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trashyswitch · 1 year

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Madness In the Rage Cage

Mario rents out a Rage Room in downtown Brooklyn, so he, Luigi and Peach can destroy anything they want to. Though nervous, Peach and Luigi attempt to try out this 'rage room' activity, and end up getting even more invested than Mario ever anticipated.

Totally didn't spend from 8pm till 12:30am writing this fanfiction...Tooootally not me! But in all seriousness, I was so inspired, I just HAD to write a fanfiction on this! I couldn't NOT do this! That was just not an option! And honestly, I was having so much fun writing this fanfic, that I didn't even think tickling was needed! So...this will be the second normal fanfiction that I've written on this account.

This fanfic was greatly inspired by both Game Grumps' video on rage rooms from 2 months ago, as well as Unus Annus's old Rage Room video. Memento Mori, and I hope you all enjoy!

Luigi put on the orange helmet and tightened it up. “I feel like a wrecking crew member.” Luigi admitted.

Mario laughed as he helped Luigi tighten it a slight bit more. “We kind of are, in a way.” Mario replied.

“So…What’s the point of this ‘rage cage’ place?” Peach asked.

Mario chuckled. “It’s supposed to be a place where you can release all your anger in a safe environment.” Mario told her.

“Huh…” Peach looked at Luigi. “And you wanted to do this?” Peach asked.

“Eeeh…” Luigi zipped up the white onesie cover. “Mario insisted I try it out.” Luigi told him.

“Because I know you’re gonna enjoy it.” Mario told him.

“And I couldn’t bring power ups because…” Peach asked.

“Because it could be considered cheating.” Mario admitted, before knocking on Luigi’s helmet to tell him it’s ready.

Luigi put the face shield over his helmet. ��Plus, we don’t know if something we hit is going to ricochet and hit us back, or make us bounce back into the wall.” Luigi added.

Peach nodded as she zipped up the white, baggy onesie for the room. “Alright.” Peach said. “But still…This had to be expensive.” Peach admitted.

Mario shook his head. “Don’t worry. We covered the costs.” Mario told her. “We’ve been saving up for a fun activity like this for a while now.” Mario added. “And considering how much we had saved, this is nothing.” Mario finished.

Luigi chuckled and put the face shield onto Mario. “There.” Luigi said. “No going home with glass in your eyes.” Luigi let him know.

“Thanks!” Mario said, chuckling at Luigi’s words. “You two ready?” He asked Luigi and Peach.

Peach put on her face shield and smiled. “I think so.” Peach replied. “But how much time do we have to smash?” Peach asked.

Luigi smiled. “An hour.” Luigi replied.

“...That’s it?” Peach reacted.

Mario laughed. “The sessions were in 30 minute intervals. And considering there were three of us, I figured 30 minutes wouldn’t be enough time.” Mario admitted. “An hour will feel a lot longer than it is. I promise.” Mario finished.

Mario led the way, heading out of the locker rooms and walking to the room they would be smashing things in. After the employee explained the ground rules of the rage cage, they were sent in for the session. “The first 30 minutes starts…NOW.” The person clicked the timer before closing the door.

Peach took a quick scan of the stuff that were in the room. There were several plates and glasses on the side table. There were also several different types of electronics on the ground and on black tables in the room. There were even a bunch of weapons leaning against the one wall.

“Whoa…” Peach muttered.

“Hey Mario!” Luigi said, picking up the baseball bat and gently throwing it vertically to Mario. “Batter up!” Luigi added.

Mario grabbed the bat midair, and drew it back behind him. Luigi threw a plate over at his brother, and watched as Mario swung at the plate, smashing it to tiny pieces. “WOOOO!” Mario cheered, raising the baseball bat in the air with both his hands.

“Nice one!” Luigi reacted.

Peach walked up to the wall, which had several weapons hung up against it by nails on the wall. She wasn’t sure which one to choose at first…but then the sledgehammer caught her eye. She picked it up, and held it with both her hands with shock. “What is THIS?!” Peach asked with a big smile on her face.

“It’s a sledgehammer.” Mario told her. “It’s like a hammer, but with a really long handle. You use two hands with it.” Mario added.

Peach looked around at the items, unsure what to hit. “Hmm…” She mumbled. She looked at the boxy black thing that was on the ground, and knocked on the top of it with her knuckles. “What is this?” She asked.

Mario smirked. “It’s a printer.” Mario told him.

Peach drew back the sledgehammer.

“Hold on!” Luigi yelled.

Peach froze, before putting down the sledgehammer. “Yeah?” She asked.

Luigi picked up the printer and put it on the table. He backed up, and smiled a bit. “I figured you wanted it higher up.” Luigi admitted.

Peach nodded. “Thank you.” She replied with an innocent smile. And within a second, her innocent smile snapped into a face full of rage as she let out a war cry and absolutely unloaded the sledgehammer into the top of the printer!

Mario shielded his face with his hand, backing up a bit. “HOLY-”

“RAAAAAH!” Peach smashed the sledgehammer into the top of the printer again! “COME ON!” Peach shouted, slamming the sledgehammer into the printer one more time and causing a huge dent in the middle top part of the printer.

Luigi looked at Mario with growing fear on his face.

Mario chuckled at Luigi’s face. “What? Are you picturing yourself as the printer?” Mario asked.

Luigi bit his lip. If he wasn’t picturing it before, he certainly was now.

A couple seconds later, Peach put down the sledgehammer somewhat gently before picking up the printer and throwing it against the wall! The printer busted against the wall, bouncing around before skidding across the floor.

Then, Peach turned around, put her hands on her hips and smiled brightly, and almost innocently at the boys. “This is fun!” Peach reacted.

Mario smiled with shock and amusement on his face. “Alright. Note to self: Don’t piss off the princess.” Mario joked.

Peach tilted her head. “You didn’t know that before?” Peach teased.

Mario put his hands up in arrest before handing Luigi the baseball bat. “Time to see what you’re made of, Lu.” Mario told him, grabbing a plate.

Luigi looked at the bat, and tapped it on the ground. “Are you sure about this?” Luigi asked, a little nervous.

“You’ll be fine! It’s just like little league baseball…just with a large plate, instead of a tiny ball. Swing the bat when the plate gets close enough.” Mario told him.

Luigi nodded and drew back the bat. When Mario threw the plate, Luigi swung at it, breaking the plate with the baseball bat midair and making glass shards explode within a 360 degree radius! Luigi flinched and covered his head instinctively, while Mario laughed. “Wow! I see you’ve kept up your batting skills.” Mario reacted.

Luigi looked at Mario with a smile, mixed with slight nervousness. “That was…nerve-wracking.” Luigi admitted. He held out his hand with a chuckle. “I’m shaking.” Luigi showed him with a giggle.

“That’s good! That means the adrenaline is kicking in.” Mario told him. “And remember, you’re wearing safety equipment. You’re not gonna get hurt.” Mario told him.

Luigi bit his lip, unsure. “I don’t know…” Luigi admitted.

Mario picked up another plate. “Just give it another shot.” Mario offered, holding up the blue plate.

Luigi let out a long breath before he hit the bat against his heels like a traditional batter.

“Come on, Luigi!” Peach cheered. “You can do it!”

Luigi chuckled a bit as he drew his bat back again and focused on the plate. When Mario threw the plate to him, Luigi squeezed his eyes shut and swung the bat. The bat destroyed the plate midair, breaking the plate into bigger-sized chunks. The bat also happened to knock the plate into the wall, where it smashed into even more tiny pieces!

Luigi gasped. “WHOHOHOOA!” Luigi shouted.

“WOOHOOOOO!” Peach cheered, clapping her hands with pride.

“Now how was that?!” Mario asked. “Was that better?!”

Luigi looked at Mario with the biggest, most energetic smile on his face. “That was AWESOME!” Luigi shouted, jumping up and throwing his fist into the air.

Mario laughed and patted Luigi’s shoulder. “I knew you’d enjoy it.” Mario replied.

Peach looked at the other weapons, and grabbed a golf club. “I didn’t know a golf club counted as a weapon.” Peach admitted.

“Wanna try it out?” Mario asked.

Peach nodded and looked around at the other things that were in the room. She looked at the computer screen, and smirked. She drew the golf club back like a baseball bat. “FOOOORE!” She smashed the computer screen, causing a huge crack in the screen.

Luigi chuckled and picked up a large wrench off the wall. “Hey Mario…” Luigi said with a big smirk.

Mario gasped and took the wrench from Luigi’s hands. When Luigi backed up, Mario swung it around a bit, and wiped away a slight bit of dust from the wrench. “Oh HECK YES!” Mario yelled. He turned around and looked at the unplugged clock that was on the groundnearby. “Hey! Don’t like what time it is?” Mario asked, picking up the clock. He threw the clock in the air, readied his wrench and demolished the digital clock midair. “TIME IS AN ILLUSION!” Mario shouted, before crumbling into laughter.

Peach bursted out in hysterical laughter.

Mario picked up a big beer bottle. “Tired of your uncle drinking too much beer?!” Mario asked. He threw it against the wall, making it smash into tiny bits. “GO TO REHAB!” Mario shouted.

Luigi wheezed and doubled over, laughing his head off. Then, he looked over at a small flip phone that was on the table. He picked it up. “Tired of those awful telemarketers?!” Luigi asked, before throwing it up and blasting his baseball bat into the flip phone. “GET A REAL JOB!” Luigi shouted.

Mario wheezed and cackled super loudly. “Ohoho myhy gohohod! Buhut telemarketing IS a real job!” Mario reacted.

“Not in my book.” Luigi shot back.

Mario looked over at Peach with a smirk. “Does anything ever piss you off?” Mario asked.

Peach smirked and picked up the sledgehammer again. “You ever feel proud of yourself because you’re in first place in a race? Only to get hit by a blue shell and knocked completely off the track?” Peach asked before drawing the sledgehammer back. “And then you just wanna go-” She smashed the sledgehammer into the top of an old-fashioned stereo. “AAAAAAAUGH!” Peach smashed the stereo one more time, for good measure. “DAMMIT!” Peach screamed as loud as he possibly could.

Mario fell over and absolutely HOWLED with newfound laughter! “OHOHO MY GOD YEEEHEHEHESS!” Mario cackled.

Luigi watched with growing fear on his face once again…accompanied by a nervous smile. “Wow…” was all Luigi could say at that point.

“Okay. New challenge:” Mario picked up a couple plates. “What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard?” Mario asked before handing them the plates. “Say the stupid thing, and then throw the plate.” Mario told Peach and Luigi.

Luigi smirked. “Okay. You go first.” Luigi told Mario.

Mario shrugged his shoulders. “Alright.” He readied himself and cleared his throat. “The earth is flat!” Mario said before smashing the plate against the wall. “IT IS CLEARLY NOT! THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PHOTOS DISPROVING THAT!” Mario shouted afterwards.

Luigi laughed at his words before looking over at Peach. “You go next!” Luigi told her.

Peach smirked. “Let’s rule the world together! Will you marry me?!” Peach threw the plate onto the floor. “I WILL NEVER MARRY YOU, BOWSER!” Peach screamed.

Mario tittered and laughed. “Ohoho gosh! You tell ‘em!” Mario reacted.

Luigi nodded and cleared his throat. “I don’t deserve love.” Luigi threw the plate at the wall. “THAT IS SO UNTRUE, IT SHOULD BE A GOD DAMN CRIME.” Luigi shouted. “YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE WORTHY, AND WHOEVER TELLS YOU OTHERWISE SHOULD DIE ALONE IN A PIT.” Luigi finished.

The room went completely silent. It was so quiet, one could easily hear a pin drop. The only sound you could somewhat hear was Luigi’s heavy breathing. And even THAT was somewhat muffled by the shield. Peach and Mario were staring at Luigi, completely thrown off guard by Luigi’s unusually personal response. Mario stared at Luigi with awe. Everything in him was aching to say something. “I….” Was all that came out of his mouth. Even if Mario wanted to say something…what was he supposed to say?

Luigi turned to look at Mario. “Sorry…was that too personal?” Luigi asked with slight worry on his face.

Mario was taken aback. “No! No no no, it wasn’t. But…” Mario struggled to think. “That was just…not the answer I was expecting from you.” Mario admitted.

Peach looked at Luigi with worry, before placing her gloved hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” Peach asked.

Luigi looked over at Peach, and nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Luigi said back. “Sorry to make it personal.” Luigi apologized.

Mario shook his head. “No. I…think you had the best answer out of all of us.” Mario admitted.

Luigi tilted his head. “Really?”

Mario nodded. “Yeah! There are millions of people who still believe they don’t deserve love. And unfortunately, no matter how much they’re told otherwise, they still believe it.” Mario said.

Luigi nodded. “Yup. I wish I could punch every person that told those people that they didn’t deserve love.” Luigi admitted.

Mario sighed and chuckled dryly. “I know what you’re trying to say, but…” Mario shook his head. “That’s billions of people. And millions of assault charges against you.” Mario reminded him with an awkward laugh.

Luigi chuckled. “Yeah…that’s true.” Luigi muttered.

Mario picked up the baseball bat and handed it to Luigi. “How about we smash something I know has REALLY pissed you off.” Mario offered.

Luigi looked at the bat, before looking at Mario. “What is it?” Luigi asked.

Mario smiled and opened the door. “Be right back.” He told him before leaving.

Luigi looked at Peach with confusion. But Peach looked equally as confused. They had no idea what Mario was going to bring into the room. But…knowing Mario, it was going to be something good. “Hey Luigi?” Peach called, picking up something off the wall and holding it in her hand. “Wanna break something with an iron skillet?” Peach asked, holding the skillet like it was nothing.

Luigi giggled and nodded his head. He hung up the baseball bat before grabbing another skillet that was on the wall. With that in hand, he looked around for something else to smash. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Luigi to find something that was already partly smashed up, but still had more pain to go through: The printer from earlier.

Luigi placed the printer back onto the table, and brought the skillet behind his head. “EAT PAN, PRINTER!” Luigi shouted as he destroyed the printer with the skillet.

Peach cheered and waved her fists in the air. “DESTROY IT!” Peach shouted.

Luigi swung the skillet down. “YAAAAAAH!” Luigi shouted as it made contact with the printer. He drew the skillet back one more time, let out a strong, rage-filled battle cry before completely flattening the rest of the printer with the side of the skillet. Luigi breathed somewhat heavily with a smirk as he dusted off the side of the skillet. “You just got Luigi’d.” He declared proudly.

Peach wheezed and fell over, laughing her heart out. “WOHOHOW! Are there cameras in here?” Peach asked, looking around the room. She smiled brightly as she saw the tiny camera in the top right corner of the room. “Yes! There is!” Peach reacted, pointing to it.

“Oh! I guess there are. Hello!” Luigi reacted, waving to the camera.

“Mario’s gonna want to see your frying pan action on video.” Peach told him. “Do you think we can get that saved on a DVD?” Peach asked.

A little beeping sound filled the room for a moment. “Sure! We can certainly do that! Better yet, we can put it onto a USB key so you can save it on a computer!” The voice of the employee told them through the speaker.

“Awesome!” Peach reacted. “Cause Mario’s gonna regret missing out on seeing that.” Peach mentioned.

Luigi chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah…” Luigi mumbled.

Right on cue, Mario opened the door and closed it behind him. “Okay. I got it.” Mario said. He turned around and went to grab a table, when he noticed that the printer looked even more beat up than it was before. “Wait…” Mario looked at Luigi, who was hanging the skillet back up on the wall. “Did you do this, Luigi?” Mario asked.

Luigi giggled. “Yeah, I did.” Luigi replied.

“Aw man…” Mario reacted.

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll have it on video for you after the hour is up.” The employee told them through the speaker.

Mario smiled brightly. “Can’t wait to see it.” He added as he walked up to the table.

“Also, the typewriter will be added to your bill at the end.” The employee added.

Luigi raised an eyebrow. “Typewriter? What-” Luigi widened his eyes as he saw the big, bulky black typewriter get placed onto the black table by Mario. “YOU DID NOT…” Luigi shouted with a growing grin on his face.

Mario chuckled and swiped his hands free of the dust. “You remember how much those reports and essays pissed you off in high school?” Mario asked. “Especially when you made 1 little mistake, and had to redo the whole thing all over again?” Mario added.

Luigi quickly removed the skillet off the wall again and looked at the typewriter with the most villainous, adrenaline-filled face Mario had ever seen on Luigi.

“Count me down.” Luigi told them enthusiastically.

Mario and Peach looked at each other with slight worry on their faces, before smiling nervously and doing as he said. “3…” Mario said, putting his hand into his pocket.

“2…” Peach said next, growing more excited. “1…” Mario said, clicking ‘record’ on his camera.

“GO!” Peach shouted.

Luigi let out the loudest, strongest, most rage-filled cry he could possibly muster as he threw the skillet down onto the typewriter. The typewriter keys smashed, the ribbon cover fell off, and the whole typewriter actually bounced up a couple inches post-impact.

Mario had to cover his mouth to prevent from screeching with shock and excitement.

And Luigi was far from done! He used every ounce of strength in himself to turn the stupid typewriter into a mess of broken parts.

“AAAAAAAH!”

<SMASH!> “STUPID!-”

<CLANG!>

“PIECE!-”

<CRUSH!>

“-OF CRAP!” Luigi shouted loudly, before unloading one more destructive smash onto the typewriter. The best part about the typewriter was how durable it was…meaning Luigi needed to put a lot of strength and dedication into its destruction.

And boy, did he ever deliver! To the point where Mario was in awe! The man had NEVER, EVER seen Luigi so filled with bumbling rage! This was the type of rage that not even Jack Nicholson was capable of showing on screen! And here was his timid, emotional, younger brother…completely losing his shit against a typewriter with a goddamn iron skillet of all things!

And the skillet wasn’t the only weapon he used. Luigi would switch out weapons occasionally, to get a new type of smash out of the experience. Every hit felt like a new revelation for Mario. Luigi was capable of much more anger than even he himself could ever show! It was INSANE!

Meanwhile, Peach was having the time of her life, just watching Luigi unleash his years-long, pent-up anger! She was screaming, cheering, shouting and jumping around, losing her mind as she watched Luigi destroy this ‘typewriter’ thing.

Several smashes later, and Luigi was dripping with sweat and almost wheezing amidst his heavy breathing. Mario almost felt bad seeing Luigi push himself beyond his limits. So, Mario stopped the recording and put the camera into his pocket, before taking the skillet from Luigi. “Here…” Mario brought Luigi to a chair and took off the shield for a moment. “Cool yourself off.” Mario told him.

“This…” Luigi let out a long breath, before laughing breathlessly. “This was the best idea you have ever come up with.” Luigi told him.

Mario smiled brightly upon hearing that. “Thank you, Luigi.” Mario told him. “Now take a big break. I’m gonna make sure I get some smashing in too.” Mario told him.

Luigi tittered and said something under his breath.

Mario paused for a moment, and turned to look at Luigi. “What did you say?” Mario asked.

Luigi wheezed. “Ihi said ‘that’s what she said’.” Luigi declared.

Mario widened his eyes in shock and guffawed, covering his mouth. “HAHAHA! Ohoho gohohod…Cohohome ohohon, Luigi!” Mario laughed. “Seheriously?!” Mario asked.

“It made you laugh. You know it did.” Luigi reminded him.

Mario sighed and pushed Luigi’s head and helmet away, before walking back to the destruction room. “Okay.” Mario picked up his trusty wrench, and smirked as he looked at the typewriter. “My turn.” Mario declared, before smashing the wrench into the typewriter. Mario would also end up picking up the glass cups that were nearby, and making towers out of them. He would break the glasses a couple at a time with the wrench, before knocking the glass off the table. Break a few glasses, remove glass. Break a few more glasses, remove the glass. And after about 10 minutes, Luigi would join back and start destroying things all over again. Peach would end up putting the skillet to good use too. It ended up being the best ‘vacation’ they could’ve ever asked for. Who the heck needs Cuba, Hawaii or Paris, when you could have printers, glasses and typewriters to smash in your local Rage Cage?!

Oh! And before you go, I wanted to let you know: The Rage Cage is a real place in Brooklyn, where you can smash and destroy things to your heart's desire! It's by appointment only and you can book 30 minute sessions based on how many people you're doing it with, and how much stuff you wanna break. Though this fanfic will not be entirely accurate, it still gives a general jist of what is involved in these rage rooms.

#rage room #breaking things #baseball bat #pipe wrench #badass princess peach #destruction #peach uses a god damn sledgehammer #i'm not even kidding #non-ticklefic #dirty jokes #iron skillet #chaos #slight hurt/comfort

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