#PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
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I have this idea regarding what to do with my body postmortem, which is that there'd be a button hooked up to my skull that plays recordings of stupid things I said in life
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Never thought I'd ship Bowser and Luigi but here we are...
I drew this in less than half-an-hour so it's pretty shitty but you know what? I love it.
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What do we think of this? Explanations below 😭
Jezebel x Ahab - The Phoenician princess Jezebel was married to king Ahab of Israel as part of a political alliance. She was key in the attempt to replace the Israelite state religion with her own, killing a few people along the way. She also got Ahab the vineyard he wanted (..through some murderous means..) when his own negotiations failed. Definitely the top in that relationship ;)
Jesus x Judas - something something, must you betray me with a kiss, something something, do what you are here to do, something something, he went and hanged himself
Eve x Lilith - Now, in the Bible, Lilith is only actually mentioned in Isaiah (as an evil spirit), then expanded upon in later tradition (to explain the two Creation accounts in Genesis). In this later tradition, she was said to be Adam's first wife who wouldn't submit to him, so God made another from his rib: Eve. I don't think they ever met, but I have seen some fanart, so here they are
Ruth x Naomi - MY OTP. Canon, because I said so. Tragic, because basically all their male relatives die and then Ruth has to marry Boaz for security. Ruth 1:16-17 my beloved 💔
Jacob x Leah - Put this here as a joke about the fact that Jacob always preferred her sister Rachel over Leah herself, and was tricked into marrying her by Laban.
Mary x Joseph - Two thirds of the Holy Family: the ever-compassionate Mother of God (in Christianity) and the step-dad who Stepped Up. See Matthew 1 & 2, Luke 1 & 2, or the (apocryphal) Protoevangelium of James for more
Devorah x Jael - Doesn't make sense as they never actually meet, but when you have two gaslight-gatekeep-girlbosses in the same chapter, they gotta be together. Don't usually recommend reading Judges (for your own mental health), but maybe look into Judges 4 just for them ;)
David x Jonathan - Where to begin? With how Jonathan's soul was said to be bound with David's, and how he loved him as himself? (1 Sam. 18:1-5) Jonathan risking his life to help David escape King Saul's wrath? (1 Sam. 19 and 20) The pair weeping and kissing before they part? (1 Sam. 20:41) David, in his mourning for [spoilers] Jonathan's death, calling his love more wonderful than that of women? (2 Sam. 1)
Absalom x Mephibosheth - David's son and Jonathan's son, whom David adopted. The two fans are @anniflamma and @sir-davey
Daniel x Darius - King Darius the Mede and the eunuch from Judah he falls for at first sight. Or something. Idk, ask anniflamma
Judith x unnamed maid - It does make sense, I swear. Probably unpopular because it's in the Deuterocanon, and also you have to be really looking for it -- but it is there, I promise!!!
St Paul - Just see 1 Corinthians 7
Don't take this too seriously lol, it's all in good fun :))
Feel free to add what you would have done differently / your own propaganda!
#bible fandom#please don't take this seriously#jesus x judas#i'm more of a jesus x john girl but jesus x judas is undoubtedly more popular#at least on here#jezebel#king ahab#eve x lilith#ruth and naomi#jacob and leah#mary x joseph#deborah x jael#david x jonathan#absalom x mephibosheth#daniel x darius#judith x her maid#not tagging st paul#sorry ml </3#bible stuff#mop
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Sanemi, filming himself using his cellphone: I'm proud to identify as moronsexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for Tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight every night
Sanemi, smiling: watch this
Sanemi, focusing the camera on Giyuu who's busy typing on his phone as he sat by the couch: Hey dumbass, what kind of animal is the pink panther?
Giyuu, looking up to face Sanemi: *squinting as if to think longer than necessary* Wait, I'll google it
Sanemi, quickly panning the camera back at himself: It's this same guy
Sanemi, starts unbuttoning his shirt before he cuts off the video: Tomioka, you are so fucking stupid—
#based on that one popular tumblr post#please don't take this seriously#HAHAHAHAHAHA#sanegiyuu#shinazugawa sanemi#tomioka giyuu#giyuu x sanemi#they're dating okay#I'm hungry for modern aus of these two idiots#imagine vloggers sanegiyuu
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Outing myself as the dead-opposite of a Genshin rarepair lover to say that my favorite brand of Zhongli/Childe is definitely:
Grandpa's Mid-Life Crisis Retirement Checklist:
✅️ Flawless human disguise (no one suspects a n y t h i n g)
✅️ Part-time side hustle
✅️ Self-planned funeral (the flowers were fire 👌)
✅️ Friends know I'm not actually dead
✅️ Liyue flourishing
✅️✅️✅️ Russian mail order husband
#genshin impact#genshin impact shitpost#zhongli#childe#tartaglia#zhongchi#tartali#listen I don't understand how the fandom couldn't settle on#chili#as the ship name#PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY#(but I'm right though).#Other adepti's retirement plans:#meditation#inventing#cloud gazing#contemplation of nature's virtues#Rex Lapis' retirement plan:#Cause the biggest fucking commotion#throw myself the sickest retirement party#find the one (1) boy in Liyue Cloud Retainer would NOT approve of#whirlwind romance with a sexy young abyss-corrupted enemy of the state#Neuvillette voice: He blew up our courtroom???#Zhongli voice: *happy sigh* That rascal.#OKAY BUT BEING SERIOUS#What I actually mean is that I love Zhongli/Childe fics and art#that recognize that Zhongli had lost his sense of purpose#and begun to question whether his existence was even needed anymore#and Childe is so full of the will to live no matter what#to keep growing and improving just for the wild joy and sake of existence itself
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Why is it that 90% of the time when Ruin is getting threatened, it sounds like he's just being flirted with? I think everyone just wants Ruin deep down and is too ashamed to admit it so they threaten him instead
#/silly#Please don't take this seriously#fnaf#sun and moon show#five nights at freddy's#tsams ruin#tsams
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Me the second I enter heaven/hell in Vivziepop's universe.
#probalastorsreactionwhenhewokeupinhellfr#hazbin hotel#vivziepop#vivzieverse#hazbin angel dust#helluva boss#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#charlie morningstar#alastor#angel dust#vaggie#hazbin hotel husk#niffty#sir pentious#cherri bomb#adam hazbin hotel#/j#i'm joking#please don't take this seriously#but also kinda do#so like /hj#/hj but also not
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"I hate Victor so much!!! He's such an annoying loser!!!" OK. Anyways, you could not pull Henry Clerval
#this is a joke#please don't take this seriously#victor frankenstein#henry clerval#frankenstein#clervenstein#clervalstein#gothic literature#classic literature#goth lit#mary shelley
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Spoilers for good omens season 2 under the cut...
But like what if (post miracle) Jim and Beelzebub hung out a bunch huh? What then?
Sucks to be you, little guy.
That's all I got for now :p
#good omens 2 spoilers#ineffable bureaucracy#please don't take this seriously#they have and will always be my goofy little guys#assistant jim au#my art
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Dazai and his bitches.
#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#bsd fyodor#fyozai#kunizai#odazai#bsd sigma#sigmazai#double black#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#Please don't take this seriously#it's a joke.#multy.
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Imagine if Donovan had psychic powers, and Melinda was like that because she knows.
Is like the people from that episode of the Twilight Zone, that had to be happy because if they didn't, the psychic child would send them to the cornfield. 👀
Don't go to the cornfield, Melinda!
#spy x family#spy x family manga#spy x family spoilers#spy x family manga spoilers#sxf spoilers#sxf manga#spy x family manga spoiler#please don't take this seriously#I'm just a fan of The Twilight Zone
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I made this for a slightly unhinged Powerpoint presentation that I forced my friends to sit through and thought I might as well share it on here ................ enjoy
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Could "lord of the flies" be considered a book about male rage??
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Pomefiore is the trans dorm. All the trans peeps are put in there. The Dark Mirror takes one look at you and if you're trans it's like "Another one for Pomefiore".
My source: Trust me bro
Epel is all hung up on being put in Pomefiore and complains to Rook and Rook's like "Oui, it's because you're trans." Being trans is an entry requirement. Not everyone at NRC who's trans is in Pomefiore, but everyone in Pomefiore is trans. The Dark Mirror told me itself, this is 100% fact.
(Also Vil is totally genderfluid/bigender, Rook is 100% transfem, and Epel is absolutely transmasc)
Rook wanted to transfer to Pomefiore and the only question the mirror asked was "Are they trans?" When the answer was totally yes, it immediately let Rook transfer
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#shitpost#headcanon#rook hunt#pomefiore#epel felmier#vil schoenheit#please don't take this seriously#this is a shitpost headcanon#but also they're totally all trans in some way
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I was playing Dress to Impress and I received the theme "Musicals"
So have my Alexander Hamilton 💅✨
I don't know why I lost, he was perfect 😔😔
#i fear he ate#HE EVEN HAS THE FABULOUS BOOTS#I don't know what I'm doing#Please don't take this seriously#alexander hamilton#hamilton musical#hamilton memes#hamilton#dress to impress
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Concept: A societal health metric based on the observed distributed appreciation and popularity placed on individual musical performers.
My theory is that society is less healthy when vocalists are considered more important than the instrumentalists in a musical group. There is a perfect distribution to be found here.
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