#PERHAPS I SHOULD GO TO BED
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hello! can i request some ruan mei filth with sub reader 🤭🤭
ask and ye shall recieve 🫡🫡 sorry this took a while, i'm personally used to imagining ruan mei as a power bottom, so writing her as a dom took a little longer to cook LOL
good god, let me give you my life || ruan mei x reader [NSFT][MDNI]
cw. vibrators, fingering, praise, mild bondage
notes. sev try not to name fics after take me to church lyrics challenge (impossible) also sorry again anon this turned more introspective than my filth normally gets.....................
On a lonely planet at the edge of the universe, Ruan Mei gazes down on you like a goddess. Your hands are bound above your head, clasped together as if in prayer as pleasure creeps like vines up and down your body. This bed is the altar, you the sacrifice. You wouldn't have it any other way, especially when Ruan Mei ups the intensity of the vibrator between your legs, causing you to arch your back with a breathless gasp.
"Sweet thing," she murmurs, her voice drifting like leaves in the wind, "look at you."
Her finger trails up and along the left side of your body, from the bone of your hip, higher and higher until she reaches the curve of your breast. Her hand lingers there for a moment, warm against your left rib, before she cups your breast, swiping a thumb over your stiff bud. You whine at her touch, trying to chase the sensation, squirming against your bindings.
"Please," you whisper. "Please, please, I need you—"
Ruan Mei coos gently at your begging, her other hand coming to brush the hair out of your eyes. When you look up at her, desperate, with those lovely, teary, pleading eyes, how could she ever deny you?
You cry out her name as her hand slips lower and she pushes the buzzing toy just a little deeper into your slick cunt. It nudges against that spot inside you, and your thighs snap shut around her hand as explosions burst behind your eyelids, a big bang breathed to life by a loving god. Ruan Mei's gentle praises are echoing, distant as you float on that cosmic high.
When you finally come back down, Ruan Mei has shut off the toy and tenderly withdraws it from your sensitive cunt. It comes away with a wet, slick noise and you shiver at the sensation, your leg kicking out reflexively at the overstimulation. Ruan Mei squeezes your thigh in consolation, then lies down next to you, undoing the bindings on your wrists.
"Are you alright?" she asks softly, and you nod, your tongue feeling too heavy to form words. Instead you nuzzle close to her, your arms winding around her waist as your breath begins to even out again.
It’s moments like these, the quiet afterglow, that Ruan Mei wonders why you’re here—with her, at the edge of the universe. It is not an insecurity; no, Ruan Mei does not doubt that you love her. She does not need to test for that. She knows it, innately, intrinsically. But it is a sort of… morbid curiousity, in a sense.
One day, she will leave you—become something beyond comprehension, beyond your reach. Possibly, she’d forget you entirely. There’s always been a countdown on this love, and you know it.
So, why? Why stay, when it would be better, easier, safer, to leave?
It’s your voice that draws her out of her swirling thoughts. Your cup her cheek, affection bleeding through the smile you offer her.
“I can hear you thinking,” you murmur. “What’s on your mind?”
She contemplates deflecting the question. But Ruan Mei is a scientist above all else, and she cannot bear unanswered questions. Uncertainties. So she takes a deep breath, and asks, “why do you stay?”
You consider her for a moment, then tilt your head curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Why do you stay?” Ruan Mei repeats. “You know what I desire to achieve. Once those desires reach fruition… there will be nothing left of us. Of this.”
“Won’t there?” you counter after a beat of silence, seeming almost amused. “All Aeons have their followers.”
“You would walk upon my Path?”
You laugh at that. “Well, I love you. So haven’t I already?”
Ruan Mei falls silent. In the end, what’s the difference between love and faith? How might the reception of devotion differ between a god and a man? Does it? Maybe this is the link between divine and mundane that she’s been searching for. Maybe part of the heavens she’s trying so hard to reach is simply lying next to you, in this bed, in this lab-turned-home at the edge of the universe.
For now, she files these thoughts away, and kisses you again. Her lips taste like plum pastries, sweet and inviting. She kisses you slowly, mapping the shape of your lips, comitting every dip and countour to her memory. She wants to weave you within her, embroider the image of you into the tapestry of her existence so that she won’t forget a single thing.
(A foolish notion. You already are.)
You moan into her mouth and she swallows it greedily, like a fledgling god hungry for faith. Her hand travels down your body again until her fingers find your pussy, still slick with your own cum. You whine as she drags her finger through your soaked folds, her thumb rubbing on your clit.
“A-Ruan,” you breathe out, and Ruan Mei trembles. You say her name like a prayer, like she’s already divine. Distantly she thinks, as she sinks two fingers into your tight, welcoming heat, that it’s the epithet she cherishes most, because it’s the one that names your love. You grip her shoulder and cry out as she works her fingers in and out of your cunt, oozing wetness like ambrosia. Your back arches as she curls her fingers just right against that spongy spot. She kisses your neck as she feels your muscles tense around her fingers.
“Let go for me,” she whispers against your skin like a commandmenf. “Let go, sweet thing.”
You cum with a wordless scream, your nails dragging down her smooth back. She slows the movements of her fingers as she helps you ride out the orgasm, slower and slower until she finally withdraws. Your eyes are shut and your breathing laboured from your second orgasm of the night, but you have never looked more beautiful to Ruan Mei.
“I love you,” she says quietly, pressing her forehead against yours. You offer her a smile like a sacrament, and for a moment she’s terrified that you’d ask her to stay—terrified that she’ll say yes. But you don’t, and instead your return those words to her, pure like revelation.
You will be the only thing she’ll regret leaving behind. But for now, while she has you here in her arms, she’ll cherish you more than anything else.
#sev.writes#[nsft]#ruan mei x reder#ruan mei smut#too many divine themes........... i fear i may have lost it a little#too much plot in this filth#sorry anon 😔😔😔#ruan mei the woman that you are#u r the reason i must take mandatory ethics classes#anyway.#i wrote this instead of sleeping#if it’s ooc then. idk. sorry#perhaps i should go to bed
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420 may be over but that doesnt mean i didnt just green out. right now. help.
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Oh right I have a job
#i have to be at work at 8 tomorrow#perhaps i should go to bed#for the moment#i speak#missy's occupation#the great latte race#i mean technically i'm in bed but like#sleep
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Is dream analysis like real bc I’ve had some dreams that are completely incomprehensible
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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like i'm doing my best, and i was hopeful for new life and obviously that wound up really small (fuck i wanted more martyn & jimmy), and traffic s5 will get, like, a couple of them (gem'll be there or i'll eat my hat), and I'll be good for a bit cause i love it so much... but it's short.
and i'm having a lot of fun watching decked out and really loving all the interactions, but sometimes something will hit and i kinda feel like i'm on in the cold with my face pressed up against the glass, looking in at a world I wish I had.
And I'll keep on trucking, and... I think we'll get a season three? But Jimmy made it clear the other day that if it happens, it's not going to be for a bit. It's just really weird to not have an active home smp, where I'm looking to see what episodes come out every week and speculating about the future. I've watched a lot off hermitcraft and I do enjoy much of it but it will never be home, empires was home.
I'm homesick.
Fuck i miss empires so much. Either and both seasons.
Fuck.
#i'm still working on fic#I'm still talking and thinking about it#but the canon is closed and i'm sad!#it's 4:46am and i'm still recovering from surgery and not at my best#just. miss all them. their faces and voices and the laughter#their voices of laughter all on top of each other#hard to pick out where each begins and ends#punctuated by distinctive sounds like sausage's#it does NOT help that i finally opened up the s2 world download and have been silently exploring an empty world#where characters who felt like friends used to live#PERHAPS I SHOULD GO TO BED#me#empires smp
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🤍 the cure to all my ailments 🤍
#jinki art is BACK on this blog (back back back)#my drawing tablet was happy to come out of its drawer for a change#should I tag this as *not an edit*?#I've been toning down on the hyper-realism lately but I never know if it will confuse folks lol#anyway#I'm overwhelmed with excitement#he looks so goooooood#lee jinki#ThatGoodOldArtTag#onew#shinee#(I wish I'd had time to glaze and nightshade this but it was taking foreveeeer to download the resources and unzip and setup the#whole thing and I really need to go to bed cause these days I'm working like crazy and it's been stressful#so perhaps the next time I'll have more time to setup these softwares and make them work) *sigh*#shinee shenanigans
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swear I'm getting sicker and not better
#I can hear my mother's disembodied voice yelling at me#informing me that it's because I keep going out to run around and won't stay the fuck in bed for two days to kick this#it's also only been like three days#maybe I shouldn't go to the library for eight hours tomorrow#perhaps I should go to hofer for food and then stay in bed instead#many things to consider#muss ich denn sterben um zu leben
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girl desperately trying to make things at least slightly better for everyone forced to face the fact that she is 20 and has to look inwards every once in a while. and realise she is also a person, no matter how rusty she is at being one.
#letters from stephanie*#isn't everyone rusty at this you might ask? perhaps. i do have that bowie need to be something more than human#installed into my brain and i am great at it. doesn't work in every situation imaginable though.#why is the processing of the fact always way more difficult than the fact itself...#i should really consider going to bed now...
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Help I am rewatching Ninjago with my roommate and I have been catapulted directly back into the fandom. mmmrrrghh legos
#perhaps i will draw the silly little pajama people. or who knows perhaps it will inspire me to finally sit down and Write Things!!!#hmm thinking about it. making a ninjago rewrite would probably be fun. but also i should probably wait until i rewatch the seasons i have#watched and catch up on the seasons that i have not seen#ninjago was my first ever fandom and it was inevitable that i would someday fall back into it LMAO. i have been staying up reading fanfics#like i have not really done for a LONG while. and they are giving me!!! so many ideas!!!!!!!!!#i have to learn how to draw people so i can draw these goofy fucks#ANYWAYS#this is borkwolf and it is 7:14 am. i am going to bed now :]#bork borking into the void#ninjago
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idk what this says about me but i lowkey hope whenever you see my blog on your dash you picture g3 pinkie pie herself making these posts
^ this is who runs this blog actually (real) (true)
#i'm eepy i should go to bed probably#the phone guy ask blog representing me with pinkie for the tail chewing ask made me way happier than it should have#may have unlocked something in me perhaps idk i'm not gonna think about it too hard#i just like being represented by pink horse#mlp g3#anaacdotes
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If Dalinar was real I would be doing body shots off his belly button make no mistake. Unless I have the misfortune to come across sober!dalinar. In which case. Sober!Dalinar do you wanna relapse with me I promise it’ll be fun and sexy 😈😈😈
#luke.txt#drunkposting#it’s so funny that if modern day dalinar was on a dating app#I’d swipe left on him because I can’t date anyone who is sober#this is SO SAD and perhaps the most compelling evidence that I should get sober#but I like not going to bed suicidal. so know#whether I’m suicidal at 3 am or not is NO E OF YOUR BUSUNESS OKAY???????⁇ YEAH!!!!!‼︎
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Concept ideas I made on picrew about possible designs for this Splatoon oc of mine idk
I'm too tired to actually draw in my sketchbook rn so this will have to do 😭😭😭😭
Btw, made a blog specifically for that oc, idk lore and stuff, but it's still a wip so yeah
#picrew#oc#splatoon#splatoon oc#idk man#character concept#splatoon 3#lore??? yeah i guess#at some point#maybe#when#i should go to bed#perhaps#lol
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just thinking abt how when i was 13 i had internet friends from instagram (book instagram was very popular for the 13 yr old girl population at the time) who were the same age as me & among other things one of them was like oh i can teach you how to have an eating disorder like 😭😭😭 literally those exact words & i was like yes this is normal :) i tried to employ those tips however i already had an eating disorder so it made it impossible for me to give myself a second eating disorder that would contradict the first one i didn’t realize i had. but basically social contagions among teenage girls are crazy 😭😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#very hard to make urself anorexic when u already have binge eating disorder 😭 VERY incompatible eating disorders….#but like crazy how teenage girls will just be like oh i can teach u how to have an eating disorder for no reason like it’s not like i asked#she just offered it up to us in the chat 😭 and i was like ok i guess i should try that#but obvs i couldn’t do it bc i could not cope w my stress & anxiety w/o eating as per bed 🤪#them + the other 13 yr olds on instagram were also the reason i started c*tting. like girls. what r we doing.#like it never occurred to me to do those things until i saw other girls my age doing it & acting like it was cool so i was like oh i guess#i’m supposed to do it too. although to be real i prob would have started c*tting anyway once i saw it in some media or another anyway#AND i developed an eating disorder all on my own so when u think abt it. i was very on trend just by being me ���️#i only say the second thing bc i was very deeply depressed & not then but over time i did start developing a lot of self harm fantasies etc#but that is MY personal business. but even if so it was damaging to see that stuff at 13#bc perhaps maybe i wouldn’t have & maybe i wouldn’t have had self harm fantasies as an adult & such#ok well i was supposed to go to sleep but i spent 20 mins writing this post for no reason. oops!
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i think it’s so funny when i see people talking about “grrm’s bias towards house blackwood over house bracken” or something bc. like. they’re fictional characters. and he made them. he’s allowed to have favorites
#also they're sick as hell! birds and old gods and black aly and bloodraven and bloody ben!#pie says stuff#apparently i am doing asoiaf posting tonight. perhaps i should go to bed now#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#house blackwood
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Having urges to delete wips... uh oh >︿<
#some of them just... I fear they don't do the character justice#and that *I* can't do the idea justice either#perhaps I should go to bed instead of worrying#looking at my current wip list on my writing blog and going “....”
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