#Phases Of Angst
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HAPPY CAKE DAY @lunareclipse06!!!
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Huh- ya know- I'm not against it!
Even if he is dead-
@kponyz, @lunareclipse06
^tagged by @soctherapy but the post was getting too long
this isnt a win for me.......
Tags!: @rae-unbeloved @lil-gae-disaster @fictionalcharactergraveyard @livelaughlovelams @alexanderhamiltonhasafatass
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Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;
Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--
With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it
Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.
"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"
That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.
First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.
Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).
Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.
Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.
Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.
EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)
#these are just my thoughts#they dont have to align with your own!#i am also trying to find a healthy balance between being emotional and being Angry for jason--#he wasnt the angry robin dammit! maybe emotional and a bit more physical but cmon#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson#when dick gets older i would imagine that he would resent being called anything in relation to bruce#if its just for his angst phase when he first becomes nightwing or if hes dealing with his own identity/or going through a fight w bruce#i also find the father / son dynamic with dick & damian interesting so i might ponder on that a bit more#also giving tim insecurity issues about where he fits in with the batfam is important to my soul (i have problems)#sore rambles#lotuspowder rambles#batfam#dcu#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfam headcanons#dc headcanon#headcanon#batkids#batkids headcanon#HI IF YOURE LOOKI
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four seven eight, phase 3 (3)
pairing: jungkook x reader
wordcount: 8k
glimpse: jungkook wants to fight with, for, and beside you.
alternatively, nothing will ever be the same again, and you and jungkook couldn’t be any happier.
[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale — complete series masterlist, from phase 1 to 3 ]
[ fluff, angst, the moral dilemma of keeping someone (read: yoongi) who was almost ur first, last, and everything in ur life despite having another person (read: jungkook) to be exactly that, yearning, full circle moments, The Vagueness n different kind of angst now that 478's a family n not jus a couple anymore, redemption :) ]
notes: thank you for locking in!!!! the og 478 fic aka phase 1 was released two years ago n now we're here can u believe . hee-hee thank u for all the love you've given and continue to have for them!! TRUSTTT that this won't be the last you'll see of them :-)
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!
In a nightmare that Jungkook’s experiencing in real time, Hwayoung mistakes Yoongi as her dad.
Jungkook knows fully that there’s a knee-jerk reaction available for practically everything. He knows it well, because the impulse that occupies him kicks in during the most important events of his life.
Your husband’s impulse, which he often confuses for instinct, is too driven to the point that even for the briefest second, all that Jungkook could feel is himself.
He tasted blood in the roof of his mouth when you left him the first time all those years ago. He had clenched his fists so hard, he almost drew blood over the realization that you had given up on him, even if it was for the time-being.
He felt his heartbeat in his eardrums when Hwayoung’s cries first pierced into the world (and straight to his ears), all to the point that the people surrounding you thought that he suddenly fell ill.
Jungkook could and should be able to feel himself right now; right now when his only child glazes past him and calls Yoongi as her dad, and right now when he hears his name called out for someone it doesn’t and should never belong to — except Jungkook can’t even feel his fingers.
He can’t taste blood in the roof of his mouth and he can’t feel his heartbeat in his eardrums. Jungkook can’t even claw himself out of a nightmare that’s built around him yet staged by his karma alone.
“That’s not appa, Hwayoung,” you cut into the thick air, your lips set in a straight line as it takes everything in you not to scoop up Jungkook into your arms because he looks like he’s about to collapse in shock. “Yoongi’s not your dad.”
Hwayoung understands, of course. She understands it like how she always does whenever her little mistakes get rectified. The concentrated pout on her face tells you that she’s listening, hearing you loud and clear as you reiterate a fact that she seems to have forgotten.
Jungkook genuinely tweaks within his own hold, the knot in his throat unbearable as he can’t even figure out how he’s standing beside you on his own to feet. He stands beside his wife and he stands before his daughter, yet he doesn’t even know if the weight he holds in between is enough for him to stay rooted.
Jungkook is as still as a rock while he watches you correct Hwayoung on the spot. He’s immoveable as he sees his daughter’s eyes flit to him in curiosity before finally coming to realization. He’s frozen, not by his own choosing, but because neither of his impulses nor instincts kick in.
Hwayoung nods easily, and Jungkook thinks that he’s about to lose his mind if it hadn’t already been muddled three seconds prior.
In a dream Jungkook doesn’t tell anyone, he’s not as easily interchangeable with Yoongi in the same way that Hwayoung thinks apples are pears sometimes, and that blue is somehow violet.
The mornings without Hwayoung have been too long for Jungkook.
They’ve been too long since her impromptu vacation from the both of you started, dragging out endlessly to the point that he had to ask you to hold his phone so he could withhold himself from hovering above Hwayoung by asking Yoongi for updates by the minute. Mornings were too bright; too normal to be spent by you and him without a playful toddler who tries to slip her finger in whenever someone yawns.
Jungkook’s missed his mornings with Hwayoung in between the two of you.
He missed the mornings where it’s still dark out and he’s been asleep enough for long that he could make out Hwayoung twitching in the dark as she searches for a cold pillow, before later ending up next to your stomach or next to his head.
He longed (read: still longs perpetually) for the mornings wherein he gets to sleep in and it’s you and Hwayoung who wake him up from dreams he’s always willing to part with, because he knows that he has something infinitely better to wake up to.
“Hiii, appa,” Hwayoung drawls out, hugging his leg as Jungkook automatically pats her head with a gentle hand, the smile on his face more or less forced as he chokes out a greeting. He gets snapped out of his trance immediately, even if he isn’t sure that the sight he woke up to this morning is even worth living alongside with.
“Hi, Young-ie,” he whispers, his eyes strikingly neutral even when Hwayoung grabs his hand and swings it around lightly.
Jungkook make the mistake of looking up and he doesn’t know which is worse; your husband, for once, can’t definitively tell if you looking at him empathically should placate him or unsettle him deep into his core.
What Jungkook can tell however, is that seeing Yoongi’s sly gaze on him with the ghost of a smirk on his lips plays into the rage that he can barely hold onto, if not for the little hand that’s already silently apologized to him.
Hwayoung may not know any better at the moment, but she knows well not to ask questions when Jungkook suddenly stands up out of nowhere when he’s just agreed to play on the floor with her two seconds ago, and she knows better not to stare when you immediately agree and not interrogate him at all.
“I’m gonna step out. Need to blow off steam because otherwise, I’ll take it out on him,” Jungkook whispers to your ear, hands grimly shoved into his pockets. “I know we both saw him do the same thing, Y/N,” he laughs humorlessly, clenching his jaw tightly before he leans down to speak again, enough for Yoongi to both see and hear just how angry he is. “Go put your friend on a leash.”
.
.
.
Yoongi likes to think that it’s spite that keeps him running.
The notion of doing things out of spite is not new at all to him; as a matter of fact, he actually thinks he’s the foundation of it.
Yoongi can’t keep track of the many times that it was spite that put food on the table and pushed him to his limits to arrive at the state that he’s in now. Yoongi yearns unlike no other to the point that it ails him because longing, without any bitterness in it at all, feels pointless.
Longing with only the ambition to surrender in the end is pointless; it doesn’t push Yoongi at all to be the best in anything. It doesn’t make him feel any better because without the regret in his stomach and the resentment in his chest, he wouldn’t be reminded of his dream.
In a dream Yoongi wants to tell everyone, he doesn’t fall short to Jungkook.
It’s a ridiculous gag dream that feels like a poorly-made skit to him. Yoongi, with all his spite, can’t believe that he only comes second to the likes of Jungkook, who hadn’t worked as hard as he did nor attempted to fight tooth and nail to be even recognized (even under your light) in the first place.
In a well-rehearsed yet trite skit that appears in Yoongi’s mind whenever he goes to sleep after drinking a little too much or waking up with the sheets a little colder than usual, he doesn’t acknowledge Jungkook to be in the same orbit as him; in his dream that’s equivalent to Jungkook’s nightmare, you and Hwayoung are within arm’s reach.
It had been spite that made Yoongi smirk at Jungkook, right after the latter’s whole worldview shattered in front of him when Hwayoung mistook him for a stranger.
It’s everything but spite that makes Yoongi keep his head up high at you, refusing to bow even just a little out of shame. You’ve dragged him to the nearest empty room and while he would’ve teased you about it for any other context, he can’t seem to do it now when you look at him in disgust, even before he gets to open his mouth.
“What was that, Yoongi?!” you fume, standing by the door as you keep your voice hushed.
It’s almost poetic for Yoongi to see because even when you’re bound to curse him out, even when the both of you are at a turning point (or whatever is left of it to change before it perishes completely), you still put Hwayoung first above all else.
“What was what?” he smiles cheekily, even if it’s apparent that it’s just for show because if anything, it’s Yoongi who knows the most about his own fallacy.
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“I was playing around?” he offers weakly, shrugging his shoulders to make it seem that he doesn’t care at all about the anger you’ve reserved specifically for him; as if he’s not trying to buy time to prolong what could be the last time he’ll ever see you outside of work.
“That was nothing, Yoongi. What Hwayoung said meant nothing,” you grit, your fists balled to your sides as you try not to let your mind drift to the fact that you had confronted Yoongi first before comforting your own husband. “She’s a kid and she just got confused.”
There’s only silence between the two of you, and Yoongi wants to stay in it.
Yoongi wants to consume the dead air if it means that he won’t be backed into a corner and forced to take all the hits that Jungkook’s reality – which are his dreams— could throw to his face.
“You don’t have to tell me what I already know,” he murmurs lowly yet for some odd reason, Yoongi still refuses to bend his head.
The thing is, Yoongi doesn’t feel regret at all. Out of all the times he could ever feel it, he doesn’t feel it now, even when the supposed love of his life wants to banish him out forever.
“Then why do you look happy about it?” you seethe. “Why the hell did you look happy when Hwayoung called you her dad?”
“Because I was,” Yoongi smiles so tightly, his skin buckles under the pressure — come to think of it, his eyes almost feel like they’re stinging. “Do you want me to lie?”
“It would be better if you do,” you retort without even thinking, the tremble of your bottom lip only goading Yoongi further.
Yoongi stands before you, proud yet unwilling, as he serves as the largest and longest milestone of how far you’ve come in your career with his unrequited love for you as the barometer.
“Oh,” he reacts, his face falling before his throat tightens impossibly. Yoongi keeps nodding his head madly, the pricking of tears in his eyes making him frustrated even more. “Okay. Sure. Y-you know what, let me just lie andsay that I don’t constantly think about how it could’ve been me, o-or how I don’t usually hope that Jungkook completely fucks it up because I could show you that I’ll never do you wrong in the first place!”
“Friends don’t fucking do that, Yoongi!” you clench your teeth, the devastation on your face apparent yet never equivalent to that of Yoongi who’s already nearing his limit.
“I don’t want to be just your friend!” he whispers at you, because while he thinks about Hwayoung in the living room who’s just a few steps away, he also thinks of how scared he is to admit the fact to your face no matter how high he holds his head.
“I don’t think we can’t be friends either,” you sigh breathlessly, the finality to your tone making Yoongi freeze.
Finally, he lowers his head.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know.”
In an overdone skit that plays in Yoongi’s head, somebody pulls out a slate and yells for the scene to be over, because not only did the whole thing play out in just his head, it was also just a silly dream that a married man with a kid could only have.
In a well-rehearsed, trite, and critically acclaimed skit that Yoongi writes himself but could never act in, you never have to be put in a position wherein you have to put a pause to your friendship with Yoongi.
The dependency and entanglement the both of you have with each other, no matter in what degree, only proves to be a double-edged sword that hurts you more than it could ever hurt him, and Yoongi knows he can’t ever live with that.
There needs to be distance between you and Yoongi, and he’s never hated that fact more than now, no matter how much he knows it’s needed.
Yoongi knows he’s an intruder.
He’s an intruder who frequently gets to see you at work, he’s an intruder who always gets to loathe Jungkook no matter from what angle, and he’s an intruder who occasionally gets to hold Hwayoung who isn’t his.
( ♡ )
The truth is, Jungkook didn’t even really think of having kids until you came along. It had been a long withstanding truth in himself, even with Sora before you, that the thought of having someone of his own flesh and blood was too heavy for him — too much.
Jungkook didn’t entertain the thought of having children until you came into his life and he had decided then and there that there’d never be too much of you for him.
You weren’t too much for Jungkook when you were still a new couple and had asked him if he’d be open to marrying you one day, even if you were barely a year into your relationship (and your first one at that) that he was yet to have a full grasp of.
You weren’t too much for him when you had talked his ear off when you were still a rookie, promising him sincerely that you’ll make it big and that soon enough, the both of you would live a comfortable life — provided that you were still in each other’s by that time.
You weren’t too much for the Jungkook of then, your wide-eyed boyfriend who’s a man of few words, and you’re not too much for the Jungkook of now, your husband who feels like he has far too many feelings.
The truth is, Jungkook didn’t even really think that his heart could exist outside of his chest until Hwayoung came along.
There’s this dull, agonizing pain that always squeezes on Jungkook’s chest like clockwork whenever he feels he’s letting his daughter down. There’s bitterness in failure and there’s failure, even when Hwayoung’s tiny hands don’t seek his when they’re walking side by side, or when she’s not as enthusiastic about her meals like how he had been when preparing them–
Or even when Hwayoung mistakes Yoongi for her dad.
“This shirt?” Hwayoung asks, interrupting his inner turmoil as she points to a shirt of his from high school. She has a whole drawer filled with yours and Jungkook’s old clothes for sleep shirts, the giddy smile on her face as she awaits for approval making Jungkook almost forget everything. (Read: almost)
“You can choose any shirt you want, Young-ie,” he answers, his eyes only half-lidded and just a whisper close to stinging with tears. The exhaustion in his voice is practically inseparable from the gutting feeling of his full-time work as a dad for a little more than two years, being mistaken for Yoongi’s part-time favor as a godfather for barely two weeks and then some.
Jungkook’s hands immediately twitch at his sides when Hwayoung walks towards him and stumbles for the slightest second, the brief hiccup on his heart reminding him that he’ll be attuned to her no matter what — even if his daughter mistakes him for a stranger.
He knows the shit that the elders say about letting children fall. He has the script memorized by now and he knows the annoyance that blooms in him routinely when he gets unsolicited advice.
Jungkook knows it all, and he knows that eventually, Hwayoung would get hurt and he won’t be able to do anything about it. Just like how she can hurt him, someway and somehow along the line (maybe she’ll call Yoongi appa again), and how he won’t know what to do with himself should that time come.
Tonight isn’t the time.
“Help, appa.”
“Okay,” he obliges. “I’m here,” Jungkook utters, ironically refusing to call himself the title that he wants Hwayoung to keep only for him; not for Yoongi, not for your manager, and not for the men that constantly pine after you even when they know fully that Jungkook’s in the picture.
Your husband knows greed and he hates it, because it had been in the form of Yoongi briefly smirking when Hwayoung called him appa that time.
Jungkook knows greed and is well-acquainted, because his fist is scuffed and Yoongi’s number is blocked.
He knows greed and whatever indomitable power that puts a brake to his rage right when it’s about to pour over, because he had punched the brick wall in the patio instead of Yoongi to blow off steam, and because he has the mind to not taunt Yoongi with a complete family picture right after you distanced yourself away from him.
“I’m sorry, Young-ie. Mama and I are sorry to put you through that, okay?” he murmurs to her ear like it’s only their little secret for them to hear, the unbridled wonder that lingers in his daughter’s eyes enough to placate him that everything’s okay between them tonight.
( ♡ )
To wake up in the same bed as Jungkook and Hwayoung after so long makes your heart swell.
Your heart swells, not just with pride, but with a feeling you can’t ever put a name to. You’re more than content enough to see Hwayoung cuddled up to Jungkook and the mess of their hair tangled in between, but even more, you’re filled with a strange yearning that you don’t want them to stay that way.
You want more of them in a way that you’re overwhelmed, just by thinking that they’re the closest you could ever have to feeling immortal in this life. Not everything is completely back into place like they once were, but oddly enough, neither you and Jungkook are actively trying to replicate the old times.
“You sure you’ll do the groceries alone this time?” you ask Jungkook for the third time, also receiving his third consecutive playful eye roll as he packs Hwayoung’s bag for you.
“Yes, ma’am. Just go with the princess and look at playschools,” he hums, ruffling your daughter’s hair that you spent a good ten minutes on. “If I come with, I fear I’ll already cry just by thinking Young-ie’s growing up.”
“She is growing-…”
“Can’t hear you!” he hollers as he backs out from the driveway, the smile on his face incomparable because he woke up with the thought that you did.
Jungkook wants more of you and Hwayoung, not because he just wants to return your unspoken sentiment, but because he figures that no amount of time or space will ever be enough if it’s the both of you that hold it.
It’s nice to be back to a somewhat normal routine. With your work finished (and all that is left is for the publicity to ramp up) after having spent so much time on it, you immediately resign yourself to the fixed routine you’ve been dying to get back on.
You’ve almost forgotten just how chaotic a supposedly mundane breakfast could be for a family of three, seeing to it that Jungkook’s packed lunches had grown on you to the point that even having your own plate on the dining table felt weird.
You’ve almost forgotten just how liberating it felt to walk outside with Hwayoung (despite having to put on masks and caps on for animosity) without having to worry how much time you have left before shooting starts again, considering that your daughter doesn’t even regard you for the actress that you are.
Hwayoung pulls your hand and walks ahead of you, and you let her. She’s small and unyielding, even if she pulls you with the equivalent of a mini Jungkook’s strength.
Your daughter walks ahead of you and you don’t mind because you rarely ever get to see her in the sunlight wearing the dresses that Jungkook buys even if there aren’t any sales going on (you’re trying to get him to curb his shopping addiction), as opposed to her being bundled up in pajamas, sitting on your lap in your trailer under studio lights.
Hwayoung has the strength that only a child of yours and Jungkook’s could ever possess, because while you freeze in your tracks upon seeing a familiar face as soon as you open the glass doors to the playschool you were about to scope out, Hwayoung only looks at you and the woman in front with a smile.
“Y/N, is that you?”
“Sora,” you exhale, the surprise probably evident on your face because it takes a solid second for you to register her presence. “Hi.”
Sora’s even prettier in person (not that she was ever ugly in the first place) than the beauty she was on the picture you’ve seen of her and Jungkook, her genuine smile unmistakeable because she looks like light itself.
You get why Jungkook had fallen for her, and while there’s nothing about now to blame him for, you can’t understand either why Sora’s absolutely ecstatic to see her ex-boyfriend’s wife.
“She’s my daughter,” you belatedly add after finally moving on from being starstruck, putting a reassuring hand on Hwayoung’s back (who doesn’t need it anyway because she’s more at ease right now than you are) as you smile. “Say hi, baby.”
Sora gasps in awe, and while you appreciate her politeness in not assuming anything about Hwayoung before you introduced her yourself, the curious, baser part of you wonders if she thinks about you and what she could’ve been–
If Sora thinks about you as much as you do with her whenever she fights with her partner, or if she ever thinks about the lingering insecurity that comes with being a lover in general.
“She’s an absolute sweetheart! She looks so much like you.”
“She does?” you beam, completely surprised at her words. You’re already surprised about Sora in general along with her unexpected enthusiasm, but you’re even more shocked at her sincere interest. “A lot of family and friends say that she looks like Jungkook more.”
“I mean they do say that soulmates will look alike at one point,” she shrugs playfully, head tilting as she waves to Hwayoung while you digest her words.
You didn’t think Jungkook’s past would be this kind no matter how much it had hurt you before.
You feel guilty for having expected a confrontation of some sort, the slight paranoia that had creeped on you before completely dissipating the longer that you look at Sora. She looks at ease and it’s contagious, the soft smile on her face extending up to her eyes when she sees your gaze lingering at the hand on her belly.
“Oh, yeah. I’m expecting,” she announces excitedly, cheerfully, as if you’re childhood friends and go to brunch every Sunday — as if you’re close enough for her to spread her joy with.
“Congrats, Sora,” you grin, extending your hand to gently hold her arm in celebration.
You had insisted again and again to yourself that Sora’s no one to you; that she’s a blip in Jungkook’s radar that lasted for years and came before you. You had let the idea of her consume you fully to the point that her kindness takes you aback.
You can’t blame Sora, and she can’t blame you either. Somewhere along Jungkook’s mosaic he’s made for himself, she lingers in there as a stray piece that fits no matter the pattern. It’s irrevocable and only natural for your husband to be an accumulation of everything and everyone he’s ever loved, and while you know that you and your daughter occupy most of it, you can’t ever erase Sora from existence.
You want to ask who’s the dad with the most inconspicuous tone you could ever possess.
You want to ask her how she’s been and how things went with her partner during the last time that she and Jungkook had celebrated their anniversary as exes.
You want to ask Sora about her cousin and maybe even joke about how chaos must probably run in her bloodline.
You want to ask Sora about hundreds of things and hold her accountable for the sleepless nights she’s costed you and your family, but you hold yourself back — not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because everything had already worked out in the end. Sora’s already in the past and you want her to stay there, even if you have the opportunity to get the answers you’ve only used to pray for.
“For what it’s worth, Y/N, I’m sorry. I know it’s a little too late to say it, but I really am,” she murmurs after some time of only you and her silently watching Hwayoung talk to another kid, the sincerity in her eyes evident even if she holds her head low before you.
The closure you could only ever ask for whenever your heart hurt the most, comes to you when you feel that you’re at your lightest.
( ♡ )
True to your word, you don’t let Jungkook attend your press conference.
There’s no point in denying that you do need Jungkook here with you, but there’s no denying either that needing him and wanting him to be here are two different things.
You’re oddly reminiscent of the time that you had been in this position, and even if the memory’s bittersweet, the rational and realistic part of your brain could only think that it’s reasonable to miss Jungkook despite barring him from here. This is your highest peak after all, and it’s only normal for you to be nervous.
It’s normal for you to be nervous despite telling the staff that you’re going to keep the wedding ring on your finger throughout the entire thing. It’s entirely reasonable for you to be jittery at the possibility of being asked about your family, no matter how far-fetched the queries could be from the actual movie at hand.
It’s only okay for you to feel that trepidation in your stomach even if everything in your life, at the moment, is at your favor.
The room’s quiet with only you and Jimin in it, and without the buffer of Hwayoung that laughs through everything that he says, the one-on-one that you have with your manager reminds you of the talk you had to have when the rumors about you and Yoongi broke out.
Jimin has more years and experiences under his belt now, but with the way he talks to you, it feels as if it’s neither of you are experienced; that the both of you are complete beginners who’d like to think that the only way to go is up, and that a tiny irregularity could instantly make everything you’ve built to collapse.
The talk about Eunsu has been a long time coming, and Jimin wants to let you know now when there’s nobody else — when you’re reminded that you have everything to both gain and lose.
“I’ve managed to put a lid on it for the meantime,” he clears his throat, looking at your reflection in the mirror as he puts on your microphone delicately. “I don’t know for how long though.”
Your gaze looks blank, almost unreadable to the untrained eye, yet Jimin knows that there’s a weight to it. Unlike all the brush-ins you’ve ever had with issues before, this is the first time that it had ever hit home and everything that ever mattered to you.
He could only imagine the weight of what it must feel like to be you; of how heavy it must be to be the one to take everything in stride.
“It’s okay, Jimin. Thank you,” you murmur, looking down on your lap as you try to fight the frown that comes with the realization that you’ve been used to having Hwayoung on it.
“Y/N,” he tuts, his tone stern yet familiar.
“Hmm?” you ask while you’re in a daze, letting yourself stare at a spot on the wall that could only hold your attention for so long. You can’t erase it as much as you can’t avoid this conversation with Jimin, and even more, you can’t avoid the eventual turbulence you’ll be subjecting your family to once everything goes public.
There’s an innate guilt that comes with being a wife and a mother, you figure. It’s your first time being both and with it comes the sense of doom; it’s not the morbid type of ruination, but rather, it’s the anxiousness that comes with knowing you don’t only have yourself to look after.
“What Eunsu did to Jungkook— to your family, even-…”
“I know,” you interrupt, nodding fervently to cut the conversation short, except Jimin doesn’t fold.
“I know you’re protecting them. I know you’re thinking about Hwayoung the most,” Jimin sighs. “But you wanting to protect them also means that you’re protecting Eunsu even if it isn’t your intention,” he murmurs, squeezing your shoulder gently. “The news coming out about her won’t be the worst thing in the world.”
The same two people that you’re protecting, one of them more innocent and clueless than the other yet just as loving, give you complacency amidst your unease.
( ♡ )
You always insisted on having a big bed.
Jungkook remembers your insistence on having a big bed when the two of you moved in together and slowly started furnishing your home before your wedding. Your preferences didn’t exactly clash his because while you mostly took care of the budget and he took care of the aesthetics, there would almost always be common ground. Almost.
Additionally, you also remember Jungkook’s gratefulness for your stubbornness towards having a big bed because realistically, he can’t ever picture himself lying down on a deluxe standard bed with a toddler between the two of you.
The maintenance for the third-biggest variation of a king-sized bed that you had pleaded him for (and even made a whole presentation about defending your case) with Hwayoung in the picture now is even more troublesome. The quest for bedsheets that are hypoallergenic, extremely soft and comfortable, have a neutral, classic, yet easily-maintainable design, and toddler-proof simultaneously seems to be never-ending.
Jungkook can’t sleep at all sometimes. Even when the airconditioning in the room is at a perfect temperature, his comforter is on his person and not on the other side of the bed by your doing, his daughter’s hair isn’t in his mouth, and his cat’s humongous built isn’t blocking his passage of air, there’s days wherein Jungkook can’t put himself to sleep.
In one way or another, it’s always the ache and worry that manifests in his chest for the next day. He keeps wondering about tomorrow’s meals and the probability of Hwayoung throwing a tantrum. He keeps wondering if there’s going to be a wild curveball that somebody will throw at you tomorrow, and how fast he can get to you should that happen.
Jungkook’s no stranger to sleepless nights. He’s used to analyzing one unfavorable context after another to scare himself into being awake so he can’t get nightmares when he eventually goes to sleep.
To wake your husband up just because you couldn’t sleep yourself is a menial task that you finally talk yourself into doing, the little shake that you give Jungkook on his shoulders enough to make him jolt awake.
“Kook, wake up.”
“What, what-…? What is it?” he darts up groggily, eyes barely adjusted to the dim light you’ve set the room to. Jungkook’s lost to why you even woke him up when Hwayoung’s out like a log, but he doesn’t question you on it — instead, he gently carries his daughter to occupy his warm spot on the bed, just so he could crawl his way to the middle to listen to you.
“Jungkook.”
“Hmm,” he hums again, sleepily propping himself up with a pillow as he tries to blink the sleep away from his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t even dare to take a peek at the alarm clock because all he knows is that you’re awake and you also want him to be, so he doesn’t complain.
Four seconds. Breathe in through your nose.
Seven seconds. Hold it.
Eight seconds. Exhale through your mouth.
“Let’s fight,” you whisper, leaning your head on Jungkook’s shoulder.
Your husband could only rub his eyes tiredly, the yawn that escapes him making his entire body shake. “Huh? Right now?” he clarifies, the sleepy pout on his lips only highlighting how wide and docile his eyes are for you at the moment.
“Come on. Let’s fight,” you half-heartedly offer, bumping your head to his.
Your husband only stays silent, putting a hand up to your forehead to check for a fever.
Jungkook only yawns once again, his sluggishness being infectious to the point that you suppress your own by burying your face to his neck.
“Can we like, fight in the morning or something?” he tries to compromise, fully serious about a half-baked joke you woke him up for.
Jungkook’s come a long way. He’s no longer your husband who didn’t want to fight you on things for the sake of self-preservation. He’s no longer the one who avoided confrontation in fear of setting you apart from him. He’s this now, so willing to go with your every whim that if you want to have a fight with him at two in the morning, he’ll rub the sleep out of his eyes and let you rest on his shoulder if ever you were being serious.
You kiss your husband on the lips, the love-drunk smile that he gives you afterward making you snort.
Your king-sized bed is a mess. Somewhere by the end of your foot, there’s Hwayoung’s pink crayon that she insists on holding to sleep. Somewhere by the tips of Jungkook’s hair, there’s Miso’s fur kept together with his daughter’s hair clip because she didn’t want to go to sleep without putting it on him.
Jungkook, your husband who’s clad in a shirt of yours with too many holes on it because of his daughter’s safety scissors and his cat’s claws, hugs you to his chest in silence.
You think about how you can’t tell when the news about Eunsu is going to release, while Jungkook sneakily tries to uncover your sock-covered foot with his own because he lost one of his socks while sleeping and wanted to be even.
You think about how the Academy nominees are going to be revealed in a week, while your husband says out loud his grocery list for the week while randomly staring off into space every ten seconds.
You think about Hwayoung attending playschool in a matter of months, while your husband internally plays rock, paper, scissors with himself as he waits for you to gather your thoughts.
You think about you and Jungkook and whatever comes with, for, and between you while he hugs you under the dim lights.
Four seconds. Breathe in through your nose.
Seven seconds. Hold it.
Eight seconds. Exhale through your mouth.
“What if it only gets brutal from here on out, Jungkook? What do I do?” you murmur, looking up at him.
“Who says it has to be brutal?” Jungkook laughs, his voice bouncing out into the space as if you’re in a newly-built house with barely any furniture.
Jungkook’s laughter is still joyous and loud, because even if Jungkook’s heart is a newly-built house, his happiness still reverberates the more it settles into the ground and comes closer to its roots; closer to you.
“We’ll keep up.”
#DUNNNNN :O n to get ahead of questions.. yes there WILLLL be a phase 4!!!#jungkook imagine#jungkook oneshot#jungkook oneshots#jungkook series#jungkook angst#jungkook angst imagine#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook au#jungkook scenario#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#bts jungkook imagine#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook x reader
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Valley-girl Charm - Bucky Barnes
Summary: In which reader from the 1940s knows just how to play the damsel in distress to get exactly what she wants in the modern age after coming out of the ice. Or should I say: 3 times Bucky did things for you, and the 1 time you did something for him. SMUT!!!
2.9k wc
Natasha knew body language better than anyone. Tony knew how to play the knight in shining armour better than any hero in the old tales they told.
So of course, they were the first ones to pick up on the little game you were playing. It had started the second you were back from under the ice, charming anyone you spoke to with your 1940's valley girl accent, using words you'd only hear in old television. Men fell at your feet the second words came out of your mouth, offering you anything you'd dream of, and it didn't have anything to do with the super-soldier serum in your system either. You politely declined every time, but eventually understood the kind of power you held.
The second charming method they noticed you had came from your gorgeous smile. The moment you looked up at someone through your long lashes and beamed widely, looking so innocent and kind, people were willing to give you the clothes off their back if you asked. Of course, you never accepted anything from complete strangers. The two Avengers had come to their conclusion that you were still accustoming yourself to the norms of the new world, unaware of your ability to bewitch people with your natural appeal, however it was not long before they were proven wrong.
They didn't know if it was the fact that you were so familiar to Bucky and Steve, a comfort amongst all things new that made them more vulnerable to do anything for you, or if it was just your flirt, but they were immediately intrigued after seeing your interactions with the soldiers. They'd seen the way you spoke to the two soldiers just after coming out of the ice and hadn't noticed anything unusual apart from the fact you'd essentially come out of a time machine. As the weeks, months passed, they knew your intentions.
It had started by witnessing a simple conversation between you and the two soldiers. "Well I'm all nerves about going to speak to Agent Fury about that last mission. He's going to get all bent and blow a fuse." The two soldiers stood either side of you turned to face you in such synchrony it had almost been comical. Bucky was the first to speak, "Don't worry doll, I can go speak to him if you'd like. You shouldn't be the one he chews out." "Anyway," Cuts in Steve "We were the ones who screwed up honey, not you." From across the kitchen, Natasha rolled her shoulders back, nudging Tony with her elbow lightly as she stirred sugar into her coffee. Their eyes widened slightly at the wide smile sprawling itself on your face, peeking back and forth between the two men.
"Really? You boys don't have to do that just for me." Steve straightened his posture impossibly at your comment, but it was Bucky who beat him to the comment. "Honey, I'd do anything for a broad like you." You cocked your head to the side, a hand coming up to rest on his muscled bicep. "Why, thank you Sergeant. You dreamboats are too kind". Natasha's eyes trailed over to Tony when the three of you finally left, the two boys accompanying you seemingly wherever you wanted to go. "See, I didn't understand half of that conversation, but they are wrapped around her finger." Tony hummed "She's smarter than we thought."
The second time they witnessed it, they were convinced that you did it on purpose, their image of you quickly turning from innocent and naive to a femme fatale, manipulating men into thinking they're doing things for you because they want to. You'd all been hitting the bars, only missing Thor from the team. You had been occupying a large round booth, wedged between Bucky and Natasha, giggling with her about the man she found attractive sat at the bar, whilst the four men at the table shared stories. Natasha's eyes were quickly drawn to your hand as you placed it on Bucky's thigh, the man putting his own hand over yours almost instantly as he glanced down at you. You returned his look, grinning widely before turning back to your conversation with the tall red-head.
Natasha carried on with the conversation, pretending not to notice the intimate moment you'd shared with the soldier, but her jaw went slack nonetheless when Bucky leaned closer to you not two minutes later, whispering "You're drinking a margarita, right?" And rising from his seat when you nodded at him, humming in agreement. Bucky joined the group once more with two drinks in hand: one for him and one for you, smiling proudly when you cocked your head to the side, insisting he didn't have to. He only wrapped one muscled arm around your shoulders as a response, pulling you closer to him despite the humidity of the bar.
When you leant your head on Bucky's shoulder, stealing a glimpse up at him though, Natasha was no longer assured that those tricks up your sleeve were to get what you wanted. Perhaps you used them to get who you wanted. She sipped her drink instead of making a comment, afraid to scare you away with any questions when you'd only just begun getting close to her. Maybe in a couple of weeks during a girls' trip to the bathroom she'd bring up your relationship with him.
That girls' trip didn't end up being in a bathroom, but in a changing room, because next time something so significant had happened, the entire team was training together for the first time in a while, and Steve had declared that you were all doing a round robin. If you were still in the military, sure - you'd have moaned about it, throwing your head back in disappointment and hoping your supervisor hadn't seen you complain. But now, with the super-serum in your bloodstream? Well, you supposed you could be in a worst position, like Tony's, who didn't have any super-powers or spy training. With so many of you on the team, it'd take numerous matches for everyone to have their turn against each of their teammates, so after a quick warm-up, everyone had settled down on the mats of the martial arts training area to watch.
Soon later, everyone who was sat on the mats was trying to catch their breath as two team-mates sparred on the mats. Tony stood after Thor and Steve's match, adding another tally next to Thor's name on the big planning whiteboard before turning around with a wide smirk on his face. "Last match of the day." Bucky hopped up from next to you, sticking a hand out for you to take. Hesitantly, you took it, only for him to pull you up to your feet. "Us?" You asked, only for him to nod. "Well, I'm gonna let you have it, Barnes." You teased, tightening your ponytail. "Oh come on, might as well reach for the sky now, y/n."
"Steve, what the hell are they saying?" Called out Clint, leaning over to see the blonde man from across Natasha. "She's gonna hit him hard, and he says she should just give up now." Replied the man, taking another sip from his water. Tony picked up the whistle next to him, blowing into it, before scrambling back to watch with the others. The second the time started, Bucky faltered - how the hell was he supposed to hit you? But there was already a fist flying to his face which he barely dodged, instead swatting your wrist away from him.
You stared at him intensely from behind your fists, shielding your face, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Come on Barnes!" Steve yelled from the sidelines. Bucky's face mirrored yours, his eyes laced with confusion, but he threw a fist anyhow, going for a body shot instead of your face. Nevertheless, you moved to the right, dodging his fist, and grabbing his arm as leverage to help you jump up. You threw your right leg over his shoulder, and behind his neck, swinging your other leg over his second shoulder, and crossing it over your right leg to trap his arm between your legs and over your torso. You tensed your quads as much as you could, hoping the triangle choke would work on him, but instead he used his metal arm to push your thigh over his head as much as he could. It was working, slowly but surely.
"Fuck" you muttered when he slipped his head in the gap between his shoulder and your thigh. You were now essentially hanging onto his arm, both legs over one shoulder. Before he could react, you flexed your core muscles, and sat up onto his shoulder. You released his arm, jumping off his shoulder so you landed behind him, and softly push-kicked him the back so he stumbled forward. As he did though, one hand reached behind him and grabbed your ankle, so you were dragged along with him. You slipped onto your back as he fell forward but Bucky was quicker, getting up instantly to straddle your hips. He leaned forward, above you, trying to get his arms around your neck to get you in a chokehold, but the second you giggled, he shot back up again.
"Sorry, that tickled." You insisted, hand coming to your neck to play the part better, a broad smile gracing your lips. Just as Bucky opened his mouth to say something, you reached out to grab both his hands, bucking your hips up and turning to the side to flip him over. You were on top of him in the blink of an eye, mimicking his movements as your arms snaked around his neck. You successfully put him in the same chokehold he had tried to put you in, but when you twisted your wrists, the blood supply to his face immediately cut off and you felt his hand tapping you twice on the shoulder. "You cheat." Was the first thing he said after his gasp for air, but you only shrugged, rolling off his chest. "I was only using sources available to me."
You giggled as you ran off to catch up to Natasha, already waiting for you by the doors to the changing room. "So..." She started, quite obviously. "So... What?" You echoed, looking up at her curiously, shimmying out of your shorts. You turn around so your back faces her as you struggle out of your sports bra, wrapping your towel around your sweaty body before spinning back around. "You and Bucky. This flirting has been going on for weeks. Do you like him, are you dating?" You laughed, cocking your head to the side. "You don't know?" She shook her head quickly, sitting down on a bench. On the other hand, you just opened one of the doors to the clean showers, calling out to her.
"Well, before the ice, me and Buck knew each other from the military, we got along well. The only problem was, he was my superior. I couldn't possibly make a pass at him and be known as the soldier who had the nerve to try and lay paws on her superior. But there was always something there..." At the lack of response, you stuck your head back out of the shower, to make sure Natasha was still there. "Natasha?" The spy looked at you with her mouth wide open in shock. "What!? And you never told me?" You shrugged, turning the water on. "Well I thought y'all knew."
Her silence told you enough about how much she really knew. As she muttered to herself on the other side of the door, you submerged yourself in the water, massaging shampoo into your hair, hearing flashes of "before the ice" and "he was your superior?" so you assumed she was still talking to you, even though you ignored most of what she said. You barely heard her goodbye and the sound of the changing room door opening and closing one more time, before the sound of water running was all you could hear.
"Y/n? Natasha let me in, she said you were done." You perked up at the sound of Bucky's voice, exclaiming "Here!" He approached the sound of your voice, stopping when he realised Natasha had deceived him. He stood in front of the dark wooden door, watching the steam dance in the space above your door. "Is it anything urgent?" The towel hanging from the door disappeared into the other side, and Bucky realised shaking his head wasn't enough of an answer because the door swung open to reveal you, soaking wet and completely naked with the exception of the small towel that barely covered your private parts. "Oh! Hey you!" You exclaimed, taken aback at his proximity, yet smiling all the while.
Bucky stood frozen in place, mouth ajar as he search for his words. "I'm sorry, I- I, you look beautiful." You giggled at his words, approaching his shirtless, freshly showered figure. His long hair was wet and skin was glistening, and he only wore a pair of jogger shorts to conceal himself. You have to admit, they weren't doing a great job and covering the growing tent in them. Your eyes trailed back up his body to meet his, smiling at him again. "Anything I can help you with, Sergeant?" Bucky's hands hesitantly rose to meet your hips. "I-No it's fine." Your hand met his and you dragged him with you three steps backwards, back into the shower you had just exited. You reached your arm behind him, locking the door once more.
"You're sure?" Bucky shook his head, pulling your hips flush against his as he slammed his lips against yours in a needy kiss. You gasped as your towel started to unravel, but you didn't try to stop it, wrapping your arms around Bucky's shoulders instead. When he separated from you, opening his eyes, they immediately widened, and his bit his lip, poorly trying to suppress a moan. You pushed Bucky back gently, urging him to sit on the small wooden bench. He sat down, legs spreading to make space for you between them, but when you started lowering yourself onto your knees, he shook his head frantically, begging "No, no, none of that, doll. I just want you sweetheart."
The cold metal of his arm flush against your skin chilled you as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you up to sit on his laps. He grunted, frantically pulling down his cotton shorts. You aided him at doing so, gasping when his cock sprung out, the absence of any underwear surprising you. You immediately took his dick in your hands, watching as Bucky's face scrunched up in pleasure. You guided him inside you, sitting down flat on his dick, but you couldn't help the loud moan that escaped you as you did. You whined, beginning to drag yourself up and down his dick, gradually speeding up your movements. Bucky's hips met your frantically, until his pace was so quick you couldn't keep up. "Buck!" At your plead, he wrapped an arm around you, using his metal one to support both your weights on the wall, and he stood up, walking forward until your back was pressed against the cold shower wall.
You gasped at its feeling against your skin, jerking forward once more when Bucky's metal hand came up to play with your nipples as his speed increased once more. Bucky leaned his forehead against yours, cussing loudly before biting his bottom lip in fear of being heard. His hand left your breasts, instead blinding searching for the shower handle. When he found it, he immediately pushed it upwards, the instant noise of water shooting out moderately covering the sounds of pleasure you made. Your wrapped your arms around his tighter, grinding your pussy onto his pelvis as he thrusted into you, your clit rubbing on the short hairs near the base of his dick.
You busied yourself pressing kisses on Bucky's neck, the water squelching between your bodies as you passionately moved against each other. "Fuck y/n" Bucky moaned, chasing your lips, panting against them once he met them in a deep kiss. Your hands cupped his face as you kissed, deepening it impossibly, and his metal hand went straight to your clit, rubbing circles on it as fast as he could. Your leg twitched and you didn't have time to warn him before you were cumming all over him. "Shit!" Bucky grunted, pulling out of you as he balanced you on the wall, his hand coming to jerk himself off quicker. You put your hand over his, legs still wrapped around his torso, teasing his sensitive tip as you stroked him up and down. With a deep shudder, white stripes of cum shot out of him, painting your belly white, only to be washed away with the shower's stream.
Bucky put you down gently, making sure you wouldn't slip before cupping your face with his large hands and bringing you in for a much slower, more passionate kiss. You pulled away from him, keeping him close as you peppered kisses all over his face. He laughed, trying to pull away from you and saying,
"We should have done this about 80 years ago doll, don't you think?
#rainydayathogwarts#mcu imagine#mcu phase 4#mcu memes#mcu cast#marvel mcu#mcu#mcu angst#avengers#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#marvel smut#marvel x reader#marvel x y/n#the avengers#marvel headcanons#bucky fic#buckybarnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky smut#the winter soldier#winter soldier#steve rogers#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader
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lovesick!lucifer who'll stare at you from across the room, laughing at one of his younger brother's stupid jokes. sighing, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose− he wishes he could make you laugh like that− wait, what was he thinking? he should really get back to work.
lovesick!lucifer who'd ask you to come over to his office for no actual reason. secretly hoping that you'd stay and keep him company, but his pride wouldn't allow him to actually say it to you.
lovesick!lucifer who feels conflicted− why was he feeling this way towards a mere human, you? he'd never feel this way before− so why was he feeling so.. strange towards you?
lovesick!lucifer who isn't too fond of sweets, but takes you to cute little bakeries and cafes just to see your face light up, a grin splaying on your soft lips as you thank him. oh devils, you couldn't get cuter.
lovesick!lucifer who'd actually thinking of lessening some of mammon's punishments, your pleading eyes almost too much for him to resist.
lovesick!lucifer who finally, finally gathers himself to confess to you. putting on his favorite cologne− the one that you complimented, fixing his hair about a million times to ensure that he looks perfect.
lovesick!lucifer who picks out the highest quality of red roses for you, the same color of his painted nails, symbolizing the passion and love he felt for you.
lovesick!lucifer who's face falls when he's about to enter the room, stopping in his tracks as soft giggles spill out of your room. the door slightly ajar. he knows he shouldn't take a peek, but he can't help himself. curiosity getting the best of him− and as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.
lovesick!lucifer who watches, watches as you lay on top of the fourth born, head resting on his chest, while your twinkling eyes hold so much love and adoration for his younger brother.
lovesick!lucifer who's heart shatters into a million pieces as he watches you kiss satan's face, smushing his cheeks together, affectionately bumping your nose against his cheek. he gently closed the door shut, not wanting to peek any further. footsteps heavy as his broken heart against the carpeted floor, as he returns back to his office.
lovesick!lucifer who pours himself another glass of demonus, the alcohol burning in his throat as he gulps it down. he should've known, really. pride dwindling as his eyes land on the forgotten bouquet of crimson roses sitting on his table. he really should've known better.
©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, likes and reblogs are very appreciated♡
#˚˙᭕ chiyoh's works ᭕˙˚#sorry yall.. kinda getting back into my lucifer phase 👉👈#obey me x reader#obey me x reader fluff#obey me x reader angst#obey me fluff#obey me angst#om x reader#om x reader fluff#om x reader angst#om fluff#om angst#lucifer x reader fluff#lucifer x reader#lucifer x reader angst#lucifer fluff#lucifer angst#obey me! shall we date?#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me: one master to rule them all
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🌙 Moon Phases 🌙
Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1472
Chapter 42:
The boy was gone, having gotten what he wanted from the road, and now he was free. The lights above you flickered again, few remaining alive; a sign that your time was almost up.
Agatha looked at the place where Billy was as she leaned back, thinking of his question. "No, Billy. Sometimes... boys die."
You parted your lips but remained silent, feeling that those words were not just directed at Billy but also to herself.
Pieces fell into place in your mind, now a clear picture formed that filed the blanks you had.... that answered almost all of your questions.
"Is this you forgiving Rio for taking Little Nicky?" You dared to ask, your voice soft and empathic.
Agatha finally looked at you, surprised by your deduction. You were good with those things, but she did not remember you being that good.
"How did you find out?" She asked.
You offered her a weak smile, the topic as sensitive to you as it was to hers. Perhaps little more, considering this was a talk about the relationship Agatha developed with Rio... who might had become your replacement if things had turned out differently.
"I did keep wondering what Rio had done to you, to cause such rift... unexplained rift that didn't fully justify your feelings for one another."
Immediately, Agatha felt guilty.
"Sugar -" You did not let her finish.
"It's okay, Ags," you gave her a pained smile. "I mean, Nicky did look a lot like Rio while growing up... and I have come to peace with it. When I left you... I never made anything clear, and it would be wrong of me to expect something from you." You took a deep breath. "Considering who Rio is, it finally clicked that it was his passing that divided you."
Agatha did not comment, unsure what to say. She could thank you for your understanding and passive forgiveness. She could try to justify Rio and Nicky... but she realized it would change nothing.
Things had been set on stone, and they could not be changed. What could be changed, though, was your chance to get out of this road and return to your free solitary life... to finally be free from the curse thar seemed to follow Agatha and was affecting you.
"Okay, sugar. It's time for you to get what you want from the road and get out of here, " she said, changing the topic as she pushed some of her hair above her shoulder.
"But I have already gotten what I want," you explained, shocking her for the second time. She watched you move to sit right in front of her, taking her hand and holding it with both of yours. "What I wanted was for a chance to join you, Agatha. To truly help you find what you are looking for, not to watch you go alone while I stay back; never to join you. "
Agatha was once again speechless at your sweet confessions, at your unyielding loyalty to her. Even after all those centuries, even after all those times she walked away; you remained.
You did not lose faith in her. You didn't stop caring and worrying for her.
You never stopped regretting every time you turned down Agatha and lost the chance to join her.
She didn't know that, and in that moment of revelation, a single tear escaped her left eye.
You moved one hand to wipe it away gently before it could roll down her cheek, and you offered her a sweet, comforting smile; beaming with light and love, unmatched by anything else... except for the look Nicky would give her when he was alive.
"I told you. I am with you until the end." You reminded her and squeezed her hand in reassurance.
Agatha used her free hand hand and cupped your cheek, every move done with outmost care; as if you would break into thousands of pieces with a wrong move.
"This might be the end, sugar." She admitted, slowly accepting the fact that she was not going to survive the road the second time.
"Then I will be happy to know I made it so far with you. If it means dying, I don't mind as long as I am in your arms. "
Agatha was the first to pull you into a hug this time, her arms wrapping tightly around you; passively seeking comfort and also trying to get control of her emotions... of her mind and her heart.
You returned the action without hesitation, squeezing her in your arms with all your might; as if she would disappear into thin air if you dared to let her go.
You buried your neck into her thick curls, eyes closed as you fought back tears; both getting emotional over the confession while accepting more and more that this could be the end... for both of you.
Another flickering light above you reminded you of the time that was left, but it was not your concern anymore.
Slowly, you pulled back but kept your hands interlocked; never letting the other truly go
Agatha looked at you with care, and she chose to open up one last time. "You know... I am not ready to confront him yet." She confessed.
"Little Nicky?"
She nodded. "I... he was not meant to be born, Y/N... Rio gave us time, and I paid her back with the bodies of other witches I drained... and it all worked fine for 6 years, until the night... the night he asked me not to go after the witches... the night Rio had to take him back."
You squeezed her hands, seeing how misty her eyes were becoming as she relieved those dark memories that overshadowed the good ones she had with him.
And you could see it because you knew it was what Agatha did in such situations. Dark moments were the only things she truly remembered, letting them consume her heart and make her forget the good ones that existed at the same time.
So, you chose to change that.
"He was a brave boy, Agatha," you started, making her focus on you. "I can still remember how mesmerised he was, when we told him we survived the Road... and how proud he was of that... of us..." Agatha let out a mix of weak chuckle and sob while your heart ached with each beat as you remembered the sweet and innocent face of the boy you had come to love as your own. "And I remember how persistent he was to learn of the Ballad, wanting to go down that Road as well... and when we told him no, he just made up his own Ballad... and each time you would visit, you two would have finished another part of it. "
Agatha sniffed, and you swallowed a lump down your throat, tears prickling at the edge of your eyes; threatening to escape and roll down your cheek.
Your breathing was difficult as you tried to keep down the sobs, the memories happy but also painful; a reminder of a brighter time in your life, a time that would never be able to be replaced.
"I remember," Agatha said weakly with a faint smile, your retelling reminding her of the sweet moments you were talking about.
"I don't think he will ever judge you, Ags. He loved you too much," you reassured her.
With shaking hands, Agatna pulled away from your grip and went to unclip her amulet; Evanora's brooch with the triple Goddess, a steady item of her wardrobe.
She slowly opened it, and from inside, she gently held a short patch of hair; neatly tucked inside for safekeeping.
"I have kept it with me all this time... to never forget him, " Agatha confessed and placed the hair close to her heart, wishing deeply that she could feel and hear Nicholas' heart beat one last time.
You could only watch as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand, the moment too precious and heavy to be interrupted. This was a deep point in your relationship and even deeper in Agatha's trauma with the loss of her son.
Agatha, with teary eyes, was about to put the lock back into the brooch when she noticed something... something that she swore was never there before.
She placed the hair back and took out what seemed to be a dried up seed/petal of a dandelion. So weak, small and tiny... unable to ever grow.
As your eyes landed on it, sowmthing clicked inside your mind; just as the lights flickered, and now you were left with only one.
"Agatha, the dandelion!" You exclaimed. "That's the key to this trial!"
Chapter 43
#agatha harkness x reader#let me know if you guys want an AU chapter#a filler about Nicky and Agatha and Reader in the past#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha spoilers#agatha fanfic#agatha x reader#moon phases fanfic#kathryn hahn#marvel#aubrey plaza#lebsian#angst
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Everyday a Little Death
A little Wukong Angst I did a while back haha.
I've got a lot of stuff to update onto this lol
#art#digital art#artwork#shadowpeach#lmk wukong#lmk fanart#lmk macaque#lmk#lmk sun wukong#lmk shadowpeach#lmk animatic#lmk angst#lmk art#lmk swk#lmk six eared macaque#light angst#poor Wukong#five phases mountains#jttw#jttw sun wukong#monkey kid#monkey king
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It's way too hot and I am way too tired to do any more efforts, so excuse the critical lack of quality here.
If you didn't know, Cole is my favourite Power Ranger :D
And while I was binge watching Ninjago I had the pleasant surprise to see him physically and mentally traumatized in season 5 😈
And since I'm a huge sucker for angst, my brain immediately thought of developing that idea in order to hurt my beautiful baby boy some more. That and also the fact that my brain immediately looks for logic in the laws of cartoon physics (I really shouldn't do that...)
So I bring you the "Cole is a Ghost Kind-of-Saga". I still have a few more ideas to exploit, notably adressing the ways the other ninjas will help him cope with his new condition :3
And maaaaybeeeee a small comic too 😇
Anyways, I will let my brain rest a bit for now and sleep.
#I really want to rant about the things I wrote but my brain is melting#but basically ghosts are part of another plane of existence or smt#which explains for me why they can't really interact with anything from the living world#and also why Cole has visions#and why he has a different perception of time and can randomly space out#and I thought Cole was a bit different from other ghosts because he left the temple at the same second the sun arrived#and it is the reason why he isn't forced to stay in the temple#but also why he can interact with objects more easily#again these are just conjectures and headcanons from me#don't take this seriously#and also YES I'm gonna LOVE to write about his friends reactions#and how they can help him go through this#Because I still think that it is a lot#And Cole must suffer about it#But I also think that he is not the kind to express his feelings so he would suffer in silence#so his friends will have to be supportive without being too invasive#I think that there will also be a phase where they will prevent him from fighting/going out at all to protect him#because he would risk his life when they fight against other ghosts and he can't touch water and still has problem controlling his abilities#so even more angst because he would feel useless and the others would fear for him nonstop#my art#ninjago fanart#ninjago season 5#ninjago cole#ninjago#cole is a ghost
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In TSATS do you think the nicknames Will and Nico use for one another like serious or them just taking the piss out of each other?
i honestly think theyre trying to embarrass each other more than mean it seriously and its just. a thing they do (so definitely the second one)
like readers will say “ugh theyre so cringe” but im sure solangelo themselves r aware it is cringe and embarrassing for the other (mostly nico if i remember correctly) and thats why they do it
theyre not going around seriously talking to each other like: “oh honey boo, pumpkin patch, sweet, summer, sticky, strawberry pie with whipped cream and GAY. RAINBOW. SPRINKLES.”
kinda like with percabeth except slightly worse because they want to be worse yk
#theyre an old married couple acting out a honeymoon phase except theyve always been the old married bickering couple with a little bit of#fluff and angst mixed with the bantering#tsats#the sun and the star#solangelo#nico di angelo#will solace#pjoverse#anon ask
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A thousand bodies piled up I never thought would be enough To show you just what I've been thinking
#a ship so good it made me edit to mcr lyrics. save me#i thought i was cooking while making the gifs but now however i have no idea what i birthed#so i send this out into the world and let you kind ppl in my phone interpret it as you wish#agatha all along#agathario#aaaedit#tvedit#marveledit#marvelgifs#agatha harkness#rio vidal#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#agatha x rio#mcuedit#mine#my gifs#it was the total absence of sound in agatha's death scene that brought this on btw. and ''kiss goodbye'' ofc#and i'm in a phase where i listen to bullets A LOT lately#any song is sort of a puzzle where you can take bits and read diff meanings into them i love the way it's constructed man#the text in the post i threw in the last second in relation to agatha#i mean she did send thousands of bodies rio's way... what a way to show your love girl! romance!#the hug in ep4 did feel like a goodbye actually. a sweet tender one. and then in ep8 the dramatic its-over-forever one#UGHHHH anyways#reliving-the-death-of-your-loved-one angst hits Hard when death is an entity that can manipulate time/percieves it differently#how long was the kiss + the aftermath of it in her perspective?#''i stared as this moment was held for me'' fr#(i am not okay i am rambling)#ik rice is wedding imagery but like. if you can have the kiss of death why not have the wedding of death while you're at it#ANYWAYS. UUUGHHHHHHHHHH
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helmet sketches of two characters very different and upsettingly alike
#im going through a phase (reading comic angst)#magneto#red hood#erik lehnsherr#jason todd#xmen#x men#batfam#batman#drawing hearts in the byline#dc
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Phases ♡ Matt Sturniolo
Phase 4 - Luteal
Summary: Matt tracks your cycle so he knows how to look after you each phase Warnings: angst, body image issues, crying, fluff, Wordcount: 895
This series is complete. To find the other parts click here
A loud, frustrated groan breaks the silence of the room causing Matt to look up from his phone. He has been waiting for you to get ready for your date for close to an hour now but every outfit has been tossed to the ground again in frustration after only minutes of being on your body.
You had finally given up and tried to put on your ‘default outfit’ consisting of your favorite jeans and a basic t-shirt. The outfit you trust the most and feel the most comfortable in, usually. However your last shred of hope seemed to die as you realized even your most reliable clothes just don’t feel right.
It isn’t just the way it looks in the mirror; with your belly tightly bloated and clearly pulling the fabric tighter than its intended. It’s the way it feels on your skin; everything feels too close to you, too tight, itchier than normal, too hot, too sweaty, too much fabric, not enough fabric.
“Baby…” Matt starts carefully as you begin to tug your current outfit off roughly, “...what’s wrong?”
“I hate it!” you cry out, throwing your pants angrily at the floor. “Those are my favorite! Why don’t they feel right?” Your voice comes out louder than you had intended but the overwhelming frustration you’re experiencing clouds your mind and makes it difficult for you to care about your tone. Your shirt follows your pants to the ground closely as you slam the fabric down, turning to glare at your reflection in the mirror.
“They looked good…” Matt starts but stops himself as he catches the clear anger displayed on your face. “...sweetheart, just come lie down for a minute”
You stand in place, staring angrily at the ground where your favorite jeans now lie crumpled in a pile. Bra and underwear sitting disheveled on your skin from the frantic way you had ripped the previous outfits off. Your mind hadn’t really registered Matt’s careful words. The thoughts screaming through your mind have replaced any real, outside sounds as your mind spirals angrily.
Why does your body have to change so much each day? Why is it today, of all days, that your favorite jeans just don’t feel right?
The thoughts continue spinning in your brain as you release a frustrated huff of air and collapse face down on the bed next to Matt. You lay there, with your face in the pillow, completely still as the frustration of the morning finally causes tears to well up in your eyes. Your lip begins to wobble against the sheets of Matt’s bed and your eyes ache as the well finally begins to overflow. Warm tears spill slowly, calmly down your cheeks and into the pillow case - a stark contrast from the emotion that had caused them.
The frustrating mix of feelings you are experiencing have finally stormed together enough for you to just feel numb, unable to move or think. Every thought or decision is just too overwhelming. The calmness of your breakdown seems almost eerie as the tears continue to fall silently, soaking your cheeks and the sheets burying your face. Your breathing remains regular and not heaving with sobs like your boyfriend was expecting and he hesitates, unsure of how to approach this unfamiliar mix of emotions.
Matt’s hands slowly make their way onto your back, gently soothing over your skin. After a few moments you flop your body over to lie on your back and look over to Matt. He feels his chest tighten as he sees the wet remnants of your frustrated tears smeared across your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy.
“Sweetheart, d’you want to wear my sweats?..” He suggests hesitantly, his voice soft as his fingers come up to your cheeks to wipe them dry.
No words leave your mouth, responding with a simple nod and pulling yourself up to sit on the edge of the bed as Matt moves towards the dresser and retrieves your favorite pair of pink sweats from his drawer.
“I’ll get your favorite hoodie for you too, hm?” He opens another draw, pulling out a second pile of comfortable fabric and passing the pair to you.
Dejectedly, you begin to pull on the outfit. The material feels much softer on your sensitive body and you let out a small sigh, relaxing slightly.
Matt releases a small chuckle at his phone, a new notification had popped up on his screen.
“Thanks for the heads up” he mutters quietly to himself before glancing over to see you looking much more calm in his baggy sweats.
“I know your distaste for steak but… just eat it, please? You’re always so iron deficient on your period and if you eat this now you’ll have plenty of iron for when you start next week…”
It’s not that you don’t like the flavor of steak, it’s not even the texture. It’s just something about eating a massive slab of meat feels so off putting. But as you look up at your caring boyfriend standing next to you, looking so proud of the steak he prepared for you, you decide to push through.
Matt’s right, your period is due next week and often you find yourself light headed due to the loss of blood. Getting your iron levels up in preparation doesn’t seem like a bad idea.
Masterlist
#matt sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo blurb#phases by issysh3ll#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets
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Do people even read Eternals fics anymore???
I was going to publish an Eternals x reader fic I've had in my drafts for quite a while now, but if nobody reads them anymore I'll keep them in drafts.
Please let me know, dear readers!!
THE FIC: I Am You
Part 1
#eternals x reader#marvel x reader#druig#druig x reader#angst#fluff#fanfiction#mcu phase 4#marvel fanfiction#marvel fandom#makkari#eternals#sprite#gilgamesh#thena#kingo
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"Grasping At Ghosts"
Dess here to tell you that these three make up the very core of my being. Also, time for my bi-monthly reminder that Kirby did not beat Marx into submission, Marx's very crown-like wings went haywire after taking enough of a beating (just like the Master Crown) and it was that which sent him crashing into Galactic Nova to his doom.
Parallels, parallels...
I suppose the really frightening thing is that, unlike with Magolor and the Master Crown, Marx still possesses (possessed by) the wings to this day, meaning if they really are akin to the Crown, he's still under its(?) sway. Given the fact that his eyes bug out if you leave him standing in Star Allies long enough... and yeah...
#Kirby#Dess Ilust#Magolor#Marx Kirby#CW: angst#Marx is not okay...#(Dess returning to my Sad Marx phase)#(And Sad Magolor too. About time really!)#RtDL DX spoilers
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if i wind up writing fic for anyone other than caitvi its going to be timebomb summer camp counsellors au i just know it. look at jinx (when she's not depressed, at least), then look at e7 powder and tell me that in either universe she isn't destined to be the most legendary camp counsellor on the planet... and ekko as the counsellor of the cabin she's sworn enemies with who win colour war every year... but then they're forced to head up the same cabin, confronting the ghosts of their childhood friendship
you see the vision
#arcane#timebomb#smth that is close to my heart in aus is having relatively low stakes past events that closely mirror canon events for comedy#so instead of whole family dying -> powder becomes jinx (trauma) its zaundads divorce -> powder becomes jinx (emo phase)#instead of going to prison vi is in summer school or smth. maybe juvie but summer school might be funnier#characters still angst abt it all but the reaction is so overdramatic compared to what you know it could have been#levi.doc#isha is ofc there as one of the newest kids in the cabin#maybe uses some kind of aac but sticks to jinx/ekko bc they both learned asl as kids (so they could talk in code)?#OH and i could even maybe make jinx/ekko camp nicknames if i wanted to#yall maybe i will write this sometime lmao
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