#PLEASE let us have even just a hint at it in the last ep!!

[karebear923]

Home literally kicking his feet as he talks to Peach

And them smiling at each other 🥰

[sunflowersbones]

Golden Eyes, Golden Lies

Warnings: This fic will contain NON-CON, DUB-CON, Blackmail, Manipulation, Violence, Drug usage, Pyrokinesis, SPOILERS from ep: 1. My warnings are not exhaustive, proceed at your own risk.

[Best friend! GOLDEN BOY/LUKE RIORDAN x reader]

18+ only. This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A new year, a new semester— now that the freshmen are here at Godolkin, you assumed; you would have more fun. A little more authority and bossing around. Little did you know, that your new year was going to be much worse than any freshmen’s.

NOTE: So this was supposed to be my first fic, but i couldn't find it to save my life and now it conveniently pops up. Anyway hello to my first oneshot on tumblr?. Tell me what you think of it, Reblogs are really appreciated, this is tumblr after all. I hope you enjoy!.

DIVIDERS: @firefly-graphics

*

You feel the golden sunrays hit your face as somebody opens your curtains. Slowly awoken from your slumber, your eyes refuse to open, clinging on to a little more sleep. You hear a chuckle around you as you feel a warm hand wrap around your ankle, dragging you down. A little more warmth than anybody else’s—a warmth you’re fondly familiar with.

“Uhh… Luke, five more minutes, please; I barely got any sleep last night.” you hear him chuckle again.

“Yeah, none of that sunshine, you don’t want to miss class; do you?, cuz if you don’t wake up right now, You will.”

You force yourself to rip your eyes open, and now finally awake, you stare at him in all his glory, all prim and tidied up, with no hint of exhaustion on his face; unlike you.

“And whose fault is it, that I’m so tired today?” you quip.

“Oh wow! It’s not our fault at all that you can’t handle a decent party night; I mean, you didn’t even drink that much.”

You hear Cate say, only now noticing her presence as she sits at the edge of your bed with a brown bag in her hand.

“What do you mean it’s not your fault? You forced me to come!.”

“Umm… I did not force you to do anything; I simply told you that I could, if I wanted to; you came of your own free will.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not.” 

“Uh, ok, fine; will you two get out now? I need to change.”

“Just change in front of us,” she says with a coy smile on her lips.

This time, Luke lets out a good laugh as he walks over to you, with a pair of your clothes bunched up in his hands.

“Don’t tease her too much, Cate; you know how she loses it when she’s flustered, right? Nearly hit me with a vase once.”

“Uh! That was when we were six, and you weren’t even that hurt.”

You say as you snatch your clothes, from his extended arm.

“Well, my feelings were hurt, sunshine.”

“Also, not all of us are shameless enough to walk around naked in front of other people, like Luke does,” you say, looking at her. 

“Hey! I don’t have a choice; I think I’d really enjoy it if I didn’t have to get naked in front of random strangers.” He says as she stifles a laugh.

“Now be a good girl and get dressed; I don’t want you panicking about attendance again. Cate’s brought you breakfast, and you can have half of my pineapple pie.”

Cate hands over the brown bag to you with a big smile on her face. “It's your favorite cheese sandwich.”

“For the last time, get out,” you say, smiling through your teeth.

Cate puts her hands around Luke’s neck as she says, “You know, you’re really better at getting her to do stuff than I am; maybe persuasion is your secret superpower.”

“Oh, really.” He smiles, as they kiss and walk away.

“Also, get a room.” You shout at them; you hear a muffled “We’ll just take yours,” by Cate as the door closes.

You sip your second coffee of the day as you walk over to the bench where Cate resides. Two more classes and you’re done for the day. Finally, you can just go back to bed.

“So what are your plans for today?” She asks as you approach her.

“Let me guess, nothing? God, sometimes I think you only get out and meet people if you have Luke by your side.”

“That is not true. I simply think that one should have a balance between partying and not partying.”

“Well, today's not the day. We’re going out, you're coming, and I’m dressing you up.”

“Uhhh, do I have to?.”

“Yes! Okay, yesterday's party was boring; this one is going to be good; I just know it.”

“Fine.” You promise, and join her and walk towards class.

You’re all dolled up and ready. The dress Cate selected for you from her wardrobe wasn’t much different from the one you had initially worn, but she insisted, and you couldn’t turn her down.

You walk outside to the parking lot to find Andre, Jordan, and Luke already there.

“Ooh, you look handsome.” you chime as you walk up to him.

“Blue’s such a good colour on you.” you even out a little crinkle, that was on the fabric.

“Hey, where’s my compliment? It took me a hefty amount of time to select this, you know.”

You raise an eyebrow as you smirk at him. “And still, you chose that, Andre?”

“You know; he’s your pet; you only ever care about him.” He complains, embittered.

Luke chuckles as he shakes his head. He runs his hands over your shoulder as he twiddles with your dress.

“This new?” he asks nonchalantly.

“It’s Cate’s.”

“Ah! Explains the glitter.” He tuts back.

“C'mon, Cate; say something.” Andre complains.

Cate, who has been engrossed on her phone the entirety of this time, now looks up as she calmly says, “It’s true; blue’s his colour. Too bad he’s named Golden Boy, or we could have named him Blue Boy or Ocean Boy or something…”, she says as you giggle.

“No, Cate; compliment me!. God, I can’t get a break.” With a wide smile on her face; she laughs back and says, “You look great, Andre.”

“Thank you,” he quips, arms crossed.

Suddenly, his attention turns to somebody else. “Hey! you’re here.”

You turn around to watch Andre welcome somebody, a girl; you haven’t seen her before; she’s adorned herself with a very pretty silver dress.

“Who is the girl?” You whisper to Cate.

“Idk; somebody Andre knows; she’s a freshmen.”

“A freshmen?”

“Well, you know Andre, if he thinks she’s cool, she must be cool.”

“Nice dress, though, right?”

“Yeah! Glitter; we need to get you one of those.”

“Absolutely not!.”

“Absolutely yes!.” She says; jokingly, with every intention to drag you shopping with her, as you two get seated in the car.

You’re a little buzzed out by the Molly Andre gave you. You look around to find Cate and Marie dancing, but you’re all alone on the couch. You wonder where all of the others went?.

Your head seems to be pounding uncontrollably. You decide that going out into the fresh air would calm you down a bit, but entering back might be a problem; you only got in because of Cate. Fuck it, you think to yourself; nothing about this party is all that great anyway; you’ll just loiter around outside.

All of a sudden, the voices around you become louder—a cluster of chaos—and suddenly, a hand holds on to your arm.

“We need to get the fuck out of here.” Luke says as he drags you along, you fumble; tripping over your feet.

His hand on your arm and the other now on your hip are the only reasons you haven’t fallen down yet.

Your head hurts, and you’re still a little confused. “What’s wrong, what happ— You hold your breath as you watch Jordan pull Andre along; the latter's face and hands are covered with blood; he seems to be in shock.

“What happened?”

“Some asshole bumped into Andre,”—he lets out a deep sigh.

“A girl's hurt; she’s bleeding out.”

“Well, then do something; call an ambulance.”

“No, it’s not gonna be here on time.” You hear Cate say as she moves past you, Luke’s hold on you tightens.

“We need to leave Y/N right now, or we’ll be in big trouble.”

You nod away as he drags you into the car.

You wake up with an unbearable headache as you suddenly remember everything that happened last night. God, it was so bad; you just want to go back to bed and sleep away the entire day. But when did school ever allow you that luxury? You also need to check up on Andre and the others. So you make your way into the shower to savour few more minutes of solitude.

Your mind seems a little scrambled as you walk; your eyes focused on the road. All of a sudden, you hear a loud crash. You look over to see a garbage can fallen with trash littered everywhere. With a little closer inspection, you see a stray of blood all around. As you approach, you hear uncontrollable sobbing. You turn around the corner to see a girl crouched as she holds onto her arm.

“Marie?” Marie looks up at you, a little shocked, before she starts crying again.

You walk over to her, alarmed, as you sit down next to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

The blood still seeping through her cut makes you wince, you place a hand on her shoulder to soothe her. “If this is about yesterday, you saved her. The girl is fine, I called a few people to check up. She’s absolutely fine, you’re a fucking hero.”

She looks at you with a bitter look on her face.

“And you know what prize I’m receiving for it? I’m being fucking expelled; what do I do? I can't go back.” She whispers more to herself than to you.

“What? No. That makes no sense; you saved her. That’s what supes do; if anything, you're going to be transferred into the crime-fighting department for good.”

“Well, I’m not; I’m being expelled. Brink said it to me, to my face, you know why?; to protect you and your friends.”

You look at her as she trembles; a new wave of tears wash through her.

“Look, that’s not going to happen, brink probably panicked; he’s like that about Luke, and you can’t deny the damage that would happen if people found out about what happened.”

“So I have to be your scapegoat.”

“No, you won’t; Luke would never let that happen; he would never let somebody’s life get ruined because of him.

“I highly doubt this is from the board, the board probably doesn’t even know; it was probably brink’s decision to nip it in the bud. People don’t understand that; even supes can’t save everybody, and they get angry when something bad happens because they think we did it on purpose. Luke has a good chance of getting into the seven, but if his reputation is ruined, that’s gone. Brinks worried; he’s just like us; he’s scared.”

“But Godolkin’s not like that; I know everything seems like a façade, with its polished words, corporate environment, and god, the never-ending fucking advertisements.”

Marie chuckles as you let out a laugh.

“They care about their supes, especially the ones who are capable for crime-fighting. You are the ones who protect the world now; they won’t just expell you for trivial reasons.”

“I mean, look at it this way, if they’re going to keep somebody like me around; who barely has any strength or control,” you slowly lift the trash can and move it back to its place as you swivel your fingers. The trash fallen out easier to lift; you put it back into the can. “You think they're going to let go of somebody like you? You're going to be fine, I promise.”

She lets out a deep sigh as she wipes her tears away.

“Telekinesis, huh? It’s cool,” she whispers. “Why aren’t you in crime fighting?”

“Well, they have Andre to do that, and I’m nowhere as powerful. And, uh, I used to have a few issues with control—actually, sometimes I still do. So, I think I’ll just stick to moving boxes for the theatre club. That’s probably the best idea.” You whisper, your mind reverting back to bad memories, and you snap back. You really don’t want to burden her with it.

“But hey, like I said, you will be fine,” you promise her as you squeeze her shoulders once more for assurance.

You drop Marie off at her dorm, encouraging her to rest for some time. On your way, you see Jordan walking past you with an alarmed look on their face. They don’t even bother to respond to your, “hey”; and you wonder just how difficult the whole assistant job really is.

You really don’t have any energy to attend classes today; your attendance is pretty good anyway, bunking classes a day won’t be a problem. You have to talk to Luke about Marie anyway, so you change your route and go to his place. You walk into Luke’s room only to find all the curtains closed; the room is entirely too dark for Luke’s liking. You wonder if he still has classes, then you notice him sitting on his bed, something you didn’t even notice on arrival.

As you walk towards him, you notice that look on his face; he’s been getting it a lot these days. A bad dream, and his mind just goes blank for a while. You’re too scared to ask him what they’re about, and he never gives you a straight answer.

You walk up in front of him; he looks up at you, and it’s almost feels as if he’s staring right through you. You don’t even know if he’s actually acknowledged your presence or not.

You slowly bring a hand to cradle his face. You thought that he’d snap or be surprised, but he doesn’t; he just leans into your hand, with a pained look on his face.

“I’m really tired; my head is killing me, I think... Maybe I should take a nap.”

“Yeah, sure, you want me to leave?”

“No. No, stay; just sleep next to me, please,” he says as he pulls you down to lay next to him. He hugs you a little too tight as you make yourself comfortable.

“It feels like the sleepovers we used to have when we were kids; too bad Sam isn’t here,” he whispers as he leans into you. Your heart breaks at the thought of it. Maybe all you need is a little rest, and maybe everything will be fine.

Everything was not fine at all. You wake up to absolute and utter chaos. Cate seems to be rambling things into her phone, and you can hear the shouting madness outside the room, even through the closed doors.

You sit upright on the bed, rubbing your eyes. The brightness in the room, not helping the situation. You stare at Cate; annoyed, as she stares back at you, her face blanched.

“Do you know?”

“Know what?”

“Oh god! You don’t know, do you, Y/N?”

“What?”

“Brink is dead,” she whispers, but you hear her all the same.

“What!?” you shout back. “How, I—

“I don’t know; Luke and Andre have gone to check on it; I think Jordan’s there too; idk, I hear they’re not letting anybody in either, so idk what’s the point of them going there?”

Everything she says seems to be flying through you; she seems to be saying everything and nothing, all at once.

“No, no; what happened to him? How did he die?”

“We don’t know, some are saying he accidentally lit himself on fire; others say he just left; now there’s this rumour that he hanged himself, which makes no sense because they also say that they haven’t found a body.”

She gets another phone call, and the story is being repeated all over again as you just sit there confused, absolutely and utterly confused.

The days after seemed worse; the authorities barely provided any information, and the dean made it clear that the only thing she wanted her students to focus on was their academics.

The whole thing became just another whisper—a little too quickly for your liking, but what bothered you the most was Luke. He’s been going about life as if nothing had happened, which would be normal for any other student, but he’s not any other student. He’d been so close to brinks; him acting like this doesn’t make any sense. Losing Sam had been so difficult on him, but at least he expressed his pain, anger, and sadness. But this was a whole other level of repression. You were concerned for his well-being; you wish he’d just talk to you, but every time you bring it up, he changes the topic. You’re terrified that suppressing all of these emotions is going to severely damage his mental health.

That’s how you ended up here, in your predicament, barely stable and unable to walk. You didn’t have it in you to deny or stop Luke from using or forcing Andre’s new drugs onto you.

You don’t even know where he’s getting these from, but this one was definitely a little too strong for you. The only reason you haven’t fallen off is because of Luke’s hold on you, but he’s barely coherent himself. You get to your room, and he immediately jumps on the bed as you lie down next to him.

Luke lets out a laugh in his intoxicated state. You turn over and look at him.

“What’s so funny?” You slur away.

“Nothing,” he says as he looks at you. “I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. It’d been so clear; the woods made it so clear; I still didn’t get it.” A timber of anger was in his voice.

“But I’m glad it wasn’t too late; better now than never, right?” He says, more to himself than to you.

“I seriously don’t understand anything that—

Before you finish your sentence, his lips come crashing on to you; you’re so surprised by it that your body goes off kilter.

His lips latch on to yours with even more ferocity, your weak attempt to push him away is countered by his hands roaming all over your body. His warmth suffocating you as you try to make sense of everything.

“Luke stop..., I… what? What are you—

“Shh.. don’t worry ok; I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I won’t let anybody hurt you.”

There’s a faraway look in his eyes that terrifies you. One of his hands press on to your stomach, “I’ll protect you, I’ll take care of you, let me take care of you,” he whispers; his hand travels down as he cups your core.

“Ah! Luke; no st— you latch on to his wrist with your hand as his lips find yours again; his hand evades yours without any hesitation.

He unzips your pants as he makes his way in. He bites on to your lip painfully so, and as he revels in your pain, you feel a finger press onto you as it makes its way inside. Too overwhelmed and intoxicated, you feel another one of his fingers slip into you as you push onto his chest. Your eyes flutter to keep you conscious, your body too weak and your mind too scrambled, you let your mind and body fall into the depth of unconsciousness.

You slowly awaken as you feel your head being split apart with pain. Your room still dark due to the curtains; You turn around only to feel a chill pass through your body as you see your clothes littered around. Memories of last night come back to you; A part of you is glad that Luke is not around, yet you wish you could talk to him. You wonder if he realises his own mistake, after all you were both drunk and high last night.

You didn’t blame him entirely, yet your heart ached at the idea of having to face him… or Cate. Your guilt ate you alive, even when you weren’t sure if any of it was your fault.

So you steadily avoided all your friends, you hoped nobody would notice, and even if they did, you could always just blame it on the approaching exams.

Your luck only lasted for a week, as you found Cate at your doorstep.

“I barely see you anymore,” she says, the sadness in her voice undeniable.

“It’s just that... There’s exams, assignments, and so much to finish.”

“Is that so?” she says, chewing on her lip. “I’ll help you with it.”

You’ve been studying for the past 40 minutes, and yet nothing seems to enter your brain; you're not even concentrating on what she’s saying. As you re-read the same page for the 4th time, you hear her say.

“Luke and I broke up, you know?”

“what!?”

“Isn’t that why you won’t talk to me, won’t come see me? because you think I’m mad at you.”

You feel your throat constrict, unable to say anything in your defence, although you couldn’t even decide on what to say.

“Oh, dear Y/N,” she says as she holds your hand.

“It’s not; it’s... It’s actually something I’ve always expected, you know, and things have been quite difficult lately. It’s just not the same as it used to be between us, and you’ve always cared for him, and he’s always protected you.”

“I didn’t even believe it when I first found out you were just friends; I’d always thought that one of you would snap out of it. But when Luke asked me out, it was too good to pass.”

“I don’t care,” she says as her eyes tear up.

“I found you and all of our other friends, and that’s all thanks to Luke.”

“I still care for him and you very dearly, ok? I want you to know that I’d never be mad, or fault you for realising the feelings you’ve always had.”

As she spoke to you, all you could do was stare at her; confused and unable to explain anything.

The initial confusion and dread after Cate’s confession soon turned into anger, and after her departure, you found yourself barging into Luke’s room. If he was surprised to see you, he didn’t show it.

“What did you tell Cate?”

“Is that what this is about, Cate? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me all these days?” He says as he comes near you in an attempt to hold you; however, you move to the side; uncomfortable with the whole situation. His face hardens at that, yet his voice remains calm. If you had known better, you’d think he was angry, but this is Luke, your Luke. He never gets angry, not at you.

“Luke I think there’s a confusion; you were high, I was high, I didn’t.. ”

“Cate is fine. Y/N, you’re just worried. Your pushing your feelings aside because you're scared, scared of ruining our friendship, scared that you’ll lose control; you're sacred that you’ll ruin everything like you always do, but you won't. I promise you; I’ll be there for you. I love you, and I always will.”

His words prick you, and you feel your anger bubbling up.

“No, no, no. I’m not… I don’t. Don’t you see I didn’t want to, that night? But you wouldn’t listen; I don’t want you; I don’t want this, whatever you’ve imagined it to be.” The frustration is now evident in your tone.

You’re both quite for a while as he stares at you; the air around you is tense.

“Are you saying that I raped you.” his voice unremorseful of his actions, you feel your breath hitch; you didn’t even what to think of it, let alone say it out aloud.

“I…”

“Really, cuz who do you think is going to believe that?”

His voice had turned cold in a way that was almost unrecognisable to you.

“Cate, Jordan, Andre, I mean, the entire fucking school knows how you are. How you look at me, how you follow me around like a little lost puppy, how you practically cannot exist without me; how completely in love with me you are,” he spits venom as he walks towards you.

“It’s because you’re my best friend.” You cry out, your eyes blurry with tears.

“Exactly, and best friends don’t go around spreading lies about their best friends.”

He takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh as he places his hands on his hips.

“I really don’t want to do this, Y/N, but you leave me with no choice.”

You see his eyes shine burning gold as he approaches you, the heat around you increasing. You move back and dash against the wall. In your panic, you move your fingers to throw a book at him from the shelf nearby. It hits him on the head; he stops for a second, yet it does nothing to deter him; if anything, he’s more angry.

You feel heat sear through you and for a spilt second you believe he might actually kill you. His hands finds yours; the fire in his eyes gone along with your charred ashen clothes.

You feel your whole body tremble, this cannot be happening again. Your inability to stop him makes you feel weak and useless.

You feel his arms wrap around your hips as he pulls you closer, your entire body pressed against his. You feel his heat seep into you, he presses his face into the crook of your neck as he breaths you in, you can feel his heart beat next to yours, but unlike your fast paced frenzy his seems calm.

He pushes you on to the floor and you feel his pelvis dig into you, one of his hands finds your jaw as he kisses you.

“I love you a lot Y/N, I care for you. I’m here to protect you, I won’t lose you, I can’t lose you. You have no idea how dangerous godolkin is, everyone here lies. They don’t care about me, you or any of us.”

He moves his head to look at you, he slowly leans in and snugs himself inside you. One of his hands moves to grope your breast as he slowly thrusts into you, you try to push him off but his other hand moves to hold your hands above you.

The pacing of his thrusts increase and you feel his hot breath on your face, your eye lashes flutter as you feel the tears stain your cheek. His hands moves to your hip and holds on to it so tightly you're sure it’ll bruise.

You feel a knot form inside you, your entire body seething in pain and pleasure. You feel the rush hit high as you come, clenching on to him as both of your moans get mingled.

His hands move towards yours as his fingers intertwine with yours, “You’re mine; mine to love, mine to protect and mine to punish, everybody knows it; but I don’t mind having to prove it, and I think I’ll just have to start with you.”

*

[just-orbiting-you]

Before you judge me I would like to clear it I’m a JK biased army and have loved seeing jikook since 2017. 3 episodes in, I realised this is the most detached jikook interactions I have ever seen. Some would say they are meeting after a long time (which is terrible imo if I see them as a couple) and there’s cameras so it’s obvious there might be awkwardness amongst the two but THIS also isn’t their first rodeo so all of it is pretty saddening. All that skinship doesn’t faze me anymore cause how JK was treating JM was something I wouldn’t even treat a friend (and never a LOVER) that I have met after years. Especially if that friend is sick and suffering. I tried to explain myself that maybe he tried to lighten the atmosphere by giving JM time to rest while entertaining us thru other ways but apart from jokes, there wasn’t a hint of reassurance from his side. And you could say he built a stone shrine but i just that’s how JK is. He’s spontaneous, saw some stones and built it. We don’t even see him wishing for JM as everyone says. And this is so opposite of the JK I have always seen with JM. Sure I got to see his caring side with how he shared food and drinks with the staff. That’s the considerate JK I love and have seen through years. But I couldn’t locate this JK in any way with his interactions with JM. Again they were meeting after a time… okay yes they were but in this same period that they haven’t allegedly met we saw JK giggling and asking JM to meet multiple times in his Weverse lives in 2023, watching compilations of JM related content and I thought it’s so obvious that this guy is missing JM and loves & cares for him and that’s what is the blatant difference in Wlives and AYS JK like it’s two different people.

I have never really been threatened by Tae’s presence in Jikook matters cause I simply never saw any thing romantic like in their interactions but Jikook has been a different story to me with all the growth in their dynamics, GCF tokyo, rose bowl and so much more. Through all this period, I have only seen the soft loving dynamic between the two so AYS has been a huge shock for me. Even if they weren’t together it would be sad but definitely okay for me but even in last episode JK said hope you get a bad stomach again this time or saying why didn’t his boat flip and trying to push the kayak and all of it was a no-no for me because it was surprising to see him say these things when I know he’s always been a considerate and respectful guy every time. Is this only me?

disclaimer

i understand this conversation was happening last week, but it is coming back again i believe. i hope my answer to this illuminates that i am sort of over this level of scrutiny of their words and actions, because it gets us nowhere and i am often left feeling a little sad. id rather let us enjoy this content for what it is right now and see what the hell comes out of it. also please be respectful if anyone chooses to add on to this conversation thanks.

my immediate reaction to the show was a similar level of confusion and slight disappointment at the perceived difference in ays' jikook. the bickering over the parking, the crude bathroom humor, and jungkook's comments about jimin's kayak like you mentioned all were also shocks to me too. but as time went on, i tried to let go of it. i needed the reality check that we will truly never fully understand jikook's bond.

we are used to finding small crumbs in larger scale pieces of content - sort of like ays ep 3. and oddly enough those are the softer moments. little little small things like jungkook's hand on his knee and his concern after jimin got hurt. that's the jungkook i am used to. but you zoom out of those moments and they feel different - why? we've never seen them just exist. this may be a regular part of their friendship dynamic that we have just never seen. i do think jungkook growing up does play a part as well. i found him to be much more loud, talkative, and brash then i previously assumed. but the reminder that they are people who will change overtime is very needed and valid.

i don't really know what to make of it, but i don't want to make inferences. yes, it is jarring in places, but i don't exactly know what it means for their friendship because... i am not apart of their relationship. the only thing i know is jimin still decided to spend time with him, keep the show going, and eventually enlist with him. jimin hasn't had problems speaking with jungkook about his actions in the past (rainy day fight call out), so i truly think if jungkook did something to hurt him, he would say so. i trust them to manage their relationships themselves.

i know this gets into speculation territory, but i feel like the camera may play a bigger difference then we think. jungkook says at the end of ep 2 that "we should become entertainers so good we can do this til we're 50." jungkook is also the one concerned with the theme of the show and are you sure?! as a whole. jimin just seems to be trying to make the most of his bad fortune on these trips. i think if anything, jungkook is turning to joking and silliness for the sake of the show's entertainment factor. also, we are only seeing select, edited clips from a 72 hour-long trip. jungkook does check in with jimin verbally a few times across the first two eps and i'm hoping he did help jimin out as much as he could, but that all could very well be cut out. from the editing point of view, it's not about those tender moments. why include jimin getting continuously sprayed with water guns and a bunch of poop jokes (aka embarrassing him on camera), but seemingly none of these quieter conversations and intimate moments that most likely did happen? it's for the sake of the show and its narrative. it would be really funny if a lot of this pops up in the behind the scenes footage. there's always a grain of salt you need to take while watching these contents, since we sincerely will never have a full glimpse into their relationship.

thank you for your ask anon! i appreciate your honesty on this show.

[chainedupgirlsblog]

✎ Commentary of Ep 7 ~ The Loyal Pin (Thai GL-2024) - Part 1

This episode could easily be classified as the epitome of romance, but this series is so full of romance it’s hard for us single to keep up with it!

Nonetheless, this episode we have lots of gifts, romantic gesture, and lovely letters!

We knew it! It was only a dream—nightmare. Anil hasn’t left, yet.

Aren’t they cute? Pin doesn’t need medication she just needs to hug her Princess 😭

Clingy, aren’t we? AnilPin 🫵🏼

Pin demands to be fed and Anil takes on the challenge. But we knew she will and so did Pin, even if she acts surprised when Anil wiped her mouth…

Get it together you two!

Here, they “argue” about who love the other the most. Pin asks Anil to let her love her more only for this time and Anil accepts with none hesitation. She was not about to argue furthermore with her girl about that, nah-uh ☝🏼

Then we have this scene… HELP ME 😳

First, Pin states that she’s worried. Worried about all those suitors she heard are pursuing Anil. And then Anil gets back at her with a stronger—most worrisome statement…

“Hopefully, you won’t be married to Mr. Kuea when I return from England” And DAMN, is that some foreshadowing? Please say no. I refuse!

Pin immediately reassures her stating she already made herself clear to everyone (even if some annoying mister still doesn’t get the fucking hint) but she’s ✨taken✨. Thank you very much!

She even encourages Anil to do the same by offering to left her marks all over the Princess’ royal body. If that’s some sort of crime against the crown or the country that’s only for Anil to judge and she’s pretty much into it so…

The way they look at each other here should be criminalized! Stop it right now! (don’t you dare!)

“What are you waiting for” SHE SAID 🥴

Surely my death, that’s what Pin is waiting for cuz god damn… the way she looked at Anil got me gasping for air~

Then we have the night previous to Anil’s departure and it’s just so sweet. Pin confesses she’s not strong enough to see her princess off and Anil asks her to wait for her as she gently caresses her cheek and then kiss her on the forehead… They’re so soft and adorable please 🤧

The next morning Anil is convinced that Pin won’t see her off but guess what? She does!! Are we even surprised they’re gone for each other!

Pin find the strength and go see her girlfriend off. They both end up a complete mess of tears (me along with them) but at least they see each other one last time :(

Here, we have a beautiful analogy by Princess Pattamika about Anil being like the wind or something like that, I don’t remember right now but it’s beautiful and I agree, Anil's free spirit is definitely like the wind.

Here we also have Pin sending a pink flower petal to Anil and look! The petal made it to England faster than me 😭

Here we have Pranot spilling the beans on Anil’s business once again, please he’s on a mission or something, always gossiping about his bestie’s love life.

But hey! At least that made Big brother help Anil on this hard mission of dealing and rejecting so many suitors!!

Please, look at Anil’s face. She’s a menace!!

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Finally I’m able to post episode 7’s commentary. Here’s Part 2

[dragonrider9905]

In Defense of Hunter's Caution

Hey guys, spoilers for Ep 14 of The Bad Batch. Just some of my thoughts.

I know that some people are going to be upset with Hunter for his reaction to the news about Crosshair but I just wanted to express some things so even though we all agree it is sad to see Hunter doubting Crosshair, maybe show the guy some understanding...think about his position a little bit.

Last time Hunter saw Crosshair, Cross said he didn't have the chip and didn't clarify when it was taken out. This could have been ages ago. The writers gave US immense hints when it was, so WE would be able to figure it out. We were able to observe Crosshair's change of character and obsessions and goals of when he went from "kill! kill! kill!" to "join me! join me! join me!". From watching Clone Wars, the body language between Hunter and Crosshair (also the fact that Crosshair was the only person Hunter didn't roast to the looks) they were really close before this. Going from feeling like you know someone to having that person burn you in the hardest of ways is difficult to deal with and it seems that Hunter isn't dealing with it. He's ignoring how he feels. He's angry at himself too. There's a lot of baggage here. Also how Crosshair is harder on Hunter than everyone else--sometimes when we are hurt by people who are closer to us, they are the harder to forgive, right?

Wrecker has a huge heart. It's his nature. He's like, "WOOOOW Cross turned on the Empire! Let's go fellas!!!!" because we see how easy going he is. He would have taken the low percent rate that Cid gave them happily a few episodes ago, he's happy playing with the kids. He's so innocent! We can't compare that to Hunter who is responsible for all of them...he's torn. What if Crosshair IS trying to hurt them again? They found some semblance of peace, finally, and to have that threatened so soon is a huge blow.

Also consider this. Maybe Hunter is trying to convince himself that it isnt' true because .... if it is....his BABY BROTHER is being held by a crazy evil scientist who wants to do nasty things to him. Maybe its a NO NO NO PLEASE NO you HAVE to be WRONG. because if Crosshair is being hurt? He'll rip down the facility to get to him. He's still hurt by Crosshair so it won't go back to normal but if he knew for a fact what we know, he'd go to hell to save Crosshair. Even thinking about what they could possibly be doing to Crosshair sends him to a 'no it can't be true, has to be a trap' because if it is, how on earth can he sleep until he saves his little lost brother? How long has he been there? What will he be like when they see him? Will he even still be alive? IS he still alive? So many ugly things to consider. It's easier to think it could be a trap so he can stay a little sane during the mission. And he never said *not* to go. He just pointed out it could be a trap like he set before. Being responsible for everyone isn't easy. It's something he has to weigh carefully. He doesn't have the freedom to say, 'to hell with my life if its a trap' like others may have because he still does have a responsibility to his brothers.

[vyladromeave]

04 and 08 for the ask game?

04. what are your favorite episodes/scene?

I've answered this one already here, but why not list another ep i like? I still go back to S1 Ep 68 pretty often!! It's one of the last episodes we're given where Garroth is written well imo, but he REALLY shines in this episode. I really love how Laurance and Garroth's dynamic is handled, + we get our first hints of Shadowknight-hood affecting Laurance more, AND we even get quite a bit of Garte stuff/overall politics things that I find very interesting!

This is honestly the golden era of S1 to me, and some of my favorite bits of how they handled storytelling like, mechanically. (Having the NPCs unpromptedly just start going off at eachother was very cool. Very rarely did NPCs have conversations with eachother that weren't facilitated by Aphmau before that point.) ITS A GOOD EPISODE! The back half is a little boring, it was definitely like that because Jess spent all her energy making the front half cool, but the front half WAS very cool, so I can excuse it.

08. alternatively, what's a dynamic you really want to see in canon?

THIS IS AN EVIL EVIL QUESTION BECAUSE THERE ARE SOOOOO MANY. lets just get Vylad and Literally Everyone down just to start. this is a joke but also not.

Vylad and Emmalyn (their intense irene discussions. Vylad obviously has some sort of academic knowledge of irene judging by the fact that he knows about Irene's Dimension on his own, and brings it up as a thing Zane would do BEFORE Aphmau can explain it. I think it would be cool for Emmalyn to have scholalry discussions around Irene with someone who also has that knowledge)

Vylad and Dante (Oopse Gene Sucks Hope We Dont Bond Over This. It makes sense in canon why Aphmau discouraged their meeting because she didn't want Dante to freak out about more shadowknights and she doesn't know about the dynamic between Vylad and Gene very well, but also I think hearing that validation would be very good for both of them considering Gene is literally gaslight king #1. There aren't a lot of people who can relate to being hurt by him directly who are also able to tell the tale.)

Vylad and Katelyn (HER SEEING JEFFORY IN HIM IS SOOOO INTERESTING AND THEN THE ONLY THING IT EVER EVEN KIND OF GOT USED FOR WAS SHIPPING BAIT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. theyre some of the two most Emotionally Congested characters there are itd be sooooo interesting to me if they like. they dont even have to talk about it. its fine. they can just hang out silently together. ok. they can vibe together. i think they would enjoy that. please.)

and for some non-vylad options so that I'm not just talking about him for the rest of this post: Dante and Zoey NEEED to have a bigger dynamic with eachother considering they were the big Stayed Behind For 15 Years guys and barely anything ever comes from it im so mad

Zianna and Aphmau is a dynamic that can really only be explored in a post-S2 timeframe. but i think would be very cute :) I can see Zianna being very motherly towards Aphmau (or mother-in-law if thats the kind of thing ur a fan of) when she finds out that Aphmau doesn't have/remember having a figure like that in her life already. + I think Zianna would respect Aphmau a lot as being both a responsible lord and a mother herself. I think the two of them would get along very well :)

Similar to above in regards to timeframe, I think Travis and Garroth would be a fun dynamic to explore. Garroth strikes me very much as a "I Can't Hate Them, They're Family" kind of guy just cuz thats what he was taught growing up, despite having an undeniably negative relationship with people like Zane and Garte. Travis being so openly a #dadhater would help Garroth work out some of his own issues regarding how he feels towards members of his own family. And from Travis' pov, Garroth gets built up a lot over the course of S2, and hearing all these tales and stories only to meet him in person and discover he's kind of just a nervous wet cat of a guy is very funny.

(ask prompts from here!)

[julietapark]

WHAT IS IT????

I want to share with you some thoughts …

What it is that keep us jikookers so into this supporting troop???

I was wondering… After seeing this last Jk’s live I can forget his eyes, the way he looks to his JIMIN is mainly full of admiration and love, of words unspoken… and some nostalgia…But he knows very well the path JIMIN has walk, bettter than any one else, because he has been his main companion, they are a pair that has grown as artist TOGETHER, always TOGETHER and it must be difficult for JK remember all that events at the same time being so far of JIMIN.

But that little smile in the line “I won’t stop even if they mock me” of “Set me free” is just the “I know that now you have overcome everything, Jimin”. They are so into each other and they both now.

I think that’s why they keep on talking/replaying to each other. Definitely they no longer live together, something maybe the pandemic broke. But they are in each other’s mind, that is why sometimes the romantic dinamic between them seems to be the thing, but I’ve came to the thought that they have something that’s really even more deep than romance/sex.

Of course I think that “that” has happen between them or maybe still happpenig ( that’s why I insist in a relationship in their own terms) because:

They are to hot to avoid.

Jk ( both ) has a notable jealousy that only prior physical attachment can produce.

There are some obvious horny videos of them both… behaving weirdly because of their interactions.

BUT

Jimin is a flirty/sexy man that has write a song called “LIKE CRAZY”… so I can’t believe he hasn’t been with anybody else but JK… he is hinting that he is BI… so… “LET ME HAVE A TASTE”

AND

Ohhh lord JK!! He misses working with JIMIN.

Hear me now: he will have a song in his new album that will be sang with JIMIN, he needs it!!

I truly agree with all the blogs and twiter accounts that think that the last part of “LETTER” is about them both, because they are a tandem, they are an unbreakable artistic pair. The rest of the song is about all the members and JIMIN’S feelings. And for us to know.

BUTTTTTTTTT

!!!Why after all this years, all this rumors, all the devoted jikookers like us doing our supporting thing, all the crazy cult attacks, all the reaction videos ( because they see them) after everything , WHY they don’t say anything.!!!!

WHYYYYYY

Why after the release of LETTER, JIMIN himself hasn’t say a word about JK participation in the EP????? ( because it’ a secret letter that talks in his last part about a secret?)

WHYYYYYY

Why JK doesn’t has shown up in any prerecording???? ( it will break the net)

WHYYYYYY

Please some of you please answers me, I need to understand!!!!!!!

WHYYYYYY

[hopeymchope]

Summer Time Rendering

"Summer Time Rendering" is an anime that sounds like it'd be totally up my alley on paper. Like: unusual supernatural antagonists, time-looping heroes, quirky oddball characters, sudden and tragic deaths, etc.? I'm so down!

And the fact is, it WAS totally up my alley! For like... 88% of its run, I was ALL IN. I have very little to say about the first 22 episodes that isn't just GUSHING with love.

But there are 25 episodes, so you can probably predict where that's going. :P Even so... that's just me! And the wrap-up didn't retroactively kill my love of everything that came before, either! So please don't let it deter you from watching this, because it's a hell of a ride.

For now, let me braindump a pile of thoughts:

First off? Yes, the title sucks. It does a terrible job of conveying what this show is gonna be like, but I suppose that probably helps for anyone going in blind.

Our protagonist, Shinpei, left home to study to become a chef about a year ago. Now he's coming back to his island home because a close friend/adoptive sister of his has recently passed away. He returns to find people who've missed him as well as people who kind of resent his leaving in the first place. There's an immediate undercurrent of tension as well as tragedy to the proceedings, and that quickly escalates into a mystery when the facts of his friend's death are called into question. It doesn't take long before the mystery escalates to deadly levels.

The nefarious forces at work on the island are far more powerful than anyone anticipates. I'm trying not to spoil what they are and how they work, because it's just so cool IMO, but.... Shinpei and his network of friends find themselves rapidly dealing with enemies far beyond their understanding — and honestly, learning how they work and how they can fight them is part of the fun. It's fascinating stuff that I'm kind of surprised to have not seen before. The nature of the enemy force leads to a lot of really tense, exciting showdowns where — partly thanks to the "time loop" gimmick — death is a very real possibility for damn near any character.

....but at the same time, those deaths aren't just throwaway. Because this story's time-loop gimmick is also its ticking clock. Our hero can only loop successfully if certain conditions are met, and even then his number of loops is limited. It helps raise the stakes in a manner you don't usually see in these kind of stories.

I think it's safe to say that four characters get the primary focus in the series: Protagonist Shinpei, sisters Mio and Ushio, and novelist Hizuru. These four get the most layers to them — I'd argue that Shinpei, Mio, and Hizuru even get more development than Ushio, who is more of a trope-y character that can be quickly understood. But all of them are likable and distinct, and none of this is to say that side characters such as Sou and Ginjirou don't get moments to shine and display that there's more to them than first meets the eye. Even so, there are definitely some characters who are part of Shinpei's circle of friends who don't receive much development. Testu? Tokiko? Yeah, I'm looking at YOU.

But y'know, I sometimes see people say that they an ending/climax of an anime lost them at the last lap, and I never truly understood that feeling until now. Episode 23 suddenly throws ALL the rules out and takes us into an alternate dimension that was never even hinted at before, which is reached via means ALSO never even hinted at before, and.... this becomes the core element of how the series is resolved in the next two eps. Which feels like a cheat of the HIGHEST ORDER. But I guess they at least explain the new dimension of reality and its rules reasonably well, so there's still some stakes on the line. It's just... hard to commit to caring that much when suddenly all the established logic and rules are out the window with no buildup, y'know?

But you know what? I'll take a semi-nonsensical ass-pull ending over one that betrays the established characters for shock value and bullshit. Ultimately, I still loved this series so much that I went online and IMMEDIATELY read the spinoff/sequel short-story manga because I couldn't get enough of these characters. My heart wasn't stomped upon by this ending! I can still love them and love the series! That's the important message here.

Oh, one more thing: It is SUPER weird how the true nature/origin of the "Haine" character is revealed very casually and just... nobody discusses how this completely upends their understanding of her. It's basically just shrugged off. That was WEIRD.

[visd3stele]

If you still write for Criston can you write an imagine based on ep 4 but its Rhaenyra younger sister he is attracted to??

still write? i'm just getting started ;)

i hope you like it!

masterlist ; requests

a/n: so, usualy i don't include smut in requests if it's not specifically asked for, the more i do is hint to it lightly. but since it's a request about that episode, the one so focused on the meaning and discoveries of sexual life, and it is the got universe, i thought it's safe to assume you're ok with it. if not, beware the warnings below and let me know through another ask.

tw: kind of spoilerish (better read after you watched the episode), virgin!reader, virginity loss, smut, piv, innocent!bold!reader,a dime of jealousy, talks of forced marriage, old typical mysonigistic rhetoric about the female body, behavior and a woman's sexual activities let me know if i missed anything

Sleepless nights

A gust of wind blew from behind, whipping loose strands of hair against the flurry breathing in your face. H/c locks flew around your head in a messy crown. Though your vision was blurred - with piercing tears and whips of hair - you felt no fear. Up in the sky, between the clouds floating above King's Landing, you were more at home than you ever were inside the confinement of the royal palace. Here, with just your dragon to keep you company, your body eased the tension gathered over the day. A wild laugh boomed where no one but your ears could hear. So unlady-like, your tutors would say, just like the grin spread on your face.

You found it easier to leap into the princess act expected from you when on the ground. But on the back of your dragon, a mighty creature you, alone, tamed, the well of bottled up feelings broke its walls. You felt powerfully and powerful.

"Don't you love this, Attor? Freedom," you closed your eyes to feel the moonlight, smelling the scent of air before rain. The dragon whispered its roar of agreement, longing his neck for a pet on the head. You happily obliged.

Poison. It caused reason to gossip when you named your dragon such. What ill intentions could hide behind? But you simply thought it fit him. A dragon with no fire, only the venom that should lit it. A silent dragon whose roars aren't heard and who is sneakier than even some spies you've met.

"Yes, I can't get enough of this."

"Y/n!" You couldn't stop the sigh escaping your lungs. You love your bigger sister more than the lengths all the dragons in the realm could take you. But you didn't want to go back just yet.

"Now? Really? Can't I stay a bit more? Please."

The night was young. Barely a few hours passed evening. Rhaenyra usually came to take you home only shortly before dawn. When you would complain about wanting to see the sunrise like you used to do together as children. She'd put out a small opposition, just for show as she wanted to do it too. Then you'd return together to the castle, tiptoeing your way to bed.

This time, however, Rhaenyra seemed to be on a rush.

"No, y/n, come on."

"But why?" You whined.

"I have something to do tonight and I'd rather know you out of trouble."

"What troubles can I possibly run into in the sky?"

"You'll find a way. Come."

"Fine, but only if you tell me what's so important that you have to take away my last few days of enjoyment until I shall be wed."

Rhaenyra's face fell. Your father has been trying to find you both a proper suitor. He agreed to let you choose your husbands if you do so in the time he desires. You and Rhaenyra have been travelling around the seven kingdoms for that exactly purpose, but none of the men either of you saw raised your interest. Now, you were waiting anxiously for your father's picks.

"Don't be like that. Father might come around. He haven't eyed anyone for either of us."

"Yet. But don't try to evade me! What are the mysterious plans of tonight, Rhaeny?"

"I- I'm not sure, actually. Daemon wants me to accompany him. In the guise of a boy. It's like an adventure!"

Another too big smile for a proper princess spread your lips. Rhaenyra's happiness made you happy as well. She rarely took time for herself. To feel, to explore - her own personhood if anything else was off limits. Unlike you, who had your nightly rides above storms or through peaceful stars.

"Swear to me you'll tell everything tomorrow."

"Thank you, y/n!" Rhaenyra flew her dragon closer, enough so that the both of you could hug. "I will tell you all of it in the morning," she beamed. And you descended.

You and Rhaenyra were making your way to the palace after you took care of the dragons for the night. She had to meet Daemon and change and you... well, you didn't know what you'll do, if you were to be honest.

"Princess..es." A soft smile made its way to your lips, heating you cheeks before you could even comprehend the stumble of words. Your body reacted on its own accord to the low, sweet voice. Ser Criston Cole was on patrol duty, it seemed. Or at least for the first half of the night, when another guards would replace him and his fellow.

You never missed it, the change of guards. Whether you were spending the first hours of moonlight watching Ser Cole laugh with his companions, stretch or jump and do push ups to keep sleep away until eventually his features loosened, his smile but a fading ghost lost in a yawn and he stumbled over his words to say goodnight on his way to bed, or you were swirling around the palace roof on the nights he'd take the second shift to see him run energically to the other guards, patting them on the back and cracking some jokes you never heard, you took the habit to sight the handsome knight as often as you made it possible.

Rhaenyra smiled back at him, wishing him an easy night as she moved past. She was the one he noticed first. The first to call after. You were a mere second thought, you mused sadly.

"Good night, princess y/n," he said politely as you walked past him. But he spared you no glance. Your smiled was tight when you lightly bowed your head to him in recognition and moved on.

How come him and Rhaenyra were friends, but he acted around you so... proper? Back straight, eyes fixed in front of him as if he were a statue only coming to life to serve and protect when ordered or needed, arms folded behind and chest flaunted proudly, representing the royal family. Why couldn't he be himself with you too? Like he was with Rhaenyra: laid back, easy going, speaking his mind freely, even allowing himself to be her confidant. And he would share with her too, like friends do.

Ever since the tournament, your heart skipped a beat every time you saw him. With time, your breath caught in your chest even when you heard his voice, or long, joy filled laugh echoing in the halls. You couldn't help the jealousy rising in your bile every time Ser Cole and Rheanyra were together. They get so close in such short notice! Meanwhile you and him were still on title before names basics.

"How did you do that?" You asked out of breath as you ran to catch up with her.

"Do what?" Under any other circumstances you would have thought she's teasing you. But tonight Rhaenyra was distracted.

"Forget it. It's nothing important. Where are you to meet with uncle?"

The older Targaryen princess, as big sisters often seem to, fell pray to the need to offer comfort to - and brighten the mood of - her little sister. Even not knowing what issued such ache in your weak tone.

"Would you like to come with us?" She said, instead of answering your question.

From where they have fallen in self pity, jealousy and despair, your eyes surged forward to meet Rhaenyra's in excited surprise.

"It's only fair," she shrugged in answer to your silent question of approval. "I ruined your night, so you might as well pay me back."

"I won't ruin anything!" You protested, seemingly offended. But a large laugh bubbled in your chest, hard to contain.

Your excitement was chipped, but not bend, when Daemon faltered for mere seconds before reluctantly agreeing to take you with them. Rhaenyra and your uncle were walking fast in front of you, never once unlocking their hands. You struggled to keep up. Perhaps they were trying to lose you? That wouldn't make any sense, you argued to your own mind. They wouldn't leave you alone in the city at night. And what for would they even be tempted to do so?

All thoughts emptied your brain as you came to a sudden halt in Daemon's heels. He led you and your sister to a brothel! Rhaenyra's pupils dilated in the night. Curiosity, raw thrill and pure joy buzzed through her body. You could feel it even a few steps behind. To be in such a place, dressed as a boy, should have been a matter of fantasies. But here you were.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want to," your uncle said, turning to face you quickly before turning his attention back on your much more eager sister. "I can call for a guard to keep you company in a tavern nearby. One I know will never speak of it."

You bit at the inside of your cheeks with your canine. Though a virgin and a princess, you were aware of the activities that went down in a pleasure house and what they entailed. Sort of. You used to eavesdrop conversations between guards as a child. Sneak and steal some of the forbidden books your tutors warned you about being unproper for your delicate, feminine eyes. You read them in the sky, feet dangling from Attor's back as he floated easy too high up to be seen.

But standing in front of the brothel's door right now, close enough to smell the too sweet odor of mixed perfumes and scented candles you felt your heart constrict painfully in your chest. The slapping sounds of skin on skin contact, the loud groans and breathy moans chilled your blood and sweat that begin to form on your skin.

Unexplainable fear overtook your senses. You couldn't do it! Of course, a part of you wanted to. March inside, pick a handsome man and get it over with. Pop the flower everyone told you to nurture and save for your husband. But the feeling that this wasn't how it's supposed to be wouldn't evade you. No matter how much you'd try to convince yourself that you can't possibly know that, your mind wouldn't let go of the maddeningly aphrodisiac love making reaped from promising pages.

"Yes, please."

Daemon looked relieved. He ordered both of you to stay still, hidden in the shadows nearby, and rushed to get the up mentioned guard.

"Are you feeling... well?"

"Yes, Rhaeny, don't worry for me. Worry for yourself. You seem like you could become addicted to this place and you haven't even entered."

"It feels freeing."

"I know."

"Then why won't you come in? I'm quite scared too of the unknown of it. But it's not a panic worthy fear. Like when father married Alicent -" you both winced -" it's more of a thrill. I want this. Whatever this is, wherever the night will lead me to do."

"You're excited."

"Aren't you? We're actually in the town. On our own. Without thousands of eyes judging our every move. People didn't even recognized us!"

You smiled at your sister's happiness. Once again, it was enough for your own to surge as well. You shook your head. "Have fun, Rhaenyra. But don't do anything stupid. I'll get drunk waiting for you. I've never been drunk before."

You both burst in incontrollable giggles. That's how birds must feel when they fly around the world, freed of any cage, following only their instincts, you thought. And their bellies, the growl of your stomach added. It made you laugh even harder.

That's how Daemon found you. Teary eyed, voice hoarse from laughing, bodies trembling with shakes of hiccups, remains of wild, sister with madness, joy.

"I see, my prince. This is how you got them to agree with such an idea. You got them drunk."

If you were, indeed, intoxicated, his voice was enough to sober you up. Ser Cole, in all his tall, polished glory, smirked next to a confused Daemon. It wasn't a mean smirk, nor a teasing one you saw on you dearest knight's lips. His eyes, so dark as the deepest nights, seemed even bigger now. You realized his pupils grew in size, flooding the warm black of his irises with something more feral.

The same look was in your uncle's eyes, fixed on Rhaenyra. But where Criston was wearing himself like a calculated predator, a dragon if not of blood, then of demeanor, Daemon had a goofy, adoring smile in the corner of his lips.

"I haven't done anything, Ser Cole. They are here on they own, sober, accord."

Not wasting anymore time, your uncle grabbed your sister by the hand again and stormed inside the pleasure house. Alone with Criston, your care free spirit from earlier grew heavier. You noticed the look in his eyes, which you concluded to be lust, but you thought he sighted your sister. And the thought weight more than it should have.

"I was told to stick at your side, princess, in your nightly adventure. And to never speak of what shall happen. Please, don't pay me any mind and do as your heart desires."

You turned on you heels with not a single word uttered to your guard. What could you have said? You are what my heart desires, but you act so distant and cold I'm afraid that will never be? You wouldn't dare. So you choose the safer option: silence. And because of that you missed how his shoulders, held high and proud, slogged at your behavior. How he closed his eyes and bite back a sigh, bowling and relaxing his fingers at his sides.

You reached a small house that smelled like piss and shoved your way inside. Cheap bear stinking like dragon food crumbs splashed from knocked together in cheers cups. Dirty dishes traveled from table to table, not once being washed or changed for the clients. But at least the food looked good.

"Are you sure you want to be here, princess?" Ser Cole eyed the tavern with warry distaste.

"I want to see what life truly feels like," you said in earnest as you sat at a shacking table. Criston scoffed.

"You live in a palace, wear clothes adorned in jewels and gold and ride dragons for fun. You do live the life. The good one."

"I am locked in a beautiful prison, but prison nonetheless. I wear dresses I can barely move in so nobles could approve of me. Gawk at my figure, judge my manners and my speech and bid for my hand to my father. But the dragons are the good life, indeed. I cannot - and don't want to - argue with you about that."

Your hushed blurt out rendered Ser Cole to silence. It wasn't until your food came when he spoke again. Much to your delight as you couldn't believe the first time you had a chance to befriend the man you have fallen for you poured your heart out and scared him.

"I must apologize." You cringed as he went back to the cold, dutiful speech. "I assumed... I didn't know."

"I suppose I overreacted as well. I know nothing of your life before King's Landing. I know these are struggling people, who seek oblivion for a night and would gladly take my place. It's my first night to experience freedom. And soon to be the last. I am to marry one of my father's chosing, but there are so many things I want to try!"

Criston's jaws clenched at the mention of marriage. He stuffed his mouth with the game's meat to have something to focus onto in his attempt to regain composure.

"And you pick the dirtiest tavern in town?"

"It was the closest," you smiled at his teasing tone. Feeling an iced wall finally breaking down between you two. "I was hungry."

"I can see that," Criston laughed. He, then, took a handkerchief from a hidden pocked in his armor and leaned over the table. His movements were wry, doubtful. So much unlike his confidence in battle. Locking his eyes with yours, he brushed the material over your mouth.

You tried to hide your surprise, block the instict of jerking away from his touch. You didn't want him to believe you didn't enjoy it, like he seems to think you dislike his self appointed lesser company.

"Thank you," flustered and happy beyond understanding, you leaned your cheek in his touch. E/c eyes burning in pits of mysteries and lust. Though there was something more you didn't want to decipher. Didn't want to hope. Could it be love? Affection? Admiration, like Daemon watched Rhaenyra with? It was better to hope than to be dissappointed by the truth.

As Criston broke eye contact, breathing more loudly than before, kicking his leg under the table and druming his fingers on the shacking wood, you considered your options. Tasting alcohol for the first time in your life, possibly even getting drunk sounded good. Fun, even. But standing face to face to Ser Cole, having the chance to bond, or something more...

You still trembled a bit at the thought of the brothel. Except now it was mostly with regret. You have wanted to see what happens. Understand why people want it so badly. And you beat yourself up from chickening out. Just that now, you could place a reason next to your hesitation. You didn't want simply anyone willing to take you. You wanted Ser Criston Cole.

"Maybe I can take you riding one day," you spit out before you could overthink it. You, Criston and Attor, alone in the sky. It sounded like peace should feel like.

Ser Cole gulped, stopping his body to a still statue. "Ride," he cleared his throat, eyes bulged in his head, "riding, princess?"

"Yes. With Attor. Dragonback riding. You seemed to be taken by them earlier."

On the word taken, he chocked again, brown curls spasming around his head as he denied it. "I mean, yes! Please!" He seemed to come back to his senses from a chaotic dream. "I would like to fly with you."

Your small, hesitant smile brightened the dark tavern. It looked like Ser Cole was just as nervous around you as yiu were around him. Perhaps, then, he saught your friendship as you did his. Or maybe even more.

The next of the meal happened in content silence. At least on your part. Criston brushed his teeth together, resuming his hectic body movements, avoiding to look at you at all costs. Specifically avoiding to see the way your mouth wraps around bite impaled on the fork between taking it in your mouth. How your throats bobs as you swallow. Closing his eyes against the satisfying sigh you let out once you were full.

Ser Col couldn't be more thankful for thick armor he had on. Nor could he be more annoyed by it. The layers of metal and cloth painfully strangled the bulge growing in his pants at the mere proximity of you. He shouldn't have clean your mouth. The touch of your lips, even through the material of the handkerchief sent shivers down his spine. He would have come in his pants if he hadn't remind himself you were to be wed soon. Criston knew he stood no chance for your hand. But hope is a cockroach. It always finds a way to survive, no matter how many times it's stomped on to.

When you pushed your soft cheek into his roughened palm, the dreams of a day when he could snake a hand around you and catch your lips with his in a long, passionate kiss, freely, were born anew.

"Is something wrong?"

"Hm? No! No. What could be wrong, princess?"

"Y/n, please. I have to confess I jealous of my sister for quite the while now. I cannot stand these formalities from you."

Skies above! What you were doing to him! When he arrived at King's Landing, princess Rhaenyra has been a friendly voice in a sea of steel strangers. But it was you who took his breath away. With your sister he found his words easily. He could relax. Around you? He needed to impress. To hear you were feeling the same warmed his heart, dangerously so.

"Y/n. Very well, then, please call me Criston. No more 'Ser Cole'."

"Deal."

"Where to next, y/n?"

You bit your lips and his eyes fell immediately to the white of your teeth shining against the flesh of your mouth. He licked his own. It gave you the confidence you needed to ask what you wanted of him.

"Take me back to the palace."

A crease at the bridge of his nose. "You're done with the adventure tonight?"

"Not even close, Criston. I was just thinking of a different kind of adventure." You tried your best to mimic the suggestive looks you read and heard about. But you didn't know what those were or how they were supposed to feel like on your face. You only hoped you managed to pull off an inviting, sexy demeanor.

Your handsome knight gulped, reaching for his helmet to stand up. Hesitation playing in his eyes. You could tell he was trying to find the rigt words to tell you off.

So you snatched the heavy, shining helmet from his fingers while he was lost in thought.

"Princess – y/n," he corrected himself shortly. You only beamed at him, a fleeting smirk beginning to blossom on your face. Blinking innocently at him, you took short, but many, steps back. Not once breaking the innocent haze staring in his lustful one.

"What is it, Ser... Criston?"

"My helmet, please," he extended a hand, speaking with difficulty. It encouraged you. Despite its weight you twirled it to take a better look at it.

"Oh, this little, old thing. You want it back?"

"I need it, yes."

"Well, if it's so important, come and get it." And you took off running.

That bubbly laugh you could only allow at night echoed in the crammed streets of King's Landing. You bumped into people who paid you no mind, other than, perhaps, here and there, some angry mutters or bitter warnings to be more careful.

Every now and then you'd steal a brief glance to your back. And you felt yourself become even lighter with joyous spirit each time you did. Criston was tailing you. A bashful smile creeping on his face when he, not able to take his eyes off you, ran into passer byers. As soon as the path was clear, though, his lips spread in a large grin from ear to ear.

"I can do this all night, y/n. How much can you hold up?" He teased.

"I guess we have to find out. Or..." you trailed off, coming to a quick stop. You held the helmet in front of you with both hands, urging Criston to step closer.

You stood beneath your chamber's window, where a thick tangle of ivy climbed from the ground to the crenels. You used it to climb down your window for your nightly getaways with Attor. Or climb up to avoid the guard and fetch your silent dragon from there. The window was open.

Criston neared in. Still keeping you at arms' length he tried to get the helmet without entering your space. Sharply, you brought it closer to you, forcing Criston to stumble over you.

Both if your hands were now on the helmet, but neither seemed to notice. Your chests heaved under heavy breaths, almost touching, if not for the layers of clothes between. Matching smiles worn on your faces, but you wouldn't notice, gaze locked in each other's eyes.

"Or," you breathed out, his proximity setting your already tired heart on an even quicker beat. "We could tire in a different way."

Saying so, you touched his cheek. Warm skin met your ghostly brush, sweaty from the run. You tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and once you found your fingers linked with the soft, rich curls, you couldn't move it away.

Criston's head fell on yours. Tired to fight desire any longer. The brave knight, the winner of all battles he took part in, found the one he wouldn't have a chance against. You, on the battlefield of love, lust and need.

Foreheads still touching, Criston brought his hand to your face, cupping your chin in his large palm. Large enough to cover your frame and brush a thumb over your lips.

"Are you sure? I don't think I'll be able to stop once I have even the smallest taste of you."

"Yes. I want you, Criston. Whatever it is you have in mind, do not stop."

His grip tightened on you – not enough to bruise, but enough to tell you the effect you had on him and his self restraint – as you felt the vibration of a groan passing through his body.

"You aren't aware of what you do to me, y/n."

Likewise, you wanted to say. "Than show me."

And before you knew it, his lips were on yours. The soft touch tingled your whole body and instinctively, you plucked your own lips to meet his. A satisfied moan of his was swallowed by the kiss as you let your head fall back and lids closing over your sight.

You pulled back for air, goofy smiles plastered on both of your faces. And, as if there was a thread sewed between the two of you now, you clashed your moths again. And again.

This time, his hands roamed over your body, feeling every curve, every softness of it. You sighed, pushing yourself more and more into his hands.

"Skies above!" He exclaimed in a rushed whisper of admiration. You smiled sheepishly, catching your breath.

"I want to feel you too," you said, walking your fingers over the polished grey of his armor. He stepped back, only enough to have space to untie the strings keeping his panoply in place. With slow movements, Ser Cole pulled it over his head.

He took your hand, then, placing it on his chest. You passed your palms over his upper body, feeling his muscles through the cloth hiding his body from you. When you reached the hem of his shirt, you snuck your hands underneath. He gasped, but circled your wrists with his hands to keep yours in place when you, in the panic surging through your veins, tried to remove them.

"Keep going," he rasped out. You stepped closer. The feel of his hard skin, warm and sharp under your touch, his scent - a surprisingly pleasant mix of steel and beer - filled your being. His presence possessed you, consuming you with need and want. And that you caused the same to him only strengthen the feelings.

"We can climb to my room. Window's open."

No sooner said than done, carried in the arms of Criston, you found yourselves in your dim lit room. Only the clear night sky, bright with stars and moonlight shone above the two you, illuminating your steps towards love.

Ser Cole lowered to the ground, dropping his head on your lower belly, inhaling deeply before lifting your shirt and tracing a line of light touches of his lips, forehead and nose on your bare skin. Your hands flew to his hair, threading through it as an overwhelming pleasure like you never felt before took over you.

Now Criston lingered under your breasts. Each time he exhaled a ticklish breath of hot air, your toes curled in your shoes. You pulled at his hair, grazing the skin at the back of his neck.

"Impatient, princess?" The amusement in his voice would usually melt your heart, but now it had the opposite effect. Annoyance bit bitterly in the back of your mind. So you pulled away a mere half an inch to push your clothes away. In a moment of bold desire, you stripped of every piece of material covering your body.

The sight of your naked form wiped the smugness off Ser Cole. Lips parted slightly, swallowing hard and breathing heavy with awe sparkling in his eyes, Criston grasped your arms, rubbing up and down their length slowly. His eyes searched every part of you with grateful respect: from the blissed out expression on your face, to the perched up nipples against the cold, from the bump hooding your sex to the toes rolling against the floor.

You closed in the gap, hot skin brushing against rough clothes. You tipped on your toes, circling his neck. A shiver passed through as his one of his palms came to rest low on your back, the other one digging in your hips. Partly to steady you, partly in attempt to sooth the insatiable growing need to feel you.

Your fingers danced around the hem of his shirt. Making sure to touch more of his heated body than the piece of clothing. Eventually, you traced the knotted laces, pulling softly at them until they came undone. Criston took his shirt off and, in doing so he arched his back, pushing his hips and torso into you.

A moan escaped you, stumbling over your feet in surprise. Criston caught you, letting his hands descend to your ass and squeezing it lightly. It earned him another moan, music to his ears.

Your head was resting on his shoulder, too heavy with pleasure to keep it up. An idea bloomed in your mind. Without thinking too much of it, you kissed his neck. Criston groaned and you gained confidence. You let your hands travel on his back as your mouth explored his front. Collarbone, chest, shoulder.

Criston's pants tighten against your thigh. On cue with the gasp you released, Ser Cole fell to his knees. As his hands knitted your breasts, his lips tickled your body.

When his mouth touched your pubic mound, you involuntarily pushed from him.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, getting up and giving you more space.

"No, don't be. I just... can we take it slower?"

Criston nodded keenly. "Of course."

The next time he approached you, he waited for you to make the first move. You pressed your body into his and kissed him hard. Soon, your moths were open, tongues pushing against each other, twirling in one another, teeth clashing in desperation.

He begin to suck at your neck, sloppy open mouthed kisses leaving a wet trail behind that, when wind blew from outside, rose goosebumps on your shivering form, hardening your breasts. Criston looked for permission, or any sign of hesitation in your eyes before taking one nipple in his mouth, massaging the other with his hand.

Your nails sunk in his shoulderblades, your breath coming out in hitched pants, turning your moans in cries of bliss. "Criston," his name evaded your lips. The knight froze for just a moment before straightening up and telling you to jump, driven by the sound of your pleasure speaking his name.

Criston secured your legs around his waist. His hardened erection throbbing against your wet folds. An itching sensation arouse in your pussy as your insides lit on fire. While Criston attended to your upper body, licking, sucking, biting softly, all making the knits in your belly tighter and the empty feeling in your cunt more annoying, you rolled your hips against his.

"Y/n," he groaned, somewhere between want, delight, and needy distress. His palms seized your sides, keeping you in place. An unsatisfied scoff, that sounded more like a whine, made Criston chuckle.

"Criston," you moaned, trying to escape his grasping fingers digging in your hips. "Please."

"Patience, princess, my sweet y/n. Patience. I want to make this special for you."

And how he did it!

He walked you to the bed, lowering you on the rose scented mattresses. He kissed you once. A long, slow show of love rather than lust. Then he untied his pants and let the drop to the ground. Criston wanted nothing more than to climb over you and worship your body how he knew best. But he resisted the urge, giving you a sight of his naked body.

Just as he thought, you prompted on your elbows, taking him all in. Then you crawled to the edge of the bed. Eyes piercing his own, you touched shyly the hard member between his legs. A whimper he'd never admit to echoed in the room, causing a giggle from you.

More sure on yourself, you closed your fist around his cock. You pumped it, enjoying the twitch it gave in your hands, the reactions you caught from Criston. Whose hands were now playing with threads of your hair, trying to stop himself from rutting into your fist.

In a spur of confidence you dropped your head and kissed the tip of his leaking dick. "Y/n," he yelped. "Tease." He could barely talk.

"Not at all. Just turning back the favor." You winked at him, lying back on the bed, pulling him over you.

Criston's hands trapped your head between them as he lined himself with your entrance. "Are you sure?"

"You beamed up at him, pushing your chest into his to capture his lips. "Take me, Ser Cole, Criston, I'm all yours," you said before letting your head fall on the pillow.

A small laugh broke the silence, speeding through your knight's body. He laced your fingers with his, spreading your bodies for each other. Then he touched the tip of his cock to your aching, pulsing walls. Your body reacted as on cue, clenching around it, not enough to fill you but enough to leave you wanting for more.

You raised your hips in an invitation to go deeper. Criston obliged. Listening to every shift of your body, he took his time pushing inside you, giving you time to adjust to him spreading you. Once again, your moans turned into blissed out cries as he begin to move, scratching that itch just right.

Ser Cole wasn't silent himself. Biting his lips to contain the sighs and groans, tightening his hold on your fingers to keep himself from going too fast.

You set the pace. He thrusted into you and you clenched around him, as if your pussy wanted to grab to his cock and never let go. You rolled your hips to meet him as he moved his own as if dancing.

The fire knots in your belly grew tighter and tighter and with them the strength with which your walls pulsed around him. "You're close, aren't you?" He whispered sweetly, cleaning your face of hair stuck to with with sweat. You did the same for him as you urged his head closer to yours.

"Let go, y/n," Criston murmured in the kiss. "Let go for me."

And you did. Arching your back, releasing the loudest cry so far, you came around him as he rode you through your orgasm.

Criston was still hard inside you, you noticed, even though he stopped moving. An urgent twitch spasming against your folds. He wanted to pull out when the highs of your pleasure calmed, but you held him in place.

"You didn't..."

"I know. I don't want to risk it."

Of course you knew how children were made. The thought simply didn't occur to you so far. "The maetrons have ways to prevent pregnancies," was all you said before dropping a hand to his lower back and pushing him inside your pussy.

"The things you do to me," Criston groaned. But snapped his hips again. "You feel so good," he murmured. Or rather, he wanted to. But it came out as a content scream as he shoot his own orgasm inside you.

Panting, chuckling, pecking each other's lips, none of you wanted the night to end. You couldn't agree to be empty again, not after he fit so perfectly in your body. He didn't argue too much. He didn't want to leave either. He'd live in your bed for the rest of his life, if he could. And you'd gladly let him.

You went down again when his cock perked up inside your cunt. This time, Criston switch you over, guiding your hips as you straddled his wait on top of him.

Ser Cole came faster the second time and only from watching you bounce on his cock, back arched, breasts jumping on your chest, hair flying around your head and whipping his face when you kissed.

He asked you for a rematch. Then you asked him to show you more. More positions, more ways to draw pleasure from your partner and from yourself. By the time the sun rose, you were both worn out, tired, sweaty, but blissfully happy.

[lcksndkys]

Pairing: JJK x reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny hint of angst

Word count: ~8k

Summary: Save a drum, bang a drummer. 

Warnings: one tasteful semi-nude sext, brief flashback of male masturbation, discussions about conception, an unholy amount of nipple play, blowjob, fingering, pussy slapping with a dick (but like, romantically), unprotected sex within an established relationship, multiple orgasms, creampie

A/N: This is my first attempt at creative writing… ever. Borne from my horny imagination and a thirst dream, this piece is an epilogue of sorts. S/o to @jinpanman ​ and @wwilloww ​ for being the wind beneath my wings and the floaties around my arms. Also, big thanks to Willow who made the banner <3

There are two things you know are happening tonight. One: Beyond the Scene is out celebrating the completion of their newest EP. Two: your husband, the drummer of Beyond, is going to come home, high off the adrenaline of a successful night, and fuck you into oblivion. Your period tracking app that you both have been studiously monitoring over the last few months has notified you that you were going to be ovulating over the next couple of days. 

You slip into one of Jungkook’s oversized cut-off tanks and a pair of crotchless black lace panties that you know he likes. Checking in the mirror, you see a generous view of side-boob due to the cut of his shirt and you turn around and decide to forgo bottoms entirely—they’ll be discarded soon anyways. Your husband may be out with the boys tonight, but you’re determined to wait up for him. It’s not that late after all. You roll over, pulling a bottle of lube from the nightstand and set it out for later.

Lying in your shared bed, you check your phone again, reading the last messages you sent to each other.

[9:51pm] Jungkook-ah: i’ll be home late babe. dont wait up. love you.

[9:54pm] You: … but i’m ovulating today. I want you.

You haven’t heard from him since. Tapping to the camera icon on your phone, you decide to send a little more encouragement. You quickly snap a photo of your torso covered in his shirt, making sure to give a tasteful glimpse of your ensemble. 

[11:39pm] Jungkook-ah: fcuk. dont temnt meee idk when ill  b home

You sigh. He's definitely drunk which means that even if he did come home soon, he’d be too wasted to finish the job, more likely to fall asleep seconds after washing up. Tossing your phone onto your pillow, you roll to Jungkook’s side of the bed. Breathing in his clean, slightly sweet scent, you let it comfort you as your eyes close. Your mind drifts off to the first time you ever saw Jungkook as a man. 

Sprawled out on a twin sized bed, there was barely enough space for the two of you. Propped against the headboard and wearing nothing but a smile, he laced his fingers behind his head and cockily encouraged you to take pictures. “They’ll last longer,” he had said. Cheeky brat. You had instructed him to pleasure himself as you watched. “Tell me what you think of when you touch yourself, Koo” to which he replied, “You in my clothes with nothing on underneath”. He had whined, panting and desperate to hold off his climax with the hopes that he might get to feel you wrapped around him. 

You made him promise that night would be a one off; an itch scratched. And above all, he wasn’t to speak of that night to anyone, especially his sister- your best friend. At the time, an emotional relationship was not something you were ready to pursue. And certainly not with someone so intimately linked to your inner circle. So when it happened again, and then again, you proposed an easy benefits-only relationship to which he quietly accepted. You didn’t know he had been secretly yearning for something you could not yet give him. Despite trying to push him and your emotions away, Jungkook persisted, and with time and patience, you let him into your heart and let him show you the meaning of true love. 

With a love-sick smile plastered on your face, you drift off to sleep, plans for tonight all but forgotten.

_______________________________________________

Eyes still closed and hanging on to the quickly fading wisps of your dreams, you unconsciously feel around the sheets for your husband. When your hands come across nothing but layers of bedsheet and blankets and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s body heat, you roll over seeking the comfort of his embrace. 

Sitting up, you see that he must’ve moved you during the night towards your side of the bed before climbing in behind you. Realizing you’re still in his shirt and the sexy panties from last night, you huff out a groan of annoyance. 

You get out of bed and make the short trek to your bathroom to wash up. Jungkook never missed an opportunity to “practice” baby making. The thought that he was avoiding a session in the sheets with you makes you press the bristles harshly against your teeth. 

Upon returning to your bedroom, you see that at some point Jungkook had plugged your phone in to charge. You open up your app and double check that you’re still within short the ovulation window. 

The shuffling of slippers alerts you to your husband elsewhere in your shared apartment. As you leave in search of him, you notice he had put the bottle of lube away. 

Padding out towards the kitchen, you can hear the tinkling of dishware and cutlery. The smell of toast floats through the air as you spot Jungkook at the counter pouring his cereal into a bowl of milk. Endearing. You smile, remembering he once reasoned that adding cereal to milk ensures you won’t be left with any soggy bits. 

Coming up behind him, he startles a little with your quiet arrival. You wrap your arms around his middle, pressing a light kiss between his shoulder blades, and nuzzling your face against the wide expanse of his back.

“I missed you last night, baby,” you coo. 

Turning in your embrace, Jungkook wraps one arm around your shoulders and uses a pointer finger to gently tilt your head, aligning your mouth to his. He leans down to give you a sweet, chaste kiss in greeting before pulling away. 

“I’m sorry I was out late. But I’ll make it up to you ok?”

“How about you make it up to me right now?” you wiggle your eyebrows suggestively, stepping back from his grasp. 

His eyes rake up and down your figure, pausing to take in the long expanse of skin showing from under his cut-off tank. You turn your torso slightly, lifting your arms up overhead to smooth back your bed head, allowing him a generous view of your tits through the large armholes. You smirk to yourself knowing this simple outfit is one of his favorites on you. 

“- oh, fuck,” Jungkook breathes, feeling the beginnings of desire stir in his sleep pants.

“I was so ready for you last night,” you continue, planting your hands behind you on the kitchen counter opposite of Jungkook. With a hop, you sit yourself upon the cold hard surface and try not to cringe at the sudden change of temperature on your bare rump.

You beckon towards your husband with a crook of your finger. 

“I even wore one of your favorites,” you purr. Slowly trailing a hand towards your hip you pull the hem of your—well, his—shirt up, exposing some of the black lace panties you had worn. 

Jaw clenched and brow furrowed. You enjoy Jungkook’s rapt attention.

“Come closer” you plead. 

When he shows no sign of approaching, you lean back onto your elbows and prop one foot onto the countertop. Parting your legs, you smile victoriously when Jungkook’s eyes drop immediately to your exposed core. Thank goodness for crotchless panties.

His throat constricts at the sight of your pussy, framed in black lace, and bared lewdly for him. 

“Fuck,” he growls lowley. You watch his throat bob again swallowing down a moan. He looks from your eyes, to your lips, and down between your thighs. Cock hardening, his desire rises hot and heady at the sight of you glistening before him.

Seeing him grow in the unforgiving fabric of his grey sweatpants, you grin at his visceral reaction. “You know I’m ovulating, right?” You bring your other foot up onto the counter further spreading yourself out for him. “Fuck me, baby. Fill me up with your cum.” A little dirty talk was nearly always enough encouragement to get your husband started.

Doe eyes wide, he is torn between his carnal desires to ravish you on the countertop and his mounting emotional distress. 

When your husband doesn’t immediately react to your proposition, you know something is wrong. You hop off the counter and come to wrap around him. Jungkook has always been a shy boy, and as he got older, grew into a reserved man. He had a small social circle, knowing first hand that some people had no qualms with using him for his services. He was the golden boy. Jungkook was good at things and always has been- drums, sports, computers, video games, writing music, singing, sex. Many people sought to use him and had gotten away with it. And at first, he was eager to please; to prove himself worthy of the attention. But it wasn’t long before he grew cautious and began to keep a selective few close, including you. 

You've always seen him. And you see him now, eyes tight with emotion he's been holding back from you. He hasn't done that in years. 

Your arousal from earlier has all but dried up, evaporated with the sense that something important is weighing on Jungkook. 

"Do you need me to listen or find a solution?" you ask him. 

"Listen" he replies softly. 

You take his hand, leading him towards the couch. Sitting down, you part your legs pulling his back to your front. You wrap all four limbs around him and lay back to let his weight press the both of you into the cushions. His hands immediately go to stroke along the soft skin of your shins. You tuck your face into his nape, ghosting soft kisses along the skin available to you. Holding him against you, you feel Jungkook slowly melt, head leaning back against your shoulder. You know he’ll speak when he's ready.

“I just… Lately I’ve been feeling like you only want a specific part of me,” says Jungkook quietly. His hands go to tuck back some of his hair behind his ears- a nervous tell he's never been able to kick. "And I guess it kind of reminded me of the time from before we officially got together, ya know?" 

You feel your heart crumble in your chest at his admission. At that time, you weren’t ready for what Jungkook wanted to give you, convinced that the age gap and BTS’s rising fame would ultimately lead to disaster. Thus you had pushed for a purely physical relationship. He had agreed mistakenly believing that having your body, but not your mind or heart, was better than not having you at all. He hoped that time and love would help you change your mind. Luckily for both of you, it did. 

You want to say something to comfort him, but you remember he asked you to listen. You stay quiet, giving him a safe space to speak.

"And I know we're trying for a baby, but lately there's no intimacy when you make love to me. It's like once I finish, it's over and you push me away to lay with your legs up against the wall." 

You feel his ribs expand as he takes a deep breath, and then another. In, then out. 

"You know how important aftercare is to me," he continues. You do know. Jungkook is a romantic; being held and praised for a job well done has always been just as important as the actual act of sex for him. "And if you're just trying to fuck me, I don't know if I want it." 

There's a few moments of pause.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to have sex?” you ask softly. 

Jungkook’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “No! I mean- I want it, trust me, I want you. But the last few times, it felt like you just fucked me until I came.” Jungkook goans. “You didn’t even finish. Makes me feel like a bad lover."

You cringe remembering that the last time you had been intimate with your husband, you straddled him and then rode him fast and hard until he spilled his seed inside you. The whole ordeal lasted 3 minutes tops, and then you were rolling off him onto your back leaving him to clean up on his own. 

Sensing he was finished, you start to apologize. “I had no idea you felt that way,” you start. “I never meant for you to feel that way. I’m sorry.”

“I just- I love you so much, and I would give anything to make you happy,” he says quietly. His hands continue to absentmindedly traverse the length of your legs.

Your hold around him tightens, a silent I love you. 

“What do you wanna do today, baby? Today’s all about you,” you promise. You’re ready to give your husband the attention he craves. 

“Anything?” Jungkook asks, craning his head back to meet your gaze.

“Mhmm.”

Jungkook smiles, pleased with your enthusiasm. 

“I promise you I’ll give you a creampie, but can we please just play super smash bros first?”

Seeing the child-like wonder in your husband’s eyes, you can’t help but chuckle at him. Jungkook has always been easy to please and competitive to a fault. 

“Sure, Kook-ah. Maybe I’ll even let you beat me” you joke, fingers digging into his ribs causing him to laugh and squirm from your grasp. 

Jungkook unwinds your legs from around his waist to set up the gaming console. 

_______________________________________________

After several rounds of super smash bros, Jungkook has other ideas in his mind. Pulling you onto his lap, you’re forced to part your legs to straddle him. He fingers along the hem of your shirt pulling up the backside to expose your bare ass. 

“Ah, you wore these for me?” he asks, hand rubbing circles along your quickly heating flesh. 

“Depends. Are you ready to take them off me?” you retort with a wink. 

Giggling, Jungkook lunges for you, wrapping his strong arms around you and burying his head into your neck. You feel the gentle pressure of his lips suckling and tilt your head further back to grant him more access to the sensitive skin of your neck.

He laps against your throat, making you moan out in satisfaction. Your arousal starts to leak onto Jungkook’s grey sweats as you absentmindedly grind your bare cunt against the stiffness growing there.

“Mmm, fuck. Let’s go” you pant, urgently tapping at Jungkook’s shoulder.  

Walking into the bedroom, Jungkook slowly lowers you down to the ground, letting your front drag along his, your soft curves trailing along the firm planes of his chest. The moment your feet touch down, you gently press a hand against his chest- right over his thrumming heart- and encourage him to sit at the edge of your bed. His eyes gaze lovingly up into yours, a small smile hanging on his lips, waiting for your instruction. 

You tug at the hem of his shirt. “Can you take this off, baby?” 

Jungkook eagerly nods, licking his lips in anticipation. He reaches back, hooking his fingers into the neckline of his collar and pulling his stupidly oversized shirt over his head in one swift motion. For a second, he lets you admire his body. He works hard to achieve his physique and enjoys knowing you’re your attraction towards him has never waned. 

You swallow down a groan as your eyes trail from his chest, dusky nipples pebbled with arousal, down his abdominals, towards the bulge in his sweats. Your husband is a beautiful man, inside and out, and he is all yours. Tonight and forever.

Climbing into his lap, you straddle him and cup his face between your hands. Jungkook needs emotional intimacy, and you’re prepared to deliver.

You kiss his forehead. “I love the way you think. You’re quiet, but so clever, and I wish more people could see how your brain works. You’re considerate of other people and so fucking humble, qualities I really admire about you.”

Moving down to his eyes, you place twin kisses over his closed eyelids. “I love the way you see the world. When I’m tired, you remind me that there is so much beauty in the mundane, and I’m so lucky to see it all by your side.”

You reach down for his hands and press your lips along the knuckles of both his hands. “I love the life you’ve helped build for and with me. People always say you’re good at everything, but they don’t see how hard you work to earn it. I respect you so much for that.” You play with his fingers- somehow long and delicate, but strong at the same time- and lace them together.

“I love your nose,” you continue, pecking the tip. 

“But-”

“No interruptions, Jungkook” you hold up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “I know you’ve always thought it was a little too big and round when we were younger, but it shows how much you’ve grown into yourself over the years. You are so sexy- both on the stage and off.”

You pull back in time to see him fighting down a shy smile at your praise. “Besides, a man should have a big nose,” you wink. Unable to hide his toothy smile or blushing cheeks, you continue.

“I love these cheeks,” you say, planting sloppy kisses over his face. “When you smile - a real, genuine smile- your whole face lights up. I hope our children inherit that.”

You plant more against the beauty marks on the bridge of his nose and under his lip, on the faint scar high on his cheek. “So beautiful,” you murmur against his skin.

“These are my favorite lips. You were the first man that I believed when you told me you loved me.” You press your lips against his, kissing him gently. Tilting your head for a better angle, you press forward more ardently, and part your lips further to slide your tongue against his.

When you pull back, Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, face craning forward to chase your kiss. You card your fingers through his hair and push him back enough to look into his eyes again. 

Your lips continue their loving path down his face, nipping along his sharp jawline and down his neck, paying special attention to his sensitive pulse point. Jungkook whimpers in appreciation encouraging you to work color into his skin. 

“Most of all, I love your heart.” Your arms wrap around his torso, hands caressing up and down his back as your head tips down to press your mouth against his chest, just left of center. “You are patient and kind and romantic. You show me every day what true love means, and I am forever grateful for that. You have all of me, and you always will. And tonight, I want to make you feel good because I love every part of you. Even the parts you don’t particularly like yourself.”

You continue to leave wet kisses along his clavicles and throat making him moan quietly.

“Lay back for me, baby” you say, and he allows you to push him onto his back.

Your body follows him down prone on the bed, allowing your comforting weight to settle atop him and press him into the sheets. Linking your hands, you bring them up to rest by his head. You reconnect and kiss him senseless, lips and tongues moving seamlessly in a dance well practiced over the years. You continue until he’s whining, until you feel him thickening further in his pants. 

Lips descending downwards, you continue a fiery trail along his jawline, hands caressing his neck and chest to maximize his pleasure. Evidence of your love blooms down his neck as you continue a path towards his chest. Perched on his lap, you grind against him as you take a nipple between your lips and begin to suck.

“A-ahh fuck”, Jungkook pants as your lips wrap more securely around his pebbled bud, tongue flicking against him. Your other hand rakes along his other pectoral, thumb catching along its twin and you rub circles over him with your thumb. His cock, which had begun to throb when you love bombed him, is now fattening with arousal.                                                                                

You trail your lips across his chest making sure to provide equal attention to his sensitive buds. Dusky and shining with your saliva, you continue down his abs, licking the contours of his hard earned muscles. Jungkook continues to quietly moan at the sensation of your soft, warm mouth slowly moving south along his body.

Sitting up a bit from his supine figure, you tug down at the band of his sweatpants. “Can I take these off?” you ask, slipping your fingertips into the waistline of his bottoms. He nods his consent and you push them down as he lifts his hips up, effectively removing Jungkook’s remaining piece of clothing. 

As you move to stand from his lap, he immediately sits up as if pained by any distance between your bodies. You give him one last, sweet kiss on the mouth before settling down on your knees between his spread legs. His cock, perfectly framed between powerful thighs, is hardening rapidly and attempting to defy gravity as it bobs in the space between your bodies. Licking your lips at the sight of his leaking length, you settle on the floor and reach for his base.

“Hold on” he says, stopping you to reach across the bed and pulling his pillow from under the covers offering it to you for comfort. Your heart swells at his consideration and you accept it gratefully. You place it under your knees for an added cushion and make yourself comfortable on the ground.

Maintaining eye contact you run your hands up and down his thick thighs letting your fingernails lightly scratch along the sensitive skin there. Each pass brings you closer and closer to his cock, subtly twitching in eagerness to feel you wrapped around him. Keeping your eyes locked on his, you wrap a hand around his base and feel him harden fully in your grasp. Bringing your lips down to his weeping tip, you run your tongue up and down his slit, then slowly in a circle around the engorged head leaving a ring of precum and saliva in your wake.

“F-uuuck” Jungkook keens as you continue to tease him with your tongue. “Please. More, please.” 

Your lips immediately close around him, surrounding his throbbing cock with the wet heat of your mouth and begin to suck tasting his musky flavor. Popping off, you run your tongue up and down to spread moisture along his shaft; your hand will have to cover what your throat cannot take. He is not profoundly large, but he is more than thick and long enough to satisfy you.

Unable to mask his desire, Jungkook pants as your mouth works up and down his rigid length. You take him as deep as you can tolerate, gagging lightly when you feel him slide down the back of your throat with each pass. The hand not grasping his base is rubbing soothing circles along his hip and inner thigh, amplifying his pleasure.

“Mmm yeah, you’re doing so g-good,” he groans as you continue bobbing, hand furiously pumping whatever won’t fit in your mouth. He weaves his fingers into your hair, encouraging you to take him deeper into the depths of your throat. Eyes starting to water, his other hand wipes at the tears in your lash line as you continue to enthusiastically blow him. 

Jungkook’s volume steadily increases along with the pace of your mouth and hand as you work over his cock. You continue to suck him off sending white hot pleasure through his veins. “Oh shit- shit.” Jungkook stops you as his impending orgasm begins to crest. “You need to stop, or I’ll cum” he breathes out. Though your mouth is no longer on him, your hand continues to slowly jerk him off.

“Aren’t you ovulating?” he tries to confirm with you. “I need to put it in you,” he insists, teeth clenching together as your hand glides up and down the full length of his dick twisting your wrist with each upstroke.

“Tonight is all about you - about us,” you shake your head. “I want to make you feel good. Can I do that?” you ask as your other hand travels from his hip to cup and gently fondle his balls.

He whimpers in pleasure as you continue to stroke him.

“Do you want to cum in my mouth tonight, baby?” you purr. No longer able to formulate a coherent sentence, he nods his head aggressively.

“Good boy,” you tease with a smirk. Your mouth returns to his cock and joins the hand pumping his shaft. Years of learning each other’s bodies has taught you the tell tale signs of your husband’s orgasms and you can tell he’s close. Very close.

Hollowing out your cheeks, you apply the suction you know he has never been able to resist. You’re determined to suck his soul from his body, gripping him firmly as you furiously work his throbbing length exactly the way you know he likes. Your mouth focuses on his mushroomed head, lips sealed around the tip and tongue lapping against the sensitive frenulum.

Jungkook desperately tries to stave off his release to linger in the wet heat of your mouth. It’s been a while since he’s allowed himself to finish down your throat and he wants to savor it. “Ah, I’m so mad that you’re so good at this” he groans, earning a muted giggle from you. Stuffed full of cock, the vibration sends a thrill up his spine. 

You know Jungkook’s cumming before he can warn you. It starts with a subtle lifting of his balls as they prepare to empty into your eager mouth. Eyes squeezed shut and moaning wantonly, he chants your name over and over as he begins to orgasm. You continue your determined ministrations as his shaft pulses in your grasp.

“Hmmmph- ahh, fuck yes! Oh fuck, so good,” Jungkook whimpers as ribbons of cum burst across your tongue and hit the back of your throat. You quickly swallow his load as he erupts into your mouth. You continue stroking and sucking Jungkook through his high, helping him ride it out until he gently pushes you away when he feels the burn of overstimulation. 

“Good?” you smile up at him and let go of his wilting length to lick at a stray bit of cum from your thumb. You wipe off the remaining spit on your shirt.

“Amazing,” he replies, smiling dazedly down at you. 

You allow him to pull you from the ground up onto the bed with him, laughing when your knees pop loudly in the quiet of the room as you stand up. Giggling, you curl up against his side listening as his heart rate evens out to a steady rhythm. You can't be bothered to care that his skin is tacky with a light sheen of sweat.

You lay against Jungkook for a few minutes as he basks in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. He pulls you tighter against him, tipping his head down to kiss you for a blow job-well-done. Tasting the residual flavor of his cum, he groans against your mouth, enjoying your combined essences.

Jungkook rolls you onto your back, continuing to kiss you with fervor. The sound of lips and tongues clashing fill the room as the two of you enjoy the simple intimacy of being together. Reaching down, Jungkook spreads your legs apart to make room for him to lay comfortably between your thighs. 

“W-what,” you’re breathless as his lips leave your mouth and travel down your jaw.

“Mmm,” he mumbles against your skin. “It’s your turn now.” He nibbles along your sensitive neck, goosebumps rising with his light touch. 

You run your fingertips up and down his back, scratching along the peaks and valleys of his spine. Leaning his weight into one arm, he uses the other to push up the hem of your shirt, ghosting a hand under to cup a breast. He palms greedily at the flesh as he continues to kiss you passionately. 

“I wanna see you,” says Jungkook. “Can I take this off?” he gestures at his cut-off tank you’re still wearing.

Criss crossing your arms and pulling up by its hem, you bare your chest to Jungkook’s eager eyes. His gaze drops down to admire the bouncing of your tits as you wiggle out of your top. Propping up on his elbows, he ducks his head to capture a nipple between his petal soft lips, coaxing it into a stiff peak with gentle suction and the lapping of his tongue. When your back arches in pleasure and you clutch his head to you, Jungkook takes the opportunity to slide his arms under you to hold you securely to his mouth as he worships at the altar of your breasts. 

“Baby, yes, you’re so good to me” you pant, feeling your arousal generously leak from your core.

Eyes closed and relishing in the sensation, you whimper, sending one hand to grip his long, dark locks and feeling the prickle of his freshly trimmed undercut. With a hand in his mane, you feel him unlatch from your tight bud to plant wet open mouthed kisses around your areola and across your chest. He stops over your heart, lips lingering to feel the rapid thumping rattle your sternum.

Generous with his attention, he moves to nip and suck around your neglected breast. He slurps your nipple into his eager mouth, tongue swirling to tease it to a hard peak. Jungkook's diligent stimulation of your breasts sends sparks of pleasure down to your cunt as he continues to lap at your pebbled beds.

“More, please,” you whine, bucking your hips upwards, hoping to encourage him to touch you where you need it most. 

Hearing you beg so prettily for him slowly coaxes life back into his spent cock. He feels himself begin to swell again against your thigh. Pleasuring you has always been incredibly arousing for him, and he knows with a several more minutes of rest, he’ll be ready to fuck you senseless.

Pulling an arm out from under your torso, Jungkook leans his weight onto one elbow and sends his free hand down between your legs to the treasure between your thighs. His lips pursed around your nipple continues to suckle and tease you into a frenzy. 

The room fills with sounds of your mewling and his blunted goans as he plays the familiar song of your body. His hands brush against the soft black lace as he spreads your legs, positioning you to his liking. 

“So wet,” Jungkook acknowledges with a quirk of his lips, fingers swiping along your slit to feel for your arousal. Bringing those fingers towards his mouth, he sucks your essence from his fingertips, savoring your taste. Jungkook switches nipples again and his fingers, now slickened with his saliva, return to the warmth of your pussy. 

You gasp when you feel him caress at your opening before sinking a lone finger into your tight, wet heat. Jungkook can’t help but grunt as he feels your walls clench around him, excited to feel it around his growing erection. 

“It’s all for you baby,” you praise him, carding your fingers through his fringe and pushing his hair back to get a better view of him suckling at your breast. Your breath hitches when you feel him add a second finger, stretching you open with his long, tattooed digits and curling them against your g-spot.

“Mmm yes- ahh. Fuck me with them,” you plead. Lacking the power to drive you towards an orgasm, he teases you with sensual strokes until your cunt drips down your ass and his fingers come out sparkling with your arousal. Completely at his mercy, you feel Jungkook slow down further. Brat. 

You’re writhing beneath him as he continues his personal brand of slow, pleasurable torture. His lips release your tender nipple and return to your open mouth attempting to swallow your moans. 

“Fuck me harder, please, I need it harder.” you beg, hoping to convince him to finger you to completion. Despite your request, Jungkook stops thrusting completely, opting to curl his fingers and rubbing softly against your g-spot while grinding the heel of his palm just off center from your pulsing clit. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his gaze on your visage committing your whining and fucked out expression to memory. You’re being uncharacteristically pliant for him tonight- a change that he is very much enjoying. He files it under ‘spank bank material’ for when Beyond ultimately goes back on tour. 

“Please, baby, make me cum. I’m so close.” you try one last time. You’re panting and desperate for release. 

“You’re not cumming tonight unless it’s on my cock,” he grits out. His fingers stay hooked inside you, caressing at your sensitive front wall. Jungkook’s mouth returns to suckling at your pebbled bud and he slowly fucks you open with his fingers. Your cunt quivers and leaks with your arousal, but without the thrusting or clitoral stimulation, you won’t be cumming anytime soon.

“But how-” you glance down, not expecting his nearly fully erect cock. Pleasuring you had sparked his arousal again, the sounds of your approval and sight of your wet pussy glistening with desire has encouraged him back towards full mast. Licking your lips at his growing girth, you push his hand from your core to collect some of your personal lubricant. You wrap your slicked up fingers around his length jacking him to his full potential. 

“Uunffff- ok, ok. Hold on,” he says, reaching out into your bedside table for lube. You hear Jungkook uncap the small bottle and are eager to feel him deep inside you. Quickly flipping onto your front, you prop yourself on your elbows and knees, presenting your husband with your sloppy, swollen cunt- a soundless request imploring him to fuck you from behind.

“I want to feel you deep,” you reason and unable to resist you, Jungkook agrees. Eyes glued to the way your crotchless panties have dampened with your cream, he spreads a generous glob of lube up and down his cock. He wipes the remainder against your labia and rubs some onto your clit making you mewl out for him. He wipes off the residue on your sheets. You’ll have to wash that later.

Taking a moment to admire his view, his hands caress over your hips and ass. “Are you ready?” Jungkook asks, always so considerate of your needs. 

You nod and delirious with lust, you reach between your legs for him, sliding his bulbous tip up and down your slit before pushing your hips back to take him into your awaiting passage. Jungkook descends down creating a canopy with his body, sheltering you with the physical representation of his love. Jungkook’s hands find yours, lacing his calloused palms to the backs of your hands, fingers interlocking. With light pressure, he encourages you to lay your front down onto the bed. He nudges your knees further apart, propping you ass high in the air. 

Positioned to his liking, he takes his first stroke into your eager cunt. Despite his diligent fingering, the fit is still tight, and you feel the initial pinch as he breaches you. You both release matching moans upon your coupling, and you already know you won’t last long after enduring Jungkook's extensive foreplay. He sets a slow pace plunging deep into your velvet heat. 

“Harder, Kook, I’m already so close.” you puff into the sheets, turning your head as far as possible to watch your lover as he takes you from behind. “Please,” you rasp.

No longer denying your release, Jungkook thrusts faster, snapping his hips powerfully with the intent of getting you off. His cock hammers into you and you’re helpless underneath him to do anything but take it. He can already feel you tightening around him deliciously and lets go of one hand to reach down between your legs. With two fingers, Jungkook rubs tight circles around your clit while he continues to drill into your cunt which is just what you need to finally cum.

“Oh, fuck! Ah- ah-ah, Jungkook!” you chant. Your hands furiously grip the sheets trying to hold onto something to ground you as your high threatens to pull you under. Legs quaking and pussy fluttering around him, your walls contract rhythmically around his turgid length as he continues to rigorously fuck you through your orgasm. 

Jungkook whines at the sensations gripping his cock, but pulls out of your spent heat to spare you from the sting of overstimulation. Any other night, he may have considered fucking you into a second orgasm, but tonight feels different. Tonight, he wants to make ardent love to you.

Without Jungkook’s strong frame to hold you up, you crumble limp against the bed. Your ears ring with the aftermath of a good round of fucking. It takes a second to register that he is speaking.

“Can you take more?” he asks. Confused, you look down and see that he’s still painfully hard. Oh. His erection is glossy with your juices, shining as it bobs between his well-muscled thighs. 

“Fuck- yes,” you quickly consent to him. 

Jungkook swiftly rolls you onto your back again and sits up on his knees between your spread thighs. “I love you in these, but I want to see all of you,” he rasps, tugging at your ruined panties and pulling them off while his eyes stay glued on your saturated folds. Climbing back up your body, he spreads your legs wider and leans forward bringing his cock to your core. You look down to watch him steadily thrust his length against your slit, bumping against your clit on the upstrokes. 

Wanting to draw out his teasing, he grips his slickened base and slaps his dick against your slippery folds. Each wet smack sends waves of electric pleasure through your system as Jungkook works you back up. “Just fuck me, baby. I’m ready.” you insist. Your gaze trails up, meeting his heated stare. 

“I want you to keep your eyes on me when I make love to you,” he says, voice dropping an octave. When you nod in understanding, he catches his tip against your entrance and pushes back into your ripe, warm cunt. Your legs immediately wrap around his trim waist pulling him closer and encouraging him to brace the weight of his upper body on his hands. Your ankles interlock against the base of his spine to bring him deeper.

Jungkook starts with long, slow strokes, pulling nearly all the way out of you before feeding his cock back into your sopping pussy. Going slow enough for you to feel every ridge of his throbbing length, he impales you over and over.

Your back arches in pleasure and you have to fight to keep your eyes open for him. Wanting him closer, you greedily reach your hands up to pull him down closer to you, forcing him to drop to his elbows as he continues to give it to you slow and deep. 

Jungkook braces on his forearms and cradles your head. He tilts your chin up to align with his intense gaze as he continues to plow into you. Brow furrowed and eyes locked, your husband watches your dazed and needy expressions while his body and mind make love to yours. 

He’s always so good to you. Devoted and adoring. You’re suddenly struck with the reminder that this beautiful man is yours. Always has been. Always will be. And tonight is a good time to remind Jungkook how deeply you love him. A fear of commitment used to hold you back, but he peeled back your layers and showed you that love didn’t have to hurt. You haven’t been afraid since. Jungkook has the whole of your heart. 

“How did I get so lucky?” you say, reaching up to caress his jaw as he continues to thrust into your depths. “I’m sorry I lost sight of us,” you stutter trying to sound coherent as your husband diligently sinks his thickness into you again and again. “I never meant for you to feel-”

“- I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better, I just- I’m working on it,” Jungkook cuts you off. He knows this is a two way street. 

“We don’t have to try anymore if you aren’t ready. Pull out and I’ll suck you off again” you offer. If Jungkook isn’t 100% in, you aren’t either. 

“No, I want it. I’m ready for our love to create something beautiful and for everything that comes after that.”

You moan, eyes closing briefly, as Jungkook begins to pick up the pace. The increase in friction against your walls is quickly bringing you towards the edge again. An unexpectedly fierce pump of his hips has you gasping in delight.

“I said-,” Jungkook grunts with another sharp thrust, “-eyes on me, baby.” You pry your eyes open, surprised by his display of dominance and try not to squeal.

Jungkook reaches one hand down to tilt your pelvis back further and you lock your legs up higher on his frame allowing him to shove a pillow under your ass. The new position brings your clit directly under his pubic bone. When he slams back down to stuff you full, he grinds deliciously against you, making you nearly scream out in ecstasy.

“I love you,” you whisper in earnest. “I love you so much,” you moan as Jungkook begins to pound you into the sheets. You’re both quickly unraveling, approaching another high, bodies tingling with impending release. When your thighs begin shaking around him for the second time tonight, he picks up the pace filling the room with a symphony of your euphoria. 

Breaking your eye contact briefly, Jungkook looks down at the juncture of your connection and is enthralled by the visual- his cock coming out foamy with your cream and slamming back into your weeping pussy. Groaning, he suddenly feels the sharp sting of your nails raking down his back as you’re overcome with pleasure. 

“Come on, babe. Cum on my fucking cock,” Jungkook grunts, urging you towards completion. With your hips canted deliciously, he continues to ram directly against your g-spot. 

“Oh fuck, it’s so good. I’m so close,” you babble, feeling Jungkook push deeper against you to stimulate your pulsing clit. Hands clutching your husband and thighs trembling, your eyes slip closed as you finally succumb to his endeavors. You cum with a silent scream, head tilted back and throat exposed as your walls spasm uncontrollably. The wild contracting of your pussy squeezing his cock triggers Jungkook’s own release. His length throbs desperately within your walls as you coax him towards his end. 

“Ahh, I- I’m holy shit- I’m cumming, too” Jungkook whines as he climaxes with breathy whimpers, exploding as he fills you with streams of his ejaculate. He thrusts as deep as he can get while his length continues to spurt inside you, shallowly rutting to ride out his high. 

Panting, he collapses his weight into your waiting arms. “Oof,” you grunt as you feel your husband’s sweaty and spent body pin you against the bed. You let him rest against you for a while, content to feel the warm fullness of his cock and spunk nestled deep inside you.

“Can I stay inside?” he asks shyly. “I just wanna hold you.” You smile and Jungkook holds you close and carefully rolls under you so you can comfortably lay against him. With his arms wound around your waist and your thighs spread wide with his dick sheathed inside you, he ensures maximal skin contact.

Seeing his blissed out face, you giggle as the two of you revel in your post-coital afterglow. His spent length slowly softens letting some of his cum leak from your used hole onto him and the sheets below. You’re definitely going to have to wash these. 

Your fingers find their way into his hair, scratching along his scalp and pushing back his long locks to expose the sexy undercut hiding beneath. Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, but he still leans his face forward knowing you’ll meet his lips with your own. The two of you make out for a little longer, savoring the intimacy shared in your little bubble. 

Jungkook clings to you, preening at your gentle caress and basking in his favorite form of aftercare. Your cunt is runny with lube and your combined releases, but you’re too content to lay with Jungkook in your arms to clean up just yet. You lie wrapped around each other for a few more minutes, mindlessly kissing at his face and neck, whispering praises for his performance.

It’s quiet for a long moment, and assuming he must have fallen asleep as he tends to do after a vigorous round of love making, you attempt to unwind your limbs from his. Grumbling, he tightens his hold around you, preventing you from getting far. 

“Jungkook,” you warn with a laugh, “I have to get cleaned up.”

“Mmm not yet, hold me a little longer” he requests as he burrows deeper in your embrace.

Sighing, you relent, slowly dozing off with your husband in your arms. 

_______________________________________________

When you wake, you find that you've shifted in your slumber. Jungkook's chest is plastered to your back and he has an arm slung over your waist with a hand curled around one of your tits. The mess between your legs has dried making you cringe when you move to get up. Leaving Jungkook who is slowly stirring, you go to the bathroom to shower. 

You step under the spray and let the warm water relax you while you clean off the sweat and unholy mix of bodily fluids from between your thighs. You hum along to the new Beyond the Scene single and sing some of the chorus that you can remember. You exit the shower, wrapping a towel securely around you and return to rouse your sleeping husband.

You find that Jungkook is already awake and sitting against the headboard. “You know, I hope our kid doesn’t inherit your singing voice,” Jungkook cackles, cutting through the silence. 

"Why you-," you gasp, tackling him down into the sheets and laughing along with him. You pin him down and pinch at his nipple in retaliation. It’s not long before he’s pulling the towel from your body and rolling you under him to latch his mouth to your cunt. Before the night is over, he delivers another two orgasms and a fresh load. After all, practice makes perfect.

[justmeandmyships]

Loving your posts about Control Z! I've just finished s3 and I'm a little disappointed. I felt they rushed everything. I get that Sofia and Javi needed to get each other off their system, but they took so much screentime. And acted even more bland. Like they both know they just don't work together but gonna insist anyway. I felt like the writers wanted to please everybody but really didn't satisfy anyone lol And don't even a kiss for Sofia and Raul? They teased them kissing and they got nothing at the end. Felt very obvious to me that the writers didn't want to give really romantic/sexy scenes between them. They want to let open to interpretation. I don't know, Sofia and Raul are much more popular than Javi and Sofi, so why waste the last season with her and Javi? Maybe the writers had more things planned but Netflix axed the show? Or they didn't want people reacting badly that Sofia choose Raul? Anyway, I've seen few people talking about this season and not having much Raul and Sofia didn't help. And the fact that Netflix forgot to promote the show...ugh.

Sorry for the long message. I got carried away 😁

Don't worry. I love to talk about my shows too!!! ...I mean my whole blog is about me ranting alone about them lol.

First of all, THANK YOU for complimenting my post. I love that you loved them.

I definitely agree with you on Sofia and Javi. Their scenes were very annoying and boring. Many people didn't like this finale season and I think their relationship had a lot to do with it. Literally, it felt like it came out of nowhere and was there in our throats since ep 1. I definitely wasn't expecting it but I guess they did it because since season 1 they were hinting at it but they thought they would have time to go for it but then Netflix was like "Ey this would be your finale season" and they tried to capsule everything they have planned for their ending in 1 season when it could have taken them two.

However, I did enjoy this season because for me was really nice to see how they took all the characters and the storyline to season 1 because season 4 was just season 1 but bigger; with characters more mature and with a different mindset.

For me, it was beautiful to see, especially Gerry's. I hated him in season 1, and for them to be able to show us how he went from a lost guy with repressed homophobia to a guy who doesn't care if they killed him but he would remain true to himself. Not gonna lie, the scene where they beat him up while he screamed at them "I´m gay" made me cry. It was beyond amazing.

Another moment that touched me was when Nata was trying to feel what Maria felt when she drown. It was painful. If you have lost someone, it would hurt even more.

I don't think people realize how hard it is to write all those things. I love to write, so I know that what they did wasn't an easy challenge. To tell the SAME story twice without making it feel like a repetition AND respect the characters and their arcs... not all writers can do it, not even trying it. So I respect them for it. I really enjoy the effort they did.

Of course, it wasn't perfect but like I said I think they were planning to have at least four seasons and everything we saw was for the last season, with the 3 being a preparation for it but Netflix didn't give them a chance.

But in general terms I'm satisfied. What played against them were the relationships that they presented this season. because I've seen people complaining not only about Sofi and Javi but also about Gerry and the new guy (I don't remember his name, sorry), but as well as I understand why the writers did Sofi and Javi, I understand their relationship. In both cases, they were never meant to last.

In Sofia and Javi's case they show us how, even though, they were kind of happy, they were more using each other as comfort and security after the accident they witnessed. Like in season 2, both of them learned that loving Raúl and Nata was dangerous and a bad idea. Raúl lied to Sofi and Nata "cheated" on Javi. And all that mess ended up with Nata almost dying and an innocent person dying. Both Sofi and Javi experimented and did things that were so out of character for them and the consequences were fatal. THEIR LOVE FOR NATA AND RAÚL WAS FATAL. so, why not to try act "normal" and be back to who they were before. Javi never disappointed Sofia before and vice versa. After a trauma like that, ofc you will want to feel safe. However, even when they wanted to play safe, we have little moments where Sofia was smelling Raúl's shirt when she was about to have sex with Javi, or her being concerned about everything he did. We also have Javi immediately saying "You shouldn't have to go for all that alone" (I don't know if he said that in English because I saw it in Spanish and it was so sweet because he said it like she was a baby who left alone )...so all those little details showed that Sofia and Javi were thinking all the time on Raúl and Nata but they were scared of let themselves to be carried away. They were never meant to last

A similar thing happened to Gerry and the new guy. They were cute, yes but the writers showed us many times that Gerry saw Luis in this new guy and if we go back to season 1, what the writers wanted was to explore and recreated Gerry and Luis's relationship. That's why the new guy betrayed Gerry at the end because Gerry too betrayed Luis. Gerry failed Luis and that's why he forgave the new guy because Gerry understands how it feels to not want it to do something but feel forced to do it anyway because all you want is to survive. It was a sad thing but so was Luis's destiny in season 1.

but the difference lies in the fact that Luis and Gerry's situation led to confusion, pain, anger, and death. This new situation between Gerry and the new guy led to forgiveness, acceptance, and the ability to move on. not only for Gerry but for Luis's mom too. That's top-tier writing right there.

I'm sorry for the long post haha. But I'm just like you. When I got carried away, I got carried away. I guess we also did a full circle too lol. Please come to talk to me whenever you want. kisses.

[sinnabonka]

It’s spec time: Love always wins

(Okay, I promised it, I’m doing it, there’s no stopping me now.) 

For the last three days I’ve been all over the place emotionally, clinging to every post saying Cas is not dead dead, saying his story is not done, but then someone wrote the “but” post and, there I go again, down the bottomless pit of angst. 

I’ve been a Schrödinger believer for so long with this show, one can get used to it. 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, regarding whether Cas is coming back or not. We won’t know till we know ©

Ep 19 speculations here

But let's speculate!

Apparently, there's nothing better for me to do way past midnight on Saturday and on Sunday morning (when I’m writing this). 

What makes us think 15*18 might indeed be the end of Castiel’s story:

Everything the crew and Misha told us, officially, is pressing toward Cas dying permanently in this scene. “Proud ending”, indeed. 

Castiel’s story has the perfect symmetry this way, with the handprint, the “Hello, Dean” - “Goodbye, Dean”, and the whole “Dean Winchester is saved” theme.

He is smiling, while Empty takes him, he’s content with his sacrifice. 

Something about Castiel’s monologue didn’t sit right with me for some time. The whole point of happiness being not in having, but in being and saying, gave me an idea of it being the way writers say we can’t have Destiel, but we should be happy to know it’s real and to hear it said aloud after all those years. 

Supernatural had to be the story of two brothers and their journey, and Winchesters driving in the sunset is the most probable endgame we are gonna get. 

Even though all those points seem valid, we can’t trust any of it. 

Let me fix it for you:

It wouldn't be the first time the crew lied about someone being on set. 

The handprint was not scripted. I repeat, the handprint was not scripted.

Castiel’s monologue could be just about loving Dean, and it’s just my poor wounded heart looking too deep into it and seeing my angstloving reflection on the bottom of the well. 

And Supernatural might indeed be about family, but, as we know, family doesn’t end with blood, and doesn’t start with it either. Cas is family, after all. 

I’m glad be are clear on this one.

What tells us Cas is coming back and we are getting Destiel endgame:

(Brace yourself, it’s gonna be wordy)

1. The most obvious, without rewriting his memory or going OOC, there’s no happy ending for Dean (not the crappy bittersweet substitute) without Cas. 

Even without the love confession in place, we’ve seen what Cas’ death did to him before, it shuttered him to pieces. Imagine the damage it's gonna cause now! 

“I love you, I always did, bye bye now, have a long and happy life knowing my feelings for you have killed me dead.” Really? No win can make up for it.

2. My fave point, aka the natural dynamics of storytelling. The big loss predicts the big win. The deeper the wound, the brighter the prize. Following the roller coaster this season has been, we should be up for a pretty high damn up pretty soon. 

So, there’s The Big Loss (losing Eileen, all of their friends, all the people on Earth and Cas). 

Next - The Big Win (defeating God, getting their free will back, getting humanity back). 

Then, we should have The Big Regret and Reflect moment (Sam and Dean talking a lot at this point, realization of things which are important, what they want with Chuck gone). 

And at the end, there’s The Ultimate Happy ending waiting for us (see point 1 again in case you are not sure what that means).

3. You know what, forget it, this one is my favorite. The parallels. Throughout this season we’ve been spoon-fed with context (Geez, it feels nice to finally know we are not crazy, we are not seeing things, we got it all right!) and writers chose to do so via parallels, via reflections, subtle hints. 

It would be some lazy storytelling to shove everything to our faces, so, instead, we’ve got: Charlie and Stevie, Sam and Eileen, the world and humanity, Dean and Cas. 

Everyone separated. Forever? No, not really. And I don’t buy everyone getting their loved ones back, except Dean. C’mon.

4. Unresolved love confession. Yes, Cas might have died with a smile, meaning it’s enough for him to speak his truth and be gone. But Dean? Him sobbing in the dungeon, ignoring Sam’s calls (he literally never chose anything above Sam before), the “Don’t do this, Cas” part - it’s the lowest he’s ever been. 

To sum up, Dean didn’t get his closure. He might have needed five to six business days to process, but he still has his truth he has to find out and then give a voice to. 

And yeah, I know, he could confess via prayer or something, but we all know that’s something needed to be said face to face.  (Btw, he already confessed to Cas in purgatory via prayer once, you can try and prove me wrong, but good luck with that, sunshine.)

5. The perfect symmetry. If I were in SPN writers room, I would literally cry my eyes out of joy at the symbolism this ending gives. I would literally fight everyone against it. 

The broken man not deserving to be saved is dragged from Hell by the most loyal and righteous angel Heaven ever seen. 

VS

The fallen angel not deserving to be loved is dragged from Empty by the most loving and caring man the sun shone on.

I mean, c’mon, people. Poetry.

(We are nearing a very important thing here, fasten your seatbelts, please.)

6. The message the show wants to give the world has changed. From “it’s all about the journey, about saving people, killing things, no one ever gets what they deserve”, the philosophy has changed drastically toward the “good things do happen, you deserve to be saved, to be loved”. 

Come and see what lane we are walking right now: allowing yourself to love again, to experience things again / losing the love of your life a moment later / fighting for your love / winning your love back. 

I believe the final message is: love always wins. 

Love is not one’s weakness, love is power, love is strength, it’s a perfect fuel. 

Humans declare war in the name of love, kill and get killed in the name of love, but, most importantly, humans live and win those wars in the name of love, too. 

7. Go big or go home is on the table, and no one goes home this time. 

Supernatural was a bunch of broken glass for soooo long, I think this time writers are gonna give us something good, for a change. Not bittersweet good, but actually cotton-candy-almost-diabetes-sweet good.  

Why? 

Because *loud and clear* we deserve having good things happening to us! 

Also, it’s The End, the creators have nothing to lose, but, on the other hand, the ultimate happy ending would allow them to leave an enormous mark on the world and Supernatural to be known as the only show that actually could.

To sum up:  

Dean can’t be happy with Cas gone and, following the logic of prebuilt parallels, he won’t have to - everyone gets their loved ones back at the end, because love always wins. 

Cas might be at peace with speaking his truth, saving Dean and being gone, but it is not fair, Dean also deserves a chance to be heard. 

Few seasons ago I would laugh in my own face for these arguments, but the philosophy of the show has been transformed. During the last few years we were being prepared for this moment, slowly, gently being led toward this moment. 

Supernatural has to give us the Destiel endgame to prove their point.

click x click for more

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain (3)

Chapter Three- Found You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.

Chapter synopsis: The three of you decide to take matters into your own hands which lead to the most unexpected alliance.

Warnings: None.

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Hey everyone! This chapter covers the second half of episode 2 and the beginning of ep 3. Subtle hints of Bucky x reader here and there, but more importantly I want to cover how the reader plays into the dynamics of relationships in the series.

More Bucky x reader interactions in the next chapter, I promise!

The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join in with a message or comment in the chapters!

Leave a comment to let me know what you think! 🥰

I really appreciate it! 🙏🏼

Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two

Next: Chapter Four

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The three of you changed back to more comfortable clothes before meeting up to find the man that Bucky wanted you and Sam to meet.

Walking on the streets of a neighbour in Baltimore, you were curious to know who the mysterious man was. As Bucky continued to lead the way, a kid on the street called out to Sam calling him the Black Falcon.

You beamed widely at the innocence of the kid who was excited to see a hero he had known. Sam went on to correct the kid and ended up engaging in funny banter with the kid.

You couldn’t help but grin at how effortless Sam was with people. He was different from Steve but you knew that Sam embodied his spirit with his own character. He would be such as good captain in your heart.

Soon, the three of you arrived at the house and Bucky went to knock on the door. When someone came to answer the door, you tried to put on your friendliest face to greet them.

Bucky asked for someone named Isaiah to which the young boy in front of you claimed that there was no one of that name.

Bucky didn’t give up and continue pressing on, claiming that you all just wanted to talk. It wasn’t very obvious but you could tell the boy was starting to get defensive and reiterated his point.

He was hiding something and didn’t want the three of you to inquire further. As a last resort, Bucky asked the boy to pass on a message that he was sure to able to reach out to the person you were supposed to meet.

The boy told us to wait while he closed the door. Sam questioned about how Bucky had met this person to which he replied that they met back during the Korean war. If your calculations, that was almost 70 years ago which only meant this person must at least be in his nineties.

Your deduction was confirmed when you were all let into the house and you came face to face with an aged man. The man looked less than friendly and was looking over the three of you with a hardened expression.

Gingerly walking closer, you saw how the man known as Isaiah looked fit for someone of his age. Bucky started off by introducing both you and Sam to Isaiah and vice versa. You tried to put on a polite smile despite the tense atmosphere.

Bucky went on to explain how Isaiah was a hero and was once feared most by HYDRA, just like how Steve was and that they met in 1951.

Isaiah took over the conversation and that was when you learnt that Isaiah was with the U.S military and they had sent him to go after Bucky when he was still the Winter Soldier. You could the small smile forming as he retold of how he managed to take out Bucky’s metal arm in Goyang.

You thought that Isaiah was starting to warm up but as he continued speaking, you knew he was still reserved.

“I’m not a killer anymore,” Bucky emphasized to Isaiah but the aged man wasn’t pleased.

“You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be? It doesn’t work like that. Well, maybe it does for folks like you.” Isaiah responded as he stared back straight into Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky took a deep breath to steady himself before continuing on. He explained the situation that there were possibly more super soldiers like him and Isaiah. When you heard that, your eyes widened in shock at the revelation.

“I’m not going to talk about it anymore.” Isaiah was seething with anger and threw a metal box into the wall. The non-blunt object that impaled into the wooden wall only serves to exemplify how Isaiah was enhanced like Steve and Bucky.

You winced at his action and looked over to see the young boy who you presumed to be Isaiah’s grandson looking down in silence.

Isaiah stepped closer towards Bucky and spoke once more. This time, instead of lashing out, his voice was shaking.

“You know what they did to me for being a hero?” Isaiah paused shortly before speaking his next sentence. “They put my ass in jail for 30 years.”

Once you heard his words, you immediately looked down with indescribable emotions. Isaiah continue to tell of how he was treated like nothing more than an object, having people run tests on him, taking his blood and going into his cells.

“Even your people weren’t done with me.” Isaiah directed his words at Bucky once more.

Sam tried to calm Isaiah down but the man was livid. He shouted for all three of you to leave his home and everyone retreated without a question. As Sam and Bucky filed out of the door, you turned your back to throw a last look at Isaiah who was still fuming silently.

You gave a slight bow to show a sign of respect and apology.

“A warning, miss.” Surprised to hear Isaiah speak to you directly, you looked up to meet his eyes.

“My grandson spoke of you before. You and I are the same even if we were made differently.”

“What? I don’t understand.” Blinking your eyes in confusion, you waited to hear Isaiah’s explanation.

“I don’t know how you have gotten your abilities. But if you don’t stay low and keep your head down, they will come for you and do the same things to you that they did to me.” You took a sharp intake of breath at Isaiah’s warning. It only heightened the fears you already had, making it more real.

You thanked Isaiah quietly before making a move to catch up with your friends. When you reached the steps, Bucky and Sam were already walking ahead of you.

You proceeded to follow them before glancing back to see Isaiah’s grandson giving you a nod of acknowledgement before he closed the door. You could already the argument as Sam confronted Bucky on why he only let you two know about Isaiah only now.

Sam continued to question why there was a Black super soldier decades ago and why nobody knew about it?

“Guys, let’s not do this here-” You tried to intervene when you noticed a police car driving around the corner to where you all were.

The car stopped at where you all stood and the officers stepped out to inquire about what was going on. Sam replied that everyone was just talking and it was nothing to worry about. When the officers started asking for identification, Sam remarked that he didn’t have any.

Bucky tried to pacify the officers who insisted to engage in the situation. It was not a pleasant exchange of words as it seemed like it was going nowhere with the officers trying to probe and Sam trying to deflect.

“There’s nothing going on. We are all just friends talking things out.” You tried to give a brief but succinct explanation to get the officers to back off.

The officer clearly ignored your words before continuing to ask Bucky if Sam was bothering him. Bucky had it and went ahead to ask if the officer actually knew who Sam was.

Another officer came up to whisper into his partner’s ear and you could hear him telling him of your identities. The officer quickly retracted his initial behaviour and apologised to Sam.

“Mam.” You see the officer now acknowledging your presence only when he knew of your title.

You just grimly stared back in response before looking around to see that you have gained the attention of onlookers in the neighbourhood. The officers went back to the vehicle while Bucky continued from where you all left off on the conversation.

Bucky explained that he didn’t let anyone know about Isaiah since the man had been through so much. You had to agree on his reasoning and you knew Sam did too.

The officer came out again to let Bucky know that there was a warrant out for his arrest.

“Look, the president pardoned him for all that,” Sam interjected but the officer claimed it was not for that reason. Instead, Bucky had missed his court-mandated therapy and that was akin to missing a check-in with a parole officer.

He apologised before having to call for Bucky’s arrest. As Bucky walked over to the car, the officer took out the handcuffs. That set you off as you marched forward.

“Hey, don’t treat him like a criminal. He’s not going to do anything.” You tried intervening to which the officers telling you that it was standard protocol.

“Don’t worry, doll. It’s fine.” Bucky gave you a brief smile before getting into the back of the car. He gave Sam a last look before giving you one that tried to reassure you once more. As the police car drove off, Sam approached you and you two made your way to the police station together.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Once you arrived at the station, you sat with Sam as you waited for Bucky’s release. From the corner of your eye, you could see Dr Raynor, Bucky’s therapist coming to approach the two of you.

“Sam, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Dr Raynor extended a hand to Sam before continuing to introduce herself. As you met eyes with her next, she moved her hand to you and you returned the gesture.

“It’s good to see you again, Y/N.”

“Likewise, doctor”. You exchanged pleasantries with her before Sam gave his thanks to her for getting Bucky out. Dr Raynor denied the credits for it and the two of you exchanged a confused look before you heard a familiar voice.

“Christina!”

You and Sam managed to mirror the exact same expression before he inquired how Dr Raynor knew John Walker. Apparently, they worked together back in their military days.

What a small world.

With a smug look, John claimed that Bucky would not need to follow a strict schedule which raised your brows in question. Dr Raynor asked whose authorization was this on to which John pointed to himself with a pleased smile.

You wished you could wipe it off his face.

“He’s too valuable of an asset to be tied up. Just do whatever you go to do with him, then send him off to me.” That word was a trigger for you. Knowing Bucky’s past and how that word only reduced him to some sort of objectification. You couldn’t help the need to say your piece to him.

“Don’t talk about him like that.” You shot back to Walker and he gave you a quizzed look. “Like what?”

“Like his only value boils down to how well he can fight for your task force. You talk about him like he’s some object for your use when he’s a person.” You tried defending Bucky’s honour.

Sensing your enmity, John raised two hands to show that he meant no harm.

“A little bit too much here, Y/N. You’re his girlfriend or something?” John’s casual remark took you aback especially for what he implied in the second sentence. A sudden sense of shyness overcame you as you did not what to say in response.

You struggled for the right words to say and looked over to Sam who gave you an inquisitive look before you saw Bucky coming out. You made no indication to give John Walker an answer as you made your way towards your friend.

You could hear John saying that he had unfinished business with Bucky, Sam and you before indicating he will be waiting outside.

“Hey, you okay?” You spoke softly to Bucky who nodded in response. “They didn’t do anything to you, right?” You added on. Your worry for Bucky only made him grinned at how you were so concerned over him.

Bucky placed his hand at the back of your head and stroked your hair to calm you down.

“I’m fine. Really.” Bucky tried to convince you as you pouted. His hand mover over to your cheeks as he went on to hold your face gently. Bucky gave you a small pinch on your cheeks to tease how you could look cute while being worried at the same time.

“James, condition of your release, a session now. You too, Sam.” Dr Raynor instructed. Sam tried to excuse himself but Dr Raynor was not having it, saying it wasn’t a request. As she looked over at you, she gave you a reassuring smile.

“Would just need these two boys. You’re fine, dear.” Nodding politely to her, you tried to tell the boys to behave with a faked stern expression as they turned back to give you the last look before they walked off with Dr Raynor.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Turned out the session didn’t really go well when you saw both men walked out with hardened expressions on their faces. As the three of you stepped out of the precinct, you saw a flash of red and blue lights accompanied by the sound of a siren.

You looked over to see John and Lemar leaning against a police car and reluctantly approached them.

John once again tried to propose that it was better to work together. Sam considered it for a moment and decided to inquire further. Apparently, the leader of the Flag Smashers is Karli Morgenthau. Civilians have been helping this group to hide safely from the authorities and move to new locations discreetly.

Her rough location was predicted to be in displaced communities across central and eastern Europe. Bucky being the cynic he was towards John Walker tried to get John Walker to give an exact location.

The two of them gave heated exchanges before Bucky decided to taunt John Walker. You could see the latter’s patience wearing thin. He was trying to be patient and nice with all of you all this while but you were all hard on him.

You almost started to feel a little bad.

Sam stepped in before it felt like things were going to escalate and reiterated the most important point- which was that the Flag Smashers had to be stopped at all costs.

They were too dangerous to be roaming out freely on their own. Shoot, it sounded hypocritical coming from you when you were experiencing the same thing. They weren’t killing anyone, they were just trying to deliver medicines and vaccines to vulnerable communities.

Was that really a bad thing? You thought.

You turned your attention back to the conversation and picked up from how Sam said that it was better that you all were separately from John and Lemar. After all, you were all free agents versus them working under an establishment.

It would be challenging for you three to have to conform and work with stipulated regulations and authorizations. That was your cue to walk away but John spoke up once again, stopping you in your tracks.

“A word of advice then. Stay the hell out of my way.” It sounded more like a threat than advice.

“Y/N, last chance. The offer still stands.” John Walker shoots his last shot towards you. You peered over to see Bucky and Sam staring at you intently.

You shook your head before you spoke. “Sorry, I’m with my boys till the end.”

“You will regret it.” John tried to make you feel bad but you knew it wouldn’t work on you.

“We’ll see, Walker.” You just threw a smirk and a mock salute his way before turning back.

Sam clapped you on the back and rested his hands on your shoulder as you all walked off. Bucky placed his arms around your waist and gave you a gentle pat on your side.

For once, they were on the page on something and that was being proud of you.

As the three of you contemplated on what to do next, Bucky insinuated something in his words. Sam knew what he was implying immediately tried to refute the idea.

When the gears started shifted in your brain, you grabbed onto Bucky’s arms to stop him in his tracks. You shook your head before the words even came out.

Letting out a sigh, he tried to talk reason to you. “Doll, you know he is the only one to know all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia?”

“Yes, which exactly why it is a bad idea! Do you remember what he did to you back then? To us? He’s scheming and manipulative, you can’t trust him.” You argued back.

“Y/N, he has a point if we want a start.” Sam chimed in to convince you. You begrudgingly gave in as Sam continued.

“So you’re just going to go up and sit in a room with this guy?” Bucky gave a hesitant yes.

Sam gave it a few more thoughts before affirming that it’s time to pay Zemo a visit.

-------------------------//---------------------------

The trip to pay Zemo a visit required you to pack up and head over to Germany. Standing outside the prison, your gut still told you that this was a bad idea.

Who knows if Zemo might try to get into Bucky’s head again?

Once you were led through the corridors nearing Zemo’s cell, the officer left you, Sam and Bucky. “I’m going in alone,” Bucky stated citing that considering Sam and you were both technically associated with the Avengers.

Sam refuted his reason as Zemo was still viewed as dangerous, given that a man like him could have broken up the Avengers.

Bucky emphasized that Zemo was obsessed with HYDRA and they had a history together. Your rolled your eyes at the comment and still showed your disapproval.

“Trust me, I got it.” He told Sam before looking back at you. Bucky knew you had reasonable doubts but he had to do this on his own. He placed his hand on your cheek, his thumb caressed it affectionately for a short moment before letting go and walking off.

As you waited outside with Sam, the two of you kept quiet for a minute before Sam spoke up first.

“You know, I’m not the biggest fan of cyborg in there but he’s really lucky to have you.” Looking over to Sam who gave you an endearing gaze like a big brother would, you muttered a quiet thanks, not knowing what else to say.

“Tell me, how do you stand that grumpy old ass? Seems like he’s not a great company with his brooding all day.” Sam tried to quip to make the conversation light-hearted. You chuckled at hearing his usual snide remarks about Bucky and then took a moment to think about his question.

“He does not brood all day. You just need to know how to make him smile and laugh.” You answered thoughtfully, unbeknown to you Sam was quietly observing the expression on your face.

Your bashful grin did not go unnoticed by him but you didn’t know you were even making such an expression when you continued to talk about Bucky.

“Bucky is a cynic at times, but he’s such a softie. You know he always has lunch with his 70-year-old neighbour on Wednesday to keep him company. The man’s son passed away many years ago and he had no one left. Bucky is the only one he interacts with on most days. ” You painted a different side of Bucky, one that you were familiar with and you hope Sam could learn to know.

“After all he’s been through, I believe Bucky can overcome anything that comes his way. I hope that I can help to find himself and find peace with himself again. He deserves to be happy.” You got so engrossed in singing Bucky’s praises that you didn’t notice Sam observing you with a gleeful look.

When you realised that you have been rambling, you paused yourself to look over to see Sam with a weird expression.

“What?” He chuckled and shook his head.

“Besides Steve, I can’t see anyone who likes him as much as you do.” His words got you flustered as you felt him implying it in a different meaning.

“Well, as friends of course-” You tried to correct the context before he stopped you from finishing your sentence.

“Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that, sis.” Sam placed his arms around your neck and ruffled your hair playfully.

“Hey!” You countered back playfully before the two of you continued to play around light-heartedly.

Your lively banter reminded you of the lighter moments from your Avenger days with your friends and you suddenly paused in our actions to give Sam a hug.

“I missed you, Sam.” Before you knew it, the tears started welling up as you started to think about old friends.

Sam returned the hug and he knew by your words what you had meant. Before Wanda, you were the youngest in the team and everyone doted on you like a baby. Even with new additions to the team, everyone still regarded you as a darling. Losing half of the team in the fight with Thanos would have the most impact on you.

Looking down at you quietly sobbing in his arms, Sam thought that even though he had seen you grown up over the years, you were always still the little sister figure in the team.

Even though you were given such extraordinary abilities and viewed as a powerful fighter, he thought that you were no different from any ordinary woman trying to live her best life.

You once confided in him that you hoped to quickly retire from fighting and live a life that would truly make you happy. The guilt started seeping in as he knew he had unknowingly dragged you back to another fight.

Once this was all over, he hoped that you can be free to live that life you wanted.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Once the visit was over, Bucky led you and Sam to a garage. He suggested the idea of breaking Zemo out of jail and both of you immediately threw up arms.

Sam thought Bucky lost his mind and you did too. Sam started listing off the reasons why getting Zemo out was a bad idea and you added in your piece. Bucky still seemed to be insistent on the idea and you literally grabbed your head in frustration.

When Bucky tried to reason and come up with a hypothetical, you already knew he was up to no good. Bucky continued talking about how a plan could be formulated to break Zemo and it sounded way too well thought out.

Sam felt uneasy just like you and exclaimed to ask Bucky where exactly you all were. When Bucky didn’t answer, Sam already turned his head to see movement from across everyone. You turned your head too to see someone entering the scene and you had a hunch you knew who it was and that you weren’t going to like it.

As Zemo stepped forward in prison warden’s uniform, you were stunned for words but more importantly, you were outraged.

“Bucky! I can’t believe you-” You exclaimed.

“Doll, let me explain.” He tried to pacify you.

“I didn’t want to tell you two because I knew you two wouldn’t let this happen.” Bucky tried to justify his actions and held Sam back from moving onto Zemo.

“You’re going back to prison.” Sam directed at Zemo before turning back to Bucky.

Zemo, for the first time, tried to speak up in the chaos.

“If I may-”

“NO!” Sam and Bucky shut him down immediately. You skipped ahead to go up to the man and grabbed him by the collars. Your hands were threatening to light up with your bright energy flames and Zemo showed a fearful look beside his usual demeanour.

“You’re gonna get it from me, you punk!” Your teeth clenched as the words came out and Zemo held his hands up in surrender.

“Apologies, miss. I mean no harm.” You felt Bucky holding you back and untangling your fingers from Zemo’s collars.

“Y/N, please listen to me first.” You unwillingly gave in once you saw Bucky give you a puppy-eyed pleading look. You gritted your teeth and clenched your fists before giving him a look that said you were willing to listen.

Bucky looked over to you and Sam, trying to appeal for your co-operation. “The two of you backed Steve when he refused to sign the Sokovia Accords. You both broke the law and stuck your neck out for me. I’m asking you to do it for me again, please.”

“I really think I’m invaluable-” Zemo tried to appeal himself but he was met with Sam’s telling of him to shut up. You turned to glare at Zemo and he backed off once more.

You and Sam looked at each other, subsequently both coming to agree on the plan. Sam then turned to Zemo and warned him to play any games. Zemo was not to even move without permission and he agreed that it was fair.

You later learnt that you were in Zemo’s personal garage and while you were amazed by his car collections, you made sure to not get distracted while you were around the man.

Zemo made clear that his intentions were to end the Winter Soldier program and thus your goals were aligned in stopping the Flag Smashers. He was even confident in knowing where to start as he gathered up his things and continued to lead the way.

You still couldn’t believe that you had to work with the man that framed Bucky and caused the lives of many innocent people to be taken away.

You could never trust him entirely and you made sure that if it counts down to the worst-case scenario, you would be willing to go further than you usually did in handling people like him.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list:

@tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves

[crossovereddie]

Hey there I've been seeing a lot of headcanons that all revolve around Ediie pining. Just wanna wrap my head around why people think it would be Eddie?? Imo Buck has been pining since he first saw Eddie hug Christopher in the earthquake ep. Thoughts please??

Hey! This is a really good question and I’m probably gonna ramble a lot sorry in advance lol

So I can obviously only speak for my myself and from what I’ve see and interpreted other people’s posts.

I was very pining buck as well up until 4x14. That hospital scene changed everything for me and that’s also when people started to be very vocal about pining Eddie. There had been some pining Eddie vibes in the treasure hunt episode too so let me talk about that before I jump into 4x14.

Eddie is clearly jealous of Taylor in treasure hunt at least to me he is. He’s put off by buck teaming up with her first. He’s making comments the whole time they’re planning. He’s side eyeing her and buck. For the first time he doesn’t have bucks full attention and he clearly hates it. We all made jokes and were living for it.

Then there was the scene with Carla in 4x13(Or was it 11? I don’t remember which episode someone correct me if I’m wrong) where she asks if Eddie’s following his heart then he looks at ana with Chris and when he looks away his face falls. Those were hints that something is different. Like I watched those scenes and was like “hmm...could this be? Am I just over analyzing?”.

But for me there was an obvious shift in Eddie during 4x14. The hospital scene happened and my first thoughts were “holy shit Eddie knows”. I never expected him to be the one pining but it makes sense. Maybe buck did realize earlier but didn’t think he had a chance so just kinda didn’t let himself go there. I think there’s a big possibility he could be completely oblivious to Eddie’s feelings. Buck doesn’t think very highly of himself and Eddie is trying to change his mindset by saying “look. I trust YOU with my son. My everything. You mean so much more than you think”. By entrusting Chris with Buck, Eddie is letting him (and us the audience) know that Buck is his family. Chris and Buck are the two most important people in the world to Eddie. More important than his parents, than his immediate family, than every single other member of his blood family, than every single member of his found family (even Bobby who is a father figure now), than Carla (who already watches Chris so he trusts her right?), and more important than his girlfriend. Before Buck walks in Eddie is sitting on the bed looking lost in thought. He’s thinking about Buck and how he needs to tell him. Needs to show him how important he is to Eddie. I really think Eddie knows and has accepted his feelings for buck are way more than bro-y platonic love.

Then buck gets a gf and Eddie still hasn’t broken up with his (but I don’t think that’s lasting any longer if they already haven’t broken up off screen or in a flashback). So we have Buck finally dating someone and Eddie being single and ready to make Buck a more permanent romantic member of his little family but not being able to do so because Buck’s happiness is the more important to Eddie than his own (he always puts others feelings before his own). Cue pining Eddie loving Buck but refusing to get in the way of what he thinks buck wants.

[kaypeace21]

Will’s fear of clowns

*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD

Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!

I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night. 

But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker. 

I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened. 

In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.

Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible. 

Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)

So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes. 

Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home.  Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective. 

What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time. 

Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?

Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair. 

Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened. 

RESPONE (kaypeace):

I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays

As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…

I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.

if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.

The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”.  Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped  and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.

 If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…

[sun-daisies]

euphoria s2 ep7 thoughts

ok took some breaths after the euphoria ep so here's all my silly lil thoughts

they're literally not even fully formed thoughts I have no analysis breakdown or anything its literally just my screaming

fayeee :( she rlly grew on me this season I genuinely rlly like her and I hope she does the right thing poor girl looks like she's gonna vomit the whole episode

also fezco in a SUIT dressing up all nice and asking "you think other people will think im handsome?" ahsfjdhgajsha I love this man he bought her flowers and everything I still think fexi is a lil weird but its sweet nonetheless

ashtray I fear for you my guy and honestly fez too I am so fucking scared for fez please let them both make it out of next ep alive pls pls pls

rue and gia :((

rue and her MOTHER omg that conversation killed me poor Leslie :(

also rue's reactions throughout the whole play are GOLD

maddyyyyyyyyy gosh her and cassie's friendship was so genuine and so strong :((( not them basically being sisters goshhhhh and im so glad that the show is focusing on their friendship rather than nate

also maddy after last episode... like girl ur good atm but like. im very worried about how what nate did to you last ep will fuck you up.

cassie in the school bathroom forcing herself to smile/practicing her happy reactions while crying ashgjdsahgj STOP :((( god she's not okay

the FOOTBALL scene had me cackling but also really not cool of lexi to out nate like that :/ and im so torn too because this season did a lot of nate's perspective on things and why he is the way he is and sort of giving us the chance to empathize with him so I feel AWFUL when something like this happens to him but at the same time all the terrible things he's done to maddy specifically (jules and cassie and fez and probably like everyone else too but ESPECIALLY maddy) are absolutely unforgivable.

also......... everyone was saying last week that ep 6 hinted that his dad sexually assaulted him but? I wasn't so sure? I thought the shift in his childhood was when he found the tapes and all that. and now everyones like this ep confirmed that but? the whole sequence where they suggested it was so haphazard (a nightmare, or how memories blur together to create something ugly) that it could just be his subconscious or whatever idk do you know where im going with this? my brain is so tiny

anyway LEXI god I would have hated doing theater with her :) but I love this character trait for her we love "a blind three year old could do a better job than you"

also mad respect for lexi I love this observer with my whole heart...... but also..... rlly cant get behind the blatant "here are people we all go to school with, and here's shit that I know about them" like exposing them to the entire school idk it feels really icky :/ but its also super in character for a high schooler to not think about the repercussions or how that could affect others (yes she did technically worry herself sick over it BUT. peer review? maybe? like have someone else read it and be like uhhhh really obvious that this is your friends?) IDK I just felt icky about that

ETHAN PLAYING ALL THE PARTS omg this kid is going to be on broadway

*snorts* lexi's mom is fantastic. not exactly mother of the year by any means. but god her reactions in this play were golden

sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy

and finally

julessssss :( can someone pls check in on her can we please check in on her I am begging I am pleading please she's not okay