#PLEASE ask me questions about this

[sillyguysss]

AU where Angeal and Genesis break Sephiroth out of Shinra and they end up in the underplate and get adopted by Elmyra. AGS+Aerith as siblings is living rent free in my head.

[redplanetlobster]

Doing some more thinking about my TMA x Batman crossover, and I don't think I want all of (or even most of) the Batman cast to be Avatars. Probably 2-4 of them could be Avatars while everyone else has been a victim or never came across the fears in any meaningful way. Plus this is post TMA finale and so the fears will not have had a lot of time to sink themselves into the universe (~100 years tops).

Currently I only have Jason pinned down (Avatar of the Buried (reasons if you're interested)) but here are some ideas I have for everyone else.

Bruce: victim of Corruption

Cass: victim of Slaughter

Damian: Avatar of the Flesh (mainly here because if this was pre-finale Damian and Monster Pig would get along swimmingly)

Dick: victim of the Vast (basic ik)

Mr. Freeze: Avatar of the Lonley

Barbara: Avatar of the Web/Eye (also basic)

Scarecrow: Linchpin for the next Ritual

Harley: victim of the Web or Avatar of the Spiral

I want to have some idea for a lot of everyone before I truly decide who gets Avatar status and who gets to be marked. If you have any ideas, I gladly welcome them.

[venicemermaids]

hi hello everyone.... it's FINALLY time for me to post the outline of my steel ball run x vento aureo au!! yes it's me transplanting the sbr characters into va. what can you do

info and stuff beneath the cut as always :3

♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡•~•♡

☆ steven steel is a capo within passione, and he oversees sezione gestione sistemi informatici (the information gathering team). he doesn’t ever fight anyone directly as it isn’t in his nature to be excessively violent, but he does goes on missions with his team from time to time.

☆ he’s extremely protective of his team as a whole, taking any deaths and injuries they may sustain especially hard. he knows that most if not all of them come from awful backgrounds, so he tries to show them empathy that most other people don’t afford. the man that risotto tortured information out of (anime) was said to be in sistemi informatici so… do with that information what you will.

☆ steven is acquainted with bruno. they two of them met when bruno initially joined passione as a child, and due to his age, steven started to look out for him wherever he could. but since bruno is under polpo’s jurisdiction and he has his *own* team to take care of, there’s not much steven can do without it being seen as overstepping. still, they keep in contact.

☆ his most trusted bodyguard is a woman named hot pants. she hails from rome, in an area close to vatican city. she’s been a part of passione since the age of sixteen after she ran away at the age of thirteen thanks to her guilt over accidentally getting her younger brother, deacon, killed.

☆ whenever she goes on a mission with steven, she assumes a male disguise for her safety and so that no one from her previous life (such as her parents) would recognize her at a glance. as a way of keeping his memory alive, she uses her late brother’s name for this disguise.

☆ lucy is steven’s great niece, related to him through her mother. she was born into a huge family, with an older brother and four younger siblings. as the eldest daughter, she feels a certain responsibility towards the well-being of her siblings. this increased tenfold after their mother died, and their father struggled to care for them.

☆ eventually, her father finds himself knee-deep in debt with passione and is asked to either give up his house or one of his children as payment. lucy takes it upon herself to leave, just to ensure her family's safety.☆ when steven hears of this, he swoops in immediately to pay off her family’s debts and to take custody of lucy. lucy’s younger siblings are told that she’s attending a fancy boarding school on a scholarship, while her father and older brother know the truth.

☆ living with steven is more than a little awkward. he’s never really been in lucy’s life, save for a few meetings when she was younger and at her mother’s funeral. not to mention, steven’s never actually raised a child before. still, he tries his best to treat her well.

☆ hot pants, on the other hand, is distant from lucy at first. she’s reminded too much of her brother, whose personality was similar to lucy’s. they don’t stay in the same room for very long.

☆ gyro zeppeli is a former med student who shadowed under cioccolata for a brief time, though he was always wary of the man. he’s unknowingly saved a few would-be victims, much to cioccolata’s annoyance. gyro doesn’t miss him when he’s eventually fired.

☆ the zeppelis were involved with a completely different crime family at first, at least until passione absorbed it into its own organization. as such, gyro eventually joined passione too. his first team was la squadra, and he doesn’t like thinking about them too much.

☆ he left them in favor of steven’s team once sorbet and gelato died. while he was angry at their deaths, he wasn’t too keen on figuring out diavolo’s identity for the sake of revenge. he figured that there was a better way of avenging them that didn't include making their same mistakes.

☆ diego keeps his past a closely guarded secret. the most that’s known about him is that he lived in a mansion in cairo with his single mother and a bunch of other people he can hardly remember. he wants to rise up the ranks of passione and become a capo in his own right, a fact that he likes to bring up all the time.

☆ johnny is the newest member of sistemi informatici, freshly disowned from his family after the death of his older brother nicholas. steven hadn’t initially planned on recruiting him when he took johnny in, but johnny was stubborn enough to push the issue until steven agreed.

[golden-buddle]

Here I am- making an entire AU for the Movie just so I can make some more SecurityWaiter content-

To keep from spamming, I’m dropping it under a Read More-

Anyway, in this AU, Vanessa doesn’t exist.

Instead, Evan, Elizabeth, and Michael are William’s kids.

Michael, when he was very young, was removed from the house. There was an, uh, accident, with his Mother, and the CPS took toddler Mike away.

Mike was then adopted out to the Schmidt’s, who changed his last name and raised him as their own.

Evan died young- though unlike in the games, he didn’t die because of the bullies. He was just fascinated by the spring locks, and as little kids are, he got into places he shouldn’t- specifically, the workshop.

He died to Golden Freddy.

William, having lost his wife, his oldest, and now his youngest, snapped.

Blaming Henry Emily, his business partner for his creation’s murder of his son, William got drunk one rainy night and went out.

There, he found his work partner’s daughter, Charlotte, who was locked out of the Pizzaria.

He brought her into the alleyway besides the Pizzaria, and he killed her.

The security puppet, specifically made to keep the children from getting out of the building, then finally got out of its box that the other kids trapped it into, it left the building, and as the rain continued to pour and thunder rolled in the distance, it wrapped itself around Charlotte’s body.

Charlotte was the first, and she went on to possess the Puppet.

Time then passed. After Charlotte died, William noticed that the Puppet’s face was now stained with purple tears, Charlotte’s favorite color, and he figured out that the little girl had possessed the animatronic.

He continued to murder, killing kids one by one. The missing kids incident happened- then another missing kids incident happened, another, another, another.

He got caught a few times, but he was always let go due to the lack of evidence. None the less, the Afton name was not seen highly.

Deciding to move onto higher rate of capturing the kiddies, William made the Funtimes- and subsequently lost his last remaining child to the deathjaws of his creations.

Baby, along with the other Funtimes were locked below William’s house.

Changing his name, William fled Utah and moved to Minnesota.

But, of course, he couldn’t leave his favorite creations behind.

The Puppet, the first, had to go with him.

Along with both of the Springlock suits. Bonnie was his favorite, after all, and he while Baby was vengeful and aggressive, Golden Freddy was nice and placid.

Of course, if he was going to lug all three animatronics with him, he might as well go all the way. He took the other four animatronics, the ones who held 4 of the first 5 children he murdered.

He made sure he still owned the branch of Freddy’s Pizzaria in Minnesota, got rid of the current rundown animatronics still there, and moved in his bunch.

The Puppet grew.. angry at the movement, and much to William’s chagrin, he moved her to the back of the building, in the storage shed, where she would be locked up and far away from the others.

At that, William noticed that the other haunted animatronics were so much more calmer- less aggressive.

Of course, they still murdered, but the killing attempts were no longer pointed towards him.

William was fascinated by that- and thought maybe the reason for that was because of the Puppet’s separation from the others- so he kept her locked there. Forgotten and alone.

Meanwhile, Mike had gained custody of his adopted Little Sister, and was now looking for a job after losing his last.

Meeting up with his Job Coach, Steve Raglin offered him a new job- and the movie began.

[wardaykgerblin]

I just thought of a Sonic au where little orphan Sonic is found and adopted into the echidna tribe, with little Knuckles being his brother. But then when echidnas go extinct, Sonic gets washed away from Angle Island with no way to get back (he his smol child now terrified of the ocean), leaving Knuckles thinking he is dead like the rest of the tribe.

But then they reunite later with the addition of Tails as a little brother so yay! :DDD

[rory-multifandom-mess]

UHH SO... I made a Welcome Home Au! Have some art or something LMFAO- You can view the speedpaint here!

Will I explain more about this AU? I'm not sure. Will I share anything about said AU after this? Knowing me, probably not. The only explanation you get is the pinned comment on the video. Have fun with the implications of this <3

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[zeropro]

omgg i love how you drew coneheads theyre so silly❤❤❤ do u have any headcanons about them??

Sorry, I don't have any :P

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hi hello! I'm writing a story in my original world, set in a Fantasy Wales. A King Arthur Returns type story, if that matters.

I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about Welsh ecology? And possibly also some cultural details?

Thanks ahead of time! And I understand if you decline or don't respond!

YES OH MY GOD YES HELLO

[sturionic]

HALT! Americans seeking to confidently and wrongly explain other countries' politics, and Canadians who failed 6th grade social studies:

Since I've just seen this for like the 20th time today, let's go over real quick some hot topics about the Canadian political system.

Did Prime Minister Trudeau "use the tariffs" as a power-grab to hold onto his seat? No, he did not. PM Trudeau resigned his seat and then agreed to stay on until the Liberal Party of Canada chose a new leader. He abided by the timeline he set, and did not stay a second longer than would have been expected of him under due Canadian process. He is now fini.

Did the New Democratic Party and the Conservative Party initiate a government shutdown? No. The Governor General initiated Parliament being prorogued (which they usually do under the advice of the sitting PM) - which is not remotely the same thing as a USA government shutdown. "Proroguing" parliament is basically hitting a big ol' pause/reset button on any legislative and funding decisions in progress. Everything else in the government continues on as normal. Whether a given Canadian agrees with the current rationale or not, the fact is that Canadian governments do this all the time. The NDP and Conservatives pledged to a future no-confidence vote, which does unseat the current PM - but this is still not the same thing as a government shutdown, and now the situation may change as the PM went ahead and beat them to it by resigning on his own.

Mark Carney is, as of Sunday, Canada's new PM-Designate. Was he (GASP) unelected?! Is this undemocratic?! This one's for the gajillion Americans I've seen spouting this garbage all over social media. Jesus christ no this is not how Canadian democracy works. If you see other Americans saying this, smack them upside the head for me, please and thank-you. Canadians do not elect the individual Prime Minister. In a federal election, you rock up to the booth and are given a ballot listing the MPs (Members of Parliament) for your riding (electoral district) - the idea being that you're voting for a local person who will then go forth and represent your riding's interests in Parliament. Your vote for an MP is also a vote for the political party they are attached to, unless they are an independent. The Prime Minister is elected by the party. Justin Trudeau stepped down as PM, so it is the responsibility of the LPC to elect his successor, and they chose Mark Carney, who won against several other LPC candidates running. No doubt Carney will trigger a general election soon, and the Canadian populace will have the chance to decide whether they like the LPC with Carney at the head any better than they liked the LPC with Trudeau at the head. 4. Are you saying all of this because you're a Liberal Party apologist/Trudeau defender/Carney fan?! No. The Liberal Party of Canada are a bunch of fucking ghouls and it shrivels my very soul that the federal NDP have fucked up every hand they've been dealt since 2015; so our viable choices are "party of fucking ghouls who have been sitting around in a dark room jerking each other's withered tallywhackers for the past century" or "Party who are very open about the fact that they are going to turn around, drop their pants, and sell the whole country to the USA for 50¢ the literal second they're elected." You can hate Canadian politicians or Canada as a country all you like. That said, holy shit, can we not confidently mislabel other countries' politics as 'undemocratic.' It is really, really, CRUCIALLY, FUCKING VITALLY important right now not to accidentally fall ass-first into the American government's strategy of "trying to make Canada look like an undemocratic backwater in need of 'saving'" because that is how the American government sets the stage for invasions of other countries. Please. Do better.

[aestheticallynotdeerlightful]

Style swap- Invader Zim and Psychonauts

Cause I thought it would be fun and practice

.

(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me first thank you <3)

[bloobydabloob]

Do you think being aware of the different elements in art or just ordinary objects can make the process of actually making art difficult? I get that it's about balance and unity of it all, but being introduced to so many concepts early on feels like too much. Almost feels like learning to make art digitally for the first time -> introduced to all these neat gadgets but no idea how to use them or where

This is a crazy good point anon & very important. YES I think it makes it exponentially harder

[hpowellsmith]

New Game Announcement: THE EARTH HAS TEETH by Harris Powell-Smith

Play the current WIP demo on cogdemos or itch!

Developer Diary | ROs | Tagged posts

A century ago, the tiger god Vastan fought a risen demon over the steppes and mountains that are your home, battling for mastery over the earth below. Their war poisoned the land, causing magical storms that twist the mind and the elements alike. At the moment of Vastan’s eventual triumph she was grievously wounded, retreating beneath the mountains to be cared for by a sect of worshippers known as the Guardians of Tulara. You are one of those Guardians: a scout who ventures from the secretive monastery to hunt, gather, and trade with those living on the plains. Protected from the storms by Vastan’s power even as she sleeps, you care for your wounded god in your small, safe community. Until today. After an attack on your monastery that leaves your comrades dead and scattered, you cut a piece of your god to preserve her in a weakened, half-alive state and run. Scraping together a living as a hunter, forager, and courier on the dangerous steppes, you must survive the gathering storms while searching for a way to bring your god back to life. In this fantasy game of tragedy and survival, will you rebuild your order or forge a new path of your own, align with Vastan or rebel against her? Will you bring back your god and protect your lands, or take this chance to seize power for yourself?

Play as male, female, or non-binary; cis or trans; gay, straight, or bisexual; asexual and/or aromantic; allosexual and/or alloromantic; monogamous or polyamorous

Befriend, romance, clash with, or destroy an ambitious, stubborn magic enthusiast with a lot to prove; a hard-bitten courier determined to be self-reliant while looking after their own; a haughty, visionary herbalist obsessed with preserving knowledge for future generations; an outgoing, no-nonsense guard with a strong protective streak; a fast-talking witch-turned-con-artist who might have a heart of gold somewhere.

Survive the storms: use your skills and knowledge to help the communities on the steppes–or only yourself

Unearth dark secrets on the steppes: will you share them with the world, or bury them once more?

Build your relationship with your dying god and rebuild her power, or use it for your own ends

Give of yourself or others for the greater good, persuade your god to different paths, or rebel against her entirely

When the storm hits, what will you sacrifice for survival?

The MC of The Earth Has Teeth

You’ve lived in the Tulara monastery all your life, along with a group of around fifty Guardians of Vastan. After your parents died in a storm when you were in your mid-teens, you were cared for by the other Guardians and have lived a comfortable, if hard-working, life.

You’re now 25 and an experienced scout, adept at travelling alone and surviving in the wilderness. Thanks to Vastan’s power and protection, you’ve rarely wanted for food and even if some of your trips outside were harder than others, the safe haven of the monastery walls was always waiting for you.

Not anymore.

Vastan the tiger god

In your holy texts, Vastan is described as a tiger larger than the sky who moves faster than the eye can see and has all-powerful influence. As you know her, she appears as a tiger striped black-and-gold the size of a house, who sleeps in a huge underground chamber deep in the Tulara monastery.

While the demon Nerekay had influence over and could warp the elements, Vastan’s power is entwined with nature, protection, and growth. She made unearthly plants grow and flourish in the monastery, and her presence improved the health of her Guardians. She can also provide protection from the hypnotic, mind-altering storm sickness and, before the attack, she shielded the monastery from storms hitting it at all.

You carry a part of Vastan with you now, and although her powers are diminished, she can still lend you help when you’re in need.

Magic in Amikya

In Amikya, the land in which you live, priests draw magical power from Vastan through time-honoured religious ritual, whereas witches do so through practices more like folk medicine and superstition passed down through generations of folklore. Not all witches consider their power to come from Vastan: some see it as drawing magic from the earth.

There are blurred lines between the practices, though not every witch or priest would like to admit such a thing, and not every town approves of magical practices at all.

Major Befriendable and Romanceable Characters

All the romanceable characters are gender-flippable. All characters can be romanced monogamously; some can be romanced polyamorously in various configurations - more on that later!

Armell Bassar (23): the only child of a town leader, Armell is passionate about learning more magic to protect and expand their home. With a keen mind and more intensity than they know what to do with, Armell is eager to prove themself to their community and to their mother. (flippable between cis man/cis woman/agender)

Elisei/Elena/Elis Kiriyak (32): an expert herbalist and potion-maker, Dr. Kiriyak is near-obsessive about their collection of seeds and potions and the knowledge they’ve amassed. Some might call them arrogant; Kiriyak would say that’s irrelevant. (flippable between trans man/trans woman/genderqueer)

Nikita Leu (25): a courier carrying items and messages as well as escorting people, Nikita is an excellent survivalist and has endured a dangerous itinerant life on the plains despite experiencing tragedy. Nikita is generally withdrawn and self-reliant to a fault. (flippable between cis man/cis woman/transfem)

Serhii/Sara/Saba Roschin (39): the leader of a town guard, Roschin is boisterous and cheerful, and likes to be the first to dive in to fix a problem. Roschin is a bold fighter and protector who may go too far when joking around but will stand up for others when it matters. (flippable between cis man/cis woman/transmasc)

Valeria/Valerio Chernenko (26): a flamboyant witch who guides travellers through storms and sells magical charms, Val’s trinkets aren't always as effective as they claim. Living a transient life, Val relies on their wits to avoid trouble - not always successfully. (flippable between trans man/trans woman/nonbinary transfem)

[creation-help]

Forget ships. Which ocs are friends

[buddygrouse]

my pacific rim uprising rewrite

[burningcheese-merchant]

Finally made a BurningCheese chart. I can finally die now /j

More detailed explanations under cut. I admit that my placements are a liiiiiiiiiittle all over the place because I ship BurningCheese a bunch of different ways, but for the most part it's really the enemies to lovers + redemption arc from my main canon influencing my thoughts here

Tropes: idk if this really needs much elaboration. Enemies to Lovers + Soulmates + Forbidden Love (the hero/villain type) + God Couple + Narrative/Character Foils + Golden Cheese has some tsundere tendencies at points + Burning Spice's yandere tendencies + Tall and Short + idk the exact names of all the tropes man lol. These are probably the most important ones

Age Difference: who actually knows lol. They're both old coots, that's the gist of it. They're so old that they both knew the Burger King when he was a prince. They're so old their birth certificates already expired. They're so old that if you told them to act their age, they'd keel over and die on the spot. Old people being madly in love even after so many years is so cute 😭

Height Difference: If your Burning Spice does not have to duck when walking through doorways then you're imagining him wrong. Hell I STILL might've made him too short. Golden Cheese must barely reach his shoulder while standing and fit snugly in his lap while sitting, It Is Decreed (I know 5'7" isn't THAT short, I'm just leaning into the short queen jokes)

Trust Lvl: This was a little tough for me because I was juggling multiple factors at once. I gave BS 100% trust because I think, no matter what, he genuinely would trust her. To love him, to be loyal, to be there when he needs her, to beat his ass black and blue when necessary, to listen to what he has to say about things. He's giving his whole entire self to her without hesitation or regrets. / There's that bit of the bar still empty for Golden Cheese because, even when she warms up to him (and she never once doubts his love for her, that's not the issue), she's not entirely sure of what he'll do. For a long while yet, some part of her will worry that he will turn on her and resume his reign of terror at any moment. She needs time and consistency. Proof that he will choose her over destruction if and when pushed. When he's fully able to do that, THEN she trusts him fully. (Outside of the main canon, it remains a bit empty (even LOWER in some instances) bc he very much remains evil and she cannot abide by that)

Jealousy Lvl: Burning Spice is jealous and possessive but not overly so. He doesn't really need to be; he knows his little bird is loyal. But she's a beautiful woman in more ways than one, and he's far from the only person to notice that. So he gets mad when he catches anyone making goo-goo eyes at her, or even flirting if they somehow have the gumption. He doesn't harm them anymore but he will step in and make some show of dominance, like grabbing her and pulling her into a kiss or scooping her up in his arms. Something to pointedly demonstrate that she is HIS and no one else's. / Golden Cheese is very confident and secure; she knows her worth and she knows and trusts that Burning Spice would never stray. But... in the end, she's still Golden Cheese. She's still greedy. She still doesn't want anyone coveting what is hers, no matter what. It's practically a compulsion at this point. So in those (thankfully rare) moments where some floozy who's forgotten her place tries to make a move on HER man, then she's more than happy to correct her. (The encounter ends with Spice covered in kiss marks (and super happy) and the wannabe homewrecker in tears because Golden can be a MEAN girl when she tries)

Horny Lvl: I might've made a mistake not marking Spice's a little bit higher because he's definitely a horndog lol. Of course he's not completely fucking bonkers but he does often struggle to keep his hands off of his bird wife. Physical touch is his main love language anyway + goddamn it she's gorgeous she's everything he ever wanted he NEEDS HER- / Golden Cheese very much enjoys sex and thinks their sex life is perfect, but she's not as needy as him. Like, she doesn't DIE for it unless it's been too long. She has self-control/discipline and other things to think about lol (there's actually a nsfw ship chart that I've thought about filling out and posting, but idk if I should. I have a billion headcanons for them, sfw and nsfw. I'm just nervous abt the latter because I feel kind of embarrassed lol. I usually save the freaky stuff for AO3)

Clingy Lvl: Again, physical touch is Burning Spice's main love language. That combined with his time in prison (millennia in isolation) and Golden Cheese being his literal soulmate makes for a good deal of separation anxiety lol. He will give her space if she really pushes, and of course he has things he wants to do on his own time and she can't always be around. But... no matter what, at the end of the day, he NEEDS her back in his arms. He gets bored and lonely really fast without her. She makes his day better just being near him. He needs to touch her, hold her, hear her voice, run his hands through her wings, taste those pretty lips again... / With all of the hardship she's endured in her life, Golden Cheese has developed a certain tolerance for solitude. Of course she'd rather have company, including his, but if push comes to shove, she can handle being alone. She's fiercely independent in many aspects of her life. Her time with Burning Spice can wait if something more important comes up. She won't die without him. (But she'll certainly miss him)

How It Happens: come on man, you played the game, didn't you? BS falling head over heels on sight, feelings only deepening with time and closeness, and him doing everything in his power to be near her as often as possible? For sure. Golden Cheese taking 10000 years to warm up to him, slowly starting to see the halfway decent man buried deep down beneath the blackened soil of his heart, starting to care for him and want him by her side without even realizing it at first, and trying to deny it when she finally does realize what's happening? Definitely

Relationship Attitude: Obviously they're both very much in love and devoted to each other, but Golden Cheese dials it back a bit in public - just for the sake of appearances, really. She's the queen; she can't go about acting like a lovestruck schoolgirl, she has a reputation to uphold. Burning Spice, on the other hand, absolutely does not give a fuck about what anyone has to say about anything at all. He WILL trap his little bird in a warm embrace and he WILL smother her with kisses and fuck whoever is standing there watching, they can fuck off and mind their own business

First to Confess: He may not have said the exact words "I love you" but good Lord he may as well have with how he behaves in episode 6 lmao. 555-COME-ON-NOW (and omg he is SO fucking happy she eventually says it back)

First to Kiss: Spice. Duh lol. Honestly the only reason he didn't kiss her during eps 5 and 6 is because Devsis are a bunch of cowards

First to Apologize: Another tough one bc they're both very proud/stubborn and would probably demand the other apologize before they do. But because Golden Cheese is a hero at her core, I think it's a bit more likely that she'd say it first. Usually.

Initiates Contact: Spice all the way. He even initiated when they first met lol. He's always the one seeking her out, starting conversations, getting those big strong arms of his around her. Not that she never initiates, he just does it a lot more

Spoils the Other: In total honesty I think they both spoil the other, just in different ways. Golden Cheese with food and trinkets and general pampering, Burning Spice with that physical affection of his. Plenty of flirting and compliments from both. But Goldie is Goldie so of course she wins lol. As if she wouldn't lavish her lover with the finest of everything all the time

Wakes Up First: As queen, Golden Cheese has long since grown accustomed to rising bright and early to attend to her kingdom and subjects. "Early bird gets the cheese" and all that. Burning Spice sleeps like the dead and always wakes up after her (usually to grumble about her getting up bc he doesn't want her to. He tries to hold her hostage in bed almost every morning)

Does the Cooking: Believe it or not, Burning Spice is actually a pretty good chef (I headcanon him as such haha). Golden Cheese really loves the food he makes (he's best with food from his own culture, but he does a good job with other things too) and she's used to other people cooking for her (she's pretty basic at it tbh. She doesn't burn water like Hollyberry but she can't do much) so hubby making her good food? Yes please

Does the Housework: I cannot imagine Golden Cheese NOT being a bit of a neat freak. Why wouldn't she want everything looking pristine 24/7, to fit her immaculate visions of an immaculate, prosperous land? Burning Spice is Burning Spice, he would sleep on the fucking floor and in piles of trash and dirty clothes (and probably has tbh) if left alone, he is literally Destruction why would he clean anything. He gets pissy when he sweeps the floor with a broom for 5 seconds he ain't doing no housework unless forced to (which he often is)

Does the Talking: Was going to leave just Goldie but tbh I don't see Spice just standing there while she talks. He'd want to talk himself. He'd want to participate. He's not shy, he's no introvert. They're both asserting themselves in conversations for sure

The More Popular: I chose to define "popular" as "regarded with affection and respect by many", thus handing it to Goldie. Spice has his soldiers and they are numerous, but they obey him only out of fear. Golden is genuinely loved and listened to. (Even post-redemption, people just gravitate to her more lol. Just how it is)

The Designated Driver: Burning Spice behind the wheel is a doomsday scenario. He has been preemptively banned from driving to prevent death and property damage and war crimes. Fine, whatever, he'd rather walk. He doesn't need this newfangled contraption no matter how cool it is. Come on let him drive a monster truck 200 mph through concrete walls :(

The Better Caregiver: I'm certain they'd both take care of each other when sick or injured. Doubly so since both would probably balk at being fussed over lol. (I know Golden has her attendants and likes being pampered but I feel like it would just hit different with Spice, you know?) They're both proud and stubborn and need to appear strong all the time... But when the shoe is on the other foot, they'd both do whatever they can for the other regardless of their protests. (Especially true on Spice's part when Golden is pregnant with their kids, he goes above and beyond for her both times)

The Overprotective One: This is more so when Golden is pregnant tbh. Any other time, they don't really worry much about each other's safety as they're very confident in each other's strength and fighting capabilities ("I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me"). When she's pregnant, Spice goes full Protective Husband/Papa Bear mode and both worships the ground she walks on and fusses over he constantly, almost treating her like a porcelain doll. Her needs and wants are always met immediately, but he basically becomes her second shadow and is even hostile to other people who interact with her. It's both sweet and frustrating

The Planner: Golden Cheese planned a whole ass highly detailed virtual reality where her subjects could live again. Burning Spice forsook planning and anything like it in his descent into villainy as he couldn't bring himself to care about it anymore. Destruction doesn't need a plan. So yeah, Golden is the planner for sure. Best Spice would do is maybe try to plan dates because he wants to please/impress her

"Excuse me, they asked for no pickles": Spice just likes watching Golden go and firmly correct people lol. It's funny and hot. He doesn't even really care that the pickles are there, he just loves her assertiveness

Big Spoon VS Little Spoon: Was going to leave Spice on Big Spoon end and Golden on Little Spoon end but tbh, they'd split it. Spice is Big Spoon more often than not but Golden would definitely be Big Spoon too. They holdin each othah

Early Bird VS Revenge Procrastination: refer to "Wakes Up First". Golden has a kingdom to run, can't sleep in. Spice technically does too but whatever they're tough they can do shit on their own, he wants to lay in bed with his bird wife go away

Tidy VS Chaotic: Refer to "does the housework". Golden Cheese cares about appearances and functionality, she wants her kingdom and living space clean and beautiful and the envy of the world. Burning Spice is Burning Spice

Screams Over Bugs VS Kills/Removes Bugs: I don't think Golden would do either tbh. Probably just shoo the bug away. Spice is squashing that fucker though, even post-redemption (old habits die hard)

Lends Clothes VS Borrows Clothes: Spice doesn't really have too many clothes to lend tbh (too big + not really her style). She mostly nabs any jewelry he has lol. He doesn't mind, he actually really adores that she'll wear his things. He sees it as a show of pride in their relationship. (Shhh... Sometimes, when they've been apart for a long time and his absence feels particularly painful, she'll grab one of his dhotis and wrap herself up in it. Bring it to her face, breathe in his scent. Revel in its softness. Don't tell anyone)

Takes Hints VS Clueless: ngl as forward as Spice is with Golden, I'm not sure he'd notice or care if anyone else flirted with him. He just doesn't seem like the type to have ever cared about that sort of thing, both as Herald and as Beast. Too wrapped up in other ideas and pursuits (and in the event that he actually caught on to someone hitting on him, Herald would've politely turned them down and Beast would viciously mock them and probably kill them). Like, Golden actually is the one person that ever caught his eye. And she's got more relationship experience under her belt and knows how to be subtle, so there actually are times when she says or does something and it goes over his head (it's cute and funny sometimes and frustrating others)

Romantic VS Casual: They're certainly not casual but I think Golden would put more effort into being romantic just as a consequence of who she is. That "wanting to pamper and adore my lover to the fullest extent" thing. Spice didn't care about love or romance before her, and was just never really a romantic type. He tries to pick it up more just for her. But what he perceives to be romantic doesn't always align with "tradition" (ex: he thinks their brutal fights are hot/romantic). He does have some charm, he can be smooth, he can do genuinely sweet and romantic things. But it's something he learns and refines over time

Decisive VS Indecisive (I FORGOT THIS ONE FUCK): They're both pretty decisive and firm in their decisions. What makes Golden hesitate is specifically her relationship and interactions with Spice. Grappling with the reality of her feelings and attachment and their relationship. Wondering if he'll turn on her when she lets her guard down. Struggling with the morality of it all. Fearing rejection to a small degree maybe. (I honestly like the concept of the Beasts and Ancients bringing things out of each other that no one else can or has. Like how Shadow Milk makes Pure Vanilla genuinely angry, or Burning Spice makes Golden Cheese doubt herself and her choices. I want them all keeping each other on their toes. Challenging each other. Making each other upset when they're happy and happy when they're upset. You know what I mean?)

Mature VS Playful: I think they're both equally playful with each other tbh. Something they're both on the same level with. Lots of banter (I love writing their back-and-forths, imo they'd keep up with each other so well), lighthearted sarcasm and jabs and jokes, some play fighting/roughhousing. They have fun with each other

Straightforward VS Vague: Spice has been telling Golden things to her face from minute 1. Just admitting all of his shit to her. Spilling his spaghetti. He likes her, he wants her, they're going to be together forever. Point blank period.

Confident VS Shy: Of course they're both super confident, do I have to elaborate? Lol

Ray of Sunshine VS Done™️: Golden may not be on the same level as Pure Vanilla (nobody is lol) but even so, all things considered, she seems like a relatively happy person. Still finds joy in life and things. She's not cold or stoic or anything like that. Spice... I probably should've moved him further to the right tbh. I just always think of "done" as "visibly tired" and I let that influence his placement. He IS tired, he IS done, it just presents differently. So forgive me and imagine his little Soul Jam there being significantly closer to the end of the right side please and thank you

Realistic VS Idealistic: dude come on lol. The game spells it out for us. Spice is a cruel, bloodthirsty nihilist who goes out of his way to take down things that make people happy. Who virulently denies the value of life and humanity and insists that everything and everyone are only destined to become dust, and any attempt to stop or deny this is futile and pathetic. He's cynical, pessimistic, doesn't do "hope" or ideals anymore. Golden, on the other hand, believes so strongly in her own dreams and ideals that she locked herself away in a false reality just so she could "revive" her kingdom. And when she woke, she continued dedicating herself to finding a way to bring them all back. She is hope and idealism incarnate, to the point of straight up delusion. They're both extremes that mirror each other

Would Die for Attention VS Independent: Look at all the crazy shit Spice has done so Golden would pay attention to him lol. He needs the pretty cheese lady to notice him and talk to him and touch him and beat him up. Please. Pretty please (not as pretty as her though, nothing is). Please they're soulmates she has to. He won't immediately burst into flames if she's not next to him 24/7, but he's happier with her than without. He starts itching when they're apart for too long (and it doesn't take all THAT long tbh). As said before, Golden likes and wants his company but she's always been a fiercely independent woman and can handle solitude

Tense VS Easygoing: wasn't super sure what to do for this one. Like idk what "tense" is supposed to mean here. I think Golden is relatively normal about everything, doesn't worry about cheating or anything else really. I attribute that little bit of tenseness in Spice to his jealousy and clinginess. But otherwise he's probably fine

Head VS Heart: neither of them are stupid, far from it, but it's clear that they both allow emotion to govern their actions more than logic lol. No matter how he may claim to have destroyed his own emotions to rid himself of attachment, it's clear that Burning Spice still feels things, in general but ESPECIALLY for/about her. It's all heart when it comes to her. No logic, no laws, no rules, just him and her and THEM. Just their connection, just their relationship. Golden Cheese may still abide by a somewhat stronger logical anchor, but even so, she's a "heart" girl. It's her heart that pushed her to make her fantasy world. It's her heart that makes her cling so hard to her treasures, despite logically knowing they're gone. It was her heart that saved her in episode 6, her thoughts and memories and love for her friends that made and still make her strong. And though logic fights a good fight with regards to her relationship with Spice, it's her heart that wins again in the end