#Painnn

[wolsim]

"I saved myself." My Demon (2023 - 2024), dir. Kim Jang Han

[girlsloveupdates]

Me after this scene:

[ormymarius]

this still of Atlanna with Junior just has me thinking of what life could’ve been like if Atlanna escaped Atlantis to go to the surface with baby Orm

[gojuo]

alicent couldn't take her eyes off aegon in case he stopped breathing without her there 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[usernamepassword174]

"Did you hurt yourself?"

[rivertigo]

shirt that says I’d rather be jacking off

[muniimyg]

It hurt so bad, but I love your writing so much. I'm always looking forward for your updates ❤️

thank u!

not sure when the next update is,, i feel a little winded after writing all that 😭

also i had the WORST time trying to post it,, tumblr wasn’t saving my edits and my tags weren’t posting … i redid that post like 5 times. i sacrified 2 hrs of sleep last night JUST for the edits to not be saved HAISKDKEJWJKDJAA

[lovellumi]

I’m a little sad…

I mean I didn’t really think I’d actually physically get pregnant, but I still had a tiny hope for a miracle.

[jellyjamheadobb]

[cirrusea]

Love road trips. Hate sleeping in hotels or rather NOT sleeping in hotels

[sadpurpleblood]

the war on ads and im fucking losing

[limetameta]

Maes in 03 didn't serve in Ishval this is a travesty he behaves more like a man whos been on the front than Brotherhood Maes 😭😭😭

[u3pxx]

i waanna draw but my fuckign arms hurts like shit

[beauzos]

i hate mice i hate them!!! one little bitch came in my room!! i wanna go to bed!!! i have work!!!

[ivyprism]

Still Here (A Hydrangea Sea's Song Story)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, pain, blood, alcohol, etc.

Hydrangea's hands stroked the pages of her books as she flipped them. She scrutinized every paper, every note, every picture… Her hand trembles as she comes to a halt. She shuts her eyes and sighs. She saw the notes her former crew members would leave for her, playfully teasing her, adding to her stories, and providing additional information.

"Musing through memories... Losing my grip in the gray..."

Hydrangea sets the glass down in her hand. She shuts her eyes and reflects. She was losing hope. She recently lost her home and is currently in a different location far from home.

"Numbing the senses... I feel you slipping away...'

Hydrangea sinks her face into her hands. She shuts her eyes as she recalls joyful moments, but the happy memories are replaced with pain, screaming, and blood… The frigid water when she stepped into it.

"Fighting to hold on... Clinging to just one more day..."

Hydrangea firmly closes her eyes. She lets out a quiet sigh as she feels her consciousness fragment…

------

She had returned to the ship. She was looking around the room. As Aerwyna dragged her up to the deck, she smiled. She grins as she takes in her surroundings. Calder drew her in as they examined the group. Her eyes welled up as she saw a storm approaching, and her stomach dropped. She tries to speak to her group… But she can't fully understand what she's saying as she watches the flames burn and the storm rage.

"Love turns to ashes... With all that I wish I could say."

Hydrangea had returned to the ship. She was watching her pals struggle for their life, wanting to help but being powerless. As Aegir shoved her out of the path, she couldn't move. She awakens when she hits the water.

"I'd die to be where you are... I tried to be where you are!"

--------

Hydrangea hums while she sings in a slightly slower tone. As the tavern turns towards her, she leans back. She sings with her eyes closed.

"Every night I dream you're still here... The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear!"

Hydrangea sings as she recalls wonderful memories and dreams she wishes she could save. She was with the gang, and they were having fun and winning…

But those were just dreams, weren't they?

"When I awake, you'll disappear~... Back to the shadows... With all I hold dear... With all I hold, dear..."

As the group begins to sway to her voice, she sings. She wished she could be with the gang. She wished she could get out of here.

"I dream you're still here... (I dream you're still here~...) I dream you're still here..."

As she finally leaves for her inn, the audience applauds. She was still thinking about them. Their chuckles, their smiles, the way Conway would join in, the way they all did… Despite the fact that some of them couldn't sing to save their lives.

------

"Hidden companion... Phantom be still in my heart..."

As she walks to the burial, Hydrangea's hands trace the mountain trees. She buried her friends beside the graveyard. She noticed the flowers she had planted herself. When she sees the grave, her hands quiver.

"Make me a promise that.. Time won't erase us~... That we were not lost from the start..."

As she collapses on her knees, Hydrangea half-begs for the gravesite. Her hands shake as she touches the grave. Her eyes were blurred by tears. Her soul ached. She wanted them here.

She wanted to go home.

She wanted to be with her family.

"I'd die to be where you are... I tried to be where you are..."

She cursed the Gods silently. Why was she spared? What did she do wrong? Why was she cursed? What did she do wrong? Was it only the fact that she was born? They couldn't even offer her death as a mercy. As she sobbed, she closed her eyes.

"Every night I dream you're still here... The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear~..."

She sang quietly to the tombs. She recalls times when she was alone and had a dream that they were close to her.

"When I awake, you'll disappear... Back to the shadows! With all, I hold dear... With all I hold, dear..."

Wynter encourages her, Aerwyna teaches her social tips, Delmare uses her as a model, Tethys' words of encouragement as they prepare her favorite meal, Calder teaches her how to use her rapier more effectively, Aegir scolds her as he heals her after a mission, and Conway assisted her in performing when she needed it... But then that memory ends as she thinks back to that stormy night.

------

"I dream you're still here (every night I dream you're still, every night)... I dream you're still here...."

She was quietly writing the fictional stories of the Sea's Song. She made them brave and strong; she would dream they were there. That they're alive and looking for her.

"Ever slightly out of reach! I dream you're still here..."

Hydrangea's hands tremble as she begins to tear up more. She closes her eyes as she gets back to her dream realm.

-------

"But it breaks so easily!"

She was dreaming of the Sea's Song. She was out in the middle of the night. That dreadful night so long ago. She attempted to change the story by reaching out to the organization. She trembles as she watches the group battle. She was in severe need… So despondent. She wept and called, pleading with someone, anything, to save them.

But nobody came.

"I try to protect you-! I can't let you fade!"

Hydrangea makes an attempt to stop Aegir. She tries to protect them from harm. She tries, she really tries, but it's too late. She noticed the blood as she felt the ground sink. She was powerless to act. She takes Delmare's hand in hers. A solitary change in this night's story. Delmare was attempting to assist her. Hydrangea was trembling, quivering, and closing her eyes.

"I feel you slipping-!"

When Hydrangea imagines Delmare's voice, her eyes expand, but she only sees her friend smile for a split second. She bursts into tears. This was still a nightmare. It wasn't real. Why?

Why?!

Why wasn't it real?! What did she do wrong? What did they do wrong?

"I feel you slipping away-!"

As her hand's slide, Hydrangea calls back to Delmare. As she approaches the ocean, she notices the ship fading into the darkness. She was back in the chilly water, barely holding on, but what was the point?

------

"Every night I dream you're still here... The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear!"

Hydrangea awakens in an instant. She was the only one in her inn room. She started shaking, trembling, and then sobbing. She sobbed at the top of her lungs. She covered her face with her legs and sobbed. Her sobs were shaking her very soul.

"When I awake, you'll disappear! Back to the shadows... With all I hold dear! With all I hold, dear..."

She could feel the soothing touch of her friends, but what used to comfort her now disturbed her even more. It was freezing and unreal. She was aware it wasn't genuine, but she was desperate. Wishing, hoping, and dreaming, it was all true.

But it wasn't.

"I dream you're still here (I dream you're still here)! I dream you're still here (every night I dream you're still)! (Every night I dream you're still here)."

She was dreaming, it was never real. It's gone, they're gone. She needs to accept it.

"I dream you're still here (every night I dream you're still)! (Every night I dream you're still here)... Ever slightly out of reach (I dream you're still here)."

She had no home to return to. No family to reach out to. No one. Nothing. She had no one left.

Not a single person.

She was alone. Again.

"(Every night I dream you're still). (Every night I dream you're still here)!"

"I just want to go home." She sighs and pulls her legs closer to her chest. She shuts her eyes. Her stories, her exploits, everything were spread out on the bed…

"But it breaks so easily."

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@kioko-noodles / @kiokodoodles @miscneilleaneous @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut @buff-borf-bork @underfell-crystal @rainbowut @hearty-dose-of-ranch @fruitsnackart

[rainia]

my supervisors computer broke so he’s asking for me to PRINT my entire thesis for his comments (it’s over 200 pages),,,,, my man😭 please just let me submit.... free me... from this eternal pain..... to quote the classics: let it go,