#People treat you shitty and then high school ends.

[miguel-owhora]

And while I'm descending into a blue filled, far left madness, let me make one thing very clear: I hope everyone who voted for Trump, voted for a third party candidate, or didn't vote at all, gets exactly what they deserve. I don't care if it seems harsh or insensitive, you deserve exactly what you voted for, or refused to vote for, and I hope it hurts you, I hope you regret it.

When natural disasters come knocking at your doorsteps, I hope it destroys your inbred, hillybilly, red-coded states. I hope it takes the government months to provide assistance. I hope they don't provide assistance. I hope the death toll in the MAGA community increases every day and every week and every month and every year. I hope your businesses get destroyed, I hope you have to file for bankruptcy, I hope you get denied assistance, I hope everything you worked for ends up to be nothing in the end.

I hope the dumb stay dumb, the uneducated stay uneducated. I hope they eliminate public school funding and the red states begin to crumble. I hope they never graduate high school, never get a diploma or a GED. I hope red state universities shut down from the lack of enrollment, I hope any public services move elsewhere. I hope every MAGA never gets out of their shitty red state, I hope they're stuck there, forced to breed with their cousin or their sister or their brother, forced to work a dead end job that never offers any bonuses or extra pay because of their shitty MAGA laws. I hope they only make enough to barely survive, only to cover their needs. I hope they never have any leftover money to indulge in their wants.

And I hope they lose their access to birth control. I hope all healthcare providers move away from the red states. I hope they continue to breed again and again, and I hope they never get any government assistance for their inbred children with informalities that'll keep them braindead and unable to care for themselves into adulthood. Those children don't deserve it, I know, but it's all part of God's plan. I hope that's what MAGAs hear when they plead for assistance, for help. I hope MAGA women end up with miscarriages and rainbow babies, forced to carry them to full term just to birth a being with no heartbeat. I hope MAGA men lose their MAGA women, their MAGA mothers and wives and sisters and daughters and cousins, to the very same MAGA laws they imposed on them. I hope blue states turn them away. I hope MAGAs come to regret it.

And when MAGA POC realize they're never going to be white MAGAS, I hope they start asking for help, just to be turned away by the very blue POC that tried to look out for them. I hope MAGA POC turn to their oppressors and ask for assistance, and become a target of police brutality or mass deportation or hate crimed for not being white; those people would never accept them, and now their own people won't welcome them back.

And the MAGA queers, I hope they realize that they'd have them hanged and thrown into a ditch before they're treated with a decency of human respect. They're a sinner in their eyes, and I hope the MAGAs show them how much they hate them by beating them until they're muddled colors of the pride flag. I hope they realize they wouldn't be allowed to freely advocate against their own best interests if it weren't for the queers before us, who fought and died for our existence. I hope they realize they've abandoned the only community that would fight for them, I hope when they start a petition or a GoFundMe, and all the donations they get are Bible quotes.

And those morally righteous voters, I hope they know they voted against what could've helped them out. I hope they know everything they fought for, everything they boycotted, was all for nothing. I hope they come to realize their own arrogance and need to be right, to be a savior, has cost them everything in the end. I hope they know they've doomed a country - not country, countries, communities and populations, to their own extinctions. The only people they helped was MAGA and a longer path to genocide. I hope they realize their inability and refusal to rally behind a woman who could've, no matter how slim, helped them and their cause will further stray them from their goal. People will continue to die because of them. Change starts by uniting together, and I hope they realize change will not be appearing any time soon

I hope all those self-hating, uneducated, brainwashed dumbfucks get exactly what they voted for. I hope they're surprised and shocked, I hope it hurts them, I hope it hurts their friends and their families and their communities. I hope the people they care about get hurt. I hope MAGAs stay poor, stay uneducated, stay in their red bubble, and I hope it consumes them and chokes them and beats them and kills them. I hope they know the rest of the country and world will only watch when they begin to plead for help.

One day I'll fr run for presidency, and I expect every yaoi lover to vote for me. Gays, fags, queers, vote for me and I'll make yaoi loving a constitutional right.

[luckyclaw]

There's something beautiful in the changes Carrie 2002 made and I won't apologize for how genuine and honest its sort of optimism is

Between the principal having a file on Chris' bullying, the confrontation in the lipstick isle, Ms. Desjarin telling Carrie about how High School doesn't last forever... even before the final twist at the end, this version is setting up a LOT more allies in Carrie's corner. This really changes the flavor of the tragedy-- it's about how people can still TRY to help and that doesn't fix everything.

I really connected with the way that Carrie's teachers have a lot more care for her, how they WILL fight for her, but they just... can't win completely. She still has to go home to Margaret. She still has to deal with Chris and her goons. Bystanders still go along with the bullying and regret it later. Carrie gets some wins and gets a witty line in here and there, but is still getting harassed every day from all sides.

But like Ms. Desjarin says; High School isn't forever. And I think that goes perfectly with the twist in the end.

Carrie HAS to survive in this version. She HAS to learn that Chris was lying when she said that Sue was "making a project" out of her. Because this version is about moving on from your pain and your mistakes, not the retribution upon the sinners.

But in her haze, she herself lashes out and hurts others, and not necessarily those who deserve it. The principal, 8 prom kids, random people in the town. Even the death of Chris is more incidental in Carrie 2002! If she didn't happen to be driving that way, she would have survived!

"Jesus loves us all. Even me." Carrie is taking the power of the religious abuse back by focusing on LOVE. On the people who LOVE HER. Her mother drowns her in the bathtub and it's her FRIEND who pulls her out, like a baptism, she has been born again.

(and then they kiss.)

[nexus-nebulae]

really fucks me up how much i've been told that visibly showing symptoms of depression is inherently abusive

[reasonsforhope]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but especially with the end of the school year coming up soon, and a bunch of people about to leave high school or about to leave college, I just wanted to say:

Being an adult can be really nice, actually!!!

Like, okay, yeah, life can be fucking stressful sometimes, and there's definitely an annoying amount of paperwork.

But me and just about every single adult I know will agree: I would never choose to go back to being a teenager, even if I somehow could.

Insert obvious disclaimer that nothing is universal. But for people worried about aging or graduating into the next chapter of life, here's some words of reassurance:

When you're a teenager, your brain is extra mean to you. Like, neurologically. All of the changes it's undergoing really, really increase rates of depression/anxiety/etc. A lot of the time, literally just not being a teenager anymore is really good for your mental health

Less than five months out of high school, everyone I knew my age was like "Thank fuck we're no longer in high school." Once you leave high school and adolescence there's really just such a dramatic drop in petty bullshit. Shit that would have been a huge social humiliation or gossip in high school is really often just like, "Hate that for you, man." Boom, done.

When you're a teenager or a brand new adult, you're encountering so many problems for the first time ever. When you're older, you just. Have learned how to handle a lot more things. You know what to do way more often and that builds confidence

When you're an adult, other people generally don't care if you don't do things perfectly, because jobs and life don't work like grades. This was such a trip to learn, honestly? But when you are an adult or have a job the bar for success is usually just "Did you do the thing?" or "Did you do the thing well enough that it works?" or "Did you show up to work for your whole shift and look like you were doing things?"

Similarly, if you're about to graduate college and you're really stressed about it, fyi just about everyone I knew in college ended up very quickly going "wow, 'real life' is way easier." Admittedly I went to a school full of very stressed out perfectionists and the like, so I can't promise this is universal, but there's a very real chance that life will in many ways get easier when you graduate

WAY MORE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Literally I cannot overstate that last point. As an adult, you are (barring certain disabilities or shitty circumstances like abusive family/the criminal justice system/etc.) able to make most of your own decisions. If you want to rearrange your furniture, you can. If you want to eat tater tots at midnight, you can. If you want to get yourself a little treat, you can. You can sign contracts and make your own legal and medical decisions and not need a parent or guardian signature for just about anything ever again

You generally learn how to give fewer fucks

The people around you have also generally learned how to give fewer fucks

Even when things are shitty, being able to choose what kind of shitty a lot of the time can really be worth an awful lot

[saerins]

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 2k | content: fluff, slight angst, college au, best friends to lovers, mentions of alcohol/jealousy

note: for @luvjiro who gave me the suggestion !! i have a hc that he’s slightly possessive so i had fun with this >:) i hope you like it bae muwah <3

summary: just when you feel like giving up, sae pulls you back into him.

it’s new year’s and sae’s actually fucking bewildered.

no, not at oliver’s over-the-top party (with the girl to guy ratio being totally off, by the way), although it deserves a spot in sae’s hall of fame for being way too much for a college party.

what’s even more shocking than that is how bold you’ve gotten. you’re not even drunk, not even tipsy. but here you are, hands on his chest and that shit-eating grin on full display.

“you know the saying?”

sae sighs, wondering what bullshit you have ready for him this time, but he resigns anyway. such is the duty of a best friend or whatever. “what?”

“i think they say, if you want to savour the moment, you should totally kiss.”

if he can look even more unamused, he would. because who on earth says that? people wanting to get laid? he can imagine oliver saying that, for one. it’s a big surprise that you’re the one using it though.

“sounds shitty,” he retorts, looking away, though his arm stays glued around your waist, locking you in place. only because he’s seen the way some of the guys here are eyeing you. he’s protecting his best friend, that’s all.

his best friend who’s had a crush on him for as long as he can remember. it really is your fault for not having the competence to be subtle. you’d intended to send him an anonymous email confessing your feelings for him back in high school. but then it’s easy enough when you forget to use a burner email and use your personal one instead—full name and all.

and to think, you somehow became best friends with him after he rejected you back then. sae’s teal eyes shift from the view outside to you, head buried in his chest, probably pouting because he knows you like that now, familiar with all your tendencies.

how long has it been since then? five years, according to the math in his head.

now, in this position, sae wonders if this is just you being cheeky, or if it’s you still having feelings for him. he wonders what if he didn’t know you had feelings for him—would he be treating you any differently? would he just go fuck it and just agree to kiss you at midnight? or would he still be this cautious about stepping over the line?

but then again, if you hadn’t been such a klutz about your anonymous email, sae wouldn’t have spoken to you in the first place, wouldn’t have found you in that lecture hall and went if you wanted to confess anonymously, you suck at it. if it weren’t for you being classic you, the both of you wouldn’t have been friends. sae would’ve stuck to himself and probably would’ve deleted that mail anyway, thinking it was spam.

what was it that made him become friends with you? in part it was probably your shamelessness, your misplaced anger at him calling you out. since then, you’d told him that you’d make him regret rejecting you, that one day you’d get over him and he’d miss you. it was pretty funny, admittedly, looking at this girl he barely knew spouting all this nonsense.

he’d taken you up on that challenge, and somehow his guard slipped, let you in just a little, telling himself one day you’d be over it anyway.

yet now here he is, wondering why his heart is beating faster and faster.

it better not have anything to do with the fact that this is the first time you’d ever been so forward with him. sure, you’d spoken about how you felt on various occasions. sae’s always listened. but you’d never been this… transparent.

even when he tried to agitate you that one time by agreeing to play spin the bottle (which ended up with you sulking the whole night because every time sae spun it landed on some other girl and you always somehow got stuck with the other guys on his team).

until now, sae wonders why it irked him watching you kiss otoya or oliver or karasu.

“itoshi sae,” you call to him through gritted teeth, definitely still pouting when you tilt your face up to look at him. “it’s almost midnight, you gonna kiss me later or what?”

sae sighs, you’re such a brat.

before letting him say a word, you take that sigh to mean yet another rejection—after all, the way he first rejected you still burns fresh in your mind; how he looked at you with barely any empathy while muttering a nah, i don’t like you that way, probably would never.

you’re just another one of those girls who got rejected by itoshi sae. even if you are his best friend. doesn’t really give you any edge, so it seems.

so you sigh this time, pulling away. “nah, it’s fine.”

this time, sae’s confused. “huh?”

you wink at him, compartmentalising your feelings—any sadness didn’t deserve a place here during new year’s. it’s going to be a good party for you and you’d fake it till you make it.

“just joking, i’m gonna find someone else to entertain me,” you giggle, just to make sure you throw him off because somehow, sae is weirdly perceptive to your actual feelings every time.

before sae gets any time to respond, you crawl off the sofa and bound off in a random direction, trying to shake off your disappointment.

you find yourself at the balcony a few seconds later. wow, oliver’s apartment is actually fucking huge, because you realise he has several balconies and this is just the one at the top floor.

“hey, what’re you doing up here alone?”

by your side, quick as a flash, is otoya eita holding a beer bottle in his hand, offering it to you and then taking a swig after you shake your head.

“am i not allowed to be?”

he smirks. “just thought you’d be with sae after all,” he shrugs, mirroring your position, forearms resting on the railing and looking out at the scenery below. tokyo’s beautiful at night. “so what are you doing out here, princess?”

you roll your eyes at the sarcastic way he calls you that, but you chuckle all the same. otoya’s surprisingly good at being a distraction.

“fishing for a guy to kiss at midnight,” you tell him, before you pull back at the sight of him grinning. “and i don’t mean you, eita.”

his bangs cover half his face as he pulls back in faux shock, hand to his chest, “what’s wrong with me?”

you nudge his shoulder playfully, laughing along. “don’t you have like, six other girls at this party you slept with who’s looking for a kiss too or something?”

otoya sticks his tongue out, “ha ha very funny, y/n.” he takes another swig of his beer. “you’d beat them hands down, though. no contest.”

this time it’s your turn to stick your tongue out. “thanks eita, still not gonna sleep with you though.”

“damn it,” otoya plays along. “fuck, maybe when you get over sae then.”

because everyone knows you have a hopeless crush on itoshi sae.

“when will that be?” otoya asks, taunting you, closing the gap between you. but then a hand on his coat pulls him back and away from you, effectively ruining his moment.

“that’ll be never, so back off.”

you can only blink in confusion as you realise it’s sae here, telling otoya off for flirting with you. the same sae who reaches his hand out and waits for you to take it before leading you back into the house. the same sae who’s never interlinked fingers with you before who’s doing that exact thing now.

“um, what was that for?” you ask him once he lets go of your hand, situating the both of you at the corner of the house, near oliver’s room.

sae doesn’t respond, only holds an index finger to his lips and telling you to shush before he quietly, carefully, unlocks oliver’s room, peering inside to make sure the coast is clear before getting you to follow him in.

it’s only a minute left to midnight and while you’re slightly miffed about not having someone to kiss when new year’s hits, you think it’s fine anyway. sae’s always who you spent this occasion with, somehow, so maybe sticking with tradition is enough for you. even if it’s just as normal friends.

even if it’s less than what you want.

“this is nice,” you coo as he leads you out onto a private balcony—just for the two of you. you’re guessing oliver doesn’t know, but it’s better that way, having secrets that’s just kept between you and sae feels more thrilling anyway.

“better here than up there with all those other idiots.”

there’s a bitterness in sae’s voice that you can’t help but fixate on. “you haven’t answered my question earlier.”

“about what?”

“why’d you stop eita?”

“that guy? he’s kissed so many girls, who knows what type of sickness he’ll pass on to you.” nonchalantly. like he doesn’t give a shit. too bad for him, you know him too well by now to believe that.

you sigh. “be serious, sae.”

ten seconds to midnight and the both of you can hear everyone else counting down.

“i don’t know.”

eight.

seven.

“you’re so confusing, sae.”

four.

three.

“i don’t think i am.”

one.

then you get what you asked for from the very person you wanted it from. from the same person you’ve wanted since you were seventeen.

sae’s lips are soft and gentle on yours. so are his hands around your waist, although the pads of his fingertips dig into your sides, the side effect of having seen otoya so nearly get to kiss you and your perfect lips.

no, you can’t be with anyone else. sae doesn’t want to see you with anyone else. and maybe he’s a dick for not fully realising his feelings until now and for not doing anything about it, but he’ll treat you better than anyone else, he’ll make sure of it.

god, kissing you is addicting. especially with your soft murmurs against his lips and your hands around his neck.

“sae,” you breathe out when he finally pulls away, your foreheads connected. “what was this for?”

at this moment, sae recalls your email to him way back then.

[ one new email from: ynln@email.com ]

hi itoshi sae!

i’ve been watching you play soccer and you’re really cool on the field!! i get why people call you the prodigy now. but my favourite thing about you would be that even though you look scary, you’re actually kinda nice. maybe… i kind of like you. but you probably don’t even know i exist, so i’m gonna keep it that way hehe i’ll still be rooting for you though!!

all the best, xoxo <3

sae can’t stop from smiling against your lips when he recalls that confession, “maybe… i kinda like you.”

you pull back, stunned, thinking maybe your delusions have gotten the better of you. “itoshi sae, what did you say?”

he leans back against the railing, hands in his pockets, repeating himself, but slower. “i. like. you. yn.”

you break out into a grin before he even finishes his sentence, jumping onto him and wrapping yourself around his body, sae instinctively catching you and holding you up.

“so you were being jealous earlier?”

sae’s expression deadpans as he looks at you, “shut up or i’m taking that confession back.”

“like i’d ever let you do that,” you giggle, still in disbelief that after all these years, turns out that sae does have feelings for you after all.

before either of you can say any more, you hear a very exaggerated sigh from inside the bedroom. both of you whip your head around to find oliver there, arms crossed, probably judging the both of you.

“y/n, i’m happy for you and all that that blockhead finally admitted it, but you guys better not fuck on my bed.”

[lowkeychenle]

Cruel Summer [ZCL] (M)

Description: He wants you. Everything to do with you--your heart, your body, all while keeping your friendship. What's a man to do during a 30-day hook up to get you to stay? (This fic is Chenle's POV!)

A/N: this is inspired by 'Cruel Summer' by Taylor Swift, please do listen to this song because it is SO AMAZING.

Genre: Fluff/Smut/Angst (very minimal angst, like u rlly have to squint)

Content Warnings: LOTS OF FLUFF AND SMUT. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK OKAY. Drinking, alcohol, intoxication, some instances of friends being shitty/pushy Smut warnings: this has so much smut oh my god. anyway, use of pet names 'sunshine,' 'baby,' 'pretty,' and combinations of them, rough, unprotected sex, protected sex, choking, the smut rlly progressively gets softer but kinkier? a wee bit of dacrophyilia, one oral scene (m receiving), and i think that's it...i'm so sorry if I missed one this thing is so fucking long

Word Count: 20,050 (seriously wtf did I DO?!)

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader (feat. Mark, Haechan, Jaemin, Jeno, and two female OCs, Chaeyoung & Heewon)

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests

Day 1 | June 1st

Chenle, for his entire life, had always said summer was his favorite season. As time went on and he got older, that sentiment got less and less real to him. Now approaching his 23rd year of life, he’d been around long enough to know things younger Chenle never would’ve dreamed of.

Every single summer since high school graduation, Chenle has invited his friends to his family’s vacation house on the beach—including you, his best friend since middle school. You’d seen him through all his awkward phases, and the best part of his month-long summer excursion was seeing you despite how busy the two of you were throughout the year.

For thirty days, everything was normal. You were around, and he relished in your company.

For thirty days, he was able to forget everything except for you and a handful of other friends.

Not that he could ever not have you at the forefront of his mind. Despite the busy schedules you both endured, you somehow ended up crashing at his house often, or vice versa. He often occupied the other side of your bed and, for a long time, thought it was completely normal despite the very odd reactions some people had when he explained he wasn’t your boyfriend.

Nothing had ever happened. At least, not literally. He’d thought about making a move and kissing you, but he decided it wasn’t worth losing your friendship. Throughout your years together, he’d seen you get in relationships, get your heart broken, and break hearts. You’re comfortable being at your lowest with him, and he builds you back up piece by piece without complaint.

“Chenle,” you call from outside, jogging up to the front door. “Is everything in the car? Jaemin and Jeno are almost here.”

He raises his eyebrows as he glances around his house, wondering if he’s forgetting anything. And without meaning to, he scans over you as if he hasn’t been around you all day. Your skin glistens with a thin sheen of sweat from the overwhelming heat outside, and your shorts climb up your thighs with every passing second, but he swears he doesn’t notice.

“I think so. If we’re missing anything, we can just run into town,” he suggests, tagging his fingers on his sides to stop himself from reaching out to you.

Chenle had a little secret—one he hated keeping from you, but had to nonetheless—and it was simply that he was in love with you. It took him years to come to terms with it. After all this time, he accepted it. If he’s around you, the way he acts doesn’t have to change in the slightest. He’s always treated you as more than a best friend, as you’ve done to him, so there’s no reason for him to ruin that…right?

“You good?” You tilt your head at him. “We’re wasting time.”

“We have a whole month,” Chenle retorts.

“And you’re taking away from our first day.” Your eyes narrow, but before he responds, you turn your back on him and rush out the door, yelling at who he assumes is Jaemin finally arriving.

The four of you are driving together, while Mark, Hyuck, Heewon, and Chaeyoung were taking Mark’s car. They’d probably be a bit late, but Chenle didn’t mind.

His favorite thing was road trips—especially if you were involved. Even when Jaemin and Jeno slept in the backseat, you and Chenle had the radio up, the windows down, and you were singing at the top of your lungs. Your best look is when you’re this happy, yelling lyrics without a care in the world. He shouldn’t, but he steals glances at you whenever he can. You sing, looking at him and grabbing his arm and shaking him depending on what songs were on. Giggles pour out of your mouth when he gives you an incredulous look.

The song you replayed the most these days was Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift, and he would never get tired of it. Every time the chorus came on, you swept him up in your performance, and he almost laughed at the way he related to the lyrics.

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He wanted more, but he liked you like this. Hands flying into the air as you scream along to the music. Sooner or later, he ends up joining you. Whenever you’re involved, it’s not weird to find Chenle a single step behind you.

Chenle’s family had a large house on the beach. It was split down the middle, and one of his parents’ conditions was that the boys would stay on one side and the girls on the other. They didn’t have a way to prove any different, but everyone respected their rules.

Jaemin and Jeno typically played whatever game console was in the living room while Chenle got to spend a little bit of alone time with you before the rest of the hyper ones got in.

He stands across the kitchen, watching as you unload all of the snacks you brought onto the counter. After a long drive, the sun is setting on the horizon, and the pretty colors reflecting off your skin have him beyond distracted. It wouldn’t be weird for him to hug you. He’s been clingy with you since…well, since he first met you.

“You sure you don’t want any help?” he asks.

“It’s just little things.” You shrug, waving him off. “That drive was…exhausting.”

He laughs, biting down on his bottom lip to stop himself.

“What?” You continue taking boxes out of the bags.

“The drive always knocks you out, but you do the same thing every time anyway.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m gonna sit with Jaem and Jeno. Come out when you’re done?”

You grin at him. “I’ll only be a few more minutes. Go ahead.”

He leaves you in the kitchen, the nightfall creeping into the house and making his eyes heavy. His bed calls to him from upstairs, but he wants to wait for you. And he doesn’t have a choice but to wait for Mark and the rest of the gang, because they’ll have to have a way inside.

When you join him, you’re equally as tired as him. You slump next to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder. With your warmth pressed against him, he smiles and wraps his arm around you. Jaemin and Jeno are battling away, sleep not touching them any time soon after the nap they had in the car.

“You okay?” he whispers, careful not to alert the other two.

Nodding, you curl into him further, sighing into his chest. He hugs you, and somehow, you end up curled into a ball on his lap, head buried in his neck. Your breath tickles his skin, but he doesn’t dare disturb you.

He cradles the back of your head, rubbing his thumb on your scalp. When your breathing steadies, he relaxes. You’re asleep, and if he knows himself at all, he’ll be following you in no time. Any time you’re tired after a long day, you curl into him like this, and he’s come to relish in these moments.

His eyes flutter shut, his own exhaustion peeking through. Absent-mindedly, he presses his lips to the top of your head.

“Ew,” Jaemin groans, giving Chenle a disgusted look. “They make rooms for whatever’s going on there.”

Chenle glares at him once, and he purses his lips and turns his attention back to the game.

“Seriously, if you want to go to bed, we’ll wait for the others,” Jeno offers. “We are capable of opening a door.”

Chenle contemplates it for a moment. He knows he should be the one to greet everyone, but the gentle snores escaping you makes him want to cuddle you properly. It wouldn’t be the first time one of you “snuck in” to the other side of the house and stayed with one another. At the end of the day, he couldn’t get enough of you. Your skin is soft beneath his fingertips, and despite everyone knowing how desperately he wants you except for you, he likes to act like it’s a secret.

“Alright,” he mumbles, shifting under you to see if he’ll be able to find a way to hold onto you. “Make sure to lock it when they arrive.”

Jeno and Jaemin don’t say anything else when he lifts you up and walks you down the hall toward his bedroom. He lays you on his bed first, pulling the blankets back to settle you beneath them.

You’re so peaceful like this—face soft, the slightest smile on your lips. He finds himself dragging his thumb along your cheek just to be able to touch you. You’re perfect to him. 

He climbs in next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you against his chest. You hum quietly, subconsciously turning to him and bury your head in his chest. He grins to himself at the feeling, at the idea of you being so accustomed to him that you’ll want him even in your sleep.

Kissing the top of your head, he lets out a sigh of content before resting back against his pillow.

Day 2 | June 2nd

The morning together was just like any other—you stayed cuddled up until eight came along and the others were whining down the hall about being hungry. Chenle wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone verbally, but the reason he likes these vacations so much is because of the privacy he gets with you.

Yeah, all of your friends are there, but they’re used to the level of clinginess Chenle has with you. His family, on the other hand? If they knew he woke up at 6:30 am and stayed with you wrapped up in his arms for an hour and a half…

“We should go help before they burn down the kitchen,” you murmur, sighing quietly.

“The longer I can stay in bed, the better.” He squeezes you tighter. “Five more minutes.”

You nod in agreement, shuffling closer. His hand rubs up and down your back, gently dragging his nails to help soothe you further. How you’re unaware of his feelings for you is beyond him—he’s always treated you this way. Like you’re the most important person in his life.

Because…news flash, you are.

Eventually, the two of you have to get up. Mark and Heewon are in the kitchen, and you immediately deduct that that’s a mistake. Chenle quickly shoos them from the kitchen, taking over the role of breakfast chef with your help.

While the two of you cook together, he never has to verbally ask you things. You’re in such harmony, it’s like you know every single move he’s going to make before he does.

“So,” Jaemin says, sitting down on one of the stools behind the island. “The girls said they want to go to the bar tonight. You guys down?”

“Tonight?” Your eyebrows pinch, and your lips turn downward. “It’s only day two.”

“Yeah, we’re trying to maximize our fun time,” Jeno interjects, taking a seat next to Jaemin. “We’ve only got thirty days before we return to the real world.”

“Sorry, you’ll have to count me out.” You scrunch up your nose. “But I’ll start doing things tomorrow. I just need to recharge a little more before I go out anywhere.”

Jaemin turns his attention to Chenle, either wanting him to convince you to go, or to see if Chenle will also be staying in.

“Sorry, Jaem.” Chenle shrugs. “I’m not leaving her here by herself.”

You appreciatively poke his side, something the other two boys don’t see, but it makes his heart flutter nonetheless.

“You two are only forgiven because of the breakfast you’re making. We expect hangover breakfasts tomorrow, too.” Jaemin crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.

“We’ll see.” Chenle continues chopping the onion, sending a quick smile your way when you finish washing the green peppers and putting them down in front of him.

He figured he’d be used to you by now—to the feelings he’s harbored for so long. But every time you prove, once again, that you know him just as well as you know yourself, it makes him want you so much more.

Chenle ended up making dinner, too, which was simply microwaving ramen for each person until everyone was content. Mark, Hyuck, Jaem, Jeno, Heewon, and Chaeyoung were all leaving by six, swearing they wouldn’t be home too late.

“Make them order pizza or something,” you suggest to him as you dry the dishes he washes. “They’re grown adults with money.”

“I kinda like this,” he admits.

“Cooking for the same friends you’ve been cooking for since 7th grade?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he snorts.

“Cooking for people in general,” he corrects. “And I like that you’re here to help me. Or just here at all.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t mean it like that. Let me appreciate your company, asshole.” He finishes up the last dish and turns the water off before handing it to you.

You hum in response, quickly drying it before setting it in the cupboard where it goes. Turning toward him, you lean the small of your back on the counter while your hands grip the edge. Your gaze scans over him, and he swears he feels his spine twist in the most delicate of ways. He loves when you look at him, and whenever you study him, he wonders what kind of lessons he teaches you.

“Thanks for staying back with me,” you say.

“Of course.” He waves you off. “I didn’t want to go to the bar anyway.”

“So, what do we do?”

Chenle chuckles. “Not a clue. The possibilities are endless, I guess.”

“Do you still have that karaoke machine?” You narrow your eyes at him as you await his response.

“Is that even a question? Hell yeah, I do. We can get it set up?”

The smile spreading across your face makes his heart skip, and despite how much he wants to reach out for your hand to pull you down the hall, all he does is gesture to the direction you need to go in.

You clap your hands, quickly following his lead.

This room used to be an office of sorts, but has since evolved now that Chenle’s parents don’t come here anymore. The desk has been pushed against the wall next to the TV, and a large couch takes up the majority of the room. A long time ago, he thought it’d be funny to buy a karaoke machine after he’d realized how much he likes to sing, and it just so happened that you felt the same way.

Every time the two of you come here, it’s a must. However, he hasn’t had the opportunity to have it be just you. Someone else was always intruding on his time, at least for the past few years.

Part of the reason he fell for you in the first place was because of how similar you were to him. You shared similar interests and passions that he didn’t usually find in other people. That, or he wasn’t looking once he realized how much he wanted you.

He loves music, and in every piece he hears, he finds you.

You deeply relate to the music you enjoy, and he admires that about you as well. You pick the songs for the evening, and he has no qualms. He’d rather listen to your picks on repeat than try and go off on his own.

The night starts off easy, some of the songs you pick are classics that you make him do every time. After three songs, you picked Cruel Summer. He knows all the lyrics by now—he memorizes everything that comes out of your pretty lips, regardless of if it’s a song or not. He’ll never forget those lyrics for as long as he lives.

Your laugh is so damn contagious. He tries his best to pull that sound from you every chance he gets, but the air around you is…bittersweet. These moments are his favorite—where he gets to have fun with you and forget the rest of the world exists. But they also make him want you more, and everything you could give him. He wants to be yours, and nights like these prove to him that you’re not.

Three songs in, and you’re both panting and laughing your asses off. Karaoke is never just singing—no, you dance until your legs feel like they’ll give out. That’s Chenle’s number one rule, that it’s never enough to sing the songs. You’ve got to perform them.

But Cruel Summer starts, and he can’t help but see the irony of you singing it in his presence. Or him joining you in it.

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night

You know that I caught it

He sings along, but he quiets himself. Listening to you has become one of his favorite pastimes, so he’ll take any opportunity he can. He dances with you, spins you around, and begs any sort of higher power that he can have you like this forever.

And it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa, oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

A gold gleam catches in the dim lighting when he twirls you in a circle, and he grins. He loves when you wear that bracelet—which is all the time, because he’s got one nearly identical, but yours has his name on it and his has yours.

The chorus makes him move around the room, hyping you up at every chance he has. You laugh through the lyrics, out of breath from the previous songs, too.

So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

God, he fucking loves you.

The room fades around him while he’s having fun with you, and he wishes he could spend every moment this way. With the excited glow to you, the carefree laughter, the genuine fun.

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)

As the lyrics pick up, he joins in for real. This part of the song is his favorite, because the next lyrics are exactly what he wants to say to you but can’t work up the courage to do it.

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

"I love you," ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He imagines hearing those words from you, too full of emotion to keep them in any longer. You yell the lyrics between laughter, throwing your head back and dancing as if you’ve been drinking. He watches you so fondly, he’s sure you’ll notice. 

The chorus comes back, and you walk up to him like you’re serenading him, making dramatic hand motions while he laughs at you. His whole body buzzes when you’re like this. When everything else fades away and it’s just the two of you.

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)

Something changes. He doesn’t notice at first, but your expression changes. The song is about to end, and his heart lurches violently in his chest.

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

"I love you," ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks at you as the last lyrics pour from your mouth, the wide smile on your face dissipating when you see how close he is to you. Instead of yelling them like you did last time, the words trail off, barely leaving your mouth as a whisper. His chest heaves from the energy expended, yours mirroring his. He feels like he’s on cloud nine, the adrenaline sitting on top of his lungs as his brain malfunctions on what to do next.

Honestly, he doesn’t know who does it. Someone leans forward, and your lips are locked. Passion lingers, desperation tugging at his very soul at the feeling of your arms around him. His heart pounds in his ears, almost blocking out how Cruel Summer’s instrumental repeats in the background.

He clenches his fists in the fabric of your shirt, praying, hoping this isn’t one of his bullshit dreams. Without any idea how it happened, he relishes in the softness of your mouth, the way you accept his tongue so easily, and the soft moan you let out when he tugs on your bottom lip gently.

He pants harder now, forehead against yours as he tries to figure out what the hell he should do. You should stop. All of this is a mistake—he didn’t want his first time with you to be like this, where his want makes his pants tighter in record time. The only logical thought in his brain is that damn sound you just made and how he can drag it from you again and again.

Thunder booms in his veins as he pulls you back to him, the second he was without your kiss much too long. You press yourself to him, digging your nails into his shoulders. It’s almost like he has no control over his actions at the moment, the long-standing need for you clouding his judgment.

The pretty, pretty sound you make when he spins you around and practically slams the small of your back against the edge of his desk has him forgetting everything else exists. It’s only you. You and how fucking badly he wants you.

He doesn’t dare speak a word.

Inhaling sharply, he sweeps his arm across all the miscellaneous junk on top of it, successfully and messily clearing a spot for you to sit. You take the hint, hoisting yourself up on the edge and spreading your legs to give him room.

Heat pulses through the room, sending waves through his body. He wants to peel all of his clothes off, have you naked beneath him, and take you in all the ways he’s dreamed off. The glimpse of your black panties below that damn skirt has him more than ready for you.

You tug him closer, interrupting the way he stares at your core. His cock already strains, begging to be buried inside you. He’s not sure where the hell this side of him came from, but the dark gleam in your eyes has him forgetting there’s anything wrong with it.

Sweat already arises on his skin, the mere thought of having you this way enough to send him into a fucking cardiac arrest. There’s no time to be timid—he reaches beneath your skirt to find the hem of your panties, mouths still clashing beautifully.

Without interrupting the kiss, you nod, lifting your hips up so he can rip the skimpy fabric from your body.

Your hands fly down to his pants, and his heart starts doing backflips. Neither of you has said a word, and he thinks for a moment that he should…just to make sure he’s what you want. But at the same time, he figures you know as much as he does how this is a long time coming.

“Do you—”

“I need you right fucking now,” you murmur, shaky fingers fumbling with the button of his jeans. “Fuck, help me.”

His mouth waters. He wishes he could take his time with you, but having you squirming and asking for him to be inside you makes him crazy. Without wasting another second, he reaches down and pushes his pants down to the middle of his thighs. He gasps when you grab him over his boxers, gripping him like you’ve done this exact thing with him hundreds of times.

God, he can’t fucking take it anymore. Pushing your back down against the desk, he flips your skirt up to expose your slick entrance to him. One of his hands grips your hip and digs his nails into your skin, and the other pushes his boxers down.

He debates with himself for a second on how he should do this. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you, but he’ll really fucking explode if he’s not inside you within the next ten seconds. He plans on being good, on giving you a second to adjust to him, but when he gently starts pushing inside you, your wetness gushes around him.

Your walls stretch to accommodate him, and your back arches on the wood, and your mouth falls open, and suddenly he can’t control himself. If he gives himself a few seconds to enjoy you while he’s buried so deep, he’ll never be able to let you go. He’ll need to be inside all the time, and that doesn’t sound much like best friends.

Your moans spill recklessly past your lips, the jolt of his thrusts distorting the sound. Fuck, he loves you, but he never imagined sex could feel this good. You flutter around him, urging his cock to move faster, and he does his best to oblige. The desk slams into the wall over and over again, the sound almost as erotic as the sight before him.

You try and fail to find something to hold onto, and when he sees your friendship bracelet—the one with his fucking name on it—he loses it. He puts his hand beneath your neck, pulling you up so you’re face to face. Your face is blissed out, eyes barely staying open as he gives you everything he’s got.

His skin is sticky with sweat, the clothes uncomfortably clinging to his back, he reaches between the two of you, growing frustrated that he left your skirt on. He throbs inside you, desperate to reach his end, so gives the fabric a firm tug, and you gape when it rips at the seam. He half-expects you to scold him for ruining a perfectly good outfit, but instead, your hips buck toward his. 

A tingling sensation forms at the base of his length, and he knows it’s only a matter of seconds before he reaches completion. Without wasting another second, his hand dives between your legs, your arousal making his thumb glide effortlessly across your clit.

Your body shakes, and you lean forward to bury your head in his neck, biting down on his shoulder to contain yourself. He can’t hold back his moans, moving just a bit faster and adjusting his angle to increase your pleasure.

“Fuck, Ch—”

He tangles his fingers in your hair and tugs you back to watch your face.

“Fu—Close,” you whine, lifting your hips to match his thrusts. “I’m cu—”

You cut yourself off with a scream of pleasure, and he swears your walls clamp down on him so tightly, his cock will get stuck. His thrusts falter at the overwhelming feeling of your euphoria, and as soon as it hits you, he’s spurting inside you.

He kisses up the side of your neck, barely breathing properly as he regains his composure. His orgasm wracks his body, pulsing throughout his veins and his bones.

You grasp onto him for dear life, and he returns your embrace. His chest is against yours, both hearts pounding.

And then reality sets in. The music returns to his ears, the beat to Cruel Summer still on a loop, and he wonders how closely you relate to the lyrics.

“Um,” you say breathlessly. “Wow.”

“That…”

“Happened.” You nod, a dazed look on your face as you blink past the shock.

He gulps, wishing that best friend telepathy was real at a time like this. How does he respond to that? Did you enjoy it? Are you already regretting it?

“Chenle,” you murmur.

“Yeah?”

“You’re still…inside me.”

His face burns, and he quickly pulls out of you, trying not to look at the mess he knows is between your legs. He turns away from you to settle himself back in his pants, and he finds your panties on the ground where he threw them.

He gives them to you, and you awkwardly shuffle off the desk before sliding the fabric back up your legs. But he doesn’t want you to…walk away. He wants to take you back to his bed and cuddle you to sleep. To take care of you like he should after such an intimate moment.

Surely, he can’t kiss you, can he?

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Seriously?” You frown at him. “That’s what you want to ask me right now?”

“I don’t really know how to—”

The front door opens, just down the hall as your drunk group of friends arrives back. Your face drops, and you curse under your breath.

“Damn it.” You frantically look around for something to cover your lower half before you go.

Guilt tears at Chenle’s chest—not just because of the ripped skirt, but because it seems like you’re not very happy with your decision. The last thing he ever wanted was to push you into anything. He grabs a blanket from the couch on the other side of the room and hands it to you.

“Chenle! (Y/N)!” Jaemin’s hammered voice booms across the house. 

“(Y/N), can we just—”

“Not now, Chenle.” You shake your head, wrapping yourself up in the blanket and grabbing the split fabric to hide it.

You loop your fingers in his belt loops to tug him close to you, and his jaw drops as he stumbles over. Instead of doing any of the things he wanted you to, you tuck his shirt into his jeans. He’s about to ask you what you’re doing, but then he feels how soaked it is.

Again, his face is on fire. How the hell is he supposed to do this?

He runs his fingers through your hair to fix the tangles, heart racing. As soon as he takes a step away from you, the door opens. Jaemin pours in without any concern.

“Well,” you say, chuckling. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“(Y/N), wait—” Chenle reaches out to you but decides at the last minute to stop, knowing how much is riding on that damn blanket staying put.

“Goodnight, Chenle.” You glance at him, eyes wide and swirling with something he can’t quite put his finger on.

“It smells weird in here,” Jaemin grumbles as he waddles around the room. “Why?”

“Dunno,” Chenle replies with a grimace. “It’s because you’re drunk. Off to bed with all of us.”

Yep…except he’ll be alone, when all he wants is to be curled up with you.

Day 3 | June 3rd

When Chenle wakes up in the morning, he’s pretty sure everything was a dream. He messes with the bracelet latched on his wrist, gulping at the memory of you. How is he supposed to act normally now?

He has to talk to you. Figure out what the hell you’re thinking, because if you regret it, it might break his heart, but he’ll know how you feel about him. You’ve told each other stories of previous relationships, hook-ups, whatever just came out randomly. He never imagined he’d be one of those hook-ups.

And now his bed is all too empty without you, and it’s only day three. 

Images of the night before flash through his mind, and he analyzes everything he sees to try and figure out what he did wrong. If he did something wrong. You almost always sleep next to him, so if this persists, the others will begin to notice, too.

He gets out of bed, hands shoved into the pockets of his pajama pants as he makes his way to the kitchen. Everyone else is awake, the guys and Heewon sitting on the couch. You and Chaeyoung were nowhere to be found, but he tried his best to make it nonchalant. He didn’t want everyone to know he messed up with you. That explanation would be hard.

He glances in the kitchen and still doesn’t see you or your closest friend (besides him, obviously), so he sighs and sits on the far end of the couch. The awkwardness creeps in, like the whole group secretly knows what you two did. Like they’re silently judging him for single-handedly ruining your friendship.

“Who shit in your cheerios?” Hyuck asks, shifting forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Huh?” Chenle frowns. “Nothing happened. I’m just tired.”

“Oh, (Y/N) said you weren’t feeling well last night. She and Chaeyoung went to town to grab some medicine or something.” Mark stretches before getting up to go into the kitchen. “She seemed worried, are you okay?”

Chenle gulps, and he hopes it’s not noticeable. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

Thankfully, they continue their conversation. He can relax for a bit, and then when you come back, he’ll pull you aside. After all, he won’t let this fester. He needs to talk to you—to find out if you view him any differently since he crossed that line with you. The last thing he wants is for anything to change. He likes your friendship the way it is, but he’s also been so desperately in love with you for so long that hope clings to him like a leech.

The door opens, and his head jolts toward it when he hears your laugh. His hands clench into fists, and he’s halfway certain he looks like a lost puppy right now.

The second you see him, he watches your expression change. Your giggle stops halfway through, and you clear your throat as you give him the same wide-eyed look you gave him last night. He wants to jump up and tell you things don’t have to change, maybe even beg you for your forgiveness and say he’ll do anything to keep you in his life—

You and Chaeyoung disappear into the kitchen, and Mark comes back in shortly after. Chenle’s getting antsy, his anxiety sparking at the bottom of his spine as his foot taps on the floor. If he jolts up and runs after you, everyone will know something is wrong.

And if they all know, it’s only a matter of time before Jaemin opens his big mouth, and then you’ll be forever embarrassed by the idea of sleeping with Chenle, and summer vacations will never be the same.

So he gives you five minutes.

“...need to figure things out.” Chaeyoung’s voice is hushed, standing next to you on the far end of the kitchen.

“Yeah, tell me about it. But I—” You stop the moment you catch Chenle in the room.

“I think Jeno needs me for something,” Chaeyoung mentions, sending a small smile his way before darting out of the room. He sighs. If you told Chaeyoung, you’re probably more freaked out than he thought.

You look down at your feet as he approaches you.

“We need to talk about this,” he mutters. “I don’t like feeling like I fucked up.”

Your gaze darts up to his, your eyebrows furrowed as you scan over his face. “This isn’t really the best place to talk, Le. Any of them could walk in right now.’

“I’m not just—I’m not going to forget about it. It happened, okay? And it’s okay if you’re upset by it and you never want to be near me again, but I…I need to know. The silence is killing me.” He realizes it hasn’t been that long, but sleeping alone really got to him.

“Why would you think I’m upset?” you ask.

“You practically ran away from me last night. And you usually sleep with me, and you didn’t. You didn’t even tell me you were going anywhere this morning.”

“I figured you’d know where I was going.” You cross your arms over your chest, glancing away from him.

“How could I possibly have known?” he inquires.

“Chenle…” You let out a small laugh. “You…you came inside me last night. Chaeyoung took me to buy Plan B.”

His jaw drops as he flounders for words. Cheeks burning, he drops his head into his hands and sighs. “I’m a fucking idiot. I didn’t even realize, I was so—I’m so sorry, I don’t even know why I would ever—”

“Relax.” You put your hands on his shoulders. “I was the one who kissed you. You’re psyching yourself out, because I don’t regret it or anything like that. Actually, I’d…kinda like to do it again.”

Alarm bells ring in his head, and his eyeballs feel like they’re about to pop out of his skull when he looks at you fast enough to give himself whiplash.

“You want to…” he trails off, lowering his voice. “...have sex with me again?”

“I mean, only if you want to.” You chew the inside of your cheek, fidgeting with your fingers. Quickly, you continue, “Obviously, nothing has to change. Like, I’m not asking you for…a relationship or anything. There won’t be any rules. Except the fact that you have to…you know, use a condom, but we could just…have a good summer.”

His heart sinks. What you’re proposing is not what he wants. It further proves to him you don’t reciprocate the feelings that led him to his recklessness last night. He shouldn’t agree. No, he should say he’d prefer to keep anything…sexual…out of your friendship, but God damn it, he was tired of leaving his love on the side. Maybe he can’t tell you out loud, but if you’re okay with sleeping with him, he’ll show you.

“Chenle?” you whisper. “I’m sorry if that’s too much. You can forget I said anything.”

You scramble to gather yourself before you try to turn away from him. He reaches out and grabs your wrist, tugging you back to him.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” He pauses, sighing. “Are you sure, (Y/N)? This could get messy.”

“I know I said no rules, but I’m a little bit of a control freak—”

“You act like this is the first time I’ve met you.” Chenle chuckles.

You glare at him before continuing. “Anyway. Nobody can know. I told Chae, but she had to drive me so she doesn’t count. Plus, she won’t tell the others. So, we act normal around our friends, okay? And we don’t…talk about it. Things happen as they will, and we wait until at least the end of June to figure things out.”

“It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” he admits, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

“We don’t have to change. But I did like yesterday, and it’s been so long since someone’s made me—” you cut yourself off, pressing your lips into a line. “You know what I mean.”

“I…Yeah, I do know you’ve been with trash guys—”

You gently smack his chest, glaring at him. “That was not permission for a dig.”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender, his heart melting in his chest when he sees the smile spread on your face. Maybe you don’t have feelings for him, but you don’t hate him—that’ll be enough to get him through this. At least for a while.

“So, we’re good?” You look up at him.

He’s no match for you. Not in any case or situation. His heart belongs to you, and it tears him apart piece by piece to know yours isn’t his.

“Of course, we’re good.” He nods, pulling you in for a hug and sighing in relief. “We can do whatever you want to do.”

“Oh, but that sounds like you don’t want to.” You cringe, but he laughs.

“This is kind of new territory, you know. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have done it the first time.” God, but he wants so much more. He wants all of you, not just momentary flings.

You pull back from him, your gaze gleaming. “And how long have you wanted to do that?”

“I’ll have to get drunk before I tell you the answer to that.” He snorts. “Let’s go back out there before they realize how long we’ve been in here.”

The rest of the day was uneventful to say the least. Chenle was happy to have you back at least in your normal friendship way, so he just enjoyed the way you put your legs over his lap and rested your head on his shoulder.

He didn’t feel awkward around the group like he expected to be, but it wasn’t until later in the night when it really set in. With the two of you in his bedroom, the door closed (and locked).

Watching you closely, he’s dying to reach out and touch you. He’s not sure if it’s normal urges he always felt or if they’re new, from the way he had you just yesterday. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he fidgets with his hands.

“You don’t have to be awkward,” you mention to him as you pull your shirt over your head.

He’s not a stranger to seeing your body. You’ve never been uncomfortable changing with him in the room, and he does the same with you. He almost laughs to himself at the thought of seeing you more naked beforehand than while you had sex. His mind races, and when you reach behind your back for the clasp of your bra, his face heats up and he averts his gaze.

It doesn’t matter what he agreed to—it doesn’t feel right to look at you in a state like this without your permission.

Once you’ve pulled one of his T-shirts over your head, you walk over to him, nestling yourself between his legs. He gulps as he looks up at you. Your finger traces along his jaw, eyes scanning over his face.

“Normal, right?” he whispers, gripping the back of your thighs.

“Totally normal.” You nod.

“But I still can…kiss you? If I feel like it?” His voice almost fails him, his heart lodged in his throat.

“When we’re alone, you can do whatever you want.”

Your words make his heart stop in his chest, and he realizes the implications of this. If he’s fallen completely for you without kissing, sex, and the intimacy of those physical aspects, what will it be like when he gets you whenever he wants?

“I want it, too.” You cup his cheeks and tilt his head up.

“And if it’s just kissing?” he asks. “What if that’s all I want right now?”

“Whatever you want,” you reassure him. “I’m not expecting you to want sex every night, you psycho.”

“C’mere.” He pulls you closer, one of his hands grasping the nape of your neck. The initial brush of your lips against his has his breath shuddering. He’s not prepared for any of this. It hasn’t really sunk in yet, but the way your mouth tastes has every sense in his body heightened.

He curses under his breath when you climb on top of him and straddle his lap. It still feels like he’s taking advantage of you like this—you don’t know his true feelings, so how could he do this to you?

“Chenle.” You sigh and halt your movements. “If this is too weird for you, we don’t have to—”

He shakes his head, hands immediately flying to your ass and pushing you closer to him. His length is beginning to harden, and he moves you to make sure you feel it through his shorts.

“I…want you.” He squeezes, making your hips roll.

“Then what’s going on?” you ask.

“I just need to get used to it,” he replies. “To acknowledge how much I…It just feels kinda like I’m dreaming.”

“Why?”

“You…” His cheeks are so hot, he thinks they’ll burn off. “I never thought you’d want me like this.”

You chuckle, and much to his dismay, climb off his lap and get into bed. “Little do you know, I was thinking the same thing.”

He yearns to reach out to you, to pull you back to him, but instead, he lets out a sigh and takes his spot next to you. The last thing he needs to do is push you. He’d walk on eggshells if he had to, if only it meant he could keep whatever fragile intimacy occurring between you.

He wraps his arm around your waist, taking a deep breath as you turn toward him and bury your head in his chest.

And after you fall asleep, he’s still up through the night, trying to figure out if there’s any chance of this ending in his favor.

Day 5 | June 5th

He wants you.

Everything inside him burns at the thought of your agreement, and he needs to pull you away from your friends and have his way with you. He tells himself over and over again that patience is key, but he can’t stand it.

The last few days were uneventful—well, as uneventful as they could be when it came to his newfound physicality with you. He thinks of kissing you in front of everyone, showing all of them where his head has been since the second night at this damn place.

How is he so needy after three days?

In closed quarters, you kiss him, hug him, grind on him, he’s sure his head is going to explode any moment. The night at the bonfire is coming to a close, but not fast enough.

“(Y/N)!” Mark calls out from the water’s edge. “How much money for you to jump in?”

You let out a loud ha! and shuffle away from Chenle. The air is warm, so he knows you’ll be okay, but he’s also concerned by how much he’s interested in seeing your body soaked with—

Hyuck’s hand smacks Chenle’s chest, causing him to cough and shoot a glare at the other man. “What the hell?”

“Why are you staring like that?” Hyuck asks. “Nervous Mark’s gonna steal your girl?”

“She’s not my girl.” He has to force the words out. After all, he doesn’t really believe them….or want to. “I’m just tired.”

Donghyuck lets out a childish chuckle, putting his beer bottle to his lips and chugging the rest of it. Chenle sips his own drink, returning his grumpy stare to you. You’re laughing uncontrollably as you climb out of the water, soaked from head to toe. Your head falls back as you hit Mark’s arm, barely able to contain yourself from whatever Donghyuck made him miss.

You’re barely lit by the firelight, but Chenle’s never seen someone so beautiful. Fooling your friends won’t be hard—he knows damn well he’s always acted the same way around you that he does now, and he certainly has been this clingy since day one. You give him one of your award-winning grins, and before he can object, you flop yourself down on his lap, cackling evilly as the water soaks through his clothes, too.

“(Y/N), what the hell—” Chenle attempts to push you off, but you push yourself into him further.

“I’m soaked.” You don’t stop giggling, but Chenle hates the way he reacts to those words.

His face flames, and before you understand what happened, he pushes you from his lap so you’re sitting next to him on the chair. You look at him inquisitively, and he ignores you with another quick drink.

Music plays from the speakers. You get up to switch the song since your phone is the one set up. It’s only at that moment he realizes you know exactly what you’re doing. Cruel Summer plays, and every inch of his body catches on fire.

His throat dries, and you look at him over your shoulder.

Despite every muscle in his body craving for him to approach you and pull you back into the house, he gets up to grab another bottle instead. The night is going to drag, and he’s almost guilty for how he’s thinking. He’s supposed to be here and enjoying the summer with his friends, and all he wants is to be alone with you.

Pushing you to the back of his mind, he tries to engage more in conversations with the group. He gets into a somewhat heated discussion with Jaemin about global warming, and when you take your spot next to him, he naturally puts his arm around you as you lean into him.

“Can we go to bed?” you ask him, lips brushing his ear. “I’m tired.”

“We should wait,” he replies, taking in the rest of the group. “Just a bit longer, okay?”

You whine quietly but nod, putting your head on Chenle’s shoulder. He’s itching to drag you to his bedroom, but he wants things to be as normal as possible. The two of you rarely cut the party short, and on top of that, he’d prefer to know where everyone else was before he started touching you.

It’s only another ten minutes before Heewon decides she’s done for the night. Chenle nearly sighs in relief.

Everyone agrees to head in, and you all casually separate with a quick goodnight. As soon as Chenle’s door closes behind him, he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“You okay?” you ask him, turning him to face you. “You’ve been off all day.”

He shakes his head, chewing on his bottom lip as he examines you. “You…you said you wanted this, and I’m kind of confused. If you act the same, how do I know when you…you know.”

Your eyes gleam as you smile at him. The sight alone has his heart doing somersaults, and he suddenly wishes he could take the question back. He’s tired of wondering—he needs to figure out what all of this means.

“You’re so cute, Lele,” you tease him. “How are you supposed to know when I want you? Always. I’ve been waiting for you to initiate because you seemed a little uncomfortable, so I didn’t want to push you.”

“So, all I need to do is tell you when I’m…” He cringes at himself. “This is weird.”

You move closer to him and sling your arms over his shoulders. “Exactly. All you have to say is that you want me, and I’m yours.” Your voice is so soft and sweet, it caresses his ears and flows into his brain, and his senses become overrun by you.

“I do. Right now.” Is all he says before he swallows his nerves and connects his mouth with yours. You gasp against him, startled at the sudden movement, but within seconds, return his gesture.

His hands move to the small of your back and press you as close as possible, his lips working messily against yours. He wastes no more time; walking you backward, he lets you fall back onto the mattress.

Settling himself between your legs, he takes a second to look at you—to study your face and the look in your eyes that’s never really changed. He wonders how long you’ve wanted him for. Your thighs part to welcome him perfectly, sighing when he rolls his hips tentatively.

“This,” he whispers, lips grazing your neck. “This is how it should’ve been the first time.”

His nerves seep away when your body shudders beneath his. Your hair is still slightly damp, clinging to your skin and enticing him further. He grinds his hardening length over your core and kisses you gently.

“You have to be quiet,” he continues. “Jaemin and Jeno are right down the hall.”

You nod, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him back to you. “I know. I’ll be good, Lele.”

He gapes for a moment, not used to words having such an effect on him. Gulping, he reaches up and runs his thumb along your bottom lip.

“That’s right,” he confirms. “Be a good girl for me and you won’t regret it.”

Your gaze gets a shade darker, and the thought of what awaits him beneath your clothes overwhelms him completely. You grab at his shirt, attempting to pull it off his body. He moves back to remove it, and then you’re arching your back to allow him to do the same to you. Sitting on his knees, he moves his hands up your body until they’re squeezing your breasts through your black lace bra.

“Can I—”

“You don’t have to ask, Chenle.” You cup his cheeks, lifting his head so he sees you. “I trust you.”

He’s uncomfortably hard at this point as he takes your shorts off you. Your panties match your bra, and he swears he’s never been closer to finishing in his pants. Nobody has ever made him weak like you do. They’ve never appealed to him in the same way, a way of adoration and love and all the beautiful things life has to offer.

You sit up to unclasp the material supporting your chest, tossing it across the room. Everything inside Chenle melts. You, in this vulnerable state, staring at him impatiently as he pushes you back against the mattress.

He dips down, taking your nipple in his mouth. A quiet sigh of pleasure escapes your lips, and his hips buck against yours. He grinds against you as if he’s already thrusting in and out, and he groans at the thought of your wetness all over him.

His nails drag up and down your thigh, and as he pulls away from your breast to move to the other, a strand of saliva follows. The sight is far more erotic than he imagined, and he grips your thigh harshly.

“Kiss me,” you ask him. “Please.”

And someone like him could never deny someone like you—he lunges upward to capture your mouth, his tongue battling with yours as he moves his hand to the hem of your panties. He pulls away for a second, glancing at you once for confirmation.

You nod, almost frantically, and he decides it’s okay to let go for tonight. You want him as badly as he wants you, so why should he hold back? He curses under his breath the second he feels your arousal on his fingertips.

At first, he teases you, running his finger up your entrance until he’s brushing your clit. He smirks at the way you squirm beneath him, desperate for his touch. He’s the one you want.

“Ask me nicely,” he hums against your neck. “Be good and tell me you need me.”

“God, Chenle,” you whine, rocking your hips. “Please touch me. I need you so bad.”

His own eyes nearly roll into the back of his head when he pushes two fingers inside of you. You grip him so tightly, he wonders how you took him so well just a few nights before. He’d been an asshole and got right to it instead of working you up.

Your breaths turn into whimpers, and your walls quiver around him. He’s already lost in you, in the way you feel on his fingers and the scrunch of your face as you try to hold back the noises you’re desperate to make. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to fall for you more than he already has, but tonight, he learns that falling in love is not linear, and it doesn’t stop.

Tonight, he finds out that it’s a free fall into the deepest ocean, and the only option is to sink further in the water and let the waves take him.

He swallows your quiet moan, positioning his thumb on your clit as he continues his descent into madness. Your walls begin to tighten, so he instinctively kisses you, using his hand to help you ride out the high that’s sending shivers down your body. You squirm beneath him, sinking your teeth into his bottom lip.

“Where are the condoms?” he asks you.

Still dazed, you blink a couple times. “Uh, I…they’re in the nightstand I think.”

He kisses your cheek, irritated at the coldness when he moves away from you. Sighing in relief once he finds the box, he opens it and tears one away from the rest. He tries to swallow his nerves, but when he sees you resting on your elbows, waiting for him, he halts.

This is you.

The one he’s always been able to be himself around, and what if he’s ruining it by thinking with his dick?

“I know that look.” You lift yourself off the bed and approach him, grabbing the wrapper from him. “We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I want to,” he says, wetting his lips. “I want you, but I don’t want to lose you.”

You frown, shaking your head and pulling him closer. “It doesn’t matter how this goes, Le. You’ll never lose me. I promise.”

I love you almost slips, but he holds it back. But God, he’s sure he’s never loved you more.

You reach down to push his shorts and boxers down before guiding him back. He sits on the edge of the bed, gripping your hips and refraining from yanking you onto his lap and sliding his cock in.

When you open the condom wrapper, his heart is about to jump out of his chest. And then you’re putting it on him, pushing your panties to the floor, climbing onto his lap to straddle him, and rubbing his tip against your entrance.

It’s like time stops as you sink down on his length. Moonlight flits in through the windows, illuminating your body and your skin and the subtle eye roll. He can’t breathe. Every time he tries, his lungs fail him, as if you’re drowning him with everything you have.

He wraps his arms around you, your chest pressing to his as he slowly, slowly guides you down on him. You both sigh together, trying not to alert your friends down the hall. 

“You’re amazing,” he mutters, dazed. “Feels so fucking good.”

You drop your head onto his shoulder, your uneven breaths fanning across his skin. He rocks his hips, but your tightness almost makes it hard for him to move. This time, he doesn’t want to rush. He wants to enjoy all you have to offer and take his time with you—make love to you, really.

“Hold on, baby,” he whispers, wrapping you in his arms. “Gonna turn us over.”

He does just that, the clench of your walls on his cock enough to make him delirious. After you shift to get comfortable, he intertwines his fingers with yours and pushes your hand deep into the mattress next to your head.

With his chest brushing yours, he moves, taking his time in pulling out only to push back in. Your head falls back against the mattress, your eyes closing. You squeeze his hand as hard as you can, doing your best to lift your hips to match his thrusts.

The room is full of moonlight, soft pleasure, and the sound of him pushing into your dripping entrance.

He whispers praises in your ear, telling you how good you make him feel and how you take him so well. The slickness of sweat makes your bodies stick together, and the room gets hotter and hotter the longer he’s seated deeply inside you.

The first time he had you, he barely had time to process what happened. This time, he’s basking in the moment, giving you gentle kisses over your face as he keeps a steady pace. He wants to stay here like this forever, but he knows better than to let that thought run rampant in his head.

He releases your hand—which ends up in his hair—as he reaches between the two of you and presses his fingers to your clit. You whine a little louder than you should, so Chenle silences you with his mouth. The position is a bit awkward for him, but the buck of your hips makes sure that’s the last thing on his mind.

Your body shudders beneath him, moans spilling into his mouth for him to swallow and keep for his own. He thrusts a little faster, eager to bring you to your edge and experience your pleasure for himself.

You whisper his name like a mantra, euphoria quickly claiming you as you drag your nails down his back. In the midst of that feeling and your walls clamping around him, he bursts into the condom, cursing under his breath. 

Despite his dry throat, he manages to kiss along your neck while attempting to regain his breath.

“That,” he tells you. “Is how it should’ve been.”

“Feel free to do it like that all the time.” Your tired giggle fills his ears.

He squeezes your thigh gently as he pulls out of you, ready to groan at the loss. You lay there with a smile on your face as he disposes of the condom in the adjoining bathroom. When he returns to you, he’s surprised to find you under the blankets on your side.

When he raises an eyebrow at you, you shrug. “You can get dressed if you want. I’m too tired.”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he climbs into bed next to you and pulls you close to him. Your skin is damp with sweat, but he’s sure his is worse. He kisses the top of your head, and just like so many nights before, he hums songs for you until you fall asleep.

Day 6 | June 6th

In the night, you curled further into him. His eyes are closed, but he’s been up for a while. Fingers trailing up and down your spine, he thinks he’s reached his peak. The summer sun amplified through the window warms his skin, but more importantly, it illuminates you and the softness of your features as you sleep.

The brightness blinds him, but he doesn’t mind. Not when his focal point is you.

He made love to you last night. All of his feelings were delivered to you on a silver platter and, just for a brief moment, he thinks he saw it back from you. Like there’s a part of you—however small—that wanted him the same way.

The sound of a door opening and closing down the hall wakes you, and you wrap your arm around him tighter.

“This is nice,” you murmur, kissing the base of his neck.

“I think so, too.”

“Do we have to get up?” You shake your head as if answering your own question.

He chuckles. “It might look weird if we don’t.”

“I need to shower.” You shift onto your back and run your hands down your face.

He uses the opportunity to move over you and kiss down your neck, finding your pulse quicker than it should be after just waking up. Nipping your skin to stop his smirk, he inhales your scent.

“You could always come with,” you offer, running your fingers through his hair.

“Now, that’ll be obvious.” He chuckles and pulls away from you, removing himself from the blanket as he stretches. When he looks back at you, you’ve already grabbed his T-shirt from the ground and are in the process of putting it on. He gets a brief glimpse of you. Slamming his eyes shut, he assumes nothing good will come of seeing your naked image in his mind over and over again.

The bed dips behind him as you climb over, draping your arms over his neck and kissing his cheek. “You should do it anyway.”

He snorts and pushes you away jokingly. With your signature grin plastered on your face, you make your way into the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Once he hears the water starting, he drags himself over to his bag to get dressed. He decides on a pair of sweatpants and a black T-shirt, and on his way out of the room, Jeno is also heading for the kitchen.

Chenle avoids his eyes as much as possible, wondering if any of his escapade with you last night was audible for him or Jaemin. Chasing the thought out of his head, he goes straight for the water bottles in the fridge.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Mark asks, eating the watermelon Chaeyoung cut up a couple days back.

“She’s in the shower,” Chenle replies nonchalantly, unscrewing the cap and taking a drink.

“You didn’t want to join her?” Heewon laughs from the side as she butters her toast.

He narrows his eyes in her direction. “And why would I do that?”

“Well, you guys do everything else together,” she replies.

That earns her a cackle from Hyuck, but Chenle shakes his head.

“We don’t do everything else together.”

“Right, you guys are just dating without the benefits of getting off.” Mark pretends to be lost in thought.

Chenle’s heart twists violently in his chest, nearly lurching him forward. He wants everything from you—anything you want to give him, he’d take without hesitation. Heewon scolds Mark quietly and smacks his arm, because apparently that was what was too far.

He half expects Jeno to pipe up and expose exactly how opposite your relationship with Chenle is now, but he stays silent. Hopefully, that means Jaemin and Jeno heard nothing from last night. Your sounds were for Chenle and Chenle only, and a part of him felt glory in that.

The teasing from the friend group never bothered him before, but with this new side of your relationship, he let the words sink in deep.

How exactly was he going to make it out of this unscathed?

Day 8 | June 8th

Both of you knew it was risky, but something about you had him bent way out of shape. The group was doing their yearly ice cream run in less than an hour, and all he cared about at the moment was being inside you.

He put you on the bathroom counter, your body next to falling off it if he wasn’t holding onto you so tightly. Without much warning, he enters you completely with one thrust. His hand covers your mouth, capturing the moan spilling past your lips. Your eyes roll back, and he swears that sight alone is almost enough to get him off.

You murmur his name against his palm, head lolling back.

“Sorry, Sunshine.” He nips your earlobe as he rocks his hips gently to help you adjust to his size. “We’ve gotta be fast.”

“‘M good,” you say, gripping tightly onto his shoulders.

He takes the hint, beginning his movements a bit quicker than he normally would. Even though he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in days, the world sways around him as if he’s drunk. You’re what’s intoxicating him, and in the moments where you’re connected, he feels like he’s on cloud nine.

One hand rests on the small of your back, and the other stays on your mouth, desperate to finish but needing you to stay quiet. Whenever he thinks of being with you in this way, he tries to fuck you in the ways you deserve—make you feel so good you’re dreaming about it long after you’re done—but both of you are far too desperate right now to consider anything like that.

Your nails leave angry red crescents in his skin, but it only spurs him faster. His hips rutt against yours, his body craving the complete euphoria he’s only ever been able to accomplish with you.

His gaze meets yours, and he finds your eyebrows furrowed. Since he’s got such a firm grip on you, you move one of your hands and slide it down your body, watching him closely as if he’s going to stop you.

As soon as your fingers find your clit, you groan and your walls flutter around his cock. He curses, and his next sharp thrust has you whining.

“I’m so…” you trail off, body nearly falling limp in his grasp.

But just before you reach your high, the bedroom door opens, and there’s approximately two seconds before whoever walks in sees inside the bathroom. The next curse that falls from his lips is for two reasons—one, because all he needed was another minute, and he would’ve reached his high. Two, because he now has to figure out a way to make this look like anything except what it is.

He pulls out of you, readjusting your panties and guiding you off the counter before he tucks his painfully hard cock back into his sweats, condom and all.

“(Y/N)’s sick,” he calls out. “Give us a few minutes and we’ll come out okay? She’ll kill me if I let you see her like this.” He moves over to the door and closes it, locking it before whoever it is can see the mess you’ve turned him into.

“Oh, be fucking for real,” Chaeyoung’s voice says. “(Y/N), are you really sick? Or are you two—”

You breathe a sigh of relief when you hear her. Instead of letting Chenle answer, you pull your shirt down to cover yourself before cracking the door open.

“I’m okay. We’ll be out in like, two seconds.”

“You horny bitch.” Chaeyoung purses her lips. “Can’t stay off his dick for five minutes.”

Chenle feels his insides churning at that comment. For a moment, he’s sure she’s being serious, but then both of you burst into laughter, and Chenle’s blood cools.

“We would’ve been out already if you hadn’t interrupted us.” You pinch your fingers together. “I was this close.”

“Are you at least using condoms?” she asks in a hushed voice, turning the tips of Chenle’s ears bright pink.

“Yes, mom, now if you could go, I need to put some actual clothes on.” You shoo her away.

“The guys want ice cream. No dick until later,” she tells you, laughing as she walks out of the room.

You let out a sigh and close the door again, biting down on your bottom lip as you look at Chenle.

“Sorry, we don’t really have TMIs, so she…” You clear your throat.

“No, that’s…that’s good that you have someone to talk to about all of this that’s not me,” he says, walking up to you to put his hands on your hips and tug you close. “You think she’ll be mad if I just…”

He turns you so your back is to his chest, lips latching onto your neck as his touch trails down to the hem of your panties.

“I’d hate to leave you hanging when you were this close.” He tongues along your pulse, skimming below the hem of your panties.

“You’d better make it quick, Lele.” You lean your head back on his shoulder. “She’ll kill us.”

He grins smugly at the invitation, allowing his fingertips to graze lower until he finds your clit. You’re still soaked from being robbed of your high, so your body jerks at the sensation. He grinds against your ass, proving to you how badly he wants to be inside you.

“T-this is going to be embarrassingly fast.” You pant, rocking your hips back and forth. “I need more.” Your hands grip the edge of the countertop, pained whines escaping you.

He moves faster on your clit, and before he’s able to comprehend what’s happening, you squirm and bite down on your hand to stop your noises.

“Look at yourself, baby,” he whispers, his other hand sliding up to your throat to guide your face toward the mirror. “Look at how fucking good you look when I’m touching you.”

You inhale sharply, moving your own hand up to his to press his fingers in around your neck. He rubs you faster, taking his own initiative in squeezing you to control your breathing. Looking up at your reflection, he almost starts drooling at the sight of what he’s doing to you.

Your whines turn into breathless wheezes, and seconds later, you part your lips to let out a silent scream of pleasure as your insides clench around nothing.

He slows his circles to help you come down from your high, showering your shoulder and neck with kisses.

“Alright,” he whispers, retracting his touch from you. “We’d better get going.”

“But you didn’t—”

“You’ll make it up to me later.” He kisses you one last time. “You look so fucking sexy when I’m touching you.”

“Keep talking like that and we’ll never make it out of this bathroom,” you warn him.

You’re doing it on purpose.

Every year, the group goes to the same place for ice cream. Chenle’s been coming here ever since he was a young boy, but it’s been at least 5 years since he started bringing the rest of your friends, too. They have new experimental flavors, and it’s his mission to try all of them.

So, of course, he chooses one, and you choose a different one. The two of you are meant to be acting normally, but the way your lips close around his spoon has his mind spiraling. Not to mention how you make eye contact with him, and that damn gleam in your gaze is enough to make his cock jump in his pants.

How did he ever live without being inside you before?

“Hey, guys.” Chaeyoung tosses her arms over the two of you, grinning widely before lowering her voice. “If you don’t want people to know, you’re doing an awful job. You’re looking at each other like you ingested the worst Harry Potter love potion imaginable.”

The word love throws him off track, and he quickly takes his spoon away from you and side steps to run his fingers through his hair. He has no idea what’s gotten into him. Usually, he’s pretty good about this kind of stuff. And to be honest, before he started messing around with you, he wasn’t nearly as horny as he is now.

No, because now, he feels like he needs to be touching you constantly, and if he’s not, he’s wasting valuable time.

He tries his best to shove those thoughts to the back of his mind. At some point, you’ll have to go back to being just his best friend. It pains him that this can’t be forever, but at the end of the day, he has you. Whether or not it’s completely is a different story.

Everyone takes their usual table outside, and you sit between him and Chaeyoung. The guys converse, the girls laugh over something, but Chenle isn’t joining either conversation. Worry sinks deep in his gut instead. He wonders if it’s okay for him to be as nonchalant about the two of you having sex as he is.

You’re his best friend. Regardless of his feelings toward you, he should’ve done the mature, right thing and declined this offer.

But he’s in too deep now, and all it takes is one wide smile from you to tilt the earth on its axis.

For the next couple hours at this ice cream parlor, things are back to normal. He suppresses his urges the way he always has. His mind lingers on you, especially when your voice and your laugh echoes in his ears, and this time…

This time, he knows what he has to do.

Day 15 | June 15th

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous.” You close his bedroom door behind you and cross your arms over your chest. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

“What are you talking about?” he asks, frowning.

“Don’t play stupid.” Your foot taps anxiously on the ground. “One week, we’re all over each other, and now you’ve barely even touched me since Chaeyoung almost walked in on us. Is that what’s going on? You’re weirded out that she knows things about us?”

“Us.” He scoffs, tugging his fingers through his hair. “What us, (Y/N)?”

You visibly recoil, hurt playing out on your face as Chenle instantly regrets his words. Even then, he’s not going to back down from this.

“You’re starting to piss me off.”

“I…I don’t want sex.” He shrugs.

You wet your lips and narrow your eyes, trying to comprehend what he means by that. “That’s just—like, that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel like you have to have sex with me, Le, but if our friendship is going to survive this, I need you to be honest and open with me.”

“The sex isn’t the problem.”

“Oh.” Your voice waivers, and he immediately wishes he never opened his mouth. A short laugh of disbelief escapes you.

“It’s not you, either,” he quickly adds, grabbing onto your hand. “It’s really not. I…I still need my best friend, though. And it feels like I’m losing that side of you because things are changing. You said nothing would change.”

“I haven’t changed,” you tell him. “Everything I do is exactly what I’ve done last year or the year before that. I’ve been teasing you a little, yeah, but I thought you liked it. Am I an idiot?”

Chenle’s chest deflates. “No. No, you’re not an idiot. I’m an asshole.” He pulls you to his chest and cradles the back of your head. “I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like a little kid. All I want is my best friend, and I’m scared that after all of this is over, I’m gonna lose you. I don’t know how to live without you. You know that.”

“You’d only have to worry about ruining our friendship if the dick was bad.” Despite the thickness of your voice, your humor breaks through.

He snorts and pushes you away, rolling his eyes. “Dude, for real?”

“I’m just being honest.” You tug on his arm, and for a moment, he sees a glimpse of your previous friendship.

Maybe everything can work out.

“As your best friend, I think we should watch that movie with Mark and Chae.” You grab his hand and play with his fingers.

“Okay.” He nods. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

That’s how he ends up curled up with you on the couch, your back pressed to his chest and snuggled up with a blanket. He feels at peace for the first time in a long time, the steadiness of your breathing almost enough to lull him to sleep. The screen plays some sort of superhero movie, but he’s not too interested in it. He’s more interested in the way a small sound tumbles from your lips as you turn toward him.

He holds you close, smiling to himself at the warmth you create. When he glances back up, he meets Chae’s gaze. The woman scans over the two of you, her expression warm. Chenle thinks he imagined it for a moment since he’s so tired, but Chae gives him a thumbs up and turns back to the screen.

Day 16 | June 16th

“Chenle, can I talk to you for a minute?” Chaeyoung asks, leaning on the archway leading into the kitchen.

You went with Heewon and Jaemin to the store, so he had nothing to do otherwise. He nods and follows her into the other room. Grabbing the orange juice from the fridge, he tiredly gives her all of his attention.

“What’s up?”

“I saw the way you looked at her yesterday,” she begins, tapping her fingernails against the carpet. “So either you know how you feel or you’re in denial, but you need to tell her. One or both of you are going to get hurt by the end of this if you’re not honest with each other.”

“I appreciate the advice, Chae, but I’m not sure you have all of the facts.” Chenle crosses his arms over his chest.

“And what am I missing?” she asks.

“Honestly, you may know some things, but you’ll never know all of it,” he replies. “It’ll never be an easy situation to digest, but we’re best friends. We’re mature enough to handle this.”

“You realize if this all falls apart, it’s going to fuck up the rest of the group, too?” She frowns. “You guys aren’t really thinking this through.”

Right when Chenle goes to answer her, the front door opens, and he hears your conversation with Heewon spill through the house.

“Thanks for your concerns.” Chenle nods once before turning around to find you.

Day 17 | June 17th

Chenle throws his head back, hand tangled in your hair as you take his cock in your mouth. He sits on the edge of the bed and you kneel before him, drooling over his length. Your moans vibrate around him. This is the first time you’ve sucked him off, but he’s already found out this is as addicting as everything else.

“That’s it.” He allows his eyes to flutter shut and his eyebrows furrow the closer he gets. “You always take my cock so well, Sunshine.”

You whine, and his hips buck, slamming his tip into the back of your throat. You constrict around him, and his grip on your head tightens. God, he can’t fucking think straight around you. Your nails dig into his thighs, and despite choking around him, you continue bobbing your head up and down.

The base of his length starts to tingle, and he tugs your hair gently. “Gonna cum, baby, you don’t have to—fuck.”

Your response is to simply hollow your cheeks, the lewd sounds around the two of you almost loud enough to make him worry about others hearing it. The suction from your mouth has him approaching his high rapidly, and once you reach up to touch his balls, he cums in white spurts deep in your throat.

Day 18 | June 18th

“Chenle,” you whisper, leaning closer to him.

The summer wind brushes past the two of you sitting on the little porch connected to his bedroom. It’s the middle of the night, and the only thing covering you is a soft blanket. He has his own, but he regrets that. He wants to be wrapped up with you. The waves crash to the shoreline, the salty, ocean scent infiltrating everything around him.

“Yeah?”

“This is my favorite summer,” you tell him.

“Me too.” He squeezes your arm. “I’d stay just like this forever if I could.”

You make him open his arms before shifting yourself onto his lap and covering him with your blanket as you grind your bare body down onto his.

“What’s the likelihood they hear us out here?” you ask, leaning in to kiss along his neck.

“They’ve got a better chance of hearing us inside than this…” he trails off, wondering if he should really allow something like this to happen.

But soon enough, you kiss him for real. And when your lips are working on his, he’s inherently weak for you. It doesn’t take long for his cock to harden, and once it does, you line him up with your entrance.

“We don’t have a condom,” he chokes out, gripping your ass.

“Pull out when you’re about to cum, then,” you tell him. “If that’s okay?”

His hand finds the nape of your neck, pulling your mouth to his to seal his fate with a kiss. He guides you down on his cock, groaning at the feeling of taking you raw. You don’t even give yourself time to adjust, instead working your way through your sensitivity by bouncing on him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he reminds you. “Look at how well you take my cock.”

He’s learned so much about you during this short time, but he loves knowing what makes you crumble within minutes. His fingers wrap around your throat, and as he puts the perfect amount of pressure, your eyes roll and your hips work faster.

He tightens his grip, and your whine is interrupted. You show him no mercy, lifting and falling with such precision he wants to fill you up with his load.

The blanket is secure on your grip draping off of Chenle’s shoulders, so you nearly fall against him when his fingers connect with your clit. He’s teetering close to the edge, but he knows he has to pull out. No way is he cumming before you.

Your arousal makes him glide against your bud effortlessly, and he squeezes your throat harder at the same time.

“Chenle.” You gasp, pace changing as you get closer to your high. “Please cum inside. Need to feel your cum dripping out of m—fuck.” Your voice breaks as he thrusts up hard, hitting your spot. A broken moan escapes, nearly cut off by his grip on you, and your walls clamp down on his cock.

He watches you as he spurts his load and paints your insides, but all he sees is a blissed out smile and your heaving chest.

You slump against him and hum quietly. He grabs his blanket and wraps it around both of you, not wanting to leave you just yet. The summer breeze sweeps across the back of his neck, chilling the sweaty dampness.

He wants to tell you so badly.

He loves you. He wants to love you forever, but maybe he’ll only get these fleeting moments.

What a cruel, cruel summer this has become.

Day 19 | June 19th

The days pass so quickly. It’s been eighteen days since he first made you his, and all he wants is to make it last forever. The whole group goes to a movie theater, hopping between different rooms and films to catch a glimpse of everything that’s recently hit the big screens.

But he can’t take his eyes off of you.

The way you smile so widely in his direction. How all of your friends are so used to him being all over you.

Your laugh echoes around in his brain, and when the poor employee realizes what you’re doing, they try to stop you to figure out who you are. Chenle’s giggles join yours as he grasps your hand and pulls you toward the exit.

The two of you run, and with your fingers laced in his, you’re somehow separated from your friend group.

Once you’re outside, he presses your back to the brick of the building, kissing you in the midst of laughing. His hand latches onto the fabric of your shirt at the small of your back, and he works his lips on yours like magic.

How is he ever supposed to go back to normal after having you like this?

“Come on,” you tell him, grabbing his wrist and leading him away. “We’ve gotta find them.”

But he knows that no matter where you go, he’ll follow.

Day 20 | June 20th

He lost track of how many times his body has tangled with yours. How many times you’ve quietly, desperately called out his name while he takes you to new worlds you’ve never seen before.

He yearns to be grounded, to plant his feet back on Earth, but how does he do that when the universe that is you infiltrates his very being? All the stars and planets and milky ways and meteors float around in your dazed irises, and he caresses your face.

He loves you. He wants to tell you. He needs you to love him back.

Day 21 | June 21st

“Okay, this one is easy.” Donghyuck holds his hand up to reign in everyone’s excitement. “Never have I ever…kissed someone in the friend group.”

You glance at Chenle once, and he shrugs, so both of you lift your bottles. The point of this game? Get as drunk as possible. Every time someone says something you’ve done, you have to drink. Which means everyone is thoroughly surprised when every single person around the table sips from their cups.

“We’re the worst friend group,” Mark says, nearly hissing at the taste of the liquid burning down his throat. “We said ‘friends’ and turned it into an orgy.”

Heewon glares at him. “Dude.”

“Sorry.” He holds his hands up in mock surrender.

But soon enough, six pairs of eyes are on you and Chenle, and he immediately feels his face burning.

“You two want to explain?” Hyuck asks.

“Is everyone else explaining?” Chenle quirks an eyebrow, watching as Donghyuck purses his lips.

“No explanations unless you ask more questions,” you pipe up.

Chenle hopes that’ll divert the conversation from the two of you. His hand brushes over your knee under the table, and you send him a small smile.

“Fine,” Mark says. “Never have I ever kissed my best friend.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees you grab your bottle, so he doesn’t hesitate to do the same. He takes a fairly large drink, forcing the alcohol down his throat to make this night less painful.

Chaeyoung watches the two of you closely, and the rest of the group seems hyped up on adrenaline, like they’ve caught you and him in a lie of sorts. This news can’t be that shocking to them. Or maybe they’re all pining at the idea of being right.

But they’re not—you’re not in love with Chenle. Meaning, they’d be completely wrong.

Jaemin, who’s already had a bit too much from the hour of this game you’ve already been playing, laughs as he points at Chenle.

“I’ve got one.” He nods slowly, the smirk spreading across his face as he leans on Jeno’s shoulder. “Never have I ever had sex with my best friend.”

Your gasp is only audible to Chenle and Chaeyoung, who sits on the opposite side of you. Both you and Chenle are already holding your glasses, and you look at him, silently asking him if that’s something you should admit to the group.

You’re incredibly stiff, but Chenle watches as you slowly lift your hand. Before you get far, Chaeyoung smacks the back of Jaemin’s head.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” she hisses. “You can’t ask them things like that!”

Your cup lands back on the table louder than you planned. Chenle analyzes you, the stiffness of your back and the way you glance down at your lap instead of the rest of the group. His instinct makes him want to pull you away from them to somewhere you’ll be more comfortable.

“Oh, come on! They were about to admit to it.” Jaemin lets out a dramatic sigh. “Did you see the hesitation? They were seconds away from finally telling us if they’ve done it.”

Your hand lands on Chenle’s thigh, and he immediately knows what that means. A switch inside of him turns, and anger bubbles in his stomach. You’re his best friend, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants to know—the last thing he’ll let happen is any of them attempting to badger you into admitting something you don’t want the rest of the group to know.

“We’re all friends, why does it matter if we know or not?” Jeno agrees. “We’ve all been waiting for them to—”

“Knock it off,” Chenle deadpans, his voice dropping octaves. He leans forward, his arm crossing over you and his other hand gripping his bottle tighter. At the change in tone, everyone looks at him in shock, excitement fading into a nervous energy.

“Lighten up,” Donghyuck says. “They’re just joking—”

“Well, I’m not,” he replies, furrowing his eyebrows. “The hell’s wrong with you guys? You can’t tell when you’re making someone uncomfortable? Neither of us owe you anything, if you didn’t know that. You don’t need to know everything.”

“Okay,” Jaemin mumbles. “Didn’t know it was that big of a deal.”

“That’s because you don’t think, Jaemin. If anything happens between us that we want to share, we’ll share. But until then, mind your fucking business—”

“Lele,” you mutter to him, reaching forward to grasp his wrist in front of you. “Lele, it’s okay. They get it.”

He instantly relaxes at your words, running his tongue over his teeth as he rests back in his seat. You grasp his hand beneath the table and intertwine your fingers with his, rubbing your thumb against his skin.

“Sorry, (Y/N),” Jaemin says, fidgeting with his hands.

You give him an awkward smile and a nod. Chenle senses the atmosphere won’t return to the chaotic laughter it’d recently been filled with, so he wonders what’ll happen if he lets everyone know he’s taking you to bed.

When everyone resumes as much conversation as they can, Chenle leans in close to you to whisper in your ear. “Do you want to go to bed?”

It’s well past midnight, and the alcohol is starting to settle in his system. He is tired. You run your fingers through your hair and nod. He doesn’t say anything to the rest of the group, but you mutter something to Chaeyoung, who gives you a sympathetic smile and a nod.

Although he refrains from physically leading you away, he feels everyone’s eyes on the two of you. It shouldn’t upset him as much as it does. Plus, he wouldn’t mind all that much if they knew, but seeing the way it bothered you suddenly had him on ten. There was no other solution other than to put them all in their place.

Once you’re in the confines of his room, he pulls you into a hug. You melt in his embrace, your body basically limp. He rubs up and down your back, wishing he could take that feeling away from you for good. You deserve the best, and he wants to give it to you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know why they’d fucking do that.”

You shake your head. “They’d know eventually, right? We wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret forever.”

“They should never push something like that. They’re supposed to be our friends, (Y/N). You were uncomfortable.”

“Le,” you say, pulling back to look at him. “As much as I appreciated you standing up for me, all I want right now is my best friend, okay? Just…be that guy, please.”

Both of you change into your pajamas, and then climb into bed. If you wanted him to be your best friend, he could do that. Hell, he’s spent his whole life basically doing it, so as he pulls you to his chest, it’s like muscle memory.

Everywhere Chenle is, you’re right there next to him. Never behind, never ahead, always beside.

“Chenle,” you whisper.

“Yeah, Sunshine?” He strokes your hair, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

“I…Can you be my best friend and still kiss me?” you ask. “I don’t want anything else. Just kissing.”

He lifts your chin so you’re looking at him and gives you the faintest smile. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

Your eyes swim with all sorts of emotions, and while he’d love to sit there and analyze each one of them, you allow them to flutter shut in anticipation of his kiss.

He can’t recall a time where he’s kissed you so gently, as if you might shatter beneath his touch. Placing his hand on the small of your back, he presses you flush against him while his mouth works so effortlessly on yours.

There’s no heat behind it. The only sounds are of the rustling of his sheets, the soft sighs, and his quiet compliments between breathing breaks. He allows himself to get lost in this, in the way it feels so different from every other kiss he’s shared with you.

Those kisses all lead to sex. They were a bridge to being physical, but now all he wants is to lie in this bed with you forever, connected in such a basic and innocent way.

“You make all of it better,” you murmur, inhaling deeply. “Everything I am is for you, Zhong Chenle.”

“And you’ve built me from the ground up,” he replies. “I was created for you. I don’t know who I am without you.”

“You’ll never have to find out.”

His heart runs rampant, doing all sorts of backflips in his chest. He starts to sweat even though he’s not physically exerting himself, and he desperately feels like he needs to grasp at something. If he doesn’t, he’ll fall…but can he even more than he already has?

Is falling in love something that happens gradually, continually, or is it all at once? Once you’ve fallen in love, can you still progress further into it, or is that feeling at its peak?

He thinks back to the first time he realized he wanted more from you. It’s been over a year since he admitted it to himself, and the person he was during that time never would believe that this is his life now.

“You promise?” Chenle’s nearly breathless, your words robbing him of the oxygen he needs to survive.

You smile ever so softly, nodding slowly. “I’m yours. Always.”

The promise sinks through his skin and into his bloodstream, flowing all the way through his body and infiltrating his brain. It means so much more to him than it means to you, he knows that, but he kisses you again anyway.

He kisses you over and over and over again. By the time the sun comes up in the morning, neither of you have slept, but your lips are swollen and your eyes are drooping.

No matter what, he’ll hold you to your word.

Day 22 | June 22nd

Two coffee cups steam from the table on Chenle’s patio. He sits, slumped, on the padded bench with you next to him, legs thrown over his lap. His thumb rubs your thigh. Exhaustion has yet to kick in, especially as he looks at you. Your hair is mussed, his T-shirt hanging off your shoulder and your shorts hiking up your thighs. Everything about this is domestic, and it makes his heart flutter.

He stayed up all night with you. The sunrise over the water leaves a calming wave cascading over him, and he gets an odd feeling that it’s all going to be okay.

He’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.

You bring the coffee cup up to your lips, sighing at the taste. He made it for you. But not only that, he made it the way you’ve always loved it. You told him once, and he never forgot. Every detail he learns about you is immediately stored in his memory.

“Maybe we should tell them,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. “That way, they’ll leave us alone. And whatever we’re doing would get a little easier.”

“Would it?” he asks.

“What do you mean?”

“None of this is easy.” Chenle gulps, wishing he had the filter necessary to make him bite his tongue right now. “What we’re doing isn’t easy. We don’t even know what it is, so why would we try to explain it to other people?”

“Oh.” You drink more, tired gaze turning to the ocean in the distance.

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m just being honest.”

“Yeah, no, honesty is good,” you agree. “You’re right.”

“(Y/N), I—”

“No.” You hold up your hand. “We said the end of the summer, so I get it. I’d rather wait anyway.”

He wants to grab you by the shoulders and shake you, telling you all the things he loves about you and how badly he wants you to be his forever.

“I’m gonna need six more cups of coffee.” You swing your legs off of him, and leave him sitting by himself, caught up in the warm, summer breeze the same way he’s caught up in you.

Day 25 | June 25th

Going out to the bar was the worst idea ever. The more you drank, the more you wanted to be all over Chenle. He didn’t mind it, but the more he drank, the more he wanted to touch you in ways that would have every saint covering their eyes.

You turn to face him, flashing lights reflecting off your skin as you dance with him. His brain is so clouded, so foggy, but he remembers you kissing him. He groaned into your mouth, pulling you closer and doing his best to maintain a rhythm with you. For a moment, he forgets that all of your friends are here too, but he has high hopes they’ll be too drunk to recall.

You pull away, jaw dropped as you remove his grasp on your and quickly stumble toward the exit. He curses under his breath, knowing he can’t let you go alone in a state like this. The world is tilting around him as he follows you, but he refuses to let you out of his sight. The protective urges come forward.

“(Y/N)!” he calls out to you as the two of you make it outside. “Hey! Stop it.”

“Leave me alone, Chenle.” The thickness of your voice has every last bit of alcohol drying up from his system. He jogs to catch up to you, grabbing your wrist and whirling you around to look at him.

Your eyes are bloodshot, tears falling down your cheeks.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?” he whispers, tugging you to his chest. “God, are you okay?”

“‘M fine,” you reply, but your body shudders in his grasp.

“Come on.” He scoffs. “I didn’t stop being your best friend just because we’re sleeping together.”

You put your palm on your forehead, cursing under your breath. “I just kissed you in there. In front of everyone.”

“Yeah.” Chenle shrugs. “What’s wrong with that?”

“It was supposed to be simple,” you murmur, tugging on your hair with your fingers. “We were supposed to have fun this summer, and everything’s fucking falling apart—”

He recoils. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re gonna leave me.” Your voice breaks, and his heart right along with it.

“Why would you say something like that?”

“It’s all just—” you cut yourself off, clutching Chenle’s shirt. “Too much. I want you so fucking bad all the time.”

“Me too, baby, you know that.” He cups your cheeks, wiping your tears away. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what happens, I’ll always be right next to you. Promise, Sunshine.”

His own eyes well at the sight, but he wonders what really brought all of this on. He presses his lips to your forehead, allowing them to linger there a moment too long. Pulling you close, his gaze turns toward the building, where Jaemin and Heewon stand. He gives them the best, watery glare he can, and they quickly shuffle back inside.

It’ll never be him who leaves you. If anyone were going to run away, it will absolutely be you.

And that crushes his heart even further. Beats it to a tiny pulp and straight up purees it until it’s mush.

He takes you home, puts you in bed, and spends half the night out on his patio, leaning on the wooden railing and watching the waves crash into the midnight shore.

The view from here gives him a glimpse of the driveway, and the rest of the group pulls in not even an hour later. He makes eye contact with Jaemin, and while the others head inside, Jaemin approaches him with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” Jaemin says softly. “You got a few minutes?”

Chenle looks inside at your sleeping form and gently closes the door with a sigh. “I’ve got nothing but time.”

“Look, man, we all get it.” Jaemin’s feet thud quietly on the creaky stairs as he makes his way up, stopping and leaning his back against the railing as he analyzes Chenle. “We love you guys. A lot. And something weird has been going on, and it’s not like we don’t notice.”

“A lot of weird has been going on,” Chenle says, chuckling to himself. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. It’s just us now.”

The other man purses his lips, taking a deep breath of salty air. “You love her, don’t you?”

“I wish it were as simple as that.” He clasps his hands together, wondering how much he should say.

“It can be,” Jaemin replies. “You think she doesn’t love you?”

“I know she doesn’t,” he insists. “You don’t know her like I do.”

His friend nods, as if he’s conceding with what Chenle’s saying. But he knows better—Jaemin is good at these things. Regardless of whatever happened a few nights back, Jaemin is insightful when it comes to relationships despite not having much experience in that department.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, okay? But I know something is. And I notice (Y/N) talking to Chae a lot, but you never talk to anyone about serious things except for her. It’s okay to be confused and to want to talk about things.”

“She didn’t want anyone to know.” Chenle lets out a defeated sigh, allowing his head to hang between his shoulders.

“To know what?”

“We…” Chenle considers biting his tongue. At the end of the day, he knows he can trust Jaemin, and that he’d never do anything to betray Chenle’s trust, but the words leaving his mouth feel like a betrayal to you. “We’ve been hooking up, I guess.”

“Oh, like…more than once.” Jaemin blinks his shock away.

“Yeah. Like, the whole summer so far.” He runs his hands down his face. “We’d never done anything before, and I honestly didn’t think it would be a possibility. And then we did. And it was fast and not at all what I wanted it to be and just—sorry, Jaem.”

“No, no.” He gestures for him to continue. “Let it out. It’s good for you to process these things.”

“I thought I really fucked up by doing that, you know? She didn’t stay in my room with me that night, she didn’t even talk to me until the next day. Which maybe doesn’t seem bad, but it is for us. But then she said she wanted to do it again, and I…well, I obviously didn’t say no. Maybe I should have.” He picks at his nails, fighting hard with the lump lodged in his throat.

“Honestly, I’m having trouble figuring out why you won’t tell her how you feel.”

“If I tell her and lose her because of it, I genuinely don’t know how I’d live without her. She’s been in my life forever, Jaem. It’s not her fault I can’t keep myself in check,” he says.

“If she doesn’t realize you’re in love with her, she’s really fucking dense.” Jaemin chuckles to himself. “And you’re equally as dense for thinking that she doesn’t love you.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Yes, it is.”

“How?”

“Chenle, you’ve spent every day with her this summer. And I’m not going to pretend to know your business, but I’m sure all the alone time you’ve had hasn’t been innocent. Nobody in their right mind starts sleeping with their best friend without at least a little bit of a worry that they’ll fall in love. Come on, you two are practically dating already anyway.”

“It’s hard, okay?” Chenle brushes the other man off. “We said we’d talk about it at the end of the summer, so I’m gonna save my heart for a few more days.”

“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.” Jaemin taps the railing once more before he starts his descent down the stairs. “You won’t get what you want if you’re sitting around and watching it pass you by.”

Day 26 | June 26th

He told himself he would hold off on any more physical stuff before he was able to talk to you about what happened last night, but that was…apparently…short lived. Your chest presses against his, both of you on your sides as he gently massages your ass. You made it a point this morning to grind back against him until he was hard and aching. He’s not entirely sure how he’s avoided exactly this for so long.

He pulls your leg up on his waist, stretching you as he rubs his cock against your folds. You moan into his mouth as your slickness coats him, signaling to him that you’re more than ready to take everything he has to offer.

After a few moments of shifting, his tip enters you. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he thrusts the head of his cock in and out. Chills already break out along his body, his palms sweaty as he teases you.

“Please,” you whimper. “I need more.”

“Greedy girl,” he scolds you, slowly pushing all the way in. “Pretty baby just wants to be full, huh?”

“Only you,” you mumble, nearly incoherently as you try to rock your hips. “Only greedy for you.”

Under normal circumstances, he’d care about the sound of the bed squeaking, or the way the headboard taps the wall with each of his thrusts, but all he’s thinking about is fucking good this position allows him to feel you.

After fucking you raw, the condom almost hinders the feeling of you clenching around him, but he tries to focus on giving you as much pleasure as he can.

“C’mon, tell me what you want.” Chenle bucks his hips hard, making you whine.

“Touch me. Wanna cum.” Your head lolls forward, forehead smacking into his chest.

“Touch you where, baby?” He pushes you further. “You’re already soaking my cock, what else could you need?”

“Lele, please—”

“I’ll stop,” he warns you. “Neither of us will finish if you don’t use your words.”

Dazed, you let out a frustrated moan, and he smirks at you.

“M-my clit,” you whisper. “Please touch me there.”

Your arousal squelches around him with each of his thrusts, and you squirm as you yearn for your orgasm that’s just out of reach. He considers teasing you more, but you look so fucking good like this, walls pulsing and begging for release, he can’t deny you.

His hand snakes down your body, and he kisses your jawline. “Don’t cum ‘til I say you can, okay? I’d hate to punish you when you’ve done so well so far.”

“If y—fuck.” You cut yourself off when his finger comes in contact with your swollen, aching bud, and your nails scratch down his back. He knows you won’t be able to hold back if he touches you in the right way.

“You gotta wait for me, baby, I’m almost there.” He thrusts harder, the creak of the bed becoming more prominent as he continues barely rubbing your clit.

“Lele.” You clench your eyes shut. “I c-can’t, oh my God.”

“But you’re so good.” He slams his hips against yours. “So fucking good, just a little longer.”

Your entire body shakes. He didn’t think he’d ever find something like this so arousing, but when you look at him and your eyes are welled with tears from your need, he curses, thrusts one more time, and cums hard into the condom when he’s buried deep inside you.

He can’t remember the last time he came this much, and he wishes he didn’t have this stupid fucking piece of rubber on. The idea of painting your insides white has him thrusting through his overstimulation to bring you to your peak.

He applies more pressure to your clit, pinching it, rubbing it until you bite down on his shoulder hard as your walls and body convulse in his grasp. Cursing at the jolt of pain he feels, he moans when he realizes how it adds to his pleasure.

“Holy shit,” he whispers as you let go of him.

“Asshole.” You laugh, attempting to catch your breath.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, scratching up and down your back. “It felt like you liked it.”

“Yeah, I hope that bite mark scars permanently.”

“Laying claim on me, are you?”

Oh, how he wishes you would.

Day 28 | June 28th

Today is arguably Chenle’s favorite day of the summer. Ironic, since it’s the second to last full day he has with all of his friends, but the tradition set is what makes him think this way.

A bonfire crackles in front of him, his arm over your shoulder as everyone stands around the climbing orange flame. The goal is each person writes all of their regrets down from the past year, and what they hope to accomplish over the next, and then they burn it. It’s an odd positivity ritual that none of them have ever skipped.

Chenle wrote his down the night before after you fell asleep.

Regrets:

I regret not telling (Y/N) I love her. Again.

I regret not seizing every opportunity that presents itself to me.

I regret wasting my life away while everything I’ve ever wanted is right in front of my eyes.

I regret shutting down and allowing my friends to help me.

I regret not advancing in my chosen career path.

Hopes:

I hope I will be able to express myself thoroughly.

I hope I will be able to tell (Y/N) my feelings.

I hope those feelings will be reciprocated.

I hope, above all, that she’s happy.

He glances around, taking a look at everyone around him. Jaemin, Jeno, Heewon, Donghyuck, Mark, Chaeyoung, and even you. Each person has had such a fundamental hand in the making of the person he is today, and a lot of times, he takes that for granted.

“Okay, who wants to go first?” Mark asks.

“I will,” you say, stepping up.

Chenle watches you with adoration, wishing he could move forward with you, but knowing there are some times where you have to shine on your own.

“Another year.” You clear your throat. “All of you mean the world to me. You helped me when I was twelve and in desperate need of a confidence boost, and you help me now at twenty-three when sometimes all I need is a drink and a cookie.”

A chorus of laughter falls from everyone.

“Mark, thank you for all of the midday pep-talks and reality checks. Jeno, thank you for being the comedic relief right when I always need it. Jaemin, thank you for always knowing what to say, no matter the situation. Chae, thank you for saving me from myself more times than I can count. Hyuck, thank you for knowing exactly when I want ice cream and a rant session. Heewon, thank you for never judging me despite my shit decisions.”

You turn back to Chenle, the gleam in your eye reflecting the billions of stars from the sky above.

“Chenle, thank you for never underestimating me and for knowing me better than I know myself. For all of the years we’ve had, and all the ones we will have.”

“You’ve got all of mine,” Chenle says to you.

With a final grin, you take your folded up piece of paper out of your pocket and toss it into the fire, and everyone watches as it burns to ash. Once you’re satisfied, you move back to Chenle and hug him tightly.

He deflates in your grasp, cradling the back of your head and relishing in the weight of your words.

Mark goes next, then Hyuck, Chae, Heewon, Jaemin, and Jeno, leaving Chenle to be the last one. He purses his lips, twirling his own note in his fingers as he glances over his shoulder at you.

It takes him a while to think of what he wants to say despite the fact he’s been looking forward to this since the vacation started. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the smokiness of the air mixed with ocean salt, and really, truly thinks of how he’s made it as far as he has.

“Well, guys, another year down.” He shakes his head as he thinks of how fast time passes. “Life wouldn’t be the same without you guys. We get busy throughout the year, but I’m really happy we get to spend this time here and that we’re able to be together this entire month. Everyone has their unique roles in this friend group, and it’d be incredibly off if any one of us weren’t here. So, my thank you is for all of you, for being there for me and making this little bunch into a family. ‘Cause that’s what you guys are. You’re my family.”

He glances back at you much like you had done to him, and he’s met with your dazzling smile. His nerves calm at the sight, and he chews the inside of his cheek as he tosses his paper into the flame.

It’s like he physically feels the hurt, regret, and carelessness from the past year lift off his shoulders, intertwine with the smoke, and disappear. He feels lighter, like he can take on the world. And in this moment, when he sees you staring at him with such adoration, he knows that now is the moment.

No time will ever be the right time, and he’ll never have courage if he doesn’t push himself.

He walks back to you, hands in his pockets. “(Y/N), can I talk to you over there for a minute?”

You nod, and as he guides you a safe distance away, he meets Jaemin’s gaze. The grin of approval is all he needs, and the other man makes sure the friend group is paying attention to him instead of you and Chenle.

“What’s up?” you ask, tilting your head. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He pauses and reaches over to grab your hand. “I just…One of my regrets last year was not having courage, and not being able to ask for the things I want because I wasn’t…ready for them, I guess.”

You nod, urging him to continue.

“You’re my best friend. All of this stuff we’ve been through this summer, I need you to know that’ll never change no matter what. If I didn’t have you in my life, I think I’d be screwed.” He chuckles, the nerves gnawing away at his throat and making his voice shake. “This has been the best month of my life, honestly, but I shouldn’t have gone into something like this without being completely transparent.”

To that, you frown, but wait for him to continue.

He takes a moment to work up the strength to tell you, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles. His hands shake, and he feels faint, but he knows it’s now or never. He can’t let you leave this place for another year without knowing the truth.

“I…I’m in love with you. And I have been for so long, but I didn’t want to ruin this. When all of this started, I wanted to tell you no because I thought I’d end up getting hurt because of it all. And maybe I still will, but at least now you’ll know the truth.”

He’s not sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t you starting to laugh. His gaze darts back up to yours, and your head is in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “If that’s not what you wanted, we can still be—”

“Zhong Chenle, you are far too dense for your own good.” You beam at him, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss.

He’s in shock at first, but after a second, he’s pulling you as close to him as possible. You swallow his sigh of relief, and when he moves back, he sees the tear streaks down your face.

“Hey, none of that,” he whispers, wiping them away.

“I love you, Chenle,” you tell him. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so fucking long—”

You cut yourself off by connecting your lips to his again, giggles interrupting you every so often.

The rest of the group cheers and yells by the fire, clearly not one of them surprised by this outcome. He leads you back to them, fingers interlocked tightly and a permanent smile etched on his face.

For the rest of the night, he doesn’t let you go. He holds you close, kisses you all over your face, and squeezes you.

He loves you.

He’s in love with you, and you’re not going anywhere.

If this is the cruelest summer he ever has to endure, he’s more than ready for the rest of them.

[molsno]

god, what happens next is so good. the character writing is just spectacular. it fascinates me just how much depth there is to each character and how that contributes to the story.

milo's dni is the most revealing thing about him, and it's the very first thing we hear from him:

right off the bat, we can see what kind of person the protagonist is. he's a pastel softboi trans man who clings to a childish aesthetic to appear weak and non-threatening. despite being involved in a toxic relationship with another trans guy who attempted to rape and kill an 11 year old girl when he was a teenager and later murdered his girlfriend, which milo helped with by dismembering her corpse, he puts "pedophiles and unhealthy pairing shippers dni" on his carrd. which, ok, maybe he wants to distance himself from people like griffin now - except that's not really true, because he talks to, moves in with, and regularly hangs out with a serial killer fan who idolizes griffin and is even dating the guy while he's in prison. he puts "being against neopronouns" and "anti-otherkin" on the same level as those things. he explicitly denies any responsibility in the murders of haylie and savannah, despite having literally chopped haylie's arm off. all the while, he has "you deserve to heal" in big bold letters, while not applying that belief to anyone but himself.

right from the start, it's obvious that milo is not a good person. but he's also humanized throughout the story. sure, some of his softboi persona is a means of victimizing himself to avoid taking responsibility for what he did - and you could make the case that he was a victim in some ways. on the other hand, he also never got to grow up because he spent 5 years in a psychiatric institute. is it any surprise that he clings to the same aesthetic, interests, and hobbies he had when he was 15? he never got to stop being a kid, and how is he supposed to now? he didn't graduate high school, he can't get a job, and nobody wants to be friends with him because of what he did. it raises uncomfortable questions - namely, what happens next? milo served his time for the crime he committed as a minor. he was already punished, but now he has to live the entire rest of his life. what is he supposed to do?

that, I think is the most interesting part of this story. almost every character in this story makes it hard for you to like them, but they also have very human reasons for doing the terrible things that they do. I'll talk about some of my favorites under the read more, but be aware that there will be spoilers:

claire is one of the most interesting characters to me, just because of how unlikable she is.

when we first see claire in victim impact statement, she tries to ignore haylie, griffin, and milo as much as possible. she doesn't even seem to like her sister. she treats haylie as a nuisance for coming into the room that they share as sisters. she doesn't want to go to the open mic night to listen to haylie play her ukulele. when she finds haylie bawling her eyes out in the bathroom at anime central, she just looks away, as if to say "you chose to date your shitty boyfriend". when she hears haylie and griffin fighting upstairs, she just pretends not to hear it. when haylie is curled up in terror later, claire puts on headphones and turns her back to her. her headphones become a way of drowning out haylie's screams when griffin is around, and because of that, she doesn't hear haylie screaming for her life, and ends up finding her corpse in the kitchen.

that's why I don't find it surprising at all that she becomes an outspoken transphobe who wants to take her anger out on the trans people who murdered her sister. she goes to media events and publicly degenders milo and griffin. she calls aaron's friends trannies. I think it's easy to misconstrue her as a terf, but she literally doesn't even pay lip service to feminism. how could she? she knew that her sister was being abused by her boyfriend, and she did nothing. let me remind you that she lives in a house where "smash the patriarchy" is embroidered on the wall. she doesn't care about any of that. she just wants a scapegoat. she wants to make the law impose harsher punishments on minors who commit violent crimes because she doesn't know what else to do with her life. she very clearly hates herself, becoming an alcoholic to cope with her guilt. she pretends to care about haylie and fight for this law because it's the only way she can convince herself she's a good person, even though she can see that doing what she's doing is turning everyone against her.

and then that brings us to audrey. it's difficult to like her, too, because she's dating claire despite all of the horrible things she's doing. but at the same time, I can see where she's coming from. her mother died of cancer and she and all of her other black siblings were adopted by conservative christian white parents. she's still christian to this day, and makes a point of separating herself from "criminals" by insisting that she has nothing to do with them because she goes to church and takes care of her family. she doesn't want to disavow the law that claire worked so hard to pass because at the end of the day, it won't affect her personally, even though she is aware that the justice system disproportionately punishes black people. she very clearly has a lot of internalized racism, and I think that's best exemplified in the way she draws herself. despite having pretty dark skin in real life, she draws herself as light skinned as claire, her white girlfriend:

like, it's hard to like audrey, but you can clearly see why she's made all of the decisions she has! she idolizes claire because it's her first lesbian relationship. the way she sees it, claire can do no wrong. audrey does actually seem to be aware that her girlfriend is doing terrible things, but she essentially just plugs her ears and tries to ignore it. that's why she doesn't go to claire's campaign events. she ignores all of her girlfriend's flaws because claire is essentially her savior. because she has claire, she doesn't have to go back to her family, to her abusive alcoholic white father. she doesn't have to actually take care of her younger siblings, which is a responsibility she's foisted off unto mark. that's why she ignores that claire is just as much of an emotional drain as her father. she's highly depressed, she's an alcoholic, she trashes their bedroom (leaving audrey to clean up after her mess), she puts up an emotional wall and dismisses audrey's attempts to comfort her, and dismisses audrey's own problems as being less traumatizing and less important. by all accounts, claire is a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person, but because audrey idolizes her as her savior, she stays by her side. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to claire's disappearance in future chapters.

and then of course, there's vikki. she's been doing something incredibly disrespectful for years by making true crime videos where she talks about the victims and killers like it's all a joke. she makes a video about whether ethical necrophilia is possible, and makes a callous, bitter joke that the concept of "respect for the dead" is antiquated, because nobody respects her as a trans woman of color even though she's still alive. for this comment, people have harassed her online endlessly, enough that she had to make a video called "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I FUCK CORPSES". that doesn't stop her from making a video about the murder of haylie, complete with an interview from milo. she'll throw him under the bus if it means getting the attention off herself for a bit.

and yet, I think out of everyone, I feel the most compassion for vikki. yes, she used milo for content and called him a "sad little blonde girl", but I can understand where she's coming from! like, again, she's a trans woman of color in the true crime community. she knows the archetype milo is trying so hard to be in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he did. like, I've personally seen trans women of color who are victimized by white trans men who pull the same exact shtick as milo over and over, so I completely understand her frustration. that said, she also realized she went too far and tried to apologize, only to find out she was blocked and that milo basically wrote a callout post against her. I think it says a lot that vikki was one of the only people to actually try to talk to milo, even if the way she went about it was wrong.

vikki does things that are disrespectful, but to be honest, it's not that surprising! she grew up in a 90% white town in the middle of nowhere, got assaulted by multiple white boys for being a faggot, got sent to alternative school, worked for a funeral home as a teenager, and transitioned. not only is she desensitized to death, she's angry that people revere the dead more than her.

it's astounding, really! what happens next is so well written because it makes you feel conflicted about each of its characters. what are we supposed to do with these people who do awful things? a lot of the intrigue in this comic comes from seeing how each of the characters handles this question as they deal with the other characters who have done terrible things, while they themselves are deeply flawed as well. I think the writing really forces you to contend with the idea that these are all still people, and that their humanity needs to be recognized even if they do terrible things. it makes you ask, what happens next?

[aingeal98]

Btvs is such a crazy show how is there only a handful of episodes acknowledging that Willow and Xander have abusive families and would choose Buffy in a heartbeat over anyone they're blood related to. And yet despite how it's barely seen on screen, their family life and how it influenced them shines through in practically every episode. We never even meet Willow's dad but from her mom alone plus how she's treated in school it's like oh man. This kid never had a chance did she.

How many times did Buffy chat away about her mom and Dawn while Willow and Xander shot each other confused glances trying to correlate the kind of love they're hearing about with their own version that they messily pieced together when they met in kindergarten. And then Buffy talks about Hank Summers and they're like ah yes. Much more familiar territory.

And of course it all culminates in the ending of S6. Xander can't stop Willow spiralling into nihilistic evil. They're both broken people who never had a real blueprint for how to be a functional child, let alone a functional adult. But at the same time, they taught each other love before they learned how to write the word. It doesn't matter that he's kind of shitty in general. It doesn't matter that by this point she's kind of worse. Even if they can't fix themselves or the world that shaped them so cruelly, he can at least love her. She can at least trust that much to always be true.

Platonic hand in unlovable hand. The world is alive because some random guy exists and as long as he's alive the terrifyingly powerful witch who could destroy the planet won't be tempted to. He's just some dude and you don't have to clap for him but if you kill him, well then she's blowing up the building and everyone in it. High possibility the blast radius will take out the whole earth depending on what kind of day you caught her on.

[scuderia-hamilton]

you're saying that Daniel didn't deserve this, but you're still hating on him for that shit he said back in february

make up your mind for fuck's sake

wow okay appreciate you being so civil and nice lmao

just so we’re clear, i’m upset about the principle of this situation cause i hate teams dropping drivers mid-season without warning and treating them like garbage, because they’re all human beings at the end of the day. ultimately they’re all risking their lives weekend after weekend and the teams not having the decency to at least give them a proper goodbye is mad disrespectful.

now that we got this out of the way, the truth is i couldn’t care less about Daniel leaving. it is what it is. i’m not a fan, i never have been and never will be. "that shit" he said back in february was him defending a sexual abuser and i don't know about you, but that's just not something i can easily forget. but what was i expecting from the same man who said that it's "not in his nature" to understand human rights issues and he doesn't watch the news because it's too much drama and negativity and it makes him feel shitty? his next adventure should be teaching weaponized incompetence to beginners.

i can feel bad for him, cause i (unlike him) possess empathy and compassion, along with critical thinking skills. i really tried to refrain from haterism, but i'm honestly so tired of trying to be the bigger person. fans like you (from this visceral reaction, i assume you're a fan) are part of the reason why DR is insufferable and trying to have a nuanced conversation is a lost cause. there is a middle ground between hatred and unquestionable support, i hope you know that.

i don't think he deserved that seat to begin with and i think deep down all of you know that, cause the only thing y'all could come up with to defend him was that he smiled a lot and had a great personality (which is honestly baffling to me, cause his personality is that of a high school bully's, but to each their own, i guess). but y'all are the same people who then turn around and call Checo racial slurs, say that he's washed and call him a pay driver. talk about your driver's skills, let's hear it.

and to make it clear i am over the moon happy for Liam Lawson, cause i think he actually deserves to be in the sport and i am happy that he was the one who replaced him. hating on him also says more about y'all, than him, cause that won't actually bring back your mediocre driver. log off, go out and touch some grass, cause it is never that serious. harassing a young driver who's just trying to do his job and achieve his life long dream over a poorly managed situation he had absolutely no control over is honestly crazy behaviour.

i hope all this is enough for you to know where i stand on this whole thing. if you would've been nice, you would've gotten a nice answer, but since you chose to be an asshole on my own blog, anonymously at that, you get what you came for.

have the day you deserve.

[staarb0y]

can you write a smut enemies to lovers with nick and make reader? like nick was readers bully in middle school and then they get almost all the classes that are the same in high school

Apology

Pairings: Nick Sturniolo x male reader

Warnings: Praise

Summary: Nick wants to apologize for how he treated you during your middle school years. You go to his house after school and he makes you feel better.

Word count: 2,940

a/n: I go to school in canada so middle school is grades 7-9 and high school is grades 10-12 and you have 4 periods a day. Also I hope you want a part 2 because you're getting one!

a/n 2: It wouldn't let me put Freak by Lana Del Rey but thats the fucking song I wanted so go listen!

When you walked into your first period english class and saw Nick Sturniolo sitting in one of the seats you instantly wanted to leave and not come back. He had bullied you all through your middle school years and made your life hell. When you realized the only empty seat left in the class was right next to him you felt even worse. You sat down not even acknowledging him, expecting to have something thrown at you, yelled at you, etc, but nothing. The teacher walked in and the class started, he was going over what your first assignment for the week would be when a note landed on your desk. A little crumpled up sticky note. You look up and see Nick staring at you. When he sees you looking back at him he immediately puts his head down. Weird behaviour coming from him you think to yourself. You open up the crumpled up sticky note and see his messy handwriting. 'Looking good today y/n ;)'

You grab your pen off your desk and write back 'thanks asshole.' You crumple it back up and throw it back onto his desk where it originated.

You knew you got hotter over the summer. You started working out, cleared up your skin, started eating better, and it showed. You got a new haircut that suited your face better and you started dressing how you wanted to. Today you were wearing a plain hoodie and jeans, along with some adidas sneakers. The hoodie was slightly small on you, so when you lifted your arms it showed off your waist.

When the bell rang signalling you to your 2nd period class, you got up and started navigating through the busy hallways. You're almost at your 2nd period when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around and Nick's facing you. "I wasn't joking with what I said y/n, you look really hot." Is he serious? "Thanks I guess... but why the fuck are you talking to me. You've treated me like shit the past 3 years." He looks at you with guilt, "I know, thats why I wanna talk to you after school. Would you walk home with me?" What the fuck. What changed, why's he acting like this. "Let me think about it." You turn around and walk away into the crowds of people in the hallway.

You sit down in your 2nd period art class and when you think you're gonna get a break from Nick he sits down at the other end of the table from you. "You're persistent," you say. He looks at you, "look I just wanna talk," he says.

You spend the rest of your day trudging through 3rd and 4th period trying to ignore Nick, who keeps following you to your classes. With your luck, he somehow manages to have the exact same schedule as you. As you look up at the clock for the 100th time in last period the bell rings. 'Fucking finally' you think to yourself as you get up and head to your locker. You get your stuff and walk out of the school ready to finally go home. As you start the walk home you hear Nicks voice behind you.

"Hey y/n, can I walk with you now?" You forgot that Nick would be walking home with you. "Sure," you say. He catches up to you and walks next to you. "Y/n, I'm really sorry for how I treated you the last couple years. Over the summer I realized that I just felt bad about myself and I took it out on you and I'm sorry. I like you." What. I mean you always thought Nick was kinda hot even though he was shitty to you. You just weren't expecting this coming from him. "I wanna get to know you better, maybe I can try to fix how I've treated you in the past. Do you wanna come to mine? My parents aren't home and my brothers are gonna be at their friends." "Sure, how far's your house" "Just a few minutes from here."

As you walk with Nick you wonder if you're making the right decision. He's been a total dick to you for the past 3 years and now he wants to be friends with you. You arrive at his house and walk in, taking off your shoes as he closes the door behind you. "Come on," he says, leading you upstairs to his bedroom. You walk into the room and sit down on his bed. It's really comfy and his whole room kind of just has a comforting vibe to it. He sits down next to you on the bed. "I'm really sorry y/n, I wish I could go back in time and stop myself. I hope this helps make up for it." He grabs your face and brings his lips to yours, kissing you softly. He pulls away, "was that ok?" You answer him by pulling him back in and kissing him deep. Your arms wrap around his neck and your fingers are tangled in his hair as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You deepen the kiss, whimpering into Nicks mouth as he tongue fucks you. You slowly pull away panting when Nick pushes you onto his bed, laying you down. You look up and see Nick undoing your belt, and then pulling down your jeans.

If you wanna suck me off so bad can we atleast get into a more comfortable position. He turns red in the face, "yeah of course." You kick your jeans off your ankles, left in just your boxers. You pull your hoodie off over your head revealing your defined figure. You climb further onto his bed and under his covers, now lying under his multiple cozy blankets. He climbs in next to you and scoots down, lying fully covered by his blankets. Just his head is visible in between your thighs as he kisses the growing bulge in your boxers. He grabs your waistband and pulls down your boxers, taking them completely off and chucking them onto his floor next to your jeans.

"Fuck you're big y/n." He grabs your dick and starts to tongue at your tip, tracing wet circles on it. He takes your dick into his mouth, getting about halfway down before he goes back up and sucks on your tip. "Mmh fuck Nick. Fuck your door has a lock right?" He pulls off your dick, jerking you off to make up for the loss of the warmth of his mouth. Slick noises fill the room as he moves his hand up and down your length. "Yeah it does, and no one's gonna be home for hours anyway so don't worry about it. Just let me make you feel good ok?" That he is. He puts his mouth back on your dick, bobbing up and down quickly as his hand does the rest of the work at your base. "Oh fuck Nick your mouth feels incredible please don't stop!" He goes faster with his mouth, making your tip start to feel a little sensitive. His hand starts to move a little easier with his spit lubing it up. You feel your precum start to drip into his mouth. He does too, wanting to suck every last drop of it out of you. He milks your dick for more, sucking hard and lapping his tongue up and down your length in sync with his head. He moans around your dick, vibrations adding to the pleasure as his lips tighten. He feels more of your precum drip onto his tounge, swallowing the salty consistency. "Nick fuck," you groan out as his free hand cups your balls, fingers grazing your taint. You whimper and pant as you feel your orgasm coming on, "mh Nick I think I'm gonna cum." He pushes his head down your length, trying to take you to the base. He does but not without gagging a bit, your dick getting swallowed by the back of his throat. His nose is hitting your pubic bone as you shoot your cum down his throat. He sucks you through your orgasm, mouth remaining all the way down your dick as he sucks softly. He does this until you go soft in his mouth, he pulls off and looks up at you.

"You want a turn?" You ask, slightly out of breath. "Fuck yeah," he says, looking at you excited. You quickly switch positions, you now laying in between his thighs. You pull down the slutty grey sweatpants he was wearing, "No underwear, really?" He smiles as you pull the sweatpants down far enough for you to access his dick. You grab his already hard dick and start to jerk him off, making him let out soft pants and whimpers. You lick his tip as you keep jerking him off, quickening the pace on his dick. "Y/n fuck you're good at this" he says in between pants as you keep licking his tip. You tongue at his slit making him let out a loud whimper. You wrap your lips around his length and slowly sink down, taking him inch by inch. "Ah fuck good job you feel so good." You wrap your tongue around his length and suck, salivating all over his dick. You feel yourself blush from the praise he was giving you. You pull your lips up to his tip and then down quickly, starting to bob your head on him. You start to grind your hips into the mattress below you, whimpering softly around his dick. "Good boy y/n," you make him moan as you suck him, quickening the pace of your head on his dick. You grab his balls with one of your hands as you continue to suck him, fingers brushing against his taint. You use your other hand to jerk him off at the base, making up for the last 2 inches out of his 6 that you couldn't quite take into your mouth. "Mm fuck y/n such a good boy for me keep going." You feel yourself blush some more as you continue, starting to taste his bitter precum in your mouth. You grind into the bed as you suck harder trying to pump more out of him, bobbing your head a little lower every time you come back down, trying to reach his base. You feel his hands in your hair as he suddenly holds your head firmly in place, thrusting into your mouth. You moan around him as he pulls out to his tip and thrusts all the way back in, pubes hitting your nose as you take him all the way. You grind harder into his bed, dick twitching while you suck him. He keeps fucking up into your mouth, holding you in place. You grip onto his thighs as more precum spills into your mouth. You swallow it down quickly begging for more. He rests his hips down on the bed and controls your head instead, letting your head do the work while he trys not to cum too quick. He has a firm hold on your hair as he pulls you up before quickly pushing you back down to the base of his dick. Your spit is dripping down his balls to his taint as he fucks your mouth. You can feel him deep in your throat as moans spill out of his mouth. He continues using your head as a toy, cursing under his breath as he moans out your name. You tighten your mouth around him, and he moans out loud, "fuck, just like that please don't stop y/n please." You keep your mouth tight around him as he controls your head, dick throbbing in your mouth. He fucks up into you a few more times before he cums hard into your throat. "Fuck y/n mmh," moans are falling out of his mouth uncontrollably as he rides out his high, gripping your hair tight as he uses your mouth. "Fuck y/n that was so good, your mouth is so good." You keep sucking him, slowing down and sucking softly on him as he goes limp in your mouth. He pulls out of your mouth slowly, a strand of saliva connecting his tip to your tongue.

You pull up those grey sweatpants he had on, climbing on top of him still naked. You pull him into a kiss, tongue sliding into his mouth. He moans into you as he can taste himself on your tongue. Your spit slides into his mouth as he grabs your ass, groping you. He begins to fight back with his tongue, ultimately winning when his tongue is exploring your mouth. His arms wrap around your neck, holding you in place. Your laying on him naked when his tongue slides deeper into your mouth. You start to suck lightly on it, making him whimper into your mouth. You swallow the mix of spit in your mouth, moaning as he continues to explore your mouth with his tongue. You melt into him as you make out, one of his hands reaching back down to your ass to grope you. You swear his tongue has touched every part of your mouth by the time you slowly pull away.

You climb off him, grabbing your boxers off his floor and sliding them onto your thighs and up past your aching dick. "You want some of my sweatpants?" He asks. You nod and he grabs you some out of his dresser, handing them to you. You slide them on and now you're matching with him, both wearing grey. "Come here," he says. You walk over to his bed, he's sitting on the edge of it, legs open. You walk up to him and he places his hands on your waist, pulling you on top of him and onto the bed. "Cuddle with me y/n" he speaks softly into your chest. You obey his request as he lays up against one of the pillows on his bed, you resting your head on his stomach. "Is it ok if I sleep over Nick?" You ask, looking up at him. "Yeah of course, but my parents can't know ok? If they come upstairs hide under my bed." "Okay," you say, resting your head back onto his stomach. You reach for your phone, grabbing it and texting your mom.

Is it cool if I hangout with my friend tonight?

Yeah that's okay. Are you sleeping over there?

Yes

Ok

You put your phone down on his bed and close your eyes as your head rests on his stomach. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you y/n. I hope I made up for it a bit just now," Nick says softly. "It's a start," you mumble. He plays with your hair as you fall asleep.

[werewolf-cuddles]

So yeah, as it turns out, trying to avoid making one ending canon over the other doesn't work all the time.

It worked reasonably well in the second game and Wavelengths because Max and Chloe were not directly involved in the story, so that final choice was the only thing they needed to account for.

It doesn't quite work as neatly when you bring Max back and make her the main character again. If you're treating both endings as canon, then you need to explain what happened to Chloe in the event that players chose to save her over Arcadia Bay.

And quite understandably, having them split up during the timeskip has not gone over well with a good chunk of the fanbase. Whether it makes sense for them to drift apart or not isn't relevant, breaking up a couple offscreen is inevitably going to make fans of that couple feel shitty.

No matter what, it's impossible to have Double Exposure respect both endings equally, because having Chloe and Max break up offscreen inherently disrespects everything they had to go through to be together in the first place.

This may or may not end up being an unpopular take, but in my opinion, Double Exposure should have only taken place in the Sacrifice Chloe timeline. It makes sense for the Max of that timeline to end up where she does in DE, not so much for the Max of the Sacrifice Arcadia Bay timeline.

Also, because people are being rubbed the wrong way by the "We were high school sweethearts" line, I should point out that it is very unlikely that she will say those words verbatim. The reveal stream did not show us what she actually says if you pick that option, and the actual dialogue always differs from the choices.

[sunlit-mess]

Please ignore if it's not your kind of conversation, but I've been wondering what's going on with me and I was wondering if you might be willing to share how you knew you had BPD or what that process was like for you. Thanks

Hello, I hope you're doing ok!! And I hope what I share can help, it's best to reach out. ::)

My discovery in BPD started at 17 when dad finally realized something is wrong with his oldest daughter. His exact words were that I was deteriorating and he hated seeing it. (Him and I have a complicated relationship, but we love our families just the same)

Although the symptoms started earlier than that, cue in childhood traumas, a shitty high-school, struggle with connection to other people and growing with a fucked up family.

To break it down:

My earliest symptoms were Abandonment issues and Paranoia (as a child), that I seemed like I had separation anxiety that engaged in people-pleasing. I hardly remember the rest of my childhood as if those memories are locked far in my head.

The next was until first year high-school where I started to develop obsessions, to an extent I seemed like a stalker. Naive, my relationships with other people always ended up toxic that even if I was so aware of it, I couldn't care less as long as they never leave me and such. Fortunately, I gave up and cut off. I remained an outcast, indifferent and it stayed that way.

Trouble in high-school was something, but what's worse was the toxicity in my own house, my family. What else could I do? Where else could I run to?

My moods started to have intense erratic patterns or just completely random and confuses most. As the years pass by, more obsessions and unhealthy habits developed as a way to "cope" or just felt what was right, what I deserve. This affects me as a whole because I never grew out of it. I never grew out of how we are treated in this house even until now that I am in college. I struggle in life AS A WHOLE from mentally to physically and so on.

Everyday I feel like I'm at war with my own head, my own self, feelings of hate and love, to other people and more in-between. And I'm actually always on edge as if it could be my last day. There are the endless list of what I have to hide and so much more confusing feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. Just to consider being, functioning "normal".

I actually struggle to voice these experiences, because I've been called insane and worse. Life keeps giving me lemons and I'm so, extremely, tired, but I can't give up as much as I want to. I have younger siblings I do not want to share this burden with.

I handle all of this myself ever since, even financially.

Lately, from my last consultation, was found out the disorder was also rooted from Autistic traits early life to adulthood in a way I couldn't show because of how we are treated at home. So.. To be fair it did make sense.

[tteokdoroki]

✩࿐TRACK 06: BESIDE YOU. denki kaminari (2K)

about. upon finally escaping your toxic ex, your friends do a little scheming which leads to a hook up with an old high school friend looking for something more.

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! suggestive, sfw, slight angst, fluff, happy ending, weed mention, mutual pining, make outs, old friends to lovers, love confessions, fem!reader, pro hero!kaminari.

things to note. eee here it is!! the final fic, thank you for joining me on this journey. i’m quite proud of myself for completing a project like this!! enjoy my loves! special thanks to @maliciouslove for beta reading mwah - masterlist / series masterlist / series playlist ✩

you don’t go to parties. 

something about them makes it hard for you to find the appeal in bass boosted music and sweaty bodies complied into one uncomfortably tight space. the drinks are never to your liking, cheap and sour at house parties but overly priced and bitter at the clubs your friends drag you to on the weekends. 

you don’t go to parties because of the people too. 

sure it’s fun, when you’re dancing up on your friends, sharing a giggle and snapping selfies that’ll serve as reminders of your youth when your knees grow a little too fragile for the excessive ass shaking and grinding on your girls. but then as soon as you start to feel yourself loosening up, a drunk stranger who meets the bare minimum will start hitting on one of your friends and the other will be dragged away to dance amongst a circle of them with the promise of texting you when they’re safe (and done fucking randos) for the night.

one by one, they typically leave you to fend for yourself until you end up at the shitty bar getting pity drinks from the bar tender. often while another drunk stranger (who’s so pissed that they can’t tell their nose from their toes) tries to flirt with you until you feel physically sick. 

you don’t go to parties, because you’ve never needed them. your friends tell you that they’re a great place to meet people and mingle, perhaps even date — but you’ve had no need to ‘organically’ meet people up until recently, being tied down to your ex and all. the way you’d met had been super cute too, he’d worked at a coffee shop you frequented on the way to your 9-5 job and one day grew the confidence to leave his number on your cup. you had spent hours deliberating on what to text him, settling for a simple ‘hey :) <3’ and the rest had been blissful history. 

of course he started treating you like shit and dumped you for the next best thing. 

so lately (with the hope that you would start getting over him)  your friends have been hauling your sorry ass to whatever motive they could find — even if the event had been hosted by some rando on the street.

that’s how you ended up with an exclusive invite to a house party full of pro heroes. your friends had gone snooping into people you knew from high school and encountered mina ashidou, who you worked closely with as a student on the support course. she was more than happy to help you soothe your scars and find some new meat at one of her monthly rager house parties. and of course your friends snapped up the chance to try their luck with your old (now) pro hero friends.

to say you were nervous to see everyone again was an understatement, and for most of the night you kept to being a fly on the wall — watching the alcohol induced antics ensue. you don’t even want to be here, surrounded by people from your past who are clearly doing much better in life than you are right now. 

this is so stupid.

why did you even think that coming here would do you any good? listening to your out-going, party-goer friends was probably the worst decision you’ve ever made. who were you kidding? coming to this place to make your ex jealous? like that would work in a million years. you really should just leave before anyone notices, tell them you felt sick and that you couldn’t do this. mina would surely understand—

“there you are, cutie. i almost didn’t recognise you!”  looking up at the sound of a velvety, yet, chipper voice — you rack your brain to match its tone with the pair of sunrise-gold eyes peering down at you. “still stuck in your head i see. you remember me?” 

“k-kaminari!” you squeak out the syllables of the electric blonde’s name — shocked and surprised that pro hero chargebolt would even recognise you after all the time that’s passed since high school. from what you can remember about back then, denki kaminari was a friend of mina’s and so a friend of yours by extension. he was a good guy, struggled with his quirk but genuinely tried his best. “hi! how are you?” 

as if the blonde hadn’t heard your question, he swoops down to meet your height and presses an arm against the wall just above your head — asking you to repeat the question with a gentle smile. 

“what was that, sweetheart? 

you think you might fucking pass out from how close denki is. his citrusy cologne overwhelms your senses and from this close, you can tell how much he’s grown. through the smokiness of the party — the joints and the cigarettes, you can see that he’s much leaner and taller than when you were in school, with the right amount of muscle as well. his golden skin glows under mina’s party lights, his eyes are sleek and sensual but inviting too, and he’s so handsome you can feel yourself beginning to swim.

swallowing thickly, you stutter out. “i said…how are you?” 

“oh!” denki chuckles, the sound shooting straight through you warmly. “i’m doing good, better now that i’ve found you here cutie! mina told me you were coming.” cocking his head, he gives you the once over and that same smile from before returns to his pretty face. “you look good, i’ll admit, my jaw practically hit the floor when i first saw you from across the room.” 

what the fuck is going on here? 

while you’re flustered and certainly enjoying the attention from an old schoolmate — you can’t seem to piece together the puzzle, asking yourself exactly why he would be flirting with you. you haven’t seen denki since graduation aside from his TV appearances and marketing campaigns (which, by the way, his PR team are doing amazing at), so you’re confused as to what he wanted with you.

wishing the wall or the floor would swallow you whole — you press your hands gently into denki’s broad shoulders to push him away from you, surprised when he doesn’t budge. “uh…kaminari…”

“hmm?” 

grimacing, you avoid looking him in the eye, knowing you’ll melt into a puddle if you do. “why are you suddenly flirting with me?”

for a moment, the blonde looks taken aback but he quickly blinks the expression away and smirks down at you again. “‘cause i’m into you, duh!” you flinch when his soft hands (slightly rough due to his quirk) tilt your chin upwards and you lose yourself in his amber irises. “come on, lemme take you somewhere? i wanna be able to talk to you properly.” you frown in suspicion which only makes denki laugh cheekily. “promise i’m not a serial killer. i’m a hero now, remember?” 

relenting, you let the electric hero lead you away from the bustling crowd infiltrating the living room, hallways and kitchen — swallowing your heartbeat when he drags you up the stairs to one of ashido’s unoccupied bedrooms. kaminari has you seated on sheets with a thread count so high you fear they might cost half of your rent for the month. he clambers onto the bed beside you, so close that your shoulders bump and you can feel the warmth of his skin bleeding into yours. 

“so now that it’s just you and i… no other guys,” he purrs into the shell of your ear, coaxing you backwards into the sheets. there’s no interruptions, just you and him. “we can finally catch up a little, huh, cutie?” 

“uhuh…” you nod dumbly as you feel denki’s hand traverse up your thighs, stopping just under the hem of your shirt while he crawls on top of you. it’s nice, having someone touch you like this after so long, after your ex — but there’s a nagging feeling in the back of your mind telling you that this isn’t genuine or real. “w-wait!” you squeak when kaminari’s lips drop to your jawline, working their way up to your own.

denki, from what you’ve gathered, is a renowned fuck boy. now that he’s a little hotter (not that he wasn’t before) and more charming, he and his little friend sero hanta had been playing lucky dip with their dicks across the population right up until recently — when sero found himself in a long distance relationship. you had just gotten out of a long-term one yourself and you weren’t even sure if you could handle just having a bit of fun right now. 

the blonde peels away from you, faster than the speed of light, sitting back on his haunches. “hey, are you okay?” 

“yeah i’m just—“ you’re sure that you look a mess, clothes askew and chest heaving — but you have to make sure that this won’t be a mistake. “how do i know that you even like me, kaminari? we haven’t spoken in years, i just got out of a relationship and you’ve got this reputation now—“ 

it’s like kaminari can sense that you’re nervous and hesitant but just as easily as he can do that, he can also tell how badly you want this. “i’ve always liked you,” he says easily, unafraid, much unlike you. “but you never took me seriously back then. ‘nd i’m different now, i’m not nearly as slutty as you think.”

even in the darkness you can see a genuine glow to the electric hero’s golden eyes — you feel yourself trusting in him despite the charming front he puts up. “you made it a thing, yanno?” he continues, voice dipping into lower octaves that have your skin erupting in goosebumps. “in high school, you used to make a point of telling me that i’m not your type.” denki is all over you again, but he doesn’t push the boundaries of what you consent to. his hands only move further up when you let him, his nose pressed against your neck when you say yes. his lips on your skin when you plead. “how about now, cutie? judging by your reactions, i think i know what’s on your mind."

doubts and worries swirl around in your mind like a grade four hurricane. he’s making you dizzy, his scent, his smile, his words are driving you insane but you can’t help but worry. having sex with denki wouldn’t be the same has making love with someone you were once committed to but he still wants you, despite everything you’ve gone through. 

tilting your head up to face him, the electric blonde pulls you from your thoughts. “don’t worry, cutie. we won’t do anything you don’t want to.” he simpers, his canines just grazing your bottom lip. “but if you want me like i want you. then i’m here. anything to sate ya, beautiful.” 

“okay,” you swallow thickly, your shaky fingers coming up to rest on kaminari’s shoulders. “i want you.” 

“yeah?” he interrogates you lightly, searching through the sexual tension in the air for your absolute consent. bowing your body into denki’s, you breathe a quiet but firm  ‘yes’  which gives him to go ahead to push your legs apart with his knee. you’re so ready for him already and the fun has barely begun, your breathing hot and heavy as you cover your face at the indecent moans you let out. “don’t be shy, you decide how far we go tonight — i just wanna make you mine.” 

and with that, you decide to trust denki with the shattered pieces of your heart — accepting the sloppy kiss you find yourself locked in when he swoops down to give you one. soon after that, a haze falls over your mind and the night quickly falls away. 

when you wake up the next morning, patches of your body are sore and bruised just under the skin — littered with an array of deep blues, purples and burgundies from where kaminari had insisted on marking you all night. theres a tenderness  between your legs that makes a pulse of heat dance across your face as light bulb memories from your late night activities flash in your mind. 

you’re still at mina’s place, judging by the fact that your bed is not your bed and your clothes are crumpled on the floor where you usually would have tossed them on the back of your desk chair. rubbing at your eyes, you note that your makeup is definitely ruined, remembering that denki liked to see you cry — the aforementioned blonde nowhere to be found either. 

panic seizes your chest, intertwined with your lungs and your heart like the prickly vines of a pesky weed. had he left without a word? surely he didn’t regret last night? surely you weren’t that bad of a fuck? tears begin to flood your eyes, you’d trusted denki with a part of you that only your ex had seen and now he was gone like the wind too. 

you’re too caught up in your pity fest to notice the bedroom door creak open, however, only looking up when it slams shut and a sheepish denki is standing before it. “i-i brought you breakfast,” he stumbles over his words in an attempt to rush over to you with arms full of what smells like hashbrowns and breakfast muffins. “i-i got hungry and figured you would be too. i really did a number on you last night— oh please don’t cry, cutie!”

“i’m not crying!” you damn near screech, trying to hide your face from him. in a way, it’s sort of adorable how denki looks with his hair all messed up and marks of yours littered down his neck and what you can see if his shoulders. his golden eyes, so warm and charming, erratically search your face for any sign of pain as you dab away your own tears. 

“i texted too! i had to bug mina for your number before i left. which meant waking her up and she almost killed me — i’m sorry, maybe I should have woken you up too—“ in three short strides, denki crosses to the room and takes a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his arms after abandoning the food. it’s nice, being held like you matter to someone. it was never like that with your ex. 

but in your heart of hearts, you started to believe the words he told you at your break up. that you wouldn’t be able to move on, that your dependency on him would be the only thing to hold you back…and he was right. pitifully so. because while you’d shared an amazing night with kaminari, an old school friend, you were spending the morning-after crying your eyes out in front of him because you were afraid he’d leave. he owed you nothing!

“we should’ve never done this,” you hiccup pathetically despite how denki rocks your bodies back and forth to calm you down. “h-he was right… i’m so stupid!”

blonde eyebrows meet at the centre of denki’s forehead as he frowns deeply. not at you, never at you. he had heard the rumours about your ex and the downfall of your seemingly happy relationship, hell, it had even shocked him to see your relationship status on social media change from committed to single. that didn’t mean everything was as it seemed, nor that you deserved to have your heart ripped in two.

“fuck that,” the electric hero whispers a little too quietly at first, just barely heard over your sniffles and sobs while he sways you both. “fuck that guy. that’s a fucking lie and you know it!.” 

“k-kaminari!” you squeak in surprise, looking up at him with wide doe eyes.

shaking his head, he meets your gaze with frenzied sunshine eyes of his own. “this wasn’t a mistake to me, i really fucking wanted you, i always have,” he begins, using a knuckle to brush a stray tear from your cheek. “your ex was an asshole, but his love could have never felt right if he treated you so badly. made you feel like this.” next, denki presses his forehead to yours, hoping that his reassurances are enough. “maybe I’ve gone about this the wrong way, sleeping with you first and buying you dinner…breakfast… second. but i’ve always liked you, and i want to be the one beside you from now on…if you say it’s alright?” 

you’re not pleased to admit that kaminari makes you cry all over again — happy to admit that it’s for a different reason. because even after all this time apart, the blonde still wants you and only you. you’d be a fool not to switch sides and be with him. someone who likes you for you, they way you could like him.

so you giggle, allow kaminari to wipe your nose and call you pretty while you breathe out a quiet. “yeah, it’s alright…”

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[infernalodie]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐮𝐧 || 𝐋𝐞𝐱𝐢 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘚𝘰 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘐 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳"

Inspo: Tori Kelly - young gun

Pairing: Lexi Howard x Black!Male!reader

Summary: You did everything to make her feel worth it, but she gained it from another...

Warnings: slight angst with a bit of sad fluff

Words: 1450

The stars hung high tonight. Their glow brightened this particular night.

Sand shifted beneath your feet with the minuscule rocks pressing against them gently. And the ocean collapsed and washed up on the shore in a certain rhythm. Its harsh smell can be blocked out by the pure beauty of the moon’s shape reflecting off its surface.

It was tragic. If there was any way you could set it all on fire, you would. Maybe you would find comfort in the flame and get lost in it. But removing the time capsule of the memories connected would fucking destroy you. Because that would ultimately mean giving up moments of joy and raw love you’d felt then.

On a none systematic point, the time so fondly thought upon was wild and random. It was the peak of your high school life and where you had ventured further from your friend group. Seeking out people to make friends with or finally making your move on Lexi Howard. The girl who had been your MJ since grade school.

She told you everything that she loved and one of them was the ocean. How it looked in the night and how it felt more natural being here than in her skin at times. And you strove to make her feel worth it and more.

You gave up the vices you sought comfort in. You were content. But she flipped the world upside down and made your heart swollen. Just receiving a mere glance from her would make you stumble over your words like an idiot. Or hearing her laugh would make you choke on your breath.

There wasn’t much you wouldn’t do for Lexi. To only know that these feats you had managed for this girl would end up with her in the passenger seat with a drug dealer.

And maybe you still would’ve done these things. Maybe you wouldn’t have swam into the ocean and grabbed shells to gift her. Or the amount of money you had spent taking her on road trips. All of these had stacked up to the point where you could’ve been in financial ruin–but you loved her still.

Even now, standing at this beach with the continuous waves hitting the tips of your shoes, you managed to think so fondly of those memories despite how they turned out for you.

Looking to your right, you saw the group of classmates you spent years with. A class reunion. Maddy was still enjoying life and taking it by the balls. Spending time with celebrities in L.A. Cassie, well, she was nowhere to be found. Rue was living happily with Jules–still healthy after getting sober all those years ago. And Lexi was going big with her plays in New York. She was a full-scale writer and set designer.

But you? You went to school and pursued cooking. Got out of school and quickly realize that there was little to nothing you had entitled to. So, you moved. There had been no destined location in mind. You were managing to get by at some of the restaurants you worked at and as shitty as it sounded, you were happy. It was just a matter of time before you caught a break and could feel that pay off after everything you’ve been through.

It was beautiful, to say the least. Seeing all your friends here, hearing everything they’ve been up to. It made you wonder why you had even thought that coming here would be a terrible idea.

The shifting of sand under footsteps drew your attention. Turning to find Lexi with a sheepish smile, hands clasped around a red solo cup. “How’s life treating you, Y/n?”

Maybe it had been the timing and the greeting because of your prior thoughts, but you smiled. Letting a soft chuckle slip from your lips as you shrugged, shoving your hands into your denim pockets.

“Jumping from location to location has its perks. Get to see places I never thought existed,” you explained, exhaling heavily. “But it can’t be as good as being a big-time playwriter, right?”

Lexi shrugged bashfully, smiling up at you. “I wouldn’t say big-time, Y/n. But it’s been my dream and I’m getting to live through it. So, it’s been good.”

It was hard maintaining any conversation with her without it dissolving into remnants of your favourite memories. Sparking those forgotten emotions might be the worse thing you could do tonight. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you likely wouldn’t see her again after tonight. Just by fate or the decision to try and forget her for your sake.

“How’s Fez?” You inquired suddenly, clearing your throat and looking down at your feet.

“He’s Fez,” she laughed, “Still working tirelessly and still using his head to make ends meet on his end.”

“I heard you guys are having a kid.” It hurt seeing it on Facebook. Seeing how ecstatic she’d been with the news and how everyone was happy for her. And as much as you didn’t want to be selfish or weird, you’d imagined the two of you to have kids. Start a family in New York and strive for both of your guys’ dreams. But as much as your soul hurt, you were happy for her. “You thought of any names for it?”

Lexi laughed. “It?” She repeated giggling. “We haven’t thought of a name for her yet. But, I haven’t been able to sleep because names keep bouncing around in my head.”

You smiled, humming, deep in thought. That was something you’d be on the receiving end of hearing - especially from her. Maybe it was just you grasping the final pieces of reality, but it still shook you to your core hearing and acknowledging she was having a kid with Fez.

Sighing, Lexi looked out at the ocean and smiled. “Been a while since we’ve been here together, huh?”

“Yeah, 10 years or so, right?”

Lexi nodded, exhaling softly. “You know, I never told you how much of an influence you’ve had in my life,” she breathed. “Like, I don’t think I would’ve gone for my dreams without you.”

You blew a raspberry, shaking your head. “Nah, I didn’t do much.” You glanced down at her, sparing a pitiful smile. Truthfully, you don’t think you were in any way connected to her motivation or drive to pursue her dreams. If anything, you resembled a mosquito in the back of her mind that wouldn’t leave her alone.

But it did feel nice to live with that little bit of pride and happiness. Even if it was for such a short period of time.

“I don’t think you even realize the power you had.” Lexi looked up at you in question. Seeing that faint smile on your lips as you scoffed, shaking your head. “You had this thing about you. Like, you could give confidence to anyone who needed it. You appear in a room–it would clear everyone out and give you the center stage, you know what I mean?”

Lexi nibbled on her bottom lip, watching you turn to her with a sigh. “And despite how I feel and how much I love you, I am so fucking proud of you, Lexi. Really. You deserve all of what you have. The kid, Fez, the job. You deserve every-fucking-bit of it.” Hesitantly, you placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair, smiling when she grumbled. “Remember your worth, Lex. You are amazing. Don’t ever forget that.”

Leaning down, you kissed her head before brushing past her. So quick yet so gentle, it felt like a gust of wind danced past her. And it took a few moments for her to realize your words before she spun around to see your fleeting figure. It becomes disfigured in the darkness of the night with only the moonlight giving way of your departure.

She couldn’t contain the tears that stung the brim of her eyes. A natural heat of emotions blossomed and enveloped her entire face as she squinted, wanting to take in the last bit of you and take in every detail. “Y/n! What do you mean?”

You stopped for a moment, stuffing your hands in your pockets and turning toward her, smiling softly. “It’s something I never got to tell you before you left Highland. Maybe things would’ve been different if I did.” A tear slid down your cheek as you chuckled sadly. “But you need to know that talking to you and getting to know you has been the greatest thing in my life.”

Nodding to yourself, almost looking like you were finalizing something, you said, “I hope I see you again, Lex.”

[artzychic27]

There are AUs where Marc is Marinette's cousin, right? What if that was canonical? In my country there is the concept of the perfect cousin and privileged by relatives and they often compare anyone who steps out of the norm to this cousin…. I imagine them almost as siblings in childhood, but with Marinette always getting more attention. And when they grow up, she becomes manipulative with him, it has happened that the whole family fights with Marc because of her. And that's why he always helps her with her plans… and I imagine the ones who would interfere would be Nath, Zoe and Felix (the first two for obvious reasons and Felix as "ok, I'm a shitty cousin, but this is crossing the line").

Since he was born, Marc has always been overlooked by his cousin

She was always so talkative, sociable, making people laugh and smile, and he just read in silence

Oh, never mind that he gets 100% on a test, because Marinette got 101% after she explained her reasoning behind the answer she gave. La-dee-dah!

Because she’s the “perfect cousin” out of the two, Marinette is always getting whatever the fuck her spoiled little heart wants- A new expensive sewing machine, fancy fabrics, magazines from high end fashion brands, and some of that stuff even comes from Marc’s own moms

Alyssa and Penny don’t outright say Marc should be like Marinette, but they’re more like, “Sweetie, why don’t you spend some time with Marinette?” And that’s code for, “Why can’t you be perfect like your cousin?!”

Sabine and Tom, though? They will take the opportunity to brag about Marinette’s accomplishments for twenty minutes then finally remember Marc’s in the room and ask his moms what he’s done lately

They have no idea about the awards he’s received in school for his stories, and he doesn’t mind keeping it that way. All of his certificates are just sitting in a folder in his hoodie drawer

It’s due to his treatment, that Marc’s wardrobe is toned down a bit. And by that, I mean he looks like his concept art-self

He secretly enters writing contests, and has been doing so and winning since he was ten. He’s earned a lot of money and keeps it saved up because if he tells anyone in the family about it, they’re definitely gonna use it to spoil Marinette. The only person he can really trust in Kiran, and occasionally treats him to ice cream

Marinette wants nothing to do with him. She always says she asks Marc to hang out with her, but he keeps declining. I’m reality, she doesn’t want a “Total weirdo” anywhere near her friends. And she lets him know it, too, but he couldn’t care less. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near a bunch of people who are probably psychos like her

He’s seen the way she acts around boys she likes, sniffing their hair, taking pictures of them, even following one guy home. It hasn’t escalated past that, but at least he’s not a part of it

However, his family doesn’t notice that about “perfect little Marinette”. He gets reprimanded for not being sociable like her and laughed off for having crushes because who would ever date someone like him?

Then he gets sent to therapy for his “issues” as Marinette so helpfully pointed out. There, he lays in to her that she can’t get a single question in

Marc: Oh! And then that bitch cut off my bangs while I was sleeping, and I got in trouble for playing with scissors! I mean- Oh, is our session over? Thanks again, Lisa. You are just wonderful for letting me vent. See you next Wednesday. *Leaves the room*

Lisa: … Damn, that boy’s cousin sucks.

In DuPont, everyone knows they’re cousins thanks to Marinette just so more people can compare Marc to his “perfect cousin”

Marinette has instant popularity she bought with custom clothing, her high-end connections, and Marc has his writing under the stairs while Lila quietly reads… Only for that to be interrupted when Marinette drags him out and into the art classroom one day where a few of her friends are gathered

They’re a little disturbed by her “psycho burnout cousin” being in the same room as them. Apparently, Marinette started a few rumors about Marc taking unprescribed drugs along with the ones for his “mental problems” just to make herself look better by comparison

Marc: … Well, that explains why moms keep searching my room for something.

Ignoring that, Marinette let’s him in on why he brought him in here- To help her with her plan to get Adrien to be her boyfriend by making a comic with Nathaniel that will map out the perfect date between them, which will eventually lead to marriage, having three perfect children, a hamster, and then dying together in a couples coffin

Marc: No.

Akuma Class: What?!/She’s your cousin!/You’ve gotta help her!/Don’t you want her to be happy?!

Marc: I am not obligated to help her, I know none of you, nor do I know this boy she is suddenly so infatuated with. So, pardon me if I sound rude, but leave me the fuck alone. All of you. I know how her fan club get when she is told no.

For context, Marinette’s “friends” will do anything to make her happy. Even bully those who are the slightest bit mean to her or show an interest in Adrien. Like Lila

Lila was the new girl who had no idea what she’d be getting herself into. After her Akumatization into Volpina when Ladybug called her a skeeze in front of Adrien, she was made an outcast by Marinette and eventually adopted by Marc

Now she swears to protect him with her life. On with the rest of the story!

The next day, Marc has his books slapped out of his hand, his glasses snatched, and he gets tripped on his way to class. All by some members of Marinette’s sychophant club

Some jocks who always leave stuff for Marinette on Valentines Day corner him in the locker room, but before they can do anything, some redhead walks in and tells them Marinette needs help with her books, and they’re gone in two seconds

Marc almost thanks the guy until he recognizes him as Nathaniel. Along with him is Lila. Before he can storm off, Lila stops him and asks Marc to hear him out

Nathaniel: Uh… Thanks.

Marc: For what?

Nathaniel: … *Lila nudges him* … For getting me out of that. I didn’t even want to make the stupid comic, but Marinette’s family bakery is more popular than my mom’s diner. She threatened to get her fan club to leave bad reviews and get her shut down if I didn’t help…

Marc: … You, uh… You guys wanna hang out… Away from here?

They skip school and not to their surprise, no one notices except for Nathaniel’s mom, Mme. Mendeleiev, and to Marc’s surprise, his classmates

They sort of stay out of the loop when it comes to Marinette, and the reason they don’t talk to him is because they didn’t want to make him uncomfortable since he always seems to close off when someone attempts to make conversation

Because Nathaniel hangs out with Marc and Lila, this turns him into more of an outcast. Oh, but don’t worry, because Chloé owes Marc a favor for something she won’t reveal, she gets her dad to leave a glowing review for Aya’s diner and boosts sales

Then there’s that whole shitstorm on the anniversary of Adrien’s mom’s disappearance. Marc (Who was dragged along), Nathaniel, Lila, and the surprising addition of Luka actually overhear Marinette’s totally insensitive and inappropriate confession to Adrien on what is supoosed to be a day of mourning, and Max sends the messages off before they can stop him

Then “Adrien” arrives. When it seems like he’s about to accept Marinette’s feelings… He tears into her, calling her all sorts of names

Lila just had to record it all for whenever she needs something to make her smile or laugh. But, when another Adrien arrives, it turns out “Adrien” is actually Félix, Adrien’s cousin

Marc: Which one do you guys think is the asshole cousin?

Nathaniel: Well, I like Félix, and Adrien seems too nice.

Lila: … Let’s keep Félix.

Luka: Yeah.

After some sychophant Akumas try and kill Félix to defend Marinette’s honor and after Ladybug puts on a show of being this angelic savior while Chat Noir is just her sidekick who does all the work, the Akumas are eventually defeated

Marc catches up with Félix and… Hugs him

Marc: You are truly the greatest human being on this godawful planet!

Félix: Uh… Thank you?

Marc: I’m serious! Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to tear into that girl? She needs to be taken down a hundred pegs, and because of you, some people are beginning to doubt her intentions with Adrien. If I weren’t in love with Nathaniel, I’d kiss you

Félix: Please don’t. I’m asexual.

Marc: Noted.

Félix: And I’ve decided to stay in Paris for a while, anyway. Someone’s gotta keep my moron cousin from walking into traffic, and it seems like you’re in need of friends

Marc notices a slight change in the school the following week. For one, a few people, namely his classmates are giving Marinette the stink eye whenever they can

As for the Science Kids, while they were appreciative of the nice clothes they got on their birthdays even though they weren’t in their style, they were never really fond of Marinette

Plus, a ton of bad reviews were left on Aurore’s Akuma Analysis blog and she has the suspicion it was started by Marinette to boost traffic for Alya’s Ladyblog

Reshma had a hard time making friends because Marinette convinced people she was just another Chloé (Someone Marc is considered adopting)

Simon was in the same boat as Marc once. Marinette saw his videos and “asked” him to get some footage of a boy she liked for “personal reasons”

And they never went to anyone about their treatment, because who’d believe them over Marinette? So, they were a class of outcasts no one ever wanted to be associated with

Also, Félix is in their class and gives everyone the latest information on every creepy thing Marinette does when Adrien doesn’t notice. Nathaniel and Lila would switch, but that would be like letting Marinette win

Now onto Reverser

Marc has a particularly bad week. He’s forced to go to dinner with the Dupain-Chengs just so they can brag about Marinette being asked to design an outfit for Clara Nightingale while Marc’s moms embarrassingly admit that Marc made a few friends

Marinette and her gang, for the hundredth time, badger Marc into making the Adrinette comic with Nathaniel, and go so far as to drag him to the art classroom where Nathaniel is, and where Marinette is banned due to her toxicity

Marc and Nathaniel are making a comic, but about Chat Noir, painting him in a positive light due to Ladybug soaking up all the glory. And Félix and Lila so helpfully point out that they should turn Marinette into a villain in their next issue… And they do, but only give copies to their inner circle

When he gets home, he finds a check in his mail as an award for another writing contest he entered and goes to put it with the rest… Which is not there

His moms aren’t home, Kiran would never, and the only other person with a key is… Marinette! And his suspicions are proven right the next day when he sees her in a VERY expensive outfit, and she just gives him this look

Well… He lets her have it

Marc: MARINETTE! Your pigtails are MINE! *Tackles her to the floor*

Lila: Yes! It’s finally happening!

*Marinette puts up a fight, but Marc has so much repressed anger and doesn’t hold back*

Marc: Take a bite of my Doc Martens, bitch! *Roundhosue kicks Marinette*

Marinette: Someone stop him! He’s a fucking psycho!

Félix: Shut up. Fuck you. Eat shit.

Marc: *Denise and Jean pull him away* You want some more, huh?! SCREW YOU! And screw these assholes, too! I HATE YOU, MARINETTE! I FUCKING HATE IT HERE! *Runs away crying*

Nathaniel, Chloé, Lila, and Félix try to call him back, but it’s a little hard to hear over everyone calling Marc a “Demon” and all sorts of cruel names. Cue the Akuma

Okay, so it’s not Reverser. Imagine the Grimm Reaper going through a punk phase, his scythe causes the worst parts of people to be revealed when they’re slashed by it, and he’s got Oni-Chan’s teleportation powers

Nathaniel, Chloé, Félix, and Lila attempt to stop him from killing Marinette and only giving her more to use against him, but he only promises them that “Things will finally change,” then leaves in a dramatic cloud of black smoke

Nathniel: Do we want him not to kill Marinette?

Lila: … Wow, you think of something for so long, and then it happens. I gotta sit down for a bit.

Félix: Get up and help us stop Nath’s boyfriend.

Nathaniel: What?! I- No! What? No!

Chloé: Relax, Kurtzberg. We know you’re crazy about him. You can kiss him after this is over. Now let’s help Chat Noir

Marinette can’t find a place to transform due to Marc always finding her, and while she would love to take a “much needed rest” for protecting Paris and let her “lazy partner” finally have to work, she can’t!

To her shock and anger, four heroes arrive on the scene. Vulpix, Queen Bee, CapriKid, Bomb Shell. Well, she’s not letting them get all the credit and goes after Marc herself. Finally, and excuse to hurt him… But he’s a lot stronger than she expected, and only succeeds in creating a crater in the road when she lands

Bomb Shell: *Watching Akuma!Marc bashing Ladybug’s head against a car window* … Should we help?

CapriKid: Nah, he’s got this.

Bomb Shell: I meant Ladybug.

CapriKid: Oh… Later.

Marc finally slashes Ladybug and all of the worst parts about her are revealed live, not by Alya, but by the heroes using their weapon phones, with the addition of Simon and Aurore. And… It’s a lot

When Marc is cured, Ladybug goes to reprimand him and force him to apologize like she does with all Akuma victims, but Bomb Shell threatens to slice her head off with her shield

Bomb Shell: Remember me, skeeze? *Whispers* I will find you, and I will break you.

The heroes, Aurore, and Simon waste no time posting what they recorded, and many Akuma victims step forward about Ladybug’s treatment. Even local law enforcement is suffering from pay cuts becuase of Ladybug insisting that she and Chat Noir get paid for their work. Chat Noir never knew about the cuts and donates his checks to the officers

Now there’s a active campaign against Ladybug, started by people who have a vendetta against Ladybug due to her poor treatment of Akuma victims after the Miracle Cure. Akuma class students who are most active in the campaign are Chloé and Nathaniel while a few are still on the fence

She claims Akuma victims need to be reprimanded for their actions and not coddled just because they can’t keep their emotions in check

Well, let’s just say therapists aren’t on her side

Everywhere she goes, Ladybug is jeered while Chat Noir finally gets the praise he deserves. They only keep her around and don’t try to steal her Miraculous becuase she reverses all of the damage

But while Ladybug is losing her status, Marinette still remains popular and uses her influence as a designer for celebrities to publicly denounce Ladybug Haters, but that doesn’t deter them

Oh, and Marc was suspended for a week after attacking Marinette, but he doesn’t give two flying fucks. Now he’s got a reputation as a badass who will go off on anyone who looks at him funny, and it keeps the Marinette Worshippers away. Also, his friends and Kiran are the only ones to believe him about the money, so that’s another thing to add to the list on why they hate Marinette

And Cue Zoé! She arrives in the middle of the semester like Lila instead of near the end of the year

Zoé is almost dragged into an Adrinette plan involving them getting stuck in an elevator, but she knows all about Marinette due Chloé’s long rants about her at home, so she keeps her distance and becomes an outcast. The only reason she’s not being actively bullied is because of Chloé threatening to get the mayor involved

Zoé never cared for Marinette, but she comes to hate her, because what person just does that bullshit to their own cousin? When Marinette tries to start another rumor about Marc taking antipsychotic drugs, she comes at her with, “Don’t you think it’s rude to expose people’s medical history?”

Now, you might be thinking. “Where does Adrien stand in all of this?”

Well, you see… Adrien is just so confused. DuPont seemed great at first, and his classmates were all so nice to him, especially Marinette. It’s too bad she’s so shy around him. Now things just keep shifting around. The girls are so secretive around him, Félix insulted Marinette for no reason, the guys don’t hang out with Nathaniel anymore, and Lila… He’s not entirely sure

And Marinette always lets him know who it’s safe to hang out with... But the list keeps growing. For example, Nathaniel has anger issues so it’s best not to talk to him, Lila is a serial liar who was kicked out of her school for causing a girl to commit suicide, Marc is… It’s best to just not to go anywhere near him, Zoé got expelled from her last school for excessive bullying, and to his surprise, Félix is on the list. He gets Félix pulled that stunt on her, but he’s his cousin!

Something’s not right. Well, at least he’s getting praised as a superhero for once, not that he ever asked for it. But, it’s nice to be appreciated by people

Though, he can’t help but wonder why Marc attacked Marinette all of a sudden… So, he asks

Marc: Because my cousin’s a lying, thieving, no good son-of-a-bitch who never should have been conceived and should crawl back into the darkest pits of hell like the Satan spawn she is!

Lila: Hey! Satan happens to have lovely children.

Nathaniel: You would know.

Lila: Oh, you hush.

Marc: Anyway, Marc Anciel, Marinette’s unfortunate cousin. Nice to meet you. Are you a sychophant, bystander, or outcast?

Félix: Trust me. He’s a bystander. You see, my dear sweet innocent cousin sees the chaos happening around him and knows it’s bad, but is afraid to do anything.

Adrien: That’s not true!

Lila: Ladybug called me a skeeze in front of you.

Adrien: … Okay, maybe I am a bystander.

Nathaniel: Not necessarily. Marinette just knows how to keep the worst part of herself hidden so people will like her and go along with whatever she says. At least you’re aware that something’s off. Anyway, we’ll help you.

Marc: Nope! First, he has to help us. And for that to happen, Félix, show him the video.

Adrien: What video?

Félix shows Adrien the confession video Marinette sent him on the anniversary, and it goes as well as you’d expect

So now, Adrien wants nothing to do with Marinette, especially after the outcasts gave him some hard evidence of Marinette being a stalker, and Marc even put him in touch with some of Marinette’s past obsessions so he can know just the kind of person she is

Marinette is NOT happy and confronts Marc in the locker room one day

Marinette: What the hell did you do this time, you freak?!

Marc: What are you gonna do, beat me up? Look how well that went last time, jackass.

Marinette: Because of you, Adrien hates me! Why are you so hell bent on ruining my life?!

Marc: That is so RICH coming from you! The second you were born, your life’s ambition was to make my life hell! Because of you I had no friends growing up, my moms and all your little sycophants think I have a drug problem, I’m in therapy for problems I don’t have!

Marinette: And who the hell would believe some pathetic loner?! Face it! Your only purpose in life is to be compared to me! The physical embodiment of perfection itself! You are nothing! No one would even know your name if I weren’t born! Hell, it’s not like they bother to remember anyway! Even your own moms love me more than you and your sad sack of a brother-

Marc: *Death glare* Leave Kiran’s name out of your fucking mouth. Go on. Try me, bitch.

Marinette: You- you think you can threaten me?! I have all the power over these pathetic losers! Just like you, they are nothing and would have nothing without me! All of them are nothing but pathetic sheep riding my coattails! Why?! Because I gave them those coattails in the first place! I gave them some form of hope to grab onto, a shred of hope that they would get to bask in my glory if they just did every damn thing I said and kept them happy, but once I am out of here, they will have NOTHING! They can’t even do something so simple as to make Adrien MINE!

Marc: You do realize he’s not an object, right?

Marinette: I don’t care! He’s perfection! I’m perfection! I deserve him! He should be modeling my clothes, worshipping and groveling at my feet for my love like every idiot boy in school! And once I marry him, the Gabriel brand will be in my grasp, I will take the fashion world by storm, and you and that little boy toy of yours will be doing favors just for a scrap of cash before dying in an alley somewhere! As if you ever think your writing career is gonna take off! Those contests you entered? They obviously have low standards! Thanks for the cash, though and for giving these idiots another reason to hate you and adore me. *Leaves*

Lila: *Exits the girl’s bathroom with Chloé* Wow. That was intense.

*Félix, Nathaniel, and Adrien walk out of the boy’s bathroom*

Nathaniel: Simon? Did you get all of that? *Opens a locker to reveal Simon with a tape recorder*

Simon: Every last word.

Félix: Man, it’s a good thing you fit comfortably in a locker.

Simon: There’s a pencil stuck to my ass. Does that sound comfortable?

The following week, Marinette finds herself on the receiving end of some dirty looks and makes a mental note to get her idiot classmates to do something about those losers

But when she goes crying to them, Kim slaps her across the face

Nino: Jesus, Kim! She’s a girl!

Kim: … Screw gender rolls.

Nino: … Okay, that’s fine.

When she recovers, Max plays Simon’s recording, but Marinette is still trying to save face

Marinette: Who are you gonna believe?! My psycho of a cousin, or your best friend?!

Max: I’ll believe and ax-wielding murderer over you. And I’m done doing your dirty work just so you’ll keep quiet. Everyone! I am a proud homosexual, and I am in love with my best friend!

Rose: I have a severe medical condition and I didn’t want any of you to pity me or treat me like glass!

The Akuma class all come out and share the secrets Marinette blackmailed them with unless they did exactly as she said

And as for Adrien, he hits Marinette with a restraining order and yells at her to stay YARDS away from him at all times

Lila: Oh, she’s violating the restraining order right now. Off to jail!

Marinette: Shut up, Lila! Adrien, you don’t know what you’re saying! You’re supposed to be my boyfriend!

Adrien: Why? So you can have my dad’s company? You’re either desperate or stupid. I have no interest in inheriting the brand and plan to go into child psychology, so even if I were to go crazy and fall in love with you, you wouldn’t be anywhere near Gabriel.

Marinette: You all… Arr going to be SORRY! Tikki! Spots on!

Marinette transforms and is about to take off with Adrien, but a familiar Doc Marten boot hits the side of her head and knocks her out so that Marc can snatch the earrings off of Ladybug

Marc: … I’m fucking serious, guys, I had no clue about this.

And to make matters better, the police arrive to take Marinette in for questioning about her stalking, but as she’s being shoved into the police car, she actually grabs for an Akuma

So now, Paris will face the wrath of La Dictator

Zoé: We… Are so fucking boned, you guys.

Not necessarily. Chat Noir gathers the Miraculous and brings back Vulpix, Bomb Shell, CapriKid, and Queen Bee. And Calamity, Viperion, and Mariquita make their debuts

While La Dictator is smiting and punishing everyone who went against her, Calamity is getting survivors out of Paris with her portals so the team can take care of her without anyone else getting hurt

The battle lasts well into the evening, but they win, and Marinette is arrested becuase EVERYONE saw her reach for the Akuma

Bomb Shell: … *Giggles* Oh my God! We’re still alive! We’re alive, you guys!

CapriKid: We fucking lived! *Kisses Mariquita*

Vulpix: Yeah! Get your boy!

Things are… Somewhat normal after Marinette’s sentencing. For one, his moms apologize for how they’ve treated him, but he can’t find it in his heart to forgive them just now

The Akuma class and everyone Marinette has blackmailed are getting some serious therapy and make it a goal to make up for their treatment of others due to Marinette’s influence

And there are several permanent heroes now, that’s good. Lord knows Paris needs them, and… Oh yeah! Marc and Nathaniel are dating

Adrien found comfort in Luka and they began dating. Zoé’s dating Cosette. Félix is dating the library. Lila’s been learning how to skateboard from Ismael, and Chloé had her lesbian awakening when she met Kagami

[aspenicus-is-learning]

This is my late night trick or treat 🎃 do you have any fun ocsar fics to share with us? Definitely never trick or treated here before 🥸

hmmm i think i've seen this costume before... but it's the end of the night and i'm a nice old hag, so here, have some more candy

Oscar! i love oscar. i have no idea what to do with oscar.

my dream is to write some really toxic oscarmark + seb being RANCID. but i'm not yet at a point in my writing where i feel that i can comfortably portray truly bad relationships in a way that feels... right? idk i want to do it justice. like the pullpin fic is like. they're really not good for each other and to each other but both of them are not bad people, really, they're just bad together at this specific time in their lives. but if i were ever to write oscarmark mark would fully be a villain, and it's hard to make someone a truly bad person while still both writing from their pov and having other characters (especially a character as reasonable as oscar) still love them and still think of them as not entirely bad or even good. i think one day i will have the inspiration and skill to do it, but for now, alas, loscar and landoscar must suffice.

but oh. urgggg. they'd be so bad.

otherwise, i have a little oscar fic for you that i also posted here for osctober. it's kind of the shitty candy at the bottom of the bucket, so to speak, but here it is.

the way i format on ao3 is different from how i format in google docs, which is where i have copied previous snippets from, so i'm sorry if it's a little off

Oscar isn't cursed. He doesn't believe in things like that.

Just. Unlucky. 

Unlucky, when he's 12 and his kart's bolts loosen, just a little bit, as he's about to cross the finish line in first.

Unlucky, when he's 1 and a half and his crib breaks under him, and he falls to the cushioned mattress.

Unlucky, when he's 6 and his little locker at school rusts shut in the night.

Unlucky, when he's 9 and his bike breaks under him.

Unlucky, when he's 4 and every light bulb in his bedroom shatters at once.

Unlucky, when he's 16 and a book he's reading comes unbound as he opens it.

Unlucky, when he's 3 and his high chair falls apart when he's placed in it.

Unlucky, when, on the night of his birth, the hospital loses power inexplicably.

And now, just unlucky, when he's 23 and the front wing of his car slides under him, sending him into the barriers and out of consciousness. 

++++

Oscar isn't so much awake as he is aware.

Aware of the metal around him, a cage and a safety net all in one. The halo has saved his life, he distantly realizes. But he's upside down and up against the barriers and the earth.

He thought that the- the unluckiness was gone.

When he'd won FRECA, most of the more... Conspicuous unlucky occurrences had gone away. There had still been all the other small things: any hot drink was always cold, every pen he picked up was spotty and nearly dry, but only in his hands, his shoes came untied within 10 minutes of him tying them, and a hundred other little things that were inconvenient, but never as dangerous as they had been before.

Not like this.

Because with Oscar, mechanical malfunctions were never something explicable. There was no reason that the front wing could have detached in that way, could have slipped under the car as it did. 

His unluckiness was always at the root of it. Mechanics who worked with him for large amounts of time learned that there was no way to anticipate the little issues that Oscar caused. They came, and they had to be fixed, and there was no real way to prevent them. 

This is different. 

When he was 4 and the light bulbs shattered, he was injured. But it would never have killed him. When he was 9 and his bike fell apart as he rode it, he'd only bumped his head and skinned a knee. They were not things that would have ended his life, ever.

But now?

Oscar can feel the blood trickling down his arms, coming from his shoulder. 

He breathes out. 

++++

Oscar wakes up, truly this time, to a hospital room.

The beeping of the machines around him is the first thing he registers, and then the cold white light, and finally the three slumped figures in the corner, sharing two chairs pressed close to make a bench sort of thing. 

One of them, the one Oscar realizes is Logan, seems to be the only one awake. 

He wants to call out, but finds his throat is dry and anyway, he might want a little bit more peace before everyone is worrying over him. Oscar shifts a bit, and pain shoots through his shoulder. But only his shoulder. Small mercy. No pain in his hands, and he clenches them a bit to check for bandages, finding none. He can still drive then, when he gets out of here. 

Logan's head jerks up as the blankets over Oscar rustle, and his face goes first to relief and then to... Anger?

He gets up from where he's sat, jostling the other two a bit, but not enough to wake them, who Oscar can now tell are Lando and... Lewis? Before he can ponder why the 7-time world champion is here in his hospital room, Logan bursts out. "When were you going to tell us you were cursed?!"

Oscar wants to respond, wants to say I'm not cursed and Curses aren't real, what the fuck are you talking about, but he's just a bit overwhelmed by all of this, and the pain and the bright light above. 

Thankfully, Logan seems to realize this and lowers his voice. What he says next still doesn't make any sense, but it's something. "You can't be racing with a curse, Oscar. It's even worse than racing with a broken rib, which you also shouldn't have done, but Oscar..."

Oscar finally speaks, his voice scratchy and thin. "I didn't- Logan, I'm not cursed. I've always been... Unlucky."

"Always?!? Oscar, why haven't you seen a Practitioner? This isn't... It's just a little curse, it's not a life-bind or something strong like that. It's easy to break. Hell, I could break it with some guidance." Literally none of what Logan is telling him makes any sense to Oscar. He isn't cursed. Curses aren't real. And did Logan say he could break it?

"Logan... What do you mean? Curses aren't real," Oscar says, his voice getting stronger as he speaks more. 

Logan stares at him a bit, dumbfounded. At this point, Lewis and Lando have blinked their eyes open, and Lewis gets up and walks to stand by Logan. 

"Oscar... Are you not a witch?" Lewis stares at him a bit, and Lando straightens up in the corner. 

What the fuck is all Oscar can think. "Of course I'm not a witch, witches aren't real."

Lando laughs a bit, from his perch in the corner. "Then what's this, Osc?" He asks, snapping his fingers. The lights go out, just for a moment, until Lando snaps again and they come back on. 

Oscar really doesn't have a response for that. 

While he thinks on how to rationalize this whole situation, Lewis sighs and says. "Let's talk in the hallway."

Okay then. 

He isn't cursed. He isn't. Curses aren't real. 

He's just unlucky. Inexplicably unlucky. Constantly unlucky. Has been all his life. 

It wasn't a curse. It was just how Oscar was.

At least, that is what he has to believe. If that isn't true, then what in his world is? If he is cursed, then did he ever sign his contract with McLaren? If he is cursed, then is any of this real? Is he a Formula 1 driver? 

Before Oscar can follow that logic path anymore, Lewis re-enters the room. Only Lewis though, which seems suspicious to Oscar's mind. 

"So, Oscar," Lewis begins with a tone like someone telling their child that Santa isn't real. "You aren't a witch?"

"No," Oscar says with as much finality as he can muster. Because he's pretty sure he'd know if he was. 

Lewis looks at him for a bit, and Oscar can't help but shift under his gaze. When he speaks again, it is with a placating tone. "Oscar, every Formula 1 driver is a witch. It's always been this way. Normal people... You need a certain amount of luck. A certain kind of luck." The to survive goes unspoken, and Oscar hears it.

"I'm not a witch, Lewis, witches aren't real," Oscar is kind of pleading now, if he admits it to himself. Pleading for this to all be a joke or a dream. 

He sighs. "Oscar, even if you aren't a witch, you are cursed. And that is unforgivably dangerous. And very easy to fix," Lewis pauses a bit. Oscar knows there's a catch. "But you do need to be willing. I can fix it right now, if you let me."

"I am not cursed." Oscar tries again, mostly losing his fight. 

"You need to believe you are to be cured of it," Lewis explains. 

Oscar looks at him. He decides that if this is a dream, he might as well play into it and hope he wakes up. If it's real... "Fine."

++++

It is a few days later when Oscar truly realizes it. 

Logan and Lando bring him coffee. 

Hot coffee. 

It burns his tongue, but in a way that Oscar knows is not just his luck. 

"Oh," He says out loud, a bit in wonder of it all. 

"Yeah, Osc, oh," Lando says, looking at him fondly. Logan snorts.