#Parent Valentino

[jalicecookie]

No Scissors Deals

"Valentino! You don't make any deals with the Toddler, when it comes to playing with Scissors! And don't let her cute behavior, wrap you around your little finger!" - you hear the voice of your Daddy Vox from across the Room, but don't look over towards him. Very carefully, your little fingers want to reach for the gold chain, that your Papito Valentino is wearing around his neck, while you reiterate your request , to finally be allowed to play with the scissors and Valentino's cherry-pink eyes just flash with amusement.

Curious, you took a few clumsy steps closer to the high shelf with the many compartments.

Velvette's spacious office was already deserted at this late hour.

The employees of the social media-focused Velvette had gone home.

The fashion icon from hell was editing one of the her videos on her laptop , because it needed special settings and at that very moment both Valentino and you could hear Velvette hissing at Vox from her small private office, that he should turn down the damn firewall,  to further boost  towards her already good online reach.

Vox had told Valentino to keep an eye on you ,while he took care of Velvette's problem. And since Valentino himself was on his cell phone and was obviously sending a few voice messages to Angel Dust, you really wanted to take a look at the large shelf.

It wasn't the first time you had been in Velvette's work office.

Sometimes it could be pretty stressful and hectic here.

But that didn't bother you, whenever Velvette was given the babysitting task, she let you have plenty of tablet and cell phone video time, when she wasn't busy dressing you up like a doll and needing you to plan a mini fashion line for the stylish demon toddler.

"Oh there! Scissors!" you said quietly as you stopped in front of the large white meter-high shelf that stretched up to the ceiling and your devilish eyes flashed with joy , when you saw a pair of scissors there.

It was a pretty pair of scissors with pink hearts and dark blue handles as a design.

Oh, you really wanted to hold these beautiful scissors in your hands and play with them!

And pretend you were a great fashion queen, like Velvette was.

Sometimes you try to imitate different members of your Vee family.

One time, before going to bed, you ran excitedly to Velvette with the Vox electric toothbrush and whispered to her that you can now talk to the toothbrush like Daddy because Daddy can talk to the television.

And if you play with the scissors, you'll definitely be able to help Velvette a lot!

You made your decision, you first tried to stretch your hands up as high as you could... but the scissors were on two shelves above you. Too far to be able to reach for them easily.

Next you try to climb up the shelf...which only works to a limited extent, because not even after 3 seconds you slip and land on the floor with a loud thud and an old vase knocked over on impact.

Valentino, who felt disturbed in his voice message and was about to shout , annoyed that this noise was really shit in timing and should be quiet, turned around and was with you,  within a few moments, picking you up from the floor with one of his two pairs of arms and looking at you with concern.

"What happened baby? You know Velvette hates it,  when one of those ugly vases breaks?" , said Valentino with a hardly regretful look at the fragments of the vase. None of which - thank Lucifer - hit you.

You sniffed once, startled by the impact on the floor and dissatisfaction at not having the scissors yet.

Valentino stroked your hair soothingly , before he moved a few steps away from you and sent another voice message to Angel.

The recording time was shorter than before and so you were able to express your wish as soon, as Valentino put the phone back in his pocket.

"Scissors! Wanna! Play! Papito, scissors? Climb, no, no....ouchie....scissors?", you said and pointed to the large shelf with your left hand.

Valentino followed the hand gesture with a quick glance ,before gently examining you through the heart-shaped lenses of his glasses.

"Naaaw Papito's little princess wanted the scissors to play with,  and fell down while climbing?" -  Valentino cooed with obvious amusement.

"Yes! Help Papito? Please, please", you said and bounced up and down in the Overlord's arms.

Valentino just shook his head no with little interest and thought you already had enough toys.

Toys that were often dragged from your room to the living room and that he had to run in zigzags to get a new coffee. Scissors like that were really nothing special.

"Eat Veggies like  good girl... like a big kid... don't cry ...   yes scissors?" - you replied hopefully. Proposing a deal was easy. Even though your fathers always had their own rules, it was no secret that you really cried a lot when you ate certain vegetables and refused to try even a small bite.

"So you want to eat your vegetables and not cause a drama, hm? And in return I should give you these scissors to play with?", repeated Valentino and didn't seem to be averse to the idea.

"Oh, there are actually several scissors. It seems to be your lucky day, baby. There's still blood on one of them...ah! That must be my attack , after my last author for the films quit!", said Valentino and eyed one of the scissors that still had blood on it with an annoyed expression on his face. That bitch deserved that!

You clap your hands once and nod eagerly, not because you understood Valentino's last words, but because there are apparently several pairs of scissors...oh, you can then help Velvette diligently!

"Valentino! You don't make any deals with the Toddler, when it comes to playing with Scissors! And don't let her cute behavior, wrap you around your little finger!" - you hear the voice of your Daddy Vox from across the Room, but don't look over towards him.

Very carefully, your little fingers want to reach for the gold chain, that your Papito Valentino is wearing around his neck, while you reiterate your request , to finally be allowed to play with the scissors and Valentino's cherry-pink eyes just flash with amusement.

"Scissors? Pretty please?", -  you wanted to touch the glittering gold of the chain, but Valentino playfully grabbed yours hands with his other two hands to stop you.

"Hmmmm.....if I contradict Voxxy now, Papito won't get any of his ´toys´ later, and Papitio would be very sad because of this" -  said Valentino with a grin. His gold tooth flashed once.

And you were still far too young and small to understand , the allusion and the real meaning that it was never about toys,  that Vox was withholding from Valentino, but something completely different.

An impatient whimper escaped you as you snuggled closer to Valentino's upper body and asked sadly for the scissors once more.

"Wanna help.....Velvette! Scissors! PLEASE!", you whimpered and Valentino smiled at your cuteness.

"No need to burst into tears...besides, Daddy Voxxy didn't say anything about the scissors in our kitchen, Princess",  Valentino said soothingly.

"VAL!"

While you were calming down with the cuddles Valentino gave you, Vox seemed to have heard the part about the scissors in the kitchen,  and reminded his partner , that the rule applied to all scissors in the V-Tower.

"But she wants to help Velvette, Voxxy! And eat her Veggies from now on like a good Girl"  - Valentino defended his affection for the deal with the vegetables.

"It will definitely work without Scissors. I'll say it for the last time, Valentino. No scissors DEALS!"

THE END

Ao3

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I know Robbie is supposed to be one of those edgy ass losers who constantly talk about how fucked up they are in the head despite having a completely normal homelife, but like... Idk man, he lives in a graveyard with parents who use glass caskets WITH BODIES INSIDE for tables, casually call him by his full legal name when they aren't even mad for some fucking reason, and are just kinda. Scary in general. I think he kinda has a right to be Like That, y'know? Obviously I'm not trying to excuse him being a douche or whatever(seriously who the fuck beefs with a 12 year old because the kid has a crush on their girlfriend?), but I think a lot of his personality makes much more sense when you look at him through the lense of "this is a 16 year old who was raised in a relatively isolated and scary part of town, with parents who do not treat serious things like death with the gravity those subjects deserve". Nobody that was raised in that kind of environment is gonna turn out well adjusted are you kidding me!?

[ray935sworld]

You think Cele/ Pecco/ Bez ever called Vale to tell him he can't make it to the ranch the weekend cause their parents can't drive them (can't take public transport cause equipment) and on Friday Vale shows up at their school with the other academy kids he already picked up and is like

[mother-ofthe-universedraws]

He meant what he said.

Stan signs Simon up for school when he’s about six years old. Simon then proceeds to skip to the fourth grade, because he’s got Bill levels of genius.

When thinking about giving Simon a friend, I figured that Robbie’s parents were absolutely perfect for the kid. I mean, come on. There’s literally nobody better.

(I know that technically Greg Valentino was supposed to be a teenager in ATOS, but I’m changing it on the premise that I can do what I want)

[oatmealdaydreams]

Glad y'all are enjoying my silly little headcanons. Here's more!

-----

At some point, Ford & Stan reconnect with Shermie and it gets kinda messy with the fact that STAN is the one who faked his death and impersonated Ford for 30 yrs

Hearing about some vague implications of the trauma Stan went through during those 10 yrs on the streets has Ford's Protective Older Bro instincts go haywire (no exceptions)

Mabel & Dipper's parents finally meeting the real Stanford & Stanley as Stanley is a little bit awkward to say the least

Dipper has patches on their hat, made and sewn on by Mabel

Mabel still has Waddles at home during the school year & her parents have to deal with a little oinker in the middle of the divorce proceedings

Dipper finally makes their own friend who doesn't belittle them! An introvert win!!

Ford & Stan visit their Ma's grave one day with Shermie and tell her that both her boys are together again and doing relatively okay (and maybe that gives Caryn's ghost peace)

Dipper and Ford frequently play campaigns of DDMD together, sometimes with Soos or Wendy or a reluctant Stan

Stan secretly enjoys DDMD a little bit more than he lets on. this secret dies with him

Mabel makes a LOT of scrapbooks, especially ones that are titled "Stan Edition" to help him out with his memory issues and memory relapses

Turns out Tad Strange is very good with Sales & Advertising, so Soos hires him on to advertise the Mystery Shack (Stan approves)

Stan genuinely respects Tad's business skills & the two find common ground in salesman-related things

Someone makes an implicit transphobic comment about Dipper using they/them & Mabel fucking DECKS the offender (Stan is proud. Mabel is suspended for a few days)

One of the biggest adjustments for Stan during sailing with Ford was the fact that Ford was just as much a criminal as he is (*cough cough* wanted interdimensional criminal *cough cough*)

Ford seeing a bit of Stan in Wendy & not knowing how to feel about that

Wendy and Soos become pretty close as friends outside of work

The next summer that the twins visit, Dipper re-introduces themself to Wendy + Friends with they/them pronouns & they're all pretty chill about it

Robbie "I only wear black and bleeding hearts" Valentino discovers BABBA. this may or may not end with him bonding with Dipper over it. not that he'd admit to it

[muxas-world]

Evryting makes sanse abut luca and valentino onces you know that luca father is a psychologist and vale dad is an ex hippi rider

[keekeenuggets]

We don't talk enough about how well ALL of the Vees know and care about each other so much, like--

We first see them when Velvette is calling Vox about Val being upset in ep 2, but there's no way he would have asked for the help himself. Like he's not gonna be like "hey get Vox for me I need him" because that seems too vulnerable, BUT he was expecting Vox to come.

He literally says "Fuckin' finally!"

Which would either mean that Velvette told him Vox is on his way, OR Val knew Velvette would tell Vox to come. (It is possible he expected it because of the cameras, but Vox didn't seem to know Val was throwing a tantrum until Velvette called him, and Vox's plan for the day seemed to involve multiple meetings, so I don't think he watches the cameras often enough for that.)

Also Velvette knew how to calm Valentino down. She was busy with a fashion show and needed to focus on that, and she was mad that Val was wrecking her shit, but even after he was out of her hair and not a problem to her, she repeated to Vox that he needs to go take care of Val.

"Take care of the piss baby!"

I 100% believe she could have done it herself (she probably did partly?? considering he stopped the tantrum and was in his room before Vox got there-- unless her telling Val that Vox was on his way was what did it, but that would still be something she knew to do), but she had a show to run. Still, she wasn't going to leave Val alone to be moping around.

Also the fact Valentino seems to have some level of control over his smoke implies he wanted to be dramatic as fuck or wanted to hide himself and sat in a cloud of smoke on purpose.

Vox obviously knows how to talk Val out of shit, and canon makes it more clear that he understands Val well.

But overall there's obvious intimacy between all three of the Vees in that they care for each other and know exactly what's needed and/or what will happen in situations like that.

[onesidedradiostatic]

Subplot to the Parent Trap subplot where Valentino and Velvette both saw The Parent Trap when they were alive, but Val has only seen the original 1961 movie and Velvette has only seen the 1998 remake with Lindsay Lohan, so they keep getting into fights about the fine details of The Parent Trap because neither of them are aware of the other movie's existence.

As the Overlord of Television, Vox IS aware that there are two versions of The Parent Trap, but he's too busy trying to reenact the basic plot with Alastor to inform Velvette and Valentino that they're actually talking about two different movies

(reference to this ask)

this is making me lose my fucking shit because of how stupid it is. I've only seen the 1998 remake so I don't know what the differences are myself so I'm referring to this

they both keep wondering who the characters the other is referring to are. both think sharon and susan and hallie and annie are side characters they forgot about. it devolves into val saying he doesn't actually care about the movie because there wasn't enough sex in it and velvette screams at him "IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT A FAMILY OF COURSE THERE ISN'T FUCKING SEX IN IT" and then he says "it's about a divorced husband and wife who definitely fucked there should have been sex in it"

at the end of the day, vox comes home after trying and failing to parent trap with alastor (he ended up getting on lucifer's bad side for trying to adopt charlie too) only to see them arguing about fucking nothing. he tells them there's 2 versions of the movie. velvette ends up trying to win the argument against val by saying the 1998 one is probably newer and better than the 1961 version. val still doesn't care about the movie because it didn't have sex in it. vox says the 1998 version wouldn't exist without the 1961 version so the original should also be appreciated. velvette asks him if he thinks that way then why the fuck does he have beef with alastor (since radio is the "original" and precedes tv) then he loses his shit and says "THHAt'S DIFFeREnT" and val who knows everything that went down is giggling the background

[nose-nippin-fun]

The only thing that can keep Val calm and occupied is Vox.

Ya’ll, Valentino is a goddamn iPad kid.

[scrollonso]

one thing abt me is i will love seeing wags and riders/drivers covering their childrens faces

[when-gravity-has-fallen]

Background details/me blabbing about my askblog yaaay!! Mostly because it's difficult for me to get motivated as it is! Plus maybe after being inactive for 2 years (rip 💀) this will help pique interest? Idk I just wanna talk about my sillies tbh. And the Axolotl needs a break you know? My guy's watching over an entire multiverse.

First off. The post about my LGBTQIA+ headcanons here: https://www.tumblr.com/craycray-wolf/737090570384703488/while-in-wait-for-the-book-of-bill-already-hard?source=share

It's still accurate to how I feel about the characters...mostly. In the time since I made this post, I have since been converted to "Grunkle Stan is bi" and I'm now preaching the Good Word 🤟

Anyway with that now amended, here's some stuff!

I originally made the majority of the posts about where everyone is now back in 2022, when I intended to have the blog launched as part of the 10th anniversary of Gravity Falls airing.

Well clearly that didn't pan (🩷💛💙🍳) out but maybe it was so it could instead coincide with all the revelations from TBoB! Life is kinda a beautiful thing sometimes.

Anyway point being, I'll have to tweak the timeline a bit. Which is fine because I wanted Dippin Dots and Mabes to hold some jobs before college anyway so really my lack of updating is just an excuse for this. That's the major point I could think of but if I didn't properly consider others please sound off 📣 (yes I'm a cringe emoji user AND I'M PROUD)

Soos and Melody are still attempting to conceive because they want at least one bio child if they can but they're working on adoption.

Many assume Gus Burnside to be missing or worse dead. But maybe... he's still out there somewhere...with his physical body fulfilling a deal. But y'know! No one can say for certain!

To be completely honest I'm still figuring out my interpretation of Bill's backstory. Sorry about that.

Though the reason the Axolotl has contacted our dimension to begin with has to do with his concern...about a certain someone. And who better to give a helping hand than the fandom and the Zodiac?

Since Stan taught Wendy how to hot wire vehicles and whatnot, they one day found a fairly intact Harley motorcycle in the dump. They fix it up together and Stan declares it hers. This is where her Harley previously mentioned in other posts comes from.

When did this happen? I've always assumed the Stans come back to land from time to time, including some summers. So likely during summer but a holiday could work too!

Mabel loves being a passenger. Dipper not so much unless he clings tight. Wendy installs a seat back at some point and this helps ease his anxiety. A little. He likes seeing the scenery though so he'll bare through it if asked to ride. Not to mention he cares for Wendy and thus doesn't want to deny her sharing her joy.

Robbie probably figured out he wanted to be an anime artist while doodling in college classes he wasn't paying attention to. Either he was in generals or some other degree at this point. He only drew in private during high school.

THIS NEXT SECTION WILL BE SHIPS 🚨 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Pacifica during her high school/diner years thought she like liked Dipper. And well, she was Dipper's rebound crush so at around 15 or so they dated for a while. Pacifica however eventually realizes she's actually a lesbian and was misinterpreting her care for Dippin Dots, as well as thinking she only had so many options initially. Dipper realizes it was to cope with Wendy.

Therefore they cut off romantic ties on good terms and continue to be good friends.

(I have nothing against Dipcifica, it's cute. I'm just personally a Mabcifica person and enjoy my lesbian Pacifica hc)

In their early college years Mabel and Pacifica become girlfriends, LET'S GOOOOOO

Candy and Dipper have began to catch each other's eyes... they've healed from the events of Roadside Attraction in the years since and now they can have a healthier relationship in several ways. I WILL DIE FOR THIS SHIP OKAY

Fiddleford and Ford are sweet old man boyfriends. Though romance baffles Ford it makes enough sense with Fiddleford.

Stan is Stan. Though maybe all of his family coming out awakes something in him... something new to explore about himself...

Past Billford will likely be discussed at some point, though they haven't been a thing for decades and it was toxic to begin with.

Grenda and Marius are of course married ❤️ Candy, Mabel, and Pacifica were her bridesmaids. Mabel and Candy were piling over each other trying to get the bouquet, though Wendy catches it. Uninterested in marriage she throws it back out and reflexively Dipper catches it. After confused for a solid moment he tosses it and finally Pacifica then catches it.

_________

SHIP SECTION FINISHED ⚠️

The Pines Twins revisit Gravity Falls every summer until their high school graduation. Well *maybe* they go one more after graduation but then they have job schedules to contend with.

One of those summers (probably when the Mystery Twins are 15) their parents surprise them with a visit! But then they start to question everything because y'know. Weird town.

Eventually the truth comes out about everything, and they better understand their kids.

It wasn't the easiest summer but an important one.

They let their children return because they know how dearly they love their time there, albeit with ground rules established.

As for their jobs, Mabel was a barista and Dipper restocked shelves at a grocery store.

Dipper now has come to care for his birth name and birthmark. He still likes going by Dipper but he insists that only those close with him use the name. The only reason he still wears bangs is that his hairstyle is just comfortable and familiar. This also keeps his birthmark special as only some get to see it (in full).

Mabel still loves knitting and sweaters, but she's experimented a lot with fashion throughout the years. She now has more variety in her wardrobe than sweaters and skirts.

The twins live in dorms with a couple roommates and return back to their childhood home during holidays and summer. They intend to live in Gravity Falls once they get all their education/credentials.

Waddles is an old man but still kickin'. The parents were initially upset with his presence but were convinced by Stan to begrudgingly keep him. They grew to care for the piggy as well.

The family cat (Sniffles) has since passed :(

They have a dog (Honey) now though! She was a puppy from a dog Dipper once dogsat. The owners didn't realize said dog was preggo. It was a whole thing. Anyway Mabel loves putting her in cute outfits that match Waddles, something she used to do with Sniffles.

Mabel is a k-pop multistan (originating from Candy and Grenda introducing it to her) and absolutely loves drinking boba/jelly milk tea. Dipper likes the sound of k-pop music but isn't a fan the same way his sister is. He likes milk tea but the boba pearls themselves freak him the heck out.

There's a lot more but I'm blanking 🤪

[pierbiwierbi04]

Say Hi if you think I'm really cool and epic 😊

[speakofthedebbie]

manifesting lucifer adopting all the girls* in the hotel (also manifesting vals death but whats new)

*and angel

[nooripoori]

[ray935sworld]

"Awe, now all his boys are getting a little kiss"

ABOUT VALE HUGGING FRANKY, PECCO AND BEZ

[catherine-sketches]

Me: God I love Valentino’s design but he is such a pice of shit

My brain: don’t worry we have Good Valentino at home

The Good Valentino at home:

So I gave Valentino a nice twin! Meet Fabio everyone!!!

In hell because he did the straightest thing you can do: kill a man (several men actually), Fabio is also involved in the sex work industry but in the “small brothel that has medical insurance and strict consent rules where he keeps all of his workers hidden from the exterminations and Valentino and his bullshit”

He meets the Hazbin gang after the battle with the angels when the writing on the wall tells him the Val and his weird stalker tv boyfriend and their lesbian mean friend will start a power grab and turf war and he feels that his small safe brothel will not remain as such for long. So off to the hotel he goes with his 20 or so girls, guys and non-binary pals.

Angel nearly has a heart attack when he sees him at the door for obvious reasons