#Parasocial Relationships

[serioussideblog]

This is perhaps the best and most nuanced take on the subject of parasocial relationships. I do still want to add my own thoughts to this.

It’s normal to form parasocial relationships with people. It can be normal to be attracted to someone you don’t know, be that attraction aesthetic, platonic, romantic, or sexual. It’s normal to look up to someone who you see as inspirational in some way. And, yeah, if someone you looked up to, were attracted to in some way, cared about turns out to be someone who regularly does horrible things, it can feel bad, and it’s normal to feel bad about that.

But what you have to remember is that you don’t actually know these people. I’m not gonna tell you that you can’t call them by their first name or a nickname because in many cases that’s all they’re known by anyway and also there are other ways of setting your boundaries anyway. If you feel like calling a celebrity by their first name or by a nickname is not actually hurting your ability to discern reality then you do you. But there are other, bigger things you should do.

First, the thing about engaging in rational thinking? Legit. Works in all cases. You gotta challenge irrational thoughts about celebrities.

It’s okay to say things like “this person does so much cool stuff! I wish I were friends with them!” As long as you know that befriending a celebrity is relatively rare and that in all likelihood you will never meet this person. (I’ve technically befriended a few celebrities but most of them are only famous locally. And two of them are famous for bittersweet reasons - known for surviving things that almost killed them.)

If you find out that a celebrity you used to like has done something horrible, stop doing things that give them money as soon as you find out. Remember that you didn’t know what you didn’t know. But when you know better, do better.

Social media is awesome! Just remember that following someone online is not the same as knowing someone personally. You can stay up to date but once you start obsessing over their health status or refreshing the page every few seconds to find out if they’re coming to your city, it’s time for a break.

Parasociality is not a weird internet illness, it's normal human behaviour. It's part of how we organise ourselves in groups, where a leader has to hold emotional sway over the whole group, even though the whole group can't be close enough to them to form a true interpersonal bond.

So if you find yourself becoming attached to a public figure you don't know, it's not anything wrong with you. It is, however, an urge that can lead you astray, just as it could throughout history, when people would swear passionate fealty to faulty leaders who would lead them to disaster, or become embroiled in destructive cults.

Just moderate it. Use your head as well as your heart. Challenge your less rational thoughts, thoughts like "but they would NEVER do something like that" - you don't know what they would do, because you don't actually know them.

Restrain yourself from calling them by their first name or a nickname, as that encourages the illusion that you know them personally, and makes you more vulnerable to the pitfalls of parasociality.

Even if you do all this, it will still hurt if your hero falls. But it won't drive you to despair, or worse, to blindly saddling up in defence of someone who does not deserve it, and possibly harming the people they have already hurt.

[crooked-wasteland]

Any criticisms of the first post is hardly in bad faith when it is phrased like an advertisement. If Medrano simply wanted to voice her human support for individuals who feel hopeless as a person, of course there would be some bad faith pushback. But this post isn't a call of solidarity, it's advertising. Specifically an advertisement for closeted young people who don't have support.

Don't bring up your professional work if you are seeking to make a personal statement. Don't advertise your works in this way if you're seeking to make a human connection. Especially when your show blatantly ignores power dynamics and fails to actually confront those themes. You telling us what your show is about is you trying to sell it on unsuspecting viewers who don't actually know what your show is.

This is just false advertising.

[libraryofglitter]

listen i'm 100% on the side of "don't idolize any celebrities, parasocial relationships aren't real" etc. but that being said. i have one exception where i allow myself to be horribly parasocial. by which i mean, if anything bad ever came out about dan and phil i don't know how i could handle it.

[texaschainsawmascara]

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[shitswiftiessay]

swifties are angry at joe alwyn for posting about gaza on taylor’s birthday, calling him “pathetic,” “manipulative,” and “evil.”

I wish I could tell you that this was all a joke, that these are all parody accounts, but they’re dead serious. and of course we get the conspiracy theory about HIS TEAM trying to make him look good, because anyone who comes online and says anything critical about taylor MUST be a member of joe alwyn’s PR team. 🙄

but yeah, swifties are convinced that joe was trying to SHADE taylor by posting about gaza on her birthday, because s hasn’t said or done shit regarding this issue. also, they literally cannot fathom that there is anything happening in the world that is MORE IMPORTANT than a billionaire’s birthday.

and these swifties really need to ask themselves: WHY does joe alwyn posting about gaza make them SO ANGRY? is it because they’re reminded that taylor has not done or said JACK SHIT about palestine because she’s too afraid to lose money by being too “controversial?”

“not to mention it’s a screenshot and it’s not even a donation link like…”

it’s a LINK TO AN ARTICLE and it’s still more than TAYLOR has ever posted?? y’all think he was trying to “shade” taylor on her birthday (even if he was, so what? she + her team + her stupid friends have been shading him SINCE APRIL) by bringing to attention her lack of care about palestine or really any issue that doesn’t directly affect her (or her “home state.”). and the fact is, taylor could VERY QUICKLY AND EASILY shut up the critics who say she hasn’t said or done enough regarding palestine, but she won’t. miss americana, the goth punk billionaire, who spent a whole documentary crying about how she wasn’t allowed to speak up on important issues, has suddenly become ALLERGIC to saying anything remotely political or controversial. and at some point you’re gonna have to ask yourself why.

[sickofthis666]

This stratospheric level of egoism is mindblowing and disturbing to me.

As someone with diagnosed with PTSD, no, being deceived by an author you never met is not trauma. You can’t call every uncomfortable or painful experience trauma. You’re making the word lose impact and meaning.

"He violated us too" No. How tonedeaf can you be? How tactless? Making someone's else rape about you? No, you haven't been violated. He didn’t put his fucking hands on you. Those two experiences are not even remotely comparable, and the fact that you think they are is seriously worrying. You mentioned talking to your therapist about it— yeah, you really should.

"Time to grieve" no one died. The actual, real victims deserve to grieve the life and peace of mind they lost.

I'm not saying you can’t feel betrayed by an author you loved for a long time, but the least you could do is not make someone's else rape about you.

[plasmalink]

the thing about parasocial relationships is that if you jump on them their wings fall off and they just become social relationships

[citruswriter]

Billie Eilish x Reader

Warnings: Lemon, afab reader, fem reader, pet names pussydrunk Billie, oral, overstimulation, squirting.

Dom!Billie who loves walking up before you so she can pepper your pretty face with kisses as she rubs your sides.

Dom!Billie who loves waking you up with breakfast in bed because her princess deserves nothing but the best.

Dom!Billie who takes you out with her all the time to spoil you and get you your favorite fast food.

Dom!Billie who lays on your lap as she comes up with song ideas, bouncing ideas off you and saying things like "oh that's a good one, pretty girl" or "my girl is so smart" everytime you come up with a good idea.

Dom!Billie who'll eat you out for hours, completely pussydrunk off your taste even after you've orgasmed multiple times because you just taste so fucking good sweet girl.

Dom!Billie who keeps her hands firm on your quivering thighs, praising you through another orgasm even as you cry and tell her it's too much.

- "I can't... I can't Bills. S'too much! Too much! Ah!" You sob out, tears rolling down your pretty cheeks while she keeps her grip on your thighs firm, forcing your legs apart as she swirls her tongue expertly around your clit. "Just one more, sweet girl. Come on, please? Wanna taste you again, pretty." She all put purrs out, pleading with you to cum again.

Dom!Billie who all but moans when you squirt in her mouth, greedily lapping up your sweet nectar, even as you blush in embarrassment.

- "So fucking messy." She purrs out after she lapped up all your juices, causing you to blush more. "Shut up..." You all but grumble out and she can only laugh that sweet laugh that rumbles her chest as she kisses your inner thighs. "Sorry baby. You know I can't help myself."

Casually tagging @naturesapphic to see my first Billie fic........ fooooooooor no particular reason. 👀👀👀

[theweeklydiscourse]

Anytime you try to draw parallels between Chappell Roan’s current plight and past female stars who struggled and suffered because of the pressures of fame and scrutiny from the media, people practically fall over themselves to invalidate those comparisons. They’ll argue that “XYZ had it worse!” and mock Chappel for being “dramatic” and ungrateful while praising other female musicians/celebrities who, ironically, have also written extensively about the insane expectations placed on them by parasocial stans and the media.

It just goes to show that people learned NOTHING from Brittany Spears, Sinéad O’Connor, The Chicks and every other female star who’s been “failed” by the culture. These people will say ANYTHING to deny the fact that their behaviour is repeating the same history that people look back on and make a dozen documentaries about. It genuinely makes me seethe to think about how people will only reflect on the harassment and mockery Chappell experienced once the damage has been done.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

You think you can hurt me? I have unhealthy parasocial relationships with THEM:

You cannot hurt me more than I have already hurt myself.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Parasocial Relationship

Parasocial Interaction (PSI) - semblance of interpersonal exchange whereby members of an audience come to feel that they personally know a performer they have encountered in mass media.

Parasocial Relationship (PSR) - generally defined as a relationship in which one member of the relationship isn’t aware of the other—e.g., a fan loves a celebrity, but the celebrity doesn’t know they exist. Not restricted to celebrities, PSRs also exist between people and fictional characters, whether portrayed by an actor or not.

PSRs tend to occur because of our natural tendency to link to others.

PSIs are thought to have a psychological effect similar to that of face-to-face communication.

Over time, PSIs with a performer may lead audience members to develop a parasocial relationship—a one-sided sense of connection with the performer.

The first examinations of parasocial relationships came in the 1950s, when psychologists tried to understand how television viewers reacted to the hosts, MCs, and TV personalities speaking to them directly out of the screen—a novel concept at the time.

It caused concern that viewers at home wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the relationships they had with a television personality and ones they had with “real” people— “victim[s] of the 'magic mirror'” as Richard Horton and Donald Wohl described in the 1956 paper.

The term parasocial interaction first appeared in the writings of American sociologists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl in the 1956 article “Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance.” The article describes how PSIs may gradually lead to the formation of a parasocial relationship.

Most theoretical work attempting to define and differentiate PSIs and parasocial relationships was published in the latter half of the 20th century.

Generally, modern sociologists and media theorists agree that the concepts are distinct but deeply related.

The Parasocial Interaction Scale, devised in the 1980s in order to better quantify PSIs and parasocial relationships, asks subjects to answer questions about both phenomena.

PSIs occur when audience members feel that they are actively interacting with a mass media personality.

Human brains appear to process PSIs in much the same way as real-life interpersonal interactions because of the novelty of technologically mediated encounters.

While people do recognize the artificiality of the media apparatus, their perception of PSIs causes a real psychological reaction.

PSIs are strongest when a media personality cultivates the illusion of interpersonal intimacy.

Certain genres, programs, and celebrities have purposely fostered such a sense of intimacy in their tone and setting.

For example, TV talk shows have their hosts directly address the camera as if in conversation with each viewer, creating the illusion of face-to-face closeness.

Situation comedies manufacture familial settings that viewers grow more and more accustomed to.

Certain podcasts and radio shows—especially those crafted around one or more hosts—adopt an informal tone resembling that of a gathering of friends.

As PSIs become increasingly frequent, many audience members enter into a parasocial relationship built on comfort, satisfaction, and commitment.

In contrast, Horton and Wohl posited, people whose encounters with mass media figures are infrequent may feel detached and even cynical when they do encounter those figures.

Indeed, the researchers suggested, audience members must tune in regularly and of their own volition for the relationship to become parasocial.

Such relationships bridge genre and style. In one key study, researchers found that commitment levels (measured on a scale used for interpersonal relationships) for viewers of both fictional and nonfictional television programs were predicted by how invested the viewers were.

Consequently, when a program went off the air, committed viewers experienced higher levels of distress, dubbed a “parasocial breakup,” than uncommitted viewers.

Audience members often have a parasocial relationship with the same celebrity without feeling jealous of one another; in fact, in many cases, sharing their dedication to a mass media persona brings people closer together.

While parasocial relationships can enrich your life, these one-sided affairs can also hurt you.

They won't love you back. "They're like fake food. They taste good, but they have no nutritional content and won't meet your needs. You need to love and be loved in return to thrive," social scientist and professor Arthur C. Brooks says.

They might contribute to loneliness and isolation if you rely on them too much. Loneliness and isolation are linked to increased risks of many chronic health problems such as depression, anxiety, dementia, and heart disease, and even premature death.

They might have a negative influence on you. Are you picking up unhealthy ideas from the people you follow? Brooks says this should be a special concern for parents whose kids have parasocial relationships: The messages kids glean might be at odds with your values — perhaps because they are controversial political or adult themes.

Two red alerts:

Ask yourself if you're too attached. For example, are you skipping dinner with friends because you prefer watching a TV show with a character you care about and want to connect with?

Be wary. "If someone is trying to brainwash you, saying, 'I'm your friend, you can trust me,' that person is using a personal social bond to get you to do something — like vote a certain way," Brooks says. He points out that social media stars try to establish parasocial relationships with followers to get more clicks and make money. "That's what the new economy is all about — monetizing parasocial relationships on a mass scale," Brooks says.

A PSR that starts with healthy boundaries, can turn sour when a mob mentality forms, resulting in harassment.

PSRs are natural and not inherently unhealthy.

But, as Stever says, “Anything that can be true about a regular social relationship can be true about a parasocial relationship. Are they positive? Can they be good for us? Absolutely. Can they be negative? Can they be toxic for us? We all know examples of that.”

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[netscapenavigator-official]

I think the reason that social media has become as toxic as it is, is because a lot of people view accounts as the person, and not just some journal where the person occasionally jots down an incomplete thought.

Like, not every post is an eternal, declarative manifesto. Some of us are just thinking out loud, Mary.

Just because you have a window into my soul doesn't mean you know the entire floor plan.

[the-uncanny-dag]

Comes out of the parasocial relationship covered in blood & filth saying "you should see the other guy ;)", meanwhile the other guy is posting my weird ass anon messages to their followers, exhausted with my shit & perplexed as to why someone would say that to strangers

[drifting-in-otter-space]

I love a good hyperfixation as much as the next person, but can we all chill the fuck out about actual real people?

Or at the very least afford them some decency by respecting their boundaries?

Parasocial relationships are scary, man.

Go off on your fictional blorbos, that's hurting no one.

But please, please don't blur the line between the fictional character and the person who plays the fictional character. Because you don't actually know that person, at all. Just their public persona... and you're entitled to nothing from them.

[shitswiftiessay]

What a bunch of fucking word salad, just to justify why your fave’s new album is getting dragged.