#Please don't take this seriously

[regularsystemdeez]

Change your URL.

pirate watching people jump off a diving board: yarr. be they walking the plank... by choice?

[robotsturnmeon]

my friend came up with a super funny sam & max but actual police joke today so

[cupcakeshakesnake]

I have this idea regarding what to do with my body postmortem, which is that there'd be a button hooked up to my skull that plays recordings of stupid things I said in life

[i-regret-nothing-lol]

Never thought I'd ship Bowser and Luigi but here we are...

I drew this in less than half-an-hour so it's pretty shitty but you know what? I love it.

[dilutedh2so4]

What do we think of this? Explanations below 😭

Jezebel x Ahab - The Phoenician princess Jezebel was married to king Ahab of Israel as part of a political alliance. She was key in the attempt to replace the Israelite state religion with her own, killing a few people along the way. She also got Ahab the vineyard he wanted (..through some murderous means..) when his own negotiations failed. Definitely the top in that relationship ;)

Jesus x Judas - something something, must you betray me with a kiss, something something, do what you are here to do, something something, he went and hanged himself

Eve x Lilith - Now, in the Bible, Lilith is only actually mentioned in Isaiah (as an evil spirit), then expanded upon in later tradition (to explain the two Creation accounts in Genesis). In this later tradition, she was said to be Adam's first wife who wouldn't submit to him, so God made another from his rib: Eve. I don't think they ever met, but I have seen some fanart, so here they are

Ruth x Naomi - MY OTP. Canon, because I said so. Tragic, because basically all their male relatives die and then Ruth has to marry Boaz for security. Ruth 1:16-17 my beloved 💔

Jacob x Leah - Put this here as a joke about the fact that Jacob always preferred her sister Rachel over Leah herself, and was tricked into marrying her by Laban.

Mary x Joseph - Two thirds of the Holy Family: the ever-compassionate Mother of God (in Christianity) and the step-dad who Stepped Up. See Matthew 1 & 2, Luke 1 & 2, or the (apocryphal) Protoevangelium of James for more

Devorah x Jael - Doesn't make sense as they never actually meet, but when you have two gaslight-gatekeep-girlbosses in the same chapter, they gotta be together. Don't usually recommend reading Judges (for your own mental health), but maybe look into Judges 4 just for them ;)

David x Jonathan - Where to begin? With how Jonathan's soul was said to be bound with David's, and how he loved him as himself? (1 Sam. 18:1-5) Jonathan risking his life to help David escape King Saul's wrath? (1 Sam. 19 and 20) The pair weeping and kissing before they part? (1 Sam. 20:41) David, in his mourning for [spoilers] Jonathan's death, calling his love more wonderful than that of women? (2 Sam. 1)

Absalom x Mephibosheth - David's son and Jonathan's son, whom David adopted. The two fans are @anniflamma and @sir-davey

Daniel x Darius - King Darius the Mede and the eunuch from Judah he falls for at first sight. Or something. Idk, ask anniflamma

Judith x unnamed maid - It does make sense, I swear. Probably unpopular because it's in the Deuterocanon, and also you have to be really looking for it -- but it is there, I promise!!!

St Paul - Just see 1 Corinthians 7

Don't take this too seriously lol, it's all in good fun :))

Feel free to add what you would have done differently / your own propaganda!

[applepie-enthusiast]

Sanemi, filming himself using his cellphone: I'm proud to identify as moronsexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for Tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight every night

Sanemi, smiling: watch this

Sanemi, focusing the camera on Giyuu who's busy typing on his phone as he sat by the couch: Hey dumbass, what kind of animal is the pink panther?

Giyuu, looking up to face Sanemi: *squinting as if to think longer than necessary* Wait, I'll google it

Sanemi, quickly panning the camera back at himself: It's this same guy

Sanemi, starts unbuttoning his shirt before he cuts off the video: Tomioka, you are so fucking stupid—

[starcurtain]

Outing myself as the dead-opposite of a Genshin rarepair lover to say that my favorite brand of Zhongli/Childe is definitely:

Grandpa's Mid-Life Crisis Retirement Checklist:

✅️ Flawless human disguise (no one suspects a n y t h i n g)

✅️ Part-time side hustle

✅️ Self-planned funeral (the flowers were fire 👌)

✅️ Friends know I'm not actually dead

✅️ Liyue flourishing

✅️✅️��️ Russian mail order husband

[chocolix76]

Why is it that 90% of the time when Ruin is getting threatened, it sounds like he's just being flirted with? I think everyone just wants Ruin deep down and is too ashamed to admit it so they threaten him instead

[man3at3r-mp4]

Me the second I enter heaven/hell in Vivziepop's universe.

[red-room-studi0]

sorry, not sorry

[s3janus]

"I hate Victor so much!!! He's such an annoying loser!!!" OK. Anyways, you could not pull Henry Clerval

[malcontentonline]

Spoilers for good omens season 2 under the cut...

But like what if (post miracle) Jim and Beelzebub hung out a bunch huh? What then?

Sucks to be you, little guy.

That's all I got for now :p

[harley-joking]

Dazai and his bitches.

[lotsofblabblers]

Imagine if Donovan had psychic powers, and Melinda was like that because she knows.

Is like the people from that episode of the Twilight Zone, that had to be happy because if they didn't, the psychic child would send them to the cornfield. 👀

Don't go to the cornfield, Melinda!

[pietratoons]

I was playing Dress to Impress and I received the theme "Musicals"

So have my Alexander Hamilton 💅✨

I don't know why I lost, he was perfect 😔😔

[wildfang-art]

I made this for a slightly unhinged Powerpoint presentation that I forced my friends to sit through and thought I might as well share it on here ................ enjoy