisingly difficult. In fact, he felt wide awake, jittery, energized. It felt just like when he would stir up trouble on the ship, only... stronger.
Oh fuck them to Hades and back. He did not just get a power trip from... from that! He still wasn't completely sure how his powers worked, but he refused to believe it. He had to draw a line somewhere.
A sharp knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts.
Just great. Who the hell could that be, and didn't they know how to take a fucking hint?
"Get lost."
"It's me."
Asterios turned on his heels, eyes wide and staring at the door.
That motherfucker-
He marched to the door, swinging it open. He glared down at the captain, arms crossed, "Didn't you get enough?"
"I came to check up on you. You okay?" he asked, at least sounding genuine. Asterios snorted and leaned against the doorframe, subtly blocking him from entering.
"Yeah, no thanks to you assholes."
"You've had it coming for a long time, and you know it," he teased lightly. Asterios arched a brow, clearly unamused. Odysseus looked him up and down with a fond smirk. "So can I come in?"
Asterios barked out a loud, condescending laugh, "No."
"I brought a peace offering," he added, holding up a cup of wine. Asterios glared at him for a moment before accepting the cup, stepping aside to let him in.
Once the door was shut, the captain turned to face him, "Seriously though, I wanted to make sure you're okay. I know some of the guys can get a little carried away."
"Don't act like you're not one of them," Asterios shot back, sitting on the edge of his bed. Odysseus chuckled and shook his head.
"Yeah, I'll admit, I can go a little overboard," he chuckled, and Asterios rolled his eyes. "But you're not like, actually mad at us, are you?"
"What? No," Asterios was quick to answer. "No, it's not that." He was definitely feeling some type of way after that, but he didn't think it was anger. He was used to furry and rage, but this was something else entirely. It didn't feel great, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant either. Not that he'd tell him. It was confusing, treading these unfamiliar waters of, dare he say, friendship.
Odysseus softened, seeming to recognize his struggle. "It can be a little overwhelming, can't it?"
"That's an understatement."
"Heh, yeah. But, you'll get used to it," he said with a wink. Asterios froze.
"No I won't."
"Eh, you will. You're fair game now."
"I am not!" he half growled, half whined.
"What? I'm just being honest. Running away from tickle fights won't work forever."
Asterios stared at him, stuttering for an excuse, "Wha- I- no I don't!"
"Yeah, you just magically disappear when one breaks out, isn't that convenient?"
"If I knew it was just gonna be more of this, I would've just taken the wine and slammed the door in your face."
"So you don't deny it?" he goaded, tongue poking out between his teeth in a cheeky grin.
"It's embarrassing, what the hell do you want from me?" he snapped.
"Hey, I get it. But I'm just saying, you're not as subtle as you think. And, I don't know, maybe Perimedes had a point."
"Excuse me?" Asterios gripped the cup so hard, his knuckles turned white and he was staring at Odysseus like a trapped wolf: angry, scared and cornered.
Odysseus knew he had to tread carefully. He took a deep breath, bracing himself. "Sorry if this seems blunt, but were you just too shy to include yourself? That's why you made us do it, isn't it?" He knew from the look on the demigod's face that he was right.
"I'd shut the fuck up if I were you."
"I'm right though, aren't I?" he asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.
Asterios glared at him as he spoke, chest heaving with every nervous breath he took. He took a step forward, trying to appear threatening. "If you tell anyone-"
"I won't."
Asterios seemed to relax. "Good. Thank you." He adverted his gaze and took a sip of wine to busy himself.
"Don't mention it." He gave his shoulder a pat as he left, not commenting on the way Asterios flinched at the touch. He paused at the doorway, looking over his shoulder. "Oh, and Asterios?"
"Yeah?"
"You're our brother now. We care about you. And sometimes, that looks a lot like bullying."
Asterios broke out in a timid grin. "Yeah, I think I'm figuring that out."
Odysseus gave a nod before letting himself out.
Asterios fell back on the bed, sighing deeply. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...
He'd always been a little bit dramatic.
#tickletober#tickletober 2024#asterios#leander#odysseus#polites#eurylochus#elpenor#perimedes#aridolis#sage#plutarch#julien#epic oc#epic original character#epic#epic musical#epic fic#epic tickle fic#ticklish!asterios#ticklish!leander#ticklish!polites#ticklish!odysseus#ticklish!eurylochus#ticklish!elpenor#ticklish!perimedes
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Plutarco - Los Misterios de Isis y Osiris - Glosa - 1976
#witches#egipcios#occult#vintage#los misterios de isis y osiris#isis#osiris#glosa#editorial glosa#plutarco#plutarch#Ίσις και Όσιρις#Πλούταρχος#Ίσις#Όσιρις#de iside et osiride#1976#la cara oculta
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imagine this: you're the baddest bitch in the Roman Republic. you have spent the past few decades fighting, fucking and planning to take control of the known world. you've killed millions of people. you became the fucking pontifex maximus and used some guy's idea to reinvent the calendar. you were the first roman to have a terrible vacation experience in the UK. you won a civil war. your best friend likes to commission naked statues of you and stand in front of them calling you a king at parties.
it's the 15th March 44 b.c.e and life is good. the people love you and you just became a dictator for life. you leave your mansion, ignoring your wife's pleas for you to stay (venus above that woman is in love with you) and shake off the soothsayer who keeps following you around and talking about your doom (spurinna is obsessed with you). you swagger into work, sit down, and are immediately stabbed by a bunch of your coworkers. you stagger around for a bit feeling sorry for yourself, before collapsing down dead at the statue of the guy that you had that civil war against. what a way to go.
#can you imagine?#all that work just to be stabbed by a bunch of wannabe revolutionaries#wearing togas#only for the guy after you to just use all of that power you created anyways?#kind of embarrassing ngl#ides of march#julius caesar#caesar#et tu brutus?#ancient rome#gaius julius caesar#gaius cassius longinus#marcus junius brutus#marcus antonius#spurinna#calpurnia#plutarch#life of caesar#classics#titus livius#tacitus#pompey the great
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Classic Profiles
This is a 1676 edition of The Lives of the Noble Grecians and Romans, compared together by the 1st-century BCE Greek philosopher and historian Plutarch of Chaeronea, printed by the printer to the University of Cambridge John Hayes for the bookseller George Sawbridge. Originally written in Greek, Plutarch's Lives appeared in print for the first time as a Latin translation in 1470, and this English translation by Sir Thomas North was first published in 1579 from a French translation by James Amiot (Jacques Amyot). The text is a collection biographies of famous Greeks and Romans, including Alexander the Great, Pericles, Tiberius Gracchus, and Cicero. These figures left an indelible mark on history, their lives and achievements shaping the world as we know it.
Sir Thomas North (1535 – c. 1604) was an English translator and lawyer significantly contributing to English literature. His translation of Plutarch's Lives served as the primary source text for William Shakespeare's Roman plays, a testament to his work's enduring influence. This translation is regarded as one of the earliest examples of exceptional English prose. It was followed by another edition in 1595, which included updated biographies. A third edition of North's Plutarch was published in 1603, including even more translated Parallel Lives and a supplement of other biographies.
Jacques Amyot (1513-1593), a French scholar, writer, and translator, made substantial contributions to the field of translation and literature. His work on the translation of Plutarch's Lives (1559-1565) was instrumental in shaping the literary landscape of his time and laid the foundation for future translations and interpretations of Plutarch's work.
The first edition of this book was dedicated to Queen Elizabeth I. This dedication reflects the book's significance and provides a glimpse into the political and cultural landscape of the time, adding another layer of depth to the reader's understanding. Plutarch’s Lives helped shape the understanding of the classical Greek democracies and oligarchies of the Roman Republic and the role attributed to their founders—among them the legendary Lycurgus of Sparta and the Athenian lawgiver Solon.
-Melissa, Special Collections Classics Intern
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#classics#greek posts#greece#roman#cambridge#plutarch#ancient greece#roman republic#alexander the great#lycurgus#solon#queen elizabeth i of england#biography#sappho#constantine the great#pericles#Thomas North#James Amiot#Jacques Amyot#John Hayes#university of cambridge#Melissa
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Plutarch, Parallel Lives | William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar | Better Call Saul
#caesar pulling the gown over his face / chuck retreating in this scene and then to his *****#not including screencaps of chucks last scene in lantern bc i refuse to rewatch it. but my point is made.#chuck mcgill#howard Hamlin#bcs#choward#web weaving#better call saul#julius caesar#plutarch#comparisons#spaceman posts#q#william shakespeare
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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
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Was Alexander in love with Roxane? As far as I understand, Plutarch, Diodorus, Justin and Arrian mention that Alexander was in love with Roxane, she is the only wife he is said to have been in love with. Is there any truth to that? I have seen people question it, but they are the same people who say that Alexander loved Hephaestion (romantically) when no such thing is said in any source.
So, here’s another “ask” that I’m not sure isn’t meant as trolling. That said, as before, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. The first part at least seems genuine enough. It’s only the second part that strikes as a bit dismissive.
That said, the question suggests both limited knowledge of who is arguing what (see the suggested reading near the end), as well as a disconnect between pop history online versus actual scholarship.
For historians, this is not about “We want to make Alexander gay!” versus “We want to make Alexander straight!” This is about understanding the HISTORIOGRAPHY of the ancient sources: what to believe and what not to believe, which in turn means understanding the agenda of ancient authors. That makes this question fundamentally problematic for two reasons:
It assumes one of these things cancels out the other. It doesn’t.
It assumes the ancient sources can be trusted, and all of them say the same things about Roxane, with the same motives. They don’t.
A colleague of mine is currently working on a paper about the role of “love” in stories of Macedonian kings (not just Alexander) and specific wives (who bear the heir). I’m not going to say more about that, as I don’t want to steal Borja’s thunder, but he let me read a draft of the paper and I found it very interesting. Yet we shouldn’t take these “love stories” at face value.
The asker must remember that our surviving sources are separated from Alexander by at least 300 years, or more. They have other (now lost) sources between them and Alexander—sometimes more than one source. I’ve talked about the problems with the sources and Alexander in these two TikTok videos:
ATG and the Sources, Part 1
ATG and the Sources, Part 2
I’d suggest watching those first, then returning here to finish reading this post.
So, assuming the asker (and other readers) have now seen those two videos, we must consider the “story” that lies behind reports of Alexander marrying Roxane for love … or not.
Plutarch is one of the main surviving sources for the “He fell in love with her story,” as well as the “He never laid eyes on Statiera,” as well as the “He turned up his nose at prostitutes (both male AND female).” It’s not about the “purity” of a love match, but CONTROL of his sexual impulses. E.g., sophronsunē. Please don’t conflate Plutarch’s point with later Christian moral lessons. Plutarch was not a Christian and would have emphatically disagreed with many aspects of Christian theology.
Plutarch is telling a story in his Life of Alexander about how Alexander rose above his semi-barbaric Macedonian origins (of which Olympias and Philip are symbols) due to his GOOD GREEK PAIDEIA (education). He was properly “Greekified.” He was therefore controlled and reserved and properly virtuous when he invaded Persia. After Gaugamela, however, he began to succumb to the alure of Evil Oriental Debauchery. Sadly, the Roxane story is part of that—she’s a barbarian girl—although marrying her for love kinda redeems it. This view of Alexander is part of the Second Sophistic more broadly, so we also find it in Arrian. Curtius and Justin are both Roman imperial authors, but with a similar message. Not the Greek education part, but the “corrupted by the Oriental East” part. Diodoros (writing earliest of all) also has it, but not as emphatic.
Marrying Roxane, especially for Curtius, is not a good thing. She’s a hillbilly barbarian tart! He marries (gasp!) her because he gives in to his impulses instead of controlling them with Roman discipline. It’s almost the opposite of Plutarch. Marriage makes it worse, not better, opening the way for half-barbarian heirs (shudder).
What really spurred Alexander’s marriage to her was a political alliance with important Baktrian and Sogdian families, so he could get the hell out of there after a 2+ year war against regional insurgency (which he actually caused). You can read about the whole thing in Frank Holt’s brilliant Alexander the Great and Bactria, from Mnemosyne (1993). And last time I checked, Frank wasn’t making any arguments at all about Hephaistion.
Sulochana Asirvatham has written several articles about Plutarch and Alexander, but “Plutarch’s Alexander” might be of the most use from Brill’s Companion to the Reception of Alexander the Great. Sulo isn’t making any arguments about Hephaistion either. I don’t think he even comes up in that paper.
Sabine Müller has also written about Alexander and women, including Roxane (“Stories of the Persian Bride, Alexander and Roxane,” in The Greek Alexander Romance in Persia and the East). She, too, not only doesn’t argue that Hephaistion was his lover, but (elsewhere) argues they weren’t. We agree on a lot about Hephaistion’s career and importance, but not on that particular point.
Finally, you might especially want to read a forthcoming book chapter “Alexander’s Polygamy: Remarks on Alexander the Great’s Relationship(s) with Women,” by Monica D’Agostini in Macedon and Its Influences, coming out either late this year or early next, from Colloquia Antiqua (#44). It deals with Barsine, Roxane, and his other women/wives.
There is also here the matter of what love and marriage meant in ancient Greece and Macedonia, versus now, but that’s a whole ‘nother discussion. As noted above, for the Greeks, loving a woman did not in any way, shape, or form preclude loving a boy/man. Even at the same time!
Ergo, the idea that people who argue he didn’t love Roxane are doing so because they (wrongly) want to believe he was in love with Hephaistion is, frankly, ridiculous, not to mention downright offensive to real scholarship. As if our opinions are driven by romantic wishful thinking instead of a careful evaluation of the sources and their reliability, in terms of both what is said, and what isn’t.
(Apologies for being a tad testy if this was not a troll, but I've fielded a few too many of these sorts of queries that are a backhanded attempt to "prove" that any claim Hephaistion and Alexander were lovers is just romantic claptrap by silly women who aren't "real" scholars. Ergo, my skepticism.)
#asks#Roxane#Roxana#Alexander the Great#Hephaistion#Hephaestion#Alexander's relationships#possible baiting#historiography#classics#ancient macedonia#ancient Greece#source messaging about Alexander#sophrosune#Plutarch
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You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
Plutarch
#Plutarch#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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i do love the reading of sulla giving pompey the cognomen magnus as a mean joke about him acting like a little baby. like he can’t control his own army and throws a tantrum about it (unless of course he staged the mutiny. but if he did i think he did it badly). like yeah pompey is ‘great’. lol. also remember when sulla didn’t even mention pompey in his will
#sulla and pompey’s relationship is soooooo funny to me#s*xy s*lla#snompey#plutarch#suicide mention —#beeps
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Lucian's Library 6
Feel free to suggest never written books you wish you could read.
Some items suggested by impatient readers for still living authors.
#Terry Pratchett#Discworld#Gnu#Lay of Eárendil#JRR Tolkien#The Princess Bride#Robert Jordan#Wheel of Time#Wan Shi Tong's Spirit Library#Avatar: the Last Airbender#Clive Barker#Abarat#Rosemary Kirstein#Steerswoman Series#The Aeneid#Virgil#The Fuzzy Sapiens Series#H. Beam Piper#Plutarch#Epaminondas#Melanie Rawn#Exiles Series
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