#Plastic Beach Redo

[worldwright]

Good evening !

Hope you had a fun time yesterday !

I'm currently writing another fic -I hope I'll finish this one bc it's weird to ask friends whether or not eating a soul is worse than eating a friend SO ANYWAY. I wrote over 1.1k words today so I feel pretty confident that I'll finish it !

Nothing really happened today, so that's good I guess. I just want a new tattoo I guess -but I only get new tattoos if, and only if, I pass one semester and since I want to redo my whole 2nd year and I'm just skipping class now without even trying to go near my university, it's not for this year or the next one :/

Normally I'll get the letter for my new names this next week, I can't wait to see if they accept it or not (I hope they do, or else I'm intruding and spilling glitter everywhere in their offices.)

Have a lovely morning my friend !

omg that is an amazing threat. you are going to be picking plastic out of your scalp like sand after a beach day. you will open a file folder in six and a half years and find the enduring evidence of your sins. hope you wanted a fun new twist to all official mail that gets sent out to anyone.

yesterday was great!! not to give you psychic damage but here's the crepes we ate 👇

this one was mine, it was basically a breakfast scramble wrapped in a crepe. impeccable

& I got a new kind of tea!! it's so fruity and delightful 🥰🥰 just like me 🥰🥰

by the time we finished with shopping I was pretty tired, and kinda considering skipping the choir concert, but I'm so glad we went, it was fantastic. only three religious songs wooooo (or at least, only three religious songs in English lol) and some of the pieces were so incredibly engaging :3

wait there may have been more than three, there was that southern gospel-style one ....... anyway

I think today's gonna be more chill, and then I can go home and see my kitties!!!

have a lovely evening, friend!!

[fairyprince7]

I actually like. Damaged my beach ken a little when using nail polish remover to get rid of his old top scar paint so I could redo it. The plastic scuffed

This is fine

[last-of-cheese]

So the Gorillaz concert in Chicago was pretty fuckin awesome. I met a few more people who decided to cosplay for the concert too. All of you were cute as hell. (Sorry for the blurry picture with the Noodles my hands were shaking horribly it was kind of a rough night for me.)

Damon Albarn is real and I love him. Y’all have no idea how much this concert meant to me, but you’re about to fuckin learn.

So basically back when I was in high school I took this class called advanced composition. It was a class where it taught you how to write a term paper to prep you for college. We were able to pick the topic we wrote about so we would enjoy the research and writing while we learned the process, so we could be faster on ones we might not enjoy the subjects on quite as much. I chose Gorillaz as my topic of choice since they were my favorite band of all time back then, and still are to this day 14 years later. The minimum number of pages you had to have typed up when you turned in your paper was 20 pages. In the end when everything was typed up, quotes and references were sited, and all that jazz… I ended up with over 40 pages. This was back in 2008 before Plastic Beach was released so not a lot of discography and lore of the bad was out. Not a lot of canon lore anyways. If I went back and updated everything I could easily double if not triple my original page count, and that’s just the thing. I still have my original notebook I hand wrote my term paper in. It’s like the one thing from my high school years that I treasure. The paper itself is fuckin garbage, and I could redo it to be so much better, but dammit for it being my first big paper and it being a passion project of mine on something I loved and still love so much to this day… I love that god damn paper so much. That’s why this concert meant so much to me. Gorillaz has been a huge part of my life for the majority of my life. I will be that fuckin old man at 80 reminiscing about this band because they mean that much to me.

[mixergiltron]

Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.

Well,we're halfway through Sharkfest,but there's still plenty more to watch. And plenty more sharky Tiki drinks to mix up. Enjoy!

Mix #206 Luau Room Shark Tooth

1.5oz Tanduay rum* 1/2oz sloe gin 1oz lemon juice 1oz passionfruit syrup 1-2oz club soda

Shake everything except soda and pour into Mai Tai glass. Top with soda.

*I used Coruba.

This is the recipe used in the Luau Room bar of the Hotel del Coronado in the 1950's and 60's. It's light and sweet with a gin finish. An excellent summer drink.

I finally picked up some sloe gin which is much sweeter than other gins,and now I'll have to go back over some of my mixings that were supposed to use it and redo them. It really changes the character of the drink,so if a recipe calls for it instead of regular gin,you should use the correct stuff. It's also not bad to make a gin 'n tonic.

Mix #207 Mai-Kai Shark Bite

1oz Plantation 5yr Barbados rum 1oz Appleton Estate 12yr rum 1/2oz lime juice 1/oz pineapple juice 1/2oz rich(2:1) simple syrup 1/8oz cinnamon syrup

Rinse a rocks glass with water and freeze to create an ice shell. Shake everything except Appleton with ice until frothy. Add crushed ice to glass and strain mix in. Serve Appleton on side and pour in as a float.

Ok,so I just shook everything with ice and put it in a glass,and it turned out just fine. This is the Mai-Kai's take on the Shark Bite. It's got a sweet/tart blend with just of touch of cinnamon on the end. A nice drink,but it really didn't stand out enough to me to put it in regular rotation.

Mix #208 Blue Water White Death

2oz silver tequila 3/4oz Cointreau 3/4oz blue curacao 1/2oz lime juice 1/2oz simple syrup few drops grenadine

Shake everything except grenadine with ice and pour into Mai Tai glass. Add a few drops of grenadine to look like blood in the water.

So I found a recipe going around the internet for a 'shark attack margarita'. It was a kitschy drink where you pour grenadine into way too much sweet and sour mix from a plastic shark. I tweaked the recipe and it started out ok until the grenadine kicked in,then it turned out almost undrinkable. Now,there was a '70's movie called 'Blue Water,White Death' that was supposed to be a great white shark documentary,and that was also a hot mess. So I decided to fix this drink and name it after the movie to try and redeem both. The drink is a pretty bright turquoise with the grenadine giving it the 'blood in the water' look,and the tequila gives it plenty of bite. It's very tequila forward,so use the good stuff(I used 1800) with a light taste that goes back and forth between tart and sweet. Only use about six to eight drops of grenadine;too much and it will overwhelm the drink and make it too sweet. And remember the old reel,"one tequila,two tequila,three tequila,floor";this drink will sneak up and bite you like a great white hitting a seal.

So enjoy Sharkfest folks,and have fun at the beach.

[withfeelingthistime2232]

What Are You?

You’ll Like It...

He didn't know how much more he can take looking at that sodden blue God. He understood it was to early to mess around his head much less the sheets. Especially under the current circumstances where grief still rumbled in their chests. Some more silently than others, But the close quarters doesn't help his dick...

It's even harder when his scent overpowered the rum, the passing hours daydreaming when he should be sleeping, listening intently to the sleepy breaths shooting small shives down his spine. Even the look in his eyes held a beautiful amount of amazement when he peered at the waterlife, full of awe and fear. He was a goner, he realized it the moment his thoughts wandered to his missing front teeth.

he slumped back in his chair chewing on his pipe, seeming uninterested in the tall bluenette he stared down like a hungry fox and tried to seem uninterested in anything related to the man in front of him. Especially the bonding he's trying with the cyborg.

“ Well, no not quiet. It getting close though! Here” He grabs her hands to show her the handshake for the twelfth time always getting stumped on the same damn step, He needs to stop messing with that damn robot. “Now, copy my face” he says as he scrunches up his nose poking the tip with his tongue.

Cyborg follows suit exactly,perfectly even, leaving behind no feeling and a loose dead stare. Dee’s tongue hangs limp in a moment of realization. What am I trying to do? All was quiet till a scan was put in place by the other causing an alarm to go off in the Cyborg, a small series of little bloops making 2D spark back.

“Im detecting emotional distress” Noodle states blantly looking back to Murdoc, and with those two little words that makes him turn back fast. “Ok time for a charge” He replied quickly to cover up the machines words “Tusspot why dontcha come look here for a bit?” Cyborg then stands, marching straight to the back to plug herself in as 2D ceases to move from his hard stare at the spot “Noodle” once sat. “Oi, faceache” “...” he could still see a fuzzy outline of her if he concentrated hard enough. “2D!” he speaks up a bit louder. “God Are you bloody deft? “Hu?” he blinks the dryness out of his eyes before answering Murdoc.

Murdoc pats the arm of his chair to emphasize.

“Im...I'm good Mudz” “Get over here”

Stuart gives a sigh before stumbling over to the faux Captain. Standing, Silent as they listen to the passing waves, As he takes in every little intake of the others breath. Its peacefully. Murdoc watched absentmindedly along to the breathing as seeing the other focused on a school of fish warping through the waves. He had a hint of a smile on his lips yet, there it was again, that look in his eye. What's he scared of?

“So what's the problem?” Murdoc asks to break the silence. “Mean besides the kidnapping?, everything” Stuart says all to quick wittedly smile wiping from his face. Well damn, got me there. “I ment with the ocean” “What with the ocean? Nofinks wrong wit the ocean, I love it you know that” He says a little too quickly making the words unbelievable with his stumbling accent. “Dents”

Stuart clicks his nails together behind his back hoping to keep his nervous habits hidden as deciding whether or not to tell the man his problems.

“Its……, well its.” “Your mumbling” Murdoc says agitatedly. ‘Whales” Stuart says speaking up.

Murdoc laughs as Stuart watches the cork pipe bob mockingly, furrowing his eyebrows.

“What!?” Stuart says with a bite in his words. “Ain't ya dad like a fish guy though?” he asks though his laugh “Marine biologist and yea, so?” “So what ya scared of those fat things anyway?” “It could eat me!” “Eat you! Eat You!? Whales eat krill dumbass” Murdoc explains, with breathing difficult to handle ‘Krill swim in groups don’ they?” Stuart says in a quick retort “Yeah?, your point?” He says calming down from his manic high. ‘Well...when dey swim in the groups it's big!...so dey can mistake me for krill hu?, like when sharks bite surfers by accident?”

As he thought over his words he was taken aback at the question, could they mistake things for a group of food? It was a stupid yet, somewhat intelligent thought that he couldn't really answer, well really how could he? but he wasn't wrong. “.....far fetched,but this- this isn't some pinocchio scenario Dee, and you're not scared of sharks so why whales? “Well, a shark is smaller... I cou’ somewhat fight back, maybe even win?” “Fat Chance” Murdoc says with a grin staring at the others annoyed expression. “Wot Im tryin ta say is that it’ll be scary jus livin in a whale. You’d just be sitting in a pitch black room made of flesh.. till ya jus die, if it dont ripe ya leg apart first.” he says ending the conversation to look out the window again.

…..

A loud sneeze after the following silence makes Stuart jump away from the Bassist glaring at the other through his sniffle. Murdoc rests his hand on the Singer's lower back in a non-verbal apology only to slip lower as the other allows the rare comfort.The pair stops there,right at the hip precisely as they both gaze out the window, working out each other's uncertainty with daring movements, lower down the hip, through a belt loop, thumb slowly rubbing bare skin. It's only till the Bassists dares to move under the shirt does Stuart speak up.

‘Mudz..” He says with warning Does it really look like I know what I'm doing either? He said to know one but himself. He lingers his hold a few moments longer before dropping his arm to the side, making a chirped noise of disappointment for the both of them.

“What's it like?” Stuart asks after a pregnant pause

The question took him back few stages as he tried to pinpoint exactly what he was asking. Sensing the other's confusion he spoke before the Faux Captain had a chance of retaliation.

“You painted it pink, but like ugly pink?” He asks making idle conversation

Murdoc closes his mouth with a solid hum and hands the pipe over to 2D, Lighting a match for the mans whose hands shook to much to do so himself. Watching him inhale the fumes of the remaining salvageable tobacco before speaking.

“Its wonderful, I think. Not the type of amazement wonderful it's more like ‘why is this heap of shit here?’ sort of wonderful.” He spoke while he fanned the match out.

“Like when ya find an arm on a corn dog?”

“Yeah?” he says with a questioningly, mumbling to himself as he repositioned himself in the chair.

“Far away it looked amazing…. Then when ya get up reeeal close n’ see all the melted plastic you’ll do a double take I swear”

“So its literal garbage?”

“Yeah... not gonna sugar coat it, it's a landmass forged from a shit load of garbage. Don- don worry your pretty head though Dents. I cleaned most of it up and made a palace modified from that playboy-ishq mansion we got kicked out of in Monaco” Murdoc spoke while watching the smoke tendrils pour from his thin lips.

Though trying to seem uninterested in the charismatic levels pooling from the Bassist he couldn't hide the smile threatening to form at the corner of his mouth.

“You'll like it we got a studio, a lovely rotting lighthouse where I hold my radio channel, and a very Hot sun~”

“It sounds like crap Mudz” Stuart said laughing as he handed the pipe back to him.

[cesca-untoldstories]

@jotaros-rightnipple uwu  not to forget I need to redo the sketch in a near future~

Jojo’s bizarre Adventure: Plastic Beach 

Were Josuke and Yoshikage are besto’ friendos’  ft. Koichi tall been a fusion of intelligence and yandere’ism

[doomednarrative]

I’m doing this for fun simply because I'm rewatching them all so,

Here's my personal ranking for Every Gorillaz Music video, based both on song and the video itself:

(This is going to be a long post)

PHASE ONE:

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10. I love this song and the video fits its vibe, but its still pretty simplistic and not a whole lot of actual animation and no story, so it gets points off for that.

Clint Eastwood: 10/10. I love this one honestly. Its still so charming after all this time and showcases the band well for their early days. Love the more moody tone of it, and I always love seeing the band actually play instruments in their videos too. Bonus points for Murdoc's laugh opening this one because I love that.

Rock The House: 9/10. Pure fun. I don't have a lot of commentary for it, I just think its fun and I love the song itself too. One point off for Murdoc thrusting his hips too many times for my eyes tho.

19-2000: 10/10. This one was the first Gorillaz video that I saw and it really is just a nice non plot connected video. The 3D animation still manages to hold up because of its mix with 2D animation in my opinion and I enjoy it.

Rockit: 5/10. I like the song but the video is kinda meh.

PHASE ONE MV'S OVERALL: Overall I like phase one and I miss Del. Bring him back.

PHASE TWO:

Dirty Harry: 8/10. 2D is just vibing so hard in this video and I'm living for it. That’s all that matters. (Side note but I love the version of this video they did for the BRIT's as well.)

DARE: 10/10. Noodles time to shine, a perfect song, what more could you ask for?? (Also love the bit with Murdoc at the end of course.)

Feel Good Inc: 10/10. This one is obvious if you know me at all. Murdoc playing his bass is what sells this one for me cause I enjoy the animation. The songs amazing and one I find comforting to listen to, and the mood of the video fits it perfectly. Theres some really fun shots with lighting while 2D is standing at the window too in the tower in here that I've always liked.

El Mañana: 6/10. I love this song but it makes me sad and so does the video.

PHASE TWO MV'S OVERALL: Phase One is iconic for its art style and for being The Beginning, but Phase Two is my favorite of the two for its art. I love how these videos are animated, and even if Demon Dayz is my least favorite album, the songs in these videos are all very good. Pretty solid as a whole all things considered.

PHASE THREE:

Stylo: 10/10 LISTEN, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HATE THE CGI, BUT I LOVE IT. It’s so expressive, this song is one of my absolute faves, I’m sorry to be such a Murdoc liker but hes so much fun in this video and so expressive and it starts the story off for Plastic Beach. I love it so much.

On Melancholy Hill: 7/10. It’s not a bad video, and I love the song a lot, but...not a lot actually happens in the video aside from the bits with Noodle. Bonus points however go to just how seamlessly it puts 2D and 3D animation together, and for how cute 2D looks this whole video.

Rhinestone Eyes: 9/10. WOULD BE A 10/10 IF WE’D GOTTEN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FOR IT ;-; (The fan animated video for it tho is Very very good and i applaud that whole team.) Amazing song, this video has the most story packed into it so far from all the other videos and it’s memorable from its storyboards for that alone.

Doncamatic: 10/10 Listen...Listen I know its a one off and it doesn't really have anything in it but I’m obsessed because its one of my favorite Gorillaz songs tbh and I love Daley’s outfit in it so it gets a full pass from it.

PHASE THREE MV’S OVERALL: I love every video this phase tbh, none of them are bad. All of them are fun,and even if Melancholy Hill is a little slow, it’s still enjoyable. I love this phase because they all connect and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way either.

PHASE FOUR:

Hallelujah Money: 7/10. It’s not at all bad, but I’m as not fond of this song, and the video itself is much too trippy for me. Still has its own merits tho that I won’t knock it for even if it’s not my personal taste.

Saturn Barz: 10/10. Everything about this video is amazing. Character designs and as a comeback for the bands animated counterparts, it was perfect. I loved hearing them actually speak again too it made the whole thing so fun. The song is fuckin awesome and it fits the vibe of the whole video. Bonus points for the more lineless animation style they gave everyone in this video, it was a really neat change from past phases. My one complaint is again stop making me see so much naked Murdoc, I may like him but not like that.

Sleeping Powder: 6/10. I am so split when it comes to the mo cap models. This songs good but the video is again too trippy for me.

Strobalite: 9/10. Would have been 10/10 if Russel got to dance with 2D and Noodle, but other than that its pretty damn good. The mo cap looks way less awkward in here, particularly Murdoc and Russel. Also hilarious that Murdoc made a deal with the devil, and the guy who played him is actually his voice actor irl. This songs too much fun to vibe to as well.

PHASE FOUR MV’S OVERALL: Not much for story, but makes up for it in updated art and great music again. Solid overall yet again. I like it.

PHASE FIVE:

Humility: 20/10. Literally every single person I know who’s seen this video loved it. The animation is Beautiful, the song is so fuckin catchy, Jack Black is in it! What more do you want!! (The only thing I could have asked for was to see more of Ace but that’s its only flaw.)

Tranz: 9/10. I love this song so much but this video is Again just a little too trippy for me. However, we get to see Ace just jamming out in this video and I’ll take the trippiness just for that.

PHASE FIVE MV’S OVERALL: I was surprised there wasn't at least one more video for this phase honestly? I feel like Kansas or Souk Eye would have made for great videos for this phase. That aside tho, both the videos it does have are a lot of fun. My literal only complaint is that I wanted to see more of Ace. Bring him back in the future.

PHASE SIX:

Momentary Bliss: 8/10. This songs fine, but what sells it for me is the video is more slice of life/a day in the life of the studio. I’m always a fan of those moments. Bonus points goes to Murdoc trying to fuckin poison Jamie and it backfiring on him.

Désolé: 10/10: ooooh this song is so beautiful...I love it so much. 2D Noodle and Russel got to have such a fun time in this video and they deserve it. And poor Murdoc, having his little sad times by his asshole self. I love him but I think he deserved it. The others needed a good break from the bullshit and I’m glad they got it.

Aries: 6/10. Video itself is kinda boring, but the song is nice. Murdoc deserved to be left behind in Désolé after what he tried to pull here.

Friday the 13th: 3/10. I don’t care for this video and I really don’t care for the song. Not much else to say.

PAC-MAN: 6/10. Video’s fine, I like some of the little details in it, but it’s nothing special. The song itself is nice tho, super calming, I like it.

Strange Timez: 20/20 MY GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH...VISUALS ARE SO FUN, I LOVE ROBERT SMITH SO I LOVE HIM IN HERE, ITS JUST A GOOD TIME ALL AROUND!

The Pink Phantom: 5/10 I just don’t really care for this song?? I like Elton John but I couldn’t get myself to like this one no matter how many times I’ve listened. 2D got to be happy in this video tho so I’ll give it a pass.

The Valley of the Pagans: 6/10. This song fuckin slaps but the video feels like a boring redo of 19-2000 except for it’s ending. It gets points for giving everyone Plastic Beach feelings at the end and hyping up the video after it.

The Lost Chord: 20/20. Y’all knew this was coming. This was something I’d BEEN hoping for story wise and I finally got it. Was it maybe a little rushed? Yes. But GOD it was such a nice thing to see them say “hey we’ve wrapped up this part of the story for good and want everyone to move on from it, so we’ve given it a properly acknowledged final send off.” And tangibly seeing everyone's emotions laid out about the island and their times there was very nice. And  I know Jamie and Damon have stated Murdoc is irredeemable, blah blah yes I know hes an asshole still, but I WILL think about Murdoc in this video and how he seemed actually regretful and what that means to me and the fact that it was no one else but 2D himself being the one to reach out to Murdoc in the end to save him until my dying breath, thank you very much. And this song?? Fuckin beautiful, it had those Plastic Beach vibes again and felt good for it’s send off song, I love it.

PHASE SIX MV’S OVERALL: I may be a little split on some of them and on Song Machine as a whole, but tbh I love the phase six art style so much and most times the videos were pretty good. Bringing back PB in the end was something I always wanted too so it really does get bonus points from me for that. I’m 50/50 on them overall. The great ones are great, and the meh ones are just kinda boring, so it evens out in the end.

STAND ALONE VIDEOS MENTION:

Do Ya Thing: 10/10. I’ve said before I love the 3D animation and the slice of life stuff, so this one’s obviously a favorite, and you really cant go wrong with an Andre 3000 feature either. 

Superfast Jellyfish: 3/10. This song is kinda fun but I don’t give a single shit about the music video.

Garage Palace: 8/10. Very fun pixel visuals for a change along with a killer song, super enjoyable.

So what’s my final verdict on Gorillaz and their long music video history?

Honestly for a group thats been going as long as they have, I dont think they have too many misses in their catalog. The ones that aren’t as fun are just kinda there, but the videos that really stand out stand out far above the ones that don’t hit the mark as well and in the end it all feels like a good balance. No band has a perfect video every time, but the ones that Gorillaz did well they did amazing on and I enjoy it immensely when that happens.

Sidenotes after watching all of those:

For the love of god please put Russel in the videos more, please, he deserves it and I would love to see him more.

On that note, BRING DEL BACK WITH HIM TOO!!

And speaking of characters to bring back, I want Ace to come back and join Murdoc sometimes, even if its only once or twice more, I need to see them interact PLEASE.

Last note but Jamie, please, I’m begging, show less of mostly naked or fully naked of Murdoc in future videos, we’ve had our fill by now.

[firespirited]

Skylar took me a while, I tried various things before resorting to acetone + magic eraser for the blue stains to her face and the reroot to hide the hole in her head isn’t my most seamless of repairs. Her upperlip “highlight” is too low but I don’t have the skills right now to try removing it or redoing her lips. The only close to “coppertone” body I had was this cali girl beach bod (neck peg cut to a smaller disk-size) and combined with this dress that was close to the surface and the face glitter she has super ganguro vibes which I dig but I put her hair up until she gets a stand (and maybe a curl redo) and she’s now got a anime-ballerina-princess feel to her. Final pic is a closeup of the forehead mess but also those irises manage to look good from the side, scuffed plastic edges and all. Noice. Gotta admit the sheen they chose (green holographic) is baffling and i’m still getting used to the slightly insectoid-invoking shape of the face LMAO but then I blink and they’re vividly coloured anime characters and I love em to bits. Fairytopia meets Bratz Tokyo meets those gumby stained up anime dolls you had to import from japan.

[waterinathermostat]

Okay so I’m gonna make a real long post about my instruments so this is it. Feel free to scroll by (also sorry the pics r so bad I’d go outside but I don’t wanna put shoes on and also it’s wet)

Okay starting out I have my baby, The Countess

Pardon the humidifier. The countess was the experimental girl. First full-size guitar my dad made. It has a bevel on the front and one in the back because uh. Boobs. (Which is what makes it my comfiest guitar) The action is a bit high and she’s really really heavy on account of the woods he used so this girl is definitely not one u wanna play standing up. As for sound, it’s very warm in tone and has medium-light strings on (put heavy strings on a while ago. Like. 56 gauge. Not fun it killed my hand but it sounded gorgeous) And the tuners?? Like butter. Also fun fact about the Empress, she can stand up on her own!

Movin on tho

Now I can’t say she’s my favorite but the next one is my favorite guitar I own now

If you’ve ever seen me talk about Desdemona, this is her. My dad redid the setup on this Gibson and had to sand it down to repair some scratches (hence why some of the black is gone round the edges) but she plays like a charm. He also had to redo the bridge because it had a crack through the pins. Light warm sound, I think I have medium-lights on this one too. The action is really low and it’s perfect for taking it hiking or to the beach or just any trip. It’s my only fully matte guitar and I love her sm.

Next up is not my favorite but it sounds great

This is Rosa and it’s the only Spanish classical guitar I have in my room. I can’t remember what it is my dad fixed on this one but. The action is perfect and it’s really loud and clear. I personally don’t love classical guitars but overall it’s a decent instrument.

Next is my girl Jess

The only electric guitar in the house. I don’t play her as often but she’s a fun gal. The tuners freak me out every time tho.

Now this next one is pretty special

Yes I took this pic on my bed. So this is Tessa. All koa except for the darker parts which are ebony and a plastic binding. Neck heavy (which I prefer on these half scales) and the tuners r like butter. This was the last guitar my dad finished and it’s technically his. If u put a capo on the 5th fret of a regular acoustic this is what you’d get. Silk-wrapped strings make it feel like a regular full-scale but don’t hurt ur hand as much. Wonderful for practicing new chords.

Now these last two technically aren’t guitars but they are in my room so

This gal is an ukulele my dad made me back when he still made stuff with cigar boxes. It plays great and u can also plug it into an amp. He put a little plaque on the side and. Yeah it’s my favorite thing ever. And bonus it has ladies on the paper!

And last one for now

This is the only mandolin I’ve ever tried playing. Can’t play any chords for shit and forgot the few pickin songs I knew. Might pick it up again this summer tho so who knows. It’s a bit dusty but I don’t wanna have to restring it to clean it off yet so. Also never settled on a name for this one but I always did like Magnolia, although I might use that one for another guitar I’m gettin soon.

And I think that’s all of my geetars for now. All the ones in my room anyway we have. A lot more

[jaxxandcomet]

JJ x Reader the shark

requested : nah ( please request )

trigger warning : blood, blood, blood, pain, more blood,  slight sexual intentions, shark bites/wounds, just more blood  

summary : a cut on your thigh is one thing, but when blood starts to stain the oceans water, jj and the pogues know its another

word count : 2050 or something like that 

∞

Of course, swimming and surfing were your two favorite things to do, especially with your boyfriend, JJ, and the Pogues. And this day, it was the best day to go swimming.  

This was normally the perfect day. Getting into your car, you felt something snag the skin on your thigh and saw a tiny trickle of blood coming from a small cut. Shrugging it off, and wiping up the blood already on your leg with a tissue, you turned on your vehicle and made your way towards John B’s. 

His house was where you spent most of your time, in fact, nearly all of it. With your parents out on business all the time, you were basically out to fend for yourself. JJ had realized this and told John B, who said you could stay over any time. 

Pulling into the Chateau you turn off the engine of your car and hop out. You have on a crop top with frilled small straps at the top and an ivory color, and light blue canvas shorts that go to about six inches above your knee. You hear talking as you make your way into John B’s screen porch. It smells of beer, weed, mint and for some reason, blood. You look down at your thigh again and see the blood is gushing out, and now as you look at it, the pain comes clawing back. 

“Who’s here?” Pope says and you turn your head to the door, just as your sitting down, reaching for a tissue box.

“Just Y/N, sorry I didn’t tell you I was here. Where is everyone?” You ask, digging around in the box for a tissue and find the very last one hiding in the corner. 

“JJ, John B, and me. What happened to your leg?” Pope asks and calls for JJ to come out. 

“Shit,” you breath, grasping the tissue and pulling it out as blood stains your white socks. 

JJ comes outside just as you are about to put the tissue on the cut, his bright blue eyes scrunch as he beams at you. He’s wearing a light navy blue cotton tee shirt, and, of course, board shorts. Sandy blonde hair flies around his head. 

“Hey chief,” he says, calling you his pet nickname. You smile faintly as the tissue begins to get soaked. Your hair billows down around your face to concentrate on the cut. 

“Hey captain. Are there any more tissues out here?” Pressing the tissue down harder, the blood seeps into it, staining your fingers red. 

“I’ll go look.” Pope says, turning around so quick his dark red beach button down tee shirt billows. 

“Thanks Pope,” you yell at him, but he’s gone, and JJ bends down next to you, examining the cut. 

“Fuck, what happened? Doesn’t look too good,” he observes and you let out a laugh. His eyes glance up at you and you feel queasy from how good he looks. His smile is enough to melt you. 

Pope returns and tosses JJ the tissue as you drop the now soaked and fully red one into the trash can, next to the table with a few empty beer bottles. 

“When I stepped into the car on the way here I scraped it against something. I don’t know what, but fuck, it hurts now.” You say as JJ grabs a tissue and starts to press gently on the cut, Pope looks excited, and you remember how he loves blood and guts from his forensic science obsession. If you ever got like, a real, big wound, Pope would probably drool. 

“Hey guys.” John B says as he walks out of the door, tipping his head to glance at what JJ was doing on the floor, and then finally understanding. “Fuck Y/N, what happened?” You retold the story to John B, and then again to Ki as she arrived. 

JJ had stopped the bleeding for now and applied a band aid to the cut, as you all grabbed your things and headed towards the HMS Pogue. Its a the ramshackle boat that John B inherited from his father, Big John, just after he disappeared at sea. 

Getting onto the boat, you almost slip and fall, but JJ grabs your arm and pulls you upright. 

“I think you clumsy because of the loss of blood from that cut,” you give JJ a laugh as Pope corrects him. His eyes are wide and his pupils big as he holds your hand. 

“Actually, you have to loss-” he starts but John B covers his mouth to stop him.

“I knew that.” JJ says, trying to hide his mistake. Its funny when he does that. 

A few minutes later, your sitting on the side of the boat as Pope sits steering. Your sandy haired boyfriend smiles, rubbing your back in soothing figure eights. His touch always make you feel happy, and now as you move to lay with your head in his lap, today could be heaven. 

Sea smelling wind rushes your senses, and your hair billows around you. You tell JJ about the shape of the clouds as you travel through the marsh. He keeps smiling at you, his eyes wide with delight as he rubs figure eights all over your back. Someone hands him and joint and he starts to smoke it, before giving you a go. Today, for the first time, you don’t cough. He looks proud. 

Pope stops the boat just outside of the marsh, and you strip out of your crop top and shorts. You feel someone looking at you, and see JJ staring. Your face turns red as he cheekily grins, his sharp teeth looking almost bared at you. You come over to him and help his shirt off, and cringe when you notice the still healing bruise on his ribcage. 

“Don’t worry chief, its the same one from last week.” He says, noticing your worry. Fathers still should never be able to hit their children, or mothers, or brothers, or boyfriends or sisters or girlfriends.You reach up and kiss him before John B playfully slaps your arm. 

“No pogue on pogue macking.” He jokes and you grin. 

“I call first jump!” You yell, shifting around to fall off the boat before anyone else. You always love the feeling of bubbles surrounding you as your friends jump in. Something you’ve only ever told the sandy haired boy about. 

You dive into the water gracefully, kicking your legs to the top and to where the water gets lighter colored. Its always calm under there for you. 

Then, just as you reach the top, pain erupts from your thigh, and you see the blood quickly soaking into the water. Its the worst feeling you’ve ever gotten. Like daggers stabbing at you all over the top of your right leg. Like a million bee stings in every square inch. 

A scream erupts from your mouth, followed by another and then a flurry of swear words. The pain is getting worse and it doubles as whatever caused you to feel it strikes again. You sink under and then again, the pain worsens by a million fold. 

You try and paddle to the water, and then see a flurry of bubbles as someone tugs you up. The pain in your thigh is streaking white in your vision, making it hard to think, or even breath. Salt water stings the already hell like pain and you scream again. 

It takes you more then a few seconds to see that its JJ hauling you back onto the HMS as Pope grabs you and lays you down on the bottom.  

“Oh fucking shit. Shit. Shit,” JJ looks worried as the pain worsens and you grimace. Finally risking a glance down at your thigh. Another scream erupts from your mouth at you see the blood is already covering the floor of the HMS, and deep, sharp teeth and rip marks surround your thigh. Your sure that whatever happened caused the bone to be showing. 

Kie almost faints and Pope lets a tear shake from his eye and John B stomps and bends down. 

“What the fuck happened?” JJ asks as you begin to feel light headed. 

“No time!” Pope declared and grabs a basket of towels and quickly starts pressing on the wound. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” JJ says, bending down as you start to shake. Your laying in your own blood. 

“Someone please grab the medical kit.” Pope says as the first towel gets soaked through, he grabs another quickly and John B rushes to find it. Pain is seering through your body, and your head and neck begins to pound. 

JJ grabs your hand and sits down, “your going to be okay chief. Your going to be okay. I promise. I love you chief. Your going to be okay Y/N.” You try to nod as fatigue hits your body, but JJ gets closer to your face. 

“Don’t fall asleep now chief. Look at me. Don’t fucking fall asleep. Look at my eyes.” JJ says as you see John B rush to your side, and Pope grabs the bottle of rubbing alcohol. He unscrews the lid but its never been used before, and the small plastic thing on the top is still there. It takes him a few long moments to pull off the wrapping, and in that time, the pain triples. 

“Hurry the fuck up Pope. She’s loosing conciseness.” JJ yells and you flinch. 

“I’m trying JJ.” Kie grabs the bottle and pulls it off with shaking hands before handing it back down to JJ. 

“Put something in her mouth. Its going to hurt a lot.” Pope said, and you feel yourself start to tremble. 

“3,2,1,” Pope says and you feel the pain in a heartbeat. Its a seering, hard, whipping pain. Hundreds of millions of bee stings in every single square inch and two thousand knife stabs everywhere. All at the same time. 

You bite down hard and JJ squeezes your hand. A few seconds later, they flip you over to get the back of your leg as well. The pain worsens as Pope and Kie start to press down to try and stop the bleeding. 

“What a fucking murder scene chief.” JJ said.  

∞

A few days later, you lay on JJ’s bed, head lolled back as Pope redoes the bandages. Its been hard to speak because of the pain, and after the doctors stitched you up at the hospital, you’ve mostly been in JJ’s room, with him next to you as you cry silent tears. 

Today though, everyone sits around you. JJ sitting upright next to you, John B at the end of the bed, and Ki on the swivel chair. They all watch in group horror as you sob when Pope unwraps the bandage. Its already bled through. JJ leans down and kisses you, his face full of worry. A few minutes later, and a few kisses later, your in new bandages and the gang sits around you, Pope settling in on your left side. 

“So what happened?” Most of the group already had an idea because of what the doctor had said, but you’d been falling in and out of conciseness for the past couple of days and completely at the hospital. JJ was the one who asked this time. 

“I think it was a shark. Got a smell or taste or something of the cut on my thigh and bite me three times.” 

“Shit.” Your boyfriend said. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kie said, rubbing your foot supportively. JJ kissed a tear away. 

“Its the worst thing I’ve ever felt.” You say, understating it. Its hard to understand pain when you’re not feeling it. 

“With you guys here, I feel better,” you say and Kie comes over to hug you, followed by John B, JJ, and Pope. Your friends. 

∞ 

okay shit. that actually is okay? i’m maybe thinking of redoing the ones i just wrought before because they were ughhhh. any who, here is goes. i have a thing for being a bit dramatic and i like when people get worried about characters, any who 

a and c

[upthenorthmountain]

Heartwood - Chapter Eight

Previous Chapters

The penultimate chapter! One more to go. No more smut, I’m sorry (not in the main story anyway) (you all know that I like to add bits in) (especially, here, we’re not seeing any of Kristoff’s POV, some of that might turn up at some point).

Chapter 8

A few days later Anna had a meeting with Mr Owens. She brought her marriage certificate and he congratulated her, then made arrangements for her to access the accounts for the money her parents had left. She also remade her will, and she’d thought she already knew exactly what she was going to do, but there were so many little niggling details that it took a long time. She wanted to leave the jewellery that had been their mother’s to Elsa, she might as well have it; but had to describe each piece. And she wanted to make sure that Kristoff got his grandmother’s ring back, of course. Then she had to decide what would happen if Kristoff pre-deceased her, or if Elsa did, or if she had a baby (and that led to some feelings that Anna quickly sealed in a box and put away. Another thing that would never happen. No point dwelling on it).

Once everything was done, she said to Mr Owens, “I’d like to buy Bennett’s Field. I’m assuming the developer doesn’t want it any more.”

He hesitated. “I believe it has already been sold.”

“Oh…”

“It can’t be used for housing anyway, now, you know.”

“I know. Thank you.”

She walked out to the taxi rank, annoyed. It had only been six weeks or so; someone else must have been waiting. She should have made enquiries earlier, but she’d wanted to be sure of the money. At least it couldn’t be housing. Hopefully someone just wanted to put some cows on there, or something.

----

Anna had, by now, stopped asking Kristoff about his mysterious occupation. Sometimes it had been fun to think of things to ask (“Are you a taxidermist?” “No.” “Are you a spy?” “No.” “Are you Taylor Swift’s bodyguard?” “From an office shed in the woods? No.”), but soon she found she didn’t really care. It genuinely didn’t matter. Some days he would shut himself up and only come out for dinner; once a month or so he would go up to London on the train and often not come back until the next day. The rest of the time he worked in the garden, or took her on long walks through the countryside, or sat in the living room and played his guitar or the piano.

Anna had been surprised to find out that the piano was in perfect tune. The stool was full of odds and ends of sheet music, and half-remembered lessons from fifteen years ago came back when she sat down and tried to play. It was so much more pleasant to play whatever she wanted, without anyone standing over her or expecting her to make actual progress.

She had all the time in the world now, for other hobbies she’d forgotten about or that were alleged to make too much mess. She sketched the cat in every pose, and did watercolour painting of the flowers from the gardens. Lillian taught her how to make bread, and she got pretty good. And she cycled everywhere she felt like. Sometimes Kristoff would put both their bikes in the back of the camper and they’d go off and explore somewhere else - her legs were getting strong enough to keep up with him, now. 

They also took the camper to the beach, sometimes; sometimes at the weekend during the day, when there were crowds of people and children making sandcastles, and they paddled in the sea and ate ice cream and people-watched; but more often in the early evening during the week, to somewhere quieter, where they might be the only people in miles. Once or twice they slept in the camper overnight, within sound of the waves, waking with the dawn.

That summer lasted forever and was over in a second. Anna helped in the garden and ate strawberries straight off the plant and fresh green peas out of the pod. She gathered sweet peas and poppies and daisies and filled vases in the house, but they never lasted long so in the end she started just enjoying them in the garden. Kristoff didn’t own a lawnmower, it was true, but he did hack down the grass occasionally with a scythe while Anna watched from a safe distance.

But mostly they walked. The bridleway behind the house led to a network of footpaths through the countryside, forests and farms and streams. Sometimes they took a packed lunch and stayed out all day. Anna loved it; sometimes she felt like she was living in a John Foster song. It was hard to remember listening to the music and looking longingly towards the woods, those few months ago.

One time when they were walking through a clearing Anna couldn’t help herself. The beams of sunlight hitting the forest floor were just so - she sang the refrain of Thistle Harvest softly, to the trees. Kristoff shot her a look.

“Must you?”

“Yes,” Anna said firmly, and sang it again, a little louder. Kristoff pulled a face.

“You have a lovely voice,” he said, “But surely you know other songs.”

“That song belongs here,” Anna said. “Right here, in this clearing. Okay, okay, I’m done now. But moments like that are what that song was written for - I don’t care what you think about John Foster, it would have been sacrilege not to sing it.”

He rolled his eyes, said “Well, if you’ve got that out of your system,” and walked on down the path.

----

One night that stuck in her memory was after the end of a long, hot week. The temperature had climbed, and the air had grown denser and heavier until all the weather could do was break, which it did just after nightfall on the Friday. The fresh cold air came sweeping through the forest, and Anna - who had just put on her pyjamas - ran outside into the garden. Her feet were bare and she shivered, but it was wonderful, after so many sweaty days and nights, to be shivering.

“It’s about to pour,” Kristoff said from just outside the back door, holding his toothbrush. “Come in before you get soaked.” Thunder rolled.

“I don’t care if I do,” Anna said. She looked up at the sky, and shivered again at another cool breeze. “I love the air before a storm, don’t you? It feels so alive.”

Kristoff ducked back inside, then he walked across the garden to her, his arms folded. She grinned at him, and he leant down and kissed her - just as the rain started, large wet raindrops that drummed on the corrugated plastic roof of the covered path by the back door, that soaked Anna’s hair until they ran down her back and her nose. 

Eventually they had to run back into the house, dripping and laughing. 

“You’re freezing,” Kristoff said as they stood just inside the back door, “You’ll catch your death -” then he froze, just for a second. “I’ll get your towel,” he said, and he was gone.

-----

If there was a point when things changed, that was it. He was still kind, and perfectly nice and friendly, and a pleasure to share a house with. But gradually he withdrew. He would still happily hug her, put a hand on her arm or the small of her back, but he kissed her less and less. The sex dwindled away as well, and Anna didn’t want to push anything. This wasn’t some kind of - slutty make-a-wish programme. 

Not that she thought he hadn’t wanted to, before - he’d obviously had a crush on her, that was all, and over time it had passed. These things burnt out after a while, sometimes, she guessed. It was still a lot nicer living here than at home, and when she made noises about moving out a couple of times he very quickly told her that she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted, he liked having her here, and that Banjo would miss her, and what would he say to Lillian? So she stayed. They both still wore their rings.

I don’t care if he doesn’t love me, she thought. I hope he DOESN’T, I never wanted him to. He likes me well enough to let me live here, and to be nice to me, and try to make me happy; I don’t want him to love me. If he doesn’t love me, then when I die, he’ll just be a little sad to lose a friend. But I never wanted to break his heart. That wouldn’t be fair.

-----

Anna told Kristoff she wanted summer to last forever. “For everything there is a season,” he said. “Autumn can be nice, too.”

That autumn was mild but wet. On dry days Anna still went for walks, alone or with her husband, but on damp ones he worked in his office and she found things to do at home. It was such a small house that it was easy to stay on top of the housework. Her big project for the autumn was knitting a jumper. Lillian had suggested it - Anna had asked her to teach her how to knit, and was expecting to make a scarf, but Lillian insisted that was boring and that a jumper on big needles would be more fun and not take much longer. They’d made a trip together to the wool shop in town and Anna had chosen soft thick yarn in a mustard yellow. She had to redo the back three times and it came out huge and with one sleeve longer than the other but she loved it and wore it constantly. 

She offered to make one for Kristoff but he insisted she not go to the trouble.

She was wearing it one day when he came into the living room and found her scowling at her phone.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing - well - John Foster is doing a gig in London next month, and he hardly ever does live shows, and they released the tickets literally two minutes ago and they’re all gone. I mean, I knew it’d be super-popular. But I did want to go. Not with you, obviously. But Rebecca is a fan as well. Oh, well. Never mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kristoff went up to London the next day and got back late; Anna woke when he got into the bed and snuggled up against him, then when she woke in the morning he was already up and out of the bedroom. But when she turned over and put her arm across his pillow, she found something pointy. An envelope. And inside were two tickets to the John Foster gig, paper-clipped together and with a post-it note saying ‘K. Bjorgman’ stuck to them.

“Someone I know helped me out,” was all he would say when she thanked him. “Just please don’t make me go with you.”

-----

Winter was drier and colder. Anna was dreading having to invite Elsa for Christmas - she couldn’t leave her alone, at Christmas - and then got a short text message in mid-December from Elsa telling Anna that she would be visiting a friend over the festive period so would be unable to receive guests. Lillian invited Anna and Kristoff for Christmas dinner, instead, and it was so lovely and cosy that Anna didn’t miss her sister at all.

One day in January it snowed and Anna made a row of snowmen in the orchard. They lasted, melting stumps, long after the rest of the snow had gone, and Anna couldn’t bear to break them down but still hated to see them disappear. “For everything there is a season,” Kristoff said.

He was her best friend. She didn’t think she’d ever had one before. She could say anything to him, and she got the impression he told her things he’d never told anyone else. They were so comfortable together. Anna thought, sometimes, about all the travelling she’d imagined she would do; but why would she want to be anywhere but in front of the fire, reading or chatting or drinking tea, with her favourite person in the world?

He was still free with his hugs, even if he didn’t seem interested in anything else physical. And even without central heating, Anna was never cold at night - Kristoff was like a radiator, and in his sleep he would wrap his arms around her and she would snuggle up close. Anna had never been too fond of winter before, but this one was very bearable. Sometimes, if she woke in the night, she would even deliberately lie there awake for a while, just enjoying how warm and cosy and content she felt.

-----

And then it was spring. And it was Anna’s birthday again.

She’d known, somehow, that she’d see it. She’d always counted on having her full year, even if that would have seemed foolish to say out loud. She told Kristoff she didn’t want any fuss, but he insisted that they at least go for a picnic; so she wore her red dress and brought the sparkly shoes, although she wore trainers to walk to the picnic spot. 

Afterwards, though, she kept the heels on. What did it matter if the mud ruined them? She managed to get over a stile without help, and they were only half a mile away from home when it happened.

Their route took them along the side of a country road, and it crossed the railway line at a level crossing. The lights and alarms were going when they got to it, but the barrier was only just starting to go down, so Kristoff ducked under it and strode across the track. Anna scurried after him  - while mentally tutting at him for not waiting - and nearly wrenched her ankle when her heel got caught in the rail.

“Kristoff!” she called, at first just to let him know that he was leaving her behind. But then she still couldn’t free her foot.

The barriers were all the way down now. Anna put both hands on her ankle and tugged but the heel was caught fast. Then Kristoff was there, and he was trying to turn her foot to free it - Anna was seized with a blinding panic and tried to push him away, the train must be coming - but he wouldn’t go, and her heart was beating so fast that she was certain she was going to die right here one way or another. “Go, go!” she shouted at him - and looked up, and saw the train in the distance.

She couldn’t move. Just for one second, everything froze - and then Kristoff had pushed the strap of her shoe over the heel of her foot and he was pulling her, almost lifting her bodily off the track and into the hedgerow on the other side of the crossing.

The train thundered past, horn blaring. The noise and the wheels were so close and they went on forever, then suddenly stopped.

The road was silent. The birds started singing again. Kristoff stood, and put out his hand to pull Anna to her feet; there was a fallen log lying by the side of the road, and they sat on it.

“Are you alright?” Kristoff said after a couple of minutes.

“Yes.” And oh - how she wished she could have given him a different answer. A shock would kill her, the doctor had said. What could be a bigger shock than what had just happened? But her heartbeat was slowing to normal; she felt a little shaky, but no more than anyone else would, after all that. How could that be? 

“Sure?”

“Yes. Are you -”

“I’m fine.” Kristoff stood and picked up his rucksack from where he’d dropped it, and took out Anna’s trainers. She put them on and handed him the single remaining shoe, the other so pulverised by the train that no sign of it remained. He put the shoe in the rucksack, put it back on his shoulders, and, without a word, turned and walked towards home.

When they got there he shut himself in his office and didn’t come out until after Anna was asleep.

[fbwzoo]

I'm making very loose plans for redoing the beach rock wall while the tank is all torn apart. It'll depend on what all I find while digging, and if I burn out too quickly from dealing with substrate & doing the definite modifications I want done.

But the crabs don't use the rock wall area a whole lot, and I'd like to make it less bulky & more usable. I learned a lot while making it last time & have some new ideas to try.

I'm still planning to do the base as a foam panel like last time, for insulation & sturdiness. On top of that, I'll layer cut pieces of foam to make rock faces and slabs.

I want to try caves again, but I think I'm going to try doing spray foam without the plastic bases i did last time (building caves off some plastic containers). That should give them thinner walls & more space inside for crabs to actually go in them - the "caves" I have now don't have enough depth for crabs to even sit on the ledges. If I have space, I want to do two caves on the back wall and one on the side wall.

I'll probably reuse the corner shelf I made last time and just modify it some. I also want to add a shelf that comes out a couple inches and curves up to make kind of a cupped shelf - like those cat window things? To provide a spot for them to perch or prop their shell in for a nap. Possibly also a good spot for foraging things.

To make the whole thing much lighter weight, I'm getting black silicone and sand & will cover most of the walls in sand instead of totally rocks. Then add in spaced out rocks that can serve as climbing holds for the crabs.

I'm also planning to move the UVB light strip to the front of the tank (and figure out how to run the cord then...) so they aren't so close to it while on the rock wall. The crossed out box was because I was hoping to add a halogen light for more realistic heating, but I can't afford the full set up for it right now, I'm not sure if it'll be too hot to use at all, and best case scenario is setting it all up to wait until I can afford a good thermostat for it.... so it's probably more realistic to just wait and try that idea another time rather than spend the extra money right now.

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Farewell to 93 legends we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Steve Martin holds a green pepper on the NYC set of Only Murders in the Building, Derek Hough is light on his feet at the MTV Movie & TV Awards 

Page 3: Julia Roberts looks scary skinny during a solo stroll in Hawaii, Chris Pratt hoists a hoverboard during an L.A. workout 

Page 4: Troubled twosome Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are hoping to put their year from hell behind them by renewing their vows over the holidays in a desperate big to keep their love alive -- Ellen wants to prove her long-suffering wife comes first ahead of Ellen’s daytime talk show and her many celebrity friends and is going all out to show it -- penny-pincher Ellen opened her wallet as wide as her heart telling Portia she could spend whatever she wants on clothes, food, drinks, music and invite whoever she wants at the New Year’s vow ceremony on a Santa Barbara beach

Page 5: Obsessive Blake Shelton is so stressed over his upcoming wedding to Gwen Stefani he’s turning into the Groomzilla from hell -- he is sparing no expense and shelling out millions to redo his Oklahoma ranch to impress the couple’s Tinseltown friends but the mountain of stuff still to be done is driving him around the bend even though no one’s putting pressure on him but he’s obsessed with the wedding details and driving his staff crazy with his constant orders and revisions -- he’s building a chapel on the ranch and a lighted boat for a romantic wedding cruise on the lake and picking the style of the canopy for the banquet floor and re-landscaping the grounds and adding a color-themed garden

* Kenya Moore of Real Housewives of Atlanta reveals she went on a date with Kanye West but bolted when she caught him watching inappropriate flicks -- she described the outing with Kanye as a disaster date and they ended up going to his house where he left her alone, wandering around and when she followed the noises he was watching something on TV that he probably shouldn’t have been and that was her exit 

Page 6: Matthew Perry was such a slave to his addiction his former galpal Kayti Edwards says he’d send her to score drugs while she was pregnant and Matthew insisted she was the perfect drug mule because he believed cops wouldn’t stop a gal in her condition Kayti claims in a shocking tell-all about her 2011 romance with Matthew -- she says his ravenous cravings for cocaine and heroin were so out of control that he once superglued his hands to his legs and he took up to 80 Vicodin pills daily -- Kayti claims she was trying to protect Matthew because she feared he’d end up wandering around the streets and being nabbed by cops or snapped by photogs but she was also getting paid big bucks like $3000 to $4000 a day 

Page 7: Duchess Camilla’s taste for an early morning tipple has rubbed off on husband Prince Charles who is now so hooked on the sauce he starts the day guzzling a powerful gin martini with breakfast and now Charles’ alarmed staffers and pals are talking about an intervention to remind him not to go down the path that put his second wife in rehab -- Charles’ booze consumption has been off the charts for years but drinking first thing in the morning with his breakfast is a new low -- Charles laughs off suggestions he has a booze issue but one look at his bloodshot face tells the story 

* Now that a COVID-19 vaccine’s been approved in Britain Queen Elizabeth says she’s going to get the shot but wait her turn instead of pulling royal rank but she and husband Prince Philip won’t wait long because at their ages they’re in the second group to get the vaccine which is health care workers and people over 80 

Page 8: Helena Bonham Carter has a world-shakin’ suggestion for gals frustrated by the COVID-19 lockdown: get a vibrator -- she says women shouldn’t worry about snaring a beau during the pandemic but that’s easy for her to say because she’s currently cuddling with toyboy writer Rye Dag Holmboe 

* George Clooney confesses wife Amal Clooney had him shaking in his boots when he popped the question and she didn’t answer -- he asked her out of the blue but instead of squealing yes immediately the brainy lawyer just stood there -- George says he was on his knee for like 20 minutes and finally said he was going to throw his hip out -- Amal finally agreed and the couple have three-year-old twins 

* The nip/tuck freak daughter of Olivia Newton-John is being blasted as a hypocrite for coming out against the new COVID-19 vaccines -- Chloe Lattanzi claims she doesn’t trust doctors or the vaccine but critics note she had no problem shelling out an estimated $550,000 to plastic surgeons for nose jobs, super-sized boobs and ballooned lips 

Page 9: Since his life-threatening health scare game show icon Pat Sajak’s been testy and snapping at contestants and crew members leaving insiders fearing he’s heading for a breakdown -- the once-cheery Wheel of Fortune host is a different man since recovering from emergency surgery for a blocked intestine and is having difficulty coping with the workload -- he just can’t keep up with the pace and he’s pushed to the very limit and can’t seem to function doing this job and it’s all spilling over and manifesting into these ugly outbursts which are shocking viewers -- he even glares at long-time help-mate Vanna White when he gets frustrated or forgetful and she is really too nice to complain about it but she’s definitely been taken aback by his behavior 

Page 10: Proof UFOs are real -- new photos taken by Navy jets reveal we are not alone 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- WWE legend Ric Flair (picture), Real Housewives of Orange County’s Braunwyn Windham-Burke maintains she’s not attracted to men despite renewing her wedding vows with her husband of over two decades -- she says she is gay but she loves husband Sean Burke and they plan on staying married although they don’t sleep in the same bedroom and they are raising their kids together but he knows the girl she’s dating and he’s been given the thumbs-up to date too, Liam Payne believes he’s being haunted by spooks -- convinced spooky spirits were inhabiting his West London digs Liam moved but spooks popped up at the new pad and he thinks the new house is even more haunted than the old one, George Clooney handpicked an even better looking doppelganger to play his younger self in his new flick The Midnight Sky who is screen legend Gregory Peck’s grandson Ethan Peck -- George said it was tricky because people know what he looked like when he was 35 years old but he rejected the high-tech gizmos used to weirdly reverse Robert De Niro’s age in The Irishman but he did mix his voice with Ethan’s since his voice is pretty recognizable, Matthew McConaughey’s kids Levi and Vida used their phones to photograph him for his latest magazine covers because of quarantine they couldn’t do normal photoshoots so the kids became the photographers 

Page 13: Tom Arnold dines out in Rome (picture), Aubrey O’Day (picture), Brooke Burke in Mexico (picture), pregnant Meghan Trainor was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and she’s healthy and her baby boy is healthy but she has to really pay attention to everything she eats 

Page 14: Luke Evans denies hiding in the closet to advance his Hollywood career saying it was the last thing he had because everything else he’d given to the world and adding that he left home at 16 because he was gay and went into the world as a kid because he had to, Mindy Kaling managed to keep two pregnancies under cover and kept the kids’ middle names under wraps until now -- a fan wondered why Mindy who is of a Indian heritage gave her kids Caucasian names but their names are Katherine Swati and Spencer Avu 

* Fashion Verdict -- Blanca Suarez 3/10, Olivia Palermo 1/10, Nicky Hilton 9/10, Bella Heathcote 2/10, Catt Sadler 8/10 

Page 16: True Crime 

Page 17: Martha Stewart confesses her painful divorce in 1990 was a terrible thing and she hasn’t talked to ex-husband Andrew Stewart since but she bounced back from the pain and her infamous prison stint because she’s very strong and motivated to get on with life -- still Martha admits being dumped by her husband for another woman after 29 years of marriage nearly did her in -- Martha also reveals serving five months in West Virginia in 2004 on a federal insider stock trading rap was a struggle but she got through it by working on her arts and crafts 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Don Lemon 

* Dolly Parton pulled no punches when discussing her longtime romance with Carl Dean dishing she and her husband have been together for 57 years and married for 54 and she’s sick of him and she’s sure he’s sick of her -- the couple have rarely been seen in public together and she says their marriage succeeds because she stays gone and they’re not in each other’s faces all the time 

* Miley Cyrus says she’s mastered the art of staying safe during lockdown love and it’s by having online sex -- she said the safest sex in these COVID-crazy times is the virtual kind and that’s where Miley has been hooking up

Page 21: Cover Story -- Thanks for the Memories -- tribute to the stars we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 22: Alex Trebek 

Page 23: Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna, Kelly Preston 

Page 24: Kirk Douglas, Sean Connery 

Page 25: Olivia de Havilland, Chadwick Boseman 

Page 26: Robert Conrad, Naya Rivera 

Page 27: Regis Philbin 

Page 28: Kenny Rogers, Roy Horn 

Page 29: Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard 

Page 36: Health Report -- eating bread can toast your brain 

Page 38: Ghostbusters icon Dan Aykroyd has turned into a ghoulish recluse who rarely leaves his $25 million Martha’s Vineyard estate where he’s now eerily planning his own funeral -- the bizarre 68-year-old appears perfectly healthy yet he spooks around in his bed clothes muttering about who he wants to officiate at his memorial service and the goodies the chef should serve at the wake -- the curious thing is he appears to be in no danger of dropping dead anytime soon and he’s sturdy as a horse which is surprising given the cigars and the vodka and the big meals he enjoys -- Dan’s wife of 37 years Donna Dixon has gotten used to her husband’s ghoulish monologues

* Bob Dylan sold his extensive back catalog of more than 600 songs including Blowin’ in the Wind and Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door to Universal Music in a blockbuster deal topping $300 million 

Page 40: Patrick Stewart confesses he’s been furious all his life and he’s still seeing a shrink to control his rage -- he reveals he’s burned with rage inside since childhood when he witnessed his dad’s violence against his mom and he had to suppress all that anger -- at age 14 he feared he’d explode and kill his headmaster when he caned him and later he worried he’d hurt his two children with first wife Sheila Falconer in a fit of fury and now at age 80 it’s still there so he sees a therapist every week 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- The Weeknd has his nose out of joint because he wasn’t nominated for any Grammys this year and he claims he’s being snubbed because he’ll be starring on the February 7 Super Bowl halftime show a week after the Grammys 

Page 45: Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is a paranoid mess losing her hair and wasting away in federal prison where she’s terrified shadowy forces have marked her for death -- the shrinking British socialite who denies recruiting and grooming underage girls for Epstein’s twisted lust is charged with sex trafficking minors as she rots in Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center awaiting trial next year 

Page 47: Bizarre But True 

[vivalas-vega]

I was tagged by @thesefleshfailures, thanks babe!! 💞💞

I did this on my phone and it was formatted weird there so hopefully it posts okay!

Rules: spell out your url with song titles, answer the quarantine questions, and bold the things that apply - then tag 10 people

B - Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater

R - River, Leon Bridges

O - Only Child, The Raconteurs

O - Out of My League, Fitz & the Tantrums

K - Kryptonite, Three Doors Down

L - La Bamba, Ritchie Valens

Y - You’ve Got the Love, Florence & the Machine

N - New Slang, The Shins

S - Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club, The Beatles

B - Born Under a Bad Sign, Albert King (but the Ricky Duran cover is kind of my favorite)

L - Lover of the Light, Mumford & Sons

U - Under Pressure, Queen & David Bowie

R - Reptilia, The Strokes

B - Blue Veins, The Raconteurs

S - Scotland, The Lumineers

Quarantine Asks:

Where are you isolated?

* Home with my parents!

What are you currently reading or watching?

* Reading ‘The Rural Diaries’ by Hilarie Burton — HIGHLY recommend, even if you think you won’t relate to it I promise you you’ll find something. Incredibly amazing. Watching ‘Dead to Me’ season two! Also super good

If you can go outside what do you like to do outside?

* I’m very lucky where I live, I’m on a big plot of land and have lots of room to roam and I spend most of my time outside when it’s nice. I’ve been reading Rural Diaries outside on my porch swing and it’s been lovely.

Any fascinating concepts you’re learning?

* Not really concepts but I’m learning guitar and Spanish right now!

What acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing?

* Working on lots of writing and plotting out how I want to redo my room!! I’ve been making moodboards and creating build plans for a couple pieces of furniture.

A song that resonates with your state of mind right now?

Te Queiro Olvidar, Vanessa Zamora

Favorite impulsive/‘bad’ coping techniques?

* Idk if it’s really coping but checking my exes(who I’m still kinda friends with) socials somehow makes me feel better (and worse) and scratches an itch. I really shouldn’t but it just happens

Favorite healthy/‘good’ coping techniques?

* Journaling!! I have to get all my thoughts down so I can process them, and I get really out of wack if I skip more than a couple days.

Appearance

i’m over 5′5″. i wear glasses/ contacts. i have blonde hair. i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing. i have one or more piercings. i have at least one tattoo. i have blue/ green eyes. i have dyed or highlighted my hair. i have gotten plastic surgery. i have or had braces. i sunburn easily. i have freckles. i paint my nails. i typically wear makeup. i don’t often smile. i am pleased with how i look. i prefer nike to Adidas. i wear baseball hats backwards.

Hobbies & Talents

i play a sport. i can play an instrument. i am artistic. i know more than one language. i have won a trophy in some sort of competition. i can cook or bake without a recipe. i know how to swim. i enjoy writing. i can do origami. i prefer movies to tv shows. i can execute a perfect somersault. i enjoy singing. i could survive in the wild on my own. i have read a new book series this year. i enjoy spending time with friends. i travel during school or work breaks. i can do a handstand.

Relationships

i am in a relationship. i have been single for over a year . i have a crush. i have a best friend i have known for ten years. my parents are together. i have dated my best friend. i am adopted. my crush has confessed to me. i have a long distance relationship. i am an only child. i give advice to my friends. i have made an online friend. i met up with someone i have met online.

Aesthetics

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell. i have watched the sunrise. i enjoy rainy days. i have slept under the stars. i meditate outside. the sound of chirping calms me. i enjoy the smell of the beach. i know what snow tastes like. i listen to music to fall asleep. i enjoy thunderstorms. i enjoy cloud watching. i have attended a bonfire. i pay close attention to colors. i find mystery in the ocean. i enjoy hiking on nature paths. autumn is my favorite season.

Miscellaneous

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle. i am the mom friend. i live by a certain quote. i like the smell of sharpies. i am (was) involved in extracurricular activities. i enjoy Mexican food. i can drive a stick-shift. i believe in true love. i make up scenarios to fall asleep. i sing in the shower. i wish i lived in a video game. i have a canopy above my bed. i am multiracial. i am a redhead. i own at least three dogs.

Olly tagged the people I would have, so if you see this and wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!!!

[bending-sickle]

motherfuckers be like “oh just enjoy doing the craft it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t come out perfect” and i’m like “karen, it’s clothes i want to wear. in public. and feel good in. i have Standards.”

so do y’all want to hear about Ye Saga of how i have failed to make a dress? that i started in may of last year? and have put in i think over 50 hours? unless it’s 80. (i had to redo another dress last year because again, fuckery, and my sewing log gets confusing.)

so literally every step of this has been discouraging and has had to be done at least twice and every time the potential end result just keeps getting worse and worse.

we start off with the cloth. it’s polyester and therefore shit. double-shit because it’s for a summer dress and i might as well wrap myself in seran wrap. The pattern is floral but not quite enchanting but i buy it anyway because it’s a shitload of cloth and only 3 euros because it’s from the scrap heap.

and then i try to make a pattern for it, frankensteining two or three different historical options for which i only have the vaguest of “this is kinda what the pieces looked like. good luck scaling it up to anything usuable.” so there was a lot of drafting, redrafting, measuring, re-redrafting.

then there were the mock-ups to test out the pattern. so many mock ups. so many oh god. pins everywhere. all the contortionism to try and pin the cloth and not myself. more sewing. trying to scavange cloth bits to try and make yet another tester. it was hell.

then i went on to the lining, because even though the cloth was literally plastic, it was slightly see-through and idk, fancy clothes have lining, right? so i piece together the lining from my mom’s old pants’ lining. i sew it up all nice with great seams. let’s leave that tragedy waiting because then

then i started on the bodice of the dress. and i really wanted to put piping in between the seams so you could actually see all the nice piecing - especially in the back - that i had worked so hard on. i was super excited because i had ribbon just the perfect shade and it would be so, so very pretty. i sew up so much piping. (this is cord wrapped in rippon, like you can find on pillow edgins and stuff.) i sew the dress top, putting in the piping. the piping decides to be the boss and fuck up every curve. there is no using the piping and still having a dress that won’t stand up by itself and prance around like madonna’s bullet bra. the piping has to go. this makes the dress not as cool as i’d been hoping. in fact, the main point of all the effort in the pattern design has just gone out the window because you can’t see the nice shapes i’ve made with each piece. but whatever. it fits. so i resew the bodice.

bodice is looking good. i attach the lining, which, i mean “attach” is such a short word for all the sewing, pinning, more sewing, cutting, and fussing that happened. but i get it done. half of the dress is now done.

but no. remember the tragedy we left hanging with no period after the senence up there, a couple paragraphs back? yeah.

you can see the lining seams through the dress. which. not good. so i redo the lining. and i mean i just could have redone the gone that went down the center front, now that i think of it, and just accepted the blazing white lines of seams under the dress in the other parts, but no, i wanted things done right.

but i couldn’t do things right because i’d done them perfect before. meaning opening up the seams meant i now had much less seam space to work with, meaning OH HAI THE LINING CLOTH IS JUST GOING TO RIP APART BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO LITTLE TO WORK WITH OH MY BAD. so i do a shitty job of the lining.

whatever. the skirt

i gather up the skirt so it has nice little scrunchy bits at the waist. i redo this long, ong process at least three times.

i put the skirt together with the bodice. i also do this attempt so many times. eight months later, i’ll realize i did it wrong and could have avoided so many hours of work and headache but no. no, i put it on the way i did, because fuck my life right now.

but we’re not done with the lining.

i try and put it in with the skirt. won’t work won’t fit. redo it a few times. the cloth starts screaming and dissolving. i try and save the edges even though theyre now hideous. i end up just sewing little anchor lines to the lining, making it officially the most ugly lining in the history of any atempts.

this next step is what made me give up for half a year, because there’s the hem. and remember how i fucked up putting in the skirt? yeah. so the waist of the dress isn’t a straight line, making the hem...not a straight line, if i just take a ruler from the bottom and say “yeah let’s lop off some 50 cms and it’ll be level and good” then the bottom of the skirt is going to be a droopy, wavy mess, waving in shame at all other dresses.

so i fold, pin, hand-sew, re-fold, re-pin, re-resew the goddamned hem again, so many times, trying to just get the damned bottomg of the skirt level, at whatever length. i sort of managed.

then i gave up for half a year, meaning that summer dress was not seeing  peek of that year’s summer.

so i took my gonads in both hands this week and tried again with the skirt and that’s when i realized how difficult i’d made everything for myself because there was all that folding, pinning, sewing fun factory again, in triplicate. but i managed to get the hem to the length i wanted and i tried it on.

and the lining tore. just shredded itself to little pieces like the little fucker it was.

which means that after sewing that thing up twice, sewing it down twice - or was it thrice - i had to take the scissors to it and chop it off. chop, i say, because i was not going to unsew all the bodice bits. there were SLEEVES involved.

speaking of sleeves while i was cutting off the lining with all the care in the world i ended up cutting a little hole in one of the sleeves. because fuck everything. and since this is polyester shit, i couldn’t sew the hle up because the edges kept fraying like they were trying to become one with the dust bunnies. so i tried sewing it up like it was a buttng hole or something only apparently my fingers and eyes and skills and everything were in another room because wow it ugly.

so that was a great achievement in the unfucking of this dress fiasco.

so now i had a dress with no lining except the little shreds of shame along the edge of the bodice and a wonky hem.and the bodice was all floaty in the wrong places because it didn’t have the support of the lining helping it out and it’s, again, poly-fucking-ester.

today i did yet more of the same shit i’d done yesterday and got the hem as leastwonky as possible. i then asked my mom to help un-wonkify the hem. as i stood in front of the mirror with the bodice flopping everywhere, the lines of the pices i cut out lost in the sauce of the pattern, the scrunched up waist of the skirt not really giving nice folds but only one big belly balloon, and overall the general image of the dress being “...goddamn fuck no shit god i feel so ugly all that work and it makes me feel ugly” i thought...well, all that, and also how many hours i’d invested into this and how i might just not even wear it after all.

and then i was ironing it and thinking “maybe if i cannibalise it and make it into a skirt only and redo the bodice using the cloth on top of another one like a new lining or just a white cotton, and make it an outfit...”

but that would mean redoing this dress a third time. which, no.

also? i bought two types of ribbon thiking i could still do the piping effect on the seams, make the dress have a little oomf, but it’s just so much work already for such an ugly thing that will make me sweat like a beached whale in summer and be worn like, twice, that just... god, set the damned thing on fire maybe. what is the point.

also? since i’m the one making it, the labour is free, and idiots on the internet would be like “oh, so the cloth was 3 euros? so  it’s a 3 euro dress? cheap! noice! who cares if it isn’t perfect?” and i’ll be like... me and my 50 hours of manual labour say it isn’t 3 euros worth, karen.

so i am incredibly discouraged and disappointed and if this whole experience doesn’t sum up my entire life. like, put in the work. do it perfect. do it again. do everything right and then it’ll all amount to nothing. congratualtions, you’ve just wasted half of your life.

i mean...

dress ugly. me tired. fuck everything.

so yeah i’m going to sew the hem up one of these days and call it quits.

[ultrajaphunter]

Reproduce the British army with a relaxed atmosphere on the transport ship LCT heading to Sword Beach after suppression. 

LCT is a full scratch with a plastic plate.

British landing diorama at Sword Beach, Normandy.

 This is exactly the scene where the bridgehead is being secured. 

This is also a work more than 10 years ago, but the waves have been completely renewed this time, such as adding resin and redoing Shiranami. British infantry was also added. #ノルマンディジオラマ

Kugimiya https://twitter.com/AFVmodeler @AFVmodeler I'm an engineer in Kobe. On weekends, he focuses on youth baseball coaching and modeling. An example is occasionally published in the model magazine Armor Modeling. I also love paintings, movies, designs (especially furniture), history books.