#PHU BREAKS HIS PROMISE

[bl-bam-beyond]

Here Gigi (AMANDA JENSEN aka HEIDI) approaches Phu (KITTIKUN TANSUHAS aka KUN) as he waits for Nan. She reveals she likes Nan. Phu admitted only that he and Nan were best friends since childhood not that he to is in love with Nan.

As Phu watches unseen as Nan (WATTIKORN PERMSUBHIRUN aka KIAK) approaches Gigi who hands him a flower and hugs him. Phu goes home distraught. He then packs and leaves Nan the infamous note about going to Melbourne & disappears

PHUPHA (2022, THAILAND) The 1st Mini Series

Aired in August 2022

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - When good chemistry goes bad

May 2023 Wk 3 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - yes it jumped to the top of the standings, the kiss was THAT good, best of the year so far. So soft and yet so sweet and yearning and with a proper chemistry - body, breath, everything. Also... there was plot happening this ep, but who cares about that? Some additional thoughts, now my brain has rebooted from that kiss. I do suspect Pat of still being a player: he is awful smooth, and he may want revenge for being jacked along for 2 years (I would). Ep 4 is early for a kiss like that, which means pacing-wise we may be in for a separation/break up around ep 8. 

Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 5 of 10 (MDL still says 12, but Gaga still says 10) - Pat, dear, your gay is squirting all over our screens. Meanwhile… That is the smallest presidential suite bed I’ve ever seen. Lucky for us of course. And lucky for Jeng. Me with the side dishes = UH OH. 

Our Skyy 2 (My School President) eps 9-10 - Alt reality where Tinn is in charge of the music club and Gun is the school president with the crush. Basically, it’s an excuse for them to play each others’ parts (which just highlighted how well they were cast, originally). Ultimately, Gemini is a better piner, and Fourth is a better tsundere. Although the reversed “holding it over his head” was v funny & Fourth IS a decent seme. (I also realized what I like so much about Fourth, like Saint he’s one of those rare full body actors.) Sound was a great uke and I loved how they changed his makeup for the role (did you notice?). TiwPor were as adorably ridiculous as ever. I liked the minor baby pairing for Aun, too. Still my NO SIGNING holds (although there was lots of dancing to counterbalance). In the end, all this really did was make me wanna rewatch the original. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. FYI The MV was a parody of HCTM, BB, 1k*. 8/10 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 12fin - It was a cute sappy ending for a cute-ish sappy-ish show. I cannot abide that the mom who condoned the rape of her daughter got forgiven. No. Stop it GMMTV. Review below. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 9 of 10 - I'm in trouble when I'm rooting for everybody BUT the main couple. I guess Nan doesn’t have a NO SINGING policy. Also I guess Nan was waiting for Phu all along? This show. ALSO could we not have just ended it here? 

Past-senger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 eps - I don’t understand. What? Where did all these new characters come from? Do we care about the hets? Not even slightly. What is anyone doing? What’s going on? do I care abotu anyone anymore? No. Please make it stop. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - OMG so adorable, so repressed, so reserved, so soft, so awkward, so special. Heart melting. Also. Hungry. The WAY Minoru looks at Yutaka when he’s eating (now that he knows the history). The way we got to see the exact moment that Minoru realizes he is in love. Perfection. 

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 1-2 of 8 - Zuho (Kpop SF9 - noted good egg) opposite rookie actor Kim In Sung (the one with the crush). icky is being weird about it but it looks like Gaga also picked it up? Depends on your territory I suppose. Anygay: Friends since childhood, jock/nerd, puppy/cat and I sense bi-himbo confusion and pining introvert gay. There’s family strife plus class issues and it has some interesting things to say already about the nature of friendship, romance, and jealousy. I like it, weirdly reminds me of something that might have come out of China. Not early CBL, but some of the later stuff that was censored but hearkened to Addicted. This has the feel of what China could have made now (were things politically different). Because of this feel, I’m not confident in this being an HEA or even a true BL but it is interesting enough for me to bump it way up the ranks. 

Happy Merry Ending (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 7-8fin - I get why SJ pushed JH away, but I kinda agree that SJ is too much work. Abused or not, I wouldn’t put in the damn effort - so I guess I’m glad SJ took a year off to figure his shizz out? Far be it from me to agree with a year break in a Kdrama, tho. I didn’t even mind that they were separated most of these 2 eps: it was nice to see a Seme told no, who actually backed off and did as he was told. Plus the running of the gays (how Japan of you SK). I’m assuming that this was the final episode and that Viki thinking that there are 2 more is bonkers? Because this felt like a finale. For me this one had a stronger finish than any other aspect of the show (odd when the couple spent the bulk of it apart). Oh! And someone give Shin Myung Sung (the surfer bestie) his own damn BL, m’kay? Review below.

Love Mate (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - Longest elevator ride in the world. Honorifics discussion! My favorite! And, “there is only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway” trope. A BL staple. Also the tie/lanyard grab. Another fav. Still pushy puppy stalker remains creepy manipulative obsessive warped hotness. Basically KBL version of trash and… I’m into it. We all got our kinks, I guess. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) - Such a cat. I’m reminded of Milk. It’s cute. They cute. I like it.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - So is the nude dining meant to be some kind of weird allegory for repressed gayness? 

It’s Airing But ...

My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) 10 eps - I bounced at ep 4. Someone will tell me if I should bother with the rest. 

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end. 

The Day I Loved You (Pinoy YouTube) eps 6-7 of 10 - Terminal illness for the sunshine. I bounced at ep 6. DNF. 

Ended this week

Love Syndrome finished its run on WeTV (I stopped at ep 2) - anyone wanna weight in with thoughts on the ending and whether I should binge or not? I do love Lee Long Shi.

Happy Merry Ending - Stars Lee Dong Won (KNK) as an ex-idol turned wedding singer with an abusive ex and a panic disorder + the sunshine pianist who falls in love with him. Timid tsundere & sweetheart gay is an interesting match. They’re gentle together, almost kindly and there is a calm ache to their pairing. However, it lost its way as a BL, being more about the main character’s struggle than the romance. It had a strong finish but ultimately the premise & characters meant this was never going to be one of my favorites. 8/10  

A Boss and a Babe - With an inconsistent narrative and self-sabotaging characters this was not the Thai BL office romance I was hoping for. I spent most if it feeling manipulated without good reason and sorry for ForceBook. They did their best with a shoddy script (AGAIN!) and none of its flaws were their fault. This show was all over the place and so am I about it. It’s better than Enchanté but that’s not really saying much. 7/10 I guess

In Case You Missed It 

BL Express reported that Taiwanese production companies have announced 7 new BLs (4 of these from Vidol.) Stories range from office romance to crime drama. 

Someone did a survey on KBL watchers. 

Build Jakapan has been cleared of all charges. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting this week: 

5/26 Be My Favorite prev title: You Are My Favorite (Thai YouTube) Adapted JittiRain y-novel (2gether, FUTS, ToL, Vice Versa) one of those “rewrite the past to change the future.” Stars Krist (SOTUS) + Fluke Gawin (DBK, Not Me). Expect this to be v low heat, full of LIES and manipulation.

5/27 The Luminous Solution (Thai ????) 10 eps - Thana is having trouble at work and in his relationship. He can't seem to catch a break. So he makes a wish to change everything. The wish has a price.

5/27 Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan) - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS (but that has never stopped Japan before) and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I ?????  (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This Week’s Meta Moments 

naturellement (Step By Step naming its trope.)

The Promise calling out the uke archetype, Mary Sue much? 

ALL THE DANCING. Live the dream! Live the trend! Live the trope! 

4 tropes in one! Drinking, piggyback, feed him, product placement. Very nice GMMTV & GeminiFourth. I’m impressed.  

nash

(all My School President’s Our Skyy - kinda a masterclass in using ALL THE TROPES and ALL THE BL references.) 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The unmitigated irony of so-called fans of ZeeNunew coming after this show for this moment (not to mention the self sabotage). Truly mind boggling. (Step by Step)

The two boys who didn’t win the boy but totally should have. This show makes me wanna drink too. Next week... soju! (The Promise)

Yes please and thank you GMMTV. (My School President) 

I do love the kinkification of Phi. (Boss & Babe) 

These tiny idiots it turns out are, in fact, totally hilarious. La Pulie (side dish friendship group)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Key & Taeyeon’s Hate that... (which if it wasn’t an OST SHOULD have been)

[respectthepetty]

For those of you watching The Eighth Sense today, I know you want minimal angst, but I'll be watching The Promise and want ALL THE ANGST!

I want Nan to make Phu SUFFER! I want Nan to not speak to Phu and to not look in Phu's direction, but I want him to acknowledge Phu's existence only in the coldest and most distant way possible. I want Party to flirt with Nan in front of Phu's salad. I want Phu to CRY AN OCEAN of tears. I want Phu to feel the TEN YEARS of his betrayal to Nan every time Nan rejects him because I NEED Nan to reject Phu every time until Phu offers up some serious reasons why he kept up the lie for A DECADE! I want Phu in pain. I want Phu in agony. I want Phu hurting.

I've waited a month for this moment, so I'm consumed by this one objective, and I cannot watch anything else until this is done. I want Phu's heart to break and for him to realize that he was the sole cause of it.

I want vengeance.

[waitmyturtles]

@respectthepetty covered us yesterday with the BIG! NEWS! from The Promise, episode 8, that Nan realized that Phu has a brother in Khunkhao, who’s come back to Thailand from Melbourne. (And, wow, MAD PROPS to Nan for being the MOST WANTED MAN in SE Asia -- every last iota of testosterone is focused on our homey right now.)

Did we get the same dallying from Phu as from past episodes? Yeah, same. (Man, Phu? What the fuck? DISSING ON NAN’S COOKING before even trying it for YOUR BIRTHDAY DINNER? As a MOM, I am UPSET at this behavior, apologize! Apologize for EVERYTHING, I’m jabbing my index finger! Bad bad bad.)

But anyway, I’m getting distracted by something (and I’ll CC @heretherebedork and @shortpplfedup if you wanna add thoughts here), a theory that I cooked up while Phu was answering the interview questions and while he was being a whiny B during his BIRTHDAY DINNER:

I THINK NAN KNOWS THAT PHU LOVES HIM. 

Hear me out. Nan’s no dummy. He said he knew how Party felt about it when Party confessed.

AT THIS POINT -- if Nan knew about Party’s feelings -- certainly we could assume that Nan could also vibe on Phu and Phu’s feelings?

And/or -- ANOTHER THEORY, expanded from @heretherebedork‘s note about Nan being ready to confess via the birthday note on Phu’s plate:

Nan remembers the drunk college kiss while they’re in college. Nan wants it to continue and to ‘fess up to Phu. Phu leaves. Maybe, maybe -- NAN BLAMES HIMSELF for Phu leaving BECAUSE NAN HAS FEELINGS, TOO -- and Nan might think that HE chased off Phu. (Thus explaining this dumb cycle of Nan always blaming himself.)

Nan’s definitely still IN PAIN because Phu left. Before the mid-season break, Nan wanted Phu out of his life, because Phu wouldn’t explain why he left.

But I wonder if.... Nan is caught in the same cycle as Phu regarding confessing his feelings. Nan wanted to get an explanation from Phu as to why Phu left, and Nan deserves that explanation. But besides being abandoned -- does Nan want to know what Phu’s feelings for Nan are? Does Nan need confirmation that it was HIMSELF that Phu was running away from, because Nan loves Phu?

Or...was the birthday note written by Nan to HELP Phu feel comfortable in Phu’s own feelings for Nan? Is Nan trying to DRAW OUT Phu at this point?

All just theories. I will be so happy to be wrong. Our Dating Sim did awl this shit a whole lot better. But at least for the first theory, that Nan simply knows -- my auntie ears are perked and the scent trail is stronger. I’ll get on the WhatsApp auntie group chat with y’all to kibbitz. 

NAN KNOWS SOMETHING. NAN’S BEEN HOLDING ON TO SOMETHING THIS WHOLE TIME, sneaky. He’s not as innocent as his many admirers have you believe.

(Uncle Tong, you did it, you’re getting the ship sailing again -- the sea’s still choppy, but I think you can make it happen!)

[heretherebedork]

So once Nan said he wouldn't date a friend and now Phu has decided to forever break their friendship over it by constantly abandoning him even after promising to never leave again.

Because if you're gonna destroy a friendship, it's better to do it via ghosting then heartbreak... I guess?

Honestly, it doesn't even vibe with his constant insistence that he did it because he didn't want their friendship to change.

Like, why does he think ghosting is going to change it so much less than heartbreak? He's hurting someone either way!

I suppose it's safer to hurt Nan than to let himself actually be hurt.

(I really, really fear that this show is never going to show Phu taking any of the emotional weight of their friendship and just leaving it all on Nan and that I'm going to hate them getting together so much... I mean, considering I already am thrilled Phu is gonna run away because at least that gives Nan another chance to heal if he just actually stays away this time... not a good chance, lol.)

@respectthepetty This show has a way of making me irrationally angry so quickly it's a real talent.

[jumpols-nostrils]

Okay, I actually want to elaborate on my theory why I think Wan will turn out to not have spread Prae's video on the wedding and also why I believe it was Pitch.

And ... I kinda wanna do so before the next episode airs and completely flips my theory. Just so I can come back and ratio myself or something lol

Now for one, I know, when you go through my blog, you will see that I just hate Pitch. And I mean that. I might be talking about the others in not so nice terms, and they do have faults, but I generally like them. Or relate to them. We see their sides of every string of the story, and we understand why they make their decisions. We've seen enough of Wanwan that we also immediately understand why she would exchange the videos. And even with all the bad decisions they make, even when a lot of the times they are a bit annoying, I like them.

That does not go for Pitch. Most of the "why" is personal reasons. But the rest is that his decision-making doesn't fit any motive that we get a chance to try and understand. The fact that we don't see enough of him and his story might tie into why I accuse him, but I want to say that I'll try to not let my hatred get in the way. 😅

First off, from a show perspective, which is a bit ridiculous (but hey, that's actually my second name so who can blame me?) I want to say it would just be an excellent move to have Pitch be the culprit and not Wan - or any of the other girls of the gang for that matter.

Throughout the show, we mostly got to see their perspectives, their stories, their pasts and plenty of their present. Mostly of the gang, of course, but we also have questionable parents. And while at least the parents aren't that far in the front, all of them make it seem like they are possible culprits. Prae's mother, Prae's friends and even Meen, whom Prae might have actually loved most. They all have been put in some form of bad light when looking at Prae's case, one way or another: Meen by probably been framed for the videos. Also for wanting to date Pitch, which Prae was in the way of. This one apparently also goes for May. She was also the one that immediately knew where to look: in Meen's purse. Wanwan is obviously now suspicious because of the thing with Win, but possibly other things too, since we know she had a lot to hide from her friends. Saras kinda falls out of the picture for me. But she doesn't give off culprit vibes, I'll be honest (just wait until the finals, I probably just jinxed her innocence). Even Phu was framed as a possible suspect, but that one got solved really fast.

They are all suspects and when revealed it was any of them, nobody would be surprised. Disappointed, maybe. But we were given hints for every single one of them.

And here is where Pitch comes in. He hasn't been framed as a suspect, at all. He doesn't even have emotional outbursts when the topic of his dead sister comes up. Hell, Meen's face always does this thing when she just thinks about Prae for longer than a second (Thanks at Jan for being absolutely perfect btw) and Pitch is like... Idk. His sister died and a few days later he was shaming Meen for keeping a promise she made with her. One that he himself couldn't even wait to finally break. He doesn't even put much effort into choosing which one of his deceased sister's friends he wants to start dating. Which I would have been ready to accept as a coping mechanism, but with everything else; The way he doesn't even seem to care.

With which I mean this: I mentioned this in another post as well, but the way he always backs out of any talk about Prae or doesn't participate, speaks books to me. He doesn't speak in favor of Meen once. He also never spoke in favor of his sister. He tried to calm his mother, but he did not say that Prae had done nothing wrong, hadn't defended her at all from the verbal abuse of their mother on Prae's wedding day. Who does that? What kinda brother is that? He didn't protect Prae at all, which was understandable if he was surprised, or it was a one time thing. But we now know it wasn't. For that, his efforts to keep the mother away from Prae were quite... Minimal. Why did he let her get even close enough to hit Prae? Weak-ass brother he is. Man, he doesn't even console her. Why did he go after the mother? Why was that more important than staying behind and making sure his sister knew immediately that he didn't think of her as a worthless slut? And we can only assume he never did really console her before, either. He watched as his sister got hit and screamed at and just hid away. The only thing we ever see him do is send Meen to console her. Which is a good thing! Really! But his obsession with Meen is another thing.

It is first apparent in the way he focuses only on her, even at the funeral. It really looked like that was the time he chose to try and reconcile with her. What an opportunist. Obviously, he did date other girls. The first time we see him, he is clinging to a nameless woman we never see again. I assume she was there to help him fulfil his plan and exchange the videos. He would know the flower arrangements, he would have access to the suit the bridesmaids are in. He just needed a girl to play the role.

Then why did he put the blame on Meen? To isolate her. To make sure, her friends would leave her, and she would be alone and desperate. Pitch is probably just like his mother and sister, a narcissist. And probably wants Meen all to himself and her to depend on him. Which would also explain why he is now so angry at her for what the mother revealed. Would a normal person really be angry, years later, when someone made a bad decision as a student? One that helped her out in a very difficult situation that had so far no other solution? Would you blame her for escaping the mother's resentment at that age? The same resentment she is now knowingly walking into, risking having that mother at her neck again. Which is a risk Meen took when she accepted dating Pitch again. Of course, you would still blame her for that - if you're a narcissist and see this as the ultimate betrayal towards your character. Even if he isn't the culprit behind the video swap. It makes him a really unlikable character to me, I suppose I cannot turn that distaste towards him off 😅

As for another motive, apart from Prae cockblocking him and being involved in the death of one of his girlfriends. I assume he also blames her for whatever is wrong with their mother. After all, it was always Prae being scolded and not acting perfect enough to please their mother. This one is the most far-fetched part of my theory. But I can easily picture this scenario in-between the rest.

All of this, I see that, is very far-fetched and not at all valid evidence. But let's just say it is revealed in the end that it was Pitch, wouldn't we all go back, look at these points and go "yeah, okay, that makes sense! Even if it wasn't made obvious."

And yeah, also. I hate him. 🤷

I am sorry for being so ineloquent btw, I'm just really bad at writing thoughts out. However if you still read until this part, I thank you so much for your attention and patience 🙏🏼💗

Just watch the next episode release, and it was simply Wan. And I'm just sitting on this hella long explanation simply because I don't like a character. 😂😂

[soothinglee]

hazy nights

this isn't a ship fan fiction (yet..ah ha ha) I just had this idea that I wanted to use but I might make a series out of this.

Dream x ???

masterlist

also peep the new editing style of my fanfics ;) I might change it up tho.

warning(s)?: none

!not proof read!

Dream opened the cold silver door knob with a huff as he sluggishly limps to his desk. He had been editing for 4 hours straight when he finally decided to go get a brevage from his bumpy white textured fridge at promptly 3 o’clock in the morning. He still had thousands of clips to go through to finish by the next night. George had offered to help him 2 hours before after hearing the grumble and doubt of his voice in one of the many discord calls they had during the time. Dream still denied the help and told George that,

“This was my idea George, it's my responsibility to get this done. Thanks for the offer but i'm okay,” Dream turns the brightness down on his monitor as it becomes too bright for him to handle in the hazy late afternoon night. He breaks off the corner of the sandwich sapnap brought him a couple of minutes ago. He didn't know he was hungry until he saw the white plate in Sapnaps hand as he tried to balance a cold water bottle in the other. He chews slowly trying not to get the sound of bread and ham against his teeth heard into the mic. George laughs,

“Thanks for the ASMer, it's a wonderful sound” George comments jokingly, the creaking of his chair and breathing is picked up by his mic. He coughs lightly and takes a swig of his water bottle.

Dream lets out soft wheeze and shakes his head. One of his dirty brown curls falls into his face that makes his nose tickle. He sniffs lighty and shifts in his chair. “It's called a-s-m-r george, god you are such a millennial. A boomer even.” he sarcastically retorts.

George makes a noise of retaliation. “WHAT! EXCUSE ME I AM NOT A BOOMER! I have a justifiable reason!” George grunts and leans over to turn his fan on. The England heat has finally got to him.

Dreams wheeze grows more intense, he hunches over and puts a hand over his chest to catch his breath. “PHU-PLEASE! I CAN'T BREATHE '' George starts to laugh also as dream wipes a stray tear from his eyes.

George giggles and adjusts the fan off of his dog as she started to shift uncomfortably when the fan first turned on. “ why do you bully me? I’ve done nothing wrong” he whines pulling up his jeans.

“I bully you with love”

George scoffs and rolls his eyes “yeah right, whatever. Anyway, have a good night Dream. Make sure you get some sleep and don’t forget that I can always take over if you can’t work anymore. Sleep and your health is important.”

It’s Dreams turn to roll his eyes “ yeah okay, thanks mom. I will.”

“Dream.You promise?” George holds out a single pinky finger, the shadow of it being illuminated by his computer screen. Sleep is written in his eyes. from what dream could tell from his bed was that George was getting ready to sleep before he called.

Dream rolls his eyes. George has always been like this. everytime he made dream make sure he did something he'd lift his finger and make sure he pinky promises. childish but nonetheless heartwarming.

Dream chuckles lightly and begins to close out of all his apps but makes sure to save where he left off on the video. "yeah" he copies Georges movement and lifts up his pinky "I promise."

taglist:

@kusuinko

@angelicaschuyler-church

[life-rewritten]

Tharn and Type 7 Years: The marriage disagreement

When I think about Tharn and Type, I think about their love, their passion for each other, and their growth to get to the place that they are in, in Tharn and Type 7 years of love. The sequel for the show. Whilst on the surface it may look like Tharn and Type have remained the same; argumentative, non-communicative and everybody's favourite word to use toxic. I think they are so much more different, so much more in love and happy and healthy. One issue though that comes about for their new show is the marriage disagreement. Tharn wants to propose to Type, but Type for some reason keeps on avoiding and rejecting the proposal. It's a weird disagreement to me, but then when I look at the characters and how they have been shaped and view the world, it becomes quite clear no one is right or wrong when it comes to this matter. Let's look at the marriage disagreement from both of our guys' point of view.

THARN: THE PSYCHOLOGICAL, EXTERNAL, AND INTERNAL NEED TO BE LOVED

Let's look at our Tharn. When we first meet him he's you know; sly, sexy, confident in who he is. He's been out for a long time since he was 14 and so he is proud of who he is. And why shouldn't he be, he's rich and spoilt, successful and talented, and he's also sweet, kind, selfless and possessive to those he loves. He's the perfect guy, and Type knows that and Type falls for that. The thing is when you actually look at Tharn and try to bring out his flaws you see the same reasons he's perfect is the exact reasons for why he isn't perfect: he's spoilt; so he always gets his way, and because of this he's manipulative, he's possessive; so he's always jealous and explosive when it comes to whats his being taken away, he's kind but selfless; so he always lets things build under the surface, he avoids conflict not to lose what he cares about so he's a pushover. This is all because of one thing, in particular, that's his biggest flaw, he's terrified of being unlovable. 

Tharn’s Psychological Scars

Let's dive into that deeper because it's interesting. First of all, when we watch Tharn and Type season 1, we only think Type is the person who has suffered psychological and mental damages/trauma that has shaped him into the flawed person he is at the start. It's understandable why Type is the way he is, but we fail to do the same for Tharn. Tharn is also a victim of some psychological/mental hurt. He's always been deserted each time he got to close; he was always secretly manipulated by his best friend who continued to maim him and convince him that there was something wrong with him and he didn't deserve to be loved. This is why his biggest fear/hated word is break up.

Tharn has been turned into someone who is clingy and possessive of the people he loves because for a very long time he didn't understand why everyone he got close to, left and blamed it harshly on him. In fact Long has caused many painful scars to Tharn: he got physically punched and hurt by Tum his best friend for something he didn't do but also the mental strain that had on him when he lost his best friend and being accused as an awful person, he lost all the people he kept falling in love with. And even though he and Type get back together after he realises the truth, it still hunts him that he was the cause of all that happened to the people who dated him for example, Tar. He's terrified at the realisation that everyone who falls in love with him gets hurt, and it makes him think he deserves to be unlovable. 

Thus Tharn is overly protective,  possessive and clingy of his relationship despite the fact that it should seem stable because of it lasting seven years, but no his mind automatically finds loopholes and places for where it could be weakened. He goes into overdrive to ensure that Type is his and won't leave him again. So he obsesses over something that will ensure that nothing will separate him and Type for example something where they have the law and pieces of evidence that they're tied together for life. Marriage.

The origin of his and Type’s relationship

But Type automatically rejects, and this is why he's scared, he's worried about Type not wanting them to be married: 

You have to remember that Type started of this relationship very differently, he was homophobic excessively due to his own scars, and he kept Tharn on a loop for a while before they got together. First of all, for Tharn, he can't help but question if Type is still feeling this way if he still sees their relationship as something unnatural and unacceptable. It scares him because it's something that could cause their relationship to fall apart at any time if Type reverts back to his old self.

Also in episode he over hears Type talking about the future saying that if they break up then it’ll cause an issue, but the thing is Tharn only heard his trigger word break up, Type shouldn’t be thinking that they could break up, could they break up, could he end up changing mind on their promise to each other? It seems like he’s already making prevention plans for when they do, what could cause it and how can he prevent it? These are the thoughts probably running in his head And for him the way to stop that is marriage. 

It's irrational but if you're someone like Tharn who's become obsessive with the protection of his relationship then its understandable that he's finding irrational reasons in his head why Type could leave him. He's overthinking everything, and he hates that.

The jealousy of Phu and Cir

This hate is further exacerbated with jealousy for Phugun and Cir. We've seen Tharn now meet with Phugun and Cir in both episodes, in both episodes we've seen him marvel at Cirs possessiveness and their overly affectionate manner. These two are a device to shadow what's going on in Tharn's mind: they are the antithesis of Tharn and Type, they're softer, and they don't seem like they argue, or fight, they're overly affectionate to each other in public, and Phugun is gentler/sweeter when it comes to showing his love for Cir. I'm not saying Tharn wants someone like Phu as his; he loves Type. Still, he's being forced to see another couple act the way he wants, he wants to be possessive, and call Type his in public the way Cir tells him to back off from Phu, he wants to hold hands and have Type lean his head on his shoulder in public and have Type call him his in front of people. Again because of his mindset, being in public, showing their affection to other people, makes it more evidential that they have something real, having people know that they are dating/married prevents home wreckers/ others from questioning if they are making up their partner and hiding the fact they're single; Both in episode 1, have to hear people question their relationship, the authenticity and genuineness of it because they've hidden who they're seeing for seven years. It's another trigger for Tharn, hearing people question the authenticity makes him also see another loophole/question if Type is really his. That's why he says he wants Type to be only his in episode 2.

TYPE: THE PSYCHOLOGICAL, EXTERNAL, AND INTERNAL NEED TO BE PROTECTED

Let's look at Type. On the other hand, we have our problematic but lovable Type. Type is very adamant about not seeing the importance of marriage. Like I said before, I don't blame him, Type focuses on protection, or should I say prevention for their relationship. He's all about preventing outside sources from bothering them; he's all about ensuring that they keep on being the way they are because it's not an issue to him, he's okay with the people who know, so he's not ashamed of Tharn, he's willing to show their relationship to his parents, so he isn't going to revert back to thinking what they have is not natural.

But for Type he's focused on reputation, people's opinions and loopholes that cause a break down in their relationship (funny same as Tharn). Type's own is more logical and rational. He's focused on how the world perceives gay people. Let's look at Type's mindset first.

His family and society

First, his father is still against him and Tharn being together. That's already proof to him why telling people or involving world isn't useful for their relationship, it just causes bothersome noise and anger, and it becomes an unwarranted issue for them to deal with. Type has spent most of his life being homophobic because of his past trauma, for him he's spent time looking at it from someone who is against their relationship, so he knows what people can do in anger, (ruin Tharns family reputation or hurt him or Tharn ) if angry or irrational.  For Type, society isn't as lenient to LGBTQ as it should be, so he's focused on protecting what he has with Tharn. He saw how his father reacted to them, what if others do the same, what if their environment hate them and life is more challenging for them.

Also because of his past Type has a very negative reaction to people being involved in his life like that. One because after his trauma happened it was all over the news and he was a victim of people invading his space for that very reason. He had all his information, reputation, and self exposed to people who were cruel to him and so yes hates being public because of this as well. 

The nature of his and Tharn’s relationship

Secondly for Type getting married isn't a necessity, not when he knows and is confident that he and Tharn will last. Tharn has other reasons why he can't think like that, but for Type one thing he's sure about is their love for each other, they don't need physical evidence for that, they already are the physical evidence that they're forever. Because Type and Tharn have chosen each other as life partners, they tell each other that every day, they show each other every day, they've demonstrated their relationship to the people that matter to them, and they already live like a married couple for seven years.

As much as I understand Tharn's need for evidence/action to prove that they won't be separated, it is still stupid, because home wreckers will always try to break them even when married, Type still isn't going to be as affectionate in public because he's not that kind of person in public, and nothing will change their dynamic after they're married because they already live together, see each other and spend most of their time together like a married couple.

THARN AND TYPE 7 YEARS OF LOVE

But like I said, I get it. The only issue now that pushes this as a plot is how Tharn reacts to this issue when he's not getting his way. We know he can be sometimes manipulative, (he likes to guilt Type into doing his bidding/ forgiving him when they fight like putting his hand on the pan to get him to feel sorry for him), we know he can be hotheaded and just as explosive since we saw his reaction to being jealous and possessive in season 1 so mix this issue and fear with Fiat (walking in and choosing to fight for Type because they're not married). It means Tharn will make mistakes when he reacts to that.

One thing for certain though is Tharn loves Type, Type is all he cares about and wants, he's willing sometimes to be patient and hold back for Type, he tries to be understanding and communicative in episode 2, but also he still has this issue in his mind, it's going to keep on building and building, and soon it'll cause an explosion. That's why him being a pushover isn't a good thing for this.

The one thing that remains above all this is that Tharn and Type love each other, even despite having different opinions, they can't bear the thought of losing each other, they decided from episode 1 that it was them against the world, together. So no matter what happens, they will keep fighting to be together, they will keep trying to understand each other. Like I said they have matured, their relationship has changed and becomes healthier, (fighting does not mean toxicity, it just means they're realistic), and they have loved each other so far for seven years. They haven't lost that passion and attraction they have for each other. This season its time for Tharn to mature and deal with his own fears, flaws and scars last season we watched Type deal with his as he fell in love with Tharn, so let's see what happens next.

[viriyanon]

i re-watched episode 9 through someone else’s reaction in yt (cus i couldnt stand the pain alone) and i really have to come to this conclusion: phupha was the only one in phapundao who couldn’t let go of tian. regardless of what ep 10 will bring us next friday.

(gosh if only my uni assignments are this interesting....)

on the face value, phupha really looked like he’s ready for tian’s departure, for the end that didn’t side him. he made tian promise to live a better life, he gave his most precious ring, he hurt tian with his words, but then hugged him. contrary to what he (wanted to) believed, he’s actually afraid of letting go of tian.

it’s simple. the first thing that i caught was the repetition of you promise me you’d live a better life. you should live in accord to what your heart wants. something like that. it occurred to me that he’s like trying to convince himself that this was the better decision. this was what you should accept, phupha. you had to go on with this decision, okay? you’re older, you must be wiser. be rational. it’s like, phupha trying to live other people’s expectation about him, given that he’s 30 and a chief, but deep inside, he feared the goodbye. so freaking much he tried to find an assurance by repeating those sentences, keep making tian promise him to live his life to the fullest doing what he wanted. cus if tian didn’t, he’s afraid he would rampage and selfishly pulling tian back to him. he knew what made tian happy. he knew so damn well but sadly, other people didn’t.

second, if phu was so keen on sending tian home and like the next ep trailer said “leave everything here behind and continue your life (or sum?)”, why would he leave the ring to tian? the ring is part of him which is in the past, the ‘here’ you asked him to forget, dude. he would stop at sitting down with tian on the cliff, talked some more, and he’d just leave a promise to remember him every day. there would be no effort to leave a keepsake for him. 

i found this, discordant to what he told tian. leaving the ring to the latter sent me this message that he didn’t really want you to go and forget him. he wanted you to come back some other times and tell him that you’re okay, you’re committed to keeping his heart and will forever keeping it close. or even more, phu wanted tian to return it to him along with himself when he was ready. he wanted tian to remember him that’s why he didn’t ask tian if he’d forget him, like tian did. phu feared he’d be left broken alone and no one to pick up the pieces but him.

these made me realize how vulnerable phupha’s heart was. from trust issues that led him to building up a wall and acting impulsively when feeling betrayed, to avoiding his real feelings and being reticent towards it. all of these just to keep his heart from breaking, disappointed, and hurting. i think the one who also needs to live the life according to his term is not only tian. phupha my respected chief, you too.

[welcometophu]

The Meaning of Home, Chapter 1

The Meaning of Home Chapter 1

Tags for all Welcome to PHU novels will be available at the PHU tag list on Pillowfort. This list is under construction as of Sept. 5, 2021.

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Even knowing that he’ll see him at the end of the trip, it’s strange for Pawel to be driving to his childhood home without Conor in the car. Usually his son would be requesting music changes, playing videos so loud that Pawel could hear them even with Conor’s headphones in place, or generally talking up a storm. Even after cranking the radio up to fill the silence, Pawel feels alone in a way he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

He can’t blame it entirely on Conor. Yes, as a single father he hasn’t had much, if any, time to himself in the last nine years. But this past academic year has been chaos to the point where it seems strange not to have one of his students in the car as they head off to save the world.

Students, yes, but he’s not that much older than most of them. Some of them are friends as well.

Rest. Take the summer and rest.

The voice in his mind sounds suspiciously like Mac, and he hears Carolyn’s soft, aggravated huff not long after as she adds, Get normal amounts of sleep. Take a shower. Eat real food.

Spend time with your kid, imaginary Mac adds.

Great. He’s back to being that only child who used to have conversations with invisible friends, except now, as an adult, it’s advice about self-care from real people who aren’t even here.

The thing is, they’re not wrong. He knows he has a tendency to focus intently on the one most important thing at hand and tune out everything else. Since fall semester—for the first time in nine years—that wasn’t Conor, and he still feels guilty about that. He feels the kind of guilty that means there are two brand new games for Conor’s handheld system in a bag on the back seat, along with a cooler holding freshly butchered grass-fed bison steaks as a thank you for his father for helping him out.

Pawel exhales.

Maybe he’s having a little trouble letting go of the chaos. In a way, it felt good to be busy. To fix things.

They saved the world.

Nobody knows it, but it happened. And Pawel knows, so he should be satisfied with a job well-done.

The question is: what can he do now?

Rest.

For all that they’re imaginary, the voices of his students are right, and he knows this. It’s just hard to let it all go, to accept that the chaos has ended and he can do that. But he’s clean-shaven, and his hair is neatly trimmed, even if he didn’t go back to his buzz cut. He looks older in the mirror than he remembers being when the school year began. He might even look his age, which would go a long way to gaining respect from incoming freshmen in the fall.

He just needs something to do with himself while on vacation over the summer.

Maybe his old dojang would let him step into a taekwondo class or two while he’s visiting Dad. It’d be nice to be the student rather than the instructor for once.

You couldn’t let go of control that much.

“Shut up.” He says it as if imaginary Mac would even listen.

One song ends, and for a second, the silence in the car echoes before the next song begins.

This isn’t working.

He reaches out to touch the button on his radio dash for the phone, then presses Mac’s number from his contact list.

“Aren’t you with your family?” She starts speaking without bothering to greet him.

He adjusts the volume so that her voice isn’t quite so loud. “Hello to you, too. I’m almost there now. It’s quiet in the car. No Conor. Not even any grouchy almost adults grumbling about saving the world, or muttering about sparring.”

Mac snorts softly. “I’m only a few years younger than you, Pawel. And out of us all, Rory’s probably got the oldest soul. I take it you’re bored?”

“A little,” he admits. “Pels’s family moved into the house on Friday, then left for Burlington. As far as I know, everything’s gone well up there; they weren’t back before I left the house today. Anita’s got my number in case she needs anything for the house while they’re renting it out this summer. Traffic’s been decent, so I’m maybe fifteen minutes from my Dad’s house now, and the silence is killing me. How’s your summer break going?”

There’s a delay before Mac replies, and her voice sounds determinedly cheerful when she does. “It’s a break. I’m thinking about my research, and the fact that my advisor is in Italy until the end of June and told me I can’t work without him there. Which means Mom thought I should come home for a while, and right now things are… awkward… with me and Dad. So. There’s that.”

When Mac says it, Dad means Senator Delwin Palmer. Pawel knows what that meant to Mac as a part of a secret government training program for Talented children, before she came to PHU. He knows that everything they learned about the government involvement in the creation of the soul-destroying Shadows has only made her relationship with her stepfather more difficult.

He makes a small noise. “Are you going back to PHU soon?”

“Mid June, so I’ll be here about three weeks. I’m going to take my brother to the festival when Rory and Thorne are in DC in a couple of weeks, and I’m spending most of my time in the museums and libraries in DC until then.” She exhales. “I’ve thought about going to see my father, but I think that’ll be the weekend that I drive back up to PHU. I’ll just stop in to visit him in the city while he’s got some time off work.” Mac hesitates, her words more forceful when she asks, “How long are you planning on staying with your dad?”

Fine, Pawel will accept the change of topic, changing conversational directions at the same time as he takes the exit into town that will lead to his childhood home.

Sort of. It’s not the same house he grew up in, but it’s close to the same neighborhood.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m on leave for the summer. It’s not a sabbatical—they don’t do that for less than a year, and right now they won’t let me go for a whole year until the department has more experienced faculty. But it’s a paid leave and I’m supposedly researching my next book. The thing is, Dad doesn’t have a lot of space since he moved into the retirement community. I’m going to be crashing on his couch. Conor’s got the bed in the guest room.”

“Sounds great for your back.” Mac laughs. “You’ll probably still sleep better than you did for most of the spring.”

“Probably,” Pawel agrees. “I think—” He stops abruptly, because that makes it sound like he has a plan in place. “I’m going to play it by ear. Conor’s made friends there, although he’s clearly missing Alan and home, too. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to just stop trying to fix things and take a break. Including a voice in my head that sounds suspiciously like you.”

“Good to know my voice has infected your brain, like the way I hear yours saying ‘commit to the kick’ whenever I’m sparring and going for that head kick against a much taller opponent,” Mac says dryly.

“They’re all taller than you.” Pawel takes a series of turns, remembering to turn left instead of right at the critical intersection. He slows down; there’s no one else on the road behind him to annoy, and he’s not quite ready to arrive yet.

Mac sputters. “Rude.”

“True.”

“Fine. True,” she agrees. “Taekwondo is a sport for tall people. I’m just a good jumper, and before you say it, no, I’m not teleporting to get there. Most of the time.”

He rolls down the road towards a four-way stop. There’s a sign across the way proclaiming the entrance to Hart Acres. If he turned left, he could make his way to the police station where his dad works, and right would loop him back behind his old neighborhood.

Straight takes him into his dad’s new life in a retirement village where half the people who live there aren’t actually retired. His dad’s been living there for a year, and Pawel’s not sure when he’ll finally step down as Police Chief. He likes his work far too much to give it up.

Dad says it’s easier to keep working when he doesn’t have to worry about the little things like mowing the lawn. Hart Acres takes care of that for him.

Pawel’s pretty sure Dad’s going to work until he has both feet in the grave, and then he might just keep going.

“Hey.” Mac’s voice is low. “Did I lose you?”

Right. He was having a conversation.

“I’m just about there,” Pawel admits. “There’s an old lady walking her fluffy dog down the street. I guess I should hang up. Focus on finding the place and not hitting the two people that are in the middle of the road having a conversation.”

No exaggeration. Now that he’s pulled into Hart Acres and is following the first traffic circle he encounters around to the second exit, there are small knots of people gathered everywhere. Including two smack dab in the middle of one of the side streets.

They see him looking and lift their hands in cheerful synchronized waves.

“I am really not ready to see my dad as the kind of guy who needs to be surrounded by old people looking for a social life,” Pawel mutters. He makes a disgruntled noise when Mac snickers.

He’s in front of the house before he can say anything else.

“Go,” Mac says. “Hug Conor for me, and tell him to work hard. He’s still in school, right?”

“Another three weeks, yeah,” Pawel says. “I might take him out for a day on Friday to head up to Buffalo for Rory and Thorne’s tour, though. It’s a holiday weekend, so maybe the school has the day off—they do weird things with snow days sometimes. Although the weather was strange this winter and they might not have the extra days.”

“Nikki would apologize if you need her to,” Mac says. She’s quiet for a moment. “Hey. You really should take the time to rest. Let your dad be the parent for a little while. Enjoy being home, and with your family. You don’t have anything you need to save right now. The world isn’t ending. Just have fun for the summer.”

“Only if you promise me that you’ll rest, too,” he responds. He wants to say that he understands that it’s not that easy. He understands that talking to Delwin Palmer is going to be complicated, and that putting herself back in that environment only brings the PTSD out in full force. “You can always call me if you need someone to talk to.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m back in the area,” she says. “Maybe we can get together and spar. I’m taking a break from organized classes while I’m home.”

Her old dojang isn’t full of happy memories like Pawel’s is.

“Sure, we can do that.” He catches movement out of the corner of his eye; the door to his father’s unit nudges open. “Conor’s coming out. I need to go.”

“Bye, Pawel. Rest.”

“I will,” he promises.

The music blares for a moment after she hangs up; he turns the key and silences it. He manages to get out of the car as Conor races around it and slams into him, hugging him hard. Pawel wraps his arms around him, and exhales as he feels the familiar crackle of Conor’s magic around him.

“I missed you,” Pawel murmurs. His hand is between Conor’s shoulder-blades, and it feels higher than it used to rest in this same position. “Did you grow in the last two months?”

“An inch since he arrived.” Dad stands on the lawn next to a girl about Conor’s age that Pawel doesn’t recognize. Her mouth is pinched and her brows furrowed. She has her arms crossed tight across her chest as she leans forward, a myriad of braids falling forward across her shoulders and down her back. Dad puts a hand on her shoulder, and she straightens up, shoulders relaxing. “I started a growth door for him here. We’ll need to get a mark on it for you so he can see what he’s aiming for.”

There was a piece of trim in Pawel’s childhood house that had marks for every few months of his age, from toddlerhood to adulthood. He wonders if the new owners painted over the careful notes made in his mother’s hand, and the messier ones his father wrote after she passed away.

“I had Dziadziu put Emma on the door, too.” Conor slips from Pawel’s hold and grabs his hand, dragging him towards Dad and the girl who still watches warily. “This is Emma. She’s in my class, and she’s a Weather Witch, and she’s my friend. We’re both new here. She’s talked to Alan with me.”

“I know they’re married,” Emma says with a heavy sigh and an eyeroll. “Conor’s not my boyfriend. I don’t want a boyfriend.”

“You say that like people have been trying to tell you that you can’t be friends because you’re a boy and a girl.” Pawel stops in front of her and holds out his hand solemnly. “Hello, Emma. I’m Pawel. And don’t worry, I understand that most people are full of shit. Right now my best friend is a girl and I can assure you I have no romantic intentions towards her whatsoever. And if I did, she might kick me in the balls.”

Dad makes a strangled sound.

Emma tilts her head, brow still furrowed. “I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t say that people are full of shit.” She takes his hand and looks at their joined hands in some confusion, then drops it again. “But you’re right. They are. Come on, Conor.”

“I think you’d like Mac,” Conor says as he walks by Emma’s side and they disappear into the house. “She’s small but fierce. She used to be a gymnast and now she kicks ass.”

Pawel should say something, but he did just tell them that people are full of shit, so maybe he can cut him some slack for language this time.

“I did say that someday you’d be lucky enough to have a kid just like you,” Dad observes. “That said, Conor’s been a good kid while he’s been here. Getting good grades, getting his work done. He and Emma bonded straight off—her parents disappeared not long before you did, so they had something in common. Except, of course, you’re back and they’re not. She’s living with a foster family here.”

There are a dozen potential things wrong with everything Dad’s just said. Pawel rolls the thoughts around in his mind as he heads back to his car, opening the doors so that he and Dad can both take several things into the house. “Do they know she’s Talented?” he asks.

“You know where the guest room is.” Dad points through the living room and kitchenette to the small hall beyond. “Right at the end there. Just take Conor’s stuff down. We’ll put your things to the side in the living room for now.”

Conor pops his head out of his room just as Pawel arrives. “What do you mean for now? Aren’t we staying all summer? I thought we’d stay here all summer, Dad. Dziadziu said we could.”

There are times when Pawel wonders what their family looks like from the outside: three generations having three separate conversations in tangled instances, answering questions in random order. He can see where Emma sits on the bed, Conor’s tablet in her hands. She doesn’t seem concerned.

“I’m sleeping on the couch, Conor. We’ll stay in town, but we might need to get a hotel room. I’m going to need a bed eventually,” Pawel points out.

“I’ll move in with Emma. Her dads wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t think they’d even notice,” Emma says dryly. “I like Conor better than Matt.”

“She has four foster siblings,” Conor stage whispers.

Emma looks up, gaze pinning him. “They aren’t my siblings. I’m an only child. We’re all just fosters in the same house, except Nevaeh and Jennie. I think they’re almost as good as adopted. Jennie doesn’t even remember her parents.”

For once, Pawel is the one getting whiplash from the swift turns in conversation.

“Is everyone Talented?” It’s the same question, asked a different way, and this time he throws it out there for anyone to answer. He drops the bag of Conor’s summer clothes on the bed, next to where Emma sits.

“Her dads are both Talented!” Conor bounces up onto the bed, almost knocking the suitcase off. “One’s Clan and one’s—”

“They aren’t my dads,” Emma snaps. She drops Conor’s tablet on the bed and stands up, her body shivering so hard that her braids shake. “My mom and dad are coming back. They aren’t my dads at all. I’m just staying there until—”

“My dad can find them.”

Emma’s mouth is slightly open, her voice a small squeak. “What?”

“My dad is really good at everything about Talented people. He’s an expert.” Conor nods quickly. “He’s so much an expert that he teaches people not to be stupid—uninformed,” he corrects himself, “about what it means to be Talented. He knows everything.”

“Not everything,” Pawel tries to stay, but Conor steamrolls over him.

“He just saved the world, and he’s friends with Clan and with Mages, and we know this entire commune of Mages up in Burlington and if anyone can find your parents, he can,” Conor says firmly. “You’ll do it, Dad, right?”

“I think I’d need a little more information before I can promise that,” Pawel says slowly.

“Your father is supposed to be resting.” Dad stands behind him, and Pawel doesn’t need to turn to know the look Dad gives Conor. He was on the receiving end of that look himself many times as a child. Dad continues, “The last time your father got involved in something, he disappeared and you came here.”

Conor’s mouth snaps shut, lips pressed and his cheeks flushed. “He came back,” he mutters. “He always comes back.”

Emma pats the bed and when Conor sits, she puts her arms around him and holds on. “Maybe mine will come back, just like yours did. Then your dad won’t have to go find them.” Her whisper is too loud to be entirely secret. “I don’t want your dad to disappear again.”

“Me neither,” Conor admits.

“Emma.” 

“Dziadziu!” Conor interrupts him. “Did you ask Emma’s dads—”

“They’re not my dads.”

“—if she can stay over tonight?” The sadness is gone from Conor’s expression as he bounces on the bed. “She’s got stuff in a drawer from the last time she stayed. She can get on the bus with me in the morning, and we can play games with Alan online later.” His gaze skates to Pawel. “If you say it’s okay, of course.”

It’s only been a couple of months, and Conor has somehow built himself a routine here. Pawel isn’t entirely sure how he fits into it.

It’s strange thinking about Conor growing up and growing apart from Pawel when his son is only nine years old.

“I talked to them,” Dad assures them. “But that means sleep tonight. It’s a school night, and I’ll be checking. No magic after dark. No surprise storms. No more rain indoors.”

“That was once!” Conor protests.

“Lights out by half past eight, and I want you asleep by nine,” Dad says in a tone that brooks no argument. “You’ve got plenty of time before then; we haven’t even had dinner yet. You might even be sick of each other by then.”

“Never!” Conor and Emma chorus.

Pawel has to wait for Dad to move before they can both slip out of the room, leaving the door cracked. “I’m glad he’s made friends here,” Pawel says quietly. “He and Alan are—well, I’d almost call them codependent sometimes. I was worried. But they both seem to be doing well.”

“Conor’s fallen on his feet, that’s for sure. He’s a lot like another child I once knew: just starts talking until he finds his spot to fit in. Might even have a bit of a savior complex.”

Pawel gives his father a dark look. “I do not have a savior complex. If I did, I’d have followed you into law enforcement, rather than going into academia.”

Dad smiles. “You’re still saving people. You just go about it in a different way on a daily basis. But it seems to me like you didn’t even hesitate when you found out your students needed your help. You can’t resist a puzzle.”

“Apple didn’t fall far from the tree, I get it,” Pawel mutters. “Fine, fine. We’re all peas in a pod, and a hundred other trite descriptive phrases. The Szczek men have similar traits.”

“Mm.” Dad leads the way outside, so they can retrieve the last few things from Pawel’s car. “Some of us have learned how to ask for help,” he says quietly. “Conor’s made himself at home in Emma’s foster house. He’s spent more than a few nights there, and yes, before you ask, I trust her foster fathers completely. One of them works with me. But that’s something you might want to think about this summer, Pawel.”

Pawel shoulders the backpack with his computer in it, and closes the door to his car. “What’s that, Dad?”

“You don’t have to do everything on your own,” Dad reminds him. “For the summer, you’ve got me. Think about what to do when you get home. The fate of the world doesn’t need to rest on your shoulders alone.”

It seems like everyone’s got something to say about his bad habits. The thing is, Pawel’s got help at home. He’s a single father; he knows he needs assistance sometimes. He’s got Alan’s family next door. Emily’s always willing to help out with Conor. But he’s also got… a lot of responsibility. He’s a professor, and a dean, and he leads Coven and the taekwondo team. 

Who the hell else is he going to rely on? Pawel does the things no one else is available to do.

“Don’t worry, Dad,” he says, because he knows it’s what Dad needs to hear. “I’m not going to overwork myself again. I’ll make sure I’ve got help.”

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[bl-bam-beyond]

Nan (WATTIKORN PERMSUBHIRUN aka KIAK) has followed Phu (KITTIKUN TANSUHAS aka KUN) after Phu once again runs away after a truth came out. Technically he had reason to go check on his elderly granny but still...Namfon (RUTHAIWAN WONGSIRASAWAT) obviously sees the two lifelong besties are dealing with some heavy issues. Yes, she was complicit in keeping Phu's whereabouts a secret.

Nan told Phu he never wanted to see him again but those were words clearly spoken in anger as he sees Phu and all seems right with the world. Even though he has a right to be angry, he simply can't be.

Phu has a nightmare that after revealing his feelings to Nan it's Nan that runs away this time but in disgust. Nan has never seen Phu as more than a friends but if Phu has those feelings they can't be friends anymore Nan says. As Phu cries at the weight of these dreams Nan can't help but comfort him. Anger melts away as Nan sees Phu is distress while sleeping.

THE PROMISE (2023, THAILAND)

Episode 6

More of why Phu feels like he can't be honest with Nan comes in Episode 7 in which Nan and Phu speak of classmates that are dating that were friends first.

Nan says he could never date a friend, because if they break up they can no longer look at one another in the eye. And that precious friendship is lost forever. That's why he's against it.

So Phu continues to hide his feelings, then Phu takes a leap during a drunken night before graduation. He kisses Nan..I mean really kisses him. Like a silent confession but Nan passes out soon after and shows no recognition of the events on the night other than getting drunk with Phu.

Bonus:

A SPOILER OR A DREAM...

YouTube drops a couple of short videos in which Phu and Nan are together (or will get together)

This is after Party confessed to Nan and was politely friend zoned. So is Nan eating his words about dating a friend as far Phu is concerned or is this a dream of Phu's or maybe even a dream of Nan's.

[weekendwritingmarathon]

This weekly roundup includes fics written (at least in part) during the 1k1h sprints and/or the Weekend Writing Marathon events.

Fics are ordered first by fandom, then by word count from smallest to largest.

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Promises from Fathers by Yuliares

DOTA: Dragon’s Blood || gen || Teen & up || Major Character Death || 812 words || Complete

Summary: Invoker and Filomena leave the temple, and return home. There's a little more time for them, together.

Other tags: Angst, grief, sick child, father-daughter, spoilers

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A Taste of Salt by Yuliares

The Irregulars || gen || General || No major warnings apply || 650 words || Complete

Summary: The crew settles into 221B, and Watson gets a tattoo.

Other tags: Found family, domestic fluff, tattoos, 221BBaker Street

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Strangers Who’ve Known Love by Yuliares

The Irregulars || M/F || Teen & up || No major warnings apply || 2,308 words || Complete

Summary: In the face of loss, Leo tries to build something new.

Other tags: Making the best of an arranged marriage

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A Heart On Its Own Feet by treefrogie84

The Old Guard || Joe/Nicky || Teen & up || No major warnings apply || 6,165 words || Complete

Summary: Yusuf is twenty-seven when he learns the last principle of growing up: you can't go home again. He's thirty-three when he meets the love of his life. He's... a lot older than that when he comes home again.

Other tags: You Can't Go Home Again, 5+1 Things, Comfort No Hurt, post 9/11 racism, minimal historical research done, FTH Auction 2021, food as memories, language as memories

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The Emptiness of Burning Cities by treefrogie84

The Old Guard || Joe/Nicky || Mature || Graphic Descriptions of Violence || 6,811 words || Complete

Summary: They’ve been running missions non-stop for over two months, and Andy just keeps pushing for more: more jobs, faster. They’re all exhausted and Joe just wants a break. One more job and then he’s putting his foot down, grabbing Nicky, and running for the hills. He just wasn’t expecting it to go so very bad.

Other tags: Background Relationships, Canon Typical Major Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Exhaustion, Unprocessed Trauma, Mercenary Work, prison labor, bad things happening to kids, Political Prisoners, Depression, Pre-Canon, the cost of violence paid by the soul, stressed team

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Not Your Guardian Angel (chapter 27) by @tryslora​

Original Fiction (Welcome to PHU) || M/F/F (Shane/Pels/Jess) || Teen & up || Author chooses not to give major warnings || 3,245 / 102,546 words || WIP

Summary: Seth’s voice is low, almost gentle. “If you’re hungry, you should eat.”

Other tags: Magic, College, Guardian Angel, Ghosts, Soulmarks

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Not Your Guardian Angel (chapter 28) by @tryslora​

As Above || 2,577 / 105,123 words || WIP

Summary: Pels pushes her hands harder into her pockets. “Let’s do this,” she mutters.

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Letters Addressed to the Fire by treefrogie84

Supernatural, Wayward Sisters || gen || Teen & up || No major warnings apply || 978 words || Complete

Summary: The match flares, sulfur bright, as she drops it into the bowl. The ingredients spark and fizzle as they light, wormwood and saffron going up in smoke and reflecting into the glass sphere suspended above it. Patience takes a deep breath and holds it while she glances over the notepad balanced on her knee. Breathing out steadily, she carefully reads off the summoning and settles back to wait.

Other tags: spell casting, failed summoning

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A Snowstorm of Dreams by treefrogie84

Supernatural, Wayward Sisters || Kaia/Claire || General || No major warnings apply || 1,202 words || Complete

Summary: The burned out ruins aren't a hunt, just a landmark for them to stop at for the night on their way north. Nothing special at all.

Other tags: Road Trips, getting engaged, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Days Off

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Reach the Morning Light by treefrogie84

Supernatural, Wayward Sisters || Kaia/Claire || General || No major warnings apply || 1,585 words || Complete

Summary: Good news! She's out of court-ordered rehab and at least a state away! Bad news! She's in the hospital, there's another hunter on her ass, and her nightmares have broken through and are chasing her down. (Aka: Wayward Sisters from Kaia's pov)

Other tags: Pre-Relationship, Episode: s13e10 Wayward Sisters, POV Kaia Nieves, Lesbian Claire Novak, demisexual kaia

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Sicarius by DomesticatedFeral

Teen Wolf || Stackson || Teen & up || Author chooses not to give major warnings || 16,894 words || Complete

Summary: “No, I began training to become an assassin. I didn’t feel like I had the time to get involved in a relationship, nor did I want anyone getting involved in all-” he gestured to himself- “this.” Jackson raised an eyebrow at his statement. “The assassin thing.”

Other tags: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Assassination Attempt(s), BAMF Stiles, Lawyer Jackson Whittemore, Assassin Stiles Stilinski, POV Multiple, Brawling and Fighting, Internal Conflict, Beacon Hills does exist in this AU, Past Ethan/Jackson Whittemore - mentioned only, Psychological Torture, Angst, Original Character Death(s), Car Accidents, Jackson Whittemore is Bad at Feelings, Mutual Pining, Past Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski - mentioned, Gunshot Wounds, Mild Gore, Blood and Injury, Love Confessions

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Have you posted a fic recently?  Any active WWM participant can Submit your fic here by midnight EST Wednesday and it will be included on next Friday’s WWM Fic Roundup post.

[iguessitsjustme]

And it better fucking actually end this week

[respectthepetty]

I knew it. I knew Phu's bitch-ass was gonna run away AGAIN. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's never REALLY been confronted for running away from his problems, so ofc he was going to run the first time he felt a lil bit of pressure. I kept telling myself this... I kept preparing myself for this... but he still managed to piss me off by doing it. I'm ready for Party to show up and start making some moves on Nan. But knowing Phu, he'll run away when that happens, and make Nan panic ONCE AGAIN. This seems like it's gonna be a vicious cycle. 😩😩😩😩

I want everyone to know that I think The Promise is good. It's visually pleasing, the colors are stable, the acting is good, the story is compelling, and overall, it has great qualities.

But for a show based on the relationship of Phu and Nan, it is doing its damndest to make sure we all HATE Phu!

Anon, unlike you, I truly believed that Phu was going to get what was coming to him. I fully thought that because we were left with the argument as the final scene a month ago, that the second part of the show would deal with Phu fighting his way back into Nan's heart.

But instead we got THIS!

Once again, how are we supposed to like Phu when every five minutes of this episode, he was wilding out?!

The show opened with Phu just chilling looking at the scenery, not even bothered by breaking Nan's trust and heart

He left Nan AGAIN without telling him

Even if he was respecting what Nan said, he saw Nan was texting him AND IGNORED IT

His grandmother didn't need him, but he decided to stay longer and tell no one

He just opened his coffee shop that NAN had to sacrifice his first-born child for in order to get, yet left someone inexperienced in charge who then told NAN that NAN could close up the shop

He is putting Nan's actual career on the line by not being reliable for the advertisements

He answered Dina's call BUT NOT NAN'S

His grandmother defended him even though he had her LIE FOR HIM FOR TEN YEARS

Him telling his grandmother not to leave Nan land, even though a joke, was ridiculous because PHU OWES NAN EVERYTHING

Him calling out for Nan not to ever leave when he is the ONLY one who ever leaves is hypocrisy at its finest

"Are you still angry with me?" <- HAVE YOU TOLD HIM WHY YOU LEFT?!

I don't like that Nan is being treated like he messed up when he emailed and called Phu for TEN YEARS with no reply. I'm upset that Nan got the lecture from his boss about how people need to communicate with the people they are closest with when PHU NEEDED THAT LECTURE. I'm pissed that his friend told him HE needed to sort things out with Phu when that is all he tried to do while Phu has lied to him and ran away from him. Nan went every year to Australia looking for Phu, yet Phu was at the farm a few hours away. Nan went to that farm begging for information only for the grandmother to lie to him.

Even though Phu is terrified that Nan will reject him if he tells Nan he loves him, all the awful shit he has done to Nan, so he can protect himself isn't love. It's selfish! Nan didn't sleep well for over 3,650 days worried about Phu, believing that his friend was dead, only for Phu to return with no reasoning for his absence.

Bas from I Told Sunset About You used to be my "He Deserved Better" Boy, but Party is looking to steal that title solely because Phu sucks so much, yet Nan stays defending Phu and BLAMING HIMSELF.

Party deserves better.

Nan deserves Party.

Phu deserves SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE!

God, I'm so pissed!

[waitmyturtles]

(SPOILERS, for those of you who haven't watched The Promise!)

Alright, more on The Promise, episodes 4 and 5 (my first review of episode 4 is here). Somehow, through some cosmic fluke of the uploads, we were able to get two episodes of this LOVELY show this week (and as @respectthepetty noted yesterday, the second half of the series will start up again on April 19th).

Since there's going to be a lengthy break, let me just say here: where exactly are we in the series? Nan and Phu, two inseparable childhood friends, originally from Chiang Mai, go to college together — and are then separated for 10 years, as Phu presumably moved to Melbourne to be with his mother. The move comes after Phu promises to never leave Nan’s side upon graduation, and in the course of a drunken post-graduation night, we see in one flashback scene that Phu steals a kiss from Nan. What happened in the immediate moments after — we’re not sure. (And there was another accidental bumping of the lip regions, a surprise moment that was captured in a photograph that Phu keeps secretly hidden.)

When Phu comes back to Bangkok after 10 years, both men are in their early 30s, Nan with a successful career in marketing, and Phu with a dream of opening a coffee shop. The first few episodes are concentrated on the rekindling of their friendship, Nan making slick moves to help Phu get his dream space for his coffee shop, and Phu being pulled into Nan’s life, through sweet Oliang (Nan’s cat) and Nan’s work (when Phu is recruited by Nan’s team to be a presenter for fancy men’s skincare).

Episode 3 sets us up for getting to know Nan better through his professional slickness -- even though the first two episodes demonstrated that his personal life had been a mess before Phu showed up again, and we see the indication that it was a mess BECAUSE of Phu's disappearance.

So when Phu comes back, so does Nan's center of balance, and Nan grabs control of a major project at work (the skincare presentation that ultimately brings Phu into the fold), and also nabs the coffee shop location that Phu had previously failed to land.

Episode 4 takes us to a reveal -- Party, Nan's dear work colleague, a homey (as of now) (he may end up being Phu's rival) who spills Nan's secrets to Phu about how Nan has shown up for Phu time and time again over the course of Phu's reappearance. Party lets Phu know -- you disappear for 10 years, then come back, lean on Nan for his help, even if you didn't know it was happening, and you can't show up for your friend, when your friend needs your help with a major work project?

Episode 5 sews that up. Phu shows up and tells Nan's team: I'll be your presenter. Thank you, Phu, for coming to your senses, at least this time.

I think, like some fam on The Promise tag, that I, too, want to see Phu get some sort of suffering, or just like, some rib pokes, for disappearing on Nan and not offering any sort of clear explanation right away. For literally the first four and a half episodes, Nan gets basically nothing from Phu by way of an understanding of what the hell happened.

But.... at the same time, I can see why Phu might be fearful, and confused. Why he might have wanted to run away for so long.

During the Romeo-and-Juliet college flashback, we see that Nan had encouraged Phu to kiss him on stage -- but Nan only clarified after that he meant that Phu should give Nan a "fake kiss."

And Nan not picking up on Phu's gazes during the practice photoshoot of the skincare campaign.

And Nan presumably not picking up on Phu's body language and underlying meaning of the question, "if you know me so well, how do you not know who I like?" (I'm paraphrasing here.)

We know that Nan's solid at work. Nan's a dependable guy. But Nan is also complicated, like Phu. Nan's personal life CAN get messy. He's physically messy, his place is messy. He can be forgetful.

What I loved about the previous episodes and Nan and Phu rediscovering their friendship, is that it seemed to establish equilibrium -- AT LEAST FOR NAN. Nan was able to stand up straight again and be great in the world and at work. To be honest, I'm not sure it did the same for Phu... BECAUSE we know that Phu is STILL incomplete.

While Nan SEEMS to be complete, Phu is still empty, even while being at the side of Nan.

And so. The campaign ends successfully. There's a little confusion about the reemergence of Dina, a college friend of the guys, who holds a crush for Phu, and Nan seems Phu and Dina in Phu's bedroom. The confusion clears up, but maybe the unsettled feeling that Nan seems to indicate lingers. Dina leaves.

The guys get into the conversation about who Phu likes. Phu leans in. Nan's phone rings.

Nan begins walking back to Phu. And sees the text from Phu's mother, in Melbourne, lamenting that Phu hasn't seen her in 10 years.

And Nan realizes... Phu had never been in Melbourne. And immediately starts the inevitable confrontation. (Finally.)

(I just want to say at this moment that I think it's likely that the subs for episode 5 were off. AT LEAST I SURE HOPE SO. I think it was very unfortunate that during the fight scene, that Nan was translated as using a word that was translated into the English word "freak" as both a noun and an adverb. I REALLY want to think that was mistranslated. I'll look to fact-check against the Devonte version of the episode that'll drop next week on YT. But in any case, if Nan called Phu a "freak" for disappearing, then.... okay, but I just think that whole dialogue, as translated with the word "freak," in the context of a QL, was jarring.)

The confrontation scene itself is heartbreaking and gorgeous. The guys acted the hell out of it. Nan finds out that Phu had been with his grandmother, and encouraged the grandmother to cover for him, while Nan searched for Phu in Chiang Mai -- damn. Nan ends the fight by walking away, and saying he never wants to see Phu again.

And Phu calls out to the empty night, saying, "I love you, but I'm not brave enough to tell you."

Cop out? Maybe. Maybe Phu has convinced himself that Nan is REALLY not open to this conversation. What else have we not seen by way of history between the two of them, that convinces Phu that Nan might not see things Phu's way?

We don't know what happened in the immediate aftermath of the post-party kiss in college. That likely had something to do with the post-it on the fish tank, and Phu's sudden disappearance.

I can appreciate that these are details that we don't know yet. Do I feel sorry for Phu? I think so. But I think the writing and the directing are excellent enough for me to feel, if not convinced of Nan's righteousness in this moment, then at least comfortable with it. This is a good place for a break. (Not that we needed a break.) (But this is the right kind of mid-series cliffhanger, and the right time for it.)

I'm just VERY happy with this show, and excited for this twist and change in pace that's coming up in April. Khom Kongkiat (I still want to keep calling him Uncle Tong, dammit) is treating both Phu and Nan with compassion. He's giving them space and time to develop and unwind. That definitely leads to long episode runtimes, but.... I'll always love a slow pace. It's a WHOLLY different vibe than Khom's work in KinnPorsche, and I just like this style so much better. It treats two guys who have lived life a little longer than your average BL character (no twenties/college/high school here) with the space to discover and contemplate their present and past existences, as adults in their thirties often do, as future aging is just on the horizon.

I'm pulling for the dudes. Nan has the upper hand -- let's see what he does with it.