#PLUS their names rhyme

[misfitmiska]

Please I can’t be the only one who thought of this—

(knows full well that no one else has thought of this but secretly hopes this post will trick dr stone fans into watching yume no crayon oukoku)

[quintessential-candles]

How did you get your username?

OOH FOR THIS WE GOTTA PULL OUT SOME CANDLES LORE (FUN)

2020: I wake up one morning and my friends (strange collection of people, they are silly) have all changed their discord names to food

Why?

Cos we’re a strange collection of creechurs

And they asked me to change mine too and we. All changed our profile pictures too

So naturally we needed some distinction, so we assigned eachother emojis that we used in our group chat

I ended up with 🕯️

And after that I ended up just. Named ‘Candle’

Like. My theatre teacher legitimately called me that until I went to highschool

So a bunch of my usernames changed ‘YourNewFather’ -> ‘YourNewCandle’

Unsurprisingly, YourNewCandle doesn’t sound all too good, so I switched it to ‘Quiet_Candles’

Which! Also didn’t sound too good, but I liked the Q

Well one of my favorite coping mechanisms is learning long words— learning how to spell them— and spelling them over and over till I know it by heart

Quintessential was just one I happened to land upon

And it became my favorite word for. SO LONG

So when I got banned on tiktok for about the third time I went with ‘Quintessential_Candles’ (my main account is something else, now, but I still reserved that username on a side account)

And so when I signed up for Tumblr it just kinda made sense, it’s a fun username, if it ain’t broke why fix it!?

[melonthesprigatito]

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon / Word Girl AU Time

Remembered that @clarissasbakery drew Word Girl/PMD AU fanart that one time so decided to throw my favs into the ring as well.

Rhyme and Reason as Team Harmony, not an Exploration Team, but S-Rank outlaws.

Both can Terastalise, Rhyme into an Ice Type, Reason into a Normal Type.

Rhyme is still as freakishly powerful as she is in canon. (After all, a guy won the World Championships with a Pachirisu)

[romanos-photo-album]

Fun Fact: Romano Momano is a valid name for a Male Lalafell

draw your own conclusions

[broke-on-books]

✒️ please!!

Send me a ✒️ and I'll pick a poem I think you'd like

After flipping through my notebooks I decided to go with my first instinct for you, which was "A Toast to the Alchemists" by Laura Gilpin. This poem hasn't been published online officially, so they're aren't a ton of sites that have it that I could find with a quick Google search. However I've attatched photos of a reddit post with it along with my version in my journal.

I picked this poem because of its themes of time and the passage of time, as well as magic and giving emotional significance to the most mundane and clinical of things (atoms and elements). In other words, taking magic from the world around us, especially through a lens usually seen as lacking wonder or whimsy. Also vibes, I mainly did it based on vibes.

Some other poems I considered in my search/additional recommendations are listed under the cut:

If you liked the writing of this poem, and haven't read it already (or have) I definitely recommend "The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin. It's by the same author and is her most famous poem and is fairly well known and also soooooo good. So good.

Poems with similar themes:

Poems with similar themes to "A Toast to the Alchemists" are

"Dusting" by Marilyn Nelson 💘 (literally cried to this. To be fair it was 10 minutes after I finished the HDM finale so it was mainly because of that but still. Great poem.)

"The Sciences Sing a Lullabye" by Albert Goldbarth

"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (90% sure you've read this one its the time theme but inverted and it's great if you haven't)

Rejected picks/Poems that gave me Anu vibes (many for no particular reason):

Poems by Ted Kooser for some reason??? NO idea why they're very different from the ones above but some of my faves are "Selecting a Reader", "In a Country Cemetery in Iowa", "The Constellation Orion" and "Flying by Night" (I'm v much questioning this pick now but I'll keep it up here just in case)

Honestly a bunch of random unrelated stuff was popping out at me ("Listen" by Miller Williams, "Cartoon Physics, Part 1" by Nick Flynn, "Snow" by David Berman) and like a million billion more which I all got from the same anthology (Poetry 180, edited by Billy Collins) so if you want to read a bunch more poetry, based on vibes alone, I'd say look for the book, the website, or the sequel. The poems from that book aren't too similar to the one above but it's really one of two books I generally recommend people right off the bat (it was my lit teachers favorite lol) because it's meant to get young adults and teens into poetry and introduce contemporary poetry in general. Idk how much poetry you've read whatever but even if you aren't new to it it's still a good compilation of late 90s/early 00s poetry that makes you think but isn't super long/totally incomprehensible

Anyways that got WAY longer than I anticipated or anyone probably wanted but poetry is an obsession of mine and recommending poetry is much more complicated and harder that it looks, even for the people you know best in the whole world AFTER interviewing their opinions on poetry, not to mention how difficult it would be for internet friends on tumblr. But anyways there's a couple poems, I got the vibes as close as I could with the poems I had on file. (Although i do feel like I'm missing something big 🤔) Anyways thanks for the ask Anu! Hope you thought my pick was alright!

[rohirric-hunter]

I'm obsessed, actually, like parts of the story that reflect Eowyn's (and Eomer's but mostly Eowyn's) story from LotR sort of in an "each stanza rhymes" kind of way until it occurs to you that Miranda Otto is narrating with this sort of implication that it's Eowyn herself telling the story and reading it through her own experiences plus the fact that it's mostly a behind the scenes sort of story and all the great deeds were attributed to other people (Hera isn't even named in the appendices) alongside the explicit statement that Hera isn't remembered in any of the songs, making this something Eowyn either heard passed down in a non-traditional way, reconstructed from historical evidence she found herself, or possibly learned about from Gandalf, which loops back around into Eowyn's own complex with regards of all the great deeds being done by the men and not remembered for great deeds in songs -- and like okay maybe I'm reading too much into it but I'm obsessed okay

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Judex, Judicum, Infantem - Chapter 2

(Eventual)Reader x Matt Murdock x Frank Castle

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist | my masterlist

summary: You try to put Frank behind you and fall into bed with Matt. Unfortunately, now you also have to tell him the news that you're pregnant.

warnings: SMUT/18+ (don’t interact if your age is not in your bio) AFAB Reader. No use of Y/N. Mention of pregnancy. Pet names. Angst.

wc: 4,185

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on Tumblr to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platforms I currently post on are Tumblr and AO3. Thanks!*

Still a few weeks earlier

You rubbed the palms of your hands into your achey eyes as the words on your computer screen blurred again. After what went down between you and Frank a few days prior, you were having more trouble than normal focusing on tasks at work. The sparse amounts of sleep you’d gotten over the past few nights wasn’t doing you any favors either. Between bouts of crying over the “breakup” (If one could even call it that. You and Frank weren’t together) plus the way your brain kept drifting to replay every conversation you’d ever had with Frank over and over again in your head; you’d found it hard to get a restful night of sleep. Despite how your eyes burned and your body ached when you laid down in your bed each night, you just couldn’t get into a deep slumber.

It also didn’t help that your neck still had a crick in in from sleeping on the floor mattress at Frank’s shitty hideout. Or it was from having your spine twisted oddly as he railed you into bliss and oblivion? Or both?

Frank was clearly never going to come around and you knew moving on would be best, but wallowing in your own self pity was a maschochistic habit you just couldn’t seem to get out of. Also, if you accepted his feelings about the two of you and moved on, then you’d have to let go of the small glimmer of hope that just maybe you could be enough for him to finally want to move on with his life and love someone else. You weren’t sure you were ready to do that.

“Huh, I didn’t know they sold White Diamonds to anyone under the age of seventy.” A smooth voice cut through the buzzing in your brain, turning your attention away from staring at your computer.

“Murdock!” You exclaimed at the handsome figure leaning against the door frame to your office.

All too happy to see a familiar and friendly face to distract you from all the work you weren’t getting done, you gave him a look up and down as he stood before you. His navy suit was tailored perfectly to his lean figure and you couldn’t help but smile at how he adjusted the red-framed glasses on his face.

“I know you have a bloodhound nose there Mr. Murdock, but even I’m impressed you can identify the specific perfume I tried from a client gift basket yesterday.”

You rose from your chair to greet him with a hug. The way his taught, muscular frame enveloped you sent a jolt of butterflies through your stomach and you wondered if he could tell how his handsome charm flustered you every time you met. The clean scent of his cologne cut through the stale air of your office as you breathed him in. The wool of his suit was soft as you ran your hand down his arm and pulled away a bit.

“Mr. Murdock, really? Wow, okay. We’re going formal today? If I’d have known, I’d have worn my tux.”

Matt always seemed to always know just what to say to get you giggling.

“I figured I’d keep the illusion of professionalism at work. I mean, I could call you another name; starts with a D and rhymes with Shmare Shmevil”

Matt gripped at your elbow and spun you into your office, trapping you between his body and the wall.

Ow, that hurt your shoulders. That was definitely from when Frank had you—

“Watch it.” he chided with a lick of his lips.

His breath was warm against your face as he let out a dry chuckle at your surprised demeanor. He tilted his chin, searching for an answer from you.

“Sorry, Matty. Couldn’t help myself.” you giggled as he loosened his grip on you and took a step back, straightening his tie.

“Besides, even with out the alter ego and the super sniffer, only someone who is regularly intimate with women of that age range would recognize an Elizabeth Taylor perfume. Didn’t know you were into much older women.”

“Sweetheart, who I sleep with is none of your business.” Matt chuckled at your retort. “Besides, that kind of talk isn’t what I’d call keeping it professional.”

“Right, right. So what brings you in today?”

“Colleen emailed me. Said you had some new contracts that needed a look-through?”

The non-profit you worked for couldn’t afford to have a full-time lawyer on staff to review contracts and relied on pro-bono services to make sure everything stayed above board. Matt and your boss, Colleen, were buddies in college. Despite the fact he was a defense attorney and not involved in contract or non-profit law, she regularly roped him in to helping with the legal side of things.

“Right, I’ve got some of them pulled up on my computer right now if you have the time.”

“Always have time for you, old lady perfume and all.”

“Okay, now you’re just being rude!” you chided him

You held out your arm and led Matt to the conference room across the hall, letting him set up as you ran back into your office and grabbed your laptop. You had to take a deep breath before returning. Always flirty and confident, you were never bored when Matt was around that was for sure. But with your heart still pulling for Frank, it felt wrong to let yourself have even the little attention you knew Matt gave to nearly every woman he encountered. But still, you smiled thinking of spending the afternoon with Matt, even if it was just to review boring contract language. Maybe you were looking for any glimmer of hope that a man could actually desire you and not just push you away like Frank had.

“What’s this new clause in the contracts ‘public image addendum’?” Matt asked, listening to the details of the file via his screen reader

“You been following the news lately?”

“Yeah.”

“So you heard about the CEO of Caffeination Collective?”

“Yeah, but what’s a local coffee chain boss embezzling have to do with —”

“Well, Caffeination Collective signed a contract to be the main sponsor of our next gala three days before he got arrested. We tried to drop them, obviously, but they’re arguing we need to honor all the sponsorship placements of our contract despite the fact that they’ve shuttered all their locations and it looks like they won’t be back in business any time soon. Colleen thinks we should add a clause to all future contracts that if anyone we do business with does anything bad for PR, we can drop them.”

“Yeah, I’d say that’s a great idea.”

“She asked if you could review the language to make sure we’re covered going forward.”

Matt nodded.

“You know Caffeination Collective is headquartered in Hell’s Kitchen, right?” you added, spinning back in forth in your chair as you nursed your third coffee of the day

“Yeah, so?”

“Corrupt CEO disenfranchising employees and laundering money? Thought the Devil would have got to him before the cops.”

Matt adjusted his tie once more and grimaced at the mention of his alter ego, a pained look apparent in his eyes even as they hid behind crimson frames.

“Yeah well, I’ve been trying to lay low lately.”

“Since when have you ever laid low?”

“I have a lot of reasons to right now.”

“Hmm, sounds interesting. Shame you’re here to talk boring legal files, I’d love to hear more about it.”

Matt rubbed at the grey in his stubble and a crinkle appeared at the skin around his glasses as he smiled at you, hint of whatever troubled him at the moment washing away.

“Maybe if this doesn’t take too long, we could discuss it over dinner.”

“You’re incorrigible, Murdock.”

“And serious.”

“I don’t date lawyers. And I especially don’t date vigilantes.”

“You’re lying.”

Technically you weren’t. Frank was the only other vigilante you knew personally. While you’d just slept together the one time and had an odd ‘friendship’ before that, you had technically never dated him.

“Quit listening to my heartbeat.” you chided, tossing a paperclip towards Matt’s head, which he easily dodged

He chuckled.

“Come on. What is it? What’s the hold up?”

“I’m just too busy to get involved with anyone right now.”

“Oh, don’t give me busy.”

The air in the room suddenly felt warm as you mulled it over. You and Matt had always had great chemistry and the only excuse you really had was how desperately your heart was still hanging on to Frank.

“You deserve someone who can give you better.”

You knew you needed to move on. Frank made it clear he didn’t want to be a part of your life anymore after the two of you had crossed the line from whatever you had been to more.

And what better way to try than with Matt? Always handsome and suave and kind and funny. You knew the two men shared history and had complicated feelings towards one another, though you weren’t super clear on the specifics. You did not want to inform Matt of this situation and open that can of worms.

Fuck it.

“Fine, Murdock. Let’s get through these contracts and you can take me to dinner.”

Dinner turned into several rounds of drinks, which turned into a leisurely stroll back to your apartment. The restaurant he took you to was a cute French spot in Hell’s Kitchen, matching your love of cool and sophisticated with out being stuffy.You knew Matt was a flirt but were shocked with how easily the two of you connected. The whole evening felt natural, how care free and easy it was to just be yourself with him. In fact, you were having such a pleasant time with Matt, you hadn’t thought of Frank the whole evening.

“I honestly can’t believe the judge didn’t throw me out.” Matt concluded his story, a smile splitting across his face as he spoke

You let out a hearty laugh into the chilly night air as the two of you ambled down the quiet sidewalk through your neighborhood towards your apartment building. Matt’s hand was gentle as it held yours, letting you set the pace as he kept in step beside you.

“You always get away with the most asinine stunts in court. Only you Matty, would do something that would get any other lawyer a mistrial and instead win the case. And to play the whole blind card too in your defense? Classic. They let you get away with that?”

“Yeah, usually, actually.”

“Oh yeah, that’s the only reason you get juries and judges on your side.” your sarcastic tone had him shaking his head and grinning “It has nothing to do with how hot you are.”

Matt stopped, letting go of your had and facing you with a raise to his eyebrows as he leaned against his cane.

“You think I’m hot?” he asked, playfully feigning ignorance

You shook your head as you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“Of course I think you’re hot.” you replied “You know I do, even without all your stupid senses; that by the way, you still need to explain to me how that all works.”

You gestured towards his face and were met with a chuckle. The carefree way he tilted his head, taking in everything he could about you as you stood before him made you feel unshielded.

“Next time.” he said, voice low and thick

“Next time?”

“Yeah. I mean, tonight was great. I want to do this again, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah. Matt, I really did have a great time. It’s just…” you trailed off

“Who is he?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on sweetheart, you’ve been holding something back all night.”

“I have not—”

“Don’t lie.”

“Fine.” you contested with a sigh “There was someone. Recently. But he broke my heart. And told me to move on. And I’m trying.”

It was the first thought you’d given to Frank in hours; how kind his eyes were when he spoke to you, how the low gravel of his voice resonated through every nerve in your body when he muttered your name, how soft and gentle his hands were despite all the violence they inflicted. Then you thought of the conversation you’d had when you last spoke, how he just wasn’t ready for the love you wanted to give and how it just seemed so easy for him to walk away.

As Matt stood before you, earnest and flirty in a way that always wooed you into giddiness, you too thought of how similar the two men were. All the traits that made you fall for Frank, present in Matt, with just a little more of that “has his shit together” factor.

“But?” Matt inquired

“But as handsome and charming and electric as you are, I’m still hung up. And I’m sorry that’s not fair to you Matt. I shouldn’t have agreed to —”

“No it’s fine, look I had a great time tonight. I always do when I’m with you. We can put a pin in this, call it a night and not let hard feelings get in the way.”

“No, that’s not fair. To either of us. I shouldn’t let this chemistry between us fade out because of...” you paused, shaking your head and trying to find the right words “You and me, this could be a really good thing.”

“It could be.” Matt agreed “Plus, wouldn’t hurt in helping you win the break up?”

“Who said I want to ‘win the break up?’” you said, giving Matt a playful smack on his arm, which cause him to jolt and fein injury with a smile “It wasn’t even really a breakup, it’s way more complicated than that.”

“Hey, just another thing for us to get into next time.”

“You keep saying next time.”

“I do.”

“You really want to be a rebound?”

“I mean, I don’t have to be. We could just take this slower until you’re ready. See where it goes?”

Winning the breakup. What a childish concept. Still, knowing Matt and Frank had some kind of rapport with each other and getting just a little bit of revenge by getting with someone Frank was acquainted with felt like an enticing idea. Why not make things a little complicated and messy for Frank if word ever got back to him and give him a little taste of his own emotional medicine? Plus, as he had proven all evening, Matt always made you feel special anyway, so there was no harm in letting yourself have a little fun.

Fine.

“Or you could take me upstairs and fuck me until I forget about him.” you spoke, unwavering voice cutting through the background noise of sirens and traffic and every other noise you knew he worked so hard to tune out

You swore you could hear Matt’s heartbeat pounding from his chest and you didn’t even have his abilities. He tried to conceal his nerves behind a faint giggle as he contemplated your offer, searching for any indicator from you that you were joking. Whatever he sensed from you told him you were serious, as his nostrils flared and his hand to tightened around his cane. He licked at his lips and shook his head as he opened his mouth to speak, but it seemed words were lost on him at the moment.

Matt Murdock flustered. You never thought you’d see the day.

Was it so wrong to egg him on when he clearly wasn’t opposed to the idea? You decided not, rocking your feet forward and meeting your lips with his. You kept the kiss soft and gentle until his hand slid up your jaw, pulling you in more. Heat ignited in your bones as he kissed you back, trying to swallow down the low moan that was building in the back of your throat.

It took all his will power to pull away, even just a fraction of an inch to speak.

“Yeah, upstairs.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Now

The door to Matt’s office was cracked open just a little and you could see his silhouette sitting at his desk through the frosted glass. You hoped he couldn’t hear the shaky breath you released as you approached the door, still unsettled on exactly how you wanted this conversation to go. The dampness of your palms was enough to leave a residue on the brass door knob as you softly turned it to enter.

Matt was kind. Matt was a good person. Matt would handle this well.

“Matthew?”

He cocked his head as you pushed the door open, a smile spreading across his face as he heard your voice. The air felt stifling and hot as the setting sun cast the room in shades of orange. Matt looked like he’d been carved by gods in the tangerine glow; perfect forearms flexing slightly as he waited for you to enter the room, shown off beautifully thanks to his rolled-up sleeves. He had at some point in the day loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt just enough so that a small bit of chest hair poked through. The glimmer of the fading day reflected in the red glasses that sat on his face. His looking so delicious was how you got into this mess in the first place.

“Visiting me at work? We’re crossing into some serious territory here.” he jested, rising from his seat to lean over his desk and greet you with a soft kiss on your forehead “Unless this is Colleen just sending you over with more contracts.”

You glanced down at the grey carpet beneath you, chewing on your cheek as you ran over the words in your head you’d been rehearsing all the way over here. Tugging at your sleeve, you finally looked up to face him. The kind way his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you would usually put you at ease on any other day, but under the circumstances it only made you more nervous to speak.

“No no, this is a personal visit.”

Matt’s eyebrows rose in curiosity. It was late enough in the day that both Matt’s office and the city outside were in a lull of quietness, making you feel extra exposed to the way you could tell Matt was observing you. Scanning every element of your body for some kind of hint to where this conversation was going and you were certain the vibes were not great.

“Is everything okay?”

You let out a sigh as you sank in the chair opposite him, tapping your fingers on the wooden surface of his desk in front of you.

“Look, I know we both said we weren’t really in a place for anything serious and this would just be fun between the two of us, no strings attached but…”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you tried to continue without crumbling into a sobbing puddle. Matt licked at his lips as he waited to hear what you had to say and you were certain he could still taste the saltiness in the air from when you had wiped away your tears earlier. Squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to center yourself, you shook your head, let out a large exhale, then spoke.

“Matt, I’m pregnant.”

It came out as almost a whisper, strained from the tightness of your throat and how heavy it felt to say out loud. The tick of his jaw was the only indicator you had that he’d even heard you, as he stood there with his hands on his hips. He didn’t need to listen to your heartbeat to know you weren’t lying.

Never one to leave a moment of silence to linger, you couldn’t resist the bubbling up of all the hundreds of thoughts and you’d be having since taking the test. The carefully constructed phrases you’d rehearsed for this moment in your head were now lost to a cluster of intangible thoughts as you began to ramble.

“I’m so sorry, I thought I was being so careful. I mean I was. I was taking my pill on time every day and everything. At least, I think I was. You don’t have to say anything or do anything. I’m going to take care of everything myself. Unless you want to, I mean be involved or whatever. And I know this isn’t what either of us wants right now but I just never thought I’d ever have kids, like it wasn’t even on my radar and—”

Matt held out a hand, cutting you off. You sat there blinking, unsure what to do as you watched him pace around in a circle, large hand rubbing at the back of his head. His silence was troubling to you and it seemed each moment spent without knowing what he was thinking was taking an eternity. Was he angry? Or just in shock? Was he going to ask you to leave, never to speak to you again? Was he going to break your heart just as Frank had? Was this a big enough complication that made you worth discarding by someone you cared for again?

After what seemed like minutes, he rested his forearms against the back of his chair, turning his attention fully to you.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” he reassured. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Matt, you don’t have to—”

His hand came up again.

“Do you know what you want to do? Because whatever you decide, I’m right there beside you.”

“Matt, you don’t have to. I mean we’re not exactly at that stage of this relationshi—”

With a scoff, he shook his head and smiled. “No, sweetheart. I’m serious. Talk to me.”

He finally pulled out the chair from under him, sitting across from you and clearly ready to listen. You let out another sigh, resting your elbow on the desk and propping your head in it as you slowly spun the chair back and forth, even more antsy to how he’d react to what you were about to say.

“I want to keep it. I never thought I’d be a mom. Never thought I’d get the opportunity. But it took me all of five minutes after I took the test to calm down and I just knew.”

A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he listened to you ramble more.

“But Matt,” you continued “Please don’t feel obligated to do anything. I don’t want you to feel stuck or like you have to—”

This time he cut you off by reaching across the desk, taking the hand that was not supporting your head as it danced nervously across the desk in his.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. I said I was beside you and I mean it. No matter what.”

“Are you sure, because —”

“I want this. Us. Together.”

“Together?”

Your heart clenched at the certainty in his voice. Matt’s eagerness to be with you, to make this work, had all the alarm bells going off in your head. This was not how things usually went for you; life, relationships, opportunities. No one had ever been this clearly all in for you without some form of repayment expected and you were just waiting for the catch of it all to come crashing down and break your heart. But then you remembered the other shoe that was about to drop and ruin this moment was the secret you still kept from him.

“Or,” Matt sensed your hesitation and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “We still don’t have to put a label on this. We can get you through the pregnancy and co-parent and just see what happens.”

“That… yeah that might be best. But um, Matt there’s one more thing.”

Matt’s eyebrows shot up over his red glasses as he tilted his head toward you.

“There’s a chance you’re not the father.”

You swore you saw Matt’s heart break into a million pieces as his face dropped and he sat back a little, letting go of your hand.

“Right…” he replied, looking more and more sullen by the second “We didn’t— I mean we never labeled this. You said you didn’t want to.”

“I’m so sorry Matt. But we agreed to keep things casual and if it makes you feel better, I only slept with him one time after you and I started—”

Matt nodded warily.

“Is it just one other guy or—"

“Matthew!”

“You can’t blame me for being curious!”

“It’s just one other guy.”

“Okay. It’s the one that you told me about, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you told him yet?”

“No.”

Matt rubbed at his chin, letting out a sigh.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.”

“No. I want this. Even if its not mine. Even if I have to co-parent with whatever other— I’m sure sweetheart.”

“You might want to rethink that”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I haven’t told you who else the father might be and you’re not gonna like who it is.”

NEXT CHAPTER

TAG LIST: @xxdrixx @a-leg-without-fear @echo-ethe @capswife @xoxabs88xox @allmyn1ghts @laaadygisbooornex3 @ninacotte @uncertified-doc @moth-murdock @danzer8705 @endofthelinegang @buckyssugarchick @hellskitchenswhore @pixviee @themikkapika @bisexualbith @labellapeaky @theoraekenslover @sexyvixen7

[cryptid-paint]

RELEASE THE DIVA!!!! *I scream into a megaphone as Butchverine walks into the stage*

A couple of notes on my take on sapphic Poolverine:

-wolverine's full name is Jane Lenore Howlett, she mainly goes by Jane, she still goes as wolverine as her hero persona

-Lady Deadpool startet to call her Lottie (because of her middle name, Lenore) because it rhymes with Hottie "hottie Lottie"

-doesn't really cares about makeup, sometimes she can indulge a bit in wearing black lipstick but she's always seen with eyeliner....it's for intimidating purposes she says .....sure thing, we say (she's lying, she enjoys doing her eyeliner)

-Jane gives zero fucks about shaving, but we stand a soft fuzzy gal, so kuddos to her, Lady Deadpool says she is "as soft as a kitten"

-fashion wise Jane is all about the ripped jeans, combat boots, tank tops, sleeveless crop tops, flannels and ofc a good leather jacket

-Lady Deadpool's name is Winnona Wilson (I know her canon name is Wanda in the comics but marvel come on, there's already another Wanda and plenty of female W names, get creative!...plus Winnona is cuter)

-wolverine calls her whinennona, whiny or straight up Wilson depending on her mood

-Winnona LOVES accessories And is oftenly wearing wigs, cute hats, beanies and bandanas in her head when she's not wearing her mask, she loves makeup too! She enjoys false eyelashes, lipstick and sometimes eyeshadow, she draws in her eyebrows but she doesn't wears foundation tho, it irritates her skin a lot

-she probably has the biggest cute and funny earrings collection ever. Fashion wise I can see her rocking low waist jeans, rhinestone belts, crop tops and those juicy couture velvet tracksuits lol

[starfinss]

ʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ — ʀᴏʀᴏɴᴏᴀ ᴢᴏʀᴏ

𝘍𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮: One Piece

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: Roronoa Zoro + Reader

𝘙𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨: NSFW 

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 7,375

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: He’d gotten jealous when some random idiot hit on you, and you realized you didn’t mind that jealousy. The frenzied make out session in that tiny closet was just the result of that realization.

You hadn’t spoken a word about the situation since that day. That was two weeks ago.

And then it happened again.

Storms were the worst.

You used to love them, before you became a pirate. You found contentment in listening to them; the musical sound of rain against the window, thunder growling overhead, lulling you to sleep. Peaceful. That’s what you thought of them. There was a certain kind of incomparable coziness that came with laying tucked into bed while a storm raged outside. You were inside, warm and dry, in your own little bubble of warmth.

But that was then, and this was now. 

You knew you were in trouble when the sky had been blood red that morning, indicating the coming storm. It was just like the old mariner’s rhyme said, though thanks to Nami, you now knew the science behind it. Something about how the red color came from high water content in the atmosphere. You couldn’t remember the exact words she’d said.

Science or no, storms spelled trouble for sailors of any kind, even the kind that engaged in certain illegal activities such as piracy. Life was easy when the water was calm and the weather cooperated. Storms were a complication, and this one was no exception.

The low visibility, torrential rain, and rough water forced the Merry to dock at a tiny island town you didn’t even catch the name of, with you and the other Straw Hats left to find a motel or some other form of lodgings, since the rocking of the ship was making it hard to even stand up straight, let alone fall asleep. 

And that led you to now. Drenched and miserable, and standing in the shabby lobby of the town’s motel. 

“A room for six, please.”

The clerk looked at your captain for a moment before speaking.

“For six, sir?”

Luffy whirled around, counting the group out on his fingers before facing the clerk again. 

“Yep,” he said, and even unable to see his face, you knew he was grinning. “Six. One bed should do.”

Nami looked at Luffy in askance, clearing her throat. 

“Sorry about him, he’s an idiot,” she said, “how about six individual rooms?”

“A waste of Berry,” Luffy countered, waving off the navigator, “just give us the biggest bed you have.”

Nami sighed, running her hand through her hair, which was plastered to her forehead with rainwater. Your own was no different.

“Luffy, there’s absolutely no way we can all fit in one bed,” Nami said, then turned to the clerk, “we’ll take six rooms, if you have them available.”

The clerk nodded, clearly pleased with Nami’s much more reasonable request, turning his back to the group to check a clipboard. 

“We have five available, miss,” he said, “four with singles, one with a double.”

A hush fell over the crew as you took in the information. You chewed your lip. This was fine. You could just share with Nami. You were both women, so it made sense that way. Plus, you knew she didn’t snore, so you’d get a comfortable night’s sleep. You were just about to say something about this when Luffy beat you to it. 

“Who wants to share with me?”

Nami didn’t even look at him. “Not happening.”

Luffy wilted. “Why not?”

“What do you mean ‘why not?’”

Luffy looked offended. “I’m great at sharing beds!”

You figured this was as good a time as any to bring your idea up. “Nami—”

“I’m not having this conversation,” Nami said, more to Luffy than you, “you guys figure it out. I need a shower.”

“Wait, Nami,” you tried again, but she was already turning away, disappearing down the hall after collecting a key from the clerk, leaving you dumbstruck. 

Usopp gave you a look of sympathy. You appreciated that, even if it didn’t fix anything.

“Let her go,” he said, “she’s the one who navigated us through the storm to this island. She deserves her own bed.”

He was right, but that didn’t remove you from the awkward spot you were in. Your wet clothing was starting to get cold, and you were beginning to shiver, so it was suddenly less important who you may end up sharing with. 

“I’m still okay with sharing,” Luffy said, oblivious to any awkwardness, “anyone?”

You chewed your lip. You didn’t want to share with Luffy, and no offense to Usopp, but you weren’t all that keen about sharing with him either. He was your friend and you cared for him, but being that close in proximity with him would just be awkward. Sanji was similar in that regard. 

And that left Zoro. 

Zoro was different. 

You weren’t entirely sure how to define your relationship with the swordsman. It didn’t start off as smooth sailing, for lack of better terms. From the moment you met, you were constantly bickering. He was just as hard headed as you were, resulting in anything from petty spats to full blown arguments. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object, though it was hard to tell just who was what in that regard. 

Then the ‘incident’ happened, and things got even more complicated.

You shook yourself from your thoughts. You were too tired to deal with stupid feelings and the way Zoro’s eyes were boring into the back of your head. He had to be thinking exactly the same thing as you, and the thought of that simultaneously pissed you off and made your stomach twist in confusing knots. 

“I’ll take one for the team,” you said, breaking yourself from your thoughts, “one of you shares with me. It’s up to you which one it is. I’m going to take a shower.”

Without another word, you grabbed the key to the room with the double from the clerk, stalking off down the hall.

You jammed the key into the keyhole, stepping inside the room after you reached the door. It was a small room, a little shabby, but clean enough. The bed was on the left wall, centered beneath a painting of either a whale or some kind of indistinct mythical creature, you were unable to tell. The wooden floor was covered with a well worn striped carpet. The far wall was mostly taken up by a lumpy-looking red sofa, as well as two windows, both rather small and covered by threadbare curtains the color of watered down mud. Everything in the room had a sort of well-used air to it. As you entered, you got rid of your boots, leaving them by the door to dry out. 

All you’d brought along was yourself and a small rucksack with a nightdress you’d grabbed from your things, as well as a fresh change of clothing for the morning. You were starting to smell like fish and brine, so you made your way to the incredibly cramped bathroom connected to the room, quickly peeling off your clothes. 

Your skin was cold as you turned on the water in the standing shower, and you shuddered as you stepped under it. Thank God for the hot water. You half-expected it to be cold, which wasn’t uncommon in backwater motels like this one.

There was a half-full bottle of shampoo, seemingly left over from the last guest, and you hesitated to use it, but you also didn’t want to go to bed smelling like the worst parts of the ocean, so you squeezed some into your palm, lathering it into your hair. 

You knew what you were doing. You knew exactly who would follow you into this room. You groaned inwardly, your forehead thudding against the tile wall of the shower. You blamed that stupid jammed door for all of this. You blamed the idiot at the bar who hit on you, and the alcohol, and everything that led up to you being trapped in a closet with Zoro while bounty hunters trashed the building looking for your crew. 

Because that stupid series of events were what made you realize you had feelings for Zoro. And now things were weird. 

Silence filled by bickering was left empty and awkward, and the way Zoro kept looking at you when he thought you couldn't see didn’t help at all. Neither did the way his hands would linger on your waist if he passed you, just a brush of his fingers, sending electric shocks up your spine. And neither did the way he’d rest a palm on your thigh when you sat beside him at the dinner table. Nami was the first to notice the shift, though it was Sanji who deduced that something had happened between the two of you when you were shut in that closet, not that you’d ever tell him what it was, despite all his prying.

And something had. 

You remembered the buzz of alcohol fading as you bickered aimlessly, pressed closer than comfortable as Zoro struggled with the door. You remembered the way you snapped, something about how confusing he was being, and then he was gathering you into his arms, crushing his lips against yours, and how he’d crowded you against the wall behind you soon after. You remembered how his hands felt, drifting down your body to grab at your hips, how his tongue tasted like the whiskey he’d been drinking before, and how just his touch alone made you feel like you were losing your mind.

He’d gotten jealous when some random idiot hit on you, and you realized you didn’t mind that jealousy. The frenzied make out session in that tiny closet was just the result of that realization.

You hadn’t spoken a word about the situation since that day. That was two weeks ago.

And then it happened again. 

That was one week ago. You’d been in the kitchen, fixing yourself a sandwich late at night when Zoro appeared with the same idea. It started with you trying to bring up the closet incident, and ended with you caged against the countertop by Zoro’s arms, his mouth hot against yours, your fingers in his hair. 

And that wasn’t spoken of, either. 

You wanted to talk to him about it. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. You’d tried to approach Zoro about it, only to either chicken out, or end up with even more questions. It was incredibly strange, not only because it was out of character for Zoro to beat around the bush, but also because he seemed just as awkward as you were about it all. 

Maybe this would force his hand, you supposed. Or maybe he’d ignore you, though that was unlikely for obvious reasons, and you’d end up spending the night in the same bed as Luffy or something.

Through the thrum of the running water, you heard the door to the main room open, then close again. You couldn’t hear anything else, however, and whoever had just entered didn’t bother to announce their presence, but you were already pretty sure you knew who it was. You took a breath before turning off the shower, wringing out your hair before stepping out.

You toweled yourself dry before finger combing your hair, making sure to get rid of any knots before putting on your underwear and pulling your nightgown on over your head. 

You opened the bathroom door, pausing briefly when you saw Zoro sitting on the bed, busy unlacing his boots. He turned to look at you when you entered, clearly intending to only spare a glance, but his gaze lingered, doing a full sweep of your body. You suddenly felt self-conscious, tugging the bottom of your nightgown down further.

You shook it off. This was fine. You had him alone now. He had no way of escaping the discussion that needed to happen. 

With a breath, you circled the bed, sitting down with your back to him.

“We need to talk,” you said, “no more avoiding it.”

Zoro said nothing. You heard a soft thud as he tossed his boots away, followed by the rustle of fabric. 

“Zoro,” you said, “I’m serious.”

“Can we do this another time?” He said, finally, and you sighed, annoyed.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t feel like it right now.”

You turned around to face him finally. He was standing now, and wearing less clothing than when he’d first entered the room. His shirt was gone, as was the haramaki he usually wore. The latter was laid out on the nightstand alongside his swords, the former clutched in one of his hands. You didn’t blame him for taking it off, it was surely soaked with rainwater, but him being shirtless really wasn’t helpful at the moment. Infuriatingly, you felt heat rising to your cheeks. 

“I don’t care,” you said, “you haven't ‘felt like it’ in two fucking weeks. We made out, Zoro. Twice. Plus… everything else. That happened. We can’t pretend it didn’t.”

“We did,” Zoro said, crossing to the bathroom. He left the door open as he wrung his shirt out into the sink, turning to look at you over his shoulder.

“There,” he said, “we talked about it. Are we done?”

You rose to your feet, arms crossed. “No. I need to know why. I need to know what that meant.”

Zoro turned to face you, leaning back against the sink basin. “What do you think it means?”

You tossed your hands up in frustration. “I don’t know. You kissed me. Both times.”

He shrugged, infuriatingly nonchalant, his face as impassive as always, though something about him was unmistakably smug. “I did.”

Zoro folded the shirt over the edge of the sink, moving to lean in the doorway. You cleared your throat, taking a step forward as well.

“Is that a problem?” He continued, eyes lifting at the corners in taunting mirth, “it didn’t seem like it at the time.”

“If it’s this easy to acknowledge it, why didn’t you talk about it at all? You got jealous, Zoro.”

Another shrug. Then a scoff, a near laugh, as he pushed off the doorframe to cross over to you. 

“I did,” he said, “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you. Don’t tell me you’d rather have been in that closet with that stupid drunk rather than me. Or that you’d rather be with someone else in that kitchen. Or, y’know. Everything else.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

A flash of mischief appeared in his dark eyes. “So you liked kissing me?”

You avoided his gaze, displeased with the way he’d taken control of the situation. “That isn’t the point. The point is—”

But you didn’t get to finish. Because before you could even finish being annoyed with him, Zoro was grabbing you by the shoulders, pressing his mouth to yours. It was a chaste, quick kiss, but it still left you speechless and reeling.

“And what about that one?”

You blinked, your thoughts a jumble of nonsense.  “Still not the point,” you managed, “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, Zoro, this isn’t—”

Another kiss, deeper this time. You gasped in surprise, fighting back the urge to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Stupid, infuriating man, doing stupid, confusing things to you. You pressed your hand against his chest, pushing him gently, just to get a word in before he pulled you back in.

“Zoro,” you said, “what do you want?”

“You,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Fuck it. Fuck this, fuck him. This stupid moss-headed moron was messing with you, he had to be, and you could tell from the way he was smiling at you, crooked and devious, like the cat that got the cream. He liked seeing your confusion and uncertainty. He’d just been waiting for this, for you to snap. You stared at him furiously and wild-eyed before it was your turn to pull him in, your mouth colliding with his. 

Zoro’s hands rose to cup your cheeks, then shifted down to land on your waist, and you were moving, back colliding with the wall beside the bed. He tasted like whiskey again, which was puzzling since he hadn’t had any to drink that you knew of, though, knowing him, he probably had a flask stowed somewhere. 

It was almost a relief to kiss him, like a salve being applied to a burn, and you had to stop yourself from crying out as his hands drifted down to your hips, squeezing, his knee pressing at the close of your thighs. Zoro had been like a cat before, playing with his prey. Now he was going in for the kill. 

But two could play at that game. 

You slid your hands down from where they’d been folded behind his neck, flattening against his strong chest. Your fingers trailed down the defined muscle, pressing into the dips and curves of his abdominals, finally catching on the waistband of his trousers. Your thumb dipped into the ridge of muscle at his waist, nail scraping gently against the warm skin, and you felt him shudder, breath catching. 

His hand caught your wrist, with no particular strength, but enough to warn you of what you were getting yourself into. You responded by taking his lower lip between your teeth, tugging gently before linking your mouths together again. You knew what your were doing, and you knew what would happen if you riled him up more.

That did it. Zoro sighed against your mouth, a slow release of breath that seemed to display his rapidly fraying restraint, especially as you twisted your wrist free of his grip, fingers trailing up his sides, making him shiver. His grip on your hips tightened, the fabric of your nightgown bunching between his fingers, causing the garment to ride up, but you hardly cared, not when his knee was slotting itself between your thighs, pressing flush against your clothed cunt. 

The slow, easy grind made you gasp into Zoro’s mouth, hips twitching, but he was holding you down, firm against the wall, still an utterly infuriating tease, even now. You retaliated by palming him through his trousers, slow and deliberate, and he broke the kiss to look at you, breath heavy, gaze heated.

“You sure you wanna do that?” He warned, “you’re playing with fire.”

“Maybe I like getting burned,” you shot back, defiant.

Amusement danced in his dark eyes, his lip catching between his teeth as he fought a smile, and it was then that you noticed his face was flecked with countless freckles, a constellation across his cheeks. Absently, you wanted to kiss each and every one of them.

But the thought was ejected from your mind as he was kissing you again, tongue pressing into your mouth, and your fingers found his hair as he pulled your leg up to rest against his hip. Then his hand was between your thighs, broad palm against your clothed center, fingers pressing against the rapidly dampening fabric, dragging so slowly that it made you crazy, but his opposite hand was still holding you in place, unwavering, even as you squirmed in his hold.

Zoro’s fingers slid to your clit, pressing through the fabric of your panties, making you gasp into his mouth, the sound devolving into a low moan as he pressed again, rubbing in slow, lazy circles. He kissed you deeper, slower still, making you arch into him as his hand tightened its grip on your hip, pushing the fabric of your nightgown up higher, then sliding beneath to touch your bare skin. 

Fuck, the feel of his palm, rough and worn and calloused, against your flesh, it felt like perfection, and your body twisted as his fingers pressed against the bend of your waist, his touch like a simmering heat. 

“Touch me,” you blurted, muffled by his mouth, and he pulled back to look at you, amused.

“Aren’t I already doing that, doll?”

Your defiance was draining away more and more as the seconds ticked by, especially at the sound of his voice. It was a low, rough sound, husky and heated, and it made suffocating arousal shoot down your spine. It was almost embarrassing just how quickly he’d gotten you like this, only with his hands and stupid, smart mouth. 

“You know what I mean, jerk,” you shot back, but he simply chuckled, fingers sliding away from your clit to press at your entrance, pushing the fabric of your panties against your heated skin. 

You squirmed, but he held you still, his grip like iron on your body. You felt his breath against your skin, making you shudder, one hand gripping at his wrist, the one between your legs. His mouth brushed against the curve of your shoulder, dragging up the column of your throat, teeth grazing the spot just beneath your jaw, and you almost felt lightheaded. 

His fingers pressed against your panties again, aided well by the wetness that was soaking through the fabric, causing your body to jolt in his hold, back arching against the wall when his index finger circled your clit again. 

“Zoro,” you gasped, fighting for control, “please.”

“Please?” He rumbled, “‘please’ what?”

Your head fell back against the wall, eyes squeezing closed as he pressed down against your clit. Fuck, how were you already so wet? His mouth skated down your throat to your collarbone, teeth grazing your skin before you felt his tongue dart out, dipping lower, towards the top of your already low-cut nightgown.

“Just take them off,” you blurted, head swimming, “do it properly.”

Instead of doing what you said, he simply pushed the fabric aside, but before you could counter, his fingers were dragging along your cunt, teasing, and you let out a low whine. His mouth attached itself to your throat, teeth sinking into the tender flesh and making you cry out. His tongue smoothed over the spot he’d bitten before repeating the action. 

Slowly, his fingers sank inside of you, and your hands were grasping at his hair, making him groan against your skin, a sound that only riled you up further. He moved away from your throat to rest his forehead against yours, and when your eyes fluttered closed, he crooked his fingers inside of you, forcing a cry from your throat.

“Eyes on me,” he whispered, “don’t look away.”

A flush of arousal flooded your system at the request, and you realized how much of a struggle fulfilling it was as he began to move. His fingers were able to reach much deeper than your own were, not to mention that they were thicker. The slow, almost tortuous pace he’d adopted made the friction of his rough palm against your clit even sweeter. 

Gasping, breathless, your hands curled around his forearms as you clambered for any kind of purchase, anything to keep you anchored. Your eyes were still locked with his, leaving you unable to hide the flush on your cheeks, the desperation in your gaze. 

His eyes were growing wild. Famished and dark as midnight, his gaze slid down your body to what he was doing between your legs, and you watched in rapture as his lips parted, drawing a shuddering, stricken breath at the sight. You squeezed his arm, forcing him to look up at you.

“Don’t break your own rule,” you said, voice heated, and amusement flashed on his face.

“Minx,” he countered, palm grinding against your clit, and you let out a startled moan.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he rasped, “that’s what I wanna hear.”

You groaned, both in pleasure and in frustration. “Then go faster.”

He chuckled, full lips pulling into a roguish half smile. 

“Oh no,” he said, fingers curling inside of you, making your back arch, “I intend on taking my time with you. You have no idea what you do to me, do you? What you make me feel? I wanna savor this.”

His thumb moved to your clit, rubbing in slow circles, and you bit your lip to muffle your gasp of pleasure. This was embarrassing. You were so defiant before, but some pretty words and his stupid, pretty hands were enough to make all of that crumble.

But that didn’t mean you couldn’t bite back. 

One of your hands slid down his chest again, fumbling with his belt before tugging it off. He was already hard, something evident through the fabric of his slacks, and when you pressed your palm against him, you got the pleasure of hearing him gasp.

You tugged at his button for a moment before it came unsnapped, then pulled down his zipper before reaching down past the fabric, palming him through his underwear. He shuddered under your touch, a muscle in his jaw tensing as you explored, breath coming out in a sharp burst when your thumb ran over his clothed tip. His eyes briefly flicked away from yours as you focused on that spot, rubbing in circles, making him grunt, and when you pressed down, ever so gently, he groaned.

“You’re making it hard to focus,” he said, and the way he was looking at you was almost predatory.

You looked at him through your lashes, causing his breath to hitch. “Good.”

Finally, you pushed his underwear down, tugging him free and catching him in your hand.

Fuck.

He was thick. Your fingers only barely met as you wrapped your hand around him, and his length was worth mentioning as well. Six and a half inches, you’d guess, maybe even seven. It was oddly pretty, too, with a pink flush. He was a good deal bigger than anything you’d been expecting, not that you thought about Zoro’s dick with any kind of frequency. 

You took him into your hand, rubbing at his leaking tip, smearing precum with your thumb, an action that made him groan. You stroked him slowly, just as slow as he was touching you, and you watched as he fought to keep his eyes on you, lashes fluttering. His jaw clenched, hips shifting towards your hand as you thumbed his tip, sliding your fingers down to rub the underside of him. 

Zoro’s breath left him in a burst, hips twitching forward, the hand on your waist tightening its grip to nearly bruising. His fingers curled inside of you, making your back arch, free hand flying to grab at the back of his head, tangling into his hair. Your eyes were still locked, and you wanted to kiss him so badly, but you wouldn’t be the one to break, not when he was still going so slowly it was driving you crazy.

So you sped up. You knew you’d catch hell for this, but you decided that whether or not you’d be able to walk tomorrow was a problem for then, when your thoughts weren’t blurry with arousal. 

You touched him in quick, even strokes, squeezing at the tip each time, and you got to listen to him growl, his hand slipping from your waist to press against the wall beside your head, fingers fanning out. You could tell from the quickness of his breaths that he was trying to keep control, and then he was speeding up, making you falter.

The curl of his long fingers as he pumped them in and out of you, creating a sound that should’ve embarrassed you, but really only aroused you more. Your brows pitched up, pressing together, because fuck, it almost burned after how slow he’d been going before, making you squirm, and his hand was grabbing at your wrist, pinning the hand that had been touching him to the wall. 

“Eyes on me, darling,” he hissed, voice heated, “you wanted faster? I’ll give you faster.”

You couldn’t help but moan as he pushed his fingers deeper, hitting all the right spots, mouth just grazing yours as you squirmed against the wall, bucking your hips against his hand. He was playing you like a damn instrument, thumb firm against your clit, and he rewarded you with deep thrusts of his fingers every time you cried out. You could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching, and your fingers knotted in Zoro’s hair, eyes half lidded, pleading. He groaned, low and rough, just at the sight of your stricken expression.

His hand left your wrist to run up your body, stopping on your clothed chest, and he pushed the fabric down below your breasts, causing the straps to slip down your shoulders. His palm pressed against a breast, and your breath shuddered. Your hips jumped when he gently squeezed, rubbing a thumb over one of your nipples. He caught the nipple between his fingers, pulling, rolling it between them, and the sensation shot straight down between your legs. 

You were close. It was almost maddening, how good it all felt, and you could hardly focus on anything but Zoro’s hand between your legs, and how you were grinding down into his touch, chasing your high. He let you do as you pleased, gaze downright famished as he watched your face twist in ecstasy. You let out a loud, desperate whine, a near sob as he pushed his fingers deeper, thumb on your clit, driving you into that desperate build that comes just before you tip over the edge.

“Zoro,” you managed, voice strained, “Zoro, please.”

He said nothing, only replying with a growl as he crushed his lips against yours, frenzied and hungry, and your nails dug into his scalp as he brought you to your end, sending you toppling over that edge and into oblivion. 

You saw spots as you came, and he broke the kiss to watch your face, gaze dark as your head knocked back against the wall, hips bucking wildly against his hand, because it was all you could do not to scream, one of your hands slamming over your mouth, teeth sinking into your palm. You were squeezing around his fingers, spasms wracking your body, his name on your tongue like a broken prayer. Zoro pulled your hand away from your mouth, diving in to kiss you, deep and passionate, his tongue tangling with yours, and you moaned into his mouth as he worked you through your climax and into the realm of overstimulation. 

You were halfway towards a second orgasm when he finally pulled away, and you slumped against the wall, boneless, breath uneven and heavy. Zoro’s mouth pressed against the side of your throat, trailing up to your ear.

“Think you can handle more?”

You smiled, still breathless, looking at him through your lashes. “Let me catch my breath.”

“Tired already?” He taunted.

You responded by pushing off the wall to drop your nightgown off your body, followed by your panties. Zoro’s eyes raked down your figure, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and then he was pulling you to him, mouth hot against yours. You could feel his bare cock pressed against your stomach, and his hands slid down your hips to your thighs, boosting you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

His mouth trailed down your throat, sucking hard enough to surely leave marks, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You pressed your hips forward, grinding against him, and he moaned into your skin, his grip on your body growing tighter. He was growing impatient, you could tell. But so were you.

“Wanna fuck you so bad,” he husked, and you whined, pressing your hips against him once again.

“Then do it,” you said.

That was all it took. You were suddenly moving, tossed onto the bed, and you watched as Zoro slid his trousers down his legs before he was taking his place above you. His mouth was hot against you, and you wrapped your legs around his hips, growing more impatient by the second, something that didn’t go unnoticed.

“So needy,” he chuckled, lips brushing against your jaw, and you arched your back, shifting your body against him, making him hiss between his teeth.

“So cocky for someone who was telling me how bad he wanted to fuck me,” you countered, “are you all talk, then, demon?”

His eyes flashed, thrilled and amused, and you knew you were in for it, but not one part of you cared. In fact, you welcomed it. Obviously just as impatient as you were, he was prying your thighs farther apart, his body slotting between them.

You felt his tip at your entrance, pressing forward, and you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch as he pushed inside, and fuck, even just that was a stretch. Your head fell back, breath uneven. You felt Zoro’s mouth against your neck, and he was pushing forwards just a bit more, making you whine.

“Fuck,” you gasped, “fuck, you’re too big.”

“Relax,” he urged, voice rough, “it’s too fuckin’ tight, you gotta relax.”

You took a breath through your nose, fingers knotting into the duvet beneath your body. You took another breath as he sunk deeper, the stretch bordering on painful, but you could take it, even if it felt new and strange. 

Zoro’s face was flushed pleasantly pink, a sight that would be endearing in any other context, and you watched his teeth grit as he pushed forward again.

“You can take it,” he whispered, encouraging, “shit, relax, relax.”

You lifted your hips, allowing him to take hold of them, using them as leverage to push the rest of the way in, finally bottoming out.

“Fuck,” Zoro gasped, voice breathless and stricken, “fuck, that’s it, I knew you could take it— shit—”

His sentence was cut off by a loud groan, and you yanked him down into a kiss, appreciating how still he was being, despite his rapidly unraveling restraint, but you could hardly wait, even as your body protested at the unfamiliar feeling of being stuffed so full. You shifted your hips forward, your breath leaving your lungs in a sudden burst, and you heard Zoro groan in response.

“Move,” you gasped, “please.”

He gave a shallow little thrust, then another one, slightly deeper, and you felt his hands grip your waist as he pulled his hips back, only to thrust forward, filling you once more. 

You gave a choked, helpless moan as he thrust again, and fuck, you didn’t think you’d ever felt so full in your life. The stretch was rapidly making your thoughts turn to nonsense, head emptied out, and not one part of you cared at all.

Zoro adopted a pace that had you rocking back against the bed, head falling into the pillows, and he was dipping his head down to meet your mouth in a heavy kiss. His hands found your legs, pushing them up to wind around his waist, shifting his hips back to an angle that made your head spin. 

“Right there,” you slurred, “Zoro, Zoro, right there— so good.”

He gave a low, indulgent groan, his hands smoothing over your body, grabbing at your waist, tugging you flush against him before he was thrusting again, stuffing you full, forcing a sudden moan to fall from your lips. 

The room was filled with the sounds of skin on skin, mixed with your breathy, bitten-off moans and his soft grunts, and fuck, you didn’t know it would feel this good. It definitely wouldn’t be the last time this happened, not when it was more than evident that what you felt for Zoro was far from one-sided, and certainly not when it made you feel like this. 

Your nails dug into Zoro’s back as he fucked into you, and he gave a stronger thrust, breath shuddering. You watched a muscle in his jaw tense, twitching, eyes squeezing shut as you tightened around him. His head dipped to connect his mouth with the curve of your shoulder, dragging down to your chest, and his lips pressed against your nipple. His tongue passed over the sensitive flesh, making you arch into him, squirming, and his grip grew tighter.

“You don’t know how much I thought about this,” he breathed, hips rocking forward, “how many times I imagined fucking you in that closet. You’re so fucking gorgeous, with that smart-ass mouth. And you love this, don’t you? You’ve wanted this, too.”

You let out a shrill wine as he ground his hips against you, the base of his cock rubbing against your clit. Your hips lifted to meet his thrusts, making him groan, and he was holding you down, one hand on your lower stomach as he shifted back onto his knees, tugging your thighs around his hips. 

“I wanted this,” you slurred, back arching as he ground his hips against yours just right, “thought about it, too.”

Zoro’s hands tightened on your thighs, and you sobbed in bliss as he ground himself against you, the friction combined with the way he made sure to hit your clit with the base of his cock with every roll of his hips making it hard to even see straight. 

You tossed your head back, whimpering, and you weren’t going to last, not when he was doing everything he could to make you writhe. Each thrust left your head empty, breath heavy and rough.

“Harder,” you gasped, “c’mon, Zoro, give it to me.”

You felt his hands find the backs of your knees, lifting them to your sides to use as leverage as he pushed deeper with a heavy groan. His mouth met your throat, and then he was biting down, but the pain was nothing compared to the overwhelming pleasure, the two mixing into an intoxicating feeling. Deep, hard thrusts sent you into incoherency, and when one of his hands left your leg to press a thumb to your clit, you let out a whine of his name.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Zoro groaned, “you’re gettin’ close, yeah?”

You could do no more than nod as he took your body with abandon, your climax so close it was driving you insane. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers in his hair, and he groaned in your ear as you bucked up against him. You were totally drunk on pleasure, overwhelmed. He was the center of your world at that moment as he thrust deep into you, the rough pad of his thumb working you into madness.

You bit down on Zoro’s shoulder, sobbing in bliss as your orgasm hit you, washing over you like a tidal wave. His name was the only word on your tongue as he worked you through it, repeating it like unholy scripture until you could do no more than whimper in ecstasy, nails digging into his back. 

“Fuck— fuck!” You heard him cry, hips stuttering, “one more, do that again, I need to feel that again.”

And he was hiking one of your legs over his shoulder as his pace turned borderline punishing, leaving you helpless, unable to do anything other than lay there and take it, but you hardly had the wherewithal to even protest, not as he worked your over-sensitive body to its very limits. 

His nails dug into your thigh, a growl tearing from his throat as his thrusts grew erratic. Your head was empty, completely fucked out, thoughts filled only with jumbled thoughts of the man above you as he fucked you, deep and hard. You felt tears beading at your lash line as Zoro worked you towards yet another climax, and you yanked him down into a sloppy kiss in crazed desperation for as much contact as possible.

“Gonna cum,” you choked, “Zoro, fuck—”

“Do it,” he snarled, “fuck, do it, cum on my cock— yeah!”

You felt yourself gush on his dick, muffling your scream in the crook of his neck, vision spotty, and you knew you’d get addicted to this, addicted to him, but you knew neither of you cared at all about that fact, not when he was chanting your name, chasing his release as you squeezed around him in a vice grip. His pace was relentless, entirely indulgent, and you could feel him twitching inside of you.

“Wanna fill you,” he gasped, desperate, completely undone, “let me, will you let me?”

Unable to form words, you only nodded, yanking him down into another kiss as he thrust all the way in, stuffing you completely full, moaning into your mouth as he pulsed inside of you, his hands bruising in their grip on your body. Heat bloomed inside of you, making you whimper against his mouth, and you slowly rocked your hips to help him through the euphoria of it all, something that made blunt nails dig into your flesh.

Together, you lay panting, breathless and undone, tangled together. Zoro broke the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck, breathing erratically, and it was a few tense moments before he was slowly pulling out, rolling off of you to lay beside you.

“That can’t be a one time thing,” you said, after you found your voice, and Zoro huffed what may have been a laugh.

“Fuck no.”

A few beats of silence passed before the bed creaked, and another few passed before you felt a towel between your thighs, wiping you clean. Then, the blankets were being pulled back, and you were being tucked under them. Zoro climbed in shortly after, tugging you to lay against his body.

Silence passed some more, and you almost thought Zoro had fallen asleep before he spoke.

“You make me feel things I’m not used to,” he said.

You stole closer, curling into him, resting your head on his chest.

“How long have I done that?”

He pressed his nose into your hair. “Since I met you.”

You snorted. “Bullshit. You didn’t like me when we met.”

“I did,” he said, “I’m being serious. You’re gorgeous and strong, and you know it. You don’t back down. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before for anyone. I didn’t know how to handle that, so I acted like an idiot.”

You smirked. “Hell of a time to tell me that, after you fucked my brains out. You had a crush, so you acted like a little kid on the playground, is that it?”

A snort. “Yeah, pretty much. Never said I was proud of it.”

You laughed, enjoying the warmth of his body against yours.

“I feel the same,” you said, “when you kissed me in that closet, I realized it. You could’ve just asked me to get a drink, though.”

Zoro smiled. “Sure, I could’ve. But this was way more fun.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Teasing me relentlessly?”

“Yep. Do you have a problem with that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, several. But I’ll pay you back for that in due time.”

“Give it your best shot. I look forward to it.”

Idle chatter continued for a little while before you began to doze off. You felt Zoro tug you closer as you fell asleep, and for once since you started sailing with the Straw Hats, you were actually thankful for storms.

And, as you felt Zoro’s lips press against the crown of your head, you were excited for the future.

“You had fun last night.”

You turned to look at Nami from your spot at the front railings of the Merry, eyes slowly growing wide.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure,” she said, “play that game. But maybe try a little harder to cover up the hickies next time you and Zoro… spend the night together.”

Shit.

“Nami, I’m sorry,” you relented, “it sort of just happened.”

She snickered. “Usopp told me he basically forbade anyone from taking the room with you after you left the lobby.”

You put your face in your hands, thoroughly embarrassed. “Usopp knows?”

“He isn’t stupid, anyone could’ve figured out what might happen. The hickies are just confirmation.”

“Confirmation for what?”

You bristled at the sound of Zoro’s voice, stiffening when he crossed the deck to reach you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” Nami said, and Zoro smirked, smugness radiating off of him in waves.

“Do I?”

She rolled her eyes. “Why else would she be walking funny?”

Zoro shrugged, nonchalant, still smug as ever. “I guess we’ll never know.”

And as he tugged you closer, nose pressing into your hair as Nami turned to walk away, you couldn't help but smile.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

August

Steven Grant x gn!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? •

Summary: You and Steven go to a fair.

A/N: More self-indulgence from me.

Warnings: Steven being a bit giddy with excitement, reader winning a toy for Steven, a little innuendo, not beta read, please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 559

Steven’s giddy, practically vibrating with how overwhelmingly happy he is. As cliche as it is, he almost wants to pinch himself to check that he isn’t asleep. However he’d tried that once in a dream, it had hurt and he hadn’t woken up.

He squeezed the plush goldfish extra tight, its soft fake fur scales soothing under his hands. It was big, slightly larger than a cushion, and he was currently fighting the urge to shove his face into the bright orange and scream excitedly. 

“Can’t believe you not only won that game love, I swear all of them are rigged, and then you chose him! For me!” He holds the toy high above his head up towards the clear, crisp night sky. 

You giggle. “I’m so glad you like him.” 

“I love him!” Steven beams at you and squeezes the toy tightly. “We have to come up with a name.” 

You’d always been quite lucky with fairground games, and when you’d seen the way Steven’s eyes lit up when he saw the soft toy goldfish hanging on the side, you’d know you had to at least try. It seemed like tonight, the universe was on your side.

“No one’s ever won me something before.” He grins broadly, hugging the goldfish tight to his chest, “And I love how it’s like, you know, back in the day it would be goldfish in plastic bags that were prizes, obviously not very animal friendly, but this.” He holds the toy out again. “This is perfect!”

He was so cute when he was excited. Warmth twisted in your chest as you looked at him. 

“You know Gus is a shortened version of August? And Constantine?” He continued as you both walked, not looking at where he was going at all and instead, staring intently at the told in his hands. He had turned the fish so that he could gaze into his eyes. 

“I like August.” 

Steven nodded. “Me too.” 

“Sounds sunny, like the orange.” 

“I think August it is!” He beams again.

“Plus I get Gus - AuGUSt, but where the hell does Constantine fit into it?” You frown a little as you talk, thinking. “Maybe a not English language connection?” 

“Maybe, but then Dick comes from Richard, doesn’t it? And that makes no sense.” 

You snort. “Dick comes from Richard, yeah?” 

He gives you a look, trying to be serious and not laugh himself. “I didn’t realise we were seven.” 

“Eight I’ll have you know.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him and he giggles. 

“Okay, eight… actually, now that I think about it, I think I read somewhere that Dick is short for Richard because it rhymes with Rich.” 

“I think it’s much funnier if it’s just a penis joke.” You tease and put your head on his shoulder. 

Steven starts to laugh again and then overdramatically gasps and covers August’s ears, where his ears would be if he was a human. “Not in front of August!” 

You chuckle at the playful look on his face.

“He’s only a few minutes old.” 

“A few minutes?” You grin.

He nods mock seriously, “That’s when we got him, that’s how old he is.” 

“Well, do you and August want to go on that ride with me?” You point to one that looks only semi vomit inducing.

He nods enthusiastically and grabs your hand.

Thank you for reading!

Taglist 1:

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[regressioncurriculum]

My Daily Diction

Monday.  Place your mouth around the corner of a table and recite nursery rhymes and polite requests while keeping your mouth there.

Tuesday. When you need something, say it along with a rhyme.  Ex., “drinky winky!” when thirsty, “cribby bibby!” when tired.

Wednesday. Sing a little tune you know, but replace all the words with your own name. 

Thursday. Choose a syllable of nonsense, like “ba” or “coo.” Practice expressing your needs and emotions only by gabbling that sound in different tones, plus pointing and gestures.

Friday.  Practice your crying for ten minutes.

Saturday.  While you do things, bring a toy along and practice each action with the toy before you do it yourself.  Narrate as you go.  Ex., “Kitty go poo,” placing stuffed toy on the potty.  Then “Baby go poo” when you sit on the potty.

Sunday.  Ask a grown-up to place a big spoonful of something sticky in your mouth.  Try to recite a Mother Goose rhyme without swallowing or spilling.

[theendorisit]

apropos of nothing, I made Tape-E

Who is Tape-E?

During one of the TMA livestreams (trying to remember which one), a fan question was asked ‘Is there a mascot (for the Archives or the show itself not sure)?’ One of the team suggested ‘Tape-y?’, to which everyone else responded with ‘Oh no!!’. So I thought, oh yes! So yeah, this is your fault 😘

What is Tape-E?

As Mr Bonzo is a parody of Mr Blobby, Tape-E is a parody of Clippy (these last two names rhyme).

Who is Clippy?

Clippy was a microsoft office assistant, introduced in 1997. He was a little virtual paperclip (officially called Clippit, but that name never caught on) who sat on the bottom right corner of the page, and was programmed to give advice in popup speech bubbles when certain actions were taken. For example, if you wrote out an address and ‘Dear’, Clippy would say ‘Looks like you’re writing a letter. Would you like help?’. The name Tape-E in the livestream seemed to be referring to Clippy, as there are many similarities in the behaviour of Clippy, and the actual tapes/ tape recorders in-universe:

always on by default

appears at inconvenient times

provides help you do not want

hated by (mostly) everyone

watching you with cold dead eyes

enjoyed by nostalgia and retro seekers

Why make Tape-E?

As I am of the same generation as some of the RQ peeps, I unironically loved Clippy and Mr Blobby as a child, and it gives me great joy to imagine, in the TMP universe, Sam getting a little pop up: ‘Looks like you’re trying to code a case file! Would you like some help with that?’ In our world this would be impossible - Windows NT (as the official name) was dropped in 1996, one year before Clippy was born, BUT there is voice recording on TMP’s ancient computers, so it’s not totally impossible! 😅😁

What are cassette tapes?

Just a little recap for those who didn’t grow up with tapes: Cassette Tapes contain information embedded in magnetic tape, wrapped around one spool and attached to a second spool. When played, the spools are turned by the machine and the magnetic tape is wound onto the other spool, the information read out through speakers as the magnetic tape moves through sensors. As the magnetic tape can contain different information depending on the direction of tape movement, you can flip the cassette tape over in the machine, and play the tape again, hearing another load of information. This concept is never utilised in the show, but it does mean that cassette tapes have A-sides, and B-sides (as Vinyl records do). Here, of course, this stands for Archivist-side, and Brutalpipemurder-side. On occasion, the magnetic tapes would become damaged, or bent, and could be pushed out of the cassette, causing a horrible noise, and terror to small children who were only trying to listen to their Just William tapes. When this happened, a pencil (or in my case, my little finger) could be jammed into the spiky spool ‘teeth’, to rewind the magnetic tape back into the cassette. Maybe that’s why the eyes are red? 🩸 I am very glad that the TMA tapes are magic, and record endlessly, never need flipping, and never get chewed up by the hungry machine.

Why is the name Tape-E?

Canon answer: the name stands for Tape-Eyes. Possibly Tape-Entity? Undecided.

Actual answer: Tape-y, Tapey and Tapie spellings look weird to me. I think Tape-E looks best.

Why a tape and not a tape recorder?

if you can crochet a tape recorder, you’re a genius and I love you.

What gender is Tape-E?

I might refer to Tape-E as male sometimes because that’s how people often referred to Clippy. But Tape-E is whatever gender Tape-E feels like being.

Why now?

Why not? also now is a good time because TMP episode 15 is an excellent episode

What’s going to happen to Tape-E?

I’m going to gift it to Jonny sometime, if we get more liveshows or book signings. It’s his fault this exists after all. Plus you can write whatever you like in the speech bubbles! Hopefully I can give it calmly? But maybe Tape-E will be yeeted in his general direction in a fit of ADHD-fuelled social anxiety. Only time will tell.

Tape-E is a pattern and design created entirely by myself. The inspiration and world building from whence it came, is entirely the genius of @jonnywaistcoat Jonny Sims, Rusty Quill @rqbossman and The Magnus Archives, which is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a creative commons attribution, non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license.

Clippy was invented by Microsoft and Kevan Atteberry, who now illustrates children’s books.

Mr Blobby is an adorable abomination, created from a fevered mind.

[nnnyxie]

kuroo, atsumu, osamu, bokuto, ushijima, & kenma with a chubby s/o (i added ken as a little treat [lowkey to myself..])

(pretty & beautiful are used, could be considered suggestive)

(requested by @starrbright)

kuroo tetsuro ;

as much as i love to slander him— he is a true romantic and will treat you like you’re a higher being.

he doesn’t care if you’re chubby or not. he’s the type of guy to say “that just means there’s more of you to love” (which is lowkey kinda cute, he’s so dumb)

i hate him (affectionate). he just adores you and loves your to hold your stomach and hips (he will whisper awful pick up lines in your ear while holding you though [he’s such a loser /aff]). he just can’t get enough of you, he’s constantly touching you, it’s a spectrum of linking pinkies to yk..

anyways… he’s always showering you in affection and gifts. takes you to specific stores that have plus sized clothing. to be more specific, expensive plus sized stores. he makes you try on everything. yk how men do that whole manspread thing?? yeah, he does that on the couches near the dressing rooms and does that little finger whirl to make you twirl (that rhymes).

he’s always telling you how beautiful you are to him and how breathtaking you are. he’s so in love with you it makes him look stupid (affectionate).

he’s ALWAYS bragging to his friends about you and telling all of his coworkers that he has the prettiest partner (he’s so dumb, i love him)

miya atsumu ;

is he a major asshole? yes. but does that extend to you? absolutely not.

he’s another absolute LOSER (affectionate). he’s so in love with you. you could stab him and he’d thank you. i strongly believe he’s very into thick/chubby people. he loves laying on your thighs or stomach.

ngl when you first heard about how he was in high school, you were vv uncomfortable w/ him because you thought he’d treat you the same (even though you’re MSBY’s manager)

so you didn’t interact with him unless it was to pass out towels/water bottles or go over notes (which you tried to get that over with quickly). and it kinda pissed him off cause he thought you were so pretty (it’s physically painful how attractive you are to him).

he decided to confront you one day. the team was in the locker room, yk just doing their thing, and he was finally able to get you alone. so he strides on over to you (like the loser he is) and asks why you avoid him. and obviously you hesitate but he kept pushing for an answer. when you told him, he was genuinely stunned. he stutters out how he’s sorry he made you feel that way and offers to take you to a restaurant as a way to start new (aka he tricked you into going on a date).

anyways— after a few more ‘hang outs’ of getting to know each other, he finally asks you on a proper date (osamu made him. he said that atsumu couldn’t just keep tricking you to going on dates. atsumu protested) (ps if u got boobs, he’ll squish em HARD so beware)

miya osamu ;

my LORD he loves chubby people. you CANNOT change my mind !!!!!

okay okay so…….. he met you at a farmer’s market <3 you had a booth and you were selling his favorite seasonings !!! he didn’t really LOOK at you until he went to pay for his spices and good LORD he basically drooled all over himself.

he whimpered a little… your curves made him feel a teensy bit crazy. and when you spoke?? when you laughed at a corny joke about seasonings?? he fell in love right then and there.

he asked for your number after the small conversation and invited you to try his food at his restaurant. when you realized he was the owner of onigiri miya, you were kind of shocked. you only ever ordered online. plus, i mean— you only got his first name. but that’s besides the point

anyways, you would have cooking/dinner dates and afterwards you’d just cuddle, yk cutesy stuff. he always made it a point to hold all of you or at least most of you. (he just loves touching you)

he has his hands on you whenever he can and he’ll squeeze whatever part of you he could. his favorite though— your butt and thighs. but sometimes he’ll squeeze them too hard and you’ll have to pinch him.

bokuto koutaro ;

okay so— let’s say you work at onigiri miya. you’re the sweet new employee that the team has yet to meet (aside from shitty [/aff] atsumu).

the moment he walks through that door and sees you, it’s like one of those cheesy romcoms where the main character sees a glow around you and everything is in slow motion. brows up, eyes wide, mouth agape, face red. he’s genuinely in awe of you. (atsumu notices and makes sure to get a seat in your serving area)

when you come to bring them their food, bokuto is so nervous— his palms are sweaty and his whole face is red. at first you thought that maybe he was red because he was upset about not getting the other server (yk like red in the face anger??).

he ends up asking for your number at the end of his meal. you thought that maybe it was a joke cause, well, he’s a big ass athlete and usually those people don’t go for your type (which is so stupid bc chubby people are <3 [they’re very much my type]). but those thoughts left when you saw how nervous he was about it. this 190+ cm man was shaking because he was so nervous (it was cute).

he definitely messages you as soon as he leaves. he ends up calling you later that night, just so he could ask to take you out on a date (poor guy was too nervous to ask when he saw you) (the date went well and was very nice).

he’s very physically affectionate so expect his constant need for touch. when you’re both sitting, he likes to hold your thigh. especially when he’s driving (yk like— the one hand on the wheel, one hand on your thigh thing). he also loves to hold your hips and squeeze them. he says it gives him energy— doesn’t make sense but okay !

ushjima wakatoshi ;

he’s like— a chubby chaser but also not?? if that makes sense???

anyways !! i’d like to think you two have been together since the end of high school <3 you guys met through tendou in your first year (he was totally setting you two up) and oddly became fast friends. then he asked you out after the karasuno match (you were comforting him and the question just came out on it’s own. like he was thinking about being with you and his mouth said something before his brain could comprehend).

so yes, you’ve been together for a looong while.

he unintentionally brags about you. like— the adlers will ask why he declines their invitations to go out sometimes and he’ll say “my partner is making dinner at home. they’re very good, i’d rather have their food. restaurants don’t make food as good as theirs” but that ends up in the adlers coming to your house to try your food. (a warning would’ve been nice)

speaking of food and when you’re cooking— he loves to hold you while you do so. he’ll squish your stomach and hips (his favorite parts) while swaying to the music that’s playing (maybe you got soul and r&b playing [i am currently fixated on lauryn hill so bare with me]) it can get a little annoying (i like cooking alone so,,, yeah) but he’s very sweet and cute and amazing, so he gets a pass.

mmmm this man loves to cuddle, i just know it. he loves the position where like— half of his body is draped over you and he has his head on your chest cause it lets him touch his favorite parts of you.

kozume kenma ;

he doesn’t care what you look like. if you have a good personality then that’s all that matters to him.

when he’s gaming, he likes to sit on the floor in front of you so that he’s in between your thighs and they sort of rest on his shoulders. which can be dangerous because sometimes he’ll get so excited and try to jump up but drags you off the couch/bed.

whenever you’re playing games (maybe you’re taking turns??) he’ll turn himself (yes, he’s still on the floor) and rest his head between your thighs or lays his head on one of them. sometimes he’ll lay on the couch/bed so he could hug your waist (i like to think he’s clingy when he’s close w/ someone).

he’ll brag about you on his stream and taunt kuroo for not having a partner yet. he’ll actually be so mean to kuroo saying shit like “you’re the only cat at a horse orgy party” (they have such a beautiful friendship)

he also likes to sit in your lap (i wanna cradle him… i think i have issues??) and usually faces towards you when he does

he’s a BITER!!!!! if he’s ever laying on your lap or sitting between your legs— he’ll just fuckin bite you. when he has his head on your stomach??? CHOMP. when you’re cooking or putting dishes away?? shoulder bite. he’s just the type of guy to bite as a way of showing affection (me too tho ???)

my boys <3

sorry this took so long!!

[ni-kism]

Pickup lines Enhypen boys would say (⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■⁠)

Including : all enha boys

Warnings : pet names

Genre : fluff

HEESEUNG (rizzseung)

Something corny you'll both cringe at after he says it and looks at you while biting his lips although you love it. (He's hot.)

He suddenly speaks up as you're making morning coffee for the both of you.

"Sugar dissolves in water. Remember not to walk in the rain or I'll lose a sweetie like you"

JAY

Sweet and simple ones to cheer you up. He uses the same ones all over again but you still love hearing it after a bad day at work.

"Remind me to thank you mom"

"For what?"

"For giving birth to my pretty girl"

It works wonders for you mood after having to face your shitty boss.

JAKE

Also sweet and simple sometimes maybe it comes in a joke. Usually to rizz you up.

He comes in the room all of a sudden and tells you "knock knock"

"who's there?" You answered him removing your focus from your computer to face him.

"where when"

"where when who?"

"my place, tonight, you and me"

...

"Jake we live in the same house."

"I don't know it sounded so much better in my head!!"

SUNGHOON (rizzhoon)

Would probably praise himself in the process of saying his pickup line. You love his confidence and he loves you. Who are you to NOT play along with the ice prince? He calls you princess most of the time plus he's clingy when you're alone.

"Princess?" He calls out.

"Yeah?"

Silence.

..."Yes my most handsome and charming ice prince who I've sworn to eternity withhhh?"

"Better. Anyways I think those gaps between your fingers should be filled with mine. I can't hold conversations but I can hold you.

He strolls in, shuts your computer, picks you up and goes to cuddle you on the couch. Guess you're not finishing that report by tonight like how you're supposed to.

SUNOO

He learns them from heeseung resulting in fairly weird pick up lines or ones that take a while to understand. Sometimes he gets it wrong because heeseung wanted to tease him.

"Baby can I tie your shoes? Don't you want to fall for me again."

"Sunoo it's "don't want you to fall for someone else"! "

Heeseung told him the right one but he kept practicing in his head over and over again that he mixed it up but you find it adorable.

JUNGWON

The members hyped him up to do this to you. Sometimes he looks it up online and waits for the perfect moment to strike.

"Are you mixed?" He asks you all of a sudden after coming out of the shower.

"What?"

"Cuz look you're half fine and half mine."

"You're shower thoughts are something else Wonnie."

NI-KI (Rizzimura Rizzki y'all he's bias wrecking me so hard nowadays)

You looked up haunted houses to go to on your date with Riki and while scrolling he speaks up.

"Why do you wanna go to a haunted house?"

"the thrill seems ni-" he cuts you off before you finish to say his line.

"I can make you scream at home too~"

"...RIKI-"

Conclusion you made? Riki is freaky. It even rhymes!

[two-entire-bits]

Deaf Outsiders Headcanons

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm hearing, and I've only been studying sign language, deaf history, and Deaf culture from a Deaf professor for the past couple months, and I do not know everything. I've researched the medical backgrounds for the genetic conditions and injuries mentioned, but some information might be incorrect and/or I might've misunderstood some things. If it is or I have, please tell me! I don't mean any misinformation or disrespect and I apologize if I cause any offense.

These also include some other disabilities!

Some world-related stuff:

There's no deaf schools in Tulsa, but the Oklahoma School for the Deaf was founded in 1908 so the time periods would hypothetically work out

In this alternative story there would be a deaf school in Tulsa and the Curtis brothers would all attend/have attended said school

I know it's Gallaudet University, but before 1986 it was a college

For the Curtis family: all of them are deaf. I think they'd have Autosomal Dominant Non-Syndromic (DFNA) deafness, maybe a variant in the MYH14 gene, which causes those with the variant to progressively lose their hearing within the first 3 decades of their lives. The Curtis parents taught their boys how to sign ASL, which they'd use at home, speak English, which they'd only use for hearing people, and lip read, also for hearing people, to an extent when they were young. The Curtis parents encouraged their boys to talk in sign as much as possible, but also were very upfront about ableism and how the world is built for hearing people.

Ponyboy:

Completely loses his hearing around 7-10

He's good at talking but doesn't like to, and very good at lip reading so he can watch movies

He still likes to write and caught onto English spelling and grammar quick

He often carries a notebook around to write in but mostly writes quick in ASL's grammar

He also uses it to write things to hearing people when he doesn't want to speak

He signs REALLY fast, he has a lot of things to say and good motor skills and sometimes even his parents have to ask him to repeat himself

Lexicalizes words all the time on accident

Signs to himself all the time, especially when he's alone

Likes to try and figure out what the actors are saying in movies and figure out the plot without the dialogue and sign along with the lines he can follow

VERY visual storyteller

Darrel:

Completely loses his hearing around 12-15

He can talk and lip-read very well, which he doesn't prefer but it's useful at work

Always kind of dreamed of playing football at Gallaudet, but always knew it wasn't really possible

Also signs to himself, but only when he's alone

Soda:

Completely loses his hearing closer to 3-5 and struggles with speaking compared to Darry and Ponyboy.

He always had hard time understanding English, and that plus being deaf and dyslexia contributed to him feeling stupid and dropping out of school (especially compared to Ponyboy)

He and Ponyboy talk in tactile sign at night before bed when everything's dark

His parents told him "Darry" rhymes with "Dairy" in English when he was really young and half the time he just signs "milk" instead of Darry's sign name to tease him. He got Pony in on it too

Johnny:

Hearing, but has apraxia of speech and selective mutism

His parents hate him for it and sent him to public mainstream school anyways

The Curtis parents taught him ASL after they met him

His apraxia and mutism contribute to why his teachers "give up on him" and to him having to repeat a grade in addition to other learning problems he was having and struggling to get the material quick enough for the curriculum

One reason why he was so scared in the hospital was because his hands were so burned he couldn't sign

Steve:

born with x-linked recessive deafness to hearing parents. His mother carried the gene and passed it to him

An especially good driver because of this

He goes to the same deaf school as the Curtis brothers and met Soda when they were in grade school, same as the book

Doesn't know how to speak English and doesn't want/care to learn it

When he was younger, he almost got caught stealing a car's hubcaps because he didn't realize how loud it was until he was telling the gang later about how the owners came outside and spotted him and Two-Bit told him that they probably heard the clattering of the metal hubcaps on the tarmac

Two-Bit:

Hearing, but his mom and sister (Tammy) are both deaf, he just didn't get the gene

Speaks English and ASL fluently but still stutters while signing because of motor skill issues

Purposefully messes up his grammar or signs sometimes just to annoy Tammy

Dallas:

Born hearing, but has Ménière's disease because he was jumped or in a car accident (something that wasn't his fault) when he was around 13-15 and the head trauma caused bleeding in the inner ear and his hearing is fluctuating at the time of the book

He's scared and angry because it'll get better and then worse and he never knows how or when it's going to change

He gets annoyed by the tinnitus and dizzy spells, and will often hole up somewhere when he feels a vertigo episode coming on and won't leave until it's over

The Curtis parents start teaching him basic sign and things to expect and things to know if he ends up permanently loosing his hearing, but he stopped trying to learn anything after they died

On one particularly shitty day when he didn't realize how loud he was being and Two told him he was yelling and he got so pissed at everything and that he didn't even realize he was being loud that he punched Two in the face

He's angry that it was something he could've stopped, that it happened when he wasn't actively looking for a fight or driving recklessly, or that it wasn't genetic because then he'd have someone/something to actively hate and blame. He never found out who jumped/crashed into him

Bonus: Socs!

Marcia:

Acquired hearing loss due to a recent head injury while barrel racing

It's not too bad at the time of the book, but they don't know if it'll get worse or not yet

She's not too worried about it, but every once in a while when she thinks about it a lot she gets really scared about what will happen if she loses her hearing permanently

She's scared she'll have to quit dance

Her mom kept her in high school and got her hearing aids eventually when it got worse

When she starts dating Two-Bit, it's another reason why she gets along with his mom and Tammy so well

They help teach her some basic sign and about Deaf culture, and kind of quench any fears she had about not being able to be happy/live if you're deaf because she didn't know anything about being deaf

Once she's learned enough sign to have conversations, she starts taking her hearing aids off at their house

Cherry:

Hearing

She was there when Marcia crashed and comforts her when she gets really worried about her future, but she doesn't really get it or know much about it

She wasn't rude about the way Pony pronounced things or later that night, when she was waiting for Ponyboy to write out what he wanted to say at the Drive-In and he got tired enough he didn't want to have to speak, which really surprised him

Bob:

Hearing

Knows nothing and could not care less about d/Deaf and generally disabled people

Thinks he can make Johnny talk if he beats him hard enough (partial motivation behind him and the Socs jumping Johnny before the book)

He knows Marcia's losing her hearing and is kind about it

Rolls his eyes sometimes when Marcia asks Cherry to repeat herself

Randy:

Hearing

Has no clue how to deal with Marcia's crash or her losing her hearing

Just tries (key word) to comfort her but doesn't do much else, just kind of goes on as normal

Similar to Bob, he'll get annoyed if she asks him to repeat himself too many times but feels a little bad about it

Paul:

Hearing

Learned some signs when he was friends with Darry

He didn't care to remember them when they stopped seeing each other

Felt "betrayed" when Darry said he dreamed of going to Gallaudet to play football because Paul just always assumed they'd go play together at some hearing mainstream college and he doesn't want to "learn all that shit" or "be around those kinds of people that much" just to play football at the same college as Darry

Bev:

Hearing

Knows about Marcia and says she doesn't care, but every once in a while she'll say something or make a joke that's just rude and shitty

Like Bob and Randy, she also doesn't cut Marcia a lot of slack if she doesn't hear something one of them says (Cherry is pretty much the only one that does)

She purposefully tries not to think about Marcia's future because she knows she'll get really upset about it, cos she thinks (and pretty much all the Soc's and hearing population, including Marcia) being deaf means you can't live or be happy

[bonefall]

Glitch Warrior: Stonewing

FUNFACT turns out that Stonewing in ShadowClan actually had a beta name. He was called Stonetooth, and was going to be mates with an obscure background cat called Wasptail.

Since I'm scrounging up ShadowClan cats here I'm absolutely doing something with this. But, there's already a Stonetooth. So we're looking at a conflict rename, lads!

Before getting to the poll, here's some deets about this guy;

Based on how the timeline shakes out, they're likely to end up as the child of Spindleclaw-- another Glitch Warrior, the brown sister of Ivytail.

This would make them Blackstar's grand-nespring.

If so, they might also be siblings with Shrewfoot.

Wherever they end up on the tree, this cat will be a sibling of Stonewing. Probably a littermate.

BB!Stonewing is actually deaf from birth. It works especially well if they have a sibling, because the home signs they develop to communicate can become part of the sign language that's going to evolve after SkyClan's arrival lmao.

The two can split the roles Canon!Stonewing has occupied. (Bonus, this can also fix an error that was in ASC: Star where Stonewing was a prisoner in the camp and the island at the same time lmao)

Stone"tooth" will probably be mates with Wasptail for a while, but I don't know if kittens will result. Stonewing's kittens with Grassheart are unchanged.

I am not committed to any particular gender for this cat yet. I'm leaning towards molly or gib.

For new names, I have three thoughts;

Option 1: StoneCHAT-tooth

A bird with a song like two stones being clicked. I feel like this could be a really cute reference to the idea that Stonewing was born deaf and doesn't speak, and so Stonechat-tooth helps interpret for him.

Since Stonechat-tooth is a bit long, I might make it Chat-tooth. Or just give them the Squilf treatment with their nickname-- Stoot.

Option 2: Bonetooth

A rhyme, but also ShadowClan sense of humor at work. Stonewing is pure white with dark blue eyes, and his sibling Bonetooth would be stony-gray. Mismatching colors chosen for the kits, to confuse their enemies.

Plus, Bone is a cool prefix. I say with absolutely no bias whatsoever.

Option 3: Different Kind of Rock-tooth

There's actually lots of types of neat rocks to use here. Fossils are not uncommon, fairy coins mean that both Fairy and Coin are valid, conglomerate rocks mean that "Cobbletooth" could be a totally valid name here.

Or even just Rocktooth, of course. Simplest alternate name.

EXACT details to be hammered out, so the precise name is chosen later; which BROAD CATEGORY should this rename go into?