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unconventional-lawnchair · 5 months ago

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We'll heal together: Chapter Five

I Will Wait Mumford & Sons

Sirius Black x Reader (Past) / Remus Lupin x Reader (Ambiguous-Past)

Masterlist

Summary: Reader is still having dreams of her past, while McGonagall convinces Dumbledore to remove the curse on her.

Cw: Use of {Y/N}, Mean Remus, Jealous/Jerk Sirius, Fights, mentions of death and murder, minor character death (please reach out if I missed something}

Wc- 4364

A/n: Starting a taglist! Comment to Dm to be added!

You stayed in Moody’s comfort for what felt like hours. You could have stayed for days more, but eventually the strain to your still throbbing limbs and aching body was doing you in.

Moody practically herded you to the couch, allowing you to sit down, and after some push back with him trying to get you to lay down, he eventually gave in and allowed you to sit across from him. Pillows propping up your sides, a horrible tasting healing potion, a cup of tea for a chaser, and a blanket rested on your lap later, you two figured starting from day one was the best course of action.

“October 29th, 1981. What happened?” Moody asked in a careful but stern tone. You weren't used to him being so gentle with you, you guessed twelve years apart could do that to a person. You gave a sigh and set the teacup aside, relaxing back into the makeshift throne and looked at the ceiling, eyes closing as the pain began to disappear.

“It was a botched mission. Someone sold us out.” You explained slowly.

“With Mad-Eye out of commission sick, we need someone to go in his place.” Gideon told you, having knocked on your door late at night with Fabian at your gate keeping watch. Gideon took the paper that etched out your address, Lupin’s handwriting scribbled on the crumbled paper, as the elder twin set it in your outstretched hand. With the Fidelius charm that protected your home ever since Voldemort marked you for death, you made an impulsive decision to make Lupin your secret keeper.

You hadn't spoken to Sirius in months after your argument and subsequently, your break up. Peter and you were already the Potter’s secret keepers, the last logical step would be Remus. Especially after what happened to Marlene and Dorcus just a few months prior. He was hesitant at first, but when you pushed he caved. He always made it easy for you.

(“You weren't suspicious?” Mad-Eye demanded and you quickly shook your head. “No, if Lupin had to write my address down it meant something. He refused to do it every time he'd been asked, said it was too easily given to others.”)

You snapped your fingers, and the paper burned to ash at your feet. “I didn't know Moody could get sick.” You tried to joke, and Gideon gave you a grimace and Fabian looked back at you two. Your lips twitched. The twins aren't joking? That's slightly nerve wracking.

“So? What do you say?” Gideon implored, and you nodded, biting your lip.

“Let me get dressed.”

“They came to your house at midnight to recruit you for a mission?” Moody asked in a shocked and angry tone. “One you weren't briefed on? My mission?” He implored and you gave a small nervous smile, to keep the peace.

“It wasn't the first time if it makes you feel better.”

“Far worse.” Moody practically shouted and you winced. He huffed and lowered his voice, arms crossing and leaning back in his seat. “So what next?”

“Well, I got ready and we left to get to the rendezvous point. It should have been simple, just ambushing a few dark wizards couldn't have been much harder then what we had been doing. The tip said there should be three, two already there and one coming later with what we assumed to be supplies we could garnish.”

“I don't see anyone.” Fabian announced as you three sat among the trees. His wand was to his throat, so even with him across the clearing his voice was transported to your ear, where the weird snake ear clip they gave you relayed his voice. The twins had always been making trinkets and inventions, ever since you first met them, that was one of their defining traits. That and they were absolute children, who tested them on you any chance they got.

“Shouldn't there be people here by now?” You asked, pressing your wand to your jugular, and you heard shuffling before Gideon spoke up. “Maybe we're early?”

(“If you felt it was off you should have left.”

“Would you have?”)

Suddenly there was a loud sound of apparition behind you. You snapped your head around and went silent. Fuck.

There before you were five death eaters and they didn't seem ready for a simple trade off. Fully decked out in battle gear, they began to walk around the clearing and muttered things between themselves.

Then, a voice boomed through the forest. “Alastor Moody!” He called into the clearing. You knew that voice immediately, your stomach dropped. Antonin Dolohovs. “Moody, come out my old friend!”

You looked to your sides and peaked at Fabian who tightened his grip on his wand, then to your right and saw Gideon already looking at you. He gestured down hill, as if telling you to run, and you refused. Shaking your head you looked back at your left and the other Prewett twin seemed to have the same idea. You pressed your wand to your neck and lowered your voice, as Antonin went on a manic rant.

“We need more men. One of us has to get someone.” You implored before you quickly hitched your breath as one of the five Death Eaters got too close to your hiding spot.

“Gideon, you do it.” You heard Fabian command and Gideon gave a huff.

“We should send the kid.” He hissed back. “We can stand our own.”

“Send {L/N}? The girl who is supposed to be in hiding straight to the rat infested Ministry? No chance.”

You held your breath as your back nuzzled closer to the tree root you hid in. The closer he got the louder your heart blared in your ears. You took a deep breath as he began to slip past the root and almost spotted you. That was, until Fabian recklessly shot a spell at him. Everything happened in slow motion.

Gideon raised his wand, mid apparition, watched as Dolohov raised his wand and shouted. “Crucio!” But he couldn't stop, apparating away from the field as his brother wailed.

Fabian fell to the floor, and you covered your mouth. Quickly shooting your hands to your ears and your body shook out in terror at his blood curdling screams.

“I found another one!” One of them shouted and grabbed you by your arm, dragging you out. Tossing you on the ground by your limp friend. You shuttered and quickly stammered to your feet, hurrying to back pedal away from them, before your back fell against Antonin’s chest. Quickly, you tried to rectify your actions, but he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and tucked you closer. You squirmed and hissed, stomping back to try and hit your heel to his shoe.

It worked and he flinched hard enough for you to get out of his grasp. You went for your sleeve but froze when you looked at the manic wizard and saw him holding up your wand. He had snagged it in your tussle. “Fuck...” You whispered and he bellowed a laugh.

“Moody sent you instead, huh? Pretty thing you are, can't possibly have been on your own for longer than a year.” He taunted but you kept your expression mute. The less he knew about you, the better.

“Wait, sir.” One of his lackeys spoke up and you stifled a wince. “That's {Y/N} {L/N}.” He declared with a shocked laugh. “Voldemort would be ecstatic if we brought her to him.”

Antonin looked you over before he wet his lip and fiddled with your wand. “{L/N}, hm? Your father has done a lot for our cause.” He gave a sickening curl to his lips as he pressed the wand to your neck. “Thank you for your service, darling. Let's get you home.”

Before you could even formulate a plan, one of his other lackeys pointed their wand to Fabian.

“No!” You screamed, shoving past Antonin and running towards the two, but halfway there and the words already left his lips. Avada Kedavra. Your entire body froze up as your eyes locked with Fabian's, and you watched the light leave them. You stood there, horrified. The men around you didn't even see you as a threat. They allowed you to stand there, talking among themselves.

You felt pathetic. Without a wand you couldn't do a thing. You found yourself wishing you studied wandless magic, because you were truly as weak as you felt. Just a girl. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. 'What's your last resort?’ You heard Alastor’s words echo in your ears. Run.

So, you ran. Bolted for the tree line. Alastor always told you, if you had no other choice, you were young. ‘Strip your battle gear,’ You heard him as you tore off the blackened leather wrap around your chest, vaulting over an overgrown tree root. Tossing your bulky boots and sharply turning your direction as you heard their shouts after you. ‘Get out of eyesight, go one direction, leave evidence of the contrary.’

You stumbled to a small river and looked around. Their voices that were once fading outgrew closer. You were breathing heavily, your socks were stained and one bloodied from a sharp rock cutting your toe, too filled with adrenaline to notice. You looked around before you took the bloodied sock and wet it, chucking it across the body of water before turning sharply on your heel and ran across the tree line to hide behind a moss-covered rock.

You held your breath, closing your eyes tight and remembered his number one rule. ‘Never panic.’ So, you sat there. Their voices and footsteps passed, and eventually you heard splashing as they ran across the river and soon you couldn't hear them at all. You waited a little bit longer before you looked around. You had no wand, no plan, nothing. All you could hope was that Fabian still had his.

You shakily rose to your feet and began to stalk back.

You hadn't realized just how far you had gone. When you made it back, the moon was in the middle of the sky, and Gideon was still not back. You kneeled down by Fabian's body and turned him over. You gave a sigh of relief when you saw his wand. You kept your hand on his chest, it was still warm, like it was taunting you. You thinned your lips and raised his wand to the sky. “Expecto Patronum!” You declared.

You were weak, so was the disobedient wand, struggling to focus on the good in your mind. You waved your hand, and the fox finally appeared. “Take this message to Lupin.” You whispered softly. “Ambushed. Fabian, dead. Gideon, status unknown. May be splinched.” You panted out. “Running. Five looking for me. Antonin Dolohov.” It's all you could muster, quickly dismissing your patronus and looking back to Fabian. “I just... need to rest.” You whispered as you felt yourself slowly fall against his stomach.

You didn't know how long you were out for, but the first thing you heard was Albus’s soothing voice. You stirred.

“There you are.”

You turned to look at him and grimaced, slowly lifting yourself off of your friend and shaking to stand. Dumbledore walked over to help support you. You could have sobbed out, letting your body fall against his chest. You didn't even have time to wonder why he was here, not Remus or Gideon. “H-he-”

“I know. I know dear child.” He hushed and ran his hand up and down your back. You shook and sobbed in his arms, and he looked across the field.

Albus pulled back and you looked up at him threw glossy eyes, arms still outreached and resting on his forearms, looking for any semblance of warmth and comfort. “We found your letters.” He told you carefully. “We know you have been in contact with Regulus Black via concealed letter since you graduated. Before his passing.”

The heat left your face. What? How did they find those? How did he know? And why was he bringing this up, now?

“Sir, I-”

“Voldemort knows as well.”

You almost fainted. “Is that why?”

“He is after you? Yes. Now, I have a plan to keep you safer than I have. Keep this conversation renewed in your mind, so one day, we will be able to use this connection.”

“What are you talking about?” You croaked, looking over at Fabian’s body in a daze. This felt like the cruelest form of whiplash. “Professor-”

“This is for the better, {Y/N}.” He muttered against your temples you sniffled. “What is?” You croaked, and he raised his wand to your head.

“Obliviate.”

“And that was the last thing I remembered.” You sighed and grabbed your teacup, holding it to your palm for warmth. Moody seemed to be a little slower as he realized what was happening.

“Albus Obliviated you?” He asked in a breathy way, you slowly nodded. “... and you've been alive, all these years?”

“Would seem so.” You mumbled and picked at the helm of your shirt. There was a silence, it wasn't awkward, but it certainly wasn't comforting.

“Lily, James, and Harry?” You croaked out and when Moody grimaced, your heart broke.

“The boy is alive.” Moody offered and you nodded slowly, trying to gather yourself. Your voice cracked as you began to speak. “Sirius took care of him, yeah?”

Moody frowned harder and you narrowed your eyes. “No... he didn't abandon him, did he?” You prayed to whichever of the cruel gods was above you that it was a joke.

“He was, until recently, imprisoned in Azkaban.” He mused and your shoulders fell in shock, eyes wide.

“I- you- I-” You sputtered out. “Whatever for?” You implored and leaned forward.

“He sold out the Potters and... killed Peter Pettigrew.” He spoke carefully, knowing how close you two were, slow and delicate. Your eyebrows furrowed and your lips parted slightly.

“... what? Peter is... is dead?” You whispered in shock before your eyes widened. “Wait- Sirius killed Peter?!” You bellowed and snapped up to your feet.

Alastor stood up and walked towards you, but you began to pace.

“Why would he possibly need to kill him? And he would never sell out the Potters! He'd sooner die! How did he even manage to tell Voldemort!?” You practically shouted and Alastor scoffed. “A secret keeper can tell anyone.”

Then, your eyes widened, snapping over to look at Alastor. “Moody- no, Peter and I-” Then it hit you. It hit you like a bludger to the chest. Your air left your lungs.

“Moody, Peter and I were the Potter’s secret keepers.” You whispered in a shaky voice. Moody's expression stayed blank, but his false eye began to flicker side to side showing he was deep in thought.

“Merlin...”

“Peter would never, he wouldn't-” You stopped and had to think about everything you knew about Peter. He was a coward, but he was bold. He was meek and quiet, but he was confident with you. He was always charming and sweet, but you had heard from Mary and Dorcus how they saw him as slimy when he didn't get what he wanted.

The more you thought about him, the more traits you came up with for him, the more evidence there was for the contrary. Did you ever truly know Peter Pettigrew? Years ago, you would've laid down your life on the fact that Peter was trustworthy, honest, brave and kind. But the more you pondered it, he was always those things to you. Just to you. You covered your face in shame. “No...”

Moody walked up and patted your back as you tried to come to terms with it all. “But he- I- Rem! What of Remus?”

“The Lycanthrope?” Moody tutted and you glared up at him. “Don't call him that.”

Moody nodded with an eye roll and gestured to the seat for you.

You walked back over and sat down. Moody beside you. “After your disappearance, Albus called an emergency meeting. We gathered, and Albus told us of you and Fabian's death. That Gideon was leaving the order and going to America. Molly was inconsolable.”

“No! No no no!” Molly sobbed into Authur’s arms, Albus looked down solemnly at his hands.

A scoff came across the table. “That's it? That's all we get?” Sirius snarled and shot to his feet. “Who did it?” He boomed across the table. He was tired of losing people. But losing you, now, that was a new kind of pain. One he didn't want to discover quite yet, so he lashed out in anger. He hadn't felt like this since he heard of Regulus’s death.

“Who!?” He demanded as Albus kept a solemn and pitiful look. It burned Sirius up inside.

“Antonin Dolohov.” Remus spoke up from across the table. He was looking down, eyes bloodshot and clearly distressed. He was in his sleep wear, having been woken up late at night by a glowing blue fox. He could hear what she said over and over in his head. When he got there and found Dumbledore, looking down at Fabian. There was blood, and Remus could smell it. Dark magic and you.

“Ambushed. Fabian, dead. Gideon, status unknown. May be splinched. Running. Five looking for me. Antonin Dolohov.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Sirius sneered and Remus closed his eyes. “She sent me a Patronus.”

“Of course she did.” He snapped at Remus, slamming his hands on the table. “Of course she'd send it to you, wouldn't she? I bet that makes you feel real special, getting her last words.”

Remus gawked at Sirius in pure shock. It felt like he stupefied him to his chest. “And what's that supposed to mean?” He suddenly snapped back and stood as well. Alice was quick to nudge Frank, both parties standing up to make sure the two didn't jump across the table and shred each other.

“Do you think I'm daft? Do you think I didn't notice the way you looked at my Fiancé, Remus?” He bellowed across the room and Remus gave a laughing scoff. “This is how you want to have this conversation, Sirius? Now?” He snapped back and Sirius gave an incredulous laugh.

“When else? She's fucking dead, she can't come save you now.”

“You've gone mental!”

“No one worth being sane for left!”

“Maybe if you hadn't left her, this wouldn't be happening!” Remus shouted and that seemed to physically stun Sirius. “If you hadn't pushed her away until she hit her breaking point, until she had to come to me of all people, you could be at home right now waking up to her! But you didn't, you failed her Sirius.” Remus cut and cut as deep as he could. Sirius was silent for a moment and his mouth grew dry. Suddenly, he picked up a plate and threw it at Remus, the latter just managing to sidestep it before the Black stormed out.

Alice tutted and Remus looked down at her, breathing heavily. Slowly, he noticed the looks of pure horror on everyone's face. He knew he had gone too far. He cleared his throat and muttered an apology, turning to quickly leave.

Through all the chaos, no one noticed Peter leave moments later. He was walking down the street. His hands in his pockets and head down. Lost in deep thought, about you. No one truly knew the snake that was Peter Pettigrew. He was a people pleaser, he wanted validation and clung to the biggest bully in the yard like a vise. Originally, that was why he wanted to get to know you. You were James Potter's childhood friend, but you also managed to befriend several of the most influential Slytherins and purebloods of their school years. You were confident, unashamed to be you, the opposite of him.

The more he got to know you, however, the more he truly cared. He loved his friends, he loved them all, but there was only one he'd fight for. You. Foolish you. You swore to him you would give your life for the Potters, for Sirius and Remus, himself included, but he never wanted it to get this far. When he first found the letters between you and Regulus, he felt hope. That maybe, just maybe, you were like him. Buying yourself time with information.

He hoped that when he brought these letters to Voldemort, he would finally be convinced of your worth to the cause. That he would lend him more time to let him convert you. Then the dark lord sent out a notice for your capture; he knew he had made a mistake. He should have de-charmed and read the letters himself, but it was all he could think of. Your safety, with him, like he always promised.

Last night was a fluke. A fluke that cost him more than he was willing to put on the line. It should have been Moody. That's what he knew, Moody, and the Prewetts. They should have been the ones to die that night. Instead, it was you. You lost your life, as you always promised, for the cause.

The cause? The cause. The cause that sent in children to die like cattle. His dearest friend falling to the hands of a god he placated. You died for the Potters. For Black. For Lupin. You died for him… Anger bubbled under the surface. The charm was broken, he would go to the Potters to repair it tonight. Then, he would be there the next night, with the dark lord by his side. He wanted them to hurt. To hurt like he was, to ensure they had no one else. No one, like him.

“But that leaves one thing that I do not understand.” Moody challenged and you rolled your tongue. He opened his coat and pulled out a long box, holding it out to you. You narrowed your eyes before he opened it, revealing a wand. Not any wand, your wand. You gasped and reached for it, before he quickly shut it closed. You glared at him, and he flicked the box onto his lap. The box looked worn, like it had been in his pocket for years. It made you feel warm. He has been keeping you close this whole time. You were not forgotten. But clearly, he planned to make you work for it.

“What is it?”

“What was in those letters? And why were you talking to the youngest Black?” He leaned closer, trying to use the same techniques he taught you about interrogation. You rolled your eyes, you can count on one hand the number of times you lied to Moody since you were 16, you didn't plan to keep counting. Four times.

“He was telling me things. Things about Voldemort’s plans, what he had done and who he had done it to. In exchange, I kept him updated on Sirius, I promised to keep him safe. He also kept me up to date on a few Death Eaters I had known in school. I want to tell you, but I feel I should talk to Dumbledore first. I feel I deserve a proper explanation as to why this happened to me.” You muttered bitterly and then your face scrunched up in a pout. “I also have a certain cat to see.”

“Cat?”

“Glasses.” You mumbled and Moody shook his head in confusion. Tossing the box on the table and you quickly snatch it, opening it up and pulling out your wand with a sigh of relief.

“Until further notice, you are to be on house arrest.”

“What? That can't be true! Isn't Voldemort gone?” You scoffed, crossing your arms.

“There are some who believe otherwise. Regardless, you are dead, the minister is still working through a story to tell the world about your reappearance.”

You scoffed and rubbed your temple. “And what of Harry? Who has he been with?” You challenged and Moody frowned.

“His mother’s sister.”

“That monster!? No, Moody, I must see him!” You begged. “I have no idea what they could have done to that boy! He deserves to be with family!” You stood up sharply and Moody scoffed.

“The boy is with family!”

“No, for Merlin’s sake he is not! I am his family! Sirius and Remus! I don't care what anyone has said, Petunia Evans is a wicked monster of a woman! I have heard Lily’s horror stories! I am his Godmother! I demand to see him!” Your voice filled the entire house. Lily had spent most of her school years protecting you from your family, you have left her son for twelve years, unable to protect him from her family. He deserved a home, you don't care what people seem to think, people like her could not change.

“And what a Godmother you will be, your home has no wards protecting it, you have nowhere to take him, and your vaults are locked until your Godson turns 18! You must wait until the minister announces you are safe to resume your life!”

“This is absolute shite!” You snapped and stormed towards the stairs like an emotional teenager. “I am going to my room!”

“And stay in there!” He snapped back as your footsteps stomped up the steps and the sound of a slamming door rang through the house.

Even after that argument, Moody couldn't help but sit down and smile at the fireplace. You were annoying and unruly, and he has missed that spunk.

~~ “Make that five.” You muttered to yourself. You walked over to the radio and turned it on. You muttered a small enchantment on a pillow, and it began to levitate. You pushed it out the window and jumped onto it. It began to fall quickly, before you transformed. The sudden shift in weight slowed the descent significantly. You landed in the grass and hurried out into the field. Making sure no one could see you, being a fox was fox was fine, but being a silver, fox is what raised eyebrows. Sorry Moody, I have to see my Harry.

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