#PLUS I DID SOME HANDSTAND WALKING

[versary]

also forgot to say - we were in brisbane over the weekend for a big crossfit comp and we came third in our division! really proud of our effort, plus we absolutely nailed our nutrition and hydration - 6 events over 2 days in the brissie heat and humidity was pretty serious haha

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Princess & The Playboy (Part 6)

Summary: Sam and Max's plan to get their siblings invited to a party may have worked but Sebastian Monroe is a dangerous man and they may have just put not only their lives but their families at risk too...

Masterlist

Pairing: NFL Quarterback!Dean x Pop Star!reader

Word Count: 5,400ish

Warnings: language, family trauma/angst, kidnapping

A/N: Uh oh...

_________

Two Weeks Later

Reader POV

“Damn,” said Dean, shaking out his arm after you’d tossed him a football in the backyard. “I’m going to need your arm workout and no, I am not joking.”

“Oh my god, did I tell you the dance choreographer wanted me to learn to do a handstand so I could sing, upside down? I shut that shit down so fast,” you said, Dean gently tossing the ball back to you. 

“I’m sure you could do it. But I don’t blame you for not wanting to,” he said, catching the ball one handed. “Do you get a lot of say in that stuff? Dance moves?”

“That would require me to be able to dance,” you laughed, clasping both arms around the ball when he threw it back.

“She’s right. God awful dancer when it’s not choreographed. Miracle she can fake it as well as she does,” said Eric from the patio table, glancing up from his phone. “It’s four by the way.”

“Ugh. Why’d we say yes to this stupid party?” you asked. Dean shrugged.

“This guy donates a bunch of money to the Wolves charity every year. Plus Emma said it’s not a bad idea to go to a charity event together. Apparently it helps the public not think of me as such a scoundrel.” You tossed him the ball one last time, clasping your hands behind your back.

“I mean you are the big bad playboy corrupting the virtue of the sweet princess of pop,” you said, batting your eyes, twirling your hips. You grinned when he frowned, his eyes like a predator sizing up his prey. “I think the media is right about you. Such a bad influence.”

“Oh keep it up, princess, and I’ll tell them you ain’t innocent in the slightest.”

“Someone put me out of my misery,” groaned Eric, rising to his feet. “I’m getting dressed and going over protocols with the team. We’ll head out at seven.”

“Ain’t it kind of early to get ready?” asked Dean as you tossed him the ball one last time. Eric only laughed and headed inside, Dean cocking his head at you. “I know girls take a long time to get ready but three hours?”

“Shower. Shave. Makeup. Hair. Plus I told Sloane I’d help do her hair and pick out a dress,” you said, Dean humming. “I’m sure there’s a college game on you could watch for awhile.”

“I got some game film I can review,” he said, a heavy sigh in his shoulders. You wrapped your arms around him, Dean ditching the ball to return it. “It just never ends.”

“You love football, though,” you said, Dean nodding. 

“I do. But every year it’s getting to be more and more. I know you understand the pressure of it all. I just…I’m tired. I want to have more of a life outside my job,” he said, sliding his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” you said softly, Dean sharing the same sad smile you wore. “Me, I can have less tour dates and not put out an album every single year. I can make more wiggle room for myself. But I know you can’t. And sometimes I worry when I watch you play, pushing your body so hard.”

“I’m incredibly lucky I’m the least sacked QB in the league. I’ve had only one surgery and that was cause I broke my toe like an idiot on a coffee table. I don’t want to be like these guys that stay in too long and wind up with so much pain at forty. Or worse.” 

“I guess the thing to ask yourself is, do you want to keep going? Or could you walk away and be satisfied?” you asked. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. 

“All I know is I used to put my head down, bury myself in the game. All I looked forward to was getting to the season, the start of a game, feeling that rush. This year…I’m looking forward to being done with work and games way too much. It’s like I’d rather be somewhere else…with someone else,” he murmured.

You nodded, squeezing his hands. “Nothing to decide today.”

“I know. Go get ready. I can occupy myself for a few hours.”

“Damn,” you said when it was nearly seven. Sloane looked down at herself alarmed, glancing back worried. “Sloane, you’re fucking hot.”

“I’m forty two,” she scoffed, smoothing out the floor length gown. “I’m not hot.”

“Hell yeah you are,” you said, Sloane tucking a strand of freshly curled hair behind her ear. “Eric’s going to fucking drool.”

“He better not,” she mumbled, taking a breath as she put her leg up on a chair and hiked the skirt portion up. She opened up her clutch sat on the end of the bed and slapped a very small thigh holster on her right leg, a smaller than usual gun inside. 

“Right. Cause really hot women packing heat are total turn offs for him,” you said, adjusting the strap that ran across your shoulder. She pouted and you handed her the clutch. “You said you could work with him tonight. We’re only bringing two of you inside and we wanted our best.”

“I can. He’s good about not speaking about anything but strictly work lately,” she said, sitting on the bed. “Does he seem…different to you?”

You knew why she was asking. Eric had told you he needed a few hours a week off for therapy a few weeks back. You practically jumped for joy that he was going to get some help to work through some things. Then it all shattered when he said it was related to his dad and needing to address some stuff he did to him as a kid. He didn’t share more but you had a feeling that had as much impact on him as his days in the military, probably more.

“It’s hard to tell with him,” you said, trying to respect his privacy. Plus, it actually was difficult to see a difference. Eric held everything close to the chest. Sometimes too much.

“Yeah. There’ll be no issues working together this evening,” she said, forcing a smile. You wanted to offer some reassurance that he was trying and maybe someday things between them could change. But honestly, you had no clue if they would work things out.

“Good. Well, let’s go see the boys.” A moment later you were coming down the stairs, Dean and Eric wandering out from the front hall in their tuxedos. Eric had always looked handsome when he dressed up but Dean?

He was walking sin in the tailored outfit, showing off his large shoulders and trim waist. You could feel the heat in your cheeks when he stared like he wanted to devour you then and there.

“Wow,” said Dean, a growing smile on his face, eyeing you up and down. It was a fairly simple dress. Black. One shoulder and a thin strap on the other. Form fitting up top before it became loose at the hips. It probably didn’t match black tie standard one hundred percent but it’d been sitting in your closet for two years and you finally had an excuse to wear it.

“Wow yourself,” you said, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. “Put you in one of these and you’d never imagine you spend literally every single day in flannels, henleys, and black tees.”

“Strange considering I’ve seen you wearing those clothing items a lot more yourself lately,” he teased, grinning down like a cat staring at the mouse it’d cornered.

“Oh, just a coincidence,” you said, Eric clearing his throat. You rolled your eyes, getting a roll in return. “You look nice too, Eric. I know you need the compliment on your appearance or your ego will bust.”

“Why did I take this job,” he mumbled to himself, staring at Sloane as she walked ahead for the front door. “You look beautiful.”

Sloane stopped dead in her tracks, looking over her shoulder at him, his gaze shooting to you. 

“I know you’ve wanted to wear that dress for awhile,” he said to you, Sloane rolling her eyes and walking outside. Eric closed his eyes when she was gone, Dean slapping his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I’m sure my hyper observant protection agent didn’t catch the way you said that straight to her face and then pretended to say it to your boss.” Eric shrugged him off and grumbled on his way outside, harshly pulling the door behind him. “Damn. I was hoping they’d have some kind of fairytale moment or shit. He looked like he wanted to fuck her over the kitchen table.”

“I don’t know. We’ll just…wait and see what happens,” you said, holding out your hand. “Ready to go?”

“One sec,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out. He slipped something elastic over your wrist, beaming when you stared down at it to find it was a friendship bracelet, like the kind from when you were kids. This one was black, gray and white, the LA Wolves colors. You turned it over when you felt a few square beads, expecting to see DEAN.

Your heart skipped when you saw MAX with a few beads separating it from SAM. You glanced up Dean, his green eyes flittering down to where he’d removed his jacket, right sleeve pushed up. 

Dean had always had Sam’s initials tattooed on his forearm. You remember that happened at some point in college, not too long after Sam went missing. The initials right below it were new though, his skin tinged a light pink from where the tattoo was still fresh.

“Is that-”

“Max’s initials? Yeah, looks like it,” he said, a coy smile crossing his face. You held out a finger, Dean humming it was alright to touch. A thick swallow was audible as you traced over the delicate skin, black ink soaked into the creamy canvas of his body.

“Fuck you,” you whispered, Dean’s face falling.

“Sweetheart, I’m-” he said as he wiped at your eyes, mascara coming away on the back of your hand. You laughed, shaking your head at him.

“Look what you did you sweet man,” you laughed, a few tears falling free. “Dean, you didn’t have to put his name on your body.”

“Brothers go on the arm. It’s kind of my thing,” he said, your bottom lip wobbling as a swell of emotion hit you. “Are you mad?”

“No,” you croaked out, squeezing your bracelet. “I wish they were with us.”

“Me too,” he said softly, wiping his thumb under your eye, stopping a tear from falling. “Y/N.”

You met his green eyes, thumb stroking your cheek with a barely there touch.

“You understand you’re my girl, right?” You nodded, Dean’s head tilting slightly, eyes scanning down to your lips slowly and back up just as lazily. “So. Am I yours?”

You held a finger to his lips and turned towards the front door, pulling it open, Eric and Sloane both leaned against an SUV.

“We’ll leave in thirty,” you said, pulling the door shut again, finding Dean with a raised eyebrow. “I need ten to fix my makeup. The other twenty is to show you exactly how much you’re mine.”

Dean POV

I stepped outside while Y/N used the bathroom, the brisk air doing wonders for cooling me down after what I could only describe as the most intimate handjob I’d ever received. It was the one thing that stuck out to me about sex with Y/N. Every other partner I’d had, it was about release, pleasure. With Y/N though, it felt different. A good different. Yeah, it was about the pleasure there too but it was…comforting in a way, joined together. 

Once Y/N had let go of her fear of it, intimacy turned out to be one of her favorite things in the world. And it was becoming one of mine too. She just made me feel safe. Whole again.

“Told you she’d cry about the tattoo,” mumbled Eric in my ear, hands clasped behind his back. “Surprised you didn’t get down on one knee yet.”

“We understand what we are to each other,” I said, adjusting the sleeve of my jacket. “The time for that’ll come eventually but I don’t think either one of us is in a rush to get there.”

“Ready!” exclaimed Y/N, rushing outside barefoot, the skirt of her dress bunched up in one hand, heels in the other. “How late are we?”

“Oh, only forty five minutes,” said Eric, Y/N jumping in the backseat when he opened the door. “Clutch?”

“I’m the purse tonight,” I chuckled, patting my pocket where her phone, a lipstick and extra hair tie resided. 

“Good. I usually get stuck with it,” said Eric, patting my bottom. “Let’s move it kiddos.”

“Hopefully this party doesn’t suck,” said Y/N beside me as we drove up a long driveway thirty minutes later, lips pursed.

“You hate parties,” Eric chuckled from the passenger seat.

“I hate parties where people ask me to sing at their kid’s sweet sixteen which is like, almost all the time,” she said, my hand reaching over and interlacing our hands together. “Sorry. That sounded bitchy.”

“It sounded like that’s really annoying to have happen all the time,” I said, the car slowing down behind another luxury SUV. “We won’t stay long, just a few hours. I know we have to do this for me.”

“Hey,” she said, voice firm. My eyes flickered to hers in the dark space. “We both have more money than we know what to do with. I’m perfectly happy to waste an evening if it means sending some of that money to a good cause. You getting some good press out of it is a bonus.”

“I ever tell you how wonderful you are?” I asked, heart swelling up as she blushed. “Want to go show off your reformed bad boy, sweetheart?”

“You were never bad,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. She grinned goofily and wiped them off with her thumb. “Lipstick.”

“You can take it off if you promise to put it back later,” I said, Y/N’s eyes flirting down to my groin, a wicked smirk on her face. “Down girl.”

“I’ll play with you later,” I said as we stopped. Eric slid out of the passenger seat as I opened the back door. I exited and held out a hand, helping Y/N down in her obnoxious skinny little heels. They looked like a death trap to me but she danced around on stage for three hours in them so if anyone knew how to work them, it was her.

Damn she was sexy in that dress. Almost as sexy as those red flannel pajama pants she wore last night. And that cozy blue sweater on Thursday. Or that-

“Stop staring at her,” said Sloane, pushing on my back so I’d move and she could slip out of the backseat. “You’re like a puppy obsessed with her.”

“Be nice,” Y/N chided, taking a step forward, letting me follow her lead. Eric and Sloane fell in place behind us, the driver staying with the car and driving off towards where the cars were being parked. 

A man in a nice suit opened the front door for us, revealing a grand hall that made Y/N’s house look like a starter home. 

“This guy is loaded,” I whispered in Y/N’s ear as we found ourselves quickly surrounded by people when they caught sight of her. There must have been three hundred people at this thing.

“Here we go,” she mumbled before putting on a big smile, immediately getting asked to be in a selfie with a woman in her twenties.

For the next thirty minutes it felt like we were bombarded, stuck not ten feet past the door in a never ending line of people wanting to talk to Y/N. Yes, some people were football fans but a vast majority were there for Y/N, some nervous, some practically jumping out of their skins.

“Damn dude, you’re beyond lucky,” said some guy to me as his wife took a picture with Y/N. 

“I know I am,” I responded, Y/N giving me a flash of a smile.

“She needs a break,” whispered Eric in my ear. I stepped forward and cut off the next gaggle of women that wanted to approach. 

“Excuse me, I need to steal Y/N for a minute,” I said, taking her arm and leading her down the large open hall.

“Thanks,” she said, grabbing a glass of champagne off a servers tray. She knocked it back and I started to scan the room in search of water for her.

“Hi,” said a teenage girl in a light blue dress, approaching slowly. She seemed out of place at the event filled with adults in designer clothes. “I’m Cecilia Monroe, Sebastian Monroe’s daughter.”

Ah she was this guys kid. That made sense. “Nice to meet you. We haven’t met your father yet. We’d like to thank him for his numerous donations to the Wolves charity over the years.”

“You have a lovely home,” said Y/N, the girl blushing, clasping her hand over her wrist in a failed attempt to hide her friendship bracelet. Y/N caught it and smiled. “Did you go to the tour this year?”

“Uh yeah. My dad got VIP tickets,” she said shyly, suddenly straightening her back. “I’ll be on the veranda. Please come find me when you’re through with my dad. It’s very important.”

She scuttled away, Y/N raising an eyebrow.

“I think you have a superfan,” I chuckled, Y/N biting her lip. “You think she’s a problem?”

“No. She’s a fan clearly but I don’t know,” she said, waving for Eric and Sloane to join us from where they stood together by a table of appetizers. 

“You two good?” asked Sloane, their eyes finding the young girl and watching her leave.

“Keep an eye on that girl,” Y/N said, nodding as Cecilia went through open back doors outside. They both readied themselves but Y/N shook her head. “Just watch her. This might be a Denver situation.”

“Denver?” I asked, Eric frowning. 

“Fan in Denver was being abused by her parents. Subtly asked Y/N for help at an event. Smart kid actually,” said Eric. “Sloane and I can try a soft approach with the girl, get a feel for if something is up, relay we can keep her safe .”

“This guy does have a lot of private security,” said Sloane. “If something’s happening, she may feel safer knowing we can protect her in the interim.”

“Let’s go talk to the girl,” said Y/N just as a man in a very nice suit came striding down the hall towards us. “I think that’s our host.”

“Eric, Sloane, go see what’s up. We can fend for ourselves for awhile,” I said. They scuttled away as the man greeted us, holding out a hand and shaking mine firmly.

“Sebastian Monroe,” he said with a pleasant enough smile. “And you two are the power couple my teenage daughter will not stop talking about.”

“Yeah, we get that a lot. We said hello to her earlier,” said Y//N with a fake smile, staying close to my side when the men looked like he was going to reach for her hand. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Dean Winchester,” I said, taking my hand back, the other wrapped around Y/N’s waist. The man only smiled though, like we didn’t need to introduce ourselves. “I’ve heard you’re a Wolves fan.”

“Oh not anymore than anyone else,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Although a signed jersey by you would certainly go for big bucks at our next charity auction.”

“We’ll have to make that happen for sure,” I said, not enjoying the way his gaze traveled down Y/N’s body. I’d seen it plenty of times tonight but his seemed the most sleazy of all. 

“Speaking of the auction, where are the tables? I’d love to donate,” said Y/N.

“Right side of the veranda, sweetie.” Y/N hummed, giving me a look to join her as soon as I could. “Boy, if I was ten years younger.”

I couldn’t hide my annoyance, Sebastian flashing me a smile. “Oh no. Please go ahead and tell me what you’d do if you were ten years younger.”

“Easy kid. Half the population would bone her if they could,” he said, sipping from the glass in his hand. He took his turn to eye me, a curious look on his face. “You know, I could be inclined to offer another sizeable donation to the Wolves charity for those kids if I could get one of those signed jerseys myself.”

I bit my tongue, both of us aware of the clear message. Refuse and good ol’ Sebastian stops donating a million dollars each year to kids in poverty.

“I’m sure you got one around here somewhere we could fix up,” I said. Sebastian threw an arm over my shoulder and I hide my cringe. 

“Good man. Come on. I got one right in my game room.”

Reader POV

There wasn’t really anything you wanted from the silent auction but you had found a general donation slip at the end of the table and jotted down your agent’s information. You’d looked around for Eric and Sloane or the girl when you finished but hadn’t found any of them which probably wasn’t a good sign. You frowned and walked over the railings edge, looking around the dim yard for any sign of them.

“Bruschetta?” asked one of the servers. 

“No thank you,” you said without looking.

“I must insist,” he said. You rolled your eyes, ready to give it to this guy but something seemed familiar about him. He handed you one on a small napkin as you kept staring. “Take a bite and smile, pretend it’s really good.”

You’d had more than a handful of dangerous fan interactions over the years but this felt…different.

You did as he asked, faking wide eyes at the average at best food. “Who are you?”

“Do not make a scene,” he said as you finished off the food. “I need to get to your bodyguards.”

“Are you trying to protect that girl? Cecilia?” you asked as you played along and took another piece off the tray.

“What? No. I don’t have time for this,” he said, stepping in front of you, your gaze narrowing. “Do not ask questions. Just get me and Max the fuck out of here.”

“Max?” Your heart skipped a beat, the food falling from your hand as you understand where you’d seen him before. “Y-You’re Sam.”

“We’re watched. Get your guards to get us out. Don’t get caught or we’re dead,” he said, turning away and offering a couple nearby food from his tray. You swallowed, instantly putting on your performer’s smile. The one you wore that time you had food poisoning during a concert and were throwing up between songs back in the summer. The crowd had no fucking clue you felt like shit while you gave them the show of their lives.

Time to act your fucking ass off. 

You walked past Sam without a second glance, wishing you could ask him all the questions swirling around in your head. Tell him he was going to be okay. Give him a damn hug and tell him he was safe now.

But you wore that damn smile, all while your blood was boiling. You’d had a lot of dark fantasies about what you’d do to the person that took Max. In recent weeks that’d turned to include Sam too. 

It turned out the monster was a hundred feet away from you inside some fucking mansion.

“Y/N,” said Sloane, appearing through a set of open doors in the house, catching your arm a little roughly. “Stay in public.”

“I need to talk-” She shot daggers at you, shutting you up. 

“Stay in public for the love of god or Eric will kill me,” she said, loosening her grip. “In forty five seconds I need you to be the biggest distraction in the world. Do not go in any rooms with anyone. Your fame will keep you safe but only if there are people around to witness it. Eric has eyes on him. Do not ask questions. Understand?”

“Sam’s on the veranda,” you whispered, Sloane nodding. Cecilia must have told her and Eric about your brothers.

“Go give us a shot to get them out of here.” You nodded and slipped inside, heart thumping away in your throat. Max was with with Eric. Wherever he was, he was with Eric. He was safe. And Sam should have been with Sloane by then. They were both safe.

As long as they got them out of this house and into the damn car before anyone could notice. Before all those private security guards seemingly on the edge of every room could stop them. Your driver was fast though. They just had to get the boys in the car and they’d be alright.

So you needed to be a distraction. A big fucking distraction and buy them time. You froze in the middle of the hallway, watching Sebastian leave a room with Dean by his side, horribly annoyed from the looks of it. An idea sparked in your mind, one you hoped Dean forgave you for someday. 

Yeah, you knew how to cause a big fucking distraction alright.

Dean POV

“You son of a bitch!” screamed Y/N. Normal people could scream loud. A goddamn professional singer that could belt out ballads while running? The whole house went silent at her ear piercing shriek. Even the string orchestra stopped playing. I stared at her as she climbed on top of a table in the center hall, my eyes going wide. “You fucking cheater! You’re a fucking cheater Dean Winchester!”

“Excuse me?” I said, a hundred already with their phones out with even more people piling into the house from the veranda. “Sweetheart-”

“Don’t sweetheart me!” she screamed again. What the fuck was happening? “You’re a cheating bastard! You swore you were different!”

“Y/N, get off the table,” I said gently, very aware of the many phones that were facing us, even some from the freaking staff and private event security. Y/N only backed away when I reached for her, fury in her eyes so visceral it felt like it burned. “Y/N what-”

“I know what you did with her! By the fucking cherry blossoms? Our cherry blossoms? You think you can sleep around on me? I’m the motherfucking Princess of Pop! The world fucking loves me!” 

Something was wrong. Besides the fact I hadn’t cheated, Y/N wasn’t one to scream at people from tabletops. She wasn’t drunk and she wasn’t on drugs. And we had no fucking cherry blossoms. Except for the fact it was the code to get in her house. 

Trust. She was asking me to fucking trust her right now in front of three hundred people while she tore down my reputation.

If my girl was losing her shit, well damn I was going to play right along.

“Oh get off your high fucking horse!” I shouted, Y/N flinching for a brief moment like it’d stung. “I never made you promises. We aren’t even fucking exclusive!”

“What?!” she shouted back as Sebastian came over, clearing his throat.

“Perhaps if you two could-”

“This bitch is a moron for thinking I’d ever want someone like her. Of course I’m dicking around with you! You really think I want some goodie two shoes like you?”

“Man whore!” she shouted.

“Fucking prude!” I screamed back, praying to god Y/N knew that every word out of my mouth was a lie. “No wonder no one wants to date you. Getting in your pants wasn’t even worth it!”

“Funny since getting in yours just takes a smile. I’m surprised you haven’t contracted every disease known to man you pig!”

“At least I get some! You’re wound up so tight surprised anything can fucking fit up there!” Fuck, I was really going to hate myself in the morning.

Y/N was halfway through screaming back at me when I felt both my phone and Y/N’s go off in my pocket.

YOUR BROTHERS ARE SAFE. HOST SECURITY KNOWS WE GOT THEM OUT. OUR SECURITY & FEDS ON THE WAY. ETA TEN MINUTES. DON’T TRUST LOCAL COPS. CORRUPTED. HOST IS BAD GUY. STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND GUARDS. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO TO STAY IN PUBLIC. 

“What the fuck does brothers safe mean?” I asked, tossing my phone to her. Y/N caught it one handed, her whole body relaxing momentarily before tensing again, her rage suddenly on it’s true target.

Sebastian Monroe.

“Our brothers were here,” she grit out. She ripped off her heels and hopped down onto the floor, stalking over to Sebastian slowly like he was her prey. Her face darkened and I swore she looked ready to tear someone’s throat out. “Our baby brothers were in this fucking house! As your servers! Not of their free will! No. No, they were being watched. Forced. Last I checked, our baby brothers were kidnapped and they didn’t get un-fucking kidnapped.”

She gripped her heel tight in her left hand, right clenched so hard I saw the bone against the skin of her knuckles.

“I don’t care if you weren’t the one that took them. But you kept them and I’m going to fucking destroy you for it,” she growled, approaching him as my brain tried to catch up. 

“Y/N what are-”

“I saw Sam! And he was scared and said they’d kill him if he got caught talking to me. They’re safe now but Sam and Max were forced to live here. By him.” Her head turned towards Sebastian, his own head glancing at his security team. “What the fuck did you do to our brothers?”

It clicked for me what she’d been saying, what the text meant, why Y/N had acted so out of character. So full of hatred. But I barely had a chance to feel that same hatred. 

Because in the blink of an eye, one of Sebastian’s guards grabbed at Y/N and her fist shot out, connecting with the man’s jaw. He seemed alarmed at her strength and fell back, another guard trying to get their hands on her.

“Get off!” she shouted, kneeing another guy before flipping him on his back. But there were too many of them and I rushed forward, yanking her behind me just as Sebastian got in my face.

He eyed me up and down, smirking at me. “Oh you two just made a big mistake.”

He clasped his hands together loudly as his guards surrounded us, turning his attention to the rest of the party.

“Let’s give the love birds some privacy to sort out their issues,” he chuckled. “And maybe keep an eye on the open bar, hm?”

He spun back around and leaned in close, the stench of cigars and alcohol on his breath. 

“Get your brothers back here or I’ll fuck her up so badly there won’t be anything left to bury.” He gripped my shoulder, too forcefully. “And then I’ll bury you alive in the woods all the while the world will think you got in a drunken accident on the way home. After all you had a very loud and public argument tonight. With the friends I have in certain positions of authority…I can make even you two disappear like nothing.”

Y/N gripped the back of my suit jacket tight, a slight tremble in her hand as she listened to him speak.

“Get those boys back and get those guards back in the next ten minutes or I start cutting off pieces of the damn princess of pop.”

________

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

[rose-of-the-grave]

Regrets

Pairing: Lily x James

Modern AU

Here's part 4 of The Pact. Things are about to get interesting! I'm the author (please don't repost) <3

Masterlist Series Masterlist. Part 3 Read on Ao3

Warnings: truth or dare, 7 minutes in heaven, kissing, angst, alcohol, rejection(but not really)

Word Count: 2,970

Description: Now that they've been snowed in the group resorts to playing games to occupy their time. This leads to some more development between Lily and James.

Taglist: @sylveryfire

I’m bored.” James said, dropping down onto the couch.

“So am I.” Sirius seconded from his perch on the chair’s armrest.

“What should we do?” James asked.

“How about a game?” Sirius asked, excitedly.

“Hey! What about truth or dare?” Marlene suggested.

“Sure, who wants to start?” Remus asked from where he sat on the chair next to his boyfriend.

“I can!” James leaped at the chance to start.

“Wait, before we start, why don’t we make this a little more interesting?” Marlene asked.

“What did you have in mind?” Lily asked, a faint suspicion of where she was going with this.

“Alcohol!” She got up and walked over to the minifridge and pulled out some drinks. Walking back over to the group she placed them in the center of the table.

“Ok, James. Go ahead!”

“Sirius, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Sirius answered. When it came to him there was no other answer.

After some thinking James dared Sirius to, “Do a handstand.”

Standing up, he moved away from the furniture before doing a handstand. He managed to stay up for a while before James went over and started tickling his feet, causing him to fall. He jokingly admonished him but James just laughed. 

Returning back to his place next to Remus who was sipping a cup of tea unlike the rest of them, well everyone except for Alice, who were all holding some alcoholic beverage. It wasn’t that Remus didn’t drink, he simply preferred to not do it this late. Plus, being the only sober one was funnier. Sirius turned to look at everybody. Over the last few minutes they had all gathered together at the promise of a game. It took him all of five seconds to choose his victim.

“Marlene! Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

It didn’t take him much thinking before Sirius remembered something that she and Dorcas had been talking about earlier. “I dare you to call that coworker that you said was cute and ask him out.”

“Really?” Marlene asked, sipping on what he thought was beer. God, he hoped it wasn’t the absolute atrocity of a drink, wine in a can. Everyone knew that wine belonged in bottles. Anything to the contrary was just plain weird.

“Yup!”

She took a large sip from her drink for courage, not that she needed any. Picking up the phone she dialed his number and it rang and rang and rang. Grinning triumphantly now that she wouldn’t have to do it she said, “It went to voicemail.”

“So leave him a message.” Lily said, from where she sat on the couch eating chips. She had been given a front row seat to her best friend pining over this coworker that she had met a month ago for weeks.

“Fine.” Marlene got up, holding her phone to her ear.

“No. We need to see you do it!” Sirius called out after her.

“I can’t do it with you all staring at me.” She shot back. Then, audible only to her the phone beeped signaling that she should start talking. All they could overhear were the muffled sounds of her leaving a message. When she was done she came back to the group.

“Done. Ok, Dorcas. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Fuck, marry, kill. Sirius, Lily, and me. And there is a correct answer.” Marlene said, a devious glint in her eyes.

“Ok, wow. Way to put me on the spot. I guess marry Lily, fuck you, and, I’m really sorry about this, kill Sirius.”

“I’m offended.” Sirius deadpanned.

Dorcas still looked a bit nervous but she was growing more comfortable with the group’s dynamic. It wasn’t easy to join this group of friends, only kind of knowing one of them. But they were welcoming, all of them trying not to exclude her. It was hard, they had all known each other for a while now. Some of them had friendships that went back to grade school. Others were slightly more recent.

“Ok, Lily. Truth or dare?” Dorcas asked.

Taking what was generally considered the coward’s way out she said, “Truth.” She didn’t consider herself a chicken but she knew her friend well. Marlene would do her best to get her back for making sure she went through with her earlier dare.

“You’re no fun.” Marlene complained.

Sighing and rolling her eyes she changed her answer. “Fine, dare.”

“I don’t know what to ask.” Dorcas whispered to Marlene who told her something quietly that none of them could hear.

“Play seven minutes in heaven with James.”

“Now, it’s getting interesting!” Someone said.

“Seriously?” Lily asked Marlene, knowing that she was the brain behind the dare.

“Yup!”

James and Lily shared a look. A silent conversation between just the two of them.

He raised an eyebrow. Are you sure you want to do this?

She shrugged. We might as well.

“Where should we do this?” Lily asked. Both she and James put down their drinks and Lily placed the bag of chips back on the table. She wiped a bit of the chip grease off on her leggings.

“The pantry is probably the best option.” Remus suggested. “It’s really big so there should be enough room in there.”

“Okay.”

They walked over to the pantry and flipped the light switch on. The room lit up instantly. One of their friends had followed them and closed the door behind them, the soft click of the lock snapping into place.

“So…” James said.

“I guess…” Lily started at the same time.

They both stopped.

“You can go first,”Lily offered.

“No, you go.” James insisted.

“So I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s never a good idea.” Lily teased.

He ignored her remark and repeated himself. “So, this whole fake dating thing has gotten me thinking about when we first met. Correct me if I’m wrong but it seemed like you liked me back then. As more than me being friends with Remus so you had to get along with me. I guess lately I’ve been wondering what changed? I know you were dating Sniv-- Severus for a while but afterwards you still acted like I killed your dog or something.”

Lily grimaced,“Well, for starters he told me about what you were like back in school. When I was dating him it was partially just loyalty to him and my relationship with him. That, and I didn’t particularly like the fact that you used to be a bully. None of my interactions with you made me dislike you. Except that one time when you said that I deserved better than him.”

“So what you’re saying is that younger me screwed me over?” James said in disbelief.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“But what about after you broke up with him? You still hated me afterwards.”

“I guess it became a habit. I’d gotten so used to hating you that I didn’t really see past the fact that you had changed. I knew that. Before I met Severus I thought I knew who you were and then he came and changed that image. Even after everything, it was difficult changing that.”

“If you want I could just stay away from you. All you have to do is ask.”

James’ words warmed Lily’s heart. “I know. It’s just I feel like the more time I spend with you, the more I see who you really are and it makes it hard for me to understand how I wasn’t able to see that before.”

“So what are you saying?” James asked.

“I guess I’m saying that maybe I can give you a chance.”

“That’s more than enough for me. Thank you.”

“No, don’t thank me. I should have seen through the way he portrayed you. Remus and Sirius would tell me what a good guy you are, that you had changed but it was so hard to believe them even though I trusted their judgment.”

“I really, really like you Lily. If there’s a chance that you can at least come to see me as a friend I will wait as long as it takes.”

She opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by the sound of their friends unlocking and opening the door. The looks of disappointment on their friends’ faces was bordering on comical. They may not actually be dating but it might have been a good idea for them to at least look like they were making out. But at least, thought James, we finally got to talk. Nothing else mattered.

They all continued their game of truth or dare with much drinking and snacking in between sharing secrets, funny dances, and kissing. Alice got dared by Marlene to recite the alphabet backwards which was a challenge sober but she had recently decided to crack open a bottle of wine so she was now bordering on tipsy. Everyone was cracking up at the impressions James was doing of various actors. To finish the night off Remus was dared to do his best animal impression. They were all amazed at how accurate his wolf howl was.

“Yet another of his many hidden talents.” Sirius bragged which caused Remus to blush a little. Lily was glad that her friend had such a wonderful boyfriend. She hadn’t known him before Sirius and Remus were together but from James’ stories that he had told her when they first met the two of them had both been pining obliviously after each other for years before they finally started dating. They were, in Lily’s opinion, soulmates. She was happy for them but also a little jealous. She had hoped that she would have found someone just as perfect for her as they were for each other.

It was to no one’s surprise when Dorcas retired early. Alice wandered off to call her husband so she could say goodnight to her son. Remus and Siirius headed off to watch a movie and to nobody’s surprise, Remus snagged the rest of the chocolate as they both headed upstairs. James wandered off leaving Lily and Marlene together. Lily wished she could tell her friend the truth, she hated lying to her. She could have just said that she didn’t want to date anyone and Marlene would have respected that.

“I feel like we haven't had a real talk in ages.” Marlene said.

“Me too.” Lily agreed.

“So fill me in, how is it going with you and James?” Marlene asked.

“It’s going better, it was a little rough at first.” Lily responded. It was true after all. Things had hopefully improved after their talk earlier in the pantry. At least she didn’t have to lie about that.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it was kind of hard at first. I had hated him so much that it was difficult to fully change how I saw him.”

“But you did or else you wouldn’t be dating right now.” Marlene pointed out.

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you guys. You look so cute together!”

Guilt washed over her. How was it going to look when they broke up? She took a gulp from her cup before thanking her friend.

“Anyway, how are you?” Lily asked. “You don’t really talk about work unless it’s about that guy you like.”

“I guess that’s true. I actually got a promotion about a week ago.” Marlene said.

“Congratulations!”

“Yeah, it’s nice. I got a raise and a better office. There’s only one problem. I’m now answering directly to my boss. She’s nice enough but she’s also a perfectionist. If something isn’t done how she wants it she’ll make it known.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“We’ve become closer though lately. I think she trusts me. She’s given me a lot of big assignments lately so hopefully that means that she’s not five seconds away from firing me.”

“That’s good. I’m glad that there’s nothing too bad going on. But you know that if she does end up firing you you can always come live with me right. I’ve got some extra space.”

“Thanks Lils, that means a lot.”

“You’re my best friend. I’d do just about anything for you.”

“Even hide a body?” Marlene asked jokingly.

“Even hide a body. I can’t afford for you to go to prison, who would I depend on for relationship drama?”

“You’ve got some of your own now.”

“True.” Lily admitted.

“I’m sorry about Petunia. I know you wanted to spend time with your family.”

“Yeah. It’s easier now, I miss my parents a lot but I’m glad they aren’t around to see how distant me and Petunia are now. I sent Dudley a gift and a card so hopefully he won’t forget I exist.” She laughed bitterly. Her tense relationship with her sister was one of her biggest regrets. They used to be best friends growing up but now Lily’s lucky to see her sister and nephew two or three times a year. Part of it she realizes is because her brother-in-law doesn’t really like her. The feeling is mutual. But he loves her sister and spoils their son rotten so she can’t hate him for that.

Her friend smiled sadly. The holidays weren’t really a good time familywise for either of them. That was one of the reasons they became friends, they had stayed in the dorms over winter break. Marlene’s family was always traveling for work and ignored her unless she got in trouble. She would shrug it off and pretend it didn’t bother her but it did.

Leaning over, Lily gave her friend a quick hug before saying, “I think I’m going to head to bed.”

“Okay, good night!”

“Good night!”

Grabbing her wine glass she poured some more in before heading upstairs. Maybe it wasn't the best idea considering she was already feeling a little dizzy but she was on vacation. She was allowed to let loose once in a while. Her mind a little fuzzy, she walked into her bedroom where she was treated to a shirtless James laying on the bed reading. He always wore glasses but for some reason they looked hotter than normal on him.

“Heyyyyy!” She said, almost tripping over the place where the carpet started at the doorway.

“Hey Lily.”

He was a bit shocked that she was still holding a glass of wine without spilling any. It was a near thing though a couple of times as she walked over to her side of the bed. Pulling off her sweater, she was left in a tank top and leggings. She became instantly cold and got in bed, snuggling under the blankets. She was still cold.

Scooting over to the other side she pressed against James’ side, her face near his chest. Under normal circumstances she might have protested his shirtlessness but in her slightly tipsy state she was willing to ignore it. Or at least not focus on it. On his warm skin, his well defined chest that showed he was still working out in the mornings. He had offered for her to join once or twice but she had been too busy with work and then…no. She wasn’t going to let him ruin this moment. Her shithead of an ex didn’t deserve one thought from her.

Peaking over his arm she looked at what he was reading.

“A sports book? Really?”

“Hey, you can’t judge. You’re the one that reads dictionaries for fun!”

She sat up to look at him. “That was one time! Who told you that?”

“Remus might have mentioned it when you first applied for the job at the bookstore. He said you carried that fact around like a badge of honor!”

“Of course I did! It’s impressive.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t.” He said, amusement coloring his voice.

Their gazes locked and she couldn’t help her eyes flickering down to his lips for a moment. Maybe it was their kiss the other day in the snow or maybe it was the wine but she wanted his lips on hers now that they couldn’t be interrupted by flying snowballs and meddling friends.

Placing one hand on his warm, firm chest she leaned in closer. She pulled his glasses off of him carefully and set them on the table beside the bed. Her lips brushed his and he didn’t pull back. One of his hands moved to her hip and the other closed his book. She kissed him slowly, exploring. Her tongue darted out to lick his lower lip causing him to make a sound deep in his chest that could only be classified as a growl.

Kissing her back, he let his book fall away so his other hand could delve into her hair. They kissed for a while, Lily’s hands exploring the smooth contours of his chest. One of her hands slowly drifted down to the waistband of his pajama pants. Her fingertips drifted under it, making their way further down when his hand wrapped firmly around her wrist.

“Lily.” He groaned. “We shouldn’t do this.”

Startled at his words she pulled away. Not letting him get a chance to explain, she got up, grabbed her sweater and a blanket, and walked out of the door. She walked downstairs and laid down on the couch. Curling up underneath her covers in her little nest she fell asleep after a while.

Laying on the bed, James watched her go. In retrospect he probably should have phrased that differently. He hadn’t expected her to just walk out before he could explain that what he meant was that they shouldn’t do this while they’d both been drinking. He hoped that she would listen to him in the morning. And if she still wanted to kiss him he would have absolutely no problem with that. With that thought echoing in his head, he turned the light off, pulled up the blankets, and fell asleep.

Part 5>>

[eva-knits12]

Laundry and Cleaning Day With Steve Rogers

Trigger warning: Steve Rogers, pregnancy, fibromyalgia, fluff

Summary: Steve takes over laundry and cleaning day when he sees you carrying the heavy laundry basket.

"Doll, I'll do the laundry. You shouldn't be carrying that heavy basket," says Steve.

James was playing with his Hot Wheels and his Matchbox cars. Sarah was being active. Steve takes the laundry basket to the laundry room. You get on the recliner, and put your feet up, and pull out the cute summer hat your working on for Sarah. You've already made James a cute blue and white bucket hat. You also put some red stars on the band.

Being eight and a half months pregnant was no picnic. Your back aches, your boobs hurt, you were constantly tired, your feet hurt, your ankles were swollen. Plus, trying to keep up with James also wore you out. James was an energetic three-year-old-boy. Coulson was keeping up with James. Steve and James had just walked Coulson.

Steve was going to take everyone out for ice cream later that day. Which was exciting for James because the local ice cream shop also had hot dogs and subs that could easily be made. James loved their hot dogs, and he loved their strawberry ice cream.

"Mommy! I need to go potty!" screams James just as your falling asleep.

Steve was busy putting the first load in the washer, so you get up. You take James to the bathroom, lift up the toilet seat, and he pulls his pants down. Then, he grabs himself and pees in the potty.

After a few minutes, James is done peeing, and Sarah is not only kicking you, she's now doing handstands on your bladder. James washes his hands, rinses them and dries them. James puts down the toilet seat, and you pull your pants down, and pee.

You wash your hands, and walk-more like waddle-back to the recliner. You have six weeks to go before Sarah's due. You really want this baby out of you right now.

"Steve, why did I jump your bones that night you came back after that mission?" you say. Tiredness is in your voice. Just helping James go potty was enough action for you today.

"Doll, it's because of the beard I grew when I came back from that mission in Wakanda. You always know I when I have one, because you say that I always look sexier with it," says Steve.

Steve is sitting on the floor, rubbing your feet. You're falling asleep again, and Steve stops. He covers you with a blanket, and lovingly kisses your forehead. The washer is playing it's soft music in the background, and Steve picks up James, and carried him outside.

"Mmm. You do look way sexier with a beard Steve, not gonna lie," you say. It's not even nine o' clock yet, and you're already dead tired.

"Shh, James. How about we go out for pancakes while Mama naps?" says Steve.

"YAY! Pancakes!" says and excited James.

Steve grabs his keys. and loads James in his car seat. All you had was a bagel with butter because you were burping more often than not in the morning. So, a piece of buttered toast or a bagel with butter, and some peppermint tea often calmed your stomach down.

You were deep in sleep. You barely stirred. Steve and James were having a father-son breakfast date. Steve ordered some coffee, and some pancakes and bacon. James had the Mickey Mouse pancake with some sausage. Steve made sure to cut up the sausage links into bite sized pieces. James was busy coloring on the paper placement while Steve was busy reading his book.

"Daddy! I drew a picture of Mommy. That's Mommy, that's you, that's me, and that big circle on Mommy is the baby in Mommy's tummy," says James.

"Well, I think she'll love this," says Steve.

James has a huge grin on his face. There's a sparkle in his big, hazel eyes. James knows that you're going to love his present. -

Steve and James eat their breakfast. You're still sleeping. Eventually, you need to get up and take care of the laundry. While you're putting the first load into the dryer, and getting ready to put the second load in, Steve and James enter.

"Why don't you go pick out a book, and we'll read to Mama?" says Steve.

"Okay," says James.

"Here, Doll. I'll get the laundry. You need to be off your feet as much as possible," says Steve.

Steve finishes putting the second load in the washer. He then puts in the detergent and starts the washer. He then starts the dryer.

You burp again. Steve goes to fix you another cup of peppermint tea to help calm down your stomach. It seems that you just can't stop burping. You didn't burp a lot with James. You were even sicker with hyperemesis gravidarum with Sarah. You weren't as sick with James, but Sarah was a different story. You just knew it was a girl, based on how sick you were.

"I have a present for you, Mama!" says James.

James gives you his drawing, and you tear up.

"James, I love it!" you say.

James goes to his bedroom, and comes back with Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. He climbs in the recliner and snuggles next to you. Steve reads, and you're both out before the book is even halfway done. Steve covers you both with a blanket, then kisses you lovingly on your forehead, and he kisses James on his forehead. James can sleep through anything. Nothing can stir him or wake him.

Steve goes and gets the first load out of the dryer. He puts the second load in, and then he goes and folds the first load. Steve puts the next load in the washer, and then checks on you and James. You're both out, and you'll both be out for a while.

Steve then puts the first load away, and puts the basket back in the laundry room. He then goes to the cleaning and supply closet and gathers everything he needs to clean the bathrooms. He goes to check on you and James again, and you're still out. James wakes up, and follows Steve.

"Daddy! I need to go potty. I need to go bad!" says James.

Steve helps James with the potty. Steve pulls up the toilet seat, and pulls James's pants down. James was doing the pee pee dance, indicating that he was bursting. If he didn't get to the potty in time, James was going to pee his pants. James peed for what seemed to be a long time. Eventually, James was empty. James wiped himself, flushed the toilet, and Steve helped him wash his hands.

James goes to his bedroom, where he has a little art area set up. He grabs his crayons and his coloring book, and starts to color. Steve cleans the bathroom. James is busy coloring while Steve is cleaning, and you're out on the recliner.

Steve is finally done cleaning the bathroom. The floor has just been Swiffered, and Steve pokes his head in James's room. James is coloring, so Steve lightly knocks on the door.

"It's lunchtime, James. What do you want for lunch?" asks Steve.

"I want a gilled cheesey, with motato soup, and milk," says James.

"Okay, let's see if Mama wants lunch," says Steve.

Steve is carrying James. He stops in the living room at the recliner, and wakes you.

"Do you want grilled cheese, doll?" asks Steve.

"That sounds good, Steve. Can you make some tomato soup, and some fries, and do we have any chocolate chocolate chip ice cream?" you ask.

It seems that your pregnancy cravings were getting the best of you. You couldn't wait for tonight. You were going to get the bacon wrapped hot dog with extra bacon, chili cheese fries with extra chili and extra cheese, and a double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream cone. You didn't care if anyone looked at you strange. You were eight and a half months pregnant. You were tired, and when you weren't tired, you were hungry. When you weren't hungry, you had to pee. You wanted all the things because you were craving all the things. Plus, James was also a growing boy. Keeping up with him was no easy feat when you're eight and a half months pregnant and add fibromyalgia on top of that.

"Woah, slow down, doll," says Steve.

"Steve, I'm eating for two," you say.

"I have our daughter to feed," you say.

"Okay. I'll make it," says Steve.

Steve gets out the griddle, the bread, the cheese and the butter. Steve butters each slice of bread, and then Steve goes ahead and starts to prepare the tomato soup. Steve gets out a plastic cup, and pours milk into it for James. Steve gets you a bottle of water. Steve also gets himself some water. Steve pulls out the air fryer and then heats it, and puts the fries in it.

"Mama, can I have some fries?" asks James.

"Sure, James. You can have a few fries," says Steve.

You and Steve tried to limit junk food for James. You wanted James to have nutritious meals and nutritious snacks. But, you couldn't pass up the occasional chocolate chip cookie, chips, or even the occasional hot dog or cheeseburger.

The sandwiches, fries, and soup is ready. Steve dishes everything out. Steve eats his grilled cheese and soup. James finishes his few fries, his sandwich, and his soup. You're still finishing your soup. Steve cuts up an apple, and gives it to James. You're eating your chocolate chocolate chip ice cream, while Steve also eats his apple slices.

The third load is done, and Steve removes it from the washer, and places it in the dryer. He places the last load in the washer. James decides to play a game on the tablet, and it's a learning game that teaches James phonics and reading. He picks out an easy phonics one called Phonics Train. The object is to put together words based on sounds and to read the word that is formed. It's one you and James often do together.

When James completes his level, he closes the game when he sees that you've gone to sleep again. James covers you with the blanket, kisses you on the forehead, "just like Daddy does," and even gets you his favorite teddy bear that looks "like Daddy's hero oonifom".

Steve goes into check on you, and James is busy playing with his Hot Wheels.

You have to pee for what seems to be the two thousandth time that day. Steve helps you up, gets you to the bathroom. You pull your pants down, and pee. You wash your hands, after wiping yourself and pulling your pants back up as best as you can.

Steve helps you back to the living room, and places you on the recliner. You also have fibromyalgia, so being pregnant with it really wore you out. Today was just one of those day.

Steve gets the final load and folds it. James wakes you, because it's his snack time. So, you go and fix James some whole wheat toast with peanut butter and banana slices. You give him a glass of water, and he finishes his snack. James immediately goes back to playing with his Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars.

Steve is in the bathroom, relieving himself. He finishes and washes his hands. James has now fallen asleep on the floor, and you're reading in the recliner. Eventually, you fall asleep. Steve covers you with the blanket, kisses your forehead again, and just lies next to you and watches you sleep.

Eventually, James wakes up because he's starting to get hungry. You wake up. You take James to the bathroom so he can pee. You're trying to get James into the habit of peeing when he first wakes up, no matter what time of day, and into the habit of peeing before bed.

"James, how about we go out for hot dogs and ice cream? Let's give Mama a break," says Steve.

"YAY! Strawberry ice cream and hot doggies," says James.

You wake up, and Steve kisses you lovingly.

"How about hot dogs and ice cream for dinner?" says Steve.

"You read my mind," you say.

You found that nice, little retro sort of drive in. It's been your and Steve's place.

You found it when you were craving a chili dog really bad. Coulson was loaded into the car, and you and Steve were walking Coulson along the beach, which he loved. You and Steve also played with Coulson.

Coulson hears this and perks up. He had been by your side the entire time, refusing to leave you. He knew that the new Rogers would need protection, and Coulson was protective of James, he was now protective of Sarah.

"Coulson, ball!" says James, who is playing with Coulson in the yard with Steve.

James and Coulson were burning off some energy before dinner. Steve was also playing fetch with Coulson, and Coulson bringing the ball back to James or back to Steve. You've never seen the human be more worn out than the dog. But, Coulson had more energy than James. Coulson was just full of puppy energy, even though it had been four years since you and Steve adopted him.

You've gathered your purse. You've peed. James and Steve go back in, and pee before you all leave. Steve loads James into his car seat, Coulson jumps right in, and sits right next to James. Steve has already strapped James in. Steve helps you into the car, and helps you with your seatbelt. It's no easy feat to fasten a seatbelt when you're eight and a half months pregnant. Steve gets into the drivers side, puts on his seatbelt, then Steve puts the Jeep in gear. You kiss Steve on his cheek, and James starts to hum softly. The satellite radio is playing some songs from the kid station. You and Steve would always play the kid station when James was in the car.

You arrive at the drive-in. The car hop asks what you want. Steve and James get a hot dog. James has ketchup on his, no mustard because "mustard is too tangy!" according to James. Steve has mustard and relish on his. You all get fries. You get the bacon wrapped hot dog with extra bacon and the chili cheese fries with extra chili and extra cheese. James has some lemonade, Steve has a Coke. You have strawberry lemonade.

"So, who wants ice cream?" asks Steve,

"Me!" says James.

"Me!" I say.

"Okay, three ice creams", says Steve.

James gets strawberry ice cream. Steve gets plain vanilla, and you get the double chocolate fudge brownie.

You all have your dessert. Coulson is sitting next to James, and he can't wait. You all head back home.

Steve helps James get his pj's on, pee, and brush his tiny teeth. Steve goes, pees, washes his hands, and brushes his teeth. You've already done that. You're waiting for Steve, while posing as sexy as possible on the bed. Right now, you're horny, and you need your husband to help with your need right now. Steve looks at you, and kisses you passionately and lovingly. Eventually, you and Steve start to make love.

You're either tired, hungry, or horny as hell. Luckily, Steve is always there to help you with your needs. He's even there for the late night cravings. Steve places his hands on your now very large bump, feeling his daughter move. A boyish smile lights up his face. It's the same smile when he found out you were pregnant with both James and Sarah. Now, the same boyish is there when he felt James move, and it's there when he feels Sarah move.

Six weeks after this, you home birth Sarah.

Steve has never looked sexier with a beard, and he somehow looked more sexier while doing housework, and he even looks sexier while doing dad duty. How can a man look even sexier while bearded, taking care of the house, and also taking care of you and James?

After, you fall asleep on Steve's naked chest. You'll sleep for a while before you have to get up again, because Sarah has started to do handstands on your bladder.

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Sunday,  2   April,   2023.......... Warmup.........Deadlifts.......... “Diane”.....A Walk In The Park Plus Push-Ups.

Sunday at 0730  &  1 PM.  Only Lew and I were here.  Good thing he was here or I woulda gone back to bed.

Warmup

Tabata’s

4  Rounds

Cat-Cows

Bird-Dogs

Flutter Kicks

Hollow Rock Holds

Strength

Deadlifts:        10 / 10 / 10 / 10

50  to  60%  1 Rep Max

ED=245     Rodney=195     Robert/Coach/Paul/Dyer/Herb=185     Dana=135     Joe=125     Alicia=did something     SC/Sue/Manny=did something

Metabolic Conditioner

“DIANE”          21     X     15     X     9

Deadlifts         ( 225 / 155 )

Handstand  Push-Ups

As a Coaching Incentive for all you ELITE 1 PERCENTERS,

the time to shoot for is 1:35,  done with Judges by Dan

 Bailey.  A girl (Kristin Clever) did it in 1:54 at the Games.

Multiple scaling examples were demonstrated, some were briefly attempted during the WOD, but only Herb and Ed came close.  I thought we had several other ELITE 1% Athletes here, but perhaps this was their Active Recovery day.

Ed=7:47     Herb=13:37

Joe=5:20     Dana=7:30     Dyer=8:08     Rodney=8:44     Coach=8:45     Robert=10:02      Manny/SC/Sue/Alicia=did something     

Extra Credit

Run / Jog / Walk  Arboretum  Loop.

25 M / 15 F  Inclined Push-Ups On Every Grey Bench You see.  (6)

A handful of our girls did this.  I do this, PLUS Air Squats, a 

couple of times a week just for grins. 

   Notes:

A Beautiful afternoon at the Barn.   I heard more complaints about the programing then there were people here.  It wasn’t about the weather.

“DIANE”  is a CrossFit Benchmark Girl WOD.  Nothing could be more CROSSFIT.

Between neighborhood CrossFit pop-up gyms and F=45, LHCF is almost out of business.  As long as Alicia keeps the great snacks coming and somebody brings wine, at least we will keep doing something on Thursdays.  

Tuesday at 4 PM.

[rollinpinwheel]

Pinwheel let out a choppy chuckle at Fizzarolli's sass, not bothered much about what he had to say to him.

❃ "I PU-PU-PULLED SOME CHORDS, YOU COULD SAY. I HAVE MY OWN WAYS TO GET WHAT I-I-I-I WANT."

He may be Vox's plus-one, but it didn't mean that he had any attachment to the guy so far. Having connections to an overlord was very useful however.

They were alone on the balcony, but the machine was very aware that while it might seem isolated, anybody could walk out on them any moment. He had to play nice today... to a certain degree, at least.

He could do that. All he ever did was acting all day already.

❃ "OO-WOOOO-OH WOW YES, LET ME JOIN EVERYONE IN STRRRROKING YOUR DICK TONIGHT. BUT IF YOU DO, WHY ARE YOU HIDING OUT HERE-HERE THEN? SPOTLIGHT TOO BRIGHT?"

The forever restless robot grabs a hold of the bannister of the balcony, before throwing his body upwards, holding himself up in a handstand on top of it. While there, he swings his legs to and fro through the air, as some kind of way to let out the energy that was endlessly buzzing through him.

And who shall you be once you don your grand disguise? // @rollinpinwheel

The balcony was a reprieve from the echoing voices in the hall. For a blissful fifteen minutes he could relax his face, roll his shoulders, and turn off the jester. He sent a message to Blitzø telling him where he was before taking out a cigarette more wanting the motion of smoking than the actual burn of nicotine.

He loved his job. He really genuinely did but hours in the clown shoes left him feeling tilted and it wasn't the stilts. He had heard more comparisons that night to robots of himself than his genuine work in Greed or Lust. Made sense considering Pride's isolation but—

Speak of the bitch.

" They let you off Circus grounds ? Or did you chew through the gates. " He flicked ash off the edge before turning to rest his back and elbows on the bannister. With the motion came the mask hiding his grimace at seeing his mock-up. " And take a look for yourself— I think I wear fame pretty well. "

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

All Men Have Limits - VII

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,500+

Warning: Mention of domestic violence

Previously on…

“The Court is holding session two weeks from now,” Y/N announced to the group.

“How do we know they’re going through with it after all the recent attention?” Damian challenged.

“They haven’t missed one in over over 20 years.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Dick asked.

Y/N took in a deep breath, “We need a diversion.”

“Diversion?” Jason asked.

She nodded. “The Court has two kinds of protection: the Talons and then the protection they either buy or blackmail. The Talons are at every meeting, making sure nothing goes down and protecting The Court.”

Y/N eyed all of them before continuing – except for Bruce. The two of them hadn’t spoken since their argument, and Y/N hadn’t so much as acknowledged him.

“We need to do something to drag the Talons away from The Court – something big,” Y/N clarified.

“Like what?” Tim asked.

She didn’t say anything. Instead she just awkwardly shifted her weight.

“No,” Dick shut down, being the first to put it together.

“It’s the only way,” she countered.

By now the rest of them had figured out that Y/N wished to put herself in danger once again.

“They almost killed you,” Dick started to get heated.

“Yeah, and they’re even more anxious to kill me after the trouble we caused them. We all know it. The quickest way to get the Talons out of hiding is to dangle me in right front of their faces. Make it so easy that they can’t say no.”

They all went quiet.

“It’s a good idea,” Jason broke the silence.

Jason wasn’t one to beat around the bush. He was brutally honest. Also, he wasn’t scared of a risk. 

Dick glared at him.

But to his surprise, so did Bruce.

“We don’t use our own as bait,” Bruce finally spoke for the first time.

But he wasn’t even looking in Y/N’s vicinity.

That didn’t stop Y/N from rolling her eyes at ‘our own,’ as if she were actually treated the same as everyone in this family.

“Fine,” she snapped. “So what’s your genius plan for getting the Talons away from The Court and where we want them?”

Bruce was quiet, but clearly because he was thinking.

“B, we only have two weeks to get this together,” Dick tried to reason.

Y/N just continued, “While we’re distracting the Talons, the FBI and Gotham PD can raid The Court’s meeting. Security will be at an all-time low and they won’t be able to fight their way out with the distraction of a Talon defense.”

“We can think of another way,” Bruce said. Then he addressed all boys, “We’re heading out for patrol in 15.”

Dick stood up to join them.

To everyone’s shock Y/N and Bruce simultaneously said, “You’re staying here.”

Dick’s brow furrowed. “I’m fine.”

“You’re still injured,” Y/N argued. “You’re stitches aren’t even out yet.”

“You’re staying here with Y/N,” Bruce added on.

Tim, Damian, and Jason all looked at each other in amusement from seeing Bruce and Y/N gain up on Dick.

Bruce muttered out radiuses at the other three boys for patrolling.

“Just to be clear, I’m going back to being a lone wolf when this Court of Owls bullshit is over with,” Jason announced. “But I have to admit, the drama is entertaining.”

“Aww! Come on, J! You know you love the quality family time,” Tim teased.

“I personally can’t wait for him to go away,” Damian mumbled.

“Do you know what a swirly is?” Jason asked the youngest boy.

“No.”

“Do you want to find out?”

Damian looked at Tim for some kind of hint. But Tim just aggressively shook his head in warning.

“Enough,” Bruce warned, but he wasn’t all that annoyed.

When they all left for patrol, Y/N walked to her computers.

“What are you doing?” Dick questioned.

She gave him a look, “Uhhh…doing my job?”

“You did your job,” he countered. “Give yourself a break.”

Y/N knew he was technically right. She already had everything they needed to show the FBI and Gotham PD in order to take down The Court of Owls. Now they just had to wait – even if Bruce wasn’t on board with Y/N’s plan on playing bait.

“Plus,” Dick smirked. “I need someone to entertain me.”

She playfully glared at him. “Oh, I see. So this isn’t about me needing a break. It’s about you needing attention.”

He had no shame. “Maybe.”

Y/N shook her head at his ridiculous, but couldn’t hide her smirk.

“How about I teach you some self defense?” Dick offered.

“Dick! What part of ‘you’re recovering’ is so hard for you to understand?”

He had the audacity to laugh at her reaction. “Fine. Fine. But you should learn a few things at some point.”

Then Dick started walking to the training area, specifically where all the gymnastics equipment was.

Y/N hadn’t seen anyone using it while she was down there, but she assumed it was mostly for Dick.

Without warning, Dick did a press handstand mount on the balance beam, and then he held the handstand.

“Dick! Stop!” Y/N said in a panic.

And she did exactly what he wanted, leaving her computer and walking down to where he was on the balance beam.

“What?” He shrugged as he now stood on the balance beam. “It’s just a handstand. Relax.”

“I swear to god, Dick Grayson, if you do a fucking flip on that thing…”

“You’ll what?” He challenged with a smirk. “Come up here and stop me.”

Y/N crossed her arms and glared at him. “Fine. I will.”

Dick was beaming from his success.

Y/N might not be a gymnast or a vigilante the same way as all of them, but she wasn’t completely hopeless when it came to athletics. She managed to lift herself up enough to sit on the balance beam.

However, standing up was an entirely different thing.

“Fuck,” Y/N muttered under her breath.

“You got it,” Dick encouraged.

But he was still walking across towards her as if the thing was a runway.

“Have these things always been this fucking narrow? I thought it was like width of bleacher seats.”

Dick chuckled as he offered her a hand.

“I got you. Come on,” he urged her softly.

Y/N slowly stood on the balance beam, but gripped Dick’s hands tightly.

“I have some newfound respect,” she laughed lightly as she looked down at their feet.

“Harder than it looks,” Dick agreed.

“Do you think you could’ve gone to the Olympics?” Y/N genuinely asked.

He shrugged, “Who knows. Probably not.”

But Y/N knew he was most likely being modest.  

Then Dick let go of her hands to grip her waist, “Try walking.”

“I feel like we’re in Dirty Dancing. You know, like the scene where they’re working on lifts and walking across the log in the woods.”

He smiled.

Y/N lost her balance a little bit and panicked.

But Dick’s grip on her waist was strong. “You’re OK. I got you.”

It was hard to focus on balancing and walking when his gentle voice said things like that to her, making her stomach drop and her heartbeat quicken.

And it all proved to be too much when Y/N really lost her balance and there was no stopping her from falling. She shoved into Dick too hard, making him lose his grip as well.

But as they fell, Dick quickly maneuvered their bodies so he took the fall and caged her body protectively.

Y/N instantly sat up in hysterics.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Are you OK?” Y/N cried out as her eyes went down to where he still had stitches, half expecting blood to be on his t-shirt from the wound reopening.

But Dick was laughing his ass off.

“It’s not funny!” She slapped his chest.

“I’m not made of glass, Y/N.”

She couldn’t keep her own amusement in check much longer and started laughing along with him.

But then Dick’s phone lit up and vibrated beside them. It must’ve fallen out of his pocket when they fell.

Y/N didn’t mean to look. She really didn’t. But her eyes couldn’t stop from reading the name ‘Barbara Gordon’ on the screen.

Her smile dropped for some reason.

But Dick didn’t see the problem.

He casually reached over and looked at the message.

Y/N moved off of Dick. “Texting your ex?”

Dick narrowed his eyes at the framing of her question. “Do you know every woman I’ve ever dated?”

She smirked at that. “Maybe.”

“Yes, I am. She’s a friend.” He tilted his head. “Don’t you stay in touch with any of your exes?”

Y/N shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t really have any ex-boyfriends. Just…” she hesitated, “people I’ve hooked up with or whatever.”

Dick nodded slowly.

“Why hasn’t she been around?” Y/N changed the subject quickly.

“She’s been working her own case – had to go undercover for awhile.”

She nodded. But wasn’t looking at him as they talked now.

“You know…just because that’s what’s happened in the past doesn’t mean that it always has to be that way,” he told her quietly.

“Easy for you to say.”

Dick winced a bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her gaze finally moved up from the floor to his. “You’re a serial monogamist. Being in relationships is easy for you.”

“That’s what you think of me?” Dick couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice. “You think I don’t know how to be alone?”

“I didn’t say that,” she quickly defended.

“But that’s what you were implying.”

Y/N got up from the mats and started to leave.

“No. Don’t do that,” Dick caught her arm.

“Do what?” She challenged as she pulled her arm away from him.

“Don’t make up problems that don’t exist, Y/N.”

She huffed at that.

“Yeah, I’ve been in serious relationships for most of my life. Not because I didn’t know how to be alone, but because I loved them.” He shook his head. “I know men have treated you like shit, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same.”

“What are we even talking about, Dick?” She shot back.

How did they get from messing around on a balance beam to discussing their non-existent relationship?

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Act like it.”

It wasn’t until now that Dick saw how Bruce and Y/N were similar. He’d never met anyone else that could push people away like they did. But it was clear they both thought it was easier and less complicated to isolate themselves. 

Maybe that’s why they gravitated toward each other. Like if the faced it together than they were cheating their way out of their own rules.

Except Dick couldn’t help but wonder what Y/N’s life could look like with someone who really loved her, who showed her that she didn’t have to face the world alone. Obviously he wanted to be that person for her. But his ego wasn’t too proud to allow someone else to do that for her. Even if it hurt like hell.

“Dick, I can’t–”

But he didn’t let her say another word, and his lips crashed against hers.

She tried to be stubborn and pull away, but he wasn’t letting her get away.

Dick deepened the kiss. This wasn’t like the night of the gala. It wasn’t innocent and soft. No, this was filled with fire and infatuation.

Dick wasn’t being polite anymore. His hands slipped under her t-shirt to grasp her waist, needing to feel her and refusing to allow fabric between his touch and her skin.

Maybe he was trying to prove something to Y/N now.

But just when Y/N was about to push it further, Dick pulled away.

Their lips were both swollen.

And he kept close to her, tempting her with another kiss – but not giving in.

“You don’t want to talk about it? Fine.” His voice was raspy.

Eventually he’d push her to talk about them. For now, he’d let her figure things out.

“But don’t convince yourself that I’m no one to you.”

———————

Y/N couldn’t sleep.

Her mind was restless.

She knew Dick had been right: she was trying to point out issues that didn’t exist, picking unnecessary fights.

Getting Dick frustrated was a great way to stop herself from actually reflecting on how she was starting to feel about him.

Instead of tossing and turning in bed, Y/N decided to go to the library. She hadn’t spent much time there – too busy practically living in cave. But it had intrigued her since she arrived. It was so beautiful, and even large enough to hide in.

She was a hour or so into a book she grabbed from the shelves when someone cleared their throat.

Y/N jumped in fright and looked up to see Bruce leaning against one of the book shelves.

His hair was wet and he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Clearly he’d just taken a shower.

“You’re back early,” she noted.

It wasn’t even 4AM yet.

“Quiet night. The boys had patrolling handled.”

She just nodded and went back to her book.

But Bruce’s presence made it impossible for her to even focus enough on the words to keep reading. So, she faked it.

“I owe you an apology.”

Her stare snapped up.

“I should not have spoken to you the way I did.”

Y/N was silent.

“It was unfair, and I was mistaken. I apologize.”

Y/N watched him for a moment before saying, “Apology accepted.”

She expected him to leave after that. He’d checked his little box. Now they could both move on.

“I was scared,” Bruce confessed. “That I was going to find you dead. And then I was scared Dick would lose it and…” His words died out.

“Well… you hid that very easily.”

“I have to.”

“I know. But you don’t realize how frustrating that can be for other people.”

Bruce sighed and frowned. “I understand.”

Y/N finally put her book down and got up from the love seat to slowly walk to where Bruce was standing.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she apologized softly. “And I’m sorry for scaring you. I was only doing what I thought was right.”

Bruce didn’t even realize what he doing until he pulled Y/N into his arms and felt her bury her face into his chest and hug him back. He tightened his hold around her, breathing in her hair.

Y/N was surprised by his hug, but she was grateful for it.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in. It was either his body wash or his cologne, but Bruce always smelled like musk and wood. Y/N was rarely close enough to smell it this well. But when she did, it instantly soothed her.

“Why are you up so late?” Bruce asked when they finally pulled away.

Y/N let out a long sigh, “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Come on. I’ll make you some tea.”

“You do not know how to make tea,” she answered while trying not to laugh.

“I am not as hopeless in the kitchen as you’d imagine,” he told her with a smirk.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she replied, as she followed him downstairs.

True to his word, Bruce made Y/N lavender tea, making it just as Alfred had taught him as a child.

He gave her a smug smirk when he handed her one of the mugs and saw how surprised she was by him.

Y/N never expected he would linger. 

But an hour later, they were still sitting on the barstools at the island.

The conversation was slow, but light.

Now that Y/N had spent so much time with the family, she mostly talked about the boys with Bruce, asked him questions about each of them.

It was easier for him to talk about them than himself – or them. 

Little did Bruce know, Y/N was learning so much more about him from the way he talked about all of them.  

Bruce was subtle, but Y/N could tell how proud he was of all of them – even Jason, who he had a tumultuous relationship with. He loved them with all his heart, even though he was terrible at showing it.

“Damian’s the only one who still lives here. Tim has a penthouse in the city. And Dick is constantly jumping around place to place. But it’s been...nice having them around so much recently,” Bruce admitted with hesitation.

“And what about Jason?” She asked. “He never seems to stay here.”

Bruce hid his sadness and disappointment well, but Y/N could still see it.

“I’m lucky Jason even speaks to me,” he answered darkly. “He tends to like his space and prefers to…keep to himself.”

She nodded, not forcing the subject more.

But then her eyes got a glimpse of the clock. And she looked inside her now empty mug. How long ago did she finish it?

“I should probably attempt to get at least a couple hours of sleep,” she murmured as she got up from the stool. 

Bruce nodded, and did that thing where men stand up as soon as a woman does.

No matter how many times he did it, Y/N was always caught off guard by it.

“Thank you for the tea,” her voice was so quiet, but sincere. She smiled, “I’m sorry for ever doubting your skills.”

He grinned and watched her leave.

But when Y/N reached the edge of the kitchen she turned around. “If I asked you a question, would you answer truthfully? And I mean really answer.”

Bruce observed her for a few seconds. 

He knew she deserved his honesty.

They constantly answered each other’s questions with questions. It was like a dance – or a fight – which one probably just depended on the day.

He nodded.

“It’s okay if I am. Really, it is.” She took a short inhale. “But was I just another one of Bruce Wayne’s conquests?”

The desperation for honesty was so clear in her face and voice. If he said ‘yes,’ it would hurt her, but she would get over it. After all, that’s what she’d been assuming all this time.

Bruce did not have the words. Furthermore, he saw this for what it was: the two of them approaching dangerous territory.

But he owed her this.

Bruce didn’t break her stare as he carefully shook his head.

“Goodnight, Bruce.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

——————

LATER THAT NIGHT/EARLY MORNING…

Bruce knew Dick would be in the gym in the manor.

Everyone trained in the cave, so Dick knew no one would find him there. And he could workout in peace without being reprimanded about resting and being cautious about his injuries.

Dick had been sprinting on the treadmill when Bruce walked in.

When he spotted his entrance in the mirror, Dick stopped the machine.

He was dripping in sweat, proving that he’d been training hard – too hard for his condition.

Wonder where he learned that from…

“What’s up?” Dick asked as he wiped his face with a towel.  

“I had a feeling you weren’t resting,” Bruce said as he crossed his arms.

“I’m fine,” Dick shot back.

But he did a double take when he realized how deep in thought Bruce seemed to me. He was staring off, an extremely unusual thing for him. 

“Bruce?” Dick asked with concern. 

“Y/N’s parents abused her,” Bruce told him firmly all of the sudden. “Her father was an alcoholic – beat her and his wife. Her mother emotionally and mentally terrorized her. After running away countless times, Y/N was finally able to emancipate herself at 16.”

Dick’s entire body froze. “How do you know that?”

“She told me.” 

Bruce didn’t mean to sound smug. 

But Dick still took it that way. 

“For obvious reasons, she didn’t go into great detail. But I filled in the blanks with research – though she’s hid her past well, as you can imagine. She was homeless after that. Broke in where she could. Tried to stay off the streets. Even dressed like a boy for safety.”

Dick felt sick as he listened. Stories like this were all too familiar to their family. 

“One day, she saw someone coding on their computer at a coffee shop. She had always overachieved at computer science in school, and it intrigued her. As you and I both know, she caught on rather quickly.”  

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because she’s not going to,” Bruce replied as if it’s obvious.

Dick scowled, still not putting together the deeper meaning. They had never shared a conversation like this before. And it was confusing him.

Was Bruce trying to shove his past with Y/N in Dick’s face?

“I was the first person she ever shared her past with,” Bruce said slowly. “And it took me far too long to realize that I mishandled her trust. I did not deserve it.”

Dick could see the regret on Bruce’s face as he spoke.

But Dick finally understood what Bruce was actually trying to tell him: ‘If she does you the same honor, don’t you dare make the same mistake I did.’

“I understand,” was all Dick responded with.

Bruce gave a curt nod.

“Need I remind you that the cave has cameras?”

Bruce saw them kiss. But little did he know, it wasn’t their first.

Dick only quirked an eyebrow as if it say, ‘So? What of it?’

-----------

Part 8

Guys, I was 30 minutes early. You’re welcome. 

I want to point out that Y/N’s dark past was always part of the story. But I avoided actually including it because I am not a fan of fanfic writers often romanticizing abuse or mental health issues or other serious matters. I just want everyone to know that I take things like this seriously and I’m not just using them as a plot point. 

So here is a resource if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence. 

[wornoutmouse]

@midoriyaprofessionalslut

I can't even begin to describe the ask I received so I'm just going to leave screenshots😅😅

Also in the new mha season, I thought Tsu was being petty when she called Mineta Grape-Juice and Shoji Tentacle. But nope, those are their hero names.

Side note: I feel like when Mineta gets old and knows how to work his quirk better, he'll be able to control if they stick or not.

Slight racism, usual smut.

NOT PROOF READ SO LET ME KNOW IF U SEE SOMETHING

 If you imagine Mineta as in the picture above and with a mature voice, this is more enjoyable. Or you can imagine someone else entirely.. Cause even as someone who's tolerant to Mineta I can't imagine him getting any hoes much less smashing (at least not on top). It would be like watching a chiwawa top a mastiff. 

"This is some bullshit." You shuffle through various papers on your desk, each containing the receipts of Pro-Hero Grapejuice's celebratory purchases. Most of it was random appliances that could in no way be used on a day-to-day basis, but there were others….a shiver goes down your spine, there were others that were just downright perverted. "What even is a nub tickler?" 

Being an accountant was something you were good at, the numbers came easy and it was interesting to see the income and ways of business that different people in power displayed. Planning meetings and getting the occasional phone call made everything a breeze, but it wasn't what you wanted to do. Or in better words, this was not whom you wanted to work for. Even being number 6 causes the workload to be higher than should be physically possible in the hero world. That's one of the reasons you never gave praise to the rankings because no matter how low in the chain, a hero’s work is always taxing. 

Shifting in your seat you look at the analog clock on your desk. 3:45, you were supposed to come to work at 5:30 which means you once again have no time to sleep. Having these late nights had increased 10 fold whenever Mineta went up in rank even by a little. His way of celebrating was spending his money carelessly and leaving you to fix the balance. Though you supposed it may be your fault for never objecting when he barged in your office showing his trinkets as well as leaving his credit card.

"Yeah, it's time to go." You muttered as you read the words, "Dwarf Cow in the left lot of Wisconsin."

 The next hour, you take a detour from your office for the first time in months. Heading down the hall you watch the walls go from the pale greys to deep purple and violet splotches splattered along the wall before it inevitably melds into solid purple walls as you get closer to the front door of his office.

Hesitantly you knock on the door and wait until a muffled "Come in." Rings through the thick wood. The room itself was just as flamboyant as the walls leading to it. A beautiful fuchsia carpet on the floor made you realize that calling in your two weeks would have been better than walking into the Willy-Wonka factory that was this office. Various spherical decorations hung from the chandelier, and even something as simple as the legs of his desk was made up of crystal spheres.

The man himself sat perfectly balanced on a large purple ball most likely of his own creation, meanwhile, various children sat around him slipping and sliding on smaller balls in an attempt to copy him. "Ah, here is my beautiful assistant!" The compliment made you cringe as you fiddled with the end of the sleep-wrinkled white blouse you had worn for 2 days straight. "Can we talk sir? It is important." Mineta raised an eyebrow at your formal speech before shrugging. 

In an extravagant display of balance, Mineta does a handstand on the ball with one hand before flipping to the other side. "Well kids it's time for me to get done as a hero’s job is never over and blah blah blah the gift shop is giving out free plushies and you can keep your ball." The teacher does her best to usher out her students and the sound of childish screams resound down the hallway even though the door was shut. "How can I help you Y/n?" Mineta offers you his ball to sit on and you reluctantly take the offer as you grate in multiple directions in order to stay afloat. 

Mineta watches you with hidden interest as he interlocks his hands underneath his chin. "I didn't know you even knew my name?" Mineta Laughs exposing his annoyingly perfect teeth. It was hard to associate this face to the pictures you see when you search for his early years. "Of course I know your name, I stole your nameplate off your desk 2 months ago." Ah, so that's where it went  "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

You sighed, "I would like to put in my two weeks." Mineta goes slack-jawed before composing himself "Why?" Mineta looked at you earnestly, completely confused on why you'd want to abandon your post as his secretary- I mean assistant. "Working for you has become a hassle with your lack of financial maturity." Mineta mock shivers, "Oo big words, me no likey." Mineta hops onto his desk as if he weighed nothing more than paper and squats in front of you, "How about this, you don't quit and instead help me learn how to...how did you say it? Be financially mature." You lean back in your chair unconvinced that he was taking this seriously.

With the final nail ready to be hit, Mineta adds, "How about I give you a raise of 10 percent and a promotion?" You stand up in your chair with an eager grin, "That sounds great!" Mineta smirks to himself but you did not pay any mind to it. "Great, how about we discuss this over food, dinner date?" Your internal celebration screeches to a halt, " Dinner Date-" Mineta looks at you shocked, "Dinner date? Great idea, why didn't I think of it myself!?" A firm hand slides you towards the door as Mineta starts a complimentary speech giving you no room to object, "This is why I need you, you're so smart, I wish I was like you, tomorrow at 11?" You sputter trying to slip past his arms, "11 but I-?!" Mineta loudly gasps again, "There you go doing it again I'm so lucky to have you, tomorrow at 11 my treat!"

The door is shut in your face and the sound of the lock clicking seals your fate. What did you get into?

Cut to 4 years later and you are still not sure of that answer. Simply being bis accountant you had a glimpse of his perverted tendencies, but as his girlfriend, it was further exposed to depths you never could have found yourself imagining. You shuffle papers in the printing room as you do your best to ignore the faint tingling sensation in between your legs. Yet another whim you found yourself following on Mineta’s behalf despite the ever-present fear of being caught. The vibrator comes to life before going back down as quickly as it came. You toss a middle finger to the camera in the top corner of the room knowing he was watching.

"Miss L/n, can I ask you something?" You slap your arm down to your side in embarrassment. I hope he didn't see that.  Your coworker walks up to you holding a small stack of papers. "Yes, how can I help you?" The man shows you various forms as he talks, for once you were thankful for Mineta not embarrassing you in front of others. "Oh I see where you went wrong, this right here would be a 20% increase, not 18%." The man applauded you and graciously wrote down your explanation. "Thank you so much, my name is Kaminari by the way." 

"Ah hello, Kaminari, and no worries I'm always glad to help!" You turn back as your papers finally scan through but can't help notice Kaminari lingering. "Say Y/n?" You open your mouth to respond only to close it again as the vibratory comes back to life strongly. "Hmmm?!" Kaminari peers at you, your reaction was strange but he couldn't figure out why. "Um, never mind, have a nice day Miss. Y/n, maybe we can get together over coffee or something?” You shrug turning away from Kaminari in fear of your eyes rolling up. The man sways from foot to foot awkwardly before leaving the printing room. 

Snapping out of your personal flashback, you look over at your fiance signing autographs for his adoring and objectively feminine fan base. While it was extremely unnerving how unknowingly close they were to your home, you weren't resentful of their gushing.

Your engagement and your overall relationship had not been made public in fear of your personal life being exploited by paparazzi. That doesn't mean, however, the next thing you witness doesn't get your blood boiling.

A girl, no older than maybe 22 waltzes up to Mineta with the confidence of Muhammad Ali in a ring match. Her raven black hair fell flawlessly down her back with not a single split end. Almond eyes decorated with precise coal blink rapidly to draw attention to her seemingly natural eyelashes. With 4 inch wedges. a black halter top, and cuffed jean shorts, it was clear she was someone on a mission. She effortlessly pushes past the nearby fans as they stop to quack at her rivaling beauty. A smirk draws itself with her soft pink lips as she hears people muttering around and about her.

"Wow she's so pretty"

"They would look good together just look at them."

"Ugh, such an attention whore, not giving the rest of us a chance!"

"I bet a 20 she's his type."

"Is she famous?"

The chatter comes to a close as the girl hands Mineta a notebook, "Can you sign right here?" Mineta flips open the book and his eyes widen a fraction before he puts on his heroic voice, "Wow it looks like you got all of Japan's heroes in this book!" The girl smiles as she watches Mineta scratch his signature, "Don't be afraid to leave your number in there too Mr. Minoru." Mineta pauses at the statement for continuing his elaborate handwriting, "I don't think that would be very plus ultra of me so I'm gonna have to pass." Smug pride fills your chest as you watch the annoyance cross the girl's face.

Mineta finishes signing and hands her back her book, she, in turn, forces a small piece of paper in his hand before holding his chin and kissing him. At that moment nothing else mattered but beating that bitches ass as you yanked her black hair and dragged her to the ground. "This ain’t Wattpad bitch get your hands off of him!!" You turn to Mineta making him flinch with a sharp glare as you yank her hair again, hopefully pulling a few strands out. "You just gonna let her kiss you and not do anything!?" Mineta stretched his hands towards you cautiously, "Y/n calm down, if you would have given me a chance I would have settled it-" "No, settle it now!"

Your rage is diminished by the judgmental looks coming from the fans and you realize your brazen display was out of order.

"Who is she"

"I think she's the secretary l, so why is she so mad"

"Delusional just cause you're with him all the time doesn't mean you're together"

"I hope he fires her."

"This is why we shouldn't let them in Japan"

The girl whose hair you have in a chokehold stands up unbalanced before pushing your hands from her hair. Satisfied at the disheveled look of her previously perfect strands, you turn to walk back to Mineta, your anger having been sated, "Black Bitch." You turn around and go charging towards the girl again grinning when she flinches. Your rampage is stopped as Mineta wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up, "Sorry for the disturbance, we deeply apologize!"

It's almost comical how your mouth spews vulgarity that would make a sailor blush as Mineta drags you behind your apartment building. He ushers you through the back door leading to the washroom, "I can't believe she'd do that in front of me, and you let her!" Mineta shuts the door quietly, leaning his ear against it to listen out for any lingering fans. You sit on top of a washer still ranting as your blood cools down. "The nerve of some of these people is outrageous, even if she doesn't know about us that is still sexual harassment!"

Mineta doesn't look at you and instead peeks through the blinds lining the washroom windows. "I think they are gone, come on." The two of you sneak out the door and walk at a moderate speed all the way back to your front door. In hindsight, you knew that causing a scene like that was a bold move on your part. If anyone was recording the whole ordeal you knew Mineta’s name and possibly yours would be in the headlines by later this evening. 

As the last one entering, you lock the door behind you, forehead scrunched together with apprehension. "Mineta I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. I just saw her touching you and saw red." You face away from the door with an earnest look on your face. Mineta has a cheeky look on his face that can only mean trouble. Despite your similar slim build and height, Mineta easily corners you against the door. "I know exactly what got into you." Mineta’s pointer finger taps your nose. "Jealousy."

You sighed, putting your head down nodding, "Yeah, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just-" "shhh." Mineta lips your head back up with a hand under your chin. "It's fine Y/n. It's not like I expected a perfect little cocksleeve like you to be okay with sharing." You stare blinkingly at Mineta. 'Oh, he's in one of those moods huh?' As expected from such a fiend like Mineta, he was quite possibly hard the whole time he was watching you beat that girl's ass, and for some reason that irked you even more. “Mineta I’m being serious.” The words leaving your mouth did not phase Mineta, he holds your hips and pulls you close to him in order for you to feel his bulge. 

“Oh come on, after seeing you be so possessive for me, how can you not expect me to be a lil turned on?” Mineta’s hands circle your ass before slapping it, “Made me feel special.” Rolling your eyes you lean into the lingering kisses he begins to leave on your shoulder. His grip tightens as he shuffles you to the nearest surface. “Makes me feel all giddy inside to know that you do this only for me and no one else.” Minoru unbuttons your dress pants and removes your belt, “But doing that in front of all those people was stupid.” A shiver travels up your arms from the feeling of lips caressing your ear. Mineta dips his hand into your cotton panties and immediately draws attention to your clit.

“Look at me, Mineta Minoru with a girl like you that would fight for me. Who would have thought?” You ball your fists on the table, hanging your head low. “You’re not going to make this easy for me are you?” Mineta slips his other hand beneath your blouse to cup your breasts. Short l  rub down your slit collecting your slick. The feeling was warm and buzzing just underneath your skin, the bastard was well trained on how to slowly but surely bring your pleasure to its peak and hold you there. Your muscles begin to feel more and more like jelly, you sigh “Oh God..” Mineta pushed his body further on yours, rutting against your body. Up until now, his other hand was simply resting on your skin but once impatience overcame him, he used it to pull down your pants. 

“You know this will be in articles tomorrow right?” Two fingers curl inside of you making you squeal, “Y-Yes!” Something hard and slick smacks against your bare ass as Mineta removes the bottom half of his hero costume. “So how are you going to compensate me for what I’ll have to deal with tomorrow?” You turn your head to the back with a small pout on your face, “She shouldn’t have touched you.” Mineta coyly smiles before pressing your head down against the table. “You should have let me handle it.” 

Mineta was an average of 5 inches in length with conservative girth. But so far he’s been the only man that really added proof that size doesn’t matter. Mineta pulls away from you and leans down to riffle through his pants. You hear a crisp pop of a cap being opened and a slick splatter is heard afterward. A shaky breath leaves Mineta’s lips as he lubes his cock up. Penetrating is a struggle at first, the longer it takes for him to push it in the more both of you become frustrated until he finally pulls your waist back against himself. “S-So good!” The pleasure causes his childhood lisp to slip through as he waits for you to acclimate to the stretch. 

You shift your feet when Mineta refrains from moving. "Tsk, you really don't understand the meaning of patience do you?" Your hands suddenly become cool to the touch as Mineta covers them with medium sized spheres temporarily gluing you to the table. "Mineta this isn't fair! Please just a little bit to the left!" Now having you helpless Mineta puts one hand on your back while stroking the base of his cock. "It's not about being fair, it is about teaching a sneaky brat like you to know their place." Mineta begins to move but it's not right, he needs to go more to the left, "Mineta what are you even talking about!?!" 

A sigh leaves Mineta's lips, "Don't think I forgot about that slick shit you tried to pull with Kaminari." Mineta watches your ad shake and bounce everytime your hips meet. Your arms twitch and pull at themselves wanting to find purchase on the flat surface. Groans leave your lips as Mineta comes closer to hitting your spot,  "Slick shit?! Y-You're the one that wanted to do that stupid little piano in the first place!" You couldn't see it but Mineta had a deep seated glare on his face. He loops his fingers underneath his yellow scarf and rolls it around long ways. 

"I'm really tierd of your mouth. What you think because I let you beat that girl out their I'll let you beat me?" The middle of the scarf is put in your mouth and your head is pulled back by it. Mineta holds both ends of the scarf to slam into your cunt. "Just a greedy little bitch aren't you?" You scream into the cloth as Minetas cock finally hits your spot just right. The constant pulling on the corner of your mouth burned everytime the fabric rubbed against the sensitive flesh. Your feet rise to your toes in a fruitless attempt at getting a break from the pleasure. Mineta holds his scarf in one hand and pushes down your waist. "Didnt you want this? Don't run from it now."

Your pussy squelched around his cock the faster he went making you go cross eyed. "Fuck you feel so damn good.  The table rattled and scraped across the floor with every thrust. "oh fuck, I'm gonna cum!" Your nails scraped the table as you closed your fist, had you had claws it would have been a whole different story. You beared down on his cock, trying, begging to feel more inside of your walls as he moved faster. Suddenly your argument fel worth it.

Mineta knew many things about himself. He knew his birthday, he knew where he was in life, and he knew he had come 6 minutes ago and was bordering hysteria as he pumped his overestimated cock into your wet heat. Each drag made years collect in his eyes.  Tiny whimpers left his lips and his hands squeezed your sides harder and hard.  "So fucking warm. Squeezing down on my dick like that." 

He bowed his head and rested on your back,  kissing the sweaty skin as he pushed through the painful pleasure.  "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Mineta slaps your ass  before pulling out and shoving his fingers inside your pussy. "Cum for me, Y/n. That's it cum on my hands." Mineta's fingers were the only thing that never really grew on him. They were relatively short but thick so even three of them were able to stretch your hole the way you needed. 

"Y-Yes, right there shit!" Your cum drips down his arm soiling the fabric there as you squint around him, "That's it give it to me." Mineta buried his face in your pussy licking you clean like a man starved. It wasn't until you whined did he stop and pull his fingers out. 

Luckily for you, his spheres were just about coming close to their time constraint. You stand up rubbing your wrists and drinking some water Mineta brings you. A snort captures your attention and Mineta holds up his phone, "Not even an hour." Writing in thick bold words read. 

"Obsessive Secretary Snaps on Camera!"

You snort, "I'm the obsessive one huh?" It was going to be a long day tomorrow 

[simonsrosebud]

FOXES AND MORGAN! FOXES AND MORGAN! DADS AND FOXES AND MORGAN! GIMMIE SUPPORTIVE FOUND FAM!!!!!

don’t have to ask ME twice...

they find out that morgan is allergic to banana’s the hard way.

it’s a month since they brought her home, and kevin is a state over for something he couldn’t back out of. it’s just dalton and morgan for the day.

and dalton decides to mash up bananas until they’re soft enough for her to eat.

at first it’s fine.

but five minutes go by and she starts making this weird sound with her throat.

and then she coughs every once in a while, and dalton starts getting worried.

he rushes her out of the house when she starts breathing heavily.  the hospital is fifteen minutes away, and he doesn’t even know that it’s an allergic reaction yet but he’s freaking out and kevin isn’t answering his phone.

he calls neil.  dan is working, and he knows andrew has therapy at some point on wednesdays.

“you need to calm down.  if she’s breathing she’s fine and you’re only five minutes away at this point.”

“i know but-“

“you did nothing wrong, dalton.  foster care didn’t know she was allergic and neither did you.”

“allergic to what?!”

“you said she started being weird after lunch, you said she had bananas.”

and jesus, of course it’s the bananas.

morgan gets a shot almost as soon as they get to the emergency room, and she screams sitting on dalton’s lap and he’s trying so hard not to cry right now it’s not even funny.

they keep them there until she’s back to normal, and at one point dan pushes back the curtain they’re behind.

dalton looks to the side, but dan comes over and wipes a tear off his cheek with the cuff of her sleeve.  “are you okay?”

he’s not even going to question how she knew he was here.  “i’m the reason she’s even here, so not really.”

“hey.  this is not your fault.  you had no way of knowing if she was allergic because she’s never had bananas before.  you rushed her here as soon as you noticed was something was wrong which is the best thing you could’ve done.”  he nods.

“once, when abram was learning to roll over i was trying to help him out.  but i pulled his arm too hard and pulled it out of the socket.”  dalton’s eyebrows shoot up.  she shrugs.  “matt was there, too!  we didn’t know anything was wrong until he wouldn’t stop crying for like two hours.  abby came by and popped it right back in.”

dalton takes a deep breath and hugs morgan tight.  “you’re a good dad, dalton.”

and ten minutes later kevin shoved the curtain out of the way, out of breath with andrew on his heels.  all is good.

another thing… morgan is loud, when she wants to be.  she isn’t speaking yet, but she squeals and babbles.

her favorite is copying what her dads do.  for instance, when kevin is putting his shoes on for a run, she often takes her shoes off and brings them to him to put back on her.

or when dalton goes through a phase of trying to do a handstand, she always bends over to touch her hands to the ground.  it’s as far as she goes, but it’s good enough.

but... whenever andrew and neil find themselves around her, she follows andrew around like a magnet.  from the time she’s crawling to when she just gets the hang of walking.

it shouldn’t be a shock to any of them.  andrew is her godfather.

when the foxes make their way to kevin’s house, morgan falls off of allison’s lap to scooch next to andrew on the sofa.

she puts her face down on the cushion and sticks her tongue out at him.

her obsession with him is very noticeable.  “she gets me,” he says.

and later in the night he’s sitting on the floor in front of neil.  everyone is in the living room together, and morgan comes running in after one of the boyd’s children.  well, more of a slow waddle.

andrew sees her trip over a shoe before it happens.  he’s sitting on the floor and grabs her with one arm before she reaches the ground and plops her in his lap all in one move.  you can tell the whole movement is too fast for her to comprehend.

“no,” andrew says when she looks back and goes to grab onto his arm.  she stops.

“no,” he says, when the foxes look his way.  and “no,” he says, when kevin starts to come to the rescue.  i’ve got her.

dalton is grinning at allison’s side, raising a brow at kevin.

but andrew goes on his business ignoring everyone and continuing a conversation with renee.  he grabs her pacifier sitting on the coffee table and holds it wordlessly and blindly in front of her face until she leans forward and takes it with her mouth, and then he drops neil’s little stress ball into her lab.  big enough not to choke on.

plus, if she slobbers on it it’s neil’s fault for leaving it in his jacket anyway.

after ten minutes, morgan leans back against andrew’s chest.  he tenses for a moment, not expecting it, but neil’s hand in his hair grounds him.  she’s just a baby.  harmless.

from then on, uncle andrew kind of turns into fun uncle andrew.  he doesn’t show it in the typical ways, but he’s always been her favorite anyways.

now, he’s the one who tosses a new stuffed or plush toy to her when they visit, and he’s the one who silently gives her a spoonful of ice cream whenever the times arise.  and when he and neil get the chance to babysit her for the first time she comes home with a new little blankie, a stuffed fox, and the smallest kids size of a minyard south carolina jersey.

kevin fumes.  she doesn’t even have one of his.

she’s also the first person besides neil to call him drew, once she’s talking.  whether it’s because she just can’t pronounce it right yet is irrelevant.

she sees andrew and neil leaving practice when dalton picks kevin up one day.  the windows are down, and she shakes her legs in her car seat.  “unuh dew!”

andrew snaps his head over.  he comes over, holds his hand up for a high five, and walks off after she hits it.

[strange-lace]

Concert State of Consciousness

IT’S FINALLY DONE! I HAVE NOW MADE A FANFIC FOR THIS ROLESWAP AU! I didn’t expect this damn thing to get this long but here I am, once again! Kind of happy with how everyone’s characterized, though Demon Kid ended up a bit more sinister than I intended. I definitely had fun writing the dynamic between Mei and Green though.

Hope y’all like it!

To say the city was abuzz with excitement would be an understatement.

For the past couple of months, the name DJ Horns has been spoken with increasing interest as his music suddenly began to be played on the radio constantly. And most people wouldn’t deny that it was good, electronic yet incredibly varied depending on the song. But what interested people the most about the musician was how mysterious he was, active on social media and yet nobody knew his face and only the barest of personal details. Even his voice was a matter of debate with him using a voice synthesizer even when talking normally on his social media.

It was the perfect storm to allow DJ Horns fanbase to start from nothing to practically explode over time.

And the same musician had just announced that he would be doing a live concert right at the heart of the city, even playing “secret tracks” that he had yet to let anyone hear until now.

People were practically fighting to get themselves tickets, Mei herself included that chaos. She had been swept up in the excitement of DJ horns since the very beginning and was willing to do whatever she had to get tickets for her and Green to that concert.

Leading her to the unfortunate situation she was in now. Kicked out of the ticket venue and by the time the ban would be lifted, she knew all the concert tickets would be sold out. Oh and Green had to bail her out from getting in trouble with the security guys.

“I don’t get what the big deal was, everyone was fighting dirty to get first pick at those tickets!” Even with his shades, she could tell that Green was rolling his eyes at her.

“Oh gee, I don’t know Mei. Maybe it’s because you nearly tore a guy’s hair out!”

“That’s what he gets for trying to say I was only a fan to get the attention of other guys! Now I’m gonna miss the concert of a lifetime,” Mei groaned, a pout on her lips. Green’s scowl of disappointment softened as they walked into Pigsy’s Noodles, starting to feel bad. It’s not like the guy wasn’t being a jerk after all.

“I suppose I could see about pulling some strings to get us some decent seats, if it means that much-” He was cut off by a crushing hug from Mei, who easily lifted Green off of his feet and began to twirl them both around in sheer jubilation.

“You’d do that for me?! Thank you so much Green, you’re the absolute best!”

“Yes, yes, your appreciation is very evident now please put me down before you crush my rib cage,” he wheezed, letting in a deep gulp of air once he was freed. Mei appeared sheepish at the unintentional show of strength. “As I was saying, there’s probably a couple scalpers I could cough two tickets out of without much trouble.”

“I still question how you have the money to just do stuff like that casually, make hundreds of gadgets, and build our secret base.”

“You have your mysterious ways and I have mine Mei.” Before Mei could question further, Pigsy voice interrupted them both, looking a fair bit of a mess.

“There you are kid, we got a mountain of orders for you to deliver! Oh, and this came for you and Green in mail while you were gone, no return address though weirdly enough,” he said, shoving a load of noodle orders in Mei’s arms alongside two unmarked envelopes: one orange and the other green. The sound of something crashing in the kitchen tore Pigsy’s attention away, causing him to let out a string of curses as he went back into what sounded like chaos.

Green took the envelopes off Mei’s hands while she struggled with balancing all the orders in her arms, studying them with interest. Upon closer inspection, each envelope simply had “To My Heroes” scrawled on the front in elegant writing and sealed with a black wax seal on the back. He found himself impressed at all the sheer amount of effort put in.

“Fancy,” he commented before gently opening the green envelope. His eyes widened at what he found inside. “Looks like I won’t need to pay any scalpers for tickets.”

“Wait what do you mean? Gimme that!” Mei said, putting the orders down on the table to snatch the orange envelope and tear into it with desperate ferocity. There were practically stars once she took in what was inside: front row tickets to the DJ Horns concert and even VIP passes.

The windows of the restaurant rattled the slightest bit as the sheer force of her screams of joy.

Green didn’t even flinch as his ears were assaulted, used to this level of volume, while unfortunate bystanders winced in pain or jumped in surprise. He found a handwritten behind the ticket in his own envelope and curiosity getting the better of him, began to read it.

“As a token of thanks for always keeping this city safe, here’s free front row tickets on me! Can’t wait to see you both tonight in front of the crowd! ♡♡♡

- DJ Horns”

“How… suspiciously generous of him,” Green drawled, an eyebrow raised at such a note.

“What’s suspicious about it? We do save the city a lot and somebody’s just showing their appreciation for it! I see no problem with it,” Mei argued, pausing in her celebrations, which involved her doing a handstand on one of the stools and didn’t even seem bothered holding the position.

“Mei, this implies that he hand delivered these here without anybody noticing. Why go through all that effort to be sneaky?” It just didn’t sit right in the pit of his stomach, something smelled rotten about this to him.

“Because he’s a mega famous celebrity, he’s probably worried that making a big deal out of us giving these could make people upset or something.” It made sense to Mei, who wouldn’t free tickets from their favorite music artist and be upset that someone else was given that opportunity? She did a small flip from the stool to land next to Green, wrapping her arm around his shoulders until they were close enough that their cheeks were squished together. Despite the closeness, Green looked more uncomfortable about being tugged down to Mei’s height than anything else. That and how blinding her smile was.

“C’mon Green, I get the skepticism but it’s just a concert. One night where we can be normal teens enjoying the fruits of our labor in protecting this place, what’s so bad about that? Plus, it’ll be fun! So how about it?” Mei said, almost sounding desperate. Green remained silent for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh, only giving her a tired smile as he returned the one armed hug.

“Oh alright, you win. I suppose a break sounds nice right about now considering how things went with Demon Kid last time. Why look a gift horse in the mouth?” He conceded, willing to let his suspicion aside for a night of just not having to worry about anything but having a good time and enjoying music. Especially after yesterday, Green was still amazed that the demon managed to make something like perfume into a weapon of mass annoyance.

“That’s the spirit! This is gonna be the night of our lives!”

At least that’s what she thought, until her trinkets were literally snatched out of her hands.

“After you finish your deliveries for the night kid,” Pigsy interrupted, looking a lot more put together now that whatever disaster that had been happening in the kitchen was under control. Excluding the number of stains on his apron that weren’t there before of course. It took Mei a moment to process that her precious tickets weren’t in her hands and she was quick to bring out the puppy dog eyes.

“But- but Pigsy-” Pigsy showed no sign of giving in, having years to build a resistance to all of Mei’s tricks.

“I’m sorry Mei, but we’re way too swamped to let you run off with no one to do all these deliveries. Once you have all the deliveries done, you can have these back. But only after, so you better get started,” he stated, leaving no room for argument. And even if Mei tried, the smell of something burning had Pigsy back in the kitchen just like that with even more fervent curses, this time with her tickets tucked into the pockets of his apron.

Mei let out a groan and smacked her forehead against the countertop in despair. Green merely patted her back in sympathy to her plight.

“There’s no way I’m gonna make all those deliveries and not miss like half of the concert! Unless…”

Oh no, he recognized that look in her eyes anywhere.

“Mei, no. I know exactly what you’re thinking and I’m telling you right now, no. No music is worth facing Pigsy’s wrath if he finds out you skipped out on work for a concert. Which is what exactly will happen, he always finds out,” Green warned her, even taking off his sunglasses to look her dead in the eyes to get his point across. Mei winced at that, remembering what had happened last time she tried to skimp on work.

The power of Pigsy’s “I’m not mad, just disappointed” is something even DBK should fear.

“Look, I’ll record whatever you miss if I don’t see you by the time it starts. Might not be the same but it’s better than nothing.” That offer seemed to perk Mei up from her bout of disappointment, hopeful eyes peeking through her thick hair bangs.

“Promise?”

“I promise. But if you don’t want to miss the whole thing, you’d better do what Pigsy says and get started on the deliveries. Especially since I think that pile has grown since we got here,” Green said, pointing to the small mountain of orders which indeed had gotten bigger since passed off to her. This time, he was more prepared for the bone crushing embrace which came his way and thankfully had his arms free enough to return it.

“Thanks Green, you’re the best! Hopefully I’ll see you there before it all starts!” And just like that, Mei was off like a whirlwind with all the noodle orders in her arms. She excitedly loaded them into the shop’s delivery cart and drove off with a strong stomp in the gas pedal, the cart’s tires squealing in distress before driving off.

With a weary sigh, Green took his leave as well though he couldn’t stop looking at the ticket and note in his hands. 

Even with Mei’s assurances, something about the situation still did not sit right with him.

“For once, please let me be wrong,” Green whispered to himself, not noticing a suspiciously familiar monkey-shaped marionette creature eagerly watching him from the rooftops above. On the other side of the puppet’s eyes, her creator couldn’t help the manic grin off of his face as the pieces started to fall into place for his plan.

Green had to admit that he was expecting this many people packed into the area when he rolled up to the concert gates on his motorcycle, Mei still nowhere in sight. Though he certainly made sure to update him on how the deliveries were going.

A familiar ding sound on his phone made him pause, giving an exasperated smile at seeing another text from Mei.

“WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ORDERING NOODLES TONIGHT??? got done w 3/4 of the orders, if i hurry i should be there before opening act’s done. if anybody tries to steal my seat, i give you permission to use lethal force. don’t let me down! <3”

“Maybe if you didn’t send me so many texts, you’d be getting the deliveries done faster Mei,” Green mumbled to himself fondly as he climbed off his bike, blissfully unaware of the stares being sent his way. As usual, his hair was a mess of black and pale green spikes as he pulled off his helmet and he let out a soft huff, attempting to put order to the mane that was his hair as he made his way inside.

Green let out a low whistle, impressed as he walked further in to discover the place was decorated head to toe with fluorescent neon lights, state of the art music equipment, and a giant disco ball hanging from the ceiling which added another layer of glitz. It was almost disorientating, the onslaught of neon colors, lights, and music from all sides but in a way that was also exhilarating. The harsh glow of red, orange, and purple was a bit much for Green but at the same time it filled him with a sense of giddiness that made him begin to understand Mei’s desperation to be here.

His heart did a slight leap of excitement once he found his seat. It was one thing to read he had a front row seat and another thing entirely to see how close he was to the stage. And a completely separate thing to see a note on the seat, scrawled with a familiar extravagant writing which welcomed him and Mei with hopes that they would enjoy the show.

All too soon, all the lights went out and Green could feel his breath pause before they returned with full force alongside familiar music which seemed to make the entire room pulsate with its vibrations. Multiple spotlights shined on the stage and the crowd went wild with cheering as DJ Horns finally showed, looking just as bombastic as his set up.

He wore an ornate metallic helmet decorated with large horns that protruded from the forehead which shined a rainbow of colors under the neon lights. A dark fur lined coat was draped over his shoulders with a matching suit underneath and metal lined gloves on his hands. Overall, he looked like quite a character to Green though there was niggling in the back of his head that this should be someone that he could recognize. The grip on the arms of his seat tightened.

His eyes took in the still empty seat to his right and he began to gnaw his lip in worry.

“Where are you Mei?” Green asked himself before the synthesized voice of DJ Horns interrupted his thoughts.

“What is up everybody? You all ready for the show of a lifetime?!” A loud cacophonous roar of cheers answered him, which he soaked in without a hint of shame in his posture. “That’s what I like to hear! And we have some very special guests tonight right in the front row, the Monkie Kid herself and her partner, the Green Dragon!”

Green couldn’t help the flinch when a spotlight suddenly shined down on him, leaving him feeling exposed to hundreds upon thousands of eyes which zeroed in on him the vacant seat next to him. Yet he still forced on a smile which was more teeth than anything else, not quite appreciating being put on the spot like this. The musician’s shoulders seemed to tense in disappointment once he also noticed being down one of his special guests, yet he was quick to shake it off.

“Seems it’s more like one special guest, but no matter! We’re still going to make this a night that the city itself won’t ever forget! The first and unfortunately, only, live concert by the one and only DJ Horns!” He was met with gasps of surprise and even a couple cries of despair at this bombshell. “I know, I know! But there’s a reason for this, my dear fans. Because after tonight, you’ll all know the man behind the mask and I’m sure you’ve all been dying to know who it is. Am right?!” DJ Horns teased, hands reaching for his helmet.

The manic energy of the entire building seemed to escalate to almost out of control levels at that announcement, people scrambling for their phones to get the chance of capturing his face before anyone else. Green would have been among them if that uneasy feeling hadn’t begun to grow into full on paranoia, as if his very being could sense that the other shoe was about to drop. He was so tense that Green felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Please let me be wrong, please let me be wrong, please let me be wrong,” he chanted to himself, his grip tightening to an unbearable degree as DJ Horns finally pulled off his helmet.

Unfortunately for him and everyone else, he wasn’t wrong.

His heart practically stopped as his eyes were welcomed by an unfortunately familiar face: spiked brown hair held up by a golden circlet styled like horns, dark eyes framed in orange and red pigment, and a fanged grin that promised nothing but trouble.

Demon Kid.

And his grin only became larger once he took in the shocked silence, particularly Green’s horror ridden face. He looked extremely pleased with himself as he took advantage of everyone struggling to process what was going on to prepare for the final phase of his plan.

And would it be a sweet victory for him.

“Oh, I’m going to treasure that look on your face for the rest of my life, Dragon Boy. It’s certainly a shame that the Noodle Girl couldn’t join in on the party but, eh, she’ll come eventually.” Green had finally overcome his horror, sword in his hands and making a mad dash towards Demon Kid on the stage. Yet the demon remained unaffected as he put on the finishing touches. “Because by the time I’m done, everyone in this whole city will be dancing for my king like my puppets. Starting with all you!” 

And with that, Demon Kid put the volume at max and blasted the entire building with his music. The sheer force of the sound sent Green flying back, crashing into now abandoned seats as people attempted to escape. However, to their horror, all the doors were locked and barricaded. Leaving them trapped and at the mercy of the music assaulting their ears from all sides and one by one, civilians fell to the floor as they tried their hardest to muffle the noise. Yet as if a sentient force, the melody managed to slither its way in and overwhelmed people’s senses like a tidal wave with one simple but overpowering command.

And that command was to obey.

Green climbed to his feet in a daze, struggling to focus with the sheer volume and the strange whispering that seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere. And already Green could feel his mental walls crumbling, he wasn’t going to last long before he succumbed to the strange power.

Mei.

He had to warn Mei.

He scrambled for his phone, barely able to take him the most recent message from Mei stating she was heading back to get her ticket back from Pigsy. Clumsy fingers fumbled to type out a warning and relief flooded his nerves once the message was sent.

And just in time as Green found himself being dogpiled by multiple people, their eyes glowing a hollow and ominous red. He struggled yet the mental strain of fighting to keep control left him weak and vulnerable, sword just out of his reach. Impish chuckling invaded his ears and before he knew it, Demon Kid was right there. And while the demon typically only had a couple inches on Green, now he downright loomed over him and radiating smugness.

“Still fighting huh Dragon Boy? Almost impressive! But there’s no point in fighting anymore, the spell will wear you down one way or another. So save your energy, you’ll need it when you and Noodle Girl help me conquer this city in the name of my king. It’ll be awesome, just you wait!” The childlike giddiness would almost be endearing if Green wasn’t fighting a mental battle that he had no chance in winning, not against this kind of magic.

“Mei’ll stop you, she always does,” he grit out, eyes already taking on a faint red glow.

“Oh I wouldn’t be so sure of that, after all I’d like to see her fight against her best friend when he’s under my control. But that’s not for you to worry about. Now, give in Dragon Boy,” Demon Kid commanded and like that, Green found himself being pulled under into a strange haze, only able to think of obeying the commands of his puppetmaster. The demon couldn’t help the joyous laugh as he watched Green’s eyes become red much like the rest of his little army.

Mei had been driving like a madwoman towards the concert the moment she read Green’s text.

“it’s demon kid using spell to hypnotize people don’t have time can already feel control slipping need to destroy his set up and stop the music before he gets city”

“I swear if he’s hurt Green, I will make him wish he stuck with making music,” she hissed to herself before letting out a growl at another red light slowing her down. “To hell with this.” Mei summoned the staff, slamming one end against the street and keeping a tight grip as the staff extended, sending her and the cart sailing above the streets below.

Mei barely flinched at the rough landing in front of the building, only feeling a flash of guilt at the state of the cart. She could pay Pigsy back for the damages later. Staff held tight in her grip and headphones on to buy herself time, Mei was ready for anything. And upon taking notice that all the doors appeared to be either locked or blocked, she did the next best thing to get inside.

Pole vault and smash her way through a window, miraculously not cutting herself on the glass.

She tumbled forward upon landing and took in the scene before her.

Her headphones certainly didn’t stop her from feeling the bass practically rock the foundation of the place yet what Mei found more worrisome were the people. Instead of rushing to attack her, they were all dancing to the beat of the song and looked almost perfectly normal. Except they were all too in sync and choreographed, as if Mei found herself in a music video than anything else. A shiver traveled down her spine as they all seemed to be watching her yet gave her a wide berth to catch sight of the stage.

Her blood boiled at the sight of Demon Kid, perched at his station but wiggling about showing he was barely able to sit still in anticipation.

“There you are, you had me waiting forever for you to get here!” He exclaimed, almost happy to see Mei before he caught himself and schooled his expression back to a businesslike indifference. “Not that it matters, you’ll be joining the Dragon Boy soon enough and we can start taking over this city!”

“Not while I have these headphones on, asshole!” Mei screamed over the music before rushing towards the stage, ready to smash Demon Kid’s equipment to pieces. It was only out of a vague sense of danger which flared in the back of her head and dodging at the right time that she managed to evade being skewered in the side by a sword.

The sight of Green, eyes lifeless red and moving around as if a stiff marionette being led around on strings, was definitely one that Mei was going to see in her nightmares for who knows how long.

Leaping to dodge another swipe of Green’s sword, Demon Kid’s cackle seemed to echo in sync with the music.

“Well then we’ll just have to rip those headphones off your pretty head ourselves! Minions, if you please!” Following the demon’s command, the hypnotized civilians stopped their dancing and attacked.

And Mei soon found herself swarmed and being attacked on all sides. It soon became more of a deadly game of tag, keeping herself out of the reach of her countless pursuers and evading Green’s relentless attacks. She was running out of time and space, she needed to think of a plan.

Fast.

Her eyes soon caught sight of the stage lighting above Demon Kid’s set and it was as if a lightbulb went off in her head.

It was risky and she only had one shot.

But Mei was always one for risk.

With a quick change in direction, Mei dashed towards the center of the swarm and just before she was pulled in, she took aim and threw the staff towards the stage lights. She could only be left to hope that she didn’t miss as a hand grabbed her ankle, only to be face to face with Green. His blank face now alight with a victorious grin before they were left tumbling along the floor in a desperate bid to grab one another.

Mei grunted as she found herself pinned down by Green, the neon lights causing his sword to gleam with menace as he held the tip to her throat. His other hand ripped off her headphones without mercy and her own ears were overwhelmed by the music.

“C’mon staff, don’t let me down,” she said, doing her best to fight as the spell soon attempted to creep its way in her head too.

“Well done, my dear puppet,” Demon Kid congratulated Green, pride practically emanating from his being. “Any last words, Noodle Girl?” His victory was practically guaranteed now and he couldn’t wait to see the look on his king’s face.

Which only made the demon confused at the sight of Mei’s smirk, her eyes focused upwards.

“Yeah. Might want to look above.”

“What?” Demon Kid did so and his heart stuttered at the sight of the spinning staff pinballing across the walls before colliding with the heavy duty wires which held the stage lights.

And cut through them without ease.

Without any suspension, the stage light rig surrendered to the forces of gravity. Demon Kid hurriedly dived off the stage to save himself, narrowly missed being squished by the rig. Unfortunately, his music equipment was not granted the same luck and was crushed in a shower of sparks, cutting off the music.

Blissful silence took over the area and Mei let out a sigh of relief as the sensation of something prying at her mind vanished like mist. And she couldn’t help a smile as the red vanished from Green’s eyes, signifying the end of Demon Kid’s control on him. He let out a groan, crawling back to consciousness as if waking up from the world’s worst nap, before realizing where he was.

“Mei? What happened? Are you okay?” Green was quick to get off Mei and help her back to her feet. She simply gave him a hug, content to see him safe and sound now. He accepted the hug without complaint, feeling less like he was struggling to gather his ability for free will again after having it ripped away. They were quick to break away as flames licked at their backs and they were faced with Demon Kid, his hair now flames as he took in his now ruined DJ equipment.

The duo took fighting stances, only for the demon to take a deep breath and have his hair to return to normal.

“Well, looks like you both got me beat this time. Here I thought I had it all in the bag but then you pulled that off-the-wall solution out of nowhere! And I admit, it looked cool as hell! I’ll give you two this win, here’s a little something for it,” Demon Kid said before tossing a bundle their way, which Mei caught with a look of caution from Green before they unwrapped it. To their mutual surprise, it was two letterman jackets emblazoned with the DJ Horns logo on the back and sleeves.

Before they could question him on this, Demon Kid gave the two a cheeky week before vanishing in a whirlwind of fire and smoke.

After a moment of stunned silence, Mei wordlessly took one of the jackets and put it on.

“After all that, you’re still willing to wear anything associated with DJ Horns?”

“Hey, this is merch I’ve never seen before and you gotta admit, we’d make this look good.” She even struck a pose to prove her point.

With a resigned groan, Green followed suit by putting on the other jacket and silently agreed that the jackets did make them look pretty good.

[polaristranslations]

Yotsugi Buddy Episode 4

As someone who'd rather involuntarily become a vampire and been turned into a thrall, it was an idea that I could have never conceived of.

The idea of creating an oddity.

Even if she said it with the mood of, "I'm going to make an origami crane," I wasn't going to slap my knee [hiza wo utsu] and go, "So there was a method like that!"

If anything, it was such a shocking suggestion that it felt that I'd been shot in the knee [hiza wo utsu]... After all, it took me so much effort to become human again, and to state it clearly, even over a year later, I was still suffering from the dependence, aftereffects, and rehabilitation from that experience.

Even though it may not seem that way...

"B-but, is it really okay to do that? Creating an oddity is a pretty big deal, isn't it? I thought that you specialists were here to prevent that from happening... I was sure it was some forbidden act."

"Yeah. It's a black that's pretty close to gray."

"So it's still black!"

"Yep. Well, everyone gets all spooked when they hear about how forbidden it is, but don't you think it'll end up being not a huge deal when we try it out?"

"Spoken like an idiot just before they make an irredeemable mistake!"

In the first place, Ononoki-chan herself was an oddity that was created—revived—through a taboo.

As mentioned previously, Kagenui-san and Teori Tadatsuru (then college students) bore witness to that revival, and thus sustained appropriate curses...

The curse of not being able to walk on the ground.

I was a college student like them, but I didn't want to meet the same fate as them.

"It'll be fine. For you, oni onii-chan, isn't it similar to the difference between a life surrounded by walls and a life spent on top of walls, right?"

"A life spent on top of walls? Speaking of which, my bigger little sister used to do that a lot, while doing handstands."

Although she didn't do that as much anymore.

Since she'd entered high school, she'd stopped going out in a tracksuit.

I wonder if she became fashion-conscious.

"Okay, listen up, Ononoki Yotsugi. Once upon a time, Shinobu and I kept going along with a mood like that, traveled through time, and ended up destroying the world."

"The result of that is too extreme for me to use as reference. Besides, weren't you in a similar mood when you saved the dying Heartunderblade in spring break?"

"Hell no I wasn't! I was completely serious at the time, and it was a serious mistake!"

"Anyway, I want you to listen up. Oni onii-chan, are you so sensible that you'd get discouraged after one or two mistakes? What would you even do with that? How pathetic. Didn't we use to do stupid things together? Nadekou has also been making some mistakes recently, but she still hasn't gotten discouraged yet."

"I know it's not my place to say this, but what the hell are you doing with Sengoku!? Don't do stupid things with her! If you're going to, do them with me!"

"That's why I'm going to do this with you right now, oni onii-chan."

It's fine, it's fine—said Ononoki-chan, making an empty promise.

But I sensed nothing but danger.

"Though I say 'turning it into an oddity', it'll only be a temporary change. A temporary and restricted monstrous change... It'll just be like a shikigami making a familiar [tsukaima]."

"A god [kami] making a demon [ma]? What kind of situation is this... It definitely has to be forbidden..."

"Didn't you say back in the bathroom that you were 'ready to take anything on'? Was that a lie? Did you lie to me?"

"I didn't realize that even a lie of that level was unforgivable in our relationship... I meant that I was ready to take anything on, as long as it doesn't anger Gaen-san, doesn't destroy the world, and doesn't dissolve my certification as harmless."

"If this little bear once belonged to sensei, then you could say it was simply 'left for safekeeping' outside of the territory. In other words, it should still have the makings of an oddity. I'm just going to accelerate that process. When you make a vaccine, you induce a virus to grow, right? It's like that."

"It sounds persuasive, but is that really the same?"

I've often read stories in suspense novels about a virus that grows out of control and destroys the human race...

"Even if this tiny little bear gets out of control, I'll be able to take it down in no time."

"Those are the words of the researcher that dies first..."

"Nothing but complaints, huh, oni onii-chan. You should have a little more faith in me. You've hired a specialist, so just leave it to me."

"Even if you tell me to leave it to you in that monotone of yours..."

She sure had guts to say something like that after those acts of violence in Room 333.

She definitely wasn't a specialist when it came to renovations.

"In the first place, creating oddities isn't even your specialty, right?"

"That's not true. Actually, there was a time when I used to live with a very skilled doll maker."

Teori Tadatsuru, huh... Well, even if the only corpse doll he made was Ononoki-chan, he'd certainly made lots of other dolls as well.

"If you absolutely can't trust me, then I don't mind throwing things over to Teori onii-chan?"

"That would be a problem. When it comes to relying on him, he's second to Kaiki in terms of how reluctant I am."

"Rather than reluctant, you just hate them, don't you? But it relieves me to know that even you have someone you hate, oni onii-chan... I'm not trying to cover for my creator, but considering I was the one to blow up Araragi Tsukihi—wouldn't you say there isn't much difference between relying on me and relying on Teori onii-chan, who kidnapped your two sisters and your junior?"

The difference is marginal—but as she said that, even if it was true, it was still a matter of feelings.

It was a contradiction that Ougi-chan had heavily criticized me for.

"That guy's still going after me and Shinobu, ignoring our harmless certification, as well as my sister, isn't he?"

"It's the same for me. I'm always thinking about killing all of you if I can get the chance."

"I hate Teori. I like Ononoki-chan. These feelings of mine will not change just because my life is threatened. I'll protect Shinobu and I'll protect Tsukihi, so that I can continue to like you, Ononoki-chan. All right, fine. I'll leave it to you. You're free to do as you like."

"How embarrassing."

You've given me more faith than I was expecting—said Ononoki-chan, hiding her face behind her hands. It was a cute gesture, but behind those hands, I knew she was as expressionless as ever.

In the end, it felt like I was taken in by Ononoki's smooth-talking, or rather, the cajolery of a specialist... However, as long as I didn't have a plan of my own, Ononoki-chan had carte blanche to do anything she wanted.

It was true that, if I couldn't count on her here, I shouldn't have relied on her in the first place. I didn't have any other choice, but right now, it wasn't like I didn't have another choice but to rely on Ononoki-chan this time.

This time, I chose, deliberately, to rely on her.

"So... What do you plan to do, specifically? Is it something we can do at this park? Or, if it's rituals, we can go to the Kitashirahebi Shrine..."

"Ah, yes, the well-known Kitashirahebi Shrine, where Nadekou writhed around in a school swimsuit."

"Don't make it sound like an indecent shrine."

"That place has already become spiritually cleansed, thanks to my all-around great efforts. It's no longer an air pocket or a hangout for bad things."

She was taking more credit than she should be, but that was certainly true... Plus, I had been the one who practically got in the way of those efforts.

"So it doesn't meet the requirements. Creating an oddity isn't just something you can do anywhere. You can't just go pon, pon, pon and pop out an oddity."

"I can only imagine you popping out an oddity like that, though... But, on the other hand, now that it's a shrine with a proper god, isn't it more suitable for ceremonies?"

"If that god finds out, we're doomed."

So you're trying to do something that will doom us after all... How about we don't do something that could get Hachikuji mad at us?

That's what I wanted to say, but after having expressed that level of trust, it was kind of hard to take it back, even as a man with no guiding principles... But, if we wanted to do it without Hachikuji finding out, then it probably wasn't a good idea to do it here in Shirohebi Park, either.

Or rather, it was a bad idea to continue this fruitless discussion here. Since this was where Hachikuji and I had first met, this park was practically her territory.

"Yes. We're going to use that concept of 'territory'."

"Mm. What? What do you mean?"

"If we assume that the abused doll and the clothes became oddities because Room 333 was sensei's territory, then turning this little bear into an oddity should also be done in her territory."

"...So we're going to return there? By this point, a commotion has to have started by now."

"Even if there wasn't a commotion, we shouldn't go back there. If you're making a vaccine, you wouldn't want to use a virus with the same potency as the actual virus."

Well, yeah.

Even the flu shot was made up of an extremely weak version of the virus, injected so our body could produce antibodies... Well, I heard that even a weakened virus could make you feel unwell, so we couldn't be too careful.

"In other words, territoriality... The best place would be somewhere with a less 'private' feeling than her home. Do you have any ideas, oni onii-chan?"

"Of course, that would be her workplace. What about the office where I first talked with Associate Professor Iesumi?"

"Her office is still a private office, right? That's still pretty high in terms of territoriality... I'd prefer a more communally used space, where other people might go. Like her favorite restaurant, or something."

"The university cafeteria... But I don't know if Associate Professor Iesumi ever ate there. In the first place, we shouldn't be doing this around other people, right?"

"I don't really mind if anyone sees, though? What's wrong with showing off our relationship?"

"Don't act like we're on a secret date. ...What about a lecture hall? The lecture hall where I take the associate professor's language course, that is."

"That would be too weak for territoriality. After all, there are a lot of other classes that go on, and isn't that more of the student's territory?"

That was how it was in university, huh... If it were a high school, I'm sure the classroom area would be fine as the homeroom teacher’s territory.

"Darn, I can't believe that the fact that I moved onto higher education would come back to bite me like this... If only I were still a Naoetsu High School student!"

"If you still were, then I bet nothing in particular would happen. You'd live a life where nothing happened, except for breaking up with Senjougahara Hitagi."

How harsh.

But, again and again, I deeply realized that I'd taken on a request from someone I knew absolutely nothing about... I couldn't think of any territory for Associate Professor Iesumi at all.

I guess it was because she was that kind of person that she was able to disappear without a trace, except for a single little bear left on the roof...

"That's for sure. Normally, no matter where you disappear to, you would usually go home at least once to prepare yourself. The fact that she disappeared directly from work makes me think that she must have been preparing this for a long time,"

said Ononoki-chan.

For her, it was just an offhand comment, possibly not even something she really believed, but those words made it click for me.

"Ononoki-chan! What did you just say!? No, before that!"

"You didn't even let me respond. What part? The fact that she disappeared directly for work?"

"No, before that—no, that was it. Sorry, sorry."

"You're just starting to sound like a guy that likes saying 'No, before that'. But what is it?"

"How about inside her car?"

I asked.

"If you close the door, it gives off a private feeling, and even though it's not a common place, she wouldn't be in it all the time, so it's not as territorial as her home or her office, right?"

"Mm... It's not bad, but I dunno. That would mean we'd have to go back to the apartment, but is that all right?"

It would certainly be bad if we went back.

On top of the tires of the cars in the parking lot all having been slashed, my New Beetle was also parked there, making it an unfavorable situation. I didn't think I wanted to return without wearing a mask of some sort.

However...

"If she disappeared directly from her office without returning home, then wouldn't Associate Professor Iesumi's car still be parked in the university parking lot?"

026

To make an unsubstantiated claim, as someone who didn't actually know Associate Professor Iesumi well, I didn't know if she commuted by car or not, and I didn't know if she left her car behind when she disappeared... If anything, if you think about it normally, you'd think a person would disappear using their car, if they owned one.

It was a very convenient vehicle, after all.

Thus, my previous statement was quite the careless statement, not backed up by anything.

However, if she wanted to completely erase her presence, instead of just simply disappearing, then driving a vehicle with license plates on the front and back was basically the same as traveling with a name tag.

Just like with her home, it felt like she would have left something like that alone, without getting her affairs in order... Maybe this line of attack had some merit to it?

I didn't expect things to go smoothly.

As long as we were expecting unpredictability, we were going to need an indiscriminate brute-force attack...

It seemed that, strangely enough, luck favored the kind of guy that liked to take detours without any plan in mind... The number of parking lots near Manase University was not small, including the one I usually used. Going through all of them would not be easy, no matter how mobile Ononoki-chan was—not only did we not know what kind of car Associate Professor Iesumi owned, we also didn't even know if it existed.

But, even so (because I was afraid that Hachikuji might find out if we kept lingering at Shirohebi Park), I figured we may as well get moving, and headed to the campus of Manase University in its summer break ("Unlimited Rulebook"—I'd taken off my frozen cap and jacket). And when we arrived, I realized something that I hadn't expected at all, but of course something like that existed.

In other words, the campus had a parking lot for staff use.

It was far from my usual travel route, and even if I had passed by it at one point, it might have left my awareness as an area that had nothing to do with me as a student... It wasn't that I didn't know everything—there was nothing but things I didn't know, this university that I attended.

Not to mention, since it was summer vacation, there weren't many cars parked in the parking lot, which was just a plain asphalt lot with orange lines painted onto it.

It was sparsely populated.

If it was like this, then we'd be able to conduct a full investigation in a limited amount of time, and, if we were so inclined, we wouldn't even need to go that far... That was because there was one car that stood out from the rest. A car with a distinctly different disposition [keiro].

Or rather, it just had a different color [iro]... Basically, it was a car that had become covered in dust and dirt. Like an abandoned automobile... Is this what happens to cars that are left uncovered for just a few days?

Just because the owner disappeared and left it alone... It looked like it was originally a pretty expensive car, too—a foreign car with the steering wheel on the left side.

"Feels like the car's been abused,"

said Ononoki-chan—it was some harsh criticism of the owner, but an excellent statement. Only a tool could express such a thing.

It seemed that the statement that "homes quickly fall into disrepair when people don't live in them" could be directly applied to automobiles, as well... It also happened to be favorable for the ritual that we were about to perform.

"No security cameras here. Good, good."

I was basically acting like a criminal by now, but the fact that this car was not parked in a contracted parking lot was really the luckiest thing... It was unknown if the bizarre phenomenon of the blanket puncturing tires in the apartment building's parking lot was captured on video, but if we were caught on video tinkering with this abandoned car, it would totally be vehicle burglary.

But we couldn't just dawdle around.

If the owner of the car was not found, the car would eventually be towed away... I wanted to hurry up. In the first place, bringing a tween girl to a university campus could easily attract attention on its own.

"Seems there's no dash cam installed, either. All right, all that's left is to hotwire the car."

"Don't talk about things you can't even do. The only thing you can do here, oni onii-chan, is keep watch."

The tween girl made me into her underling... Well, it was true that I couldn't possibly attempt to cooperate in the creation of an oddity.

"But how do you plan on getting inside? Ononoki-chan. For the record, I'm not going to let you break a window, okay?"

"What kind of ruffian do you think I am? I wouldn't do something like break a windowpane."

And with that, what the god of destruction broke was the lock to the trunk in the back of the car. While I was speechless, she slipped the little bear from my pocket.

"Then, see ya. Keep watch for about half an hour, will you? It's a job that only you can do, oni onii-chan. I'm counting on you."

She dexterously folded her body into the not-very-spacious luggage compartment and squeezed in like some girl that had been kidnapped, closing the lid from the inside.

I see, she didn't have to sit in the driver's seat or the passenger seat to perform the ritual... With the trunk lid closed like this, no one would be able to see what was going on from outside, so the choice of the trunk area was a pretty nice idea.

Even if there were no security cameras or dash cams, it took a certain amount of bravery to perform a questionable ritual in a car for half an hour—and for Ononoki-chan, the darkness inside the trunk was nothing to be feared.

I couldn't help but get curious about what sort of forbidden ritual was taking place inside the trunk to breathe life into that little bear (I could hear an odd wriggling sound—wriggling?)—but it was probably better for me not to know.

A careless guy like me...

I'd been told to keep watch so that nobody interfered with Ononoki-chan as she put her heart and soul into that little bear, but considering that a guy who wasn't even a staff member loitering around the staff parking lot was plenty suspicious, I almost thought it would be better if I joined Ononoki-chan in the trunk. The fact that she didn't give me the time to do so was probably because she didn't want me to learn anything unnecessary, on top of how already cramped it was in the trunk.

Despite all she said, she was a rather considerate tween girl... I guess she was leaving me out of the loop so that I didn't get cursed even more.

Certainly enough, the curses placed on me by my childhood friend were more than enough... Plus, she was the one that started this whole thing.

Oh, that lovely girl.

On the other hand, on the flip side, you could say that Ononoki-chan was just willing to take on that much risk—for a professional, it probably wasn't that big of a risk, but it still made me a bit anxious.

So that I wasn't just dragging my feet, I decided to at least act like an admirable student, industriously cleaning my professor's abandoned and dusty car—I didn't have any cleaning fluid or brushes, so I couldn't do much, but I could at least brush away the dirt with my hands. I even thought about using my ski cap as a towel, but decided against it, thinking it would be a bad idea to clean someone else's car with something that was once covered with drool.

As I did so, I could see the inside of the car through the window, but there was nothing unusual about it—no stickers or decorations on the seats... Also, there were no stuffed dolls from a crane game lined up in the back seat or anything like that, either.

Well, even if I were to break into this car, there wasn't any sort of fabric that could come and attack... No, wait, was it possible for the floor mats to come flying at me?

"......?"

There, my hands that were wiping the windows paused—partly because my hands were getting so dirty that they were no longer useful for cleaning, but also because I had a strange feeling about the interior of the car.

As mentioned before, there shouldn't have been any cause for concern inside the car, and yet my attention was drawn to something... Unlike the third bedroom where that father doll lay, it didn't give off the impression of being a set. It didn't feel like a car displayed at a car dealership... It had the feeling of being lived-in, the feeling of being used.

Then what part of the car was bothering me?

If only I were the kind of person that could get flashes of inspiration. Then life would be so much easier... Although something like that seemed more tiresome.

If only I had a button to give me a flash of inspiration.

In the first place, there weren't enough things inside the car to worry about... Maybe this was the kind of thing where I was not worried about something "being" there, but something "not being" there?

But, the steering wheel was there, the accelerator and the brake were there... The back mirror was there, the gear shift was there, the parking brake was there... Maybe something that wasn't so fundamental?

Was I just concerned about how the steering wheel was on the left side? But, my New Beetle also had its steering wheel on the left side, so I was actually pretty used to that—something my car had that this car didn't... Not only in the driver's seat, but also in the passenger seat—

"...Ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

I got it, I got it. When I figured it out, it was almost shameful... Honestly, I didn't want to describe it. But now that I'd made myself so obvious, I couldn't just keep my mouth shut about it, even if it might not have anything to do with the main topic.

It was the passenger seat—the child seat.

In my New Beetle, the passenger seat was equipped with a child seat for Shinobu's use, but this car just didn't have one—because both cars had steering wheels on the left side, I was able to feel that sense of discomfort.

Good grief, what was I doing, getting all preoccupied in the middle of more pressing issues? In terms of the mise-en-scène of a child seat, there were more cars that didn't have them than did... After all, if you didn't have children, it wasn't an essential element at all—if you didn't have children?

But Associate Professor Iesumi was a mother with a three-year-old daughter...

Hm? No, "Iie-chan", the three-year-old daughter, was actually the Iie-chan doll... But if Associate Professor Iesumi thought that the doll was "her own child", then...

The doll was the target of abuse, so she didn't provide it a child seat as part of the abuse? Well, that could be the case.

If it was locked up in a cage, then it wouldn't have had a chance to go out with her—but it wasn't locked up all the time, and there must have been a time "before the abuse"...

Besides, it was a legal obligation to install a child seat, right? I liked the way Shinobu squeezed in tightly into that small seat, so I set mine up without regard to the Road Traffic Act, but when I looked it up when I bought the car, it was mandatory to install a child seat when taking a child under the age of six into the car—by the way, Shinobu's outer appearance was that of an eight-year-old.

There were even those who thought that babies shouldn't even be put into cars for safety reasons... But not even I thought that we needed to be that much of a stickler. While we're on the subject of the law, child abuse was an unforgivable crime in the first place... However, when I remembered the "remnants of affection" I felt from the nursery, I wasn't sure if it made sense to remove and dispose of the child seat because she didn't think of Iie-chan (the doll?) as cute.

Associate Professor Iesumi's abuse came in the form of abandonment.

That's why the fruit knife stabbed in the back was a clear contradiction—then, shall we assume the child seat was removed by someone else? But I was pretty sure that child seats were treated as oversized garbage in most areas... It was obvious that getting rid of one would be troublesome.

I'd been regretting becoming aware of this, but that regret was quickly changing into a different kind of regret... I had a feeling that if I continued to think about this, the end goal would be good for nothing.

Earlier, I'd wanted a button for a flash of inspiration, but now I wanted a button to undo it—such a self-centered wish would normally not get fulfilled, but it seemed luck was on my side here as well.

If I hadn't used up all my luck yet, I would have preferred it take my side in a different scene than this one... Anyway, my thoughts, which I couldn't stop on my own, were interrupted by an external impetus.

When I noticed, it turned out that much time had passed, as Ononoki-chan said, "Thanks for waiting, oni onii-chan," and crawled out of the trunk.

"Rejoice, for the ritual has succeeded. Look."

But even if she told me to look.

The result was not exactly something I could rejoice over—when looking at the little bear doll standing atop Ononoki-chan's hand, and when looking at Ononoki-chan's face half an hour later.

This was the first time a change occurred in Ononoki-chan's face, which had always been expressionless—I wanted to opt for a description that was as appropriate as possible, but the more I twisted it, the more disturbing it became. So, to say it outright.

Ononoki-chan's right eye had been gouged out—turned into a hollow cavity. And.

In the face of the little bear doll wriggling atop her hand, her right eye had been implanted.

027

Thrall-making. Familiar.

The process of embedding a part of your own body into a doll to make it an alter ego—simply put, that's all it was, but it was still frightening.

Fear [kyoufu] prevailed over amazement [kyoutan].

Rather than devoting one's heart and soul [shinketsu], it was more like devoting one's flesh and blood [ketsuniku].

Since her design was that of a tween girl, I never thought that Ononoki-chan's appearance was scary, but now that she was speaking to me with one eye hollowed out yet still expressionless as ever, it was kind of horrifying.

It was both expressionless and not expressionless at the same time.

Although, it was probably more normal to be afraid of the little bear doll that was moving bizarrely like a marionette in Ononoki-chan's palm... No, don't get confused. A little bear doll with an eyeball embedded in it was plenty scary.

It was scary enough that I could even faint right here.

I'd noticed that the little bear doll had been old and both eyes were missing, but I didn't expect Ononoki-chan would try to "repair" the missing parts in such a way...

She'd created a bug-eyed monster, hadn't she.

"A-at this point, we really won't be able to make an anime out of this... Of course I wouldn't be able to participate in the ritual."

"Weren't you an eyeball fanatic, oni onii-chan? You're pretending to be scared, but really, your heart's skipping a beat at this eye socket, isn't it?"

"Don't try to push a preference worse than lolicon onto me. Eh? Did it really have to be an eyeball? Isn't it normal to use something like hair for making an alter ego?"

"Well, I'm not Sun Wukong. That would have been fine, too, but the centerpiece [medama] of this mission was to have the familiar guide us, so I figured using an eyeball [medama] was a good idea."

"That's not a funny joke. What makes you think you can get a laugh out of me right now?"

"Your viewpoint."

"It wasn't my viewpoint that was wrong. It's my judgment [megane]. It was a terrible misjudgment to leave this to you."

"'The eyes, huh [me ga nee]', you say? Well, that's what you get from just five thousand yen."

I'd thought for sure that it was a clever line, but it turned out she was cutting corners because of her fees... It was hard to come across a buyer's remorse as bad as this. As for "the eyes, huh," she was skimping on even the gags.

Well, in terms of pupils, I suppose holes were naturally a part of eyes...

"Damn, if it was going to be like this, I should've crowdfunded one yen from every person in Japan and paid one hundred million yen..."

"Don't talk about elementary school fantasies as if they're modern management techniques."

"But... Ononoki-chan, putting aside gags [gyagu] and fees [gyara], are you really okay? With that eye socket. Is that something you can fix later?"

"I don't need your concern. I'm a corpse, after all. This level of damage doesn't even hurt or itch. Feel free to shower me with thunderous applause. Or you can just rain down kisses upon this eye socket."

"Don't try to test my affections."

"Not to mention, I've been in a worse state when I played around with Nadekou."

"Really, what the hell are you doing with Sengoku?"

"It'll go back to normal if I put it back. In the worst-case scenario, if it doesn't go back, I can just become an eyepatch character."

"Don't try to change your character after all this time! You're already decked out just as you are, Ononoki-chan!"

"It's nice to hear that, but don't think that what you see now is all of me. I had an eyepatch during the war, you see."

"At the Battle of Waterloo?"

"Non. During the Ononoki War."

"There was a war with your name on it!?"

They probably wouldn't teach that in history class.

If it wasn't an irreversible change, then it made me a little relieved, but from now on, I had to make sure I didn't make any careless requests to Ononoki-chan.

She wasn't afraid to hurt herself.

I'd totally forgotten about what I was thinking about... Something about a seat? Or a sheet? Maybe a cooling sheet? I certainly wanted to cool myself down.

Well, to take my eyes off of Ononoki-chan for a second... Not as a gag—literally, take my eyes off of Ononoki-chan.

And look at the little bear doll that was infused with a soul through a horrible, squirming ritual.

Rather than a familiar, it felt more like some sort of talisman... Huh? At some point, it disappeared from Ononoki-chan's hand?

When I looked, I saw that the little bear doll with the eyeball had jumped off while we were fiercely clashing, and that it had begun lumbering along the lines atop the asphalt of the parking lot... It looked like it was about to fall over, and when I thought it would, it held its head high and regained its balance.

Even its movements were frightening...

It felt like some new life form that human arrogance created from scratch through genetic experimentation... Of course making something like this would be forbidden. I would have to accept whatever punishment Gaen-san threw my way... Whoa, it came this way.

"Shall we give it a name? I might even get attached to it. This is something I just thought of, but how about Koyomi?"

"You should at least give it a name related to Associate Professor Iesumi, or even a name related to yourself."

"You sure are noisy, Koyomi #2."

"I'm #2?"

"Make way for Koyomi, Koyomi #2. Otherwise I'll demote you to #3. The navigation has already begun."

Huh... So it wasn't just wandering aimlessly, but already trying to return to its original owner...

At first I wasn't sure if it would work, but if the flying blanket was headed to Associate Professor Iesumi for revenge on its abuse, then it wouldn't be strange if this little bear doll had the same latent directionality... Rather, this doll was the only one here that was doing its job as instructed.

Look what Ononoki-chan and I have become.

"But isn't it bad that it's going so smoothly? I mean, it's a little bear doll with an eyeball, walking around in public where anyone can see."

"It's going smoothly, so we can gouge out some eyes for the trivial stuff."

"Gouge out some eyes for the trivial stuff!? You mean turn our eyes away from the trivial stuff, right?"

"I'll gouge out the eyes of anyone who sees it."

"I can't turn my eyes away from that. I'm going to tell Kagenui-san."

"It's something onee-chan often says, though. Come on, oni onii-chan, don't be silly. Just pretend you're Geppetto."

"You're assigning me one of the hardest acts of all... So basically, I have to act like I'm controlling a marionette with piano wire, right?"

"That's right. The setting is that we're both new members of a circus club. I skipped a grade, and my specialty is riding the trapeze."

"If you're going to pay that much attention to the setting, you should've planned things out a little more carefully from the beginning. We're being way too haphazard."

"Speaking of haphazard, here. I found some mineral water in the trunk. I guess it's for emergencies in case of a disaster, but the fact that it's carbonated water does feel like a sensei from Europe. Hold onto it."

"? I'm not really thirsty, though?"

"Pour it on the bear if it starts going wild."

She was pretty hard on it after giving it a name, especially my name... She wasn't getting attached to it at all.

"Even if we do successfully find her, I'll feel morally responsible if the bear ends up finishing off that intellectual sensei."

"You wouldn't just be morally responsible, you'd be completely responsible!"

Once again, I realized how forbidden this all really was.

Although it already looked that way from the bear doll's wobbly movements.

Originally, with the size of the little bear doll being what it was, it wasn't exactly designed to be able to stand upright, let alone walk, and the eyeball attached to its head made its balance even worse...

"Employing a familiar is kind of like taking care of an animal. It's the owner's responsibility to take care of it, up to the point of killing it, right?"

"For a moment, I thought you were going to give me a lecture on taking responsibility for life or something, so I was going 'ugh' in my head, but Ononoki-chan, that's not quite right."

But true, "the weakness being water" was something I'd figured out a little while ago... So this familiar was no exception.

But this weakness didn't seem to matter to Ononoki-chan, who opened the lid of her own plastic bottle and gulped down the water—she must've gotten tired out from the ritual.

"Pwaah. Well, it's not chilly at all. Lukewarm carbonated water sure is peculiar."

"Well, it was in the trunk after all... Ononoki-chan, I thought about this when you blew away that father doll, but you're pretty cold to dolls despite being a doll, huh."

"Are you saying I'm the one who's chilly? But I'm not chilly [hieteinai], and I wouldn't say that [ieteinai]. It's not despite being a doll, but because I'm a doll. I don't even have normal empathy. No naive feelings of hating something similar to me. Did I act in a way that made you misunderstand? A doll is a doll. Isn't empathizing with dolls the domain of humans? For oni onii-chan, and for the intellectual sensei."

"......"

I was flustered just by the sight of Ononoki-chan's eye socket, so it was hard to argue back. Empathy, huh...

"Are those thoughts what causes doll oddities to be formed?"

"Who knows. I don't think onee-chan and the others put that much thought into bringing me back to life—come on, if you don't keep up, we'll lose track of the bear."

"Ah."

I had thought it was just wandering around aimlessly, but I realized that the eyeball-attached little bear doll was slowly tottering forward, as if in a game of "Red Light, Green Light"... There was no way it could've made it that far at the speed it was waddling, but was it speeding up whenever I didn't have my eyes on it?

But, if it wasn't going to move at that speed, then the sun was definitely going to set on us... Especially since its stride was short, and it didn't seem to be able to fly like the Iie-chan doll.

"Right, I kept its functionality to a minimum. Like I said, it's a weakened version of the virus. You don't want it to go out of control or make more companions, right? It doesn't have any will or any feelings. If you want to think of it like this, it's basically a radio-controlled car."

"Then, instead of just following behind it, we should try to keep figuring out where Associate Professor Iesumi disappeared to."

It was better to think of it like a compass, not a state-of-the-art navigation system... The theory that it began to maneuver at high speeds when we looked away was intriguing, but we wouldn't be able to recover if we inadvertently let it run off into the wild.

Hm... Huh?

But, where was it going?

If it went that way, it would run into the school building... Was its intelligence suppressed to the point that it couldn't even avoid walls? In that case, it was a bit pitiful, but when I thought about how this sort of compassion was what put the world in danger, I suffered from a dilemma that I didn't need to suffer from—and then.

At that point, my cell phone rang.

I received a message. Actually, two messages, at almost the exact same time.

Holding the plastic bottle in my other hand, I pulled out my cell phone and checked the senders of the text messages, making sure not to take my eyes off of the eyeball-attached little bear doll.

It seemed there was good news and bad news—in other words, the senders of the two messages were Hamukai Meniko and Araragi Tsukihi.

When I checked the bad news (in other words, the message from Tsukihi), the star-laden message said that the hike ended with no bodies being found, so she really was going to go visit Nadeko-chan's house now, because she didn't want to lie to her best friend.

Sengoku.

I had nothing but apologies to offer you.

And now for the good news—no, based on the content, maybe I should classify this as bad news as well.

"Araragi-chan~ I finished deciphering that thing you sent me~ Sorry it took me so long~ Full text below~"

Even in text, her usual lax attitude came through. But below that, the message read,

"(* It contains some grotesque expressions, so prepare yourself~)"

I couldn't help but think that the line of text was unusually unsettling for Meniko.

"......"

"What's the matter? Oni onii-chan. Did you get some kind of weird text?"

In response to Ononoki-chan's natural question that arose when I suddenly stopped in my tracks...

"It's a testament,"

I responded frankly.

"What arrived was sensei's testament."

"? 'An'ya Kokoro'?"

028

"To Araragi-kun.

"I'm leaving you this letter with peace of mind because I don't think you, my proud student, have the language skills to be able to translate it.

"Now, where should I start? There's so much to talk about, though.

"How exciting.

"But don't take it too seriously.

"After all, my life has been full of lies. I've somehow managed to cheat and deceive my way through life, pretending that it was all real.

"I have no idea what it feels like to be up front about my true feelings. Isn't opening your mouth to speak basically the same as lying?

"Just kidding. Even a claim like this, I'm not really serious about—I just thought it would be a good way to start this letter. It may as well be sleep talk.

"I'm pretty good at sleeping, you see. That's the truth.

"I've spent my whole life sleeping, and I've spent my whole life dead—rather, I was never even alive.

"Because I'm a doll.

"Yes... I suppose I should begin there. If I'm going to confess.

"Araragi-kun, I've lied a lot to you in the short time we've known each other, so in order for you to forgive me, I want you to be able to sympathize with me first.

"I want you to consider the extenuating circumstances.

"I'm pathetic and pitiful, so I absolutely need for you to think that you'll forgive me... Well, I never actually considered it in that way, but maybe you'd be more easily convinced if I said it like that.

"You'd rather not think that you were tricked and taken advantage of by a crazy adult, right? It doesn't sound very convincing to say it here, but I want children to be able to believe in adults.

"'I don't want you to become like me.' It's an old and oft-repeated line, but I wished that someone would have told me the opposite.

"'Become like me. Life is fun.'

"I wanted to meet an adult that would say that to me... Oops, don't worry. That doesn't mean I'm going to say that you should become happy in my place.

"There's no need to worry about that.

"Araragi-kun, I'm sure what you care about the most is 'why I chose you', and the rest may not matter at all to you, but I'd like to put on airs and save that answer for the end.

"I'll save the fun for the very end.

"Because, while it probably isn't a fun answer for you, I want you to read to the very end.

"One thing I will say, though, is that Oikura-san really isn’t involved... Please understand that it's not her fault.

"Please be gentle to her.

"Now, it's time for class to begin. Enjoy."

029

"The person I respect is my father, and the person I respect is my mother.

"I have to say, it's those college seniors on the job hunt that can answer the interviewer's questions with those words that I truly respect and love.

"That I hold in high esteem.

"Somewhere inside me, I have the feeling that familial love is a wonderful thing. But, you see, it was only inside me.

"It wasn't in the house.

"And it wasn't in the cage.

"We talked about something like the cycle of abuse, right? You know, where you aren't able to love your children because your parents didn't love you... But, in that sense, my parents were fine people.

"They were a fine pair.

"They got their dream jobs, were active in a foreign country, and even obtained citizenship there... I believe they were respected and loved even by the people around them.

"They were a fine pair, and it was just that that pair couldn't become a fine trio.

"Daddy was a pediatrician, and Mommy was a fashion designer for children's clothes... I'd never really thought about it in this way, but in a way, they were both specialists of children.

"Specialists.

"And I think they were good at it. Daddy didn't let me die, and Mommy used to make clothes for me all the time.

"Hagoromo is a pretty unusual name for my generation, don't you think? It's a name that Mommy gave to me. Meaning 'a robe of feathers'.

"The legend of the hagoromo.

"I can go on and on about how they came to Switzerland, how they achieved success there, or perhaps even the romantic tale of how they met, but, yeah, I'll stop here.

"I don't feel like bragging about my parents. I wouldn't do something so embarrassing. For reasons beyond just embarrassment.

"But, well, when I look back on myself, it's like I've done similar things, in a similar position, right?

"I wonder if they've been through something terrible, too. I wonder if that's why they gave me such a hard time.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

"There's a saying like that, right?

"There's also a saying that goes, 'The child is father to the man'—I'll quote this saying again later, so remember it.

"Because I want you to warn me if I forget to do so.

"I said that it was time for class to begin, and I'm starting to use the same tone of voice as in my lectures out of habit, but, well, I'm not really qualified to teach... I say 'habit [kuse]' but it's really despite [kuse ni] being me. I said it as a metaphor, but at the same time, it means exactly what it sounds like.

"If I'd been an honest person, I wouldn't have been able to work at a national university. Even if you don't manage to decipher this letter, Araragi-kun, I'm sure someone will eventually find out. That I was a fake teacher.

"Don't get me wrong. My parents definitely loved me. Thinking like this could be a form of Stockholm Syndrome, and you might criticize me for being complicit in my parents' actions, but still, even if it was a bit warped, I would say that was still love.

"Although the idea that parents will always be parents to their children, even if they are abused, makes me sick.

"At the very least, even though I had never attended any kind of school, not even for a day, I was still provided enough education to be able to teach at a foreign university. Although it's a bit ironic to think that my longing for school was what made me a university professor.

"They did love me.

"But, they didn't pay me any respect.

"Do you get it? In other words, they didn't treat me like a human being.

"They treated me like a doll.

"They took care of me like a toy.

"I was a teddy bear to those two.

"Bears are cute, aren't they? I wonder why they're so cute?

"But, it's only the children that are cute.

"Adult bears are scary. You can't call them with '-chan'. You end up wanting to use 'sir' or 'madam'.

"I'd like to say that only pandas are cute even when they grow up... But even pandas are cuter as children.

"Have you ever been told that, Araragi-kun? 'You used to be so cute as a child.' Well, children don't grow up the way parents want them to. Like how characters move on their own in the culture of Cool Japan, I guess?

"Anyway, about my parents.

"About my home. About my cage.

"I was their little teddy bear... and they didn't want their little bear to grow up so quickly. They really, really didn't want it—they wanted me to stay their adorable little baby forever.

"So.

"They stopped raising me."

030

"First, they threw me into a handmade cage. They carefully transferred me from a crib to a cage.

"You know how they say you shouldn't keep a goldfish in a large tank? Because they'll grow to the size of the tank.

"If you want to keep the goldfish small, you shouldn't keep it in a tank that's any bigger... Well, I figure it's more like an urban legend, but that's what they did.

"As specialists. As parents.

"To their own child.

"They imprisoned me in a meticulously calculated cage—not because the baby would move around and mess up the house, not because it was troublesome if the baby followed them around—but because they didn't want me to grow taller or gain more weight than the length, width, and height of the iron fence.

"It was an act filled with love.

"It was an act filled with hope.

"'I hope that Hagoromo-chan stays small forever.'

"'Please stay cute forever, Hagoromo-chan.'

"I don't really remember what it was like as a baby, but I surely had to have cried out because of such discomfort.

"It would have been a high-pitched scream.

"But it's a baby's job to cry.

"So as they watched me cry, they considered me the most lovely little thing—the abuse against me did not even involve discipline.

"They were trying to spoil me.

"It really makes you think, doesn't it?

"What kind of upbringing did they have to have to become parents like that... Would it be comical to say that I wanted to see their parents' faces?

"There should be four of my grandparents here in this country, but I don't think I want to meet them... They're probably not even alive.

"Well, if you've been trapped in a place for as long as you can remember, you'll end up thinking it's completely normal.

"At some point, I stopped crying.

"Because crying was a waste of water.

"Water was important. For the sake of staying alive. The only effort I could make of my own volition to stay alive was to 'not cry'.

"So, after being trapped like a foie gras goose, unable to move, I was constantly stuffed with food, just like a foie gras goose—but of course you don't think that, right?

"In fact, it was the opposite. I'm sure you can imagine.

"Daddy and Mommy didn't even try to nourish me. Because, if I did, I might grow.

"Breast milk was a no-no.

"I know I said I didn't remember anything from when I was a baby, but I can vaguely remember my mom in the kitchen, milking her own breasts and throwing away all the nutrients I needed to grow.

"I get that feeling. It could just be a false memory. Maybe, because it was a waste, she gave it to Daddy to drink. Sorry, that was an adult joke.

"All I drank was just water.

"But I wasn't badmouthing it by calling it 'just water'... After all, it was how I maintained my transient life.

"Just a transient life.

"But, since water was all I had to drink, you can pretty much guess what my food was like, right? Do you think you can answer correctly if I gave it as a quiz? It's a question that ninety-seven percent of babies can get right.

"At the very least, there was no need to wean me off of milk onto baby food. I didn't need to be weaned, because I wasn't even drinking milk in the first place.

"Basically, I was given nothing to eat.

"If you don't eat, you don't gain weight. Maybe I should put out a book called 'The No-Eating Diet'.

"How should I put it? I felt like I was almost dried out. Like a flimsy mummy that was nothing but skin and bones—like tanned leather. So it was like water brought me back to life.

"But it wasn't like that water was unlimited. So it was normal for me to not eat or drink... But, maybe once every three days, once every five days, once every week, once every month, I was given some fruit to eat.

"An apple, a pear, a banana, a tangerine, a melon, an avocado, or a durian.

"Daddy used a fruit knife to peel it and cut it to the size of my mouth. My mouth was small, after all. Like a puckered-up mouth, I guess? My teeth weren't coming in at all.

"Were you thinking that I was being fed something surprisingly nutritious?

"Indeed.

"Although, all I was fed was the peel. The apple, the pear, the banana, the tangerine, the melon, the avocado—the peel of those fruits.

"Being in a state where I was like tanned [namesareta] leather, all I did was lick [nameru] the peel that I'd been given.

"Doesn’t it sound like a tongue-twister?

"They say that the flavor of the fruit is concentrated near the skin, but I wonder if that's really true? At the very least, with that being all I ate, my limbs didn't grow very quickly.

"Mommy and Daddy's wish had been completely fulfilled.

"They made their dreams come true.

"I had become a baby that didn't grow.

"I kept the weight I had when I was a newborn.

"Of course, I was chronically undernourished, which made me prone to illness, and I suppose I was more of a handful than most babies. Daddy was basically constantly at home, giving me treatment...

"Mommy turned me into her dress-up doll.

"She made tons of clothes for me. Clothes filled with love. I was like a mannequin... I was immobile, after all. I could move even less than a mannequin. I was capable of wriggling around in the cage, but I didn't want to waste my energy on something so pointless.

"You'd be on the right track if you said I was playing at being a statue.

"Have you ever felt like you might die just because you turned over in your sleep? It's thrilling and addictive.

"And since I was such a frail person, putting on Mommy's clothes was draining... The clothes must have weighed more than I did.

"Well, my name is Hagoromo, after all.

"It wouldn't be strange if I was light enough to fly... By the way, what kind of story is the legend of the hagoromo, again?

"A man found a heavenly maiden bathing in a lake in the forest, stole her robe of feathers hanging on a tree branch, and forced her to marry him if she wanted it back?

"Amazing. There's nothing but crimes there.

"I can't help but wonder if there was a baby born between the heavenly maiden and the voyeuristic, larcenous, and blackmailing man. I don't know how it ends, but I sincerely hope it's not, 'And so the family lived happily ever after.'

"Anyway, I grew up just like the name my parents gave me... A life like cloth, flimsy and light.

"To sum it all up.

"In a cage in the corner of the room, I survived as the doll of a baby, never growing up—for over twenty years."

031

"I reached adulthood while still a baby.

"To be honest, I'm surprised I didn't die. To think that I was a baby for longer than you've been alive, Araragi-kun—it's hard to believe.

"Sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream... And I want to wonder if I had actually been raised warmly in a happy family.

"By the way, although I said I'd reached adulthood, the age of adulthood is different in Switzerland compared to Japan. Moreover, I'm pretty sure they never filed a birth registration, so I surely wasn't even recognized as a person.

"At the very least, my neighbors hadn't been aware of my existence... Apparently, there are countries in which it's a crime if you don't report hearing a child's cries, but as mentioned before, I was an abused child who didn't cry.

"Daddy and Mommy. Their abuse was most likely made possible due to their strong bond and their cooperative attitude.

"However, it seems their opinions clashed when it came to how they wanted to educate me—and, as a result, it saved my life.

"But it was only as a result. The process involved me getting stabbed in the back, you see...

"Daddy wanted to make me a child prodigy.

"Mommy wanted me to remain as a fool.

"In other words, Daddy wanted me to be cute on the outside and smart on the inside, but Mommy wanted me to stay a baby on the inside as well... In reality, it wasn't so simply divided, and both of them probably had mixed feelings, but the basic attitude was that Mommy kept talking to me in baby talk, while Daddy tried to teach me the four languages of Switzerland.

"He was a doctor, so did he have a belief in education? Or maybe he was just infatuated with the baby genius archetype... The only exception to that strict 'no growth' policy was 'education'. Behind Mommy's back, that is.

"That 'education' eventually led me to my current job, but before that, one of the few things I'd been given was the ability to speak, which was what saved me. I'm sure that wasn't Daddy's intention, but children don't grow up the way parents want them to.

"No matter how much I suffered from malnutrition, I wasn't just in a daze for twenty years. No matter how much I thought being in a cage was completely natural, if I devoted myself to reading the example sentences for language-learning, I would end up learning what was outside the cage.

"There were even hints from listening to my parents' conversations... If I could understand the language, I could talk. And if I could talk, I could converse. And if I could converse, then I could persuade.

"I set my sights on Daddy.

"Thinking about it, I was a terrible daughter, to try and drive a wedge between her parents... But if their cooperation was the key to their success in concealing my abuse, then I had no choice but to destroy that partnership.

"I didn't think I could stop their abuse.

"But I did think I could make it end—it was about when I was a fifteen-year-old baby, or perhaps a little later. I began to beg my dad.

"'Please kill me,' I said.

"...I wasn't being serious. I was just trying to appeal to his conscience.

"Well, that's just what I'd like to say, but I probably was being serious. There was no doubt that I felt that I wanted Daddy to kill me if possible. That feeling was probably stronger.

"'If you love me, then kill me.'

"'Use that fruit knife to stab me.'

"'I don't want to be alive. I want to die.'

"Whenever Mommy wasn't around, I kept trying to appeal to Daddy... The process of persuasion wasn't very easy, and it took quite a long time, and I couldn't even say it was successful.

"But, about five years after I'd begun to say that.

"Daddy finally stabbed me in the back.

"His love was real.

032

"However, I didn't manage to die there.

"In fact, the one who died was Daddy.

"After discovering me with a fruit knife stuck in my back, Mommy became frantic and stabbed Daddy in the face, and so he died tragically.

"And after that, Mommy disappeared... Or should I say she fled? Since she concealed herself after killing her partner.

"Though I failed to get killed, I guess you could say I succeeded in destroying the bond between my parents... And so, staff members at Mommy and Daddy's workplaces visited the house, concerned about the two of them not showing up for work, and discovered Daddy's dead body.

"They also discovered me, on the verge of death... Well, I had always been a baby on the verge of death, but now, with a fruit knife stabbed in my back, it was a 'verge of death' easy for even a beginner to understand.

"For what it's worth, the only reason I survived was because of my malnutrition... Daddy, being a doctor, apparently aimed precisely for my heart, but apparently my heart was thinner than a normal baby's? It was teeny? So the blade of the fruit knife didn't even graze it.

"I wonder if it was good luck.

"I suppose the fact that it was from behind was another factor in his failure. If Daddy had had the guts to face me from the front, it surely would have been fulfilled.

"Both his aim and my desire.

"This isn't about the legend of the hagoromo, but since nobody knew the two of them had a baby, there was a huge uproar—or not.

"I was unconscious and in critical condition, and they couldn't get a read on the situation externally. They were also afraid that it would have too much of a negative impact on the public, so they kept it from reaching the news. Nowadays, it would be easy for that information to reach the Internet somehow, but back then, computers were not as common.

"Yes, that's how long ago it happened. If I were to be more specific, it would reveal my true age, so...

"And just like that, I was admitted to the hospital and placed on absolute bed rest—not just because I was stabbed, but because I was so skinny and tiny that they had no idea how I was still alive.

"Finally, some peace for me, who’d been peaceful nor quiet.

"From there, my life finally began. The life of a baby doll, who was far behind in the race—about twenty laps behind. And even though I wouldn't be able to catch up no matter how I struggled, my life still began.

"Days of nutritional intake and rehabilitation.

"It wasn't easy, but it was a lot more luxurious than being stuck in a cage and not being able to move. I wondered if it was okay to feel like I was slacking off so much every day.

"I'm truly grateful to everyone at the hospital that took care of me... Seriously, I even wanted to stay at the hospital permanently.

"It was probably the first time I'd ever met anyone besides Daddy and Mommy, but I wasn't a shy baby. And frankly, I wasn't in a position where I could care about the other person's personality or appearance.

"But, you see.

"Saying that I felt like I was slacking off was about ninety percent bluffing, but the reason I was able to press forward without getting discouraged was because I felt, 'I had to leave the hospital as soon as possible'—why, you ask?

"Well, that's because even though Daddy, who had failed to kill me, was killed—Mommy, who was the one to kill him, was still alive.

"So I had to escape.

"I had to run away from the runaway.

"I thought that Mommy would lock me up in a cage again... Or maybe she'd scold me for going against her love and growing up in a medical facility.

"It may sound strange, but I was more afraid of being scolded than being killed. After all, my mental age was that of a 'twenty-year-old baby'.

"If I thought about it calmly, I would have realized that there was no way Mommy, wanted for the murder of her husband, would come to me just because she knew I was alive. But it's hard to think calmly, isn't it.

"But maybe I was in more danger than I thought.

"Maybe the reason they never publicized Mommy's murder of Daddy and my survival was for my protection.

"A privacy policy that guarded you from your guardians was a theory a bit hard to accept... At any rate, I did my best to grow up in order to escape from Mommy.

"I kept thinking of places to escape to.

"At the very least, I had decided to leave Europe, but in the end I chose Japan because that's where Daddy and Mommy were from.

"It wasn't nostalgia.

"Having listened to their conversations, it seemed they'd either left their home countries because they couldn't stay there, or because they were sick of it. I figured that no matter where in the world Mommy escaped to, she wouldn't show up in Japan.

"...Although, if I were thinking calmly, I would realize it was shallow thinking.

"After all, because she'd run away from her home country in such a way, it was possible she'd make it her last resort.

"To be honest, I start to doubt myself. Maybe I really wanted to see Mommy again, and lay in wait in Japan, hoping that she'd come back to her home country?

"After failing to get killed by Daddy, did I want Mommy to kill me this time—or did I want to get revenge on her?

"Did I think that my life would truly be able to begin if that happened? Since I continued to write over my thoughts, I can't say for sure what my mental state was at the time.

"In the end, my true feelings remain a mystery, but I decided to go to Japan as if I'd been led there. After I was discovered, I had naturally been granted Swiss citizenship, but I had no intention of coming back and decided to obtain a visa to become a permanent resident in Japan.

"For that reason, I got married.

"Marrying for the sake of residency might sound like a sham marriage, but that wasn't what I did. What I did was much worse.

"Instead of a pretense, it was forgery.

"I picked out a man who met the requirements and submitted a marriage certificate with his name on it to the municipal office—there were various requirements that needed to be met, but in short, he needed to live in an environment where 'he wouldn't notice if someone registered his marriage without permission'.

"It wasn't an easy requirement, and it took a lot of investigation and research. In fact, I was almost caught several times and was forced to withdraw from my plans. But in the end, I was able to manage a man with the last name 'Iesumi' and successfully obtained the qualifications.

"Although it was a felony.

"Compared to that, falsifying my work history to sneak into a national university as a professor is almost cute.

"There's nothing you can't do if you're desperate, even if it's a crime.

"Of course, even my age was fraudulent. As stated above.

"It wasn't just making myself look younger for a career.

"Beyond that, all I did was lie. Since the lies began from my name, I had to lie in every aspect of my life. To live in this country, to live a normal life.

"After having lived in a cage, my second life had me enclosed in lies—I was living in a cage of lies.

"Honestly, I still don't feel like I'm alive.

"Sometimes I come to my senses and think, 'What in the world am I doing?' I wonder if this is what it feels like to be 'alive'.

"Or is this how it feels to be 'dying'?

"The meaning was uncertain. My life-death status was uncertain.

"At least I had been sincere when I was in the cage, interacting with Daddy, trying to get him to kill me.

"Those are my true colors. That's my true form.

"The true form of Associate Professor Iesumi, the professor you took classes from for half a year and then accepted a request from—but there was no true form in the first place.

"I was nothing but an illusion."

033

"I'm sure you've had the chance to look around the room, but no need to worry about that whole playing house. Although, I guess it's useless to say that now.

"But I'm sure you've figured it out by now. That was like a reenactment of my upbringing.

"Don't worry.

"I never once thought of 'that' as my real daughter, or even as a human being.

"I'm sure you're thinking of it as creepy, scary, or unsettling, but it was more or less the result of trial and error.

"Or a failure of trial and error...

"It was inevitable because of the paperwork, but I had to act like a married person, after all—I rented a family apartment and tried to simulate a typical Japanese family.

"At least, I tried... But the results weren't very good. All I ended up simulating was my past.

"I was just playing house, but it didn't go very well.

"I can even say that my parents did much better than I did. I didn't even last three years, let alone twenty.

"I created that 'daughter' with the intention of loving it properly, but in just two years, I couldn't love it at all.

"I stopped thinking of it as cute.

"As the size of the doll became less and less like a baby... I could no longer watch over its 'growth'. After a while, all I could think was, 'She used to be so cute'.

"Were Daddy and Mommy right?

"Were children cuter when they didn't grow up?

"And... Araragi-kun, did you look in the next room properly? Did you find 'my estranged husband'?

"It's no good if you overlooked it. In the future, you have to do more than what you are told.

"I'll confess that that was also, of course, my handiwork. As well as the recreation of the murder scene. Although the setting was not as elaborate as my daughter's room. I have to say, I'm not too happy with the way it turned out.

"On top of my 'daughter', I couldn't bring myself to love my 'husband'... Well, of course. Daddy almost killed me, and Mommy killing Daddy was basically my fault, so perhaps, towards the living thing called a 'father', I had... What was it called again? Something-or-other.

"Right, that. Trauma. PTSD.

"Well, in my case, it wasn't psychological trauma, but the usual, physical, trauma.

"With that in mind, perhaps what I was doing was not playing house or recreating the crime scene, but something like sandplay therapy?

"Though I wish I hadn't done it.

"I ended up starting to hate going home—that said, Araragi-kun, I didn't send you to my place because I wanted you to clean up my broken home.

"A teacher that forces a student to clean their house would get in big trouble.

"That wasn't it. I was trying to get you to report it. I wanted you to be an eyewitness. In other words, it was evidence.

"The kind of information only the real culprit could know.

"Combined with this letter, it should be enough evidence... I'm sorry for being so mean in the beginning. Even though I provoked you so much, the truth is that I don't think you won't be able to decipher this letter, Araragi-kun.

"There are plenty of good translation apps out there.

"I just wanted to buy some time. Until I could get away to a safe place—after that, I wouldn't mind having you publicize the letter.

"I'm not running away because I was caught abusing my daughter, and I'm not running away because I was caught abusing a handmade doll. It's not something so dramatic.

"Shamefully, it seemed that it would end up being found out—the series of frauds I committed, starting with the false marriage. While doing my usual self-check as a routine part of my lifestyle, I found some mistakes I couldn't recover from. Laws and management systems had changed before my very eyes.

"The trend of allowing foreign workers to live in Japan permanently is something that I truly appreciate, but for me, it's a few decades too late... Rather, it's that change in the wind that led to my crimes being exposed.

"I won't complain, though. It's a good thing, after all.

"I thought I had successfully exploited a loophole in the rules, but in the end, committing wrongdoings was bad. If I were to be found out, I'd get arrested. That's why I ran away.

"I hate to say this because it sounds like a joke, but I don't want to be confined in a cage anymore.

"I don't want to be deported back to my birthplace, where Mommy is probably still hiding, and most of all, I don't want to go back to being me.

"I don't want to give up the persona of Iesumi Hagoromo that I raised... Though I'm sure I made a mistake in raising that persona at some point.

"I'm attached to this name, like it's my own child.

"And so, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

"The child is father to the man.

"Like Mommy fled after the crime she committed, I will also flee—and, Araragi-kun, I want you to deliver this letter to the police and tell them about my apartment.

"I know I said I'd give you the answer at the end, but I think you've figured it out by now. The reason I requested this of you.

"It was true that Oikura-san told me you were the greatest professional of child abuse among the students of Manase University, but that wasn't the deciding factor.

"It's because you're the son of the Araragi couple, the prefectural police's greatest human rights caseworkers—I'm sure you hate being told that, but you really should be proud of your fine parents.

"She never said so explicitly, but Oikura-san once got in contact with you for that very reason, didn't she? Through you, she wanted to skip all the complicated procedures and appeal to the top brass of the police.

"I thought I'd try to copy her.

"That's it! Was what I thought.

"I didn't have the guts to turn myself in, so I figured I'd ask Araragi-kun, who had the strongest connections, to help me. I wanted you to assist me, a liar, into becoming an honest person.

"For once, I wanted to walk down the path of sincerity—and I may have wanted to avoid Switzerland's image being tarnished as a result of my crimes being exposed. I wanted to make sure this was disclosed not as an international issue, but as a family matter.

"I may be a criminal, but I'm not a bad person.

"I'm just a bit pathetic.

"It's become a rather long letter, but now that I've foisted these fuzzy feelings like the stuffing of a doll onto you, I feel better now. I guess I should have done that from the beginning.

"I'll leave the rest to you.

"I'll run away where no one can reach me—because I'm Hagoromo, a robe of feathers. I may not be a heavenly maiden myself, but I'm sure I can fly. Like a piece of cloth, fluttering in the wind.

"Aah, it feels like I'm going to heaven."

034

"It feels like I'm going to heaven—since I tied things up with such an unnecessary statement, is that how you found me here?"

If so, I was way too negligent, and that's really pitiful of me—said Associate Professor Iesumi quite languidly, after we met for the first time in about a week.

I shook my head "no".

"To be honest, I haven't even read the letter properly yet."

"Then please read it. It's the letter left behind by a missing person, right? Even so, I didn't think it would be deciphered so quickly."

A testament.

That was not what Associate Professor Iesumi called it.

"Did you use an app?"

"No... Well, something like that."

Well, I wasn't going to tell her... The day of her disappearance, the letter she had left in her office had been discovered by me along with Meniko, who had accompanied me.

Not just four languages—she could probably speak over forty languages. Even I was surprised to find a college student who could speak Latin.

Even if it was a cryptogram mixed with Swiss German, Swiss French, Swiss Italian, and Romansh, it was nothing but a mental exercise for her... Well, she didn't have a lot of time on her hands because of club activities and stuff, so she thought it took quite some time, but it was still a lot speedier than me tackling it myself.

The translation may have ended up a bit light-hearted thanks to her, but that's something I could overlook...

"Didn't you think I'd hand the letter straight to the police, or maybe even the university?"

"I can tell just by your quiz results that you don't have the personality for something like that. Araragi-kun, you always try to fill in the answers to questions that you have no clue about, right? You don't like to turn in an answer sheet that's been left blank. You might rely on friends or apps, but I never once thought you'd relinquish a letter addressed to you without knowing what it said."

"...If you can profile me like that just from my quiz results, you really are a good teacher."

"Although I'm a fake. Can you answer my question? If you didn't read my letter, Araragi-kun, then how did you find me here? In other words, the place I disappeared to."

A little bear doll with an eyeball attached to it guided me here—but of course, I couldn't say something like that. Instead, I said this.

"Associate Professor Iesumi, don't you have a habit of throwing things you don't need onto the roof?"

"Eh?"

Associate Professor Iesumi looked at me with an expression of bewilderment—but, in fact, this was the university building's rooftop.

As soon as Ononoki-chan's familiar collided with the school building, it began to climb up the wall just like that... Free climbing. At first, I'd thought it pitiful that its creator had not bestowed upon it the wisdom to circumvent obstacles, but I soon realized—the one who lacked wisdom was actually me.

I was the most pitiful one.

I should've noticed earlier that Associate Professor Iesumi's office was located in said school building—and that the office was on the top floor, just like Room 333 of the apartment building.

A university professor who abruptly disappeared.

The office was empty, and nobody had seen her leaving the school building. She hadn't gone home, and she'd left her car behind—but maybe no one had searched the roof of the school building, which was naturally off-limits, right?

It wasn't so much as a blind spot as it was the first place you'd cross off the list, saying, "That can't be it"... The idea that she was holed up in her apartment was still more plausible. At least at home, she would have had a good living environment and would be able to order everything she needed online—whereas on the school building, there was no electricity or even running water.

She would have zero lifelines.

It was unsuitable as a hiding place or a place to flee to... But if she wasn't thinking about living or surviving, then it was a different story.

If she was just trying to escape.

If she was just trying to escape from this world—then the rooftop was the best place to do so.

"Did you think I'd jump to my death? I want to ascend to heaven. I don't want to fall to the ground."

Associate Professor Iesumi looked emaciated and gaunt—she was leaning against the fence, and didn't even look at me until I called out to her.

To be honest, I thought I hadn't made it in time and she'd become a Buddhist mummy... But she was still alive.

Though it was dim, her consciousness was still there.

"I'm good at living without drinking or eating. To the extent that that's the only thing I'm good at."

With the fence behind her back, that fence looked like it was part of a cage... It was as if she was still trapped. Trapped in the cage that her parents put her in.

But indeed, in this situation, there was no need to be afraid of her jumping off... I guess Ononoki-chan, who'd been on stand-by under the school building, wouldn't have her time to shine.

Incidentally, to prepare for any falling objects, Ononoki-chan had collected the eyeball from the little bear doll... This was because she wouldn't be able to catch anything without her sense of perspective. But it also meant that the little bear's life was much too short.

It would be a bit too arrogant to mourn its life, but even more so than its navigation to the rooftop, the fact that it was discovered on the rooftop of the apartment was more helpful in guiding me to this very location. So I couldn't help but be curious about its origin.

I'd acted like I hadn't read the letter properly, but the truth was that I had read it properly... There had been a point where she'd mentioned teddy bears, but she hadn't talked about this key chain itself.

From her reaction, it made me doubt whether or not it was something Associate Professor Iesumi even threw away... But, before that.

"In that case, would you like some water? Although it's carbonated."

"Hm?"

Associate Professor Iesumi strained to look.

She may have realized that the carbonated water had come from the trunk of her car, but she didn't say anything about it.

"I'll pass. If I drink water when I'm this hungry, I'll get refeeding syndrome."

That was her response—water shouldn't cause refeeding syndrome, but it was too heavy of a statement coming from someone who had experienced having water as her sole source of nutrition. But had I really just barely made it?

In fact, a considerable number of days had passed... As I recalled—the maximum length of time a person could go without eating or drinking was, yes, about three days.

Not to mention, it was the middle of summer, underneath the blazing sun.

There was no way I'd made it in time.

"No, no, you've done very well. Good for you. I'm sure your parents will be very proud of you. You've managed to capture a major criminal alive."

"...We can think about what to do later, but for now, why don't we get out of here? It's dangerous."

"Dangerous? Why?"

Because there might be a blanket coming to get revenge on you—or so I thought about responding, but I decided not to.

Since I managed to find Associate Professor Iesumi while she was still alive, it definitely hadn't been pointless, but after reading that deciphered letter, I realized it was a needless worry.

Surely, the Iie-chan doll had done nothing but escape—just as the mother had done from her mother.

That's right. Speaking of the letter...

"Sorry. From what I read of the letter, there's something I didn't quite understand... So was it you that stabbed the Iie-chan doll with the fruit knife, Associate Professor Iesumi?"

"Eh...? Stabbed what?"

For the second time, Associate Professor Iesumi looked bewildered... It wasn't that the term "Iie-chan doll" didn't ring a bell—it was as if she really didn't know what I was talking about.

I'd been thinking about adding onto that by asking who stabbed the father doll... But I guess I'll stop here.

In the letter, Associate Professor Iesumi confessed that she'd been the one to make the dolls, but she never wrote that she was the one to stab them.

The bear doll on the roof. The clothes that attacked.

The reason why there was no child seat installed in her car was because the existence of Iie-chan was false in the first place, and Associate Professor Iesumi's handiwork was limited only to her house... Though this major criminal had laid herself bare with this confession, there were still many mysteries left to be solved.

Not to mention, how much of the letter was actually true...? I didn't think that Associate Professor Iesumi was much of a liar, but there were quite a few things in there that didn't seem like they could be true.

But it wasn't my job to solve those mysteries.

All I could do was to fill in the answer sheet without leaving any blanks.

"Did I go wrong when I sought help from you, Araragi-kun?"

Associate Professor Iesumi, who was unable to stand up, spoke to me as I offered her a hand, but it sounded like she was talking mostly to herself.

Yeah, you could say that.

She'd mentioned in her letter that it wasn't her intention to ask me to clean things up for her, but as it turned out, instead of tidying up, I'd just about destroyed Associate Professor Iesumi's apartment and car as much as I could... If she had only listened a little more carefully to the rumors from my dear childhood friend, she would have realized that I was a completely undependable and lazy son.

So, even though in my mind I agreed with her wholeheartedly, I changed my mind, as if that wasn't it at all.

"No. You went wrong when you tried to die,"

I answered.

It was a compensatory answer that was unlikely to receive any extra credit.

[survey--s]

11.

How long until your birthday?: Ten days. It really doesn’t feel like it, though. This year has gone way, way too quickly for my liking, lol.

Do you have any relatives in the military currently?: No.

Who got married at the last wedding you went to?: The only wedding I’ve ever attended is my own, lol.

Are you better at math or art?: I’m really not very talented with either, lol, but maybe maths overall.

Science or History?: History.

Who was your 4th grade teacher?: Mrs Amtower.

Who was your best friend in 7th grade?: Jules, I suppose.

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all?: I’m not going to name my pre-school on here, lol.

Who was the last person to call you?: A client who wanted to re-arrange a meet and greet.

What’s your favorite brand of gum?: I don’t really chew gum but when I do buy it, it tends to Orbit or Wrigleys.

Do you own a digital camera?: Just my phone.

How old is the cellphone you have right now?: About six weeks old. I replaced my old one recently as it couldn’t even hold a charge for the few hours I’m at work and I need my phone to do my job, so.

Do you know anyone named Tyler?: My friends’ son is called Tyler.

Are both your parents still living?: They are indeed.

What was the last thing you bought?: I had a full weeks’ grocery shop arrive yesterday, so that, I guess.

Can you do a handstand?: Underwater, but last time I tried to do one on land, I dislocated my thumb, lol.

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?: None.

Have you ever had a pet fish?: No, just cats and a dog.

Are you taller than your mom?: I am, by about five inches lol. I think I passed her height-wise when I was about twelve years old.

Are you confused?: Not right now, no.

Whats on your wish list for your birthday?: I know what I’m getting already - a £50 voucher for wax melts plus dinner/flowers from Mike, and my mum is paying for my Christmas beach ride too. My dad has already got me a book about dog psychology but I’ve not read it yet.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?: Neither, really. I’m just focusing on getting through the next few weeks until my Christmas break, lol.

Something you hate more than anything?: Windy, rainy weather. 

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?: Not yet, but I’ve only seen a couple of people. I was still in bed when Mike left for work so I’ve not actually seen him yet.

Do you like surprises?: Nope.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?: Of course.

Do you miss someone?: No.

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?: Sure, if that was possible.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?: I believe in cause and effect, yes.

Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?: I mean, the ones who are doctors?

What’s your most favorite scar?: I don’t have a favourite...

When was the last time you flew in a plane?: Uh, when we flew back from Lanzarote which was 3.5 years ago now.

What did the last text message say that you received?: Uh, it was from Mike asking if his parcel had arrived or not.

How many kids do you wanna have?: I’m really undecided on the whole kids thing.

Would you make a good parent?: Some days I think I would, but other days...yeah, no lol.

Where was your default picture taken?: On Facebook, it was taken at home. It’s just a photo of Layla and I. I don’t actually like it much but I put it up when she was missing.

Honestly, whats on your mind right now?: I suddenly feel really tired for some reason. It always happens around this time of the night which is why I hate early evening.

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?: Glasses.

When is the last time you received a massage? I don’t remember.

Who made you cry?: When? lol. I haven’t cried in ages, though.

What was the last tv show you watched? World’s Toughest Prisons.

What are your plans for tomorrow?: Walking the dog, working 10-1.30. After that, I have no idea. A shower, lunch and then maybe watching TV or a movie.

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Training Day

Thanks so much for the amount of love the last post got!I’m sorry it took me so long to post this next one, school and other stuff started to get in the way, so to make up for it I added a surprise arc at the end. I might start doing theses in chunks to save time and fill in any gaps where I don’t post as much because of school. Not so sure yet but it’s just an idea. I hope that if you read this you enjoyed it! I am going to try and post more frequently now that I’m almost caught up with my school work.

Damian: Good morning Tim! I made you breakfast.

Tim: What do you know? Why are you calling me Tim?

Cassandra: Plus three large hot cups of coffee.

Tim: What’s going on? Why are you guys acting so weird?

Cassandra: No reason. Just want to be nice.

Tim: Nope. That’s not it. What did you guys do.

Jason: Done making Tim’s bed! I’m off to steam his suit!

Tim: WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON???

Cassandra, Damian, and Jason: *in unison* We just want to be nice. *all three surround him in a big hug*

Tim: THIS IS SO WEIRD!

Dick: *walks into the breakfast room* Morning Tim! How’s it going?

Tim: NO! ALL OF YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! *storms out of the breakfast room*

Dick: What did you do to Tim?

Jason: We have no idea.

Damian: The dude is losing it.

Dick: *gets face to face with Cassandra* Cass, do you have something to say?

Cassandra: We woke up early and decided to be nice to Tim for no reason.

Dick: You guys are evil. Go have your fun.

All three run out of the room.

Jason: TIM LET US LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Hey, Babs doesn’t know your here. I don’t want her to get jealous or something so could you please join the zoom call from another room.

Helena: Sure, I understand, lover.

Dick: No, we aren’t going through that again.

Helena: I make no promises.

Tim: You know you’re going to be in deep shit when Barbara finds out, right?

Dick: I’m in deep shit anyway.

Tim: Very true.

Dick: *begins the zoom call* Hey everyone, so if you can’t tell, Huntress has arrived to help out. Now, to everyone at the manor I created a schedule for when to work out. They should be completed before patrol. For those of you at home, I trust that you made your own.

Barbara: Yep!

Kate: Please, I’ve been training much harder than most of you guys since I was 6.

Harper: Yeah, sorta did. Not able to do much because I’m not at the cave.

Dick: That actually leads me to my next point. Harper I made a schedule for you because Bruce, Alfred, Selina, and I found a way to have Cullen inside the mansion without him finding out who Batman really is. Cullen already knows the alter egos of Red Robin, Spoiler, Orphan, and Nightwing. Everyone else is a question mark, so we will allow you to enter the mansion. When Cullen is around, we all will have to restrain from talking about our vigilante work. Have everything ready by next week. Once you arrive you’ll have to quarantine in your room for two weeks.

Harper: Awesome!

Dick: Today there has actually been no crime in Gotham City, so far, so we’ll take a day off, but if something comes up, cases will be assigned as they normally are. So everyone, after training, feel free to relax but be ready in case something pops up.

Dick and Jason

Dick: *turns on his training playlist, first song being “Devil in I” from Slipknot*

Jason: You know what, if this is the kind of stuff you have on your playlist, I might actually enjoy training with you!

Dick: I have 357 songs on here.

Jason: Damn!

Dick: What did you expect, I listen to every genre!

Jason: Really! I should actually start listening whenever people talk.

Dick: Remember that next time Bruce yells at you for shooting someone.

Jason: I’m just saying, if I mistake someone’s knee cap for their head, is it really that bad?

Dick: *laughs* Yes!

The two stretch a bit before moving on to pommel horse.

Dick: Figured you’d want to get this out of the way first.

Jason: Fuck you!

Dick: Just think of the music, and not falling.

Jason: *goes for a loop on pommel horse and bangs his legs against the pommels and falls* AHHHHHHH!

Dick: Maybe I should take pommels off first?

Jason: That’s an option? Then yes, please do so!

Dick: *quickly takes of the pommels then goes for a magyar, a triple russian, flare, spindle, press handstand one and a half piro, and flawlessly sticks his dismount*

Jason: Show off.

Duke and Damian

Dick and Jason had been training for an hour and fifteen minutes before Duke and Damian walked in. After stretching, the two began to spar.

Dick: Duke! You made a mistake when choosing your partner.

Jason: Nah! My boy Duke will show Dami who’s the boss.

Duke: I honestly like my chances!

Damian: Good Thomas, your over confidence will be your doom!

The two begin to fight. Damian dives right for Duke, rolling out and uses his momentum to go for a front flip and kick Duke in the chest, however Duke evades Damian’s strike and trips him after Damian lands.  Damian gets back up though, thrashing at Duke. Duke dodges each strike and finally jabs Damian in the gut a few times and kicks him in the chest. That would be the only fight out of the three they had that Duke won. 

Afterwards, Dick began to teach him the basics on both high bar. Duke was able to catch on very quickly and by the end of his training on high bar he was learning how to do kips and flyaways. Dick and Duke also decided to tumble together so Duke could learn the basics and some advanced skills too.

Damian spent the rest of his time trying to out do Jason. When Jason was using 100 lb weights, Damian would use 120′s. When Jason ran 5 miles, Damian ran 6. 

Jason: Dami, you’re going to be extremely sore. Take it easy.

Damian: Easy? *huff* Let me *huff* remind you that *huff* I was also trained *huff* by the League *huff* of Assassins. *runs to the garbage to throw up* I am superior *huff* than all of *huff* you in every way.

Jason: Okay bud. Well, I’m about to spar with Dick.

Damian: I’ll fight Grayson, too. *jogs up to Dick while moaning in pain* *huff* Fight me Grayson. *huff*

Dick: I’m not going to fight you. You look like you’ll pass out.

Damian: I’m *huff* fine.

Dick: Throw a punch at me like you normally would without groaning in pain.

Damian: *starts to punch but his fist his Dick like a soft tap* Ahhhhhh.

Dick: Go rest, take an ice bath, eat a lot of fruits, and drink a lot of water.

Damian: Okay, *huff* but only because *huff* you said so.

Dick and Jason then started to fight and after they concluded, Dick took the trash bag that Damian hurled in and tossed it out. An hour later Duke concluded his workout.

Cassandra and Julia

Cassandra: Woooo! Are you ready?

Julia: Your enthusiasm is a little bit concerning.

Cassandra: Yeah, but just deal with it.

Since she arrived to the mansion Julia has not let herself stop her routine. She has been training as much as she has been since her days in Britain's Special Reconnaissance Regiment. However as soon as she saw Cassandra doing freestanding handstand push-ups while doing an inverted crunch, she knew she had to up her game.

Cassandra just ignored the list Dick gave her for the most part and did the craziest exercises she could think of. When she started strength conditioning, she ran to the still rings and tried to do what she saw Dick doing once. She tried an azarian to an iron cross but immediately fell through the rings. it took her twenty minutes but she finally made it to the iron cross and rolled backwards into a planche. An hour later she finish conditioning and waited for Julia to finish so the two could spar.

Julia: Okay, you ready? *walking over from the treadmill*

Cassandra: More than ready! Lets do this! *she started bouncing on her toes like a boxer*

Cassandra won all three fights within a matter of minutes. Julia almost had a chance in the second one where Cassandra lost her balance, but she reacted too slow as Cassandra regained it and knocked Julia to the floor.

Selina and Helena

Selina focused more on her agility during her cardio workout than anything else. I mean, it’s definitely something that she takes pride in so why wouldn’t she?

Helena: Hey, can I ask you a question? *throwing punches toward Selina*

Selina: Sure! *dodges each strike, jumps off the wall, and dives over Helena’s head*

Helena: What’s the situation between Dick and Barbara? *grabs Selina’s torso and slams her body down*

Selina: Oof. *gets back up from the floor and sits down with Helena* Don’t think of it. Dick is all sad that he has to stay at the mansion without Barbara. I wouldn’t even try to approach Dick about the situation because he’ll act even more weird then when you arrived.

Helena: That explains this morning.

Selina: What happened?

Helena: I said hey and he replied with “Hey, what’s up, gir......friend, lady. Girl who is a friend and a lady. Saved it.” Then, just for fun, I pinched his ass and he jumped up and screamed. 

Selina: You’re playing with fire, I don’t blame you for pinching his ass though.

Helena: Hold on, it gets better. After that I leaned towards him and he started leaning over the table and asked, what’s wrong lover. He then stepped to the side and said “Nothing, nothing.” and started walking backwards saying “coolcoolcool” until he reached the door.

Selina: Why bother messing with his head?

Helena: Because it’s fun. Plus I still feel like there is something there. 

Selina: Very well. Now that you have that out of your system let’s head to the showers.

Helena: You won’t tell Dick, right?

Selina: What you just told me is between you and Dick. I will not interfere in any way.

Stephanie and Tim

Tim: *walks in tired as hell* Hey Steph. You ready?

Stephanie: Yeah!

Tim: Alright. Cool.

Both Stephanie and Tim go to do their separate training regimes. Tim however, being extremely tired started to move very slow during his workout. Halfway through his work out he stepped out to grab a five hour energy shot and started flying through his conditioning list that Dick made. 

Tim: You ready to spar? *jumping around like a rabbit, then lands sideways, falling to the floor only to get back up*

Stephanie: *looking at Tim like he’s a crackhead* No, I think we should skip the sparring match today.

Tim: No, come on let’s go! *grabs Stephanie's wrist and drags her over to the sparring arena*

Stephanie: Tim your going to hurt yourself. Instead of sparring let’s take a nap.

Tim: Come on, sleeping is for people who have don’t have tragic backstories. Let’s fight!

Tim tries to throw a few quick jabs but Stephanie quickly sweeps Tim’s legs causing him to fall. Stephanie Runs forward pointing her fist at his throat.

Tim: Owww! That’s abuse! You abused myself! Why are you mean?!

Stephanie: Tim, when was the last time you slept?

Tim: Ummmmm........... Tuesday?

Stephanie: Okay, training is over, go let yourself rest.

Tim: Pffft. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. 

Stephanie: Okay. *text Dick* Hey Dick, we have a code yellow.

Dick: *text back* On my way up.

Tim: You know I like to live by the words of the Beastie Boys anyway. No sleep ‘til Brooklyn, and because I have never been to Brooklyn, I am not obligated to sleep.

Stephanie: You have a problem!

Tim: No, *points his finger dramatically at Stephanie*  you have a problem.

Dick: *walks in* Hey Tim, I have a case I want to work on with you.

Tim: *to Stephanie* See, now I can’t sleep.

Dick: We’ll take the Batmobile.

*3 hours later*

Dick: Okay, we just entered Brooklyn. Now go to sleep!

Tim: No fair, you tricked my brain.

Dick: SLEEEEEEEEP!

Tim: NO!

Dick: Why are you staying up all night?

Tim: Because, I don’t want anything to change! *starts sobbing*

Dick: It’s okay, you’re alright. *pulls over to the side of the road*

Tim: No I’m not. Everything is changing and I don’t want it to. I don’t want to fall out of my habits because what about when things get back to normal. Then we have to build those habits again, and what if while we are readjusting someone dies because we weren’t ready. Plus, there is so much stress with helping Bruce keep his company from falling, trying to finish my homework, training, and patrolling the nights where there is more activity. 

Dick: *embraces Tim in his arms* Look change is going to happen whether we like it or not. It’s not what happens that shapes who we are but how we react to the changes that occur in our lives that do. The world is never going to be the same after this pandemic is over, so you could either adapt, or repeat your mistakes. It’s okay to not be okay. You are not alone, you have all of us at the mansion to talk to. Another thing that you have to keep in mind is that people are going to die. We both knew that the moment we signed up, and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is learn from what happened to stop it from happening again. You also need to get some sleep. I know you are under a lot of stress right now, not going to lie, but you have it worse than all of us right now, but how do you expect to save others if you won’t take care of yourself. 

Tim: *starts calming down*

Dick: I’ll talk to Bruce tonight to see if he could cut you some slack. I’ll find a way to help out too now that we aren’t patrolling as much. Just make sure to take care of yourself.

Tim: Okay.

Dick: Smart, toit.

Tim: Stop it Peralta. *begins to laugh*

Dick: *laughs pretty hard* Now get some rest, I’ll wake you up when we get back to Gotham.

Tim: Okay. I guess.

Black Mask, Hush, Two-Face, and Jason Bard

The night was very silent as Roman Sionis looked upon Gotham from the building. It was quiet, empty, peaceful, and disturbing. Hush walked into the room, followed by Harvey Dent and Jason Bard.

Black Mask: Congratulations, you found your way here.

Jason Bard: You’re pretty easy to find when you want to be.

Black Mask: Or is it because no one else is on the street other then your snitches.

Jason Bard:......

Hush: You called us here. What do you want?

Black Mask: Look out at the city. Tell me what do you see.

The three men walk forward towards the window.

Two-Face: Fear.

Hush: Silence.

Jason Bard: Caution, and paranoia.

Black Mask: You are all correct, but you missed one thing.

Two-Face: Stop playing games! What do you want us to see?

Black Mask: Opportunity.

[cloveroctobers]

• ROHAN WASTI•

IG info/bio: @/niceguyroasti | 175k followers | Just here for a bit of fun 🤹🏽‍♂️! They don’t call me the brown handstand king for nuthin, mate 🎪🤸🏽‍♂️

(23) 25 (26) years old

From Wolverhampton, England

Before you ask...no he’s never met Liam Payne but Rohan’s sure he’s a great lad. (He was asked this question in one of his lives, he secretly thinks it was talia from one of her secret burner stan accounts lol) He’s got a nice tune with a boogie w da hoodie that he likes??

Anyways...he’s of Pakistani heritage

His mother used to work for a printing press company until she along with 15 other employees were laid off back in Sargodha

She was out of work for months becoming a stay at home mom (which his father initially wanted) 

While his father continued in ironwork

They uprooted their family to the uk two years later after Rohan’s father also got laid off

Rohan was about 7 years old when they moved to Wolverhampton

he picked up on the English language faster than his parents

Always a quick learner

He has two younger brothers

Who are really his cousins/friends of the family that his parents brought home from Pakistan after their parents passed in a tragic accident

he was eleven years old when he met them at the airport and was super excited to have sibs! & even encouraged his mom to let him buy them something they would like sort of like a ice breaker which they seemed to appreciate 😭

His parents wanted him to major in software engineering or any form of engineering really but that quickly became a “hell no” vs “hell yeah” after those courses started to rot his brain?

So what does he do? He decides he’s gonna major in psychology instead!

That seems more of his speed? Kinda? As long as he’s not dealing with that hardware shit then that’s cool with him tbh

Psych held more of his interest since he doesn’t have a issue with the whole science aspect tied into it but it’s deff lengthy and can be draining sometimes too

He doesn’t psychoanalyze everything like our girl marisol does

marisol will be like “hmm...you’re distributing narcissistic behavior based on your superego more than your ego ya know?”

but Rohan will either think it or think nothing of it and just continue to go with the flow lol. He’s that kinda guy

Why was he majoring in this in the first place? Just to say he had the degree in something maybe?

He’s 50/50 thinking he’ll just get the degree he’s halfway there but he really wants to be part of the circus

And now has circus themed tatts that he’s proud of thank u

Always had the obsession with all that comes with the circus, he had his paternal grandfather to thank for that

His grandfather used to juggle along with other forms of entertainment but mostly juggling on the street back in Pakistan to earn $ since there were a lack of jobs

The atmosphere there also was what got him into doing handstands cause why tf not

You can absolutely guess that the acrobats, trapeze acts, and tightrope entertainers are his favorites to watch

His parents just assumed it was a hobby of his and never took him serious even tho he openly said growing up that’s something he would like to do in life

He now understands the purpose of “freak shows” even tho he can honestly say those parts of the circus used to terrify him until he learned that not everyone is the same and there should be no shame in that

He will train on the side until he finishes his degree to make his parents happy but he knows he truly belongs in the circus and that’s where he will be someday whether his parents approve or not— after all this is his life

Lives on campus and is currently looking for a flat off campus to share with a roommate or two (he thought about asking jake & Tim but decided against it FOR NOW)

Mostly had temporary and odd jobs to get by each semester, has not had a steady job due to fully being a full-time student

He’s tried to be a full time student and full time employee (working as a package delivery man) just to burn himself out and never attempted to be a part time employee. It was not something he could handle sorry

His mother spoils him...he’s a bit of a mama’s boy

When it comes to relationships, it never seems to be what he thinks it is? One moment things are going great then the next he’s in the friend zone so he’s never quite sure where he stands with his significant others?

Which is why he thinks it’s safe to always start off in the friend zone or unintentionally puts those who have interest in him in the friend zone because that’s what’s comfortable to him

however if he’s really into you & you’re showing that you’re into him but it’s causal dating or whatever u want to call it? & you up and decide to pick the other over him catching him off guard he’s gonna be in his feelings about it 100% ex.) how he picked erikah over mc the 2nd time around and felt some type of way when erikah hopped on reeses dck

he wants communication even if it’s hard

and he wants someone to love unconditionally and for them to love him back

Definitely likes to sweep his loves off their feet

Especially when he’s kissing! The whole dipping you while you kiss, hand on the small of your back, or hands gripping your waist while he’s pressed up against you. Probably likes to bend you over things or have you pressed up against objects as well—Sign me tf up

I feel like he’s always warm and his hands are surprisingly soft with how many handstands he does in a damn day

He purchases hand moisturizing gloves

can always hold his own weight

enjoys core exercises

Will carry you on his back or his shoulders if you need to see better at festivals/concerts

He’s sexually fluid

It’s canon/hinted that something went on between him & jake when mc walked in that we missed by a few seconds or even a minute but I do think he’s attracted/was to jake and it’s canon that jake is bi bby

Plus he got excited when mc suggested that he’d date jake if jake doesn’t find someone in the villa so BOOM 🤗

Always active as a kid trying to do flips and shit likes he’s doing parkour much like Bobby ending up with bruises, scrapes, and surprisingly no broken bones? Well maybe scratch that last bit out...He did crack his head open a little bit once giving his mother a heart attack but his mother doesn’t dare speak of it — haram!

Loves his sleeveless shirts and silver thick chains

Keeps a five o’clock shadow + might grow a little stubble here and there, feels like it’s part of his signature look

Won’t grow a full beard due to the racism/prejudice he witnessed his father, grandfather, uncles, and cousins go thru!

Will spend coin on some aftershave, none of that cheap shit when it comes to that! Sorry he takes pride in his facial area

probably went thru a mild case of cystic acne when puberty hit & had some insecure moments when it comes to his appearance & still has moments where it’ll hit even tho he beat it thanks to some remedies but tries his best not to let it get to him

He knows how to manage his $ but can splurge every now and then but will never showcase what he has — that’s v corny to him to be overly flashy. He’s looking at y’all @/leggy @/jasper/@/miles

Doesn’t take high quality photos of himself, it’s always zoomed in or extra zoomed in photos—yup he’s got that type of feed

Regrets putting mc in the friend zone & wishes he put more effort in making things work with erikah

But slowly learned to be happy that she’s with Reese even if he wasn’t at first. He really thought there could have been something for him & erikah

he secretly thinks their “relationship” is superficial & based off of shallowness and lust. What else do they have? Nothing that he could have given her but what’s the point in being bitter over this?

Reese is a shit stirrer that thinks he can get anything he wants because of the way he looks & if he knows outside info that he can use again you, he WILL

& erikah? He doesn’t know where her head is at majority of the time. She likes to throw rocks then acts like she didn’t mean to do it but why do it in the first place if you didn’t mean to? + she seems to lose interest fast if they don’t fit her standards besides their physical appearance...yeah Rohan caught all of that

So did she even genuinely like him or want to besides what he brought to the table physically? Who knows

He just thinks people deserve their chance at happiness and he possibly could have had it if he wasn’t standing in his own way...and he absolutely won’t stand in anyone else’s way if they don’t see potential happiness with him

He’s cool with cherry but deep down he knew there wouldn’t be anything long term between him & her after some time. She’s a beautiful/hot girl but she wasn’t his type + he didn’t like how she portrayed herself in the villa even tho she claims there was more than what meets the eye when it comes to her

she proved that to him which she didn’t HAVE to!!! outside of the house and they actually remained friends unlike the now growing distance he has with erikah

I cannoned that him and Hannah give it a go. I think they’d be cute together? She told him from the moment they met at a festival that they were now dating after they ended up holding hands but he didn’t take her seriously since she was a little drunk?

She messaged him two days later asking him when they were going on their date and that was enough for him to give it a go

They only lasted for a couple of months since they outgrew each other slowly but surely. ‘Not all things are temporary,’ he had to remind himself

It was no bad blood thankfully and they continued to be friends with him wishing her well on her new relationship with Carl. He was genuinely happy for her as he always was for his friends

Cannot cook for shit but makes the best coffee with cinnamon & cardamom

once tried to make Aloo Chaat but with a twist! With the use of Potato Skins instead! for a family dinner party and his mum almost sent him home due to the insults his father spewed at rohan trying to fool them all that it was his wife who prepared such a thing

It is evident that his father only enjoys his wife’s cooking

he still makes it for himself when he’s starving despite what his father thinks

Is fluent in Urdu, English came second

Never ashamed of his culture although his father thinks he is...

His fav shows are misfits + the IT crowd and he is currently watching & enjoying truth seekers + mr. selfridge since Tim recommended it to him ofc

his fav American show is the challenge

when asked what his fav American movie is, he got dragged since ppl assumed it would be the greatest showman but he can’t take all the singing...musicals aren’t his thing sorry

But he’ll bust out a rap only if Tim & jake are around, he rarely does it alone

Even looked into producing music for fun but never took THAT seriously

closest with jake & Tim, doesn’t have much of a relationship with the other lads 🤷🏽‍♀️ but there’s no real beef with anyone he knows how to let shit go

But you’ll never catch him having a chat with Reese or following him back on ig. What they had to say to each other was already said and done so?

If erikah agrees to get engaged to Reese, he’s happy for her but cordial to him

if she doesn’t end up with Reese, he’ll be her shoulder to lean on if she needs it

his love language is physical touch with a splash of acts of service

Commonly sleeps curled up, his mum says he was like that in the womb as well—(same dude)

He’s probably a good 5’9 - 5’7 on bad days

Is he a Pisces? Idk

His signature cologne is probably Antaeus by Chanel which is described to have notes of: lemon, lime, coriander and sage w. A blend of thyme, basil and rose

Loves black pepper, specifically garlic, onion, black pepper, and sea salt all mixed together

has a vitiligo spot on the right side of his lower spine that is commonly covered with the waistband of whatever bottoms he has on

has a pogo stick

Wants to go skydiving next, has gone bungee jumping—which was such a adrenaline rush!!!

probably knows a few tips on how to survive in the wild or if the apocalypse hits...you can never be too sure

If he ever gets a pet he might get something like: Satanic Leaf tailed Gecko, Kinkajou, or a Pac-Man frog. He likes being different okay

he actually enjoyed season 3 despite the negative remarks made about it. It was “different” basically drama free which was a shocker knowing how production likes to take things take a shot every time ro explains his decisions/opinions as such lol

BUT he won’t go as far to say he liked it better than his season yet he did enjoy keeping up with it. He def has a crush on iona, aj, vieve, Camilo & tai

Yasmin actually joined one of his lives, which he doesn’t do too often but he couldn’t sleep one night and thought he’d give it a go. She’s quite nice & quiet but he ultimately felt calm around her + they bonded over bohemian lifestyle & his love for the circus + a little about their cultures

Long term goals? He doesn’t have a set timeline of when he wants everything to happen because pressure is not fun

but he wants to be in love and loved back, wants to be married, wants to have kids, wants to try out the circus for awhile and if that doesn’t work out he can always fall back on his psych degree—he just wants to be happy and share that with someone, that’s one of the biggest adventures he can possibly have

His anthem = Blxst, “No Love Lost”

[nextchae]

ateez reaction — someone checking out their significant other

The suggestion of a date by your boyfriend had gotten you very excited, even despite the fact that you two had already been dating for quite some time. Spending time with your boyfriend was always something that you looked forward to, regardless of where or when. The fact that his busy schedule often didn’t make time for these, however, was definitely a contributing factor to your eagerness.

It wasn’t that your boyfriend particularly cared about your outfit choices, but you knew he had a favorite and so that was what you decided to wear. Unfortunately, you didn’t know beforehand that he wasn’t going to be the only one enjoying the sight of you in it.

seonghwa

“Aw, look!” You exclaimed, spotting a super cute plushie on a shelf a few feet away from you and Seonghwa. As you reached up to grab it, your shorts must have rode up a bit resulting in a whistle from someone behind you.

At first you assumed it was just Seonghwa, of course, and rolled your eyes as you turned to show him the stuffed squirrel. Much to your surprise, you were instead greeted by the sight of your angry boyfriend and some stranger.

Lucky for this person, because it really looked as if Seonghwa was going to commit murder, they had the opportunity to run away when he was distracted by you.

He mumbled obscenities under his breath as he took off his jacket and firmly tied it around your waist. For the remainder of the date he refused to let go of your hand or stop insulting the unfamiliar person from earlier.

“This outfit is only for me” he mumbled under his breath.

hongjoong

Flicking your boyfriend on the forehead as he stole a bite of your ice cream, you couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you had stopped for some ice cream and just took the time to joke around and have some fun. In the midst of all this, you or Hongjoong hadn’t even noticed the extra pair of eyes on you.

In fact, you didn’t notice at all until your boyfriend stepped out for a few minutes to take a phone call. Looking around the small ice cream parlor, you uncomfortably offered the stranger a small smile in hopes of them paying attention to something else.

When Hongjoong finally returned, you immediately stood and pulled him in the direction of the exit. You waited until you and him were a little ways away before telling him. Which was probably for the best as you still had to stop him from running back and confronting the person.

“I get that you’re extremely nice to look at and all, but really? The nerve of some people”

yunho

It was nice out, and so the outdoor mall seemed like a good idea. You and Yunho were having the time of your lives just doing simple things like looking around shops and joking with each other. Before you two even noticed, the sun had began to fall as nighttime approached.

“Can I have just one picture? Please?” Your boyfriend pleaded to you with as a small pout formed on his lips. He loved taking pictures of you, literally everywhere, and said that he just had to have one of you at golden hour in front of the center pond.

As you finally agreed and posed for his camera, you easily noticed the stranger who was staring at you from a couple feet behind Yunho. Following your confused gaze, Yunho’s eyes widened as he gave the person a look.

“We’ll go somewhere else” he muttered, taking your hand and quickly getting you out of that person’s sight.

yeosang

“what do you think?” You asked your boyfriend as you stepped out of the dressing room, now in new clothes.

“Looks, nice” he answered quietly, a small sheen of blush rising to the surface of his cheeks.

“You picked it out!” You exclaimed with a laugh, amazed at Yeosang’s slight embarrassment. As you continued to tease him lovingly, someone in the corner of your eye caught your attention.

The person stood against the wall a few feet away, their eyes quite obviously looking you up and down. The small involuntary frown on your lips caused Yeosang to turn and look as well, his eyebrows immediately raising in shock.

As Yeosang attempted to awkwardly hide you behind him, the person quickly left.

“We’re buying this, but you can only wear it when I’m around” he said, making you pinky promise him as well.

san

“I can come too!” You told your boyfriend who claimed that you needed to sit and rest while he went to get you two some drinks.

“Let me be nice to you!” He laughed, squishing your cheeks as you frowned up at him. “Just sit here and rest. I’ll be right back”.

Kicking your shoes around as you waited impatiently, your gaze caught that of someone’s on the opposite bench as you. Nodding to them at first, you didn’t think anything of it. Until they continued to stare at you.

“They didn’t have cherry so I got you-” you cut your boyfriend off by immediately standing as he returned with drinks in his hands.

“Thank you” you spoke rushed, attempting to get away as quickly as possible. San thought you were mad at his drink choice, but once you told him about the person it looked as if he was going to explode.

“You should’ve shown me them! I would’ve... let them know that you’re in a happy relationship”

mingi

“Y/n! Watch this!” Your boyfriend proudly exclaimed, attempting to do a handstand on the top of the hill at the park.

You were scared to death that he was going to fall and roll down the entire thing, but you had to admit it was quite amusing. Plus you loved the way his whole face would light up at the sound of your laughter.

“Be careful!” You yelled back, unable to control your giggles.

The whole time you two had been at the park you had only seen an elderly couple and a few children with their parents, so you definitely hadn’t noticed the random person who only stood a ways back from you. Mingi, however, being at a completely different view point, quickly spotted the stranger who was checking you out and even pulled out their phone to take a picture of you.

“Yah!” He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and racing down the hill. He had scared off the person before you even had a good chance to look, but he claimed that was a good thing.

wooyoung

The last place you expected to be checked out was walking down the street while holding hands with your boyfriend, but in that aspect you were definitely surprised.

You and Wooyoung had just been talking and laughing together when you passed by a couple of people, their gazes drawn to and following you. You quickly brushed it off, but Wooyoung definitely did not.

“What are you looking at? My girlfriend? Well-” he began, immediately walking towards them as you quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

“What was that for!?” He exclaimed, his voice still laced with anger.

“Don’t worry about it” you told him, assuring him that you were completely fine. “What are you gonna do, fight them?” You joked, teasing at him.

“Maybe” he shrugged, attempting to keep a cool look on his face. He always said he was more confident when you were around, and sometimes it really showed. Sometimes.

jongho

The end to your date consisted of going to the grocery store with Jongho to pick up a few things. Definitely not a candlelit dinner or anything, but your relationship was probably not quite textbook either. Not that you would change that for anything, though.

As you tried to stop your boyfriend from breaking a pound of apples in half, someone unfamiliar caught your attention. Not for any reason in particular besides the fact that they were intensely staring at you.

Jongho, apple in hand, quickly looked over to the person who was now attempting to play it off like they were looking for some fruits. Rolling his eyes, your boyfriend protectively slung his arm around your waist and pulled you into a different isle.

“If only they’d seen me break the apple, then they would’ve been scared” he said, shaking his head.

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Crushing Too Late

Mattie

           I always loved coming with Dad and Papa to work. I knew with everything in me that one day, I was going to be just like them. That I was going to be a wrestler and people were going to say that I was the best.

           For as long as I could remember, I’d wanted to be like them. I’d wanted to do everything that they did. Whenever Mom would let them, they’d pull out an old ring they’d bought and put it together on the tennis court or the back yard. Then Papa and Dad would get in it with me, tell me stories about everyone they’d wrestled in that ring as they taught me everything they knew. And what they didn’t know, Uncle Kenny, Uncle Adam, and Uncle Cody would show me. Sometimes Uncle Brandon or some of the other people who worked with my dads would train with me.

           Whenever I went with them to shows, Dad and Papa always promised that I could train in the ring after it was set up. And no matter how many times I came with them, they never once broke their promise.

           “You’re getting better at that,” Dad said as I ran into the corner and flipped over onto the apron, just like he did. “Now let’s see the rest of it.”

           He stood next to the ropes while Papa stood outside. I looked between the two of them and grinned.

           Papa got close, I kicked out and slapped the outside of my thigh as he took my shoe on the palm of his hand. “See ya!” I grunted just before I leaned between the top and middle rope and put my shoulder into Dad’s stomach.

           He let out an exaggerated oof as I jumped onto the top rope, sprang off and pulled him face-down onto the mat. Then I flipped into a handstand and kicked my legs through the top and middle rope. My feet landed on the apron, I took half a second to make sure Papa was right there, and then did a moonsault. Everyone else called this the perpetual offence machine. Mom called it Dad showing off.

           Papa caught me over his shoulder, but instead of falling back, he grinned at me. “Caught in a counter, Tea. What’re you going to do?”

           I looked at how Papa had caught me. I honestly had no clue what to do. I’d never ever seen anyone counter Dad’s move before.

           “Nyla or Shida would have driven you into the ring apron by now,” Dad said from the ropes.

           Before I could think further, a voice came shouting down from the stage area. “DDT!”

           “What?” I shouted back. When I looked up from Papa’s back, I thought I was going to choke. Trent and Chuck were walking down the ramp with their friend Orange Cassidy right behind them. I blushed and tried to wriggle out of Papa’s hold. Instead I kneed him in the ribs hard enough for him to drop me onto the mat at ringside.

           I felt the heat burn through my face as I looked up and saw them standing there. Cassidy smiled as he offered me his hand to pull me up. “DDT would do the trick,” he said as he heaved me easily to my feet. He was in street clothes and wasn’t wearing his trademark sunglasses or jacket.

           I didn’t like how my tongue got tied into knots whenever they were around. Chuck always told jokes and made me laugh. We traded bad jokes and insults about how stupid the other one was. Trent would let me sit on his back while he did pushups until either he fell over or I couldn’t stop laughing. Then he’d do pull ups while I clung to his legs. Cassidy was almost always there, usually sitting quietly in the corner watching the three of us act like idiots. But he never said much, and I never knew what to say to him.

           But when he did speak, it made my heart sink into my toes and I thought I was going to be sick. He had a nice voice and really pretty eyes. I couldn’t stop staring at him, even as I felt my face go redder and redder with each passing second.

           I heard Dad’s voice from the ring. “Remind me not to use that in the match tonight. I can’t have the King of Sloth Style show me up.”

           Cassidy laughed and I got that sick feeling in my stomach again. It was like a straight drop on a roller coaster without a safety bar. It made me dizzy. “Dude, we both know you move too fast for me.”

           “Aww, I’m sorry, Cass. Let’s have dinner first, how about that?”

           Papa snorted. Trent hid his laugh behind his fist. Chuck hopped up on the ring apron. “Only if you have him home by eleven, Nick. Doesn’t do well if he misses his bedtime.”

           I looked up and saw Dad grinning ear to ear. I always loved seeing him smile. It made Papa and Mom happy. Especially since there was a time when Dad didn’t smile all the way. But being with his friends, being around everyone at the show, it always brought out his easy grins. I felt myself mirror his expression. Everyone said I looked like him. Sometimes I thought that bothered Papa and, honestly, I didn’t like it all the time either.

           But when it came to smiling, Dad had the best one. And I was glad I’d gotten it, too.

Matt

           Nick, Chuck, and Cassidy traded snappy remarks and comebacks while Trent and I watched them like a tennis match. It wasn’t unusual. The five of us had done enough bits for Being the Elite to have a pretty solid rapport by now.

           Our eldest stood in the midst of it, looking up at Nick and beaming when he smiled. The more I saw it, the easier it was to see that she was his twin. Mischievous, funny, whole-hearted, and exceptionally aware of her place in the world. Mattie had Nick’s eyes and his smile, and hair that was somewhere between mine and her mother’s.

           Like them, she was also a completely open book. Oh Jesus, I’m not ready for this.

Nick

           I flopped onto the mat and rolled out to sit up on the apron. Mattie was a few steps away, her face bright red. She hopped up onto the ring next to me and tucked herself beneath my arm. I gave her a squeeze and kissed the top of her head. She was fifteen, and I was afraid that the day was coming when she didn’t want to be our little girl anymore. I’d take what I could get until then.

           “Dad, can I come to ringside tonight?” she asked quietly.

           I grinned at her. “Sure, Tea. We’ll get you a spot in the front row.”

           Our daughter grinned at me and kissed my cheek. “I’m going to go annoy Uncle Adam.” She slid onto her feet and hugged Matt around the waist.

           “Yeah,” Chuck said throwing his arm around Mattie’s shoulder. “Let’s go annoy Adam.”

           Cassidy and Trent fell into step with the two of them as they walked up the ramp and disappeared backstage. I watched until they were out of sight.

           “God, she’s growing up so fast.”

           Matt crossed his arms and glared in the direction they’d left. “Too fast. I’m not ready for this.”

           “Ready for what?” I queried as I joined him at the base of the ramp. “Matt, she’s not going to get in the ring or be on TV for a while.”

           My brother grunted. “I’d rather put her on TV tonight than this. Did you not see what I just saw?” When I didn’t answer, he threw his hands up. “She’s looking at Cassidy.”

           I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Matt, relax. She’s fifteen. And he’s our age. Plus… Jesus, she’s known him all her life.”

           “I don’t like it.”

Mattie

           “I don’t know where Uncle Adam is,” I said nervously, standing outside the locker room that was usually his. “Maybe he’s not here yet.”

           “Pushups?” Trent asked, his brows raised. There was a slight smirk to his smile that made me grin.

           “I’ve got some yo mama jokes you haven’t heard yet,” Chuck offered.

           I looked up at him, hoping I looked very serious. “You talk about my Mom and I’ll superkick you in the teeth.”

           Cassidy laughed from where he leaned against the wall. “I would pay money to see that. Actually…” He dug his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out twenty dollars. “I’ll give you this right now, Mattie, if you do it.”

           “Come on, Orange. You know she’d never—”

           Before Chuck could finish, I’d leaned back and delivered a superkick that Dad and Papa would be proud of. The very tip of my sneaker bopped Chuck in the chin. It was habit to slap the outside of my knee at the contact, and the noise echoed down the hallway. He staggered dramatically and plopped onto his butt on the floor. I laughed.

           I lost my balance. Wobbling on my planted foot, I saw the floor come rushing up at me. An instant later, a set of arms locked around my chest. Cassidy took a moment to steady me before settling me upright.

           My whole body tingled. I could feel my face burning bright red as I smiled nervously. Cassidy grinned. “That was perfect.”

           I beamed beneath his praise. My heart raced in my chest. I thought I was going to faint. I couldn’t catch my breath for the life of me. He was so close, and his eyes were so pretty and brown.

           “Dad’s going to get me a ringside seat tonight,” I blurted out. The moment the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to slap myself. Why did I say that?

           Cassidy grinned even wider. “That’s going to be fun.”

***

           Papa took me out to my seat before the show started. “Be good. And enjoy the show, Tea.”

           I reached over the barrier and hugged him as tight as I could. “I love you, Papa.”

           He squeezed me hard and kissed my forehead. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

           After he went backstage, I watched the fans file in and take their seats. I loved the noise and the crush of people and the signs and energy. It was one of the reasons I wanted to be a wrestler.

           Dad, Papa, and Uncle Kenny were starting the show against Chuck, Trent, and Cassidy. I grinned as The Elite music thundered through the arena. Dad, Papa, and Uncle Kenny came out, paper money came flying out of the cannons by the ramp. My heart thumped and thudded in my chest as they came down to the ring. I shouted and waved, jumped up and down, screamed in joy. Each time I saw them was just like the first time—exhilarating and terrifying and beautiful.

           Once they were in the ring, new music started. Chuck and Trent came out, Cassidy right behind them. I always giggled when Trent and Chuck walked to the ring arm-in-arm or holding hands. They all looked so ready to fight, so determined to best my dads and Uncle Kenny. I waved at them too, screaming in happiness.

           They hopped into the ring together. Cassidy crossed the mat and shrugged out of his denim jacket, tucking his sunglasses in the pocket. Instead of tossing it to the ringside table, he rolled beneath the bottom rope and handed the jacket to me. He winked, and I felt the heat tear through me. I blushed and stammered.

           “Take care of that while your dad kicks my ass.”

           I clutched it to my chest and tucked it against my nose to hide the way a smile split over my face.

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