#Paladin trilogy

[wearepaladin]

The beginning of the very good Paladin trilogy by Daniel M. Ford. Rereading right and enjoying it once again.

Ordination by Kerem Beyit

[hawkogurl]

Wip of a certain extremely normal man

[yandere-wishes]

The Spider’s Web

Summary: You are a hero, you feel it within your bones. Calamity may strike and villains may rise. But you are still a hero, it's time to start acting like one. 

Continuations of Imposter Syndrome and Perfect Girl. But can be read as a stand-alone

 Warnings: Yandere themes,  violence, angst, just the worst Spanish you've ever heard.  SFW but Miles and the reader are 18+

Author's note: Last part of the Prowler Miles x Hero reader trilogy. Reblogs and comments are appreciated. 

There's a weight in your hand, familiar and awkward, worn yellow plastic stuck to rusted metal. You count the rotations it takes for one bolt to tighten, twist, twist, and repeat. You cradle the metallic gadget with such fragile care, lips tracing silent prayers across the cold alloy. This shall be your salvation once it's complete. Another key to unbinding these appalling shackles.

It's been months since the Prowler took you away. Locked you within his new hideout and threw away the key. He claims he loves you as he leaves sugar-tainted kisses upon your neck. Whispers that he's the only one who can keep you safe as he nibbles the shell of your ear. His claws have become a constant force upon your hips, his presence a burden, invariant and throttling. He's stripped you of your mantle as a hero, reduced you to a limbless, formless creature that merely exists within the dark of his room. Una muñeca, he calls you as he extinguishes the air from your lungs with a life-sucking kiss. 

But you're not a doll, nor a puppet, nor a toy. You're supposed to be a paladin, a saviour, the one who was going to alleviate this city of evil once and for all. But you're not a superhero, not now, not anymore. The thought is enough to make you sick. 

Your own reflection causes you the most pain. The glass paints a stranger with hollow eyes and a decaying soul. Defeated and broken. You've taken to smashing mirrors as a way to exercise your demons. Miles has stated his vexation over this and warned you not to invoke his anger again. It's hard to explain that his anger makes you feel human. The way his eyes narrow and his lips merge into displeasure is the only thing keeping you alive right now. You hate him, but he's practically forgotten that.

Your ears perk up as footsteps tread outside the room. You quickly rush to hide your new gauntlet under the bed, rolling to the deepest corners where the dust bunnies and boogeyman roam. You perch yourself on the bed, stretch to grab a framed family photo from one of the shelves, and focus your eyes. Keep busy, it's the best way to avert his suspicions. 

There's a light creek before Miles steps in. Footsteps heavy as if the ground's going to give way under him. He looks exhausted, practically dead. You wonder what he's been up to all day. You turn your head to face your nemesis, your jailer, your lover.

"Mi Vida" he mutters as he falls back on the bed, he turns wrapping his arms around your waist. "That slimy alien insisted I do some physical training today. It's exhausting. Says I need to be in shape for the big operation". You stiffen, ever since the sinister six had you out of their way, they'd been content with ruling the city with an iron fist. Nothing major, nothing extreme. But something is going down, something bad. Desperation throbs within your heart, you need to escape. 

Miles pulls you down until you're lying next to him. Gently prys the photo from your hands and looks it over. There's an endless moment that reverberates between you two. "I miss him sometimes'' he confesses, his eyes locked on his father's face. He looks like a child hopeless and lost. Desperate in all the ways you've never been. He pulls you closer and buries his head in the crock of your neck. It almost feels like love. If love was a thousand leeches that stick to every crevice of your body. Slowly infiltrating the heart. Slowly sucking away your life. 

Miles is a storm, a typhoon, a calamity. All hurling winds and bellowing thunder. A hurricane that shakes the world to its core. You've gotten so used to thinking of him as anything but human that you forgot he's just a boy. A boy with a heartbeat and a thousand painful memories all locked behind golden eyes. 

You remember when he used to tell you stories. Back when the safest place for a hero and a villain was the midnight sanctuary of a rooftop.

Stories of his childhood back when his father was still alive. Back when he was seven or maybe eight naive enough to believe his father's empty preaches about justice and righteousness. Mind too preoccupied with the new Rover red hot wheel his father had brought home after his shift. He'd been happy once, a long, long time ago.

Back then you used to think about him, in the spare moments between explosions and your blood pounding through your ears. You used to think about what kind of boy Miles would have been if his father had still been around. How sweet his smile could have been, how precious his soul would have been. Even after he kidnapped you and put you through horrors untold, you still think about the boy he could have been. Dare to imagine who he could have been. You wonder if his touch could have been endearing, could have made you feel safe. Half addicting and half comforting. It's laughable really, you never thought it possible to miss someone you've never met. Yet it unlocks a special kind of sadness within your heart. Maybe in some other lifetime, the two of you could have been real lovers. 

"We're planning to expand outside of New York, take over everything else," Miles says as his eyes grow heavier. He's tired, you think, that's good, that very very good. "There's no one left to get in our way." There's a dreadful banging in the back of your head. A screaming voice begging you to escape, to run away, to do SOMETHING, anything. There's a fatigue that has encompassed Miles, engulfed him whole. He's dead to the world in minutes. Whilst you are tortured by your consciousness. Your gadgets aren't ready. They're made from scrap bits you found around the hideout. Half assembled and never tested. Yet Miles is asleep, exhausted and unconscious. It's the perfect chance to run to return to your old life. 

Take a leap of faith, what's the worst that can happen...

You spare one last glance at Miles. Close your eyes and take in a shaky breath. A leap of faith you repeat within your head. You roll out of the bed and rummage under it to find your hidden gems. They're not perfect, not finished, but hopefully, they'll work. Your gauntlets are the most important part, they should theoretically be strong enough to break the seals on the window. From there you can use what little web filler alternative you were able to make to swing away from this dreadful place. Run and hide, New York is huge he shouldn't be able to find you. 

You rush for the window, pry the bolts loose, pull and pull until your muscles begin to collapse. The window creaks open and it sounds like freedom and hope all entwined with a fleece of dread. You step out onto the ledge. A hunting summer breeze ghosts across your face, as sirens scream in the background. A million lights bathe the city in a welcoming glow. You take a breath, turn around and fall. Diving into a concrete ocean, a place where you can finally feel alive. 

The rebirth of a hero has begun...

What is a hero in a land of villains? A shining star or a decaying light. To them, you are a monster, ripped from your mother's womb with a craving for blood and justice. To Miles, you used to be a beast, chained and tamed. He forgot that you were a numen. That you were something he had to fear. 

There's a divinity hidden inside each hero. Bones made of golden marrow that births sacred cells. A hero's blood is holy Ichor running through their veins. Ripping them apart from the inside and reassembling them as modern martyrs who shall die amongst the neon lights. 

How can you expect anything less from yourself? How can you be anything other than hallowed? You refuse to be anything other than sacred, trimmed in gold, and born of desert diamonds. 

Your eyes are focused on the last warehouse, Vulture, and Dr.Octopus are overviewing the newest cargo shipment. They're the last of the sinister six to die. The final lines to add to your tally. Then you can focus on the prowler.

After you escaped it took many days to find a safe place to hideout. You spend every second rummaging through the streets in search of new parts to use. You need a functional suit, one that could at the very least get you in and out of the Sinister Six's stock houses without detection. Then you could focus on stealing upgrades. You needed the strength, the extra power. There's a festering hunger pounding in your cranium. Desperate to get out. It screams the ballads of a vengeful melody. The need for retribution has become a cruel addiction, one that has driven you further than you ever dreamed possible. 

You stare out at the warehouse from your perch upon a skyscraper. 

 Count the seconds before the bomb detonates. On the count of three, a shiver goes up your spine. An acquainted terror, he's found, you feel his digital case price you from inside the shadows. Phantom pains resurface as old bruises begin to bloom. You earned your freedom to the symphony of breaking bones and tearing flesh. To the desperate tugs of your heartstrings as if it were a harp. There is no way you'll permit him to take it from you again. 

"Long time no see mami" His voice is gruff, hidden behind the layers of his mask. A small part of you used to miss this. Missed the Prowler you had fought almost daily. Missed the punching and kicking and the desperate need to kill or kiss one another. "Hello Miles" you spit his name like poison behind your teeth. Somewhere in the distance the bomb detonates, vermillion and smoke fill the air and you feel your heart skip in jovial delight. 

You twirl across the edge of the building, hands stuck out on either side. You look like a bird, like a ballerina. Like a friendly neighborhood Spidergirl. "What, you want us to beat each other up? For old time's sake."

Mile's mask slips away and he looks at you with eyes too dead for his young age. "You left me!" he screams, with a voice sheathed in pain, in anger, in broken dreams that had shattered far too quickly. 

You wonder if the mask has cut off the oxygen going into his brain. "Of course, I left you!" You scream, "You turned me into a metaphysical, gutless monster, you stripped me of every heroic deed I had embedded into your heart. You robbed me of my faith, my morals, my soul. Did you ever think I could love you after all that..." 

"You're talking crazy little bug, I was protecting you"

"From what! From the villains, I could have destroyed!"

There's rage leaking out of every aperture of his body. Anger within his lungs, pounding and prudent destructive at best. He rushes towards you, with every intent to kill to maim. He tackles you over the edge. You wonder if he has a death wish. You wonder if he's in love. 

You're falling into a sea of dying stars. Miles's arms wrap tightly against your waist. The ground seems infinitely far and yet ever so close. 

You wonder if Miles fears death or if he welcomes it. It wouldn't matter either way. For the first time in longer than you care to remember you feel so alive, dead tissue gives way to the howling wind in your ears. There's no end in sight. If you die, at least you'll die in each other's arms. Raindrops race past you splattering across the pavement, in a final moment of yearning, you sling your web against a low rise hoping it'll soften the fall. 

You wake up to the wet street. Miles's body sprawled out next to you. Inching closer you feel his pulse throb under your fingertips, a caged beast vying for its freedom. Desperate, desperate, desperate, exactly how he makes you feel. His eyes peel open, stardust and nectar falling from them. He's beautiful you think, he's deadly you recall. "and here I thought we had something special mami" he mumbles as his eyes begin to close. He'll live, you're sure of it. You just have to muster enough energy to drag him back to your lair. Tie him up for good measure, give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe now with the Sinister Six gone and the city finally at peace. Maybe now with every bad influence scrubbed clean from his life. Miles can finally become a real boy. Maybe you two can finally become real lovers. 

There's a light that dances in front of your eyes. Rogue fire and magic all wrapped in one. A man steps out of it or maybe a seraphim. It's really hard to tell with the throbbing at the back of your head. He introduces himself. He looks just like you, spiders etched into his skin and pain pooling inside his eyes. You wonder if he's been through the same horrors as you.

But Miguel is older, a crooked thing. All fangs and blood and claws. You peel yourself from the ground and wobble over to him. Collapsing in his arms. Tears fall from your eyes matching the tears of the heavens.

"It's over little one, the pain is finally over" You know he's lying. Yet it soothes you. You know your new life as the protector of New York has just begun. 

You are Spidergirl now and your life has just turned into a Sisyphean labor

Sorry it's not as good as the other two, I was having a hard week lol

taglist: @nkmblackhyuuga @itsnotino @huicitawrites @bennybenten @scarleste @the-rouge-robin @murderofravens

[bberry005]

ALRIGHT EVERYONE guess what insane thing I did? I made a really rough concept for if the universe of Willow got the full Star Wars-esque saga treatment. I will say it's a lot more focused on characters and general plots than themes, but for anyone who wants to see it, here it is.

The Willow Saga (chronological order)

Kymeria, movies: movie series (maybe a trilogy?) about the fall of the Kymerian Empire and the creation of the Kymerian Cuirass. Could contain all kinds of narrative parallels to the Willow (2022) show.

Elora Danan Origin Story (Movie): A movie about the origins of the myth of Elora Danan and the past Elora Danans and all that fun stuff.

Paladins of Cashmere (series): TV series about the Princess of Cashmere and how she went missing, followed by the Paladins of Cashmere trying to find her. Provides a lot of cool worldbuilding about the other kingdoms in the realm.

Lands End (movie or 3 season series, depending on importance/vibes/plot): a tv show/movie about the war leading up to the fall of Bavmorda. About Madmartigan’s time as a knight of Galladoorn. Emphasis on the Battle of Land’s End because that’s mentioned multiple times.

The Princess (movie, working title): The story of Sorsha Tanthalos, from child to queen.

Willow (1988), movie: Nelwyn farmer Willow Ufgood finds a baby in a river and embarks on a quest to protect her after learning she is Elora Danan. He teams up with rogue swordsman Madmartigan and eventually together they defeat the evil queen Bavmorda and save the realm.

Tales from the Wildwood, TV series: Follows the story of teenage Venoma Scorpia and Thraxus Boorman as the Bone Reavers establish themselves in the Wildwood and the pair seek to find the rest of General Kael’s thirteen children.

The Cuirass, movie: Madmartigan, Allagash, and Boorman on their quest to find the Kymerian Cuirass in order to prevent Elora Danan from having to save the realm alone. Also shows some of life in Tir Asleen immediately after the war. Opportunities for tiny Kit and Airk. Willow (2022), 3 season TV series: Set approximately 20 years after the original movie, Willow (2022) follows Elora Danan as she undertakes her quest to stop the Withered Crone. She is joined by washed up sorcerer Willow Ufgood, a timid prince Graydon Hastur, valiant knight Jade Claymore, criminal and rogue Thraxus Boorman, and a cocky princess Kit Tanthalos.

[nimona-antifa]

Can't speak to titanfall 2 but I can confirm that Deep Rock Galactic and Team Fortress 2 are awesome. Borderlands 2 is also great, can confirm Portal 2 is amazing, and I'm hoping to get ultrakill soon!!! Paladins is awesome and Doom 2016 is also pretty great, as is the metroid prime trilogy. The point is there's good shit, you just gotta know where to look for it.

They should make an FPS that's good

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the Apes fanfic Chap. 1

*Author's note*

Okay so we're gonna try something new here tumblr. Ever since I saw the new Planet of the apes film a month ago I got interested in the fandom once again but never thought anyone wrote fics for the fandom. After reading some on FF.net as well as here, it got me wanting to write a series while I'm on a writer's block for my current series. And thus this series was born.

This entire series will encompass the Andy Serkis trilogy and will be a Caesar fic. But it is STRICTLY PLATONIC so if that's not your cup of tea, no hate and just move on. This is my story and I'll write it the way I want to.

Now to those who wish to give this series a chance as you read, leave a comment down below if you wish to be tagged for updates (rn I'll be binge posting cause I've already got 10 chapters ready to go and be read).

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, swearing, violence. So this won't be for the light of heart (at least until I get to Dawn and then War).

Taglist:

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@waddles03

______________________________________________________

Some say that the bonds between human and animal are a unique thing.  That there’s an unbreakable trust between the two and that they are fated to always be together.  Others say that like soulmates, there’s always an animal for a person who needs them the most.  For me, I would end up having the most unique of all bonds with an animal that is closest to my own species of animal.

This is the story of such a bond, this is the story of Lin and Caesar.

It was nightfall and pouring down rain as I rode home with my best friend Gabriella and her mother.  Gabi and I had known each other since Pre-K after we both had a love for the Disney movie Lilo and Stitch.  From that moment on we’ve been inseparable.  Currently I was getting a ride home with her mom after our strings class.

She and I after school go over to the rec center every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights and perform with the San Fransisco Strings and Orchestra for minors.  Gabi plays the cello and I play the violin.  We’re both pretty good if I do say so myself, our teacher tells us that we could eventually go far into the world of music if we set our mind to it.  But I think I’m good cause of my genetics, after all my grandpa was a former music professor and conductor.  But he doesn’t really play anymore, or at least he tries to.

We soon stopped at my house and I said grabbing my things and readied my umbrella.

“Thanks for the ride Mrs. Montez.”

“Anytime Lin sweetie. Watch out crossing the dark, wet sidewalk.”

“I will, see you tomorrow in class Gabi.”

“See yah Lin.” I quickly opened the door and opened up my umbrella before quickly racing across the sidewalk and up the stairs to my front door.  I took my key and unlocked the door but not before waving one final time and soon Mrs. Montez drove off down the road.

I entered inside and shook off my umbrella before hanging it to dry.  I also took off my raincoat and hung it up beside it before walking further into the house proclaiming.

“Hello? Grandpa? Uncle Will?” that’s when I heard the sound of cooing, like a baby cooing but it wasn’t human.  I set my violin case down to the banister by the front door and walked into the study room where I found a large box with holes sitting on the table.  As I got closer to it, I heard my uncle say.

“Oh perfect timing, guess that means I can show you both.” I turned and saw both my uncle and grandpa coming around from the kitchen entry.

“Show me what?” uncle Will walked passed me, ruffled my hair and stood over the box.

“Hey grandpa.”

“Hey sweetheart. Get another gold star from Ms. Honey for good behavior?” I smiled solemnly.  Ms. Honey was my kindergarten teacher, my current teacher is Mr. Simmons. 

My grandpa for the past couple of years has been dealing with Alzheimer’s disease.  Uncle Will told me that it’s a disease that slowly eats away at the brain’s cells, affecting memory and sometimes body function.  You see, my parents died in a plane crash when I was just 3 years old and in their will they had the next guardianship be my grandpa.  But two years ago, that’s when the disease started to take its effect on him.

So my uncle Will had to move in with us to help not only take care of me but of grandpa too.  And when he’s at work and I’m at school, a nice nurse comes in and helps take care of grandpa.

“Grandpa, I’m in the 4th grade. My teacher is Mr. Simmons. You know the nice man you and uncle Will met last month at the school picnic.” He looked dazed for a second but then said.

“Oh right, yeah I knew that.”

“Dad, Lin, come check this out.” Uncle Will said trying to redirect the conversation.  We came over and the second we looked inside, there lay a baby monkey.

“Is that a monkey?” I asked with a head tilt.

“He’s actually a chimpanzee, an ape.” Uncle Will corrected me.  Grandpa was in pure awe as he slowly reached in and touched the baby chimp.

“What is that? Is he injured?” he asked as I took notice of a mark right around the right side of his chest.  It was a prominent balding mark in a unique shape, a long oval shape with an additional stripe at the top.  Kinda reminded me of an incomplete cross or an unfinished F.

“No, I think that’s a birthmark.” Uncle Will said as he crossed into the kitchen and started putting some things into the fridge.  All the while grandpa picked up the baby chimp and lifted him high into the air like he was Simba.  The little guy was just small enough to fit between both of grandpa’s hands.

“Listen Lin,” he told me before he began quoting, “‘But as for Caesar, kneel down, kneel down and wonder.’”

“He’s so cute.” I awed as I reached out and touched his little toes.

“Yeah don’t get too attached, either of you.” Uncle Will told us.

“So why bring him here then if we can’t keep him?” I sassed.

“He’s not a dog or a cat, not even a bunny rabbit. He’s a wild animal. My coworker promised he’d try to find an animal sanctuary for him in a couple of days.” I let out a exasperated groan.

“Animal sanctuaries are still prisons.”

“Don’t get smart young lady.” My uncle playfully reprimanded as he pointed at me.

“It’s not polite to point.” I sassed back.

“Polite? Okay, I’ll show you polite.” My uncle said as he shut the fridge and giving me that narrowed but playful look in his eyes.  I took off running as he raced after me.  I got only up four stairs before I felt two arms wrap around me and he swung me away from the staircase and the next thing I felt was a wet finger in my ear.

“GAHH EWW UNCLE WILL!!!”

“Yeah your mom did this to me all the time when we were kids, now it’s payback.” He laughed.

“I’m innocent in this vile act!” I proclaimed dramatically.

“But you must pay for the sins of thy mother young youth!”

“Will, Maria, you two better stop horsing around in there.” At hearing my mom’s name we both settled down and a somber feeling was in the air.

“He’s been calling me that on and off for the past week.”

“Honestly who can blame him. You look so much like her when she was your age.” He said with a soft smile and he ruffled my hair again.

“Really?”

“Yeah. And when have I ever lied about anything in regards to my big sister?”

“Never.”

“Exactly.” He then playfully nudged my side with his before changing the subject.  “Now please tell me you managed to eat dinner cause I’ve had a long day of work and I don’t feel like cooking anything.”

“Lucky for you, the rec center was hosting a pizza party after the past few months prepping for Districts last week. Maestro Fiyero said we earned a little break after working us so hard.”

“Good. Now why don’t you brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”

“Why does my curfew have to be 9 o’clock? I’m 10 years old, not five.”

“Growing girls needs sleep too you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell grandpa I said goodnight will yah?”

“Will do kid. Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

“You too.” I grabbed my violin and raced on upstairs and did my nighttime routine before getting into bed and turning off the light.

As the night progressed, I soon heard the sounds of shrieks coming from the hallway.  I opened my eyes and looked at my clock to see that it was 2:30am.  I got up and let out a cough and muttered to myself.

“Need some juice.” Quietly I walked down the hallway towards the stairs but as I came to the bathroom I could hear the shower running as well as the bathroom sink.  Did grandpa accidentally leave the water running again after taking his shower?  No, Uncle Will would’ve turned it off by now.

I knocked softly on the door and I heard my uncle’s voice say.

“It’s just me dad.”

“I’m not grandpa.” I heard footsteps and the door cracked open and when he saw me, he brought me into the bathroom before closing it.  Immediately I was hit with the heat that had been trapped by the hot water that was coming from both the shower and the sink.

“What are you doing up so late Lin?”

“I heard shrieking and then I got thirsty.”

“Ohh sorry, guess this little guy woke you up too huh?” it was then I took notice of the baby chimp swaddled up in my uncle’s arms.  I looked down at him and he looked up at me, moving his grip from my uncle’s finger to mine as he cooed.

“He looks like he has a cold.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, his nose is kinda runny.”

“Well that’s normal for babies sometimes. He’s barely a day old. You definitely had a runny nose when you were born.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Oh yeah you were quite the little snot monster. The original boogeyman, or boogeygirl.” He said taking his free hand that was on top of the baby chimp and playfully gripped my nose.

“Uncle Will!” I whined softly which made him laugh.  Our moment was stopped as the baby chimp let out a few more coos before snuggling up to uncle Will, all the while the grip on my finger got a bit tighter.  I smiled down at him and said as I stroked my thumb over his tiny fingers.  “Are you sure we can’t keep him?”

“I’ll—think about it. Holding him like this….makes me think back to the day you were born. Boy your mom wouldn’t let me near you at first. Feared I was gonna drop you, she always had that fierce mama bear instinct right from the get-go. Even when we were growing up and as she tormented me at times. When I needed it, she was there with her hot-headed attitude.”

“I miss her uncle Will.”

“Me too kid. Me too.” I leaned up against him and he rested his head on top of mine giving it a soft kiss.  “Go on back to bed, I’ll stay up with him.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m used to all-nighters, one day you might get there when you’re composing your first symphony. But for now, head back to bed.”

“Can I still get my juice first? I’m thirsty.”

“Just this once. Just be quiet when passing Charles’ room.” I nodded before leaning down and gave the baby chimp a kiss to which he let out a cute yawn and quiet hoot.

“Goodnight little chimp. Night uncle Will.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and he said goodnight to me as I quietly left the bathroom shutting the door immediately as I got out.  I went downstairs, got my drink and went back to bed.

The next morning I was finishing my breakfast and packing my school books into my backpack as uncle Will was coming down with the baby chimp and set him up in my old high-stool chair that grandpa had kept.

“Where’s my car keys?” grandpa asked as he was patting through his robe and pj pockets.  “My car keys where’d you put them? I need to get Lin to school!” he said urgently.

“Dad.” Uncle Will calmly spoke to him. “You-you don’t drive anymore. And Lin takes the bus.” Grandpa looked at him with a blank stare before turning away and telling him.

“I know that.” It really does make me sad to see grandpa this way.  He always looks so dazed and lost, like he’s here with us but at the same time he’s not.  Sometimes he’ll just sit there and stare off into space, frozen in his spot and not say anything for a really long time.

“Here, why don’t you feed him? Can you do that?” uncle Will suggested holding up a baby bottle filled with milk.

“Of course I can.” Said grandpa coming over.  As uncle Will went to get his coffee (blech!) grandpa came over and grabbed the bottle which made the baby chimp go crazy with hunger as he reached out for it.  As soon as it was in reach, he grabbed the bottle from grandpa’s hand and immediately began drinking it as fast as he could.

I dropped my fork and stared at him in awe.  I was told that babies always needed help being fed for at least several months and yet after just being born yesterday, he was feeding himself.

“Will, look at this.” Grandpa said as uncle Will came back into the kitchen and saw what we saw.  “How old is he? Like a day old, two days old?” Uncle Will sat down as he examined the baby chimp confused.

“Yeah.” Uncle Will said lowly as he kept his eyes on the baby chimp.

“Oh he’s a smart one isn’t he?” said grandpa as he came around and sat on the other side of the baby and gently placed his hand on top of his head.  “What are you gonna name him?”

“I—I don’t know.” Uncle Will said unsure.  That’s when I saw it.  Now I’m no monkey or ape expert but from pictures I’ve seen in books they normally have dark eyes, mostly brown but this little guy.  His eyes were green.

A green eyed baby chimpanzee.  One look into his eyes and I knew that he was something very special.

[theinquisitxor]

October Reading Wrap Up

October was a great reading month and I got through ten(!) books in the month. That's more than I've read in a while, so it felt good to be able to know I can still read that many. I read some spooky/halloweenish books, as well as continued a few series, and finished a series.

1.Son of the Shadows (Sevenwaters 2) by Juliet Marillier, 5/5 stars. I started the month with reading the second Sevenwaters book. Just like with book 1, I enjoyed this immensely, and I found the characters and storyline to be strong and engaging. This one is even more romance heavy than the first books. Adult historical fantasy

2.Paladin's Hope (Saint of Steel 3) by T. Kingfisher, 4.5/5 stars. Another good installment in this series and new mystery that our characters are faced with. This one was a bit shorter than the first two books, and I wish this was a little longer, but otherwise it was great as always! Adult fantasy romance

3.The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way by Bill Bryson This was my nonfiction book for the month, and I read this on audio. Enjoyable, but I felt like it was a little dated. I've read other more recent books on linguistics, and enjoyed them more. Nonfiction.

4.Echo North by Joanna Ruth Mayer, 4/5 stars. This was an enjoyable YA fantasy, and a good blend of fairytales I really enjoy. I don't read a lot of YA anymore, but this reminded me of some of the 'older' YA that is really good. East of the Sun West of the Moon, batb, cupid & psyche retellings all blended together. The author also credits Robin McKinley, DWJ, and Edith Pattou as big inspirations, and I could tell. YA fantasy

5.Last Argument of Kings (First Law 3) by Joe Abercrombie, ?/5 stars. I honestly was so done reading this trilogy, and just wanted to know how it ended so I could just finish it. I skimmed most of it, and only read the Glokta chapters and the ending. This type of fantasy is 100% not for me. I only finished the series because my brother gifted me the boxed set (and he read them). Adult fantasy

6.I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacquline Harpman, 5/5 stars. This is a lesser known classic that's gotten some popularity recently. It's part dystopian, part science fiction, and reminded me a little of The Wall which I read earlier this year. Very poignant, dark, but an exploration of self and a woman on her own. This is translated from French!

7.A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher, 4/5 stars. Another good T Kingfisher fairy tale retelling (however this was quite loose on the retelling), but also dark, featuring child abuse and animal horror. But there is humor, and a good cast of adult characters trying to fix the situation, and I like how T Kingfisher writes competent adults.

8.Witch Week (Chrestomanci 3) by Diana Wynne Jones, 3/5 stars. I started this on audio, but finished with the physical book. Can't say I enjoyed this one as much as the first two. This just reminded me of how horrible middle school was! A good halloween time read though. Middle grade fantasy.

9.The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky, 4/5 stars. This is a historical fantasy that has been on my tbr since 2019. This is light on the fantasy elements, and about first contact between Inuit and Vikings in present-day Canada about 1000 years ago. Our main character is an Inuit shaman, and they and a viking have to team up to save the land and their peoples. Super detail rich and well written.

10. Graveyard Shift by ML Rio, 4/5 stars. A good read for Halloween, and excited to see that ML Rio is publishing again! A thriller about 5 people trying to discover who made a new grave in an abandoned graveyard. As someone who works in academia, I liked the academia element in this story, I only wish it was longer!

I'm on track to finish my Goodreads Reading Challenge this year, which is 80 books. Usually I get somewhere in the 90s, but not this year I guess. For Nov and December, I'm planning on finishing the Sevenwaters series, and Chrestomanci, so I'll be prioritizing those books.

November tbr:

The Scorpio Races (reread on audio)

Child of the Prophecy (Sevenwaters 3)

Heir to Sevenwaters (Sevenwaters 4)

Chrestomanci: The Magicians of Caprona (book 4)

Paladin's Fate (Saint of Steel 4)

Nonfiction

The Word for Woman is Wilderness

Cape Cod (on audio?)

The Virgin in the Garden

[utilitycaster]

Can you share your name examples? Please!

under a cut in case people feel like guessing or something

putting syllables together and they sound nice: literally almost any fantasy book that doesn't use modern names but like, off the top of my head: Essun from The Broken Earth Trilogy. Sabriel and Lirael from The Old Kingdom Trilogy. Shallan from the Stormlight Archives. The vast majority of women's names in ASOIAF that aren't too close to irl names. No shortage of names in Wheel of Time.

putting syllables together and they sound like arthuriana: Egwene (Wheel of Time) is the big one for me.

Slightly altered irl name: Bunch of names in ASOIAF notably Eddard and Alicent. Really common in actual play (Revvetha is sort of a joke but sort of not; Belizabeth).

Extremely apt character descriptor you know who you are: Kaladin of the Stormlight Archives. As a paladin stan I must stan and the character genuinely is great but like. c'mon man.

Mashup of irl names: Brennan Lee Mulligan does this EXTREMELY often most notably with Raphaniel.

Something meaningful in an irl language: SILAHA is a great example. Idk Dune probably did this.

Something meaningful in an elaborate self-created conlang: welcome to Lord of the Rings, an opportunity for Tolkien to take his conlangs for a test drive.

Something meaningful in a foreign language siri set alarm etc: self-explanatory. look to your left look to your right if no one at the D&D table used an Elvish Translator then it's bc they used the fantasy name generator for a different fantasy race.

IRL names not in common usage: I suppose it's not exclusively but The Locked Tomb does have Palamedes and this is also a Classic D&D Naming Strat.

This is Linda and she fights dragons: Robert Baratheon, whatever the fuck is going on in Dune, when D&D characters are named things like Kristen or Beauregard or Imogen or Ashton. Also obviously true in almost any Earth-set fantasy; I have a taste for like, regency/Napoleonic Wars-set fantasy novels and so people are just named things like Thomas and Catherine and they are worried about Their Place In Society but also they are wizards.

Series of complex and mysterious titles: The Man with the Thistledown Hair from Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (speaking of normal-ass names in fantasy); The Emissary; The Man in Black. Often some kind of eldritch/otherworldly being but like, you could just decide that's your name in a D&D game. no one is stopping you.

Rigid Naming Conventions: offhand my problematic fave The Belgariad has some weird naming conventions (dryads all have names starting with X or, when softened into Tolnedran, Ce' as a prefix; acolytes of Aldur all have Bel- or Pol- prefixes to their names based on gender but the names themselves vary); the weird palindrome names in Stormlight Archives; The Vorkosigan Saga is sci fi and set in a future of our universe so many names are existing ones but the naming convention is often passing down the two grandfather's first names to the eldest son and other such things.

Pun or meme: again, D&D classic; Percival Friedrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III, every Crown of Candy PC.

Fantasy name generator already covered. who knows how many people are using it. who knows what data set it uses.

Acronym: I believe this is what Tav is in BG3; This is also I believe where Thedas comes from.

Literally just a noun: Fjord, Keg; The Belgariad has characters who technically are going by codenames bc they are from The Spy Country but practically speaking I cannot actually recall what Silk's actual name is off the top of my head and I've read those books like 5 times and he's a major character. Shadowheart is i guess two nouns but it's the same principle.

[kismetconstellations]

I found this Reddit thread, the other day, and got a good chuckle out of this particular response:

And, while Shiro having this sort of raw, incontestable, and unmatched power makes him a True Underappreciated Icon, it also stands as the loudest, most glaring testament to the Voltron: Legendary Defender showrunners not knowing what they were doing.

Basic Writing 101 would suggest that, if you intend to kill an important character off, you don't not only open your series on them, but continue to spotlight them as completely intrinsic to, and inextricable from your still ongoing narrative.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's death impacts Luke Skywalker, but doesn't cause the entire story of the original Star Wars trilogy to fall apart.

When Gandalf appears to die in The Fellowship of the Ring, his absence is felt, and impossible to ignore, but the journey of the other main characters continues, nevertheless, and his revival in The Two Towers only aids the narrative's progression, rather than derailing it.

This is due both to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf not being the central characters of these stories, and George Lucas and J.R.R. Tolkien knowing exactly what stories they intended to tell. And, not just competently tell them, but tell them in ways that have touched and continue to inspire generations of storytellers and story-enjoyers, alike.

The crew behind Voltron: Legendary Defender, however, seemed to have no idea what story they were trying to tell, to begin with, let alone how to tell it.

On its surface, this is a mecha cartoon series about four teenagers and one adult from Earth who find themselves jetted into space to, under the guidance of an alien princess and her quirky advisor, pilot giant robot lions that combine into an even bigger humanoid robot, and fight to free the universe from the tyranny of an evil alien empire. It's packaged as an ensemble show, in the vein of Teen Titans, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Justice League, most X-Men cartoon series, and so on. Thus, it can be presumed that no one character on the team is more important than any of the others.

While an attempt is, indeed, made to give each of the seven members of Team Voltron their own internal and external conflicts and days in the sun (with the exception of poor Coran, who exists primarily for comic relief, and viewers are scarcely given insight into anything beyond his quirky anecdotes, eccentric mannerisms, and fear of losing Allura), Shiro is overwhelmingly given the most emotional pathos and narrative significance.

The series opens on his abduction and imprisonment.

His escape from Zarkon's ship and recapture by the Galaxy Garrison is the impetus that launches the plot, and brings the five pilots of Voltron together.

He's specifically singled out as the de facto leader of Voltron, and given the most significant role of Paladin of its largest lion, and decisive head.

He has personal ties to all three of the major villains of the first two seasons as a direct victim of their cruelty, and as the series continues, this remains a trait exclusive to Shiro, and Shiro alone.

Sendak is Shiro's personal tormentor, something implied as early as the pilot,

and that continues to be emphasized in Sendak's subsequent appearances.

Haggar was responsible for the experiments conducted on Shiro that lead to the amputation of his right arm and its replacement with a weapon, and feels a sense of entitlement to Shiro's body.

It was Zarkon's ship that Shiro was held prisoner on after losing his crew, Zarkon was the previous Black Paladin, and Zarkon's persisting connection to the Black Lion is a conflict that Shiro ultimately elects to resolve on his own, even if it means a hand-to-hand fight to the death.

There are several episodes (Across The Universe, Space Mall) where the younger Paladins, Allura, and Coran are engaged in comedic shenanigans while Shiro is fighting for his life in explicitly high stakes situations.

Shiro's leadership, compassion, selflessness, and heroism are illustrated over and over again for Shiro's sake, and to it drive home for the audience just how incontrovertibly vital he is in the fight to overthrow Zarkon, and restore peace and liberty to the universe.

"Why are you helping me?"

"As a fighter, and a leader, you give hope."

Instead of writing Shiro as one component of a larger story, making his removal from it possible in the right hands, he was written as the heart of that story. Which rendered excising him from it an exercise in futility, as he is integral to every poignant narrative beat. I.E., his bond with Pidge/Katie being one of the major reasons she chooses to stay with the team instead of venturing out on her own to look for her father and brother.

Shiro is, in essence, Voltron: Legendary Defender's equivalent of Leonardo from the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series--The emotionally beleaguered, self-sacrificing and scarred (as of the end of the third season and entirety of the fourth, in Leonardo's case) leader, who is by far, the most skilled and experienced fighter, and spiritually advanced member of the team.

Leonardo, too, had personal connections to several of his series's most powerful and imposing recurring villains, with two of them (Karai and the Daimyo's son) hellbent on destroying him, specifically.

There are instances (The Shredder Strikes Back Part 1, and the episodes covering the Battle Nexus Tournament) where Leonardo faces higher stakes in juxtaposition to his brothers' lighter-hearted, more comedic exploits, and he underwent the most intensive character arc; battling feelings of anger, guilt, self-loathing, and PTSD before finally achieving inner piece and returning to his family as a more mature, composed, and even greater leader than he was, before.

What the staff behind Voltron: Legendary Defender effectively did is kill their show's Leonardo and replace him with Raphael (Keith). Then, aggressively backtrack on that decision by bringing in a clone of Leonardo who much, much (roughly four seasons) later turns out to have been an infiltrator created by a character with direct relation (Karai/Haggar) to the Turtles and Splinter's greatest enemy (Shredder/Zarkon) brainwashed to attempt to kill the real Leonardo's loved ones. Only for the clone to be taken out of commission during an emotionally-charged confrontation with Raphael, after which his consciousness is overwritten as the Real Leonardo's lifeforce is magically transferred into his body... Just so the newly resurrected and sorely missed Real Leonardo can mostly stand silently around, be disrespected, and do nothing of significance for the rest of the show.

Anyone with any knowledge of the Ninja Turtles franchise, this particular iteration of it, decent storytelling, or even a lick of common sense would tell you that this move is ill-advised, at best, and a terrible idea destined to crash and burn, at worst. But, these showrunners were, evidently, oblivious to their own poor decision-making and ineptitude, and chose to rip out the stitch that held their messily woven tapestry together, causing it to irreparably unravel right in front of their and their audience's eyes.

And, blaming Shiro for that blind incompetence is exactly like blaming that deliberately torn stitch.

[darealsaltysam]

hiya!! welcome to my blog!! im sam (she/her) and i like to write :3

since you're stopping by anyway, why not take a little look at my fics? i write on ao3 and have done work in many, many different fandoms! currently, you can find fics from the following;

ace attorney

fnaf

wynncraft

faith

the walking dead

star wars

paladins

the x-men movies

dsmp (mainly older, discontinued works)

below the cut i'm going to put more detailed descriptions of all of the fics i'm proudest of, so if any of the above fandoms interest you, take a little peek!!

ACE ATTORNEY

spiky twink rebooted

a very silly highschool au chatfic. crack with minimal angst here and there to carry some plot along, but it's very low-stakes. really just something i write for fun to wind down. perfect if ur looking for some good ol crack to turn your brain off to!

waiting for godot

a three-part fic exploring mia and diego's story in ace attorney - before, during, and after his coma. it goes into the background of their relationship and dives into godot's mentality after waking up and finding out about what happened to mia. angst with a somewhat bittersweet ending, canon compliant.

SOME OLDER FICS

Object Class: Fey - completed. an ace attorney scp au, very miego focused with some light background narumitsu. does not represent my current quality or style of writing, but i still enjoy the story a lot and am proud of the fic as a whole!

Time Paradox at The Turnabout - discontinued. a time travel fic of sorts. various different versions of various different characters travel to one time period, hijinks ensue. not that well-written and was never completed, but you might enjoy the concept!

the adventures of spiky twink and the burger queen - discontinued. older version of spiky twink rebooted - read that one instead!

spiky twink extras - discontinued. companion piece to the above. short stories within the universe, essentially!

FNAF

THE SCRIPTVERSE

the scriptverse is a trilogy of scripts + a prose prequel which seeks to retell fnaf lore completely. it sticks to canon in some parts but deviates in others, so it will surprise you even if you know the lore inside out! i made my own changes to the timeline, mixed and matched stuff from the movie, books and games... overall, just a big revamp of the whole thing, all told through movie scripts!

the series is made up of:

MR AFTON, a william-focused first part retelling the missing children incident

MR SCHMIDT [act 1], a michael-focused sequel retelling william's trial shortly after

MR SCHMIDT [act 2], a massive third part to the series which deals with the fallout of the murder and the trial, michael meeting jeremy, ghosts showing up in the pizzeria, and michael finding out he has a sister he didn't know about! crazy stuff!

mr emily & ms schmidt, a prose prequel to the series which focuses on how henry, william and his wife clara met

WYNNCRAFT

warm hands, cold hearts, gentle smiles (also holy shit is that bak'al over there?)

a fic which focuses on exploring the dynamics between the four twain brothers as kids + includes an appearance from wynncraft's favorite bitch boy. also, i made theorick less of a bitch by explaining WHY canon theo is such a bitch!

my legacy in death, your legacy in ice, our legacy in blood

a follow-up of sorts to the above fic, focusing on mael having to help nesaak post-theorick freezing it. the second half of the fic looks at the time mael spent training bob. all around lots of angst, some hurt/comfort in the second part, and a very, very bittersweet ending.

requiem

currently ongoing!!! an x reader fic that has you, the player, take on the role of the villain. you team up with bak'al to take revenge on someone who has wronged you. the fic, and even its description, contains BIG spoilers for wynncraft's late-game quests, most notably a journey further and a hunter's calling. it also explores some dark and uncomfortable themes, please refer to all relevant warnings!! read at your own risk!

OTHER FICS

closer, then you're close enough to lose - completed. a short, slykaar/bob one-shot based in an au i came up with together with @meefys !!

PALADINS

a city of self-fulfilling prophecies [paladins superhero au]

currently ongoing!!! a paladins superhero au that i've been putting together for years, and am now finally writing! most champions will be included as characters, with maeve, ying and lex as the three protagonists and corvus as the lead villain, alongside evie, cassie & kinessa, lian & rei, octavia and many others as major characters!

SOME OLDER FICS

the scholar loved the scion // and the scion loved the scholar, but not in the same way - completed. a short fic exploring a one-sided relationship between lian and rei. hurt, and no comfort!

FAITH

soul of christ (sanctify me)

a short fic which focuses on john and lisa's childhood, with a nice portion of catholic guilt and queer shame on the side (yes i projected onto john. no i am not sorry). very experimental but probably one of my personal fave works ever!!!

X-MEN (movies)

oh, i will ruin you (it's a habit, i can't help it)

a very short cherik one-shot, because they've infected my brain. it's just them flirting and making out tbh. nothing more nothing less. but i'm pretty proud of it!

again and again and again and again

a 5+1 exploring charles' post-first class depression era, from hank's perspective. lots of bitterness, lots of anger, lots of sad feels, and a bitter-sweet comfort ending.

and daddy made a soldier out of me

currently ongoing!!!! the first fic of two in a big xmen au i've been putting together for two months now!! the au itself involves a lot of concepts and combines them to form a more complex retelling of first class, the ten year gap, and dofp. the changes to the story include; - cherik as soulmates - erik raising wanda and pietro, then him and charles raising them together - after the beach, wanda leaves with erik, and pietro stays with charles - the twins grow up apart (and erik doesn't get arrested, so he actually gets to raise wanda) - dofp reunites the family forcefully - angst ensues! - also, a few other mcu characters have been added into the storyline as alternate no powers/human versions to themselves to help with plot stuff. this means the inclusion of wandavision!!

OTHER FICS

below you can find all my other fics - these i'm a little less confident in, because they're either older works or discontinued ones.

tommyinnit - dragonborn! - discontinued. dsmp skyrim au, sbi focused, secondary dream team focus. i really loved this fic and writing it but was forced to discontinue due to... stuff(tm). im still very passionate about the story and happy with what i wrote here, so i recommend it if you're into it.

The Between Dreams and Memories Series - discontinued. a complete retelling of the dsmp storyline. was planned to have 3 parts - same as above, forced to discontinue. contains 2 complete fics (part 1 and a spin off) and one unfinished fic (part 2 of the planned trilogy). one of the biggest fics on my account, a product of several years of work, and a very important work for me, even if its quality doesn't hold up. read if you wish!

a house full of serial killers VS the barbie movie starring margot robbie and ryan gosling - completed. a very very stupid creepypasta chatfic oneshot. i wrote it in one sitting because i was bored. it's nothing special, but it's pretty funny!

dance with the devil - completed. a very short dsmp oneshot, focusing specifically on c!niki and c!schlatt. im still pretty happy with how it turned out!

Deserve Better - completed. a pretty badly written who killed markiplier oneshot. darkstache focused. one of the first fics i ever posted!

laughter [anidala] - completed. a short star wars one-shot i wrote for my girlfriend, focusing on ani and padme!

mutual hatred builds character - completed. a short the walking dead one-shot, focused on maggie and negan. NOT SHIP! i just think they're a fun duo to study like bugs

[profiterole-reads]

2023 Favourites

In no particular order. This is content I've read and watched in 2023, not necessarily content released in 2023.

Books

1. Notorious Sorcerer by Davinia Evans: fantasy with some m/m. The protagonist travels to other planes for alchemical ingredients and ends up having to learn greater workings. I love the Byzantine vibe of the worldbuilding.

2. The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai: fantasy with some f/f. Two women, a waterweaver and an earthweaver, join a women's rights movement. I love the Egyptian-inspired worldbuilding.

3. Reforged by Seth Haddon: m/m fantasy. This King/Paladin novel has a surprising plot. The magic system is very original as well, I especially like the music part of it.

4. The Buried and the Bound by Rochelle Hassan: urban fantasy with some m/m (YA). The hedgewitch protecting the town teams up with a boy cursed to forget his true love and another one trapped as a bondservant.

5. [Spanish] Lazos de Sangre by LR Jeffers: m/m urban fantasy (erotica). This is a series about werewolves and big cat shifters, usually angsty and hot.

6. [French] Meute by Karine Rennberg: urban fantasy with some m/m + another protagonist is aroace and uses sign language. This is a novel about building your own werewolf pack. I think this is my first time encountering 2nd-person narration in French and it works surprisingly well.

7. Cascade by Rachel A. Rosen: science fantasy with mlm and wlw protagonists + no romance. An ecological disaster has freed magic. In Canada, the Party works with a wizard in order to try and save humanity. I love the intricacies of the plot, which skilfully mixes politics, science and magic.

8. Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell: m/m science fiction. Telepathy, my favourite trope, done by one of my fave authors! It was even better than I expected.

9. The Deep Sky by Yume Kitasei: science fiction/murder mystery with several non-binary major characters. 80 people from all around the world embark on a one-way interstellar voyage. As they're all required to get pregnant, they're obviously afab, but several are non-binary, with mentions of a trans man.

10. Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick: f/f romance (YA). This is a very romantic novel about two girls dating in secret until one gets amnesia. I enjoy this trope a lot.

TV shows

1. Good Omens: fantasy with queer protagonists + some f/f. I love the book and I love the adaptation. Season 2 is original content, but it's faithful to the spirit of the novel.

2. Shadow and Bone: fantasy with some m/m (YA). This successfully mixes the Shadow and Bone trilogy (that I haven't read) and the Six of Crows duology (that I have read and enjoyed).

3. Warrior Nun: fantasy with some f/f. Nuns literally fight against demons.

4. The Power: superpower fiction with some f/f + a trans woman and an intersex man. Teenage girls start developing an electrical superpower, which makes them safer from men.

5. Nü Er Hong: GL wuxia. This c-drama is a quick watch, with 27 episodes of 2 minutes. I love that these short webdramas always have more or less the same actresses.

6. The Devil Judge: dystopia/thriller with BL vibes. This k-drama has a tight plot and fascinating characters. There's a girl in a wheelchair and the rep is well done.

7. Naughty Babe: BL romance/murder (attempt) mystery. This Thai drama is the sequel to Cutie Pie, except that they switched up the main pairing and the secondary pairing. I think it's possible to watch it on its own.

8. Wedding Plan: BL + GL romcom. This Thai drama has mlm-wlw solidarity, which I hope to see more of in the future. There are also cameos from the BL couples from Love in the Air.

9. Oh! My Assistant: BL romcom. This hilarious k-drama is about a het porn webtoon creator and his assistant. Despite this topic, the drama is not explicit.

10. Welcome to the Lesbian Bar: GL contemporary fiction. This k-drama is a quick watch, with 5 episodes of 6 minutes. In each episode, 2 customers come have a drink and chat with the owner.

Movies

1. Barbie: fantasy that is so gender! This was such a big surprise coming from Hollywood.

2. Nimona: fantasy with a protagonist who is a trans/enby allegory + some m/m (YA). I haven't read the graphic novel, so this was more depressing than I expected (it deals a lot with discrimination), but still an excellent movie.

3. Wingwomen (Voleuses in the original French): action movie with a sapphic protagonist + f/f vibes between the other two. I love heist movies all about women.

4. Kill Bok-soon: action movie with some f/f. This Korean movie has interesting cinematography. Note that it's very violent, though.

5. Red, White & Royal Blue: m/m romcom. I love the book and I love the adaptation.

6. Anything's Possible: m/f romance with a trans female protagonist (YA). This is a very positive movie, about love, art and nature.

7. Fanfic: m/m romance with a trans male protagonist (YA). This Polish movie is sometimes dark, sometimes fun.

[wearepaladin]

Do you have any book recommendations of fantasy novels that contain compelling paladin characters? I'd love to read some but I'm not even sure where to look, so if you have any recs I'm very curious.

Recommending Paladin books always feels a little awkward to me because I’m not always certain the characters would actually be paladins in their own setting and are just a certain kind of conviction driven hero. That said, here are a pair of trilogies where the protagonist explicitly becomes a Paladin and both are well grounded so their character and acts of heroism are universal in their appeal.

The Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon. Moon deliberately wrote this book as someone tired of the Lawful Idiot stereotype and made a character we thoroughly enjoy becoming a Paladin, through both her highs and lows.

The Paladin Trilogy by Daniel M. Ford. Honestly my favorite self contained fantasy trilogy I’ve read in a while. A lot of the really modern fantasy books tend to be hard for me to jump into since they tend to go on forever. Ford’s Paladin Trilogy is smart, has an excellent Paladin’s journey, and has one of my favorite examples of watching a low fantasy setting evolve into a high fantasy one.

[anghraine]

fanny-price-defense-squad replied to this post:

@anghraine who was it???

Oh!! I was so foggy when I posted the "which Austen character mainly contributed to my dissertation" poll that I actually completely forgot it existed. The people actually did vote, if barely, for the right choice—Mary Crawford!

(Darcy was right behind her in the poll but barely mentioned in the dissertation, while Henry Crawford—who only got 1.5% of the vote—also figured pretty significantly.)

Now I'm looking at other results of my own polls over the last year, as well:

The "Why is Elrohir's name in Gondorian rather than Elvish Sindarin" poll result: a strong vote for "actually it's Númenórean Sindarin" (the assumption I've always made myself, but it was interesting to think about other possibilities, since Tolkien never explained it).

The "Pick a fave from my Tolkien faves from each major text" poll result: Faramir narrowly beat out Gandalf with everyone else far behind (the closest was Lúthien).

The "pick a fave from my faves from five fandoms" poll result: Faramir again, closely beating out Luke Skywalker and Fitzwilliam Darcy (Moiraine and Gwen Thackeray never had a chance).

The "best dead guy from my dissertation" poll result: Jonathan Swift just squeaked past Olaudah Equiano!

The two women's wrongs polls: the first poll result was Clytemnestra, the second Azula.

The "what's your headcanon for the unexplained reasons the Stewards were not in the line of succession despite being descendants of Anárion" poll: by a huge margin, actually, the people chose "they were formally removed from the succession in exchange for the powers of the Stewardship."

The "pick your favorite video game/series" poll result: a very unsurprising and easy win for the Mass Effect trilogy (with BG3 the only thing even remotely near).

The "why do those of you who also like fics about ostensibly cis male characters in canon being genderbent to women" poll result: it's interesting to imagine how the character and plot would be affected, slightly beating out the option for "I neither like nor dislike the fics as a genre, I just like the good ones."

The "vote between my top Spotify Wrapped songs" poll results: "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac slightly beat out Florence + The Machine's "King" and Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever" (both exactly tied in close second place).

The "what is the best non-canon FemShep pairing" poll result: Shepard/Jack won pretty handily!

The "which of my ~controversial headcanons do you like best" poll result: Elizabeth and Darcy have separate bedrooms and this is good for their marriage.

The "which non-canon Darcy ship is best" poll result: Darcy/Anne Elliot, which mildly surprised me (I like it but am not sure they'd get around to talking to each other), beating out the world conquest pairing of Darcy/Emma.

The "which of my selected Queen songs is the most purely beautiful in your opinion" poll result: "Under Pressure" (with David Bowie), narrowly beating out "The Show Must Go On."

The "what would be the most awesome class/subclass for my Seldarine drow in BG3" poll result: Paladin of Vengeance! (I actually did make her and am just getting back into playing BG3 again after dissertation hell derailed her avenging of injustices.)

The "who played your favorite Marguerite St. Just" poll result: Jane Seymour, easily.

[astralscrivener]

✨ fic directory ✨

i’ve created a post to keep all of my fics in one place. all fics can be found on ao3. (last updated may 4th, 2024)

major ongoing works

STEALING OUR OWN PLACE IN THE SUN

- voltron: legendary defender: a rewrite of vld seasons 4-8. - team focus, broganes, klance, adashi, romellura - rated M, graphic depictions of violence + other warnings in author notes - 22/45 chapters, 251k words (december 25th, 2022) - last posted: chapter 22: season 7, episode 3: elliptical orbit

AT SKYFALL

- voltron: legendary defender: canon-divergent au in which keith and shiro are captured by the galra at a coalition gala. things become more complicated when the team’s search for shiro turns up someone else: adam, shiro’s fiancé.  - broganes, klance, adashi - rated M, graphic depictions of violence + other warnings in author notes - 8/? chapters, 25k words (september 2nd, 2023) - last posted: chapter 8: division and discord

ABCS OF KLANCE

- voltron: legendary defender: oneshots, one prompt for each letter of the alphabet, focused on keith and lance’s relationship - variety of aus, some overlap with squad up (2017-19 modern au), mostly established relationship klance - 18 works, 87k words (may 4th, 2024) - a: artistry • b: brutality • c: comfort • d: defeat • e: elegance • f: faithfulness • g: grief • h: homelessness • i: information • j: jealousy • k: knell • l: loyalty • m: mercy • n: need • o: opportunity • p: pain • q: quest • r: rumor • s: sleep • t: trust • u: uncertainty • v: victory • w: worry • x: xenon • y: yearning • z: zero - last posted: lightning in a bottle (y: yearning)

other ongoing works

THESE 20S ARE RAWRING AND THESE DUNGEONS ARE DRAGONING

- voltron: legendary defender: modern au + d&d series started in 2020 as a stress response to quarantine - team focus, klance, adashi, romellua, hunay

• main work: the rawring 20s XD - chatfic that only updates if i think it will be funny - rated M, no archive warnings apply + other warnings in author notes - 5/5 chapters, 17k words - last posted: chapter 5: there is no easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy, (september 8th, 2022)

- other works include klance-centric oneshots + snippets of the group’s ongoing d&d campaign - 5 works, 37k words - last posted: midnight into morning coffee (february 7th, 2024)

VLD FIC REQUESTS

- voltron: legendary defender: oneshots across a variety of aus written in response to prompts from friends and followers - variety of ships, but mainly klance and adashi - some overlap with squad up  - 15 works, 92k words (july 8th, 2023) - last posted: distraction

major completed works

DECEIT SO NATURAL

- voltron: legendary defender: canon-divergent trilogy in which lance and keith fool their way behind enemy lines and onto lotor’s ship to steal vital information on the galra empire—only for lotor to become far more dangerous than anyone anticipated. - mainly klance, extremely one-sided lancelot - written before gay shiro reveal + age discourse, contains side shallura - 3 works, 315k words - completed june 15th, 2018

• WHERE PEOPLE GO TO DIE - lotor mistakenly believes that lance is a galra soldier spying on the paladins, and invites him to return home. keith follows him undercover as a prisoner, and quickly draws lotor’s ire as things spiral rapidly out of control. - rated M, graphic depictions of violence - 14/14 chapters, 49k words - completed july 9th, 2017

• DYNASTY DECAPITATED - lotor becomes vindictive after having been played for a fool by team voltron, and the team struggles to hold the voltron alliance together while fending off his rapid advances. meanwhile, keith and lance explore a new stage of their relationship and learn exactly what the other means to them. - rated M, graphic depictions of violence - 18/18 chapters, 67k words - completed august 7th, 2017

• STARS GO DOWN - lotor has captured lance and sentenced keith to death halfway across the universe. lance struggles to hold onto himself as he plays the role of an amnesiac, while keith attempts to fight his way back to the team, alone. meanwhile, the team, down two lions and two paladins, scrambles to bring keith and lance home amidst betrayals and tumult in the voltron alliance. - rated M, graphic depictions of violence, temporary major character death + other warnings in author notes - 37/37 chapters, 198k words - completed june 15th, 2018

SQUAD UP

- voltron: legendary defender: modern au written from 2017-19 to cope with the horrors of being in high school and the transition into college - written before gay shiro reveal + age discourse, contains side shallura and shiro/allura/matt - 25 works, 561k words - completed may 10th, 2019

• main work: squad up - chatfic chronicling the gang’s last year of high school - rated M, no archive warnings apply + other warnings in author note - 140/140 chapters, 327k words - completed june 15th, 2018

• main work: a midsummer night’s meme - chatfic chronicling the gang’s last summer before college - rated M, no archive warnings apply + other warnings in author note - 27/27 chapters, 79k words - completed august 31st, 2018

• main work: because guys like us are cool in college - series of oneshots/snippets following keith and lance’s freshman year of college - rated M, no archive warnings apply + other warnings in author note - 84/84 chapters, 83k words - completed may 10th, 2019

LIGHT UP THE PATH (THROUGH A SKY FULL OF STARS)

- voltron: legendary defender: 28 oneshots completed for klance au month february 2019. - klance - variety of aus, including but not limited to modern au, canon-divergent/other paladinsverse, fantasy au, and more - rated M, creator chose not to use archive warnings + other warnings in author note - 28/28 chapters, 49k words - completed february 28th, 2019

additional oneshots not mentioned here can be found on archive of our own ✨ other writing (including drabbles, snippets, and prompts from tumblr ask games) can be found in my writing tag ✨

happy reading!

[dndhistory]

487. Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman - Test of the Twins (1986)

The third and final volume of the Dragonlance Legends series, Test of the Twins gives us a conclusion to the Majere saga as twin brothers Caramon and Raistlin Majere move inexorably towards a climatic finale. 

Weirdly enough, for a story that is supposed to focus on the triad of Caramon, Raistlin and Paladin Cleric Crysania, the book spends the majority of its time with Caramon and Tasslehoff Burrfoot, the somewhat annoying kender, and even Tanis Halfelven gets more page-time than Raistlin who's story this ostensibly is. 

It is therefore a bit of a hit and miss book, a bit unfocused; it only really comes into its own when we return to the relationship of the twins or follow Raistlin's devious plans to take over Krynn. Fortunately the book gets better towards the end, with a truly emotional finale that puts an end to the story of the (not so) nefarious Raistlin and sees Caramon ready for a new stage in his own life.This was also Weis and Hickman's (temporary) goodbye to Dragonlance, however the success of the series meant that it wouldn't take long for TSR to get them back on board for new stories, and this would be the story for the foreseeable future, leaving and coming back, sometimes with bigger gaps or some kind of conflict with TSR or WotC, but Weis and Hickman would always be so tightly connected to this world that their voices would always be valuable.  So much so that next month, in 2024, there will be a new Dragonlance book by them, another conclusion to another trilogy. 

[ladyhindsight]

So, God definitely exists and Lilith is having her own fashion show whenever she appears. That’s cool. Anyway. It has taken ages to even summon any will power to finish the book, the whole year so far has been personal chaos, but now as the storm has ceased and I had couple days off to just lay down on my sofa to power through this monstrosity, all I am left with is a major what the fuck. Expectations were close to zero and Chain of Thorns still went right under it.

Just minutes before I finally finished Chain of Thorns and I don’t even know what it all was for. The major things holding this story together is everyone’s damn pride and fear of being pitied—obstacles which all of them have to overcome. James and Cordelia are both too proud to be pitied, but narrative-wise there is this perpetual pity party going on. All this ruminating over Things That Never Were and Stuff That Is Forever out of Reach is just whole lot of words for whole lot of nothing, especially when the ending to their relationship is nothing if not predictable. The purple prose doesn’t make me feel anything, doesn’t resonate with me on any level, and I can’t connect to it because in the grand scheme of the story, it is based on false perception created by the unwillingness to be truthful. In the end, all that angst and wondering about the feelings at every turn, it is a waste of time.

Every character is so driven by their self-loathing, seriously bordering on self-pity, and pride that all their motivations blur into the same mess. The unwillingness to be truthful, powered by the pride of each character, is the force for which the plot can even reach the points it wants. Clare truly is a master of creating this endless but absolutely done-to-death emotional circle she just keeps recycling in every trilogy she manages to publish. Writing is the same as ever, dialogue is a pathway to always just tell things, it’s also hand-holding and over-bearing: “It seems the Inquisitor has hurt his right arm.” “He was branded on his arm by Belial.” “So that’s why he was holding it like it hurt!” No shit?! Stop it. On a positive note, I think the series is more emotionally aware and intelligent compared to The Mortal Instruments and even The Infernal Devices, where the emotional awareness only encompassed Clary, Jace, Will, Jem, and Tessa. Not completely without its grievances, but when are these books ever?

The plot served its purpose, I guess. Cordelia becoming a paladin of Lilith served its role in saving James and defeating Belial. Others had their own stories and relationships but were helpful and sometimes integral for the story to progress. It’d be otherwise fine if the book didn’t forget the actual plot for a major part of its duration and exchanged it for useless inter-character dramatics and constant cliffhangers. Additionally, it’s just that the whole Watcher thing (like the Grigori?) was clear from miles away. Whenever Clare introduces a new but a very basic element to the Shadowhunter world THAT SHOULD HAVE EXISTED ALREADY and explains it through a character (this time Cordelia), it’s a dead giveaway. So the tease They wake + the Iron Tombs = waiting two thirds of the book for the characters to catch up with you. The story is so infected with repetitive narrative, drama and self-loathing, pseudo-profound ponderings on love and pride, and I am sick of even thinking about any of it.

Maybe one day I have something else to say about the book in general, but not today. My brain has once again been obliterated. So, as usual, some thoughts and notes and more in-depth grievances:

CORDELIA CARSTAIRS AND JAMES HERONDALE. They come together, because I have no coherent thoughts about James or Cordelia. They were there and did their protagonist duties. Of course there was a love triangle. Blah, blah. I just didn’t like Cordelia in this installment as much as the previous ones. Maybe her pride took so much center stage that her previous kindness and compassion were overshadowed by it and self-righteousness. Her bravery is no longer bravery but same thoughtlessness of every other Clare heroine. James was there, hoorah. No, but seriously. James’ trauma was so in-depth analyzed and told, his feeling of pain and anguish and anger relished in so much that the writing was incapable of coming up with anything new to say instead of regurgitating same things over and over again. Also, Cordelia was constantly aware of James’ bracelet when he wore it, but never mentioned it once he stopped wearing it for good?

THOMAS LIGHTWOOD AND ALASTAIR CARSTAIRS. They worked out, yay. Don’t know why they love each other, but okay. Their romance was a nice and carrying force through some bleak scenes in the book. Alastair becoming more open and comfortable in showing affection was lovely. Turned out great.

ANNA LIGHTWOOD AND ARI BRIDGESTOCK. See the above. Same sentiments. But much like with Thomas and Alastair, most of the development happened in this final instalment and pretty hastily too. And like the above pair, I feel like a lot of the progress came with transforming the characters into unrecognizable version of themselves too quickly. I was happy that Ari was able to connect with her mother again and Flora could flourish (lol) without the stifling presence of her husband, but I also feel like I’ve seen this setting where a bad and homophobic husband and father gets a metaphorical kick to his ass and goes away in order for the life to be better for his family without him.

LUCIE HERONDALE. Lucie was generally great. No hard feelings. It’s a bit contrived that it is precisely the canoodling of Jesse that brings her closer to the dead, but whatever. Love that her weapon of choice is an ax.

MATTHEW FAIRCHILD. Matthew’s story ends on a somber note. While Matthew definitely was not one of my favorite characters, I hoped he could’ve had something more to him than James and Cordelia. His journey to sobriety continues, which was great that it wasn’t over just like that, but the reason for his drinking was such a huge thing that was carried throughout the books, so it was disappointing to see it quickly addressed in the epilogue. Matthew deserved more than a hasty redemption in the end.

CHARLES FAIRCHILD. There are other people that are dying, Charles!! is what I am left with. I am absolutely aghast how Charles’ character was treated. I can’t believe that Clare still managed to write one more let’s push this character out of the closet because it is The Right Thing to Do scenario in her books. Charles has to brave the world and lose what he has to lose because his dreams and aspirations, according to the narrative, are worth nothing because he is more privileged than other people. Charles coming out with his sexuality is set against the choice of standing with or against his family as if there was no other way to solve this but guilt Charles into doing the right thing so he can’t be blackmailed anymore. Nobody cares, your family loves you—then what are the stakes here then, in their homophobic society that time and time again fails to deliver any consequence while existing as this ostracizing boogeyman?

I hoped there was some sort of ploy that Charles intended to execute in order to remove the thorn from his mother’s side and replace the Inquisitor with someone who was more fair and just and capable. At once, when Tessa said that Charles is just misguided, I knew it wouldn’t be because Tessa is never wrong. So all there is this dumb blackmailing plot whose only merit is to have Maurice Bridgestock removed from his position as Inquisitor. It did not serve Charles’ character in any way nor were his story with his family or Matthew in any way concluded.

GRACE BLACKTHORN. While discussing Grace, Christopher says that Grace was just a child when she was forced to act on James. Thomas says it doesn’t matter with anger and fury. Matthew equates Grace’s actions to a murder, as you do. While Will’s actions against Tatiana are in no way comparable to Grace’s, it is strange how Will being twelve is mentioned as if in order to act as an extenuating circumstance, while this doesn’t apply to Grace. It is also weird how everyone else’s torment is mulled over, used as an excuse for some type of behavior, but Grace's abuse and manipulation at the hands of Tatiana and Belial isn’t taken into consideration by anyone else than Jem? Also why did Cordelia get to vanquish Tatiana and not Grace? Grace’s treatment in this book, along with Charles, was just painful.

JESSE BLACKTHORN. Much like James, he is a stale piece of wheat bread. Only thing I have in mind about Jesse is that I found it a bit over the top, out of the little character he had, that he was so angry at Grace so that he left her. Jesse reacted exactly the way I feared Cordelia would react to Alastair. I was hoping for angry but sad and disappointed approach since Jesse knew better than anyone what Grace has lived through. Also, why Jesse (or Grace) wasn’t given time with his uncles who had wanted to get to know him for ages?

CHRISTOPHER LIGHTWOOD. My sweet cheese, my goodtime boy. Characters Clare writes most often only know the strongest of emotions. They always react with anger, defensiveness, and passion; by shouting, by self-righteous fury, by everything that is so exhausting to always read. Most of the characters are that, and am I so happy how Clare stayed true to Christopher’s temperate and serene nature, even when his cousin/best friend has been greatly wronged. And when everyone was so angry at Grace, Christopher was the only one to see reason. So, WHY THE FUCK HE DIED? No one, but most of all Cordelia herself never acknowledge that Kit died protecting her.

The “false” family tree lead the story on how Kit and Grace would probably become a couple, and would’ve made sense since they bonded over science and their minds were alike while they were so unalike in other ways, but boom. Kit dies, and Grace is left to figure out the fire messages on her own, because otherwise there wouldn’t be that obstacle of not being able to reach the Shadowhunters in Idris. Kit died for a shock value and so that a measly little plot point could work. Also great how the Lightwoods always have their children killed?? We never even see Gabriel and Cecily mourning?? Eugenia was weirdly chipper after just losing another one of her family members?? All these pages dedicated to romance bullshit that will solve itself but not for this.

TATIANA BLACKTHORN. Tatiana is a fiend, a terrible demon-worshipping, toddler-kidnapping fiend, but also a cartoonish one at that. It’s just overdone. She was made uglier and uglier, the machinator of evil things, and then she died. Voilà. There is one narrative aspect that was weird though. The Herondales and the Lightwoods insist on having tried their all to help Tatiana who always refused, but when Jesse confronts his mother, he says:

“I have come to know them by now. There is truth much harsher. One I think you know. They have not tried to ruin you over all these years. They have not plotted your downfall. They have barely even thought of you at all.”

Sick burn, but which is it? Adamantly trying to help her or not thinking about her at all?

MAURICE BRIDGESTOCK. A cartoon character with a cartoon ending. A homophobe bigot who got what he deserved, but a cartoonish character still. He was jealous of the Herondales and thus was an antagonist. Why is everyone obsessed with the Herondales in every damn book?

ESME HARDCASTLE. Esme was shoved in there in order to explain the “found family tree”, which at some point, I have no doubt, was how things were supposed to be, until Clare had more ideas for the Edwardian kids. No other characters in whole of TSC have gone through so many changes as these characters have. And as such, to keep the predictability at minimum—which isn’t a lot—the old family tree is made up by Esme, so Clare can spin this tale why it wasn’t accurate. Grace didn’t marry Christopher, Alastair didn’t have children (probably?). Then Clare had all these surprise babies coming because the way she chose to end the story for the Edwardian kids would mean no Emma, no Clary as we know them. So new Carstairs baby, new Fairchild twins.

i. The beginning of the prologue is over-saturated with flowery prose and similes that the narrative gets buried underneath.

ii. James is worried about Lucie, but more importantly needs to find her so he can go back to worrying about Cordelia and Matthew.

iii. The whole series has been a barrage of period typical social etiquette and decorum fed to you with a spoon. Even The Infernal Devices wasn’t this intent on it. Men did not usually accompany even wives or sisters into a dressmakers shop. What do you care about mundane decorum, you are Shadowhunters! Have some etiquette of your own.

iv. “…one of the modistes attacked the closures at the back of Cordelia’s dress without requiring any instruction—clearly she had done this before—and pushed and pulled at Cordelia as if she was a stuffed mannequin.” CcLeEaRrLy. You just told she didn’t need instruction, the rest is rather obvious. And I hope she knew what she was doing, she works there!!

v. Then there is this ridiculously complicated sentence: “Madame Beausoleil, who kept her salon on the Rue de la Paix, where the most famous dressmakers in the world—the House of Worth, Jeanne Paquin—were situated, was, according to Matthew, well acquainted with the Shadow World.” Like, what. Honey. Darling. “Madame Beausoleil kept her salon on the Rue de la Paix, where the most famous dressmakers in the world—the House of Worth, Jeanne Paquin—were situated. She was, according to Matthew, well acquainted with the Shadow World.” Or does that info about the location have to be there at all? Surely there were plenty other paragraphs where you could’ve stuffed that.

vi. Apparently this, apparently that, apparently everything! Whenever Clare uses such a word, it is a sign that she is unnecessarily feeling the need to justify why she is giving some particular piece of information or why a character is making an observation they could realistically make.

vii. Cordelia’s savings to pay Matthew for the dresses? What savings? From what and where?

viii. There are so many parentheses explaining things

ix. There is not a one scene in Paris where Cordelia doesn’t think how other people might see her and Matthew as a couple. Every time, which is in basically every scene they have in public, someone watches them and admires them and their “young love.”

x. “I have never heard anyone sound as if they were in such pain. Jamie, you must talk to us.” Yes, no one has ever been in greater pain than James Herondale, and that has the stamp of approval of Will Herondale so it really means something.

xi. a lot of the gray is gunmetal gray

xii. Having Tatiana comment on Jem’s appearance as Silent Brother and call it privilege for knowing the Lightwoods and Herondales doesn’t take away the fact that it is awfully convenient that Jem isn’t bald or his face isn’t sown shut. Though I get the intent behind this was to elicit such reaction as how awful of Tatiana! She doesn’t know anything Jem has suffered! It was not his choice! and the like. Blah.

xiii. What is it with these YA books in which waiters always give the characters their unsolicited opinions on people’s orders?

xiv. I assume Madame Dorothea of Brooklyn named herself after this famed Madame Dorothea of Paris. Why didn’t Malcolm go to her about Annabelle? I don’t remember if there ever was a mention of it.

xv. When Lucie tells the truth about Jesse and her powers to Magnus and Will, the PoV changes from James to Lucie with no indication of PoV change:

xvi. “James thought of the box of matches in his pocket, each one a sort of signal light that, when struck, summoned Jem to his side. He did not know how the magic worked, nor did he think Jem would tell him even if asked.” Just leave this part out, readers will think it’s just magic and that’s it. Now this just sounds that you couldn’t bother to think about it and just tried to explain possible scrutiny away. This instead just points more to the fact that you have no clue how the magic in your world works.

xvii. “James returned to the house, crawling into bed with his coat still on.” James can’t return to the house and crawl into his bed at the same time.

xviii. Take a shot every time the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal is said in TSC

xix. It’s annoying how Matthew speaks so lowly of Charles wanting to keep Alastair a secret when their own society supposedly sucks ass and enables shame and discrimination

xx. Cordelia only accepts Matthew’s affections once she thinks she has truly lost James. Why did she want to kiss Matthew if she didn’t even fancy him? She just selfishly used him and his love to forget her own mistakes, which I didn’t like about her at all. But that of course just fed into the love triangle that Clare is so insistent on writing in each one of her series, and the end couple is always obvious.

xxi. “…and James could remember, painfully, what kissing Cordelia was like, hotter and better than any fire.” I don’t think being burned by fire is good?

xxii. It’s torturous—and not in the good giddy way—how Clare finds even the tiniest excuse to prolong James and Cordelia finally getting together. “I should tell her the truth but Cordelia looked so happy with Matthew, so I didn’t.” Good grief.

xxiii. “Pity and kindness were not love. Only free choice was love; if he had learned nothing else from the horror of the bracelet, he had learned that.” Only a free choice to those who are free to love and go for that love and their dreams without having to make a choice between either. So fuck that.

xxiv. Ari didn’t bring any clothes with her when she left her parents. “She’d have to buy new things.” WITH WHAT MONEY? FROM WHERE? HER “STIPENDS” WENT TO LIVING EXPENSES! EXPLAAAIN

xxv. “At the breakfast table sat Anna’s brother Christopher, and, of all people, Eugenia Lightwood.” Yes, out of all the people in this world that is sitting at the table is Anna’s cousin. Truly odd.

xxvi. “The Institute is the safest place in London when it comes to demons; if he did somehow attack, the whole Enclave would retreat here as a matter of policy.” Not when it comes to the Jack the Ripper one in The Whitechapel Fiend.

xxvi. Will discusses Tatiana’s vengeance for being wronged: “Will sighed. “That was me. I read her diary out loud at a Christmas party, long ago. I was twelve. And I was quite severely punished, so in fact, the Enclave was on her side.”’ No, he wasn’t. And the whole Enclave punished Will? Please. There was no culpability, no apology, and no admission of guilt. And he also broke Gabriel’s arm. This is an attempt afterwards to alleviate the guilt on Will’s end when it comes to Tatiana’s madness. More realistic approach, less let’s-make-Will-more-shiny-and-not-at-all-a-participant-in-Tatiana’s-insanity would be something like: “That was me. I read her diary out loud at a Christmas party, long ago. I was twelve, but that’s on me.” And they would’ve gone on that it didn’t matter because in grand scheme of things it was such a miniscule thing.

xxvii. Take a shot every time the writing tries to stealthily prop up Will and Tessa as good and kind. Clare is really adamant at making the Herondales victims at every turn.

xxviii. “Benedict Lightwood brought down vileness upon his family, and Tatiana could not accept either his culpability or her own.” True, yet funny how the same does not apply to the ones who are on the right side of things. Accepting culpability on all that…

xxix. “He thrust the hand at James, who slashed an iratze across Matthew’s palm, followed by two Energy runes. He would not normally give Matthew, or anyone, more than one, but they would act as knives, cutting through any fog in Matthew’s brain.” One very profound problem (which I will bring up with TMI in time) is that this excerpt reveals that Clare thinks we know how runes work, when she has in actuality laid no groundwork for it. Is there a limit how many runes one can bear at once? What are the adverse effects of too many energy runes? What if you use iratze when you don’t need one? Are there runes that, when used at the same time, might hinder the effect of one another?

xxx. Take a shot every time a character narrates other characters on how much they have changed.

xxxi. “Now, Thomas has lost a sister and a friend as close as his brother, all in one year.” Weird way to say a cousin. You surely mean his cousin as close as his brother??

xxxii. “Grace said, not unkindly, “I’ve come to know Lucie quite well, you know, the last months. She was probably as close to a friend as I ever had.”’ Christopher was her friend, hellooo???

xxxiii. There seems to be a theme that whenever things are getting hot and heavy, something abrupt happens and interrupts the scene. Not that I am complaining, interrupt that awkward shit.

xxxiv. The bodies of the Iron Sisters and Silent Brothers don’t decay, but so what? Everyone else gets burned after dying, why not them also? Are they not inflammable? Also, what a great opportunity to mention Abigail Shadowhunter and David the Silent, but did we just once again wave at that opportunity as it passed by? Yes, we did.

xxxv. “Alastair waved his hand. “Yes, yes. It has been Roman and Saxon and now it will be demon. It has survived plague and pestilence and fire—”’ Best quote.

xxxvi. “It is easy to confuse monstrousness and power,” said Cordelia. “Especially when one is a woman, as one is not supposed to possess either quality.” Again, a weird fucking take for people whose numbers are dwindling and need all the fighting power they can get and half of that power are women

xxxvii. “he had been sure, somehow, that Cordelia would come after him, would find a way. And it did not surprise him at all that Lucie had not left her side.” James sure has faith in his sister to rescue him in dire need. No, Lucie came because Cordelia came. Whatever, what do I care.

What, in the end, was the true purpose of this trilogy? What merit is to it that it exists? How has The Wicked Powers become richer for having The Last Hours precede it? It’s actually devastating how inconsequential all of this is. The true Belial has been vanquished, but another demon has taken his place as Belial. Is this new Belial even a fallen angel or just some demon? Because otherwise he is not like the rest of the Princes at all. I would’ve hoped that at least one thing, like Emma getting to finish Belial with Cortana, would’ve given this trilogy even a little bit more purpose. 700+ pages and all is still left rather unfinished. Nothing at least feels concluded other than James and Cordelia’s love for each other being stronger than a Prince of Hell is capable of breaking. Blergh.

[Additional notes]