#Pick your sensory battles I guess

[archeolatry]

@parts-of-me-unravelling I believe I read or heard in an interview that on tour he can't be bothered with laundry or whatever on tour so he just gets new ones? (I forget if he buys them or if they're on his tour rider. I want to say it's the latter.) So this isn't even flat pressed, it's package-folded.

This struck me because one would think a man who has had the same pants for literally 50 years and wrote a whole screed about the importance of finding the right socks before a tour would have similar foibles about shirts.

Sparks official - July 25 2013: Ron knows that the perfect place for getting snacks to take with to Fuji Rock is 7 Eleven. #sparks #ronmael #fujirock #japan

[faunswallin-blog]

I'd describe freedom as this, "No one telling you how to live your life". That has been my families motto for thousands of years. For generations upon generations, my family has lived life their own way in the one career that makes any kind of sense. We are truckers.

It was once said that in the beginning the first of our line would haul cattle across nation lines in a combustion engine truck. I don't know how hard that was I'd imagine it is exactly like it is today. In the past folks had dilapidated roads, today the vacuum of space has vailuum wakes. Before truckers had to connect to their trailers with air hoses and pig butts, today I use gravtronics and counter lines. Out in the darkness of space I am but one trucker of the billions of people occupying space.

Lights began to strobe as I sat in my copilot chair with my feet up on the control board. I was continually writing my thoughts down to avoid the boredom of being in transit. After a minute of strobe lights an alarm began to sound. Putting down my stylus and pad and placing them in the chairs storage pouch I pushed myself off the panel and hopped up. Sidestepping over to the pilots chair I hit a few buttons as I spoke to myself. "Geez Bertha it's just another vailuum pocket", I slid a black glove onto my right hand, I can feel the wires inlaid pressing against the front and back of my fingers. With a flit of a finger a screen popped up in front of me. A sensory camera outside of my ship put a picture of my nearby surroundings on my hull in front of me.

"The new starships have force field reinforced viewports. I get handed an extremely late model Mack DX. All hull and no way to look outside unless you turn on a camera."

Out in the quadrant of space in front of me I saw an utter minefield of gas pockets. My eyes knitted together as my hand waved and opened wider as I toggled more sensory, kinetic, and ultra-wave cameras to show on my hull. "This isn't supposed to be here Bertha, did you turn left at Albuquerque again?"

The family joke brought a wry smile to my lips. My parents told me about a rabbit from the ancient era that tunneled underground that constantly got lost and would attack hapless hunters. I think my folks called him Roger Rabbit. Anyway, my left hand quickly plotted a course through the minefield before me. As I shifted and changed angles on my cameras, I plotted a route through the thickest portion.

Finally after Bertha approved my calculations she began to pick up speed as my truck dipped, yawed, and maneuvered the quadrant before me. I stayed busy as Bertha flew, the minefield seemed unending. As I flew through it I began to see salvage from other ships and popsicles. People thrown into the vacuum without any protection on as they freeze up and look like icicles floating or rotating in place.

I tried not to look at them as I traveled past. " Where there is trash...yep there it is, my destination." I pointed my chin at the battle in front of me nodding to myself as my hands continued to plot a course.

I guess I should let you know as a trucker I am not very fast. My Mack isn't built for speed it's built for reliability. I have reinforced hulls what little shields I have are usually focused on covering my gravitronic couplers. If that goes then my next paycheck goes. My truck and hauler are about 5 earth American football fields long and a dozen meters wide. My top speed on a wide open space with no obstacles would be the equal to a troop transport for most militaries. Right now there is a battle and one side may not be too happy to see me bringing a haul into their enemies ship.

"Okay Bertha, we came this far let's go the extra distance and get through this." I motioned to open up the throttle. And like a river snake I began to weave my way through the destruction to my destination.

I kept one eye on the battle ahead of me trying to guess each sides tactics. Reading battlefields isn't hard if one side has more ships then another then it's logical they will push forward, so long as it was the ship I was going to that was winning I could slip right in.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case today. I am headed toward a Universe Class military outpost. I don't usually take military contracts however the pay is excellent and Bertha has needs. Attacking them was a rebellion hodge podge of fighters and strapped together rust buckets. From the distance you wouldn't think the rebellion would stand a chance. Except they don't fight fair. Universe Class starships are in charge of logistics and military families. Sure they have firepower the quadrant is a testament to that. Unfortunately the rebellion fighters found the Achilles heel to any Universe Class ship. They put extra shielding over the bases personnel sectors. If you can hit that enough times the Universe Class will be forced to reroute power to protect its people making it more sluggish in response to attacks. Star fighters will be just as agile though orders are delayed to power fluctuations and the rebels have a toe hold.

I watched as I slipped from devastated ship to devastated ship using their massive blown out hulls to hide my slow bulk. The battle was brutal and if Bertha could make a bet I would put my money on the rebellion. But I want to get paid if I didn't deliver then I'd open myself up to all sorts of nastiness. So as any trucker would, I pushed up slowly and recklessly into the battle.

The rebellion fighters were black with splotches of white on their hulls as an effective Camouflage for long range cameras however the Universe Class fighters had their hulls white washed with colorful decals on their sides. I watched the white fighters and saw one fighter who seemed in control whose ship didn't wobble when flying straight. The wobbles comes from shaky hands on the flight stick. Pilot's adrenaline pumps and the brief moments between hails of projectiles some Pilot's shake their hands causing their ships to wobble.

I saw my ticket through the Battlefield. It was a whitewashed ship with a black top hat and two pink ears popping out of the bottom of the hat.

Every time this ship made a pass, I'd fly under him towards my destination. When the magic hat would finish an attack run, he would pull a tight looping barrel roll and jet back towards his carrier, then perform another loop and strafe another area. It was effective sniping, not engaging in a dogfight , but still allowing himself to cover his squadron.

It wasn't an easy approach for me the rebellion saw me first and they sent three fighters my direction.

I mentioned before thar I was slow, I forgot to add I am very agile. Bertha doesn't have a great top speed but I spent a good portion of my spare money on the highest level directional boosters. Attached at every 10 meters Bertha can dodge an astriod field of rock and metal with ease. As the fighters fired their projectiles Bertha rolled to the side boisting herself out of the line of fire as I plotted a course through a burnt out hull of a larger cargo hold floating dead in space.

Being small and long pays off. The fighters moving too fast refused to follow me and decided to wait for me to come out. Unfortunately for them they were in a battle and a sitting ship is a dead ship. When I finally extracted myself from the burnt out hull I saw three new dead fighters with holes in their viewport. If I decided to look closely enough I would be able to see droplets of frozen blood drip from openings.

But that is for rookies. I have a load to deliver. So I did my best to line up my approach based on magic hat was doing. After some strenuous maneuvers and a few too many close calls I managed to hail the UC Freeholt.

"Shipper ID Number" was the only response I got when I hailed her on the open channel.

"Graphite-Niner-Codex-Codex-Quiltex," I replied in my best calm voice. A stray projectile brightened up one of my sensors blinding me briefly. I would be nervous unfortunately I wasn't talking to a person yet, and the computer was analyzing my voice for stress markers.

Finally, a younger feminine voice replied "Welcome to the UC Freeholt. Please follow the lights to our receiving bay. You will exit you ship upon landing and place yourself in a confined area as we scan and unload your cargo hold. Is there anything you want to declare?"

I replied in the negative as I flew through the opened doors.

[cybermoonmoon]

This post from June 26th, 2021.

*Once upon a time.

The feds released that UFO report today. Turns out UFO's or UAP's as the defense department prefers are real. Yeah, ya heard right...real. No, they didn't say saucer guys or folks from planet Mongo. They did say they ain't lens flares swamp gas Chinese drones or assorted fakes. The latter is too bad. As a kid I made a bunch of neat UFO fakes with my Ma's polaroid camera.

They came to this conclusion from the fact that these things have from the beginning been picked up by various means of sensory data. Radar infrared electronic target tracking systems the works. That, and testimony from folks that work in, and watch the skies for a living.

The damned things show up in the controlled air space of military facilities assorted nuclear power plants. They even buzz our Naval Battle Groups at sea,...they seem to like our carriers. So after near 75 years of telling us it ain't bleep, and we should shut up about it. They come 'somewhat' clean. That, and no one cares. Get that hardly anyone. As one of my old engineer pas would have said ".tis shit don't budge the meter."

Also leave it to a government agency to take the fun out of stuff. Sort of like how NASA made Mars boring. Anyway, like I sez if these were normal times this would be a "Stop the presses!!" moment. Explain to your millennial grandkids what presses are.

*I posted this a few years back. As I say in da post folks wouldn't care and they didn't. Whole thing disappeared in a few days. Folks went back to trying to reinstall that insane guy who used to be president watching porn beating up Queers and burning books. I guess everyone was distracted by da Chinese Hoax Covid and its mind control vaccine. Then again maybe them saucer guys might have worked out that free tuition and national health thing. We could use their help with those.

[blackshadowswriter]

Always Here┃Matt Murdock

Summary: Even the Devil got nightmares sometimes. Luckily, you would always be there for him to pick up the pieces. Tysm to @cioemyr for the request! 🖤

Words: 1875

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, dreams about losing a loved one, Matt's Catholic guilt that you have to slap out of him (not literally ofc, boi is traumatized)

AN: Guess who finally sat down and wrote out requests from months ago. I'm sorry it took so long, but it's here now! It is a little shorter than what I usually write, but I had to rewrite this several times, so this is the best I got.

That night, you awoke to a heartbroken plea from the Devil, echoing through the darkness.

When your eyes first shot open, darting around in the dark space of the bedroom, you couldn't remember what had awakened you for a few seconds.

Until Matt twisted in the sheets besides you with a shaken cry of "Foggy!"

You were shooting upright in a heartbeat, scooting closer to Matt's side of the bed and calling his name softly. Usually, you wouldn't have to move too far to find Matt in the bed since he normally spooned you like a giant, Devil-sized koala bear. However, tonight, it seemed that he had writhed away from you, plagued by the tortures of his mind.

This wasn't the first time Matt had been trapped in a nightmare, so you knew what to do. When he was like this, touching his hypersensitive skin was a great way for you to get decked in the face, courtesy of Matt's unfailing but rather violent reflexes, the first of which was to lash out at whoever touched him. It was something you couldn't exactly blame him for, especially when his nightmares usually involved being attacked or losing someone to an attack. This time, you were guessing that said someone was Foggy.

Instead of trying to touch any other part of his twisting body, you gently brought your hands up to his hair, carding through the damp strands slowly, hoping he could sense it was your touch. For a moment, Matt's body locked up at the new sensory detail, his anguished movements stilling to something a little more controlled—twitches running along the broad, muscular plane of his body.

Seeing him calm ever so slightly, you incorporated your voice.

"Matt," you called softly. "It's alright. You're okay."

In the faint illumination of the neon lights, spilling through his windows from that godawful billboard across the street, you could see Matt's face, shining with sweat and something you suspected were tears, contort in agony as his body shuddered again in his nightmare.

"It's just me, Matty," you continued, keeping your voice sweet and soft, knowing you didn't have to speak loud for his sensitive ears to pick up on it. You could only hope your voice was cutting through the fog of his dream-addled mind. "Come on, wake up, honey, you're safe here."

With a gasp, Matt's eyes flew open, and he bolted upright, clawing at the sheets, dark eyes darting around the room as if looking for a nonexistent enemy that he could not see. He tried to stagger out of bed, probably trying to go fight an invisible battle in his boxers.

"Hey, hey, hey, Matt!" you called, reaching out to gently catch his wrist. His head snapped towards you at the touch, but you weren't alarmed. You could never be afraid of Matt, and you knew that his erratic behavior was due to the fact that he usually had trouble orienting himself when waking up, especially from a terrible dream.

You said your name aloud, hoping the familiar word would break Matt out of his haze. "It's me, Matt. You're at home. You're safe. I'm safe. We're both safe, remember?"

Slowly, Matt relaxed in your hand, tension seeping out of his tightly wound form like blood washed away. He whispered your name in a shattered voice that sounded so vulnerable, so broken that your heart ached for him.

"Yeah, I'm here, Matt," you assured him quietly, dropping your hand down from his wrist to lightly entwine in his fingers. He clung to yours as though it were a lifeline in the whirlpool of his drowning mind. His body sagged back down into the bed and fell against you limply, no energy left in him. You caught his heavy weight as best as you could, gently shifting him until he could lay his head against your chest where you knew the sound of your steady heartbeat would comfort him.

"I got you," you murmured, adjusting the two of you so that you said with your back against the headboard and Matt's comforting weight across your front.

He kept his head over your heart for a few moments, breathing deep but shaky breaths before turning his face to bury it in your neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be," you said firmly. "Don't be sorry."

"I woke you up—"

"And I would gladly wake up a hundred times whenever you need me." You ran your hand through his sweat-slick hair, gently scratching that spot near his neck that made him purr. "The same way you wake up for me when I need you."

A shudder ran through his body, and you pretended like you didn't feel the hot, wet tears sliding down your neck for Matt's sake—the man was somehow convince that crying meant bothering you, and it had taken you months to assure him that no, Mathew, crying is normal, and I am very much fine, stop with the Catholic guilt.

"Tell me about it?" you asked softly. "If you want?"

You felt the warm air from his slow exhale skate across your collarbone and waited patiently for him to speak. If he didn't want to talk about what he had dreamt about, you weren't going to push him, the same way he had never pressed you for more details than you wanted to share on your own nightmares. But if he did need to talk, you were going chase out the stupid voice in his head telling him he deserved to suffer in solitude and make sure that Matt knew he could talk to you.

Eventually, Matt seemed to have found his voice. "Foggy," he croaked. "I dreamt about Foggy." He drew in a terse, shaky breath and pressed his face against the soft skin of your neck, taking in your comforting scent for a few moments. "He got—hurt, and it was my fault."

"I'm sure it wasn't—" you started to say, but Matt shook his head firmly, his hand fisting in your shirt.

"It was," he said hoarsely. "I wasn't fast enough—wasn't good enough to save him. They took him, and I couldn't do anything about it."

Silently, you took in his words while your fingers absently stroked the nape of his neck. You didn't bother to ask who "they" was, knowing the many enemies that hounded Matt's subconsciousness. It could have been any one of them, and who it was didn't really matter right now—only that Foggy had been hurt, and Matt blamed himself.

Of course, it was entirely possible that, in his dream, something he had done had either directly or indirectly caused whatever had happened to Foggy. However, it was equally likely that Matt had had nothing to do with it and simply blamed himself like he did with so many other things that were not his fault.

Without knowing exactly what had transpired (and Matt didn't seem too keen to share details), you were fumbling in the dark, unsure of how to reassure Matt.

You settled for the safest option. "It was just a dream," you soothed Matt, brushing your lips over his sweaty forehead. "Foggy is okay."

"I don't know that." Matt stiffened suddenly as if just realizing something. "I don't know that," he repeated, moving to sit up. "God, I need to go check on him—I need to make sure he's okay—"

You shushed Matt gently, tugging him back into your arms. "Foggy is okay," you reiterated quietly. "He sent me a meme about penguins at 2 in the morning, just 30 minutes ago. He's definitely okay," you told him in amusement.

Slowly, Matt sank back into your arms, apparently reassured by his best friend's rather irritating tendency to text you the most irrelevant things in the middle of the night. You resumed the pace of your fingers in his hair, and after a few moments, Matt went so quiet and still that you almost thought he had fallen asleep.

Until he shifted slightly and turned his face up to press a kiss against your jaw. "I love you," he rasped. "I love you so much. Thank you for...for putting up with this—putting up with me. I don't deserve you."

Oh, Matthew. My sweet, wonderful, dear, idiotic boyfriend.

You slid your hand underneath Matt's jaw and tilted his face up towards yours until you could take his tormented expression, face twisted with guilt. Even without hearing him speak a single word more, you could already hear the self-beratement running through his head.

"Matt," you said slowly, "I want you to listen very carefully to me. I know you can do that. So I want you to open those bat ears of yours and listen to me, okay?"

He cocked his head to the side slightly, evidently bewildered, but Matt humored you and nodded, licking his lips slowly.

"I do not put up with you," you said firmly. Matt's brows scrunched together (adorable, your distracted brain input), confusion blooming on his face as you continued. "I put up with my shitty coworker who hits on me every day. I put up with that ridiculously enormous rat that lurks outside your apartment and hisses at me every goddamn morning. I put up with the grumpy old woman who comes in every day to my work with an attitude dating back to 500 B.C."

You paused to watch the slight twitch of amusement on Matt's lips, glad you could cheer him up even that little.

"But," you said in the voice you used to take to your childhood dog when it misbehaved, "I do not put up with you. I take care of you when you need me to, the same way you take care of me when I need you to. Do you know why I do it?"

Matt let out a hoarse laugh. "That's what I've been wondering ever since you came into my life, sweetheart," he murmured in that self-depreciating tone you hated.

"Because I love you, Matthew Michael Murdock," you said sternly, smirking at the way he grimaced at the last part.

You just got middle named, Murdock.

You tilted your head down and kissed him softly, reveling in the way Matt sighed against your lips, practically turning into putty in your arms. "I love you, Matt. And when people love each other, this is what they do. You don't like the fact I get up in the middle of the night for you? Too fucking bad because I'm going to do it anyways. I fucking love you, Matthew, you hear me?"

"I hear you," he murmured. "And I love you too. This has to be the most aggressive declaration of love I've ever heard though."

You kissed him again. "Someone has to knock some sense into that Catholic-guilt-riddled brain of yours."

Matt huffed out a laugh against your lips, bringing his hand up to cup the side of your face. "You do it rather well," he decided. "I love you so much, sweetheart."

Kissing his hair, you nudged Matt and scooted the two of you down into the sheets until you both were more or less back in the same position you had fallen asleep him: Matt curled around you like your Devil-shaped teddy bear.

With a sleepy, content sigh, Matt nuzzled into your neck again, lips brushing over your pulse point gently. "I love you, sweetheart," he whispered again.

"I love you, Matt," you said quietly, reaching your fingers up to stroke his hair. "And I'll always be here for you, I promise."

═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘ ═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘ ════════

AN: I'm on a roll with these Matt fics, the brain juices are finally flowing! I have so much I wanna write now even if it puts me so behind on my homework. Oh well 😬

If you enjoy, please remember to like, comment, and reblog!🖤

My Matt Murdock Masterlist

[darkaviarymc]

Long as post that I won't be replying to comments on or answering asks about. Clowning gets you blocked Mother of Fuck I'm pissed rn:

Text: I said a few years ago I will not comment on politics anymore. I did this for many years, you can see my timeline. I did my bit and more.

When Doccy was born, I decided to no longer fight 1000s of random people on a daily basis online because it affected my health.

Text: I will say one thing: Don't confuse virtue signalling with actually doing something.

Text: What I mean by virtue signaling is, that I think it is wrong to think you are doing a good deed for the cause if you try to put pressure on ccs to make certain statements.

You should imo opinion focus your efforts in sharing links instead of attacking ccs. No?

Tesxt: Also, if you come at me because I see war and humans murdering eachother as the outcome of politics, be ready to be blocked from now on.

What else is it, when humans murder eachother in a genocidal conflict?

It is the outcome of failed politics.

God damn it. I am so angry now.

Text: Ok, last statement to this whole thing now.

I hope that is a reasonable point for you guys. Listen carefully.

What we try to do is to give people a place to have peace of mind.

In a world, that is full of bad things, we see our mission in providing moments of relief. These few minutes a week, where you tune into Hermitcraft, give you a chance to not think about murder, war, problems, pandemics and so on and so on.

This is the main reason, I personally made a few years ago a distinct decision. I will try my best, to keep my feeds "wholesome".

Text: This doesn't mean I don't care or am ignorant to what is going on in the world. In opposite, me trying to provide this place of escape is my way of trying to contribute to the fight for what is right. In a way, providing a place to recharge so you can go and keep on fighting your fight. I cannot fight all your fights with you personally though. You get what I am trying to say? I sit here with tears in my eyes of guilt and frustration because I feel weak because I am not able to lead the charge and all these battles that need to be taken on. I just can't. It is too much to ask for from a cc. It is such a complex topic. There are countless unjust things going on in the world. So many people need a helping hand. How do you pick and choose?

So please, I know you are deeply passionate and hopeful your favorite ccs

Text: Also, on a more funny note: When discussions like this morning happen, I am always literally shocked how dense people think ccs are, lol.

I guess it doesn't look good for the general perception of ccs, haha.

I literally feel some of you assume my IQ must be 20 or so.

Text: Like, I sit in a sensory deprivation chamber not knowing what is happening in the world you know?

So it frustrates me if people for example say: No, I am not dogpilling. I am just trying to educate about the topic xyz that is literally dominating public debate as we speak.

Text: oh my god, you wrote an entire essay to explain why you haven’t been speaking up on the genocide. you’ve been arguing with your supporters all morning because of it. idk you could’ve instead retweeted helpful resources and shared dono links?

Text: Or, you could read the "essay" where I explain my reasoning why it is very difficult for ccs to fulfill your wishes in regards of signal boosting on demand? Come on now. What are we doing here?

I hit image limit, so I'll have to reblog for more.

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ I hate Twitter.

If you're one of the asshats harassing Doc, go away. Block me and never interact with me again.

[snailvibes]

GIVE ME RANDOM HEADCANONS/FACTS ABOUT YOUR AGENTS/SQUIDBEAK SPLATOON IN GENERAL

AAA HELLO YEYSYEYSY OK WOOOOOO

- Three is hyperfixated on plants because her family runs a flower shop and while she enjoys being a professional turfer rn she wants to run it one day

- Four explains the fnaf lore to Craig and he takes notes and makes a timeline and single-handedly figures out the canon timeline way faster compared to matpat

- neo 3 starts to learn salmonid after story mode because they feel like lil buddy is the only other one who knows what they went through and they wanna properly talk to them about it and let her talk to them too

- my neo 3 actually is Agent 5 of the squidbeak splatoon and is referred to as it because my Three had a breakdown over not feeling ready to be captain and shares the responsibilities with Callie and Marie so they’re still technically agent 3. I just call them Neo 3 in posts so people don’t think I’m talking about a complete oc lmao

- Eight has a major sweet tooth it’s part of the reason she bakes so much she’ll devour any candy or pastry she gets her claws on. Pearl encourages this addiction Marina does not lmao

- theyre all autistic everyone in the splatoon

- Four has sensory issues and part of the reason she loves stuffed animals is because she loves the feeling of how soft they are and when she gets overwhelmed she’ll hug whatever one she’s carrying around with her tight against her face.

- Callie is the worst person to watch horror movies with because she just yells at the main character for being stupid the whole time and tries to guess every plot twist

- besides Craig, Marie is the other half of the reason Three’s so good in battle. They both main the charger and Marie used to do sniping practice with Three before and after they knew she was Marie and not just Agent 2. Now that she’s captain they still do sniping practice but Three’s got incredible aim and almost never misses so they just use the time to talk and catch up with each other.

- one of the way Eight stims by humming music and snapping her fingers (claws rlly? My eight has claws lol). When she first got to the surface she mainly blasted off the book’s songs like into the light and fly octo fly on loop and hummed those everywhere but after being on the surface for so long she got into more music and does it with a variety of music lol

- Callie and Marie tried to take Four to wahoo world but she was too short to ride anything but the kiddie rides and they almost left because of how upset Four was till Marie threatened the workers and Callie had to bribe them to let them stay in the park and go on the rides 😭

- you already know this one you literally came up with it with me but I’m including this anyways Cus I love it, since Callie is a big fun reef squid she’s got strong enough tentacles to move them on her own like octolings can, and she primarily uses this to pick up Four and carry her around the house. Also extra limbs to cuddle with <3

- Marie bullies Eight (lovingly) for maining the clash blaster and Eight complains about it to Captain cuttlefish everytime. Three had to explain weapon meta to him so he could understand what the big deal was

- Neo 3 is obsessed with super heroes the zipcaster levels helped them connect with 3 Callie and Marie a lot more and they get way too into it everytime they did one of them

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Do you have any autistic Scout headcanons? :P

Hell yeah!

I’ve actually thought about this a lot. A lot of people might think that Scout has ADHD, but I think he either has both ADHD and autism or just autism.

This is both because labeling Scout as having just ADHD is kind of a low-hanging fruit, and I also want to explore his symptoms a little more. So, in a word, I do, and thank you for asking about them!

*****************

Scout’s Spectrum:

So, where exactly does Scout fall on the autism spectrum?

First of all, he probably has both ADHD and autism, but wasn’t diagnosed with the latter until much later. This means that some of his symptoms were taken into account, but not all.

The ones that were paid attention to ramped up out of control, and the ones he didn’t hear about were stuffed away.

His ADHD symptoms include impulsiveness, need for stimulation, hyperfixations, forgetfulness, and insomnia; his autism symptoms include trouble with social skills, stimming, near inability to remember names and faces, lack of eye contact, hyperfixations again, and sensory processing issues, especially with noise and touch.

He used to have a lot of meltdowns when he was younger, usually about wearing new clothes and the amount of noise his eight brothers generated.

However, he was teased and pushed into masking nearly all the time, and made his whole personality about his ADHD, since that was what everyone accepted.

As he got older, he usually wrote off any autistic tendencies as either his ADHD or just “little habits” of his.

During his middle school years, he used energy drinks to bounce back from being exhausted every day after school. This would work, except those energy drinks would upset his ADHD, and would make it much harder to focus on even basic conversation.

After a while, he got such bad grades and had such a hard time making friends that Scout just stopped going to school altogether.

Baseball helped his focus, and the quick movement and thinking made a lot of sense to him. He never had to wait very long for the next development, and the instant gratification and community it provided supplemented what he never got at school.

With sports on his side, he rarely ever drank any energy drinks (the coach would never let them on the field), and he drank bucketfuls of water during every meet and game. Those teenage years were probably the healthiest he ever was.

However, with the amount of rumbles he got into with his brothers, and the turf wars that constantly raged in those neighborhoods, it was only a matter of time before his crime caught up with him.

After his first incarceration, he was booted from the team, which led to a downward spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms - which included fighting someone tooth and nail whenever he could.

Even if he lost the fight, it not only catered to his impulsive nature and impatience, but also gave him roughly the same sense of friendship and camaraderie that baseball had.

One thing led to another, and by the time Mann Co. found him, Scout was a monster in hand to hand (and bat to bat) and had racked up quite the criminal record.

A perfect mercenary, ripe for the picking.

On The Team:

Scout very quickly adopted the “stupid, scrappy Boston boy” persona.

It was the only thing that made sense, and it kept him from having to try too hard in both the battlefield and socially.

Besides, that meant that he could be as silly, forgetful, and fidgety as he wanted, and no one would bat an eye.

And if he ever needed to take a break from the team, he figured everyone would appreciate the quiet.

The only thing that ever gave him away was him occasionally dissociating right when battle began, especially if the day had been stressful.

It was usually how he calmed down after a fight when he was young, but now he sometimes slid into that state when he was overwhelmed.

However, a yell from one of his teammates would usually snap him out of it.

Medic noticed this pretty early on, and wanted to look more into it, but Scout would keep making excuses not to get a mental examination.

He would blame it on zoning out, being tired, drinking too many Bonks - whatever it took for people to stop asking.

And, eventually, they did.

Even Medic stopped asking after a while - he couldn’t get a thing out of Scout.

This “try so little that when you do try it’s above average” charade worked for a long time. In fact, it went on for so long that Scout forgot how much he was actually capable of.

He began to internalize the stupidity, the exacerbation, the many comments on how dumb he was, everything.

The only time he ever gave his all was on the battlefield - moving fast, memorizing strategies, doing complicated footwork, knowing exactly how much force it took to crush someone’s skull with his bat.

That was one of the only things that he felt good doing, the only thing he could really work on without him being “found out.”

That and drawing, though he never showed the actual pieces to anyone. It was all stick figures and crooked lines with everyone else.

Sometimes, though, Scout wouldn’t be paying attention and he’d let something slip.

One time, Engineer was looking for his screwdriver, and couldn’t seem to find it anywhere.

Scout, not looking up from his comic, said, “Under the couch cushion, hard hat.”

Engineer bent down and reached into the couch, and his hand came back with his red and yellow striped screwdriver.

“Well I’ll be damned…”

At first Engineer thought Scout had just hid it, but Scout explained, still not paying attention:

“Last time we went out on th’ field, you had it on your belt, like always. But I was walkin’ by your workshop, you were usin’ a quarter to tighten a screw or somethin’. Your screwdriver had to be somewhere between the battlefield and your workshop. Engie, you’re like freakin’ clockwork. Every day, after a fight, you go to the kitchen, get a water, go to that couch, between the second and third cushion from the left, and sit there. Then ya go back to the fridge to get lunch and a beer, and ya go to your workshop until somebody needs you for somethin’. Your back loop in your tool belt is looser than all the others, ‘cause the screwdriver pulls against it when you sit down. The shank was probably in between the two cushions, and when you got up, it fell in. Demo, Pyro, and Heavy all sit on the second or third cushion at some point, so it got shimmied down. And since that’s the only time you sat down, ‘cause you woulda heard it if it dropped on the floor, and I…uh…”

“I’ll be damned,” Engie repeated, and felt the back tool belt loop. It was indeed loose.

Scout finally looked up, and realized what had happened.

“Uh, uh - l-lucky guess, huh Engie?”

Engineer squinted behind his goggles. “Yeah…real lucky…”

What ensued was Engie trying to get Scout to turn into a B.L.U Spy by chasing him around with his wrench. After a few good hits, though, Engineer saw that it was the teammate he knew and loved.

“But…how didja…?”

Scout threw his hand up, the other rubbing the back of his head where he’d been hit.

“I toldja Engie! Lucky guess! Jesus!”

Ever since then, Scout chose his words more carefully.

The Breakdown:

But, unfortunately, Scout could not pretend forever.

There was one week where Scout’s assignment count was so high that, if he wasn’t in a fight, he was on a mission.

Usually, Pauling wouldn’t trust him with so much, but no one else was available - or willing - to do the jobs.

Even when she was getting concerned about the amount of hours Scout was putting in, he blew it off.

“It’s no sweat, Miss Pauling! Their practically givin’ me the pay day. Those yahoos don’t know who they’re messin’ with.”

Over time, though, Scout had a harder and harder time staying focused and alert.

He’d sleep through alarms, stare off into space, zone out completely during briefing (not that he didn’t already do that), have a hard time hearing people in battle - even through his headset - ignore Spy’s taunts, and even forget to bring his bat onto the field.

Nothing seemed to help - Bonk!, warming up, stretching, cold showers, setting reminders, nothing.

And the team was starting to notice.

At first it was with the regular frustration - maybe Scout was just being lazy.

But as time went on, and his condition grew worse, their scorn turned into worry. They implored Medic to do something, but he had no way of getting through to Scout.

The doctor wasn’t above simply sedating him and dragging him into his lab for a check-up. However, he had a feeling that this was more than a physical issue.

The worst came when Scout was doing a routine battle with the B.L.U team on the field.

Everything had started out okay - he even remembered to bring his bad this time - but suddenly, everything was ear-splittingly loud.

He couldn’t focus on more than one sound at once, much less communicate the best course of action to his teammates.

He ended up hiding in a dilapidated shed, in a dusty, dark corner, somewhere between zoning out and panicking.

Scout’s head was in his knees, he was shaking, close to crying, when a sudden splitting of wood roused him.

A B.L.U Soldier had kicked his way into the shed, either having heard Scout or to hide from the other team.

Scout was stunned at first, but something of a blind terror filled him. He picked up his bat, screamed, and started pummeling the surprised Soldier.

At some point, he threw aside his bat and began to swing punch after punch, just like he did in his gang days when he had felt overwhelmed. Still screaming. Still crying.

By the time Scout had dissolved into a rocking, sobbing mess, the Soldier was long dead, with a gigantic pool of blood staining Scout’s shoes.

No one even knew where Scout was until a few hours later, when Spy heard a faint note of “Sexbomb” coming from Scout’s Walkman.

Scout had crawled into the shed’s framework, between the outer and inner wall, and was playing a specific verse over and over and over again, looking like he was on another plane of existence.

Spy immediately called for Medic, who had to lift Scout out by the underarms through a jagged hole in the side of the building. By then, the fight was over, so they could take him directly to the lab.

Medic’s Evaluation:

“I’m guessing zhis is your first mental breakdown?”

“Mental…doc, I ain’t crazy. Wait, you’re not goin’ to put me in a straight jacket, are ya?”

“If you’re not doing anyzhing later.”

Medic started to laugh, but quickly realized this might not be the time.

“No, Scout, everyvun has a mental breakdown at least vunce in their lives. It’s a…how do you say…a vake-up call of sorts. Vhen your body has no other options left.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“For zhe past few months, you health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating. You eat less. You talk less. Your attacks are lackluster. You have bags under your eyes. You flinch vhen somevun yells for you. You stare off into space. Your routine, vhich usually has at least some changes, has become stringent, as if you can’t possibly expend any more energy into extra activities. You have avoided Demoman on zhe battlefield, even though you usually use him for cover.”

Medic flipped through his notes.

“I have pages and pages of your decline. However, as a scientist, I believe it is caused by zhe same source. And, though I usually respect my patient’s right to privacy vhen it comes to these sorts of matters, I believe you’ve been keeping something from me. Something that I should know as your general practitioner…your doctor.”

Scout shrugged, already shutting out the conversation.

Medic sighed.

“Maybe I tried to talk to you about zhis too soon. After all, you’ve just had a very sudden and exhausting episode. But…perhaps…”

Medic took a sheet of printer paper from his clipboard and a spare pen from his pocket.

“…zhere is an alternative.”

Scout was still unresponsive, but Medic continued.

“Zhere is a patient in my vaiting room vis a metal pole through the chest. It vill take me at least an hour to properly remove it, and a few minutes more to heal zhe area. Vhile I do zhat, vhy don’t you draw how you feel?”

Medic smiled.

“I know how much it grounds you.”

It wasn’t until Medic left that Scout actually picked up the pen, but he began drawing immediately.

For the first time in a while, he wasn’t trying to hide his strokes or scratch up the cleaner lines. No more stick figures. No more pretending.

Five minutes later, he was fully engrossed.

Medic started to walk in at one point, but, seeing how relaxed Scout was, decided to give him a few more minutes.

He deserved it.

[tommysparker]

Never Forget You [Chapter 4]

A/N: hey y’all. just wanna say sorry for the posting schedule change. life is about to get hella hectic with school and the move sooo yeah. every second Saturday I will be posting! it’ll defiantly give me a chance to write more as well so im not rushing out chapters. anyways ive rambled long enough, enjoy :) 

Warnings: angst. theres fluff too but its fluffy angst?? im not sorry hehe. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks. 

From an outside perspective, one would assume the four of them were deep in thought, perhaps even communicating telepathically via the Force. They would only be half correct, as all of the Jedi were indeed thinking, but none of their trains of thought overlapped.  

Anakin and Ahoska were in the pilot seats, glancing at each other every other minute or so. They could feel the tension build thicker with every passing planet. The only sound filling the room was the faint running of the engine that kept the ship moving. 

You and Obi-Wan sat across from each other, neither one daring to make eye contact. Apparently, he was quite serious about the “not speaking from now on” agreement. It’s for the best, you kept telling yourself. However, the awkward silence that filled the ship made it harder to believe that. 

Out of all the things that could happen to you at the moment, this was by far the worst. 

On Gyfil, you had grown quite used to the sound of silence. In fact, over time you began to prefer it as opposed to the buzz of the towns. However, this was a different type of silence, one that had you bouncing your knee in anticipation for Anakin to announce you finally landed. 

Master Yoda had called you all for a mission briefing. There was a supposed Separatist group meeting on Ostor, given the intel you received from a client on your previous mission. The four of you were sent to listen in on it. 

“Young Skywalker and Padawan Tano, back up you will be. Great risks on Ostor, there are. Careful, you must be.” He turned to Obi-Wan and You. “Master Y/l/n, guide them you must do. In charge of the mission, I am putting you.” 

A sense of pride filled your body but you quickly humbled yourself. “Thank you Master.” 

Master Yoda smiled and turned to Obi-Wan. “Infiltrate the meeting, you and Master Y/l/n will. Stay together, you must.” 

Obi-Wan would have laughed at the irony. Mentally he still is. Stay together, you must. After the last conversation between the two of you, he had doubts about how that plan would go. However, for the sake of the mission he was willing to lift the deal made. 

You stood quietly, not being able to handle the loud silence any longer. “I’ll be in my quarters until we land,” you announced, making a point not to look at Obi-Wan and keep all attention to Anakin and Ahsoka. 

You left without sparing a glance back. 

He waited until you were out of view to let out a long sigh, running a hand over his beard and hunching forward. 

Anakin was the first to speak. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure.” His shoulders shook as he made a disgusted sound. “Glad it’s finally over.” 

“Just focus on getting us there in one piece, Anakin,” Obi-Wan snapped, immediately followed by, “apologizes, I didn’t mean to sound so...aggressive.” 

“So much for being able to hide stress, huh?” 

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Some things are harder to deal with than others.” 

“Is Master Y/l/n ‘some things’?” Ahoska asked innocently. 

Obi-Wan pondered for a minute, deciding the best way to answer. “Master Y/l/n is...many things.” 

“Like what?” 

Gorgeous. Strong. Kind. Perfect in every way. “They are highly skilled, almost as well as I am, if not better. A fine Jedi and a valuable member to the Order.” He stopped there before he’d say something he’d come to regret. Best to keep professional thoughts. 

“I still don’t understand why the Council sent them away like that. Surely there were other Jedi that could have completed the mission,” Anakin commented. He knew his former Master wasn’t satisfied with the answer they were all given but would never admit it. He had to push him to find the truth. 

“Whatever reasons Master Yoda and Master Windu had for picking Y/n are between them. You must stop questioning the Council’s intentions, Anakin. It will land you in very big trouble one day.” Obi-Wan says as if he hasn’t second guessed the Order as a whole before. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. The less you question things, the easier life is. 

“That’s why I keep you around, old man,” Anakin said in a teasing manner. Hearing Obi-Wan let out a light chuckle made him feel a bit better as they settled into silence once more, this time more comfortable and light-hearted. 

A bit more time had passed before Ahsoka spoke up. “Why don’t you ask Master Y/l/n what really happened?” 

Obi-Wan sighed. He should have known better than to believe she would drop the topic. Like Master, like Padawan. “It’s none of my business. Frankly, it’s none of ours so I suggest we leave the subject alone.” 

His answer, apparently, wasn’t good enough. “I’m gonna go ask them.” Ahsoka stands up to leave but is stopped mid-movement by Obi-Wan’s protests. 

“No!” He looked at Ahsoka’s slightly stunned face, and chose to ignore Anakin’s smug look. “Fine, I’ll ask them. But only once, and if they don’t want to indulge me then that is the end of it. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal.” 

Meanwhile, you sat alone on the bed in your chosen quarters. It made you feel relaxed, in a way. Before leaving, you were extremely extraverted, always going out of your way to make acquaintances with everyone around you. The life forces around you at night kept you alive, it gave a sense of warmth and comfort to lull you to slumber. On Gyfil, there was none of that. You had to rely on your own warmth to comfort yourself to sleep. No lush trees or animals to provide even the smallest bit of connection. It was just You and the Force. Sleeping for the first time in the Jedi Temple after returning felt like a sensory overload. Everything was loud, and rough. You could feel it coursing through your veins at the speed of light. No matter what you did, it was too much. 

You didn’t sleep the first few days. Eventually you got used to the noise, but not enough to get a decent amount of rest at night. There was one sound that sometimes made it impossible to sleep, one Force signature that kept trying to break through the walls you put up to protect yourself when you’re most vulnerable. What scared you the most was the fact your own signature subconsciously fought back against the walls you put. You refused to acknowledge it, choosing to fall into a deep meditative slumber and stay alert as opposed to any actual sleep. Whoever it was would not get into your head so easily. 

Knock knock. Obi-Wan stepped into the room once his presence was made known, gently shutting the door behind him. “Y/n…” 

You looked up and squinted at him. “I thought we agreed to not speak?” 

“Yes, well, that proves to be a bit tricky now doesn’t it?” He smiled tightly and crossed his arms over his chest. 

You huffed out air in a sorry attempt at a sarcastic laugh, shaking your head a little. “What do you want, Obi-Wan?” 

It was neither hostile nor endearing. It was simply his first name. To him you sounded tired, and judging by the way you sat on the cot, leaning back against the cold metal wall with your eyes half opened, he presumed his assumption was correct. He spoke gently, “Anakin estimates we should be coming out of hyperspace and landing soon.” 

“I figured.” It wasn’t your intention to be stoic but that's how you’ve been training yourself to speak to the man in front of you. The faster the conversation ends, the faster he leaves. 

Obi-Wan, however, was not having it. “How are you feeling? I know it hasn’t been that long since you returned from your previous assignment.” 

You shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m fine.” 

“No one who says that is ever truly ‘fine’ Y/n/n,” he says, taking a step closer to the bed. “I know you. What’s on your mind, darling?” 

You slowly met his gaze, debating whether to open up or keep yourself closed off. On one hand, the idea of exposing your anxieties to someone didn’t feel right to you, letting someone know about your weaknesses and insecurities. However, you knew in order for the mission to succeed you would have to be willing to work with Obi-Wan and to do that a sense of trust had to be built. Rebuilt, technically. 

“If you wish not to speak, I understand.” He hesitated turning his back to you, “excuse me.” He was about to make his leave before you interrupted. 

“Obi-Wan, wait,” You sighed, shifting so there was room for him to sit on the bed. “Sit.” 

He did as he was told, eyeing you carefully. “Honestly, I don’t mean to pry.” 

“It’s fine.” You knew his intentions and as pure as they were you cannot bring yourself to tell him the truth. “I admit that I...am slightly concerned about the mission.” 

It wasn’t the answer Obi-Wan was hoping for, but he was willing to hear anything he could get out of you. “You have nothing to be worried about Y/n/n. You’re an extremely capable Jedi and I have no doubt in my mind you will lead us through it.” 

You smiled, only slightly but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back. 

Your eyes locked tight with each other, and everything around you became emptiness. A void surrounded you both and the presence of the other was all that could be felt. 

“Staring competitions are pointless.” You rolled your eyes, sitting up straight and attempting to return your meditative state. 

“No they aren’t!: Obi-Wan argued from his spot across from you. 

“All you do is stare at each other until someone blinks. Waste of time.” 

“Nuh uh. Master Qui-Gon told me that--” Obi-Wan stood up, “--‘The eyes are a window to the soul’--” you laughed at the bad attempt he made to mimic his Master;s voice, “--therefore staring competitions can be a very good battle tactic.” 

“Jedi don’t do battles, remember? We’re peacekeepers.” You looked up at your friend. “Besides, you just want an excuse to get lost in my eyes.” 

Obi-Wan grinned. “You know me so well.” 

So much has changed about the man in front of you, you could hardly recognize him. You never allowed yourself the pleasure to examine what you missed out on. One moment he was a young man who looked like he could take on the universe, and now all you could see was one tired man doing his best. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, is what the old You would have teased. But post-living-ten-years-by-yourself You was different. In a way, you understood. Although you didn’t fight any life-threatening battles and put yourself in the line of fire every week, you have worked tirelessly towards the same goal. 

Peace. 

Like this moment. 

For once, it was quiet. You felt yourself relax slowly, focusing on the one noise that soothed your anxious mind. It felt warm and...close. Something you haven’t felt in a long, long time. 

Obi-Wan leaned closer, his heart reacting faster than his brain. He felt a warmth he had been longing for over a decade. When he reached out, he no longer felt desolate. He wanted to hold on to the feeling and never let go. 

But alas in time of war, small moments of peace only last for so long. 

“Hey! We’re here.”  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

reblog and comment what will happen on the mission  👀👀

taglist; @queenariesofnarnia  @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice @emiijemii @neji85 @doctor-warthrop @ayamenimthiriel @lizzy-95 @lovelylostminds @badbatch-simp24

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Skinny Love II (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: second part to skinny love. This is all angst. Very sad. I just watched the pain arc again and had to write something about Kakashi and what happens. Im guessing this could be tagged for spoilers but Naruto is old soooo. 

Word count: 5000

“I’m just saying, maybe the second novel is better than the first. You’re free to have your own opinion, that’s just what I think.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

“Whatever you say,” Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes at the masked man sitting in front of her. She was sipping on a hot bowl of broth after coming home from her most recent mission. It was a nice day out, and she thought it would be a good idea to go out and get something to eat with her favorite shinobi. He was dangerously possessive over his romance novels, and felt immense embarrassment when Y/N decided to pick them up as well. 

For a week after finishing the series, she mocked him for liking the gushy, mushy romance that lied on the pages, not to mention the more inappropriate chapters that left nothing to the imagination. Master Jiraiya wasn’t kidding when he said he was doing “research” at the bath house.

“We should go out more often,” he commented, “It’s nice to relax with all this Akatsuki business going on.”

“Definitely. We used to go out like this all the time before you started training those kids,” she hummed. It was true. They had normal outings at that point in time, as the only thing they did was go on missions and then chill at home until the next outing. After Naruto and Sasuke revealed their unique personalities, and got themselves into some sticky situations, the times changed and they spent much more time apart than before. “Not to mention going out with you gives me an excuse to eat whatever I want.”

He nodded in reply, his eyes trailing down to his novel once again which he was skimming over. She didn’t mind him reading at the table. What was he supposed to do? Eat? There was no way he would take off the mask. He was content just giving her company. 

His reading gave Y/N an excuse to admire him. Her eyes would lift from the table every time he looked down at the pages, and she would take in all his features. She swore, he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever met, even with the mask. Without a mask, he probably resembled a god. It was nice to just watch as he relaxed into his novel, enjoying himself without any cares in the world. 

She liked to talk to him even more. He always knew the right thing to say to make her feel important and wanted, even on her worst of days, he was there to make it better. He was brave and strong, but kind and gentle when need be. His soft words in the late nights they hung out, or his concern when she injured herself, or the happiness the times she made him laugh. Each moment meant so much more to her than he realized. 

It was evident to everyone that she had an attachment to him. What kind exactly was the complicated part. While they had been friends for quite a long time, she felt like he was more than just a normal friend or even a best friend. He felt more like a partner than anything, whether it be partner-in-crime or partner-in-love. She loved him with every bone in her body, more than she loved her comrades or her friends, she cared for him like she would a lover.

Maybe it was because she was so shy that she couldn’t tell him how she felt after all this time. Maybe it was fear of rejection. Maybe it was fear of death. She wasn’t sure what held her back from confessing her love to him, spilling all those words she kept under lock and key. She wanted there to be something more, but he’d never let on that he cared for her that way, and surely he would have said something if he did feel that way. It just seemed impossible.

But not to the ordinary person. 

People had mentioned in passing to Kakashi that he acted like a lovesick teenager when he was around the woman. She was just so perfect, how could he do anything but adore her. To him, she was one of the only people that truly mattered as more than a fellow shinobi or comrade.

There was no reason to rush it though. If she truly wanted a relationship with him, she would tell him eventually. He wasn’t one to go around throwing out love confessions first. He would wait until she was comfortable and ready. Until then, he would admire her from a distance, through friendly touches and smiles, and dreamy looks when the other wasn’t watching. To him, that was enough. 

This lunch outing was the perfect time to waste some hours with her just talking and reading in the others company. The day almost felt too good to be true. 

And it was.

First there was the explosion, followed by the screams. Oh, those screams would haunt Y/N’s dreams. Villagers who she’d known growing up screaming in pain. Quickly, she jumped to her feet as did the copy nin.  Their eyes frantically looked through the doorway of the restaurant, but there wasn’t anything on their particular street, just dust from the explosion floating down in thick clouds. 

“Someone’s attacked the village. Shit,” he cursed under her breath. 

They would have to go out there and fight, they both knew that very well. Fight who, they didn’t know, but Y/N could sense that the same foreign chakra signature was coming at her from multiple directions in the village. That couldn’t be good. It was probably that Akatsuki member that everyone was talking about. Pain. Pain with the rinnegan. How could the leaf compete against something as strong as that dojutsu?

“Everybody out! You know the evacuation route,” Y/N called out to the civilians in the restaurant, as she swallowed her panic. She made a move to usher the people from the store so they could run in the direction of refuge.

This wasn’t a normal battle. These intruders were a completely different breed than the ones they were used to fighting. She could feel the impending doom start to blanket around her body, and she took a deep breath. How could this happen? Was Pain here to take Naruto? Naruto wasn’t even in the village, how could that be? Was it the Akatsuki making a big statement attacking one of the five great villages?

There was just something off. She could feel it. Today was going to be one of the worst days, worse than anything else they’d experienced.

“Y/N, let’s go.”

“Kakashi…” she trailed off, not taking a step forward just yet. Was there something she needed to get off her chest before they rushed into a battle with an outcome unknown? As she met his frantic, panicked eyes with her own, she wondered if she should just confess her feelings right then and there, just so he could know before they put their lives on the line. 

Never in her life did she think that her or Kakashi might die. It was never a thought that crossed her mind. She assumed she had all the time in the world to gather the courage to tell him. Now it felt like she had run out of time, and they might never get the chance to see each other again. The chakra signatures around them were just too strong to guarantee they would live against their blows. It felt like this was her final chance. 

She started again, “Kakashi, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, wanting to hurry this along. She could see plainly that this wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t in the right mind to hear her words, or comprehend the meaning behind them. Instead, she lowered her head and sighed. 

And so she kept that secret tightly bound deep in her heart. 

“Nevermind, it’s not important. Just be safe out there. Make it back to me in one piece, okay?”

“You know I can’t promise that,” he replied, and her heart sank in her chest. He was right. If he died, he died. If she died, she died. Nothing could stop fate from doing its dirty work.

“Just promise me. Give me some confidence before we jump into this mess. I-I can’t do this without you promising me you’ll live!” She cried, passion and fear dripping off her words. She had her eyes shut tightly at this point, just trying to keep herself from letting the potential tears gather in her eyes. Her fists clenched by her side as well. “Just say something!”

He nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “I promise I’ll make it back to you, Y/N. Now promise you’ll live. For me,” he demanded, lifting her head to face him. His fingers were strong against her cheek, firm when faced with danger. He wanted her to live, but knowing that Pain killed Jiraiya was enough to make him worry and plan for the worst. 

Why was he even asking? He knew that words meant nothing. That most promises were just bound to be empty. 

Just this one time, he prayed that she’d keep it.

“I promise.”

“Now let’s go. I’ll take this side, and you go that way. Sounds like explosions came from both directions.”

“Got it.”

There was no room for goodbyes.

After that, they went their separate ways. Y/N had to keep herself from losing control. Everything was going to be okay. She was worrying far too much. Kakashi was strong. Stronger than anyone else she knew really. He couldn’t be taken down by some terrorists. It wasn’t an option.

As long as she could sense his chakra lingering in the distance, she would know. 

__________

It was painful, the wound that tore through her thigh. Blood dripped thickly from the cut, but she continued to fight. In this situation, there was nothing else to do, nothing more to fight for than the safety of the village and the people within it. Y/N has never seen a villain this bad, someone so dead set on killing and tormenting that it brought the shinobi of the village to their knees. Yet, here he was, this orange haired creature who popped up at multiple points of their city, each with a different signature move yet a similar chakra pattern.

Y/N knew she couldn’t break down just yet, not after seeing comrade after comrade fall to the ground and lose their lives to the cause. She had to keep going for them. For her friends and her family who died. She was never the most talented at fighting, she was more of a sensory type, stay on the inside and study type of kunoichi. But not today. No one had that luxury today.

Constantly, she could feel the loss of the ninja alongside her, their chakra signatures melting into nothing as blasts continued to ravage their village. The fire within their bodies burned for the last time, disappearing into the ashes.

It wasn’t until she was on her knees, face buried in the dirt and rubble did she really feel the pain this man was so desperate to bestow upon the villagers. Kakashi’s chakra had burned out. It was as if her body gave up after that. She couldn’t move, her bones were broken and she couldn’t afford to stand and fall back down once again, believe it that she tried over and over again. Nothing mattered at this point. How could it? She couldn’t feel her best friend’s chakra signature any longer. He was dead.

Her crying into the dirt was the only thing that signalled another shinobi to come and help her to the infirmary. Someone she barely knew had picked her up by the arm and hoisted it over his shoulder, dragging her by his side to the hospital where the medical nin were no doubt working harder than ever. Her whole body felt like it was caked in bloody crimson mud, dust up her nose and muk between her teeth. 

Everything just made her cry harder and harder until she felt she was gasping to breathe. 

The harsh lights in the building did nothing but sting her eyes, and the dozens of medical nin rushing around those lying on the floor overwhelmed her. 

Sakura stood at the front of all the mess, and her eyes immediately caught onto Y/N and her rescuer. “Y/N-sensei, what happened to you?” she cried, rushing over with her frantic hands hovering over the state of the broken woman as she scanned for the wounds. This only caused more sobbing.

“One second she was fine, the next she was lying in the dirt screaming. I don’t know,” the man said, handing her off to the pink haired girl. “She’s got broken legs, I know that.”

“Thank you for bringing her,” she mumbled as she brought her sensei over to an empty cot, sitting her down on the cloth and beginning the healing process on the worst part of her leg where the bone was exposed. She was shaking so badly it was almost hard to concentrate on her work. She’d never seen Y/N so hopeless and lost. She was strong, she never faltered in the face of danger. It worried Sakura, no doubt.

“Sensei, what happened?”

“It’s Kakashi,” the woman croaked between her harsh breaths. “I-I can’t feel his chakra anymore.” Tears ran down her cheeks furiously, dripping from her chin into her lap. She felt the hopelessness overtake her entire person, the only thing left being complete and utter fear. Her chest heaved, desperate for the next gulp of air into her lungs. 

Sakura nearly faltered at the words. Kakashi sensei, dead? How could that be? He was one of the strongest shinobi they knew. He would never fall victim to a villain, would he? From the sounds of Y/N’s heartbroken cries, the medical nin knew that it was over. That another life had been stolen from them. 

Kakashi was Y/N’s heart and soul. She loved him for years and planned to love him for many more. Everyone knew that. Kakashi and her may have never acknowledged their feelings before his death, but the skinny love lingered in the air every time they were around each other. 

The longing looks when they passed each other in the street. The pain they felt when the other was hurt. The smiles they shared when something good happened in their no-good shinobi lives. They were more than willing to lay their lives on the line for the other, more than just a comrade, more than a friend. 

Her passion for Kakashi was the only good thing she had to come home to after missions. His face was the one thing she wanted to see after a bad day. His stupid face as he read his perverted novels, that grin that she positively adored.

All of that was gone, and her heart couldn’t take it. The pain from her injuries sat in the back of her mind, the only thing she could focus on was the loss. Knowing she would never see him again, never hear his voice. If only she could hear him laugh one more time. It was impossible, but she wished to the heavens above for mercy.

Sadly, no one was there to listen. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Sakura whispered, not knowing what else to say. What could she say? 

“I need him. I can’t do this without him,” she sobbed, her hands shaking by her side, having to clench her fists just to stop the tremors. “Sakura, it’s been 15 years. I...I don’t know a life without him.”

Her heart broke at the words. It was true. She didn’t know life anymore without Kakashi. They’d been friends and comrades for so long that it seemed like that was all she knew. How can you come back from that? Sakura didn’t know. She might be able to heal the woman’s legs, but there was no way she could begin to heal such a broken heart. 

“It’s okay. You have plenty of others. You have Gai and Kurenai and-”

“Fuck everyone else. You know they can’t replace him,” she snapped. “No one can replace him.”

Sakura could only nod solemnly. They could lie all day and pretend that Gai would somehow swoop in and make up for that gaping hole in her heart. They could lie and say that Kurenai and her child would fill Y/N with a happiness she felt with Kakashi. Yes, they could certainly lie about it all. 

At the end of the day though, her pain would be unrivalled. Losing the one man you’ve loved from the moon and back. It would take an entire army and then some to combat such a struggle. 

When Sakura was done healing the woman, she handed her a roll of bandages from her pocket. “I’ve got to tend to others. Wrap this around your calf and then stay here to rest. Please, just rest yourself, sensei. You’ll heal faster that way.” Y/N took the bandages and nodded her head weakly, shaky hands going to wrap her bare and burned calf with the medical bandages.

Her mind still centered around Kakashi. She found herself curling up into a ball on the little bench she was sat at, hugging her knees close to her chest. She just cried. Right now, she couldn’t do anything else. 

Just cry.

________

The village was in complete and utter ruin. Y/N lay painfully utop a mountain of rubble, blood oozing from the back of her head and from her already injured leg. Pain’s final attack, one that completely demolished the village...it spared her life.

How could things get any fucking worse? 

She felt like the Gods were being especially cruel to her on this day. Especially cruel to every single person in the village, but they kept Y/N alive for their own personal amusement, laughing at her loss and her pain and her  frustration. 

Despite Lady Tsunade sending out Katsuyu to protect the villagers, Y/N only seemed to be in worse shape than before. She could feel the slug on her shoulder slowly healing her, but it wasn’t much compared to the pain and the numerous injuries.

Y/N rolled onto her side and groaned, pain shooting up her spine and giving her a brain-shattering headache. When she went to cough on something thick and slimy in her throat, what splattered on the ground was red. Maybe she was just meant to die slow and painfully. 

It was better this way, she decided. Nothing could make this day worth it. Nothing. The pain was unbearable.

“Y/N? Is that you?” a feminine voice called from a little while away, and the woman cursed, spitting up more blood as she did so. Sakura climbed through some of the rubble to approach her. Her hands hovered over the woman’s broken body, scanning over all her wounds. 

Naruto was down there fighting Pain. Everything was going to be okay as long as they had faith in the Uzumaki. Sakura could focus a bit of her energy on healing her sensei. There was nothing else to do except watch the fight below them, in the center of the wasteland that used to be the Hidden Leaf.

She began the healing process, medical chakra flowing into the woman’s chest wounds, the most critical of all. “Sakura…”

“What is it, Y/N?”

“What’s happening? Is everyone dead?”

“No, everyone is alive. Lady Tsunade sent out Katsuyu to protect everyone. It seems that you were injured before your healing slug could get to you. Thankfully, you have both of us to fix you up,” she muttered. Y/N would have been blind to not notice the way Sakura stared past her deeper into the wreckage as she spoke. 

“What do you see?” she asked quietly, as loud as her body could muster.

“It’s Naruto. He’s out there fighting Pain alone,” she said, “He-he’s gotten so much stronger.”

The older woman smiled through her pain, shutting her eyes and letting a soft sigh leave her lips. She hadn’t anticipated Naruto to come saving the day, in fact, it seemed more likely that Pain would kill everyone and leave the village in ruin. Fortunately, Kakashi’s student, the one that people had underestimated for so long, was out there doing what the rest of them couldn’t. 

A hero. No matter if he won or not, these are the actions of a hero.

“It’s his destiny: to save this village,” she whispered. “Jiraiya once said so.”

“Let’s hope he was right.”

Together they lay there in the middle of ruin while Naruto battled Pain. They watched as the two men launched themselves away from the village into the woods, the nine tailed fox coming to life far away from where they huddled together. The village was safe from direct harm at this point and the two women let down their guard just a little bit. Down in the middle of the pit some of the students started to gather, including a heavily injured Hinata.

“Help me down there, Sakura. I need to see Gai,” she said, louder than before. After all that time healing, she found herself strong enough to prop up on her elbows and gaze into the destruction. 

Once down there, Sakura was quick to start healing Hinata, fearing that the girl had taken too much damage to handle. After all, she charged against Pain, the supposedly leader of this terrorist attack. All of that to help out young Naruto. Y/N felt like she was staring at an image of herself for a moment. A young woman ready to sacrifice it all for the sake of the man she loved. 

As her eyes moved around the area, she caught onto the bright green outfit of her long time friend. His eyes caught hers for a moment and quickly, he rushed over to her side. She collapsed onto her knees, wincing at the pain that ran through her body as she did so. She found herself still a bit too weak to stand. 

“Y/N, you’re alive,” he gasped. He knelt on the ground beside her and placed a firm hand on her shoulder, steadying her shaky form. “Your injuries-”

“Forget about that, Gai,” she mumbled. “Something terrible has happened.” He couldn’t imagine what she had to say could be any worse than the destruction of the entire village. But he nodded and sat there listening as she spoke her words carefully, painfully with each syllable that left her lips. “Kakashi is dead.”

He felt his heart drop in his chest. As he looked at the woman before him, he knew that she wanted nothing more to cry, yet there were no tears. He assumed that she had already cried her fill earlier and could only mourn at this point. He didn’t ask before wrapping her smaller form up in his arms and tugging her to his chest, burying his nose in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his shoulder, dry sobs causing her entire form to quiver.

In a moment like this one, he just remained still for her. Sit there and be there through this pain. He felt crushed at the thought of his best friend dead, his eternal rival somewhere out there in all that rubble fatally injured. Gai had lost a brother that day, and Y/N had lost her one and only lover.

He listened as she hopelessly bawled in the comfort of his arms, feeling every bit of her pain sink into his form. They had gone through battles together before, they grew up teammates and friends, how could they not. They had seen death and pain all their lives. This was on another level, incomprehensible to either of them. 

Pure misery. Every emotion seemed to burn in her chest. She wanted to curl up and die herself.

________

It felt like hours went by before the lives were returned. She hadn’t thought much of it when the elderly Toad woke up from his eternal slumber. For a moment, she thought it was just a fluke. That he had never really died in the first place, they just thought he did. But then, she watched as people above the trench started to stand from their resting places on the ground and in the rubble. 

That is when she realized that somehow, someway, the lives lost during this terrible battle had been reclaimed. It was only a matter of time before she found out if Kakashi had come back to life as well. She sat there, focusing all her energy into sensing nearby chakra, sorting through hundreds of people for the one she wanted. 

Gai had left to help out some of the others, so she just sat there waiting. Waiting for Kakashi to come back to her. Just like he promised.

After all this chaos, she couldn’t imagine keeping her love a secret from him any longer. He needed to know. She wouldn’t let this opportunity go wasted. Y/N was given a second chance at finding love in her friend, and she would be damned if she let that go to waste. 

After a while, she began to feel his chakra. At first it was very faint, like he was a mile away hidden underneath rocks and everything else you could imagine. But then it got stronger. 

He was alive.

When she saw his form climb down into the pit with the rest of them, his mask torn and only the bottom layer of his clothes still intact, she nearly cried once again. For hours before this, she was prepared to never see him alive again, never see that masked face look down upon hers once more. She had mourned the loss of Kakashi Hatake, only for him to be returned. 

It was as if the God’s had listened to her prayers.

“Kakashi!” she exclaimed as she struggled to get herself up from the ground. She knelt on one knee, pushing herself up with the other, desperate to walk over to him. Her body failed her of course, and she fell back onto her butt. He noticed her though, her tiny figure in the crowd of hundreds. She was the one person he wanted to find all along. 

He fell onto his knees beside her, his hands coming up to grasp her cheeks with his dusty, calloused hands. She relaxed into his rough fingers, sinking into the warmth that he was sharing. His thumbs slid along her lips and chin, trying to rub away the dirt that was caked in some places. She was a mess, messier than he was. He could only imagine the suffering that she went through as well, to have survived all of that without death as a retreat in the middle.

“Y/N, what happened to you?”

“Pain’s final blow caused some pretty bad wounds, but it’s fine. Sakura healed me enough that I’ll make it through,” she told him. Softly, she lifted her hands to place them over top his, her fingers slowly wrapping around his. “Kakashi, you broke your promise to me.”

“I know.”

She found that the words came out faster than she anticipated. Emotions and feelings being laid out in the open for him to see/ “I-I completely lost myself when I couldn’t feel your chakra anymore. I thought I’d lost you. I couldn’t stop crying, and I was angry at you for breaking your promise to me,” she rambled, “I didn’t know what I was gonna do without you.”

“It’s alright. I’m here now. Whatever Naruto has done saved my life,” he soothed, letting their hands fall into her lap. She wouldn’t let go of his hands even if he wanted them to himself. She was afraid. Afraid that if she let him go once more that he would be gone forever. “And I’m sorry I lied to you. I really shouldn’t have died like that. So irresponsible of me.”

There he was cracking a fucking joke about his own death. She wanted to smack him for being so dimwitted in a moment of vulnerability. Just the thought of being with him again made tears spring up in her eyes, and she shut her eyes to keep them from falling. Happy tears or not, she wasn’t going to cry again.

 “I need to tell you what I was too afraid to say before. What I wanted to say before we went our separate ways,” she confessed, her breaths coming out harsh and rushed. Once again, she gripped his hands tighter in hers. 

After taking a couple breaths, she lifted her eyes to meet his, mouth just agape. He really was all she could ever need. This moment wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t ideal, but it was just right for what she needed to say. “I’ve always loved you, Kakashi.”

“Y/N-”

“Listen, I know it’s not exactly an appropriate time to be confessing my love to you and all, but I couldn’t risk another day going by without telling you.”

“I love you, too.”

And silence. 

There wasn’t anything else to say. The love was mutual, it had been all this time. They just took their time getting around to admitting it, to just hear those words leave the other’s lips for the first time. There were no butterflies in her stomach nor did her heart race in her chest at his confession. 

She could only feel comfort in the umbrella they’d created for themselves, the outside world lost to the both of them. 

In a flash, she lurched forward to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face deep into his neck. “Don’t die ever again, Hatake, or I’ll kick your ass,” she laughed, the sound of her laugh reaching his ear. He held her to his chest and sighed. 

“No promises.”

Despite what happened that day, he felt comfortable. For the first time, in a very long time, he felt relief wash over him. Everything was going to be okay.

“Kakashi!”

Requests Are Open!

[adder24]

Tales from the reapers scythe part 3 - Bumpy Beginnings

Part 1| Part 2| Rating: 15+ Because cussing and gore Authors notes: This is some original fiction that I have wrote and been developing for 20+ years. Welcome to the world of reapers Description: What is life like for a reaper? It’s certainly not like the life we are led to believe, a being that helps you on your journey when you pass. No it is far more than that. There is a balance to keep, creatures to keep at bay and enemies hell bent on making a reapers life even more difficult. We join Adder after being shot in the head by his captors and discovering something dark roaming within the depths of his mind This is available on Wattpad so if you are a member or have an account, please, I encourage you to leave a comment :) Tales from the reapers scythe Wattpad link

Tagging mutuals but please do tag on, reblog, comment, whatever you need to do :) Story beneath the cut.

@nuggsmum @untilthe12ofnever @the-boneyard-rider @littletime67 @bonnie131313 @scnewztown @bliphany @wholesome-dragon-lady​ @plinkitee @imnotrevealingmyname @imelopsittacus @sunrise68 @stingalingaling @mother-of-a-murder​ @izhunny​ @littlefreya​ @nuggsmumreads​​

Sleep seemed illusive and the night seemed to last a lifetime before the dawn eventually broke, it’s light seeping into the warehouse and becoming the natural alarm for Lee. The light caused his eyes to flutter open and adjust before he reached up with his hand and brushed the sleep out of his eyes. He then pushed back the covers and sat himself up, he took a moment to fully wake himself up as the morning light cascaded over his scarred body, illuminating him and highlighting the battles won and lost. He then got to his feet, made his way to the kitchen and filled a cup with water before carrying it over to where Adder slept. He smiled as he watched him sleep for a moment before he tipped the water in the cup over Adder’s face, which caused the man to sit up, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

“Good morning” Lee said softly a smile on his face

“Please tell me that was water” Adder gasped as he wiped the liquid from his face

“It was water, one of the oldest tricks in the book and still an effective one at that. Now...it’s time for you to get up. We have a full days training to get through”

There is no denying that training for a reaper is classed as one of the most intense training regimes known to man and beast. From day one, a reaper is expected to reap souls, make the correct decision and keep the fragile balance of life and death stable.

No doubt it has crossed your mind how a reaper is expected to do such sorcery. How a reaper is to know a soul is ready for picking, how they get there in rapid time, how they make the correct decision and yada yada. Well, it just so happens that I am about to explain the complexity of such a system but firstly let me explain the souls screaming loudly in your ear when you are first “Born” bit, again. When a Reaper is first born, their senses are on overload, much like when a child has been born into the world. This sensory overload eases once the reaper has used their scythe for the first time. I guess it’s like putting on a seatbelt.

Now that bit is explained, it’s time to break down the system. Question one, how does a reaper know that a soul is ripe? Well ladies and gentlemen, the key is the blade on the scythe. See when a reaper is due to collect, the Scythe will reveal itself, doesn’t matter if it’s disguised as a walking stick or a book, if there is a soul that needs collecting, it will revert to its natural form. Fun fact, a reaper once had a scythe that disguised itself as a roll of toilet paper, a soul was ready and...well I’ll let you imagine what happened next. Anyway once the scythe reveals itself, it’ll have a glowing finger print on the face of the blade, the bit where you can see your face, not the sharp owwie bit. That fingerprint tells you that a soul is ready for collection.

So how do they get to the soul? Well that awesome glowing fingerprint also acts as a portal. Once you place your hand on it, you are taken to the soul in question. The first time a reaper has to experience it, it usually ends up with their stomach contents on the floor, which is why Lee avoided breakfast with Adder.

Next one. How do they make the correct decision? Now this process is cool and I could explain it simply, however, this would be detracting from Adder's story and let's be honest, wouldn’t we all like to know how he managed the first one? Yes? No? Well whatever the answer is, I am going to share it with you and let me tell you, his first soul was...awkward to say the least.

Adder was still in the clothes he was in when he escaped the Japanese science facility, torn Khaki trousers and a white, blood stained vest, fantastic first impression right there. He didn’t have time to change and Lee didn’t have clothes out ready, the moment the soul dropped, Adder had to go and Lee had to be with him in order to help him with the process. Lee explained what he had to do and as expected, the first time wasn’t so smooth. Adder found himself bringing up his stomach contents the moment he emerged, Lee appearing beside him. That white blood stained vest now had vomit added to the list.

Where they ended up is where things start to get awkward. The soul in question was an elderly lady and she wasn’t too impressed that Adder had emptied his stomach on her clean carpet.

“I don’t know who you two are but I didn’t clean my carpet just for you to be sick all over it. You better clean it up or so help me!” She nagged in her broad New Yorker accent.

Adder quickly stood up and noticed an elderly woman, dressed in a long white nightdress, slumped into an armchair and beside her was her ghostly image, looking cross and trying to pick up a newspaper that she had on her side table.

“My sincerest apologies, please forgive me and my young apprentice” Lee said calmly as he approached her.

“I don’t care! You’re in my house and you are trespassing….and you have weapons!” She shrieked as she clocked Adder’s scythe

“Oh you’re going to be a tricky one aren’t you?”

“I beg your pardon!”

“I’m afraid there is no time to explain ourselves, Adder we need to move fast” Lee responded hurriedly

“What kind of a name is that?” The woman snapped

“Well what do I do?” Adder panicked as the spectre’s anger was becoming apparent and books had now started to fly around.

“Their fingerprint should now be at the top of your scythe and it should be glowing a nice orange” Lee replied as he ducked a few books “You gotta put your thumb on it to start the process of judgement”

“Will it hurt?”

“No, unless you get a bible thrown at your head, don’t worry I’ll distract her for you”

Adder gulped and looked at his scythe, noticing the finger print at the top of his scythe. It was indeed glowing a nice, lava orange and as he lifted his hand up to it, he could feel some heat being emitted from it.

“Hurry up Adder!” Lee called out as he blocks yet another book being hurled at him

Adder took a deep breath and placed his thumb on it. Instantly everything about this woman's life was coming at him like a movie projection that had been sped up at a ridiculous speed. He could see her when she was a young happy girl, growing up in a loving family. She liked to bake, sew and garden. It quickly moved on to her being at the funeral of her father and then progressed again to when she was twenty and was at the funeral of her mother.

She had a loving husband and a family of her own by the time she was twenty two but as she and her children got older, they grew distant, an argument affected that relationship and it never recovered. By the time she was fifty, her husband passed away and this woman spent her remaining twenty years as a lonely, sad old woman.

He didn’t see anything within her life that would warrant her going to a form of hell, she just lived her life but clearly there was one regret that she couldn’t resolve, that she could never forgive herself for.

Once the vision was over, Adder dropped to his knees trying to catch his breath.

“Well?” Lee called out, finally settling the woman down by holding up a crossword he had found in the paper.

“....She holds onto a mistake ... .one that she can’t forgive herself for. And her name is Marie by the way”

“Alright, good. So souls with unfinished business usually end up in purgatory. It’s where they resolve their business and then get sent on from there….you just need to tell her that, get her to touch the blade and away she goes”

“I’m not going anywhere!”

“I’m afraid you are Marie.... Look at your chair” Adder says as he slowly gets to his feet

Marie, as she liked to be called, slowly turned to see herself slumped in the chair. Her cold fingers hugging the arm rests, head slumped to one side, appearing as though she had just nodded off to sleep, her glass of water on the side table untouched. There was no denying that it must have been hard for her to accept that, to accept that she was now dead and that her lifeless corpse was all that remained of her.

“I’m sorry Marie…” Adder says softly “But it’s time to go”

“... You’re him aren’t you? You’re that skeleton bastard!”

“Here we go” Lee groaned

There were further books and choice words hurled at Adder and Lee as Marie argued that “No bony assed busy body” was going to take her into the afterlife, however, after three minutes of trying to talk her down, they managed to convince her that they were not skeleton bastards and that they were only trying to help her to the afterlife. She grabbed Lee’s arm as he ushered her over to Adder. He instructs her on what she needs to do as well as explaining to Adder the process. To complete it, the soul must touch the blade in order to be taken to the afterlife. Oddly enough, their fingers will glow the same orange as the fingerprint on the scythe as a means to identify that they have the right soul. After all the problems she caused them, Marie went calmly, she even apologised to them before she left, which Lee accepted and wished her luck on her journey before they were left standing in a now quiet and somewhat empty home.

“Well she was interesting” Lee said before he looked at Adder “Onto the next one my young apprentice”

“But…I need to change Lee!” Adder protested

“Death waits for no one Adder” Lee replied with a smile on his lips “I’ll get you some clothes when we get a long enough break”

That break didn't come till the end of the day, after eight hours of constantly being rushed off their feet, dealing with a variety of souls, some easy going and accepting their fate and some being a bit like Marie. So when Adder was finally allowed to stop and catch his breath, he found himself lying on the floor outside the warehouse, listening to the waves gently lap against the harbour, helping him to focus his mind, calm himself and put the day behind him.

As promised, Lee brought Adder some fresh clean clothes. He brought him a pair of black jeans, a white tee shirt and some clean underwear before he sat down beside the man.

“You should watch the sunset over the harbour. It is one of New York’s hidden beauties.” Lee said softly as he watched the horizon, noting the sun starting to come down for the day and fishing boats coming in from their days trawl “It makes you truly appreciate the beauty of this world and thankful for the second chance you have been given. Not many people will get to see the sunrise tomorrow.”

“Certainly puts things into perspective when you put it like that” Adder replied as he slowly sits himself up

“It does….I have seen many of them and each one is as beautiful as the last” Lee says thoughtfully

Both men sat silently and watched as the sun set over the harbour, allowing mother nature to show off her beauty as she cascaded a beautiful orange glow over the city, Lee smiled and thanked her for allowing him to watch.

“You hungry Minarai?” Lee asked

“Starved and what did you call me?”

“Minarai. It means Apprentice. Now ... .I'm going to make some beef Ramen, you’re welcome to help when you are ready.”

Adder didn’t need an invite in order to help Lee with the Ramen, in fact it became a regular habit for them to sit down at the end of each day and cook a hearty meal. Adder would fire questions at Lee and the man would answer them as best as he can. The questions varied and at times Adder was like a three year old trying to learn about the world around him, throwing question after question at Lee, who answered each one with minimal fuss. Some of them were asked about their lifestyle, did they have a different diet? Could they still drink or smoke? Lee’s answer was their lives were still the same as the day they came into the world. So in other words there was no change, they could still eat shit, get drunk and fill their lungs with nicotine if they wished.

There was also the question of how many reapers there actually was in the world and truth be told, Lee didn’t know but he knew that in New York there was at least six of them, each one covering a particular time period and area, which was why he and Adder could sit down, eat in peace and get some much needed rest. Had Lee met any of them? Briefly, he knew that at some point Adder would need to meet them too, a thought that made the man cringe, especially when he thought about introducing him to a reaper that called himself the Puma. A thought that could wait a few more days before he dared to entertain it again.

As annoying as the questions may seem, Lee was impressed with the way his apprentice was taking to his new life, he was curious, a quick learner and wasn’t afraid to get stuck in, which impressed Lee greatly, even when they had a few awkward encounters, like the naked man they found wearing a bear mask, sat at the dinner table. He died of a heart attack but there were many questions they wished they could have asked him but knew they shouldn’t.

Within a month Adder was finally able to do his tasks on his own, Lee started him in a small area, just to get him used to the pace of the job. Manhattan and the Bronx, both small areas to cover but both highly populated areas, a good test for the young apprentice who seemed eager to impress. Of course his first day alone was seemingly littered with hiccups. On his first job of the day, his scythe decided to fall down and become buried in a coffee table. Needless to say the soul wasn’t too impressed with Adder damaging his property, which made the transition into the afterlife for that soul, a tad awkward. He also had to endure a dog peeing on him whilst attending to another soul, as well as having various items thrown at him, ranging from cups of coffee to handbags and being called “That Skeleton bastard” time and time again. To top it all off when he came to return to the warehouse, he faded in short and ended up in the harbour, Lee helping him out.

“Guessing your first day went smoothly?” He asked with a gentle smile

“Oh you are funny” Adder says as he hauls himself out, with Lees help “It had to be the worst day ever”

“Funnily enough, my first time alone was also the worst…..I mostly encountered elders who enjoyed throwing rice”

“I’d rather rice than handbags, heels, books and in some extreme cases a yard brush”

“A yard brush? Oh we are privileged!” Lee mocked

“Stop” Adder grumbled as he squelched back into the warehouse

“Alright. By the way I made a Lasagne, Aquila gave me a recipe and a method...If you haven’t had it before, you are in for a treat”

“What…..What even is it?” “An Italian dish, with layers of pasta, Meat and cheese sauce. The last layer is a cheese topping”

“Sounds interesting, I’m always up for trying anything once” Adder responded, impressed with how Lee was continuously expanding his culinary skills “Just don’t try and sneak anything fish related in”

“I won’t, although seafood Lasagne can become a new-”

“Don’t even think about it!”

The comment led to a loud laugh that escaped Lee’s lips. There was no denying that he and Adder had developed a bond in that short time and for Lee it was more than welcomed. He finally had someone to cook for, someone to joke with and share stories, an interaction that he had missed greatly but he knew he wasn’t ready to tell him about what happened to the unit before him, yet at some point he knew that the time would come, not just to tell him about their demise but also when he would need to let them go, to achieve the promise that he kept, that he would make sure that their scythes were given to the right people.

Of course it wasn’t something he wished to think about right now, He occupied that thinking time with learning new dishes, training up Adder and creating art. He made sure that Adder didn’t see the inner turmoil that he faced, the difficult decision of when to let go and when to tell their story but for now he was going to focus on easing Adder into this life of reaping and making him an exceptional student, something he knew wouldn’t happen over night.

On the plus side, Lee felt Adder was ready to be told about the enemies of the reaper and whilst the other man showered, he pulled a thick book out from a concealed compartment in the floor. He blew the dust off the cover and wiped it down before carefully opening the book and smiling when he noticed the beautifully hand drawn pictures. They were drawn by himself and his clan members, a back catalogue of the monsters they encountered on their travels and they had seen some beasts, from Enenras which are monsters made of smoke, to the usual ghouls, shapeshifters, witches and Vampires or Jiangshi as the japanese knew them as. He smiled as he thought back on fond memories, remembering the times they fought as one to vanquish the beasts and protect human life.

He carefully traced each drawing with his finger while reading their descriptions underneath, written in traditional Japanese Kanji. They made sure to go into great detail when describing the monsters, noting traits, colours, appearances, behaviours and where their allegiances lay with the reapers, if they could be trusted or if they were to be feared. Surprisingly, from what he remembered, the vampires and Reapers had an understanding, they would leave each other alone unless one went rogue.

After half an hour Adder finally emerged from his shower, smelling fresher and in clean clothing, his nose picking up on the smell of food cooking, his stomach rumbling.

“Reaping don’t half make you hungry” Adder says as he sits down on the floor

“That it does, we will feast and then I must show you this” Lee replies as he pats the thick, leather bound book beside him.

“The hell is that?”

“An encyclopaedia on all the beasts and ghouls you will encounter during your time as a reaper”

“What? Like Mavis down Lexington avenue? Or like Werewolves and Vampires?”

“Werewolves, Vampires, Succubi, everything that is written in stories to scare the human mind, exists and since we are the keepers of the underworld, we have to make sure they stay in check” Lee says seriously

“You’re having a laugh” Adder says with a smirk on his face

But Lee wasn’t “Having a laugh” He was deadly serious. The ghastly creatures written in horror novels and appeared in many mythical tales, weren’t just the figments of the imagination of writers struggling to sleep. They were very much real and knew how to keep themselves hidden.

“The reason we exist is to keep the delicate balance of life and death.... Balanced. Every now and then the underworld and the heavens will produce something to test our resolve, which is why these creatures have been brought into existence, in the hopes that one side can overpower us and throw the world into disarray and yes, the heavens will occasionally bring an Angel down to keep an eye on us. We also have to compete with Supernatural hunters who will kill anything not human and display them as a trophy, including us. So yes, this may seem strange, bizarre and made up but the threat of these monsters are very much real and you need to take it seriously”

He pushes the book towards Adder and opens it up onto the first page of hand drawn illustrations. Each creature drawn and sketched looked like something to emerge from a fever dream, some were long, spindly creatures, alien in appearance and unnatural, some were colourful yet deformed and some were human in appearance, yet there was something slightly terrifying about them, like the spacing between the eyes.

Underneath the illustrations were brief descriptions of the monsters in Kanji, something Lee could read but not Adder.

“....Lee…...I can’t read this…. "Adder says, embarrassed with his lack of understanding of the other man's language.

" You don't need to read it, the pictures tell you all you need, although if you wish for a lesson in Kanji, I am more than willing." Lee responded with a child-like smile on his lips.

"It would be ignorant of me to refuse"

Lee's smile brightened as he nodded approvingly "Alright, I'll teach you the language of my ancestors, teach you my heritage of my people and maybe when I am long gone, you can teach others about the land of the rising sun and how we are all not the monsters you see in that book"

"I never said you were."

"No, you never but unfortunately others do… war can do that, can make people turn ugly, fills them with a burning hatred that can last hundreds of years… Maybe a millenia. Stories are passed down from generation to generation that are twisted with every telling and forgiveness can take a very long time."

"That's a very heartfelt speech there Lee, speaking from experience?" Adder asked, oblivious to what was happening in the world around him.

Lee just gave him a tiny smile before gathering up the empty bowls and taking them to the small kitchen.

"Pay attention to the world around you and you will see the hatred I speak of." He says calmly but the words carried weight behind them.

Adder was born in war, he was at the epicentre of a nuke dropped by the opponent, a warning that if they continue, more will come and yet he was oblivious. Oblivious to the death and destruction that was inflicted upon the world around him, the lives lost because one leader despised a race of people, blamed them for his country's misgivings and set out to eradicate them as a means to make his people stronger. Oblivious to the horrendous weapons created to kill one another, as mankind descended into a madness, hell bent on destroying one another. Oblivious to the seething hatred Lee's people faced every day due to the actions of their motherland's leader.

Adder's naivety was like that of a child being born into the world, innocent and pure. He'd like to keep it that way for as long as he can, but he knew the world was a cruel place and that one day Adder would learn of his roots and when he does, Lee hopes to be there to help him handle it. For now though he had to help him navigate this new world and pass on the teachings of those before him. Not an easy task considering the climate they were living in, where hatred ruled with an iron fist, a new way of living being carved out. Peace no longer existed, fear was the main ruler of this new cruel world and a reaper's life was to become even more chaotic and dangerous.

"Lee… How come I can't read Kanji, yet I understand you speaking it?" Adder asks, his voice breaking Lee's trail of thought and pinging him back to reality.

He studies Adder for a moment before giving him a slight smile "Because death is universal…" he says as he starts to clean the bowls and saucepans "There is no language barrier when it comes to death"

"Fair point" Adder replied as he continued to study the pictures in the book, trying to imagine what the beasts would look like in the flesh and shuddering at the thought of ever encountering them.

He had gone through the beasts, ghouls and spirits and was now onto the section that he could only assume was for demonic creatures. All of them looked horrific, some were oversized versions of the creatures that roamed the earth but with a hellish twist, some were human-like with notable features like horns, charred skin, demonic eyes or black wings and others were just not of this world entirely. All of them managed to get Adder’s attention but there was one that sent a shiver down his spine, the type of shiver that made your blood run cold.

The creature in question was human-like in appearance, but the eyes were blank, expressionless and empty. The hair was white yet the creature looked young and fresh faced, not aged and weary. Adder studied this drawing carefully, noting how fresh the ink looked in comparison to the others, a recent discovery that was possibly made by Lee. There was no description for this one, just the words "Banished" scratched angrily onto the page. Adder slowly lifted his head from the book and looked at Lee, who was busy arranging his bedding.

"Lee what is this creature" Adder asked as he turned the book round to show him."There's no description next to it just the words Banished"

Lee quickly flicked his eyes up to look at the creature in question and then froze the moment he saw the image presented to him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as a cold icy chill shot down his spine.

“A mistake” He growled

“Oh...well, it was in the book so I thought-”

“You thought wrong. That creature is a mistake” Lee growled as he strode over and snatched the book from Adder, slamming it shut and placing it under his arm “You have studied enough ghouls and monsters, time for you to make some tea and forget about this…..mistake.”

“But what if I encounter one-” “ENOUGH! No more talk about this…..Banished!”

Lee was never one to get angry, never one to have a snap reaction like that but there was something about that creature that caused immense fury from the man, a fury Adder never wants to see again.

[thedevillionaire]

Illusionary

Cerberus, Kia, domestic bedroom snz scene with a little magic, little romance? Hmm, yeah, sounds like me. 😏 --- Wrapped in a full-length darkest burgundy dressing robe, feeling somewhat refreshed but still more than a little coldhazy, Cerberus emerges post-shower to the sight of Kia, changed from her earlier black velvet bodice and jeans into a burnished deep gold satin negligee, lying on her stomach across the bed, head resting on her hands, attention fixed on the Testing papers in front of her. He pauses at the threshold, leans against the door frame to simply look at her awhile, silently enraptured, a soft smile on his face.

:Just so you know, babe,: Mindsends Kia, keeping her eyes on the papers, :it’s not possible for you to enter a room and not be noticed.: She glances back over her shoulder at him and grins wickedly. “You’d be a terrible spy.”

Cerberus chuckles, walking over to settle beside her on the bed. “Hard to argue given the circumstances, I suppose.” He toys with her hair, looking down at the papers. “Which Level are you applying for?” A light sniffle, and he frowns slightly, rubs his nose against an irritation rising anew.

“6.” Kia sighs. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I can get that, but…I don’t know, I’m not…evenly skilled across the options or something.” She rolls over to sit up, cross-legged. “There’s a bunch of stuff I can do really well, and some other stuff I’m…just not very good at, I guess.” She gives him a rueful smile. “But I think if I maybe…”

“What is it you’re not sure of?” Cerberus reaches across her and picks up the papers, flicking through them as he moves to sit leaning back against the bedhead, rearranging the array of pillows and cushions to suit. Another sniffle, more sharply this time and he recognises the battle as lost, his focus dissolving captive to undeniable need, and he turns from Kia in surrender to an adversary already his conqueror many times over today. “HHAHTSSCCHU! Damn it, I swear Healing deal in placebos. Comple…ehh-HH ..completely…hh… Ahh-HEHTSSCH-uu!” He sniffles again and fixes Kia with a look conveying irrefutable vindication, raises an eyebrow. “*snf!*Hm? As evidenced. Completely ineffectual,” he states with authority, and takes several tissues from the box on the bedside. “Excuse me a mome… hh-HH... Oh, for f… HHAHTSSCCHU! Ah, gods. *SNF!* Pardon me, love.” He blows his nose in an attempt to stop any further irritation, at least in the short term, though he holds very little faith in that regard, and incinerates the tissues in a flashblaze of aetherfire.

“Bless you, sweetheart,” Kia says, gently strokes his forearm. “I’m fairly sure the meds have helped a bit, though,” she suggests. “Compared to earlier, at least.”

“Oh, well, yes, I’m sure I’ve had at least ten minutes respite here and there,” mutters Cerberus sardonically, though he concedes to his bonded’s wry smirk quickly enough, places a kiss on her forehead. “Ah, I’m sorry, darkling. It’s just that as a rule, I’m rather fond of breathing.” Resting back against the pillows once more, he sighs again, absently rubs his nose, and returns his attention to the papers, making a quiet hum of thought as he flicks through them, in consideration.

“Sweetheart?” Kia, curious, shuffles up along the bed a little more to kneel beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, trying to read what he was reading. “What are you doing?”

Cerberus points to the skillset of Illusion, listed as a subcategory within Hypnotics, several thick and emphatic lines scrawled beneath it. “This is underlined because…?”

Kia scoffed. “Because I suck at it,” she says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I can do the basics, but…” She looks up at him, nestling into him, trailing absent patterns across his chest with her fingers. “It’s just…it’s like…you have to sort of direct what someone else sees, so it’s…putting your images into their eyes without actually seeingthrough their eyes, so you don’t know if it’s actually working, you just kind of have to hope for it, and I can’t figure out when it is working so then I get distracted and the whole thing pretty much falls apart.”

“It’s a skill Demonics covers as well.” Cerberus kisses the top of her head, draping an arm across her as he drops the papers in his lap.

Kia stares at him, taken aback. “You can do this?!”

“Well, I don’t use it widely, nor is it my forte, but…”

“Oh, oh, oh! Want to take my Test for me?” Kia gives him a playful entreating look. “Just, I don’t know, shapeshift or something. Is that a thing? You can do that, right? I’ll let you wear whatever you like. Oh my god, I bet you’d be super-hot as me.”

Cerberus collapses into laughter, and she laughs with him, her heart warming as it always does when he loses himself to delight, and particularly now, with him unwell. She repositions herself to settle beside him, kissing him tenderly as she does so, and picks up the papers in one hand, resting her other hand on his thigh. “Alright, alright, okay, I know. I’ll take my own stupid Test. It’s mostly Vampirism specific, anyway. But still…” A devilish grin darts across her face and she bats her eyelashes at him with exaggerated flirtation. :Super-hot.:

Smiling, Cerberus looks down and shakes his head in an ill-advised move that brings about yet another stark reminder of the throbbing sinus headache he’s only just managed to almost forget. He winces slightly and does his best to ignore it. Claiming the honeyed tea from the bedside tray, he reheats it with a touch, and takes a sip. “Well, darkling,” he says, “perhaps not quite that, um…absolute, but I certainly owe you any favours I can offer at this point, so if you’ll allow me—” He kisses her forehead. “—to revisit a request that you once asked of me… Drop your Protect.”

Kia’s eyes widen and she looks up at him, confused, curious. “Why? Do you even need me to?”

“No, love, technically I don’t. But I’d prefer to have your consent, if you’ll give it.”

“For what? I mean, sure, of course, babe, but…”

And then Kia loses her words, struck voiceless, astonished, and reaches her hand out to feel for a bed that is no longer there, finding instead only the soft moss and verdure of a rainforest glade, the gentle sensation of vivid greenery under her touch; lush, thick and rampant plantlife above her, beneath her, beside her, in sensory undeniability. She turns rapidly, looking everywhere around her, unable to comprehend what’s happening even as the very atmosphere changes, the dark, thick, wet scent of fernery, pines, rich soils, and peat surrounding her, immersive and entirely real, solid, incontrovertible. The sky darkens to gunmetal greyblue, stormclouded and windswept, and the crash of distant thunder seems to vibrate the air itself. Sky? But there can’t be sky. Where’s the…where’s the ceiling? What…

“Honey?” she asks, questioning, her own voice feeling like a foreignness, seeking her love who isn’t where he had been mere seconds ago, and she runs her hand along the bark of a nearby tree, one of several, the texture rough and actual, definite. She pushes it, pushes harder; it does not yield. The thunder echoes again, muted but resonant, a certainty, and the heavy cloudcover darkens with it, bringing further shadow to the dell. Shifting her position and reaching for familiarity does nothing to transform the verdant rolling hills back into the furniture she knows so well – oak and cast iron and ornate fabric lost to, consumed by, this wilderness she’s breathing. The landscape stretches out endless and impossibly vast; bedroom walls stay invisible, dissolved. There are no hard angles. No corners. Thunder once more but softer, as if moving away. Wisps of phosphorescence dartdance across thickets and brush, phantasmal. She curls her toes against some lichen at her feet.

:Know this, love,: Cerberus Mindsends almost as if in echo, in memory, to the bone, and Kia spins around to face him, seated beside her but on the opposite side to where she last saw him, dressed as if for a fog-covered moorside in a thick cable-knit sweater and fleecelined suede coat, which she knows is not possible this is not possible it cannot be possible how can he do this how can anyone oh my god definitely not reality but still the only tangible perception she can make, and she isn’t at all sure she can speak to him and she tries to see what she knows to be real, where she knows she must be sitting, but she simply can’t, and she plucks a honeysuckle flower off a nearby creeping vine that has to be fictitious and yet it somehow isn’t, marvelling as she turns it over in her hands, touching its petals, breathing its sweet perfume.

“You’re extraordinary,” she whispers, tears in her eyes.

:Close your eyes a moment, darkling, and immerse. Remember this. Understand this.:

And feeling the reassuring touch of his hand on hers, she closes her eyes as requested, reopening them after just a brief time to see again the bedroom that she’d logically known she’d never left, only then consciously recognising that he could not have taken her hand in that way from where she’d thought she’d seen him last, and she gazes up at him, open-mouthed in astonishment, for the shortest of moments before reaching up to trace her fingers along the contours of his face, almost as if to confirm his existence. “How are you even…” she murmurs in wonder, before calling herself back to reality somewhat.

She takes a moment to rebalance, breathes deeply, recentering. “Okay.” She exhales slowly. “Alright. Okay, that was…wow, that was completely amazing and… I love you but that was… If that’s what I’m meant to do… I mean, I could feel it. I held a flower. Fuck, babe. I have enough trouble even getting an image to form. A single image. You…you made a world. There’s no way I can do that.”

“You most certainly can, love,” counters Cerberus, “and, in fact, will. Should bring you up to a Level 8 grading, I’d imagine.” He presses his index finger then the back of his hand against his nose, frowning a little at a building itch, sniffling. “Excuse me. You just, um…recall the memory, enter in and redirect, adjusting for context. You’ll only be working with mortal capacity for resistance, also, if I recall the Vampirism protocol for this sort of thing correctly, so it sh…should be…” His breath hitches, the returning urgency stealing his sentence; he excuses himself with haste and turns from Kia, succumbing desperate, heavy, absolute. “AhhHEHTSSCHuu!”

“Bless you!”

He raises an index finger and gives the briefest shake of his head, brow creased, and frozen in thrall to the crescendo of oncoming need; he takes an imposed moment, expectant, and another, inhaling shallow scissored twice and over, then deep, deeper still.

And again.

“hh-HH… Hh-TSSCHhuu!”

And oh he does not want to concede, but again.

“HMPTch! HHKTchu!” His attempt at resistance proves no contest against the still insistent, overwhelming tickle, and he gives over completely this time, abandoning any further fight. “Hh-TSSCH-uu! ah-hh… AHHTSSCHUU! Ah, gods.”

Kia’s own breath comes a touch uncertain too as she purrs a honeytoned, “Bless you, sweetheart.”

Cerberus exhales tiredly, pushes silken ebony disorder back from his face with one hand while claiming several tissues with the other. “Thanks, love,” he murmurs, adding a sotto voce curse or two about the entire situation. “Pardon me.” He blows his nose, a little more gingerly now, sniffles again and sighs, repeats the process. Ridiculous.

A thought suddenly occurs to Kia that piques her interest far too much to not to ask it. “So, um…what would have happened if you’d sneezed during that whole…you know, ‘the bedroom is a forest now’ performance?”

Cerberus wipes his nose a final time before vaporising the latest used tissue collection. He chuckles quietly, clears his throat. “You’d best tell me, I think.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t, though. I would have…” Kia breaks off, examines her beloved’s expression with wary sidelong glance, considering whether there was any chance of...

No. With a faint scoff, she rejects the possibility, positive, confident. “No, you did not. There’s no way I don’t hear that.”

“If you say so, love.”

She frowns. “You’re right here. I am next to you in the bed.”

“Yes, it’s wonderful.” He flashes her a candid, disarming smile. “My favourite thing.”

Laughing, Kia pushes him in play. “Well, mine too, sweetheart, but that’s not what I meant and you know it,” she says before returning to her point. “You did not sneeze during that, though. No way. It just isn’t… Nope. You’re teasing me.”

“Well.” Cerberus once again brings newly steaming heat to the cup of tea with a touch, the very slightest of smiles crossing his face. “I admit that thunder is rather a cliché, but I didn’t have a great deal of time to consider intricacy of plot.”

“You di… But…” Kia stares at him in complete bafflement. “How?!”

“Illusion, darkling.” He stretches an idle arm across her shoulders, presses a kiss to her temple. “This is how it works.”

“Are you serious?!” Kia shakes her head in amazement. “God, do I even know what reality is?!” She gives a half laugh of incredulity, simultaneously astounded and utterly unsurprised at the variety of skills her beloved seems able to just call to command at will. “Okay, okay, and…so now because you…set me up, is that right, I can just, what, do that now? Oh. Ohh, whoa now, wait a second. Hang on.” She gives him a sly look, comprehension dawning. “Did you just do my homework for me?”

Cerberus laughs softly, a little darkly. “Consider it a crash course. Anyway, I know that you are in fact highly skilled in…not unrelated areas. I certainly know you can direct events. Your truly…outstanding talent with Immerse and Possess proves it. I suspect you just weren’t sure where to begin in this case.” He gives her a gentle smile. “You have an advantage, love. You should use it.”

Kia smiles back. “Oh, I’ll use you alright. I mean, use it.” She winks, laughing again. “I liked your mountain man look, by the way. Do you even have a cable-knit sweater?"

Cerberus raises an eyebrow. "What? You dressed me in a sweater?"

“I dressed you? What?"

“My direction only goes so far, darkling. Illusion involves a great deal of obfuscation, but it’s not a complete taking over. Some parts of it are nothing more than guidance, suggestions. And certain aspects are – I assure you – entirely of your own creation." He looks at her in nonplussed bemusement. “Really? Cable knit?”

“Navy blue, with a tan suede jacket,” Kia specifies with haughty precision before dissolving into laughter anew and doubly at the expression on his face. "I guess that’s what you get for setting everything in a forest. Come on, I was thematically accurate, at least.” She wipes away tears of laughter before meeting his gaze with conviction, points at him as if delivering an unarguable truth. “You looked hot as fuck, incidentally."

“I feel I’ve learnt something entirely new about you tonight,” Cerberus remarks, smiling briefly at her before suddenly turning away again, a couplet of fierce, unstoppable sneezes almost catching him unprepared absolutely, and he apologises with haste. “Hh-TSSCHH-uu! Ah-TSSCHH-uu! Goddamn it. *snf!* I have had more than entirely enough of this.” He sharply pulls another pair of tissues from the box, blows his nose again, immolates them afterwards with a burst of flame rather more emphatic than required.

“Aw, bless you, hon.” Kia tuts softly, strokes his hair back from his eyes, moves to sit across his lap, facing him. She traces a finely manicured nail down his neck, across his shoulder. “You know,” she nearwhispers, her tone softly teasing, “it wouldn’t kill you to wear a sweater once in a while.”

“I’m really not…”

Kia leans closer, purrs as if sharing the wickedest of secrets. “Denim jeans too.”

:Gods, love, who are you?: Cerberus Mindsends in shadowsnarl as he wraps a strong arm around his bonded and draws them together, claiming her mouth and kissing her with fire palpable.

:You know me, sweetheart.: With deft touch and feline grace, slightest shrug, Kia allows her negligee to smoothly fall away, returning her beloved’s kiss perfervid, wanting, infusing her reciprocal Mindsend with the same.

:Your favourite thing.:

----

[meandmyechoes]

Anime round-up!

Since I’m back on holiday mode, I burnt through anime at an incredible speed. I finish one each day haha. I followed much less anime the October season than the last, only Mieruko-chan was on the menu and I picked up the Taisho romcom out of boredom. They are alright. 

They are pretty similar but I like Summer’s Kuromaid better. The characters and setting are more interesting with a fantasy element and slight mystery. The flirtations are funnier over there with necessary touching and reflective moments. The Taisho romcom did make use of the titular time period and like it advertised, gives a more ‘pure’ story. Things are very rose-tinted. It was a bit, traditional fairy tale, old-fashioned day drama even - but in a heartwarming enough kill-time way.

Mieruko on the other hand, hits the passing mark but I have to knock a few points off for the excess sexy fanservice. It wasn’t like that in the original manga. You expect maybe some suggestive shots of Hana like the horror girl trope, but it distracts and i wasn’t sure i could continue three episodes in. Luckily the plot starts to pick up as it simultaneously hits your tear spot witht the famed Granny tale and Miko’s father. The scary elements are quite good though, so is the comedy. The monsters are ugly, relying on Miko’s indecision instead of jumpscare. Yulia’s misconception of Miko’s power was particularly funny. It’s off to a slow start, and perhaps not very climatic ending curtesy of the little and ongoing source material. Luckily it did not go off-track like another manga-adptation last season, Shadow House. I look forward to the rest of the story but not sure I do in anime form. Looks likely it’d get a S2. Checked out the manga in under an afternoon.

A shoutout to Uramichi Oniisan. Dark comedy about adulthood and capitalism is my jam. So, the first thing I binged is Vampire Dies in No Time. It was almost a PPT but i lauged out loud so much. Kind of pointless kind of loud, but it was a nice four hours spent.

I really looked forward to the music x battle theme of takt. op destiny before its release. After I finished it, I don’t, I don’t really know what to say. It doesn’t really make use of music itself all that much despite its speeches about how crucial it is. Regardless for its effective atmosphere and emphasis on the appreciation of music, unlimited to classical, the pacing was the biggest problem. I thought it would be all epic battles but it was a road trip but then the world’s ending??? Well, I saw the pretty people on the poster and started watching, but I clicked on the second episode and was all ??? over my head and was like ‘so it’s maho shoujo + pokemon’ but the road trip wouldn’t end and i’m like ‘is this going to stay a character-based sitcom what a waste of worldbuilidng we saw little of’ and episode 11 hits me like a truck and i’m. not quite sure how the boss’s plan world but i guess his motiviation is okay-conveyed geh. The moment I learned it was a prequel to the mobile game its mess makes a lot more sense. But I am concerned about how good a job it does for promoting the game when it’s not really about the same characters. You could even say the emotional core from the anime is not going to get their happy ending. I’m kind of used to these goodbyes so I’m ok, I just feel like, the whole thing is a bit wasted potential. So say if it’s an original anime it’d be even more disappointing. The characters and designs are charming though, so if you come for Madhouse and MAPPA’s visuals, you definitely get your money’s worth. Still worth a watch I’d say, the first nine episodes are pretty good, but better spoil yourself first. That op is a banger though. The exact mix of sensory overload and soothing.

I am not a fan of isekai but since I watched Katarina in April I’m more open to it. Realist Hero fits my expectation that it presents a simplified but plausible manual for rebuilidng a medieaval magic kingdom’s economy. The worldbuilding is surprisingly solid with interspecies/international tension and real-life conflicts like natural disasters. It wasn’t heavy on the comedy like it does with building a harlem but stay focused on the drama of revolutionizing the goverment structure. I can pretend I learnt something. Will be following this season ‘cause I have nothing better to do haha. There’s one with similar permise where the prince is trying to increase the kingdom’s value so to sell it and retire at 25. That one is more sitcom and dumb luck so let’s see.

Started Komi-san Can’t Communicate today. Love it so far. Clever use of the manga panelling and on-screen text effects. The dialogues aren’t bare. Funny and a varied and distinct cast. Look forward to finishing it.

For this season, my money’s on Sono Bisuku Dōru wa Koi wo Suru. Yeah, I don’t know why i’m making myself watch romcoms three seasons in a row. But this show is as close to made for me with a protagonisht who loves to sew and make his own dolls and an anime lover. The first episode is really pretty and smooth. I’d binge it if it’s all release haha.

Another one I had a delight in is Kuroitsu-san from the Monster Development Dpeartment. Yeah! Tokusatsu Saikou! And they featured real local heroes I couldn’t be more proud. I had a great time with Heaven Design this season last year and I only expect it to be even more up my alley with specific tropes and similar realist comedy like Uramichi Oniisan or Hataraku Saibou Black. But even more niche haha.

[avversiera-writes]

‘till death do us part - chapter 2 [tobirama senju/you]

Chapter 2 - Union

Summary: In which there are many preparations to make for the wedding, and Tobirama has a hard time keeping his brother in check.

Words: 4.3k

A/N: Merry Christmas! I try to keep everything under 5k TT

Also available on AO3. 

<< Chapter 1 - Allegiances  

Eight months later…

Because for some reasons beyond your understanding, you are not allowed to see Tobirama days prior to the wedding. It is in accordance with the Senju clan traditions, and while you are very happy to adapt to their customs and whatnot, this part seems so absurd to you. You are really beginning to miss that scowling face of your betrothed, and you have not even married yet. 

  Then again, maybe this is why such a tradition exists. Time and distance do make the heart grow fonder.

  All you can do is busy yourself with teaching kenjutsu at the Academy part-time, more reading and bride preparations with Mito, and advising your newly Chunin students, since you cannot run missions with them while you wait to be married. The three of them seem to enjoy their newfound autonomy from you, and while you worry for them, you are glad that they are learning to be on their own. 

Fortunately, you had found a friend in your future sister-in-law, Uzumaki Mito. 

  While she can be firm and strict, you find that you can easily open up to her and even joke around with her, as you tend to do to diffuse any negative feelings in the air. You couldn’t help it. Humor is always a comforting fallback when everything feels bleak. 

  "Are you alright?" Mito asks, as she helps you fit into your wedding robes. "You seem preoccupied." 

  You shrug. "I guess I am nervous." 

  Mito smiles and brushes your hair aside. "I'm sure he is, too." 

"Did you also go through these traditions?" 

  Mito tampers down a smile. "Not all of them. You are kind of the first big event for the family in a while. Even my eldest son did not get such grandeur for his wedding." 

  You raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

  "Hashirama insists on throwing you and Tobirama a huge celebration, and well, back then, we were at war. I was married young, and my focus was on helping my husband, the tailed-beasts, our young village and alliances. And raising our firstborn son." 

  "Sounds like a full plate." 

Mito chuckles. "It was." 

  You let out a small, nervous laugh. "I hope I am not letting you all down or anything. I did not live in the same circumstances. I couldn't possibly relate." 

  "Oh, how preposterous. We are happy that you are marrying into our family. You need not to worry." 

You smile discreetly, touched by Mito’s words. "I am flattered, thank you." 

  Mito turns you around by the shoulders and studies you. "Please take care of Tobirama. You know how he is." 

Mito hums and meets your eyes, back to her serious self. "Now, would you like your hair up or down?" 

//

When Hashirama is not attending to his Hokage duties or taking care of his family, he is nowhere to be found except in places where his vices are exacerbated. If no one is there to keep him in line, he passes his time by getting inebriated wherein he can barely put one foot in front of the other, or his new favorite past-time: gambling. 

  Tobirama, as much as he has refined his sensory skills, cannot find his elder brother. 

  Which means that he really does not want to be found. 

  However, he always knows where Hashirama will end up. He just has to follow the paper trail of new debt and hearsays from the common folk that are now residing in the village. 

  Tobirama is not angry, but he is frustrated that his brother refuses to get his act together. It has been months, and the year is almost about to end but his brother is still caught up with Madara’s desertion, and it is hindering his job as Hokage. Tobirama can only do so much to support his elder brother, and while he will never give up on him, the job gets challenging when he has to be there to guard his brother’s decisions and thoughts. 

  Tobirama will let him wallow in his grief, but he cannot allow him to sabotage the very village that he had dreamt of establishing. 

This was his dream, and Tobirama has sought to make sure that it will stand for the future generations to come. 

  It does not help that Hashirama keeps throwing money on him to ensure that his wedding is a huge spectacle in the village. He would have liked it to be a small family affair, but Tobirama just wants to do whatever he can to make his brother feel better. The truth is, Hashirama is a pretty good gambler, but as always, he takes uncalculated risks that empties his pockets at the end of the night. When he does not want to quit, he ends up taking from their clan’s money and the village’s coiffers.

  Tobirama has no choice but to keep reprimanding him, and while it is one of his many specialties, it is not easy to do so. He understands so well that his brother is hurting that it frustrates him to no end. 

  Mostly because he has no remedy for this but time. A concept that he continuously battles with. 

It is nearing midnight, and Tobirama still has not found his brother. He wishes to converse with him, especially now that he is about to delve into another chapter of his life, but their brotherly talks have been scarce, and sometimes Tobirama can still sense that Hashirama still holds a small amount of resentment towards him. 

  Tobirama cannot really blame him. What he feels most guilty of, is that he is, to put it simply, happy and if he goes on his merry way, what will become of his brother? How is he in a better place when his own blood is suffering? 

  It is not fair. 

Tobirama wants to help him, wants to fix it all to make it better, because that is who he is. He is the one who has the solutions and the formulas and the theories. He is supposed to be the one to look out for his brother, to take care of him because this has been the way things were since they were little. He is supposed to make sure that Hashirama has a reasonable voice beside him. He wishes he knows what to do in order to comfort him, or maybe he just wants to be forgiven and hear those words from him. 

Despite the lateness of the night, the streets are quite energetic and bright. There are still many people milling around, some rowdy and some enjoying the activities that the night can only bring out. 

  Tobirama passes by a few active stores, and he tries to shut out the overwhelming smells and noises and the icky feeling on his skin that appears when he is in a crowded place, or when he is particularly in overdrive mode. He is glad that he is wearing his long, tight-fitted clothes, or he would have screamed if someone accidentally brushes past him. 

  Well, as loud as a stubborn person like him can scream. 

Tobirama takes a deep breath and he concentrates so that he can try again. He infuses his chakra, and starts to expand his scope, little by little, and examines the chakra signatures around him. He breaks them down, like he might a puzzle or a new object he has discovered and he holds them up for observation. He looks to the places where no one might go, listens in to spaces where no one can be heard. 

  The rest of the physical world falls away, and he connects himself to every temperamental presence surrounding him. Even those who can disappear does not mean they are completely invisible. 

  He feels the whole village in him, can count those who are sleeping and those who are still awake. He senses you as he is drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and his heart releases a tender breath, a fact that he will keep hidden from you and anyone else. 

  He keeps going.

Then, Tobirama catches a blinding presence and he zeroes in like a hawk. 

His eyes go towards the Hokage mountain, where his brother’s face is carved like a watchful god. He lets out a hefty sigh and takes to the rooftops to get to where his brother is. 

He arrives silently, and makes himself as quiet and small as possible. He hides in the shadows, and he glances at his elder brother, who is sitting on the ground and staring at the distance. The gentle breeze that passes without a pattern picks up strands of his hair and carries it along the way, for however long the breeze blows. 

  The night engulfs them like a blanket, and Tobirama waits on his elder brother, for as long as it takes. 

//

Things begin to look up two days before the wedding. 

  However, Tobirama is a mess. More than his usual mess. 

“Brother, you are getting married in a couple of days,” Hashirama chides, purposely messing up Tobirama’s weapons and the supplies he is trying to pack. “This is no time for a mission.”

  Tobirama presses his lips together into a grim, tight line. He still keeps moving around, eyes focused on his task and trying his hardest not to explode at his brother. 

“I am not going on a mission,” Tobirama looks down at his hands, which are trembling slightly. Then, he gives his brother a pointed look. 

  “Then, why all this fuss?” Hashirama raises a kind eyebrow. 

Tobirama keeps mum, and he glares at the mess his elder brother made. He was only trying to organize his things into one place so that he will know where to find them when he has moved into his newly-wed house. 

  "These are for the new house, so I won't lose them," Tobirama sighs and his forehead knits. "Elder brother…"

  Hashirama clasps his younger brother’s shoulders and steadies him. He tries to meet his gaze, but Tobirama’s eyes are somewhere else, and he looks to see that they are apprehensive, not because he does not want to marry this woman that he had courted despite his restrictions on himself, but because he is uncertain of what is to come. Tobirama never likes uncertainty. This is not like those battles he had fought that were full of surprises. At least he would know how to act and adapt. 

  Whereas, now. 

  “I do not have much to give her,” Tobirama confesses quietly, looking down at his feet. 

Hashirama’s face morphs into surprise. While it is not strange for Tobirama to confide with him, this catches him off guard since Tobirama is opening himself up to him with his doubts. 

  "Are you nervous?" Hashirama asks. 

Tobirama glares at his brother as if asking him such a question is a crime. 

Hashirama’s face softens and he looks towards the opened shoji doors. He takes a few seconds to answer, taking his time to look at the night sky that blanketed the village they founded with blood, sweat and tears. 

"You can protect her, provide to her a home...a family."

  Tobirama takes his hand to clutch the other hand and keep it from shaking. Sometimes, when he is not in battle, his hands shake randomly. Sometimes, it is aggravated by his inability to manage his emotions.

  For someone who teaches and practices the ways of controlling emotions, there are just times when it comes out like water leaking out of a dam with several holes. Tape one shut and another appears. 

"Besides, she agreed to marry you. She might have seen something past your handsome face.” 

  Tobirama rolls his eyes. "Elder brother, stop it." 

Hashirama bursts out laughing, and Tobirama smiles despite himself. It has been a while since they shared a laugh. 

"Do not worry," Hashirama reassures him and reaches for his shoulder. “Just be happy, brother.” 

Tobirama blinks. Happiness is so tangible, yet a matter he never tried to pursue. After all, what happiness can he strive for when he is at war? Then again, things have been relatively peaceful. Perhaps, he can try. As much as his sense of logic can let him. 

//

The day finally comes, that you will see the man you have been waiting for. It feels like you have not seen Tobirama in forever, and the longer the procession drags on, the more you grow impatient. You really miss the bastard, and you keep looking around just to get a glimpse of him and hurting your neck in the process because of the heavy headdress that you have allowed your hair to be subjected to. 

  You and Tobirama are in the same house, preparing and waiting for the wedding to commence, and yet, he still feels so faraway. 

  At this point, just seeing his hand might even light you on fire. 

  You honestly cannot wait. 

Your heart thuds in anticipation, as you wait with Mito at the entrance of a hallway that you are supposed to walk through. You know that Tobirama is doing the same at the other side with his brother, and the two of you will meet in the middle, in front of the altar, and where the rest of the clan members and a select few are invited, waiting to witness the wedding. 

  It has been agreed on that the wedding will be quiet, but the celebration will be a pompous one. However, the attention paid to the details are hard to miss. Your robes are white with gold stitches running up and down to make a few elegant cranes, no doubt commissioned from the best seamstresses in the village. The decorations are surreal, with colorful flowers lining your path, or curling up the posts holding, and from here, you can glimpse at the altar, which is situated under an arc of tree branches braided into one another. 

  Small doves fly past your heads, signalling you to start walking. To your left, Tobirama also begins to walk, mirroring you. 

  You synchronize your steps with him, and slowly, you are facing each other and walking towards each other. You finally meet him, and he is only a step away. 

  Tobirama stares straight at you, his focus only on you. His face is as composed as he likes to present it, but his eyes are brimming with a storm. You meet them dead on, because come what may, you are like a rock, unmoving and powerful enough to break apart crashing waves. 

Two of Tobirama’s nephews come forward, bringing three cups of sake on each porcelain tray. The priest at the altar comes forward, wearing his ceremonial robes, and he begins to speak. 

Funny enough, most of it falls deaf to your ears until Tobirama is staring at you with disbelief, no doubt preparing to lecture you in your own private time.

  Tobirama takes the first cup of sake meant for you and hands it to you, and you accept meekly. 

The priest holds out his hands towards the cup. “As you take a sip of this cup, do you promise to honor each other, to fight for one another and to be each other’s advocate?” 

  “I do,” Tobirama says, his voice rings in the air, though he only said it in his strict and quiet tone. 

  “I do.” 

  And the two of you drink the cup. 

You take the second cup, as did Tobirama. 

  “Do you promise to let go of your past in order to forge a new path for your future, to set aside differences and grow with each other, and learn to be compassionate and open to each other?” 

  “I do.” 

“These last cups–” the priest gestures, and then he picks the last cups up. Then, he pours them between the ground between the two of you and hands them back to you. “–symbolizes you as individuals. Today, you are now one.” 

  The priest re-fills the cups to the brim. 

“For as long as you are one, your cups shall never empty. Never will you walk alone again, and burden yourself with the throes of life on your own. You are man and wife, woman and husband, a union of equals as of this moment from now on.” 

You and Tobirama drink the last cup, and set it down on the trays. 

“Until death do you part,” the priest concludes. 

“Until death do us part,” Tobirama repeats, and you do the same. You stare into his eyes, completely enthralled. 

The priest takes Tobirama’s hand and yours, and he joins them. “Now, let each other in by letting your power flow through each other.” 

You close your eyes and gasp, as Tobirama’s chakra flows into your veins, and you feel him, in such an intimate way that you are moved to tears. Never had you let anyone inside you like this, not even those who are closest to you. Tobirama envelops you like kindled fire, and you are given a new sense of power. This must be what Mito had meant when she had said that she was able to give Hashirama more power. 

  You do the same with Tobirama, and he grips your hand as he lets you in. 

Then, you open your eyes, completely energized. It is like you are seeing a whole new world. 

“It is finished,” the priest announces, and the audience, which you have forgotten about explodes with applause. 

//

  The rest of the Senju clan follows you and your new husband to Hashirama’s house, where the celebration of your wedding will commence. The procession goes through and around the village, a procession worthy of the Shodaime Hokage's brother. People look on and cheer, some throw flowers, rice or beads, and children dance around the streets. Claps and sounds of joy erupt from every corner of the village, and your heart catches at your throat. 

  Mito was right when she told you there wasn’t much to celebrate in their family in a while. Your family now. 

  Beside you in the carriage, Tobirama is not exactly stiff, but is not exactly relaxed either. It seems like he is expecting somebody to come jump at him any moment now, but he is not trying to make it obvious. You glance at him, debating whether you should grab his hand but there is no need to ponder anymore when you find his hand inching towards yours, and then winding his fingers through yours. 

  You hear Tobirama sigh in relief, and you smile softly. Like in the wedding ceremony, you feel his chakra intertwine with yours and you close your eyes from the sensation. It is something so new but so familiar at the same time. You spend the rest of the ride in silence, and when the carriage stops, Tobirama gets off first, and then waits for you outside. 

  As you begin to step down, he grabs you by the waist and lowers you to the ground. 

  Pretty soon, the two of you are lost in the background music and the chatters of the people. It is a huge party, almost everyone is invited or passing through to get food and to congratulate the newlyweds. 

  You get rid of your heavy headdresses and opt for a simple style that keeps the hair away from your face. You did not want to injure your neck any further.

  You stick close to Tobirama, your husband , knowing that if you leave his side, he will get very agitated or retreat into himself. 

  Husband , you think with a smile. It is such a new word, but something that feels just right when you are near Tobirama. 

Even though it is also his day, he does not generally do well in huge, loud crowds. As a shinobi having a gift for sensory abilities, too many people in his space gets him overwhelmed too quickly, especially when he loosens up. You know that Tobirama is skilled and being around his brother who seems to have an endless reserve of chakra has honed his sensory skills, but there are too many incoming noises and smells and there are just too many colors and lights around him. 

"Let’s get out of here," you suggest to Tobirama. 

Tobirama glances around, hesitation clouding his features. "This party is for us." 

You hold back a smile. Of course, you know that he will commit to this event until the end, but you can sense his growing discomfort. 

You lean closer, and Tobirama stiffens, pulling his arms closer to his body. 

  “You okay?” You ask. You reach out to his arm and you squeeze it. Your hand barely compares to his arm. 

  Tobirama nods, but you know that he is only like this for you. You have learned long ago that his sincerity goes way beyond his words and that makes you fall in love with him even deeper. A long time ago, you would have never seen how considerate he is, but you have learned to look within. 

So, you do what you have to do. 

“Don’t we have to travel after this?” You continue, and then you smile. “I can hardly wait for you to take me on our wedding bed.”

  Tobirama’s eyes widen in alarm and he looks around, clearly embarrassed. “Stop being ridiculous.” 

  You raise an eyebrow, and you purposely make your voice louder. “So no taking me–”

  Tobirama grabs your arm, and all the noise around you abruptly ends and the atmosphere quiets. 

  Your husband slowly lets go of you, and you turn to him with a smile. 

  “Eager, aren’t you?” You tease him. 

“You need to stop doing that,” Tobirama chastises, but you hear his embarrassment through his posturing annoyance. 

  You grin cheekily, having accomplished your goal to get him to a much quieter place. You look around and you realize that you are inside the house that will be your new home after you return from your honeymoon. The house is still bare of what makes it a home for the two of you, since your things need to be moved here, but there are already furniture and ornaments around, probably a courtesy of Hashirama. He has been spending worrying amounts of money these days. 

You take a deep breath, and it dawns to you that you are really alone with Tobirama and you suddenly feel shy. The atmosphere between the two of you is not exactly awkward, but it seems like the both of you are out of words at the moment. 

“I do not know how to do this,” Tobirama murmurs quietly after a long time of looking anywhere but each other. 

  You detect a slight quiver in his voice. 

  You, being you, of course, in order to lift up the serious moment cracks a joke. “What? The consummation part?” You ask. “Contrary to popular belief, I also do not know how.”

Tobirama stares at you, unimpressed. 

You smile sheepishly and then you quiet down to let silence descend upon the two of you. Tobirama takes his time stringing his words together, and you watch his face, picking up on the subtle twitches and softening. 

  “I will not be the best husband, nor be the best man for you,” Tobirama starts, his voice low and like velvet to your ears. “But I will do everything I can to protect you and to provide for you. I will do right by you, this I promise with all my life.” 

You press a hand on his chest, and you look up into his eyes. “And I promise that I will take care of you, and stand by your side even if the world turns on you. I will be there, no matter what.” 

  Tobirama winds an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. Then he lifts you up, until you are sharing the same breath as him. He looks down at your lips, and you watch his pretty, white eyelashes flutter. 

  “Until death do us part,” he murmurs so tenderly that it nearly melts your heart. 

  You meet those sincere, red eyes. You notice how unguarded he looks. This is truly the first time you have seen him without any walls. It is quite rare, and you want to capture it in your mind forever.

  “Until death do us part,” you say back to him, and you lean forward to steal his lips. 

Tobirama freezes momentarily, but he overcomes it and he returns the kiss, even more passionately than you began it. He seizes your waist and pulls you even closer up to him, and he deepens the kiss further. Your chest against his fight for the space to expand, but air is not a necessity when you are desperately breathing him in, pulling him even closer into you. 

  You pull away, and Tobirama looks at you questioningly. He looks...almost soft. 

“Come on, let’s check out our bedroom,” you murmur and you tug on the front of his clothes. 

  Tobirama looks away and he grips your waist. 

  You grab his hand to lead him forward and Tobirama plants his feet to the ground like a child unwilling to get up when throwing a tantrum. 

“What?” You prompt, and Tobirama squeezes your hand. You look down at your joined hands and suppress a giggle. “We’re married now, aren’t we? We have to get to the best part.” 

  Tobirama glares at you. “Stop making fun of me.” 

“You signed up for it,” you retort. 

  Tobirama looks peeved. “That’s fair.” 

“Now, come on,” you smile beguilingly, and when you drag him towards the direction of your new bedroom, he follows willingly. 

To be continued...

Chapter 3 - Love Like You >>

[hargrove-mayfields]

Currently I am working on a fic about how Christmas of ‘85, her first in a long time without Billy there, goes for Max, but my progress is going kind of slow. The goal is to have it posted by the 31st, but we’ll see. 

To keep myself from getting discouraged, here are just a few more things you can expect to see from me that I’ve started and am trying to finish! (below the keep reading)

I have two five and ones going, one about Billy’s ex girlfriends and his lackluster dates versus how he treats Steve, the other is five like, sort of trials, I guess, that his conscience puts him through while he’s in a medically induced coma after Starcourt, and then what happens when he wakes up! (The second one is sort of A Christmas Carol-ish, in a way) 

A powers!Billy au where he was one of the kids from the MKUltra experiments, but Terry helps his mom to escape and she takes Billy away to Cali in hopes of giving him a normal childhood. Neil moves them back to Hawkins once Billy is almost an adult, and he has to remember everything about himself! His powers are the ability to make anybody do anything he wants by giving them commands (similar to Allison from The Umbrella Academy) and he is 006! 

There’s a really long and really sad fic I have going where Billy survives Starcourt, but never makes it out of the hospital and it follows Steve in his grief after he dies. 

Role Swap au where Steve is a rich boy getting sent to the rural Midwest to be taught a lesson about humble beginnings, and Billy is the presiding king of Hawkins. Steve tries to dethrone him repeatedly, but it never seems to work, and things get more and more tense until they finally have a confrontation!

Soulmates AU where you have a tattoo on your wrist of your soulmates initials in their handwriting. Steve thinks that Barbara Holland is his soulmate and tries to shoot his shot with her, but then after she dies his tattoo doesn’t fade and he gets a little desperate (and heartbroken, for Barb and for himself). Cue Billy Hargrove rolling into Hawkins and Steve getting obsessed, determined not to let this one slip through his fingers like Barb! (I know that technically Billy’s initials are probably W.H. but I think that since soulmates are magic anyways it can use his preferred name over William)

A pair of fics that go together which show Billy being in Steve’s room for the first time, and Steve being in Billy’s room for the first time. (I promise it’s completely innocent, the first one is pre-slash anyways.) 

A huge au where Billy is there to pick Max up instead of ditching her the day that Dart goes missin, so helps the kids look for him. This gets him dragged into the upside down stuff, because Dustin remembers that he helped look for Dart and makes him help him with the Demodogs at the junkyard. It’s basically just a rewrite of st2 if Billy had been involved, and it has a sequel that’s st3 but if Billy was in the Scoops Troop!

I have a multi-chapter that involves Steve’s hearing being severely damaged during the battle at Starcourt from all the fireworks going off and head trauma from the Russians, and he makes it a routine to go and visit Billy after his appointments with the hearing specialist are over. 

A second chance sort of thing where the mindflayer counted on being defeated and basically made a backup save, hence the clones in the upside down, and Billy’s death at the battle causes the week to reset to the day he gets possessed, meaning they have another chance to stop everything before it happens. What the mindflayer does not take into account was Billy and the others remembering what happened and trying even harder to beat it! Race against the clock, angst piled upon angst, what’s not to like!

I also have some smaller stories, some are only a few chapters while others are basically just one shots, like: 

A character study about baby Billy coming out to his mom

Steve has to babysit Holly on short notice and Billy helps

Some backstory behind the kissy mark on Billy’s sleeve

Billy’s pendant breaking and the meltdown that ensues

A short and not so sweet story about the consequences of Starcourt on Steve’s mental health (very depressing and triggering) 

A birthday party for Billy while he’s still in the hospital, where Steve makes the kids help him to make Billy’s cake!

Observations about little quirks/mannerisms they pick up from each other after they start dating

Heather and Billy are bffs, and she encourages him to make a move on Steve while they’re on break (features some bucklway)

Steve and Robin becoming friends sooner because he gets kicked out and asks if he can stay with her. They have a sleepover type thing where they play twenty questions and be goofy! 

Autistic Max who really wants a dog! (p.s, literally every time I write Max she’s going to be autistic, but most of the time I won’t mention it unless it’s relevant to the plot! This fic is very heavily focused on sensory issues+her feelings around her confusing friends and family, so it’s definitely pretty important to bring up for this one!) 

Oh and I also have about 50 other wips/concepts just sitting around in my docs, but a lot of those will probably never become fully fleshed out stories. 

[afoolforatook]

Ticklish Fairgame (teaser, I guess....)

So I had a Discord convo the other day that got me on a Fairgame and tickles rant... and I want to share all of it, but a good bit is gonna be in a later chapter of Loving... but I had to share some, cause it’s so damn soft and it’s all I’ve been thinking about. 

So here’s some notes from part of my rant.... (there’s also some stuff from this rant about more SPD stuff and fidgeting/stimming but I’ll find a place for that later...)

In response to “Qrow would do better in a tickle fight because of experience from Ruby and Yang tickle fights when they were little” - 

Bold of you to assume it was Ruby and Yang who made him build up a tolerance....when he lived with teenage Taiyang Xiao Long.

That man has some major "I will tickle my grumpy goth roomie until he admits he likes having friends" energy. Not to mention Summer. 

......

Okay but at first I didn’t know how Qrow would be with tickling.

Because, as much as I love the STRQ Beacon years tickle/pillow fights image, where Qrow and Raven first really learn how to let loose and have friends and be vulnerable.  And the co-parenting/poly STRQ, however you wanna see it, of Branwen/Rose/Xiao Long family tickle piles with the kids.

There’s also a big part of me that sees him reallly not being a huge fan of tickle fights.

It might just be me projecting (a shock, I know) but I can't help but feel like Qrow is one of those people who is extremely EXTREMELY ticklish. To the point where most of the time it's not fun but exhausting. 

I was totally that kid/teen who everyone thought it was adorable how ticklish I was, and would just rush me all at once, trying to be cute and fun. But it was very easily wayyyyy too much, and I'd practically hyperventilate from sensory over-stimulation. My older cousins learned very early not to tickle me when I was a toddler, because I would just immediately start crying. I did not get angry as a kid very often, and many of the few times that I did were because I had to yell in order to get people to stop, because they didn't take me seriously. I was also just extremely sensitive all the time. Any touch that I didn't see coming (and even many I did) and that wasn't solid pressure would have me jump and make my skin crawl. My parents weren’t at all surprised when I got my SPD diagnosis, cause they were like “yeah by the time you were ten we knew there were ways we should and shouldn’t touch you if you didn’t know we were there, because you would just flinch and freeze up and shake and have to have no one touch you at all until you relaxed.” (This wasn’t at all a trauma response, it was purely just a kind of sensory input that I was particularly sensitive to) One of my best friends in high school surprised me by just barely nuzzling the back of my neck with his nose and I actually screamed. Needless to say, I don’t really like tickle fights.

And I feel like touch-starved, spy, intimacy wary, Qrow would be a lot like that and just get overwhelmed pretty quickly. (especially when he was younger and leaving the tribe, where I doubt there was much gentle contact to get him used to it, or teach him not to be ready to fight at the tiniest sign of a threat...)

Like yeah, he'd be adorable for a second, but pretty quickly that would turn to actual stress and panic. He'd jump and practically squeal at tiny innocuous touches, and you'd think it was cute until you saw how genuinely startled and frazzled he was.

And at first I couldn't reconcile that with the STRQ family moments that I like the idea of so much...

But the thing is, they're both true.

With team STRQ, he probably had a lot of that aversion early on. And Tai and Summer picked up on it and didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. But they'd still want to help him relax.

I’d think that Summer at least, if not both of them, would try to ask him outright at first. “Qrow, does it bother you when we try to touch you? Do you want us to stop.” But they’d quickly have realized that he wasn’t going to just tell them that, not yet. They were still practically strangers. He’d just shrug it off and grumble about not caring either way and slump off. But she’d noticed the split second of panic before he covered it up. 

So they paid attention to how he’d react to casual contact. What made him flinch and what didn’t. What got a laugh and what got a held back yelp. What made his shoulders tense and what made them relax.

(Also, I think Raven is similar, though not necessarily for sensory reasons. I think she just, didn’t expect or want that kind of open contact most of the time. The first time Tai tried to do anything even close to tickling her, his arm was immediately in a death grip and she just deadpanned ‘Again and you’ll lose it.’ I think she eventually would get in on some more play wrestling, but I think her physicality in relationships was very much always on her own terms. So the STRQ tickle fights were really only ever STQ with maybe a rare exception.) 

And slowly, as Qrow got more comfortable with them, as he stopped trying to escape group hugs and cuddle piles (which they always let him have the ability to do so if he wanted/needed), they figured out what were good and bad touches. 

He’d let Tai drape over his shoulders and ruffle his hair, as long as he was putting some significant but gentle weight on him. Summer wouldn’t nuzzle at the crook of his neck but just drop her head over on his shoulder while sitting on the couch. He even started to stop balking at the idea/proximity of tickle fights. Summer and Tai would get into a play argument and soon be a blur of arms and legs trying to push the other away and both calling for Qrow to help them. 

And he’d finally stopped scooting further away or leaving the room when that started. He’d chuckle lightly. Eventually, he’d even make some quip about so and so starting it and having to learn to take responsibility for your choices (Not at all in a mocking tone, of course not Summer, why would you even think?!..)

So, as they got closer and understood Qrow’s sensitivities better, tickle fights were never just that. There was always enough grounding pressure of hugs or falling on top of one another or playing with his hair to balance it out. 

I think the first time he actually didn’t try to get away, both Summer and Tai got a little caught up at first and, while still being conscientious of what they were doing, they didn’t actually realize “hey, he’s not running or slipping away from us.”

Whoever realized first probably stopped the other and they pulled away (though still leaving some kind of pressure contact), looking over at Qrow. One of them’d ask something along the lines of ‘Sorry, do you want us to stop?” 

And he’d blush or stammer, rub his neck or no... maybe he’d just freeze for a moment before getting a big grin and diving forward to tickle Summer and say ‘What, you that scared of me winning, huh, pipsqueak?” and the fight would resume. But Tai and Summer were still aware of Qrow’s demeanor, and as soon as he’d tense or shiver one of them would tackle him playfully. 

And once the girls were born, and old enough to start with the horseplay themselves, they’d have taught them those rules too, even if just subliminally.

“Yang, Ruby, don't just run up to him and poke him in the side, just so you can watch him jump and then run away. Tackle him, hang onto his legs, GET EM!”

Sometimes, especially when the girls were really little, it might have gotten too much. But he'd either be able to slip away after and unwind, or better yet, the girls would tire themselves out and want to curl up pressed to his chest and take a nap. And that pressure, their warmth and softness and trust would make his skin stop crawling. 

But then Summer died and he started staying away more. He started isolating himself more again. And pair that with having to be alert on solo missions and spy work, and he quickly went back to the old jumpiness.

He became very good at not letting people sneak up on him, both in battle and on missions...and at home.  On the somewhat rare occasions that he was home and awake/sober enough when the girls still wanted to play with him, he'd put on a strong face and rough house for a bit, but by then he almost always had to slip away, transform just for long enough so that he’d stop being so aware of the tiniest breeze on his skin (he might be just as sensitive, or more so, in his corvid form, but I think that would be in a much more positive and simpler way than normal... if he’d ever let people touch him in that form, that is..) 

But as the girls got older, they quietly understood the subtle signs that told them what were the good and bad ways to show their uncle affection. 

I'm thinking Ruby jumping onto his arm in V3. Still very touchy, affectionate. But diving for his arm instead of his waist, literally putting all her weight on him. I’d have to look back through other hugs or moments to better speak to them, but as far as I can remember off the top of my head, the softest we’ve seen her be with him is at the end of V4 when he’s still unconscious from his fight with Tyrian. There’s the hug at the farm, but to me (from what I remember) that seemed more cautious because of how vulnerable he was, and she keeps her head away from him some. And then the hug in the airship, and while she doesn’t tackle him and it’s still a pretty soft movement, she presses the sides of their heads together, not putting her chin on his shoulder/neck like you might usually. I’d have to look at her hugs with others but I think she’s tended to bury her face in WBY’s shoulders more. It’s kinda a stretch but hey...

So, then we get to V7.

And no one has actually tried to tickle famed huntsman, previously notorious drunk who is only very recently sober (and not having his senses numbed or otherwise affected, aside from withdrawal stuff) Qrow Branwen, in a 

Very. Long. Time.

[myriadimagines]

Characters: Reader x Maria Salazar

Warnings: —

Gif credit: deadlycgifs

Sensory Prompt: 28. The bitter tang of acetone

Word Count: 449

A/N: will i literally ever shut up about deadly class being cancelled? no (sensory prompts are not open!)

You unscrew the bottle of nail polish remover, soaking a cotton ball as the sharp, chemical smell hits your nose, the bitter smell of acetone filling the room as it battles the smell of nail polish. You help Maria clean some stray nail polish she accidentally painted on her finger instead of her nail, and you try your best to ignore how close her face is to yours, how you can practically feel her smile radiating off her as her curls tickle your cheek.

“I kissed him.” Maria confesses, and the smile you were once biting back quickly fades as you feel your heart plummet in your chest. Music from Maria’s radio plays in the background as you, her and Saya prepare for the party Shabnam is throwing, and Saya smirks as she looks up to meet Maria’s gaze in the mirror in front of her.

“I did too.” Saya replies, and you practically choke as Maria mirrors a similar surprise.

“Slut.” Maria fires back, and Saya laughs. 

“Oh, relax.” Saya scoffs. “It was the easiest way to lure him back. You?”

“I set him up to take out Chico.” Maria reveals, feigning innocence as Saya exclaims her name in shock. You feel your stomach flip within itself at having to listen to your crush kissing someone else, let alone the new boy who has barely been at King’s for a week. The jealousy devours you, igniting your face as you flusteredly pick at Maria’s sheets in an attempt to distract yourself. “I know! After he tried, I guess I felt like rewarding him.”

“Skank!” Saya exclaims, eyes wide. Cringing slightly, she continues, “Did you touch his dick?” 

Unable to listen to your friends discuss Marcus any longer, you abruptly sit upright on Maria’s bed, shifting uncomfortably as you ask, “Hey, are we getting ready for this party or what?”  

Maria and Saya exchange brief glances, amused smiles dancing on their lips as Maria pushes herself off her bed, grabbing your hands with her perfectly manicured ones, her nails almost as bright as her red lipstick smile. She twirls you around, pouting, “Don’t be mad, y/n, we’re going to have so much fun tonight!”

You roll your eyes, your frown ever so slightly tugging upwards as Maria dances with you, a flirtatious smile appearing on her lips. She pulls you towards her, your bodies ever so slightly pressed up one another before she pulls away, sashaying on her feet to the beat of the music. And despite how crazy Maria can make you feel, she always manages to reel you back in, and by the time she’s pulled you in for a second time, you’re already smiling again.