#Or read anything GOmens?? Why brain

[sysig]

New dream OCs drop (Patreon)

[applestorms]

a few additional notes after finishing reading the book: (tbh you could probably just read this reblog if the above essay is too many words. not that this is much better, but, y'know.)

1. i've figured out that the big thing that might make aziraphale & crowley becoming fully human by the end of the series unsatisfying to me is the fact that we don't actually know what happens to humans when they die in the good omens universe (well, we can infer, but we still haven't seen it directly for heaven & have only had a few one-off jokes for hell). since so much effort has been put forth into setting up heaven & hell as these mutually horrible places filled with flawed bureaucracies, the idea that aziraphale & crowley would spend the rest of their human lives in peace on earth and then just die and get stuck in their respective nightmares anyways is incredibly unsatisfying to me. kind of a minor point that will probably get figured out fairly easily, but still significant enough to have been bothering me for a while.

2. i keep forgetting to talk about this, but w/ regards to crowley:

so my main point for section 2 of the above essay is that there are basically two different kinds of ethics/morality/whatever the fuck you wanna call it (my philosophy training is pouting at me for being so imprecise with the terminology here but this is a fucking tumblr post so suck it) in the good omens universe: Good & Evil (capitalized), which are essentially just placeholders that describe which side an action puts you in favor of Heaven or Hell, and good & evil (lowercase), the more complex realm of ethics/morality/whatever that originates from & primarily affects humanity/the lives of humans in some way.

this distinction is quite important to me, especially for aziraphale since i feel like one of aziraphale's key issues that he runs into most significantly at the end of s2e6 is his inability to separate goodness (the human kind) from Goodness (the heaven kind). one of the key things that distinguishes aziraphale & crowley from the rest of heaven & hell in my mind is the fact that they both have a much stronger sense of intuitive goodness (lowercase), which makes sense considering how much more in touch with humanity they've been.

while crowley to me seems slightly more consciously aware of this separation, i still don't think he's totally come to terms with the extent of the separation. my big guess for season 3 is that it's going to have to involve aziraphale & crowley getting in back in touch with humanity again. we can already see hints of this kind of thing at the end of season 2 with maggie & nina very bluntly saying that they can't just play around with their lives like they're meaningless dolls (or, more precisely, meaningful only in the context of this other big game between heaven & hell), and crowley is clearly listening more closely than aziraphale, but they both have a ways to go still imo.

i've said this a billion times by now but crowley is fucked up in a very legitimately traumatized sense. basically all of his reactions in the most tense moments for the last few seasons have been literal fight or flight responses- run away to alpha centauri, fuck heaven & hell, the only people we can trust are each other, aziraphale, etc. etc. etc. while crowley might be more aware of the difference between (human) goodness and (heavenly) Goodness, i still don't think he's been able to accept that he's capable of? allowed to be? an actually good person yet, regardless of the fact that we see him and aziraphale doing good (lowercase) shit in basically equal amounts, maybe even more if we account for the good deeds aziraphale does that may or may not also/instead be categorized as Good (uppercase) deeds (uh more on that later). he has a lot of lines following his good actions in season 2 where he fairly explicitly says "nuh uh no i'm not good i'm an evil wily serpent and even if you did tell people i did this they wouldn't believe you, sucker," which... may be true? or may be a leftover instinct to protect his own ass against the people constantly watching them, i'm kind of in debate with myself about what particular mental gymnastics he's looping his lil snake body through in this case.

regardless, i see a lot of hope for crowley in the ways that he can grow in both 1. his potential closer connection with humanity by the fact that he's choosing to go against both heaven & hell still- his glances at nina & maggie right before he gets in the car are still kinda up for interpretation if they're a goodbye or a promise to come back until we see the next season i guess, but i'd like to think he keeps in closer contact, if only to distinguish him from aziraphale who is definitely going to get fucked up & stuck in heaven somehow, and 2. his freedom from heaven & hell perhaps giving him some room to breathe when it comes to deciding what he wants to do for himself- personally, i think the fact that he was so (relatively) quick to take up maggie & especially nina on their advice once they started pointing out his shit to him is also evidence of the fact that he isn't feeling the constant watchful stare of heaven & hell anymore, which was a Major Factor that cannot go unforgotten as part of the reason why aziraphale & crowley weren't communicating in the first place, imho. at the very least, crowley's role throughout a lot of the story thus far has been leading aziraphale by asking him Questions that mix up his black & white Good vs. Evil instincts, so it would make sense that it might continue. also, thematically having the demon save the angel by granting him more humanity feels very on vibe with the rest of good omens, especially since we saw What Happened when the angel tried to save the demon by making him an angel again.

again though, i don't think that aziraphale is entirely wrong in this case either though. a lot of the fallout of season 2 comes from the fact that crowley kind of basically won the argument from season 1 when it comes to his judgement of heaven & hell. he's not wrong, they are both toxic as hell, but at this point running away just Is Not a happy ending for those two, not like it could be for gabriel & beelz who never had the same connection to earth or humanity in the first place. my guess is that while crowley is going to help aziraphale once again distinguish between goodness and Goodness and get back in touch with humanity again, aziraphale is going to have to help crowley see that running away and leaving heaven & hell, two incredibly powerful, reality-altering entities, in such a horrible state isn't really a great answer either. there's a quote from adam in the original book that really sums up this idea well to me:

"I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people," said Adam severely. "Anyway, if you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. If I was in charge, I'd try makin' people live a lot longer, like ole Methuselah. It'd be a lot more interestin' and they might start thinkin' about the sort of things they're doing to all the enviroment and ecology, because they'll still be around in a hundred years' time."

(pg. 432)

again, this is why i (currently, at least, this could definitely change depending on how the trajectory of the show actually ends up going but it's gonna be Years and i need to get some shit out of my brain in the meantime) want a more concrete view of what shit after death actually looks like for humanity. aziraphale & crowley's main connection, the thing that binds them and separates them out from the rest of Their (respective) Kind(s), is their love of humanity- letting heaven & hell continue to stay in their current shitty state is just unacceptable if it hurts what is so clearly dear to the both of them, and that's where i think aziraphale's argument holds some weight as well.

2.1 good & evil vs. Good & Evil

minor clarification: i know i'm playing pretty fast & loose with the terminology here, but i do want to note that goodness & Goodness as i distinguish them in this context here, with the lowercase g for humanity and capital G for heaven, are not necessarily entirely separate things, and in fact are probably generally quite similar, motivating the confusion between the two that aziraphale seems to currently be struggling with at the end of s2 under my interpretation. i.e. the actions themselves might not actually be all that different, the vast majority of the time.

rather, what i'm trying to distinguish here is less between the actions themselves and more how they come to be declared as g/Good in the the first place.

essentially: an action is deemed Good in the heavenly sense if it is something that benefits heaven/is on the side of heaven, regardless of what the specific action is. spider-man helping an old, bedridden neighbor by buying her groceries for her would be considered a Good (uppercase) action not only because he's helping someone but because Helping Someone, Kindness, and Care for the Elderly are all things connected to the side of heaven- the action gets heaven points instead of hell points, so it's deemed Good. in this case however it may also be considered a good (lowercase) action, because whatever brand of human-based ethics you're using will probably deem taking care of others to be a good thing- the action itself is deemed good here, perhaps because of the effects it has if you wanna use more of a consequentialist pov here.

on the other hand, you get a lot of the moral ambiguity & ethical questions found & analyzed in good omens itself- letting adam kill all of humanity is ultimately considered a Good action if it means that it starts a war that heaven can win, even if it is absolutely not a good action in terms of how it causes all of humanity to die & suffer. this is why i say that Good & Evil in the heaven & hell sense are actually amoral, because they can entirely agree on certain actions (e.g. adam destroying the world) so long as the conclusion supports their side in some way.

actually, speaking of- aziraphale & crowley initially trying to kill adam is actually a really interesting case to me when considering everything in this context cause it shows how aziraphale & crowley are still figuring a lot of shit out when it comes to getting in touch with human lowercase good & evil. ultimately they don't end up killing adam, but that's largely because madame tracy stops them through her inability to help commit such an evil (lowercase) act, again the case of a human ethical sense winning out over the supernatural justification. aziraphale & crowley are still kind of on the same page in that they don't want to completely destroy humanity, but they haven't quite developed the same instincts perhaps, or the same hard boundaries that the humans around them have.

3. some other great quotes that i particularly liked while reading:

*Shadwell hated all Southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North pole. (pg. 218)

"It's like you said the other day," said Adam. "You grow up readin' about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus' when you think the world's all full of amazin' things, they tell you it's really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nuclear waste hangin' about for millions of years. 'Snot worth growin' up for, if you ask my opinion." (pg. 263)

"And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning... Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise up you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out- right?" (Aziraphale, pg. 330)

But, to look on the bright side, all this only went to prove that evil contains the seeds of its own destruction. Right now, across the country, people who would otherwise have been made just that little bit more tense and angry by being summoned from a nice bath, or having their names mispronounced at them, were instead feeling quite untroubled and at peace with the world. As a result of Hastur's action a wave of low-grade goodness started to spread exponentially throughout the population, and millions of people who ultimately would have suffered minor bruises of the soul did not in fact do so. So that was all right. (pg. 365)

Newt did not smoke, because he did not allow nicotine or (until today) alcohol entry to the temple of his body or, more accurately, the small Welsh Methodist tin tabernacle of his body. (pg. 404)

and, of course:

Finally the guard's proving intellect found a word he thought he recognized. "What's this here," he said suspiciously, "about us got to give you faggots?" "Oh, we have to have them," said Newt. "We burn them." "Say what?" "We burn them." The guard's face broadened into a grin. And they'd told him England was soft. "Right on!" he said. (pg. 407-408)

morality in the world of good omens

so i wrote another (admittedly very messy) essay on good omens not long ago right after watching season 2 but after finishing that, rewatching all of both seasons multiple times, and reading through the book, i have a couple more distinct ideas to get out...somewhere...if only for my own sanity. this is me throwing my thoughts into the internet before i pop, if you will. just 3 sections, below the cut.

1. environment, characters, & transformative fandom creations

to start this post off a bit more broadly, i've been thinking a lot recently about transformative fandom and the reasons why we write fanfiction/create semi-original works in the first place, as well as why certain aspects of fandom (writing, art, analysis, etc.) will be more appealing to me for certain shows/series than others. correct me if you have a totally different view of this, but in my experience i've found that i tend to naturally gravitate towards different parts of fandom depending on what the original medium of the story was- podcasts tend to lead to some of the most interesting art trends, for example, since there's more room for interpretation and character design tends to be more of an ongoing community project than something set in stone like for a tv show with live human actors.

in my own observation, i've noticed that a lot of the really big & excitable fandoms, the ones that generate tons & tons of fanworks more naturally (a.k.a. just because of the story itself & not other factors like a pre-existing franchise or hype about new great gay representation, etc.) tend to surround stories that fall into a kind of "sweet spot" that makes the creation of fanworks really appealing. if you've ever wondered why there are so many ravenous artists bending over backwards to draw gorgeous fanart for stuff like homestuck or south park or even minecraft youtubers, it's likely because those stories all fall into a sweet spot for drawing, with character designs that are recognizable at a glance and yet still simple enough that there is plenty of room for personal creative touches. (think also, if you're familiar with such kinds of homestuck terms: hyperflexible mythologies, A4:1524, and/or this archive link cause the official thing is down now for some reason)

the conclusion i've come to is thus that even something as basic as the original medium of a story can dictate a lot about what kinds of fan activities are more common or popular within said story's fandom.

so, back to good omens- for me, this all relates back because of a question i've been messing with in my head recently, about why i've been less interested in fanfiction for good omens than i have been for the last few fandoms i've been, almost all of which have basically broken my ao3 bookmarks.

this question has been fucking with me for a while now, largely because i'm not entirely sure what's motivating it. a lot of times i can figure out pretty easily why i might personally not be interested in some parts of fandom, but that's not really the case here. from what i've seen this fandom seems to be pretty mixed in terms of age, & the writing that i have read is certainly no worse than i've seen elsewhere, perhaps even better in some places- and yet, i can't seem to get entirely into it, even getting frustrated as i can't find something to my tastes for an ao3 bedtime story as i've grown so accustomed. what caught me off guard is that this was an issue that i ran into while watching season 1 as well, back when the series was still quite popular but not blowing up like it is right now.

a lot of this may seem like (and likely is, at least in part) basic overthinking, but i mentioned it all here because the answer i eventually came to is reminiscent of my previous reflections above on the nature of fandom & how/why fanworks are created.

a couple paragraphs above, i used the example of art as an example of how fandoms that generate a lot of original artwork will often do the most when the original story falls into a sweet spot of character design, but notably i think that this sentiment applies to a lot more than just art. if you've ever seen the copious amounts of kpop & hockey rpf fanfiction that lives on ao3, it should be clear that this applies to writing too.

i wrote this essay a while back responding to an observation about the lack of a more extensive symbolic language in fanfiction & i've toyed around with the idea more since, particularly in considering the question of why a lot of what we see as the staples of fanfiction exist in the first place. in that post, my response largely revolved around an argument of why we create fanfiction- namely, that fanfiction is created as in tandem with deeper analysis of the original story/series, as a way of trying to practically apply character analysis to a new context.

the key part of that last sentence to me is how a lot of this revolves around character analysis (and shipping, but really it's the characters that motivate the shipping in most cases so. same difference).

i tend to instinctively separate fanfiction into two separate categories: fanfiction that is based out of the original world/canon of the story (including but not limited to fix-its, deeper analysis fics that take a scene & extrapolate from it, continuations, etc.) and fanfiction that takes the characters from the original story & plops them in an alternate universe/AU. while i separate these out as two distinct categories of fanfiction, i should also clarify that i don't think these two groups are necessarily equal in terms of number of fics- rather, the vast majority of fanfiction tends to be AUs, keeping the original characters & changing any & all aspects of the world around them. again, this may vary depending on the story & Vibe of the fandom at the time, stories like game of thrones or harry potter or homestuck might have a lot more in the canon category by nature of any major dissatisfactions the fandom has with how the original story was told, but in most cases AUs are more popular. this was a lot of the basis behind my argument that fanfiction is created as character analysis in fact, since the characters are the most important part that carries over from original story to fanwork, as well as can end up being one of the most debated/scorned parts when it comes to fandom drift (i.e. "that's out of character"/"he wouldn't do that"/and all other such arguments about fanon vs. canon characterization).

basically, my conclusion in this case was that i was a lot less interested in gomens fic largely because i have a really hard time separating the characters from the world in the case of this particular story. aziraphale & crowley being an angel & a demon and dealing with all of the bullshit of their world when it comes to heaven & hell are such integral parts of their characters in my mind that i have a much harder time getting behind AU fanfiction that plops them in a totally different context. it's just a much harder sell for keeping the characters in character for me. (i also tend to not like s2 fix-its just cause, idk they're just not my style, which is where a lot of the recent blast of energy has led us.) to clarify, this is not a judgement, just a matter of personal preference and a reflection of why, even if a lot of fandoms will look the same from the outside/involve the same things like art, fic, etc., an individual's mileage can vary wildly when it comes to how they interact with different things online.

*additional note, also for clarification: i do want to acknowledge that a lot of this depends on pure popularity as well, popular fandoms will often end up with basically everything in terms of fanworks just by nature of how many people are interacting with & thinking deeply about the story. my point here is more along the lines of the fact that even within the more well-populated fandoms, certain types of fanwork will often Stick Out more to me than others, or even be visibly much more common than in other fandoms, due largely to the original medium/structure of how the story.

so, speaking of aziraphale & crowley in more depth now- why does the world of good omens feel like such an integral part of their personalities when it comes to characterization? up next, let's talk about morality within the context of good omens' perhaps surprisingly secular take on heaven & hell.

2. the amorality of heaven & hell (ft. the crowley quote apples you know the one)

(warning in advance that this section may be a bit limited since i'm not going to get super far (or very far at all, really) into the whole religious-analysis aspect of good omens.)

i've been binge-reading the original pterry & gaiman book for good omens over the last few days and it's been very fun seeing all the slight changes between the tv show & the original. you can really see the hand of the original creators in how the tv show was translated, even just by looking at which parts made it and which parts were deemed worth cutting out. i suppose having one of the original creators right there helping build everything really helps make a book -> show translation work, since the ASOUE tv series was also pretty well received- something about knowing what's the core of the series & truly important to keep in, and having more time to tell the story itself?

anyways, i have a short list of notes that i've been taking as i read, conversations that stand out to me or footnotes that particularly amused me, but i keep coming back to one line that stood out to me quite early on. in context, this line comes from crowley during the conversation where he is first attempting to fully convince aziraphale about stopping armageddon, specifically when they're talking about exerting equal forces on warlock to make him normal:

"You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?" [Aziraphale] said slowly. "Potentially evil. Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped," said Crowley. He shrugged. "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that."

(p. 67)

"They're just names for sides." if i had to pick one line to sum up the view on religious morality of this series, this would likely be it.

on the one hand, i tend to interpret a lot gomens' take on heaven & hell within the context of its political stance, something that is particularly obvious through a line from gabriel in s2e2 where he tries to clarify to aziraphale that heaven isn't trying to hurt job directly, but instead is just not stopping hell from doing horrible things to him. while there may be some additional nuance to add to this take within the context of british politics that i don't really know well enough to add about, i'm inclined to see this from the side of my own familiar american politics, which might hold some weight considering how long mr. gaiman's lived around here. point is, my current interpretation of that line is that it helps in more clearly establishing the analogy of heaven & hell as the story moves forward into newer seasons and thus more contemporary politics, equating heaven with mainstream liberal politics & politicians and hell with conservatives.

this stance seems to be emphasized even more in the tv show than the book which makes sense considering its been coming out more recently, and especially in season 2 which is still quite caught up in a lot of quarantine-based reflection. (the tv show puts a lot more emphasis on heaven & hell in general, actually, perhaps initially a byproduct of actually being able to see those environments in their entirety and all the angels & demons that populate them- but we'll get to that.)

the book takes a slightly different stance that, fittingly, seems more reflective of the time it came out. in particular, i was struck a lot more when reading the book by adam's rise (fall?) to power, and how much of it was motivated by a burgeoning nervousness/pessimism about climate change and the anxieties of younger generations that comes with inheriting an earth that feels so fucked up. honestly if anything it's only gotten more relevant in that respect, what with the current vibe on the internet & the hopelessness of the doomer gen z gang, but it also has a distinctly different flavor to me from the tv show, which i think is largely because it's less connected to Formal politics since again we see a whole lot less of heaven & hell as such distinct, bureaucratic entities.

instead, there is a very distinctly amoral aspect to heaven & hell that we get through lines like the one above and especially from characters like crowley. this is why i argue that good omens, despite having so many religious elements, is such a deeply secular take, especially when it comes to its ethics & morality- Good and Evil, notably with the capital letters in this case, has very little to do with actual actions and much more to do with the name that you stamp on top of said actions. heaven & hell and the angels & demons that we see directing and watching and generally fucking with aziraphale & crowley throughout the story are distinctly separate from humanity, and as we see even more as the story progresses, distinctly unaware about what it even means to be a human, in both a deeper philosophical & very basic and literal sense. Good and Evil is simply another name for the sides- and thus the true ethics is something separate, and based in a deeply human experience.

in my opinion this is also why aziraphale & crowley, lovers of humanity and also to some degree spokespersons of it from how much they've "gone native," tend to be so deeply at odds with both heaven & hell and always end up agreeing with each other over their own supposed sides. what makes aziraphale & crowley so distinctly different is that they ascribe to the same ethics & morality that humanity does, or at the very least are trying to figure out ethics & morality & How to Be a Good Person in the same horribly messy way that humans do, separating them from the black & white "this side Good & this side Bad," logic that the rest of heaven & hell instinctively ascribe to.

there's a lot of nuance here, which is also why i think there is such an emphasis on moral ambiguity (and love, but we'll get to that) throughout season 2. the story of job, grave robbing, & questionable attempts at matchmaking- aziraphale is working through a lot of Shit right now when it comes to trying to figure out what the Good thing actually fucking is, and i think it's key that a lot of that is motivated by crowley himself. crowley might'e been cast out of heaven for asking too many questions, but aziraphale is there & listening to them & giving them the serious thought they deserve, and that can't be overlooked.

sidenote: i couldn't figure out a place to shove this in, but i also wanna point out that a lot of this is tied to the idea of growing over time too. on the same page as the quote transcribed above is another line from crowley leading up to aziraphale's question that puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that warlock is going to be a product of nurture, not nature. again, this is an argument against basic black & white assigned-at-birth morality for the ability of humans to grow & change over time and be influenced by the people around them.

it's notable that despite adam's supposed origin as a Son of Satan, what really gets him to stop the apocalypse in the end is the fact that he doesn't really give a shit about all this big plans but instead just wants to hang around his friends. there's a lot of emphasis in the book placed on how beautiful & nice tadfield is as a place for a young kid to grow up, how well loved & fiercely protected it as as something beloved to adam. while he might be overwhelmed when faced with the full picture of how horrible the world can be, ultimately what he cares about is loving & taking care of the people & places that he grew up learning were precious, and the only way to do that is to keep growing & changing yourself within that world and trying to help it also grow into something better, not throw it all away just for the slightest chance that you could restart. a message worth taking the time to think about, at the absolute very least.

3. finding morality w/in humanity: crowley & aziraphale and speculation for s3

i have complicated feelings about both aziraphale & crowley throughout a lot of the show and especially in season 2. i think a lot of people, myself included, are inclined to see crowley as the voice of reason in this season, and for good reason- as i mentioned before, a lot of aziraphale's deeper questioning of the status quo and goodness (Goodness) as a whole is motivated by questions from crowley.

i kiiind of mentioned this in my previous essay, but to state it more clearly, my take on crowley is that he's arriving at the right answer for the wrong reasons, and, conversely, aziraphale is arriving at the wrong answer for... kind of also the wrong reasons but also slightly for the right reasons. let me explain.

crowley is clearly much more aware of the flaws in both heaven & hell than aziraphale is, which seems to be the basis behind a lot of his motivation in asking aziraphale so many questions in the first place. he's also, as maggie & nina point out in s2e6, deeply lonely, often running away or getting ready to fight literally anyone that isn't aziraphale (or humans, but that's a little more complicated). from his reaction to beelz & gabriel getting together, i think it's pretty clear that he still hasn't entirely given up on the whole alpha centauri idea, and it makes sense- as i said in that last essay, crowley basically won the argument at the end of the previous season when it comes to aziraphale & crowley, "making [their] own side," so he doesn't have much reason to face any of his personal fears until maggie & nina basically point out that they exist directly to his face. once they do point it out, however, he's very motivated to act & does so almost immediately, even after hearing what aziraphale has to tell him and being pretty thoroughly devastated by it.

my point here is that crowley is correct in seeing the toxicity of both heaven & hell, he's just flawed and largely motivated by fear (up for debate if that's all it is, but i certainly think it's a big part of it) in his desire to run away from it all. it's not quite armageddon, again he's going more flight > fight here, but he's still ultimately giving up and that's not a great conclusion.

on the other hand, as some others on this site have pointed out, aziraphale is certainly showing a lot of strength in his willingness to keep fighting & try to change things for the better, but it's not hard to see how that belief has been twisted. one of aziraphale's biggest flaw in motivation at this point imo is that he doesn't just believe in goodness but Goodness, the kind that's tied to heaven always being right & all actions being morally Good so long as they're done under the name of heaven, and that clearly also isn't great.

thus what i think the both of these two really need ultimately is that deeper connection to humanity, and the ethics born from humans interacting with humans. we can already see how strong these two are when they collaborate, even when they're doing their absolute best to be as subtle as possible, but what i think they need is to once again be grounded by humanity, not to get so caught up in the bullshittery of heaven & hell and Good & Evil, but once again find a goodness defined by the world that they mutually love so much and stick with it.

i keep tossing a question around in my head about whether or not aziraphale & crowley are going to end up human by the end of this series. it feels natural that they would, they're already so at home and in love with earth & around humanity, but i'm also not entirely sure if that would be a happy ending for them considering how long they've watched & loved the world as it's changed. perhaps taking this post into account is another push towards humanity as a happy ending, not running away to a cottage to get away from the world (i just can't see running away to a cottage to be together as as happy ending, sorry- it might work for beelz & gabriel but not for aziraphale & crowley), but choosing to settle down within that world that is so dear.

[oriley42]

Hey!!! I promise this is not me stalking you, I found your Tumblr in the most normal way! I just wanted to say that I love all of your House MD fics, I have read every single one of them at least 5 times and I'm in love with how you write them. Both from a character perspective and your actual writing! You have such a fun and unique way with words, I LOVE IT! You single-handledly turned my natural curiousity about the gay men on my medical drama into a full-blown obsession!!!

Okay, so now that we have gotten the fangirling out of the way (love youuuuuu), here is my question! Do you have anything House MD related in the works? 🥺🥺 Also after a very normal and non-creepy scroll through your dash I couldn't help but notice you have watched both Good Omens and OFMD, do you have any plans to write anything in those fandoms? Sorry if this is coming off a bit weird and maybe demanding, I'm honestly just obsessed with your writing but also perfectly happy to keep re-reading all 16 of your House MD fics!

Thank you!!!❤️❤️

Hi!!! Thanks so much for dropping by I looove connecting with folks (esp. fellow House enjoyers!) across platforms 💖

And tysm for the kind words it means so much 🥹

To answer: yes!! Definitely more House works on the way. Currently battling my way through writing another novel length fic (Groundhog Day/time loop AU) and it's fun but also it is killing me why are there so. Many. Words. But it will be done probably in the next... month??? Idk, what is time! And I have a couple shorter fluffier Hilson WIPs I want to attend to as well ❤️

And I am so so deep in the House brain worms I can't write anything else haha, but I do love GOmens and OFMD so especially depending how s2 of the latter turns out, it's always possible it will grab my heart and drag a fic out of me! 👀

[lynswriting]

you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody

aziraphale has a nightmare.

contains: 2191 words, canon divergence/fix-it (s2 ending didn’t happen), hurt/comfort, nightmares.

ao3

a/n: i apologize if anything is ooc, this is my first gomens fic (+ my first finished fic in a hot minute). i hope you enjoy <3

requests are open! check my pinned post for more info!

At 3:13 in the morning on a rainy Saturday night, Aziraphale is asleep in his bed. His limbs are a tangled mess with his partner, Crowley’s. Their duvet is halfway to the floor, and the throw pillows are already there. The ambiance of London’s Soho at this hour is nothing but rain pattering, light wind, and the occasional car. Every door and window of the flat above Aziraphale’s bookshop the couple shares is locked practically and with miracles. They are completely and utterly safe.

Aziraphale doesn’t know this. His body is present, but his brain believes he’s somewhere much worse.

He’s having a nightmare. His very first one, as a matter of fact. 

He began sleeping a few weeks before this dreadful night. At first, sleeping was an excuse for him to lay in bed with Crowley instead of reading through the long nights like he usually did. After some time, though, Aziraphale began to see the appeal of sleep itself. Who wouldn’t want to escape their thoughts for a few hours? It was a break he hadn’t realized he needed, and he’d assumed angels didn’t dream in any capacity, so he foresaw no issues.

He was, regrettably, incorrect. In fact, the nightmares of supernatural beings tend to be significantly worse than humans, which is just lovely for Aziraphale. Truly splendid.

As the angel lays in bed, his arm hooked around Crowley’s side and his pillow crooked under his head, the nightmare begins.

The first thing Aziraphale notices is the cold. It is bitter and harsh against his skin, and his robes scarcely protect him from it. They’re the same ones he donned in his earliest, starry-eyed days. He’s standing on a cliff overlooking the deepest valley he’s ever seen. Darkness shrouds what should be the bottom, leaving him wondering if it is endless. The thought makes his blood run cold. The sky is piercingly white. Aziraphale looks up and immediately winces. The brightness makes his head throb within milliseconds of seeing it. He turns his gaze back down and screws his eyes shut to get rid of the ache.

The worst part of all this is that he is completely alone. As far as Aziraphale can see, there is no one else around. Just the expanse of the cliff, the sky, and the valley below. 

And yet, he has the chilling sensation that he is being watched. It’s a stronger feeling than when Heaven was constantly overseeing him. It’s as if there’s a presence, lurking somewhere he cannot see, but with an aura so threatening he feels it in his bones.

He doesn’t remember how he got here, how long he’s been here, or why he’s still here. He figures the best thing to do is to ask.

“...Hello?” he says into the air. “Is, er, anyone around? I’m a little bit confused about how I got into this, um, situation.” He chuckles, devoid of humor and full of nervousness.

Suddenly, wind begins to howl from the valley. It only deepens the terrible cold. Aziraphale hugs his torso with his shaking arms in a poor attempt to conserve body warmth. The wind continues to blow, pulling icy tears from the angel’s eyes. The sound of the gusts is nearly deafening. Aziraphale is violently shaking, and a scream is about to rip from his throat when, just as suddenly as it came, the wind halts. It doesn’t fade away, just randomly ends. Aziraphale straightens up, much more confused than before.

And then, someone speaks. The wind must have been announcing it- rather dramatic, if you ask Aziraphale.

The voice must be from whoever- or whatever- is watching him. It’s so loud that the ground beneath the angel shakes, but it remains invisible.

“THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT, AZIRAPHALE.”

Aziraphale’s breath hitches. He shakily inhales and replies, soft and meek, “For what?”

The voice begins to cackle. It drips with cruelty and is disgustingly mocking as if that was the silliest question in the world. Aziraphale grimaces. It goes on, and on, until it cuts off with a menacing sigh.

“YOU HAVE FAILED.”

Aziraphale wants to ask how so, but he feels frozen. The shouting continues.

“YOU WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR ONE THING, AND THAT WAS TO BE AN ANGEL. AND YET, YOU CARE FOR HUMANITY MORE THAN HEAVEN. YOU CARE FOR THE ENEMY, A BLASTED DEMON, MORE THAN HEAVEN! DID YOU TRULY THINK CONSORTING WITH A DEMON AND ACTING LIKE YOU BELONG ON EARTH WOULD END UP ALRIGHT FOR YOU?”

Only when the voice pauses does Aziraphale notice the tears pooling in his eyes. He hastily swipes them away, but the pit that has formed in his stomach will not budge.

“AZIRAPHALE. DID YOU?” 

He swallows. Hard.

“...No.”

“THEN WHY HAVE YOU NEVER STOPPED? NEVER EVEN THOUGHT TO STOP, TO RETURN TO THE LIGHT?”

Aziraphale has no reply for that.

His greatest fear is falling. It always has been. The mere thought of it makes him nauseous. But it’s not like this voice is wrong. He does care about the Earth, doesn’t he? And he has no desire to return to Heaven. He’s okay with being the renegade if he gets to live on this beautiful planet with the love of his life by his side, demon or otherwise. But does that, in turn, make him want to fall? Is he demonic?

“YOUR MOST FRUSTRATING BLUNDER,” the voice snaps Aziraphale back to attention, “IS ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONING.”

Aziraphale sharply inhales. 

“YOU ASK WHY THE WORLD IS HOW IT IS. WHY HEAVEN IS HOW IT IS. ARE YOU TRYING TO QUESTION GOD’S WILL? ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IT IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT?

Aziraphale opens his mouth to say no, of course not , but wouldn’t that be lying? He asks a lot of questions these days.

“YOU NEVER LEARN. ANGELS ARE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN. TO FOLLOW ORDERS. AND YOU, YOU TALK AND YOU WONDER AND YOU ACT LIKE A HUMAN.”

Aziraphale tries not to think about how those are some of the greatest joys in his life. 

“DON’T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS TO ANGELS WHO ASK QUESTIONS?”

“I-” Aziraphale begins, about to say no, when he stops, realizes, and suddenly feels incredibly nauseous. 

From the pit beneath the cliff, something begins to scream. Some one . Resounding sobs cut through horrified shrieks, clearly in agonizing pain, and Aziraphale is stunned at how familiar it is until he realizes why.

It’s Crowley. Not pre-fall, or post-fall, but as it is happening. Maybe it’s not how he really sounded, but if not, it’s terrifyingly accurate.

Aziraphale looks up at the sky. He squeezes his eyes shut but does not look down. He needs to have a word with the voice torturing him, and he assumes it’s coming from up there, and that up there is Heaven. Only an angel could cut this deep.

He wants to scream but can only whisper. “Please,” it comes out so soft, so broken, “let me go. I will do better, I swear, I don’t want to fall-”

His mouth is clamped shut. It is not by his own will.

“IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT,” the voice delivers its final blow.

Something is controlling Aziraphale’s body, and it’s not him. His head jerks away from the sky, his eyes are peeled open, and something nudges his back. He stumbles closer to the edge of the cliff.

“Wha-” he breathes out in shock. He’s pushed again. “Why- stop, please. I-” Again. His legs begin to tremble. “Please, I’ll- you can’t-” Again. His toes are off the cliff, hovering above the void below. Again. Something in his gut tells him this won’t just discorporate him. “Please, just, stop this, I-” He’s going to die.

He feels the pressure on his back again. His foot slips, and he’s falling, the fear shoots through his body and everything hurts and he’s falling and the ground isn’t underneath him and he’s falling and he’s falling he’s falling he’s-

He wakes up.

He’s sitting up before he’s even fully conscious. A sound escapes his throat, something between a scream and a sob. The darkness filling the room only makes things worse, but he’s too tired for miracles and too disoriented to reach for his lamp. He stares into the blackness as his head spins.

You’re fine , what’s left of his rationality tries to remind him. That wasn’t real. You’re fine.

He doesn’t feel fine. He’s still horrified . He’s felt fear many times in his life, but he hasn’t been afraid like that in a long, long time. Is that what it would be like? To fall? Was that horrible voice telling the truth? It was in some ways. Maybe it was right. Maybe he deserves to fall, to suffer a torment like what he just dreamed of. Nightmares couldn’t be very holy. Why was he, an angel, having them? It has to be a sign. He deserves for that to be real after all he's done. He deserves to suffer, to hurt, to fall-

“Angel, can you hear me?”

A voice pierces through his spiraling, but this time, it’s not the harsh roar of what haunted his dream. This voice is gentle and familiar, yet so concerned.

Crowley’s awake now, with his hands in Aziraphale’s and his brows downturned with worry. Aziraphale nods. He straightens up a bit, as he’s always hated to be seen in disarray like this. Crowley frowns and rubs his hands with his thumbs.

“You’re shaking, love. What’s going on?” he asks quietly.

Aziraphale clears his throat and draws in a long breath. Crowley waits, ever patient, until he exhales and speaks.

“Just had a bad dream, dear. I’m alright.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Something about Crowley’s tone, the way Aziraphale can almost hear his heart breaking, breaks every wall Aziraphale had put up. The dam behind his eyes is breached by his tears, and Crowley instantly hugs him close, one hand rubbing his back and the other resting in the crook of Aziraphale’s neck. 

Neither knows how long they sit like that. Time doesn’t matter then, as Crowley whispers assurances of it’s okay and you’re safe into the weeping angel’s ear. The cries can’t just be from this nightmare, both are sure of that. When you’re an angel, expected to uphold every difficulty under the sun with no complaint, you let your emotions bottle up. This is Aziraphale’s way of uncorking the bottle Eventually, though, his body runs out of tears, and birds begin to chirp outside. Crowley clears his throat.

“I’m so sorry, angel. If I had known…” he trails off with a sigh.

“Known what?” Aziraphale replies hoarsely. “How could you have stopped that?”

“I…I couldn’t have, I just…hmph.” The demon pauses. He peels away from the angel to look into his eyes and cup his cheek with his hand.

“I didn’t know that you could even get nightmares,” he admits.

“Neither did I.”

“But…I dunno, some demonic energy is probably radiating off me or something. If it weren’t for me here, you wouldn’t…I don’t know.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale whispers, almost bewildered. “Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing you could have done to stop that.”

Crowley accepts defeat to his self-deprecation and weakly nods. He wraps his arms behind Aziraphale’s neck and presses their foreheads together. The touch is warm. It feels like home.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done either,” Crowley reminds the angel, who is just as insecure as him. 

They sit in content silence for a few moments before Aziraphale speaks. He hates to ruin the moment but cannot get one thing off his mind.

“What if that happens again?” Crowley moves back to look at him. “Another nightmare?” Aziraphale nods, and his next words come out faster than he can control them. “I feel so childish, for worrying about bad dreams, but it…it felt like all of my fears combined.” His voice begins to shake. “I don’t want it to happen again.”

Crowley presses a kiss to his forehead. “First of all,” he begins once he pulls back, “it’s not childish at all. You don’t have to explain it to me, but I’m sure it was fuckin’ terrifying. They always are. And second, no matter how many times it happens, I’ll be here. And if they get so bad you don’t want to keep sleeping, I’ll stay up with you. Whatever makes you feel better, my love. Okay?”

Aziraphale thought he ran out of tears, but he is nothing if not a happy cryer, so he sniffles. Crowley laughs and wipes them from his cheeks before pulling him in for a kiss.

Maybe Aziraphale’s fear of falling will linger with him forevermore. Maybe he’ll wake up screaming more often than not. Maybe he’ll never sleep again.

It won’t matter. Not to Crowley. He’ll stay by his side for as long as they live, even if that’s forever. If Aziraphale needs him, even if it’s three in the morning, he’ll be there. Always. And that love, that dedication, will carry them through anything that tries to tear them apart.

It’s funny, an angel and a demon with such an unbreakable bond, but it’s the strongest in the universe. Literally.

They’ll be okay.

[tiktaalic]

I've never watch good omens and never know anything abt the general fandom around it.. only that Misha and the actor in the show who is not David Tennant did a video together???

I wanna know why this announcement of season 2 is eliciting such might I say visceral reactions???

I'm extremely curious!!

so. ok. this is a 30 minute read but very comprehensive and encapsulates my feelings very closely. some context:

i read the book when i was 12, then reread it every yr and called it my favorite book. ihave the matching black and white versions of the book.

i was never super into azcrow? i poked around back in the day for sure but only because that was what you Did if you poked around online for gomens. it's got some trappings for sure but i didn't feel intrigued enough or baited enough to actually care about it or ever really think about it

the book came out in 1990. that is a LOT of time for neil gaiman to be able to go On The Record with his thoughts. not going to dig for receipts but literally for decades up until the MONTH before the show came out. there are literally countless instances of him basically saying #notmycanon but yall have fun in your noncanon space who am i to stop you. i VERY clearly remember a post he made about digging through the good omens tag on tumblr and how weird it was to see explicit azcrow.

in the lead up to show, he made a lot MORE statements because people were like. owo azcrow? and he. AGAIN. explicitly and clearly said #notmycanon #notmyshow but yall have fun with it. it's not what i put in the text tho.

ALSO before the show he made a #diversitywin announcement about how there would be a canon nonbinary character! pollution. now we dont have time to unpack all that,

anyway. timeline shift. the show is out! cool. it treads some old queerbaiting grounds. wall shoves, aziraphale arguing with crowley in public then a guy coming to say "dont worry mate i've had the same fight with my boyfriend you'll work it out" and an angel derogatorily calling crowley az's boyfriend. yknow the greatest hits of bait.

show materials start filtering out. interviews, scripts, etc. michael sheen starts talking about how he played az as in love. scripts, etc, show that the scenes people are touting as HE WAS IN LOVE HERE were sheen choices which is also evidenced by the way he talks about it, and not directions from gaiman.

reaction from general audience is very haha cool show. neil gaiman is like :) thank you for liking my cool show.

reaction from johnlock refugees is very omg squee gay babies. in the interest of fairness this is said by actual gay people

people start @-ing him on twitter about azcrow canon. like a lot of people. articles start coming out about azcrow canon. glowing articles. neil in his little rat brain goes. hm.

SUDDENLY. neil is retweeting azcrow praise. saying it is a love story. written as a love story. always was a love story.

SUDDENLY. azcrow is #allorientations. he retweets articles where people think they are STRICTLY platonic and says yeah that's canon. he retweets stuff about them being asexual and says yeah that's canon. he retweets stuff about them being in love and says yeah that's canon. someone says oh so they're gay? and he goes NO they're angels they're not human they're genderless they cant be gay (this is the man who wrote a doctor who episode where the doctor fell in straight love with the TARDIS machine)

SUDDENLY. azcrow are canon nonbinary. didn't you catch the little reference here and there? i'm glad somebody did, neil says. would like to draw your attention BACK to the fact that when he did his nonbinary announcement back BEFORE the show aired, it was about pollution and only pollution

neil's twitter feed is now entirely retweeted praise of how Meaningful it is that azcrow is canon but Subtle and how it's GREAT rep for queerplatonic arosexual demissjdfjtjljiaw8 u49tp q4wt

i lose my entire motherfucking mind over the fact that everyone is not only allowing but encouraging this scam to happen

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[weyheyjxlya]

Ａｌｉｖｅ

*•.¸♡ pairing: sugawara koushi x reader

*•.¸♡ genre: nsfw || smut (this is my first time writing one, gomen)

*•.¸♡ prompt : Mirror fuck

*•.¸♡ warning: gay!sugawara au, fingering, handjob, praising?, soft dom!suga? (I’m kinda not good with warnings sorry)

*•.¸♡ a/n : so this is my first server collab from the first server where I’ve met various kinds of people who supported and sparked my inner frustrated writer within. so yeah! I hope this won’t be the last one writing nsfw because geesh it fucked my brains out so ya, I didn’t get to upload my chapter 06.2 because I crammed with this. so I hope you enjoy this babies! ilysm!! also listen to the music indicated while reading it, okay? THAANK YOU!!

“My love,  I’m so afraid for things to change My love, Guess i’m too carried away”

“I guess it is not a dream, yeah?” he asked doubtedly while cuddling you “Yeah, it isn’t kou,” you replied as you’re slowly drifting away from exhaustion. Slowly.. slowly.. slowly… “I really hope this isn’t fantasy. If this what I get for being alive? Then I want it. You are life y/n.” he confessed while caressing your face with the back of his hand as he momentarily appreciates your lovely existence.

“Why am I still alive Kou-chaaaannn??!?” you whined as you shook Sugawara’s hands when you grabbed it out of frustration from your cheating boyfriend that just broke up with you. “You know Y/N-chan, there’s like plenty of fishes in the sea!! Why not search for someone right at this moment and time? I cam even suggest one from the volleyball club! Not Daichi though, he’s mine!!” he protested excitedly.

Back from your first-year senior high school days, you’ve met this light-gray-haired guy with an average height and a slender build. But what attracted you the most is that wonderful mole just below his left eye. It’s so beautiful. It brought out the best of his majestic face like some kind of an accessory that matches the one who wears it perfectly. This guy is such a work of art. You’ve felt your heartbeat continue for like a while when he greeted you charismatically. Showing to you that extraordinary smile, you’ve felt captivated. Damn, this man is so fine “Uhm hi!! I’m Sugawara Koushi. How about you?” he asked “Oh yeah, I’m L/N Y/N! N-nice to m-meet you,” you replied “Nice to meet you also Y/N-chan. I’ve noticed that you’ve been looking at me for a while. Uhm, this is kinda embarrassing but I am gay,” “Oh wow, omg thank you for saying that to me. And yeah, no judgment involved but there’s one thing certain right now,” you cooed “Hmm, what is it? You’re acting kinda weird haha” Sugawara replied nervously “Let’s be friends Koushi!” you’ve suggested “That’s kind of quick but yeah, fine!” he acknowledged ~~ From high school until college, both of you are always together. Both of you are frequently called out as a couple at first but will feel embarrassed when they got to know who Sugawa is. Months and years passed, you only just thought Sugawara as your best friend. You’ve tried your best to bore in into your mind but your heart always betrayed you. You still like Sugawara all along and you fell hard for him. Hence, you’ve tried your best to suppress it. So you’ve got yourself into various relationships, that in the end, it just ends in like a flick of a hand. It’s easy, momentarily, pretend, and temporary. You just can’t get Sugawara out of your heart.  It even got to the point where you’re imagining Sugawara as your own partner in life and love –also in bed because everything just felt so empty. You can’t get him out of your heart. Then finally, you’ve met some guy which helped you got into a relationship seriously.

“Am I too ugly? Do I lack anything? Why did I got cheated on Kou-chan?” you sobbed again despite the moisturizer that Sugawara applied on your face to prep you from glamor. You’ve been adoring yourself for a while now and you’re wearing a deep red silk robe that has done its job perfectly. Hugging your beautiful curves,  complimenting your beautiful skin, and made you feel things again that you’ve forgotten for quite a long time. Dreamy as it is but you’ve been wondering. You’ve done everything you can but still, why have you been cheated on? “Y/N-chan, come on. You’re more than that, we both know it. I won’t be sticking with you up until now (even though we barely meet for a while recently since your boyfriend gets jealous because of me) if you don’t have that beaut,” Sugawara comforted with tease while smoothing out your dress for your night out after your boyfriend cheated on you “Gosh, the pain and pleasure that I got every night because of his jealousy over you. I might die the day after,” you protested jokingly while drying off your tears with tissue from the vanity mirror because you’ve wasted quite an amount of expensive moisturizer that had been put on your face because of some tears that fell over for some garbage kind of a guy. Suddenly, Sugawara stopped with what he’s doing when he heard your sudden confession then he walked over you, poker-faced at the edge of the bed to join you to face the mirror. “Come on dear, now close your eyes and let me finish up that art that I’ll create upon this beautiful face of yours,” Sugawara offered with a sudden change of his face, from straight face to a now charming smile as he scooted over you and started reapplying a small amount of that expensive moisturizer again to coat all the spaces that have the moisturizer erased. The application this time is quite relaxing. Suga’s gentle hands have been stroking it ever so gently for a while. Then suddenly, he stopped. As a response to your curiosity, you slowly opened your eyes. Without warning, Sugawara’s lips are planted upon yours. Due to your own shock, you’ve tried to pull yourself from him but he didn’t let it happen. He gently bent your head slightly to the back and then held your face like it’s the most fragile thing that he has ever held on and continued placing kisses in various places. Before you could protest, you’re now drunk from the euphoria that Sugawara gave you. With hearts thumping loud, mind becoming black, and your own body becoming numb and now giving into his kisses, you’ve wanted this for so long and it’s happening now. So without thinking, you drew your arms around his neck and you’ve felt his flirtatious grin drawn in his lips.  He guided your head to the side then he continued kissing until he insistently licked your lips as permission to part your trembling lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, you gave in to him completely. You dropped all your guards down as this is the moment that you’ve been longing for. That sweet,  gentle, and addicting kiss of his made you forget all types of kisses that you’ve experienced before. It was experienced and mature. But then you’ve felt sad and Sugawara felt the sudden emotion because that you’ve become unresponsive to his kiss. “Why sugar?” he asked as he momentarily pulled back from the kiss “You’re really experienced with this and those experiences aren’t with me,” you pouted as tears fell upon your cheeks “Shush sugar. If it’s not for those experiences, I wouldn’t be this great for you, right? This is a new case for me but this sensation that I’m feeling right now cannot compare to anything. You make me feel things Y/N and I love you so much that it hurts,” he replied while wiping your tears with the back of his hands. “Come here sugar,” he sweetly called as he patted his lap and he held out his hands and you took it. Swiftly, as you sat on his lap he immediately pulled you into a tight hug and nuzzled the crook of your head like it’s the last time that he’ll see you. “Finally, you’re here now,” he murmured as he immediately pulled your face and started kissing you. It’s gentle but demanding. The kiss made you feel completely melted as every inch of your body dissolves into his. The fuzzy feeling made you wrap your shoulders around his neck, grip into his hair, and pulled him closer. You’ve never felt like this before. Hungry as it is but you’ve never wanted anyone like this ever. As this moment continues, both of you are now completely peeling off the label “friends” in between you and both of you know it so well. This is the beginning of something. Breaths may stop you for a short moment but it never became a hindrance as both of you are passionately showing how needy you are with each other. As the kiss continued, Sugawara realized how long he had been holding back from this passionate desire to be yours completely.  How perplexed he is at night when he realizes that he fell for such an idiotic straight best friend of his. How jealous he is every time you get into another relationship. How irritated he can sense how much of an asshole since he is a man a swell. How sad he is when you’re not by his side because you’re with someone. He wanted you all along but he suppressed it just to keep you from the awkwardness and from leaving him. Now that the moment’s here, he’s now thanking the heavens as this moment has been taking the man out of him. Now he’s praying that they keep him from where the light is because he might lose himself from this moment. Slowly, Sugawara pushed you backward, without breaking the kiss he laid you flat against the bed. On your peripheral vision, you witness how you’re deliciously making out in the mirror but you don’t care. You don’t care because it has been years since you’ve been longing for this. Even after those stupid relationships, it is still him. Sugawara Koushi is the only thing that you want for. The feeling of his weight upon yours sent signals all throughout your system because the feeling is phenomenal. You get to take in his sweet kind of cinnamon and a little hint of clean linen smell that lingers his body –this kind smell of his has sent you wanting his body more. His hands are now exploring everywhere and it doesn’t matter. He starts planting kisses upon your jaw down to your neck when he starts searching for the sash of your robe. When he got a hold of it he suddenly pulled back and stared at you with his charming puppy eyes and without hesitation, you nodded which left an angelic grin upon his face. He lets go and placed the robe sash on a spot where he can find it then he cupped your face again to passionately kiss it again and the other hand travels with delicious, teasing, and slow speed down from your neck, collar, breasts, and hips as he finally reached the robe sash again that sent shivers down your spine. When he finally released the bow from being tied, he gently helped you get free from the garment. As he finally got you out of it and the robe not within your sight, he sat upright then he deliciously registered your naked body with a burning gaze that consumes you in no time. “I could look at this all throughout my life sugar. You’re extraordinary and I love you so much,” he praised when he lifted his shirt over his head and undoes his pants with his underwear and throws it off from the bed. Having the image of the naked Sugawara in front of you is heavenly that it awakened your inner woman twerking its ass off from the happiness that it’s experiencing right now. He is beyond beautiful. Charming in his own ways. Angelic but it looked like the one who’s gonna cut our wings with and escape. Sugawara really looked like a man that came out of your dreams. Suddenly, your mouth became dry when you saw his growing member that made you gasp for some air. Seeing this reaction seeping out of you Sugawara chuckled and he excitedly hovered over you again. Sugawara strokes your face with the back of his hands and obviously, his touch resonates in the depth of your groin. Bending over, Sugawara slowly kissed your lips and started his slow torture. Starting from your neck down to your breast he started trailing kisses, nuzzling, then sucking hard that left its trails with love bruises. Every kiss made your nipples peak and harden as it starts off the fire of your desire. When Sugawara saw, he put on his devilish grin and has now started sucking your nipple from the left breast while deliciously playing with his hand on the other that left you panting and grabbing his hair because you’re now selfishly wanting for more. “Koushi, please,” you begged “So eager huh, okay sugar,” he responded and suddenly his tongue is suddenly inside your mouth then he started again with his travel starting from your breasts, across your stomach, and down to your navel. He sits up again with eyes brimming with joy as he wondered over the art that he made across your beautiful body. Feeling proud because he’s the creator of it. Out of joy, he bent down again and starts shifting lower until he reached your clitoris. You cried out by this traveling of his then you suddenly felt all of your nerves when his incredible tongue worked its way on your cunt so much that it left you a whining mess. “Calm down sugar,” he mumbled when he deliciously continued his business with your cunt and suddenly he slipped one finger which left you breathless and gasping for air. Then he slipped one more and this leads you to the edge as he started moving it in and out with agonizing slowness. The stimulation you’re experiencing was extravagant due to the mere fact that you’re doing it with the subject of your suppressed love. “Hmmm, this is definitely new for me, sugar and I’m loving it. Most specifically this,” he murmured when he starts stroking your spongy walls then he continues with relentlessly licking and sucking your clit which made your mind get blown by the stimulation and sensation that Sugawara gives you. After a few pumps, you have reached your first mind-blowing orgasms which left your sense go numb and your body go limp. Due to your sudden burst and to your mind-blowing high you instantaneously thought of Sugawara. So all of a sudden you sat up then pushed him back and you grabbed his member and started palming him which then he let out a loud groan and started looking upon you with a hooded and full of desire gaze which left you excitingly and slowly pumping him until he reached his own orgasm that he had been holding back for a while now. “Well that’s kind of embarrassing, I’ve been holding that back for a while now. Oh well, patience sugar. This will soon fill you up,” he replied and winked as he reached for the condom which is in one of the drawers of his vanity mirror. He planted a kiss on your lips first then he laid you again on the bed then started hovering over you again, he slipped on a condom, and then without asking for permission, he’s inside you, slow at first but builds up its pace until it’s hard and fast. Groans, moans, and lewd sounds of your bodies clashing have filled the room which leads you both nearing your own orgasms but to your dismay, on the spur of the moment, Sugawara pulled out of you and flips you over. When you took your time to flip over because your body’s been limp and all, he suddenly pulled you upright so that you’re practically sitting on him. But what made heat haunted your ears and face more, it’s that you’re now facing the mirror that has its lights on. He scooted the both of you a little to the side and now you can brightly see how your cunt sucking in his dick nearly balls deep. “Kou this is kinda embarrassing,” you mewled as you held your face due to your obvious embarrassment. “Then enjoy it sugar,” he replied with amusement. Splendidly, his hands moved up to your breasts, palms it, and tugging gently on your nipples which made your groan for more and tossing your head back against his shoulders. He starts biting downs your neck when he splendidly flexes his hips, filling you up slowly again and again. “You mean the world to me sugar. I’ve realized how empty I am when you’re gone so I never want to let you go now” he breathes against your ear “Yes and neither do I Koushi,” you gasped as he starts slamming to you again to your mewl over his name. This never felt so good he thought. As he was slamming you so hard your moans and cries are now echoing the whole room. “That’s right sugar, let me hear you,” he whispered as he snakes one hand on your waist and another on your hip. Firmly that you know it’ll leave some mark after then he pushes into you harder and harder. With your breaths growing harsher and harsher, ragged, tired, and with gritted teeth both of you found your release together. After catching up some air, both of you collapsed on the bed together and you are now curled up on the bed with his front pressed on your back, his nose on your hair. “What I’m feeling right now frightens me Koushi,” you trembled “Me too Y/N. Everything’s so new to me,” he says quietly “I know, so what if this is just on a whim then you’ll leave me,” you choked as the thought is horrific. “It won’t happen and I won’t go somewhere sugar. I love you so much,” So to confirm the answer you turned your back to gaze at him and he’s now showing a serious and sincere face and it made your heart flutter. You leaned over and kissed him gently and he smiled and reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear which calmed down your heart more. “I’ve never ever felt this amazing sugar and you made it happen. My heart cannot settle itself right now because you’re here in my arms now. I would do everything just to feel this way and to not lose you anymore Y/N. You have my whole heart, I promise.” he promised as you kiss him again and it planted a smile on your lips “So this is not a dream, yeah?” he asked doubtedly while cuddling you “Yeah, it isn’t kou,” you replied as you’re slowly drifting away from exhaustion. Slowly.. slowly.. slowly… “I really hope this isn’t fantasy. If this what I get for being alive? Then I want it. You are life y/n.” he confessed while caressing your face with the back of his hand as he momentarily appreciates your lovely existence. “I promise, even to death. I’ll love you forever Y/N,” he added as he also drifts away to sleep

*•.¸♡ gen. taglist ♡¸.•*  here ya go @maviiiiic​

[writingssummit]

𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥.

a yamaguchi x reader oneshot.

contains: fluff, fluff, and more fluff. yams + reader are pining idiots and tsuki is over it. confession, a word loving reader.

wordcount: 1,482

a/n: i really hope i did yams some good here! and remember, asks are open! just check my yay’s and nay’s! enjoy ~

Words are beautiful things. They were your escape, your hope; and on top of those reasons why you loved them, words were the foundation of communication. They were how you expressed yourself, a feeling, a sight, anything. You took pride in knowing and learning new ones, your vocabulary was growing everyday it seemed.

You were sitting at your desk, tapping your fingers as you skimmed through a book. The one that you were reading was decently thick, thick enough to scare away others, but not thick enough that it would take forever to finish. You were so immersed in it, the plot, the characters. ‘He stood on the top, and plunged-’

“L/N-chan, h-hey!” A chair and a person slid over in front of you, snapping you out of your trance. You were about to complain before you saw that it was your best friend. With butterflies in your stomach, you smiled back at him, taking quick note of the page number as you closed it. 

“Yama-kun. What’s up?” You would always make time to talk with him. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“Ah, not much, really. Tsuki and I were just getting ready to head out.” You must’ve looked confused at that moment, because he rushed to elaborate. “F-For lunch! He’s waiting outside the door for us, if you maybe want to come.” How could you say no to that? You couldn’t, you were weak for the freckled boy. With a squeezing heart, you nodded.

“Yeah, of course. C’mon then, we shouldn’t keep glasses waiting.” You both chuckled at the small jab at their tall blonde friend. Yamaguchi wouldn’t poke fun at Tsukishima, but you for sure would. With your stuff all gathered and ready to go, you slung your bag over one shoulder with your book against your chest, and walked out of the classroom with him. Tsukishima was indeed waiting outside, and he looked down at you both with a slightly annoyed expression. 

“That took a little too long. I was about to leave you here.” You rolled your eyes with a grin. The three of you were walking down the hallway now.

“Tsuki, chill. I was just reading. Besides, you shouldn’t leave your friends behind!” He smirked.

“Reading again? How nerdy of you.” He hummed. 

“It’s hardly nerdy- you’re the one with the best grades out of us three anyways, so who’s really the nerd?” You stuck out your tongue at him, but you knew he wouldn’t give any reaction back. Yamaguchi fiddled with his bag strap. 

“What book is it, by the way? You seemed really into it.” 

“Ahh, I thought you’d never ask!” You showed him the cover, and he looked it over. 

“You sure your small brain can handle a big book like that?” You smacked Tsuki with the book for that one. And Yamaguchi, your beloved friend, had come to your defense. “Tsuki, she can read really quickly, remember when-” 

“Shut up.” 

“Gomen, Tsuki.” 

Darn. So much for defending. But he had at least tried, and that was enough. You smiled softly at the ground. “It’s really good, you know. The use of words in here is amazing, I had to look up a few of them here and there.” You continued to ramble about the words you hadn’t known, what you’ve read so far (you didn’t have to worry about spoilers. Tsukishima wouldn’t bother to read it, and Yamaguchi liked to hear about the plots anyways), while Yamaguchi listened eagerly, and Tsukishima looked bored out of his mind.

You really liked words.

“L/N-chan, do you have a favorite?” You paused for a moment to think it over. 

“I like the word wonderwall.” You had finally been able to settle on it after debating in your head. “Someone you find yourself thinking about all the time. That someone being who you really do like. Like um..infatuation.” He nodded, clueless to what you were trying so desperately to imply.

“I think it’s nice. Do you, Tsuki?” 

“I don’t really care.”

A typical response. You sighed.

Yamaguchi would be lying if he said he didn’t think of you all the time. You consumed his thoughts. You’d known each other for awhile, so he was very familiar with you.He’d be lying if he said he didn;t have a crush on you. The feeling was always there, in the back of his head when you talked.

 He loved to listen to you when you got super passionate about something, the way your eyes would light up were precious. He wished you would look at him with that same look; he knew it wouldn’t be possible, since you both were just friends, right? He didn’t have any chance, and the thought of ruining your friendship loomed over him like a heavy cloud. It made him anxious, it made him worry-

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima’s voice snapped him out of his spiral right away. He jumped a little.

“Um, yes, Tsuki?” He twirled a string around his finger. 

“When are you going to just come out with it? It’s annoying watching you both tip toe around each other.”

He gulped. “I-I don’t know what you mean, Tsuki-” 

“You know full well what I mean.”

Yamaguchi lowered his head, looking down. Something switched. “It’s not like..” He muttered. “I have a chance, y’know?” He was just saying the truth; he honestly thought there was zero possibility for it to work out. He was awkward, and a mess, he worried too much, and there you were- smart, beautiful, amazing. The complete opposite of himself..

“Fine. Whatever. Just don’t get all sulky if you’re too late.” Tsukishima sighed. So, he’d have to succumb to more of the awkward stumbling of two pining idiots for the rest of his life. Wonderful.

But Yamaguchi was at least thinking about it now.

You stopped at your locker the next morning, since you had to grab one of your textbooks. You tilted your head when you saw a slip of paper sticking out of it. “Hm? I wonder what this is.” You opened the paper, only to find writing on the inside. 

‘My word for you today is serendipity. That’s what you were like for me.’ 

The paper wasn’t signed. You glanced around you from all angles, trying to see if you could find out who had stuck it there. But you brought your eyes back to the note. It was charming, and dorky- who could have written it?

Later, when you were with your friends again, you brought it up.

“I found this in my locker today..pretty strange, huh? I don’t even know who wrote it!” You didn’t notice how one of the boys beside you tensed.

“O-Oh, really? That’s strange.” Yamaguchi agreed.

“Stange.” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at the freckled boy. 

“Yeah, I don’t really recognize the writing..but then again, I’m not good at that.” 

“I-I hope you can find out who it is!” You melted at Yamaguchi, hiding a small blush behind your hand.

“I hope so too.”

It had been going on for 6 days now. Everyday was a new word written on a paper, and stuck in your locker. It was like a small game for you now. Figure out the person! You’d read them with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima during lunch hour, trying to figure it out.

The words were amazing to you, though. They were beautiful. 

‘Today’s word is Lucent. Like your smile.’

‘Logophile. Which is what you are, I looked it up.’

‘Every day with you is like Nirvana.’

‘ Eesome.’

They were compliments, little notes that were just for you. You’d never recieved anything like them. You kept asking Yamaguchi his opinion about it all, but he’d always say that he had to go somewhere. Tsukishima, when asked, told you to leave him alone. Which meant that the mystery was up to you to figure out.

But it seems like you wouldn’t have to. Because you had just walked into Yamaguchi himself, slipping a paper into your locker. You blinked, staring at him. When he noticed you, his eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed.

“U-um, L/N-” He laughed awkwardly.

“It was you?” You murmured, looking up at him. Your own face felt warm. 

Is this..a confession? From Yamaguchi? Your best friend who you’ve been in love with since you could remember? 

He nodded quickly. You didn’t know, but he was scared of how you might react. “Th-the last one was this one..wonderwall. The one you s-said during lunch a while ago.” He remembered?

You reached out to grab his hand, waiting for an okay. He reluctantly let you take it, and you gave it a squeeze. “I liked the words.” You whispered. His eyes lit up a little.

“I..I like you.”

Needless to say, Tsukishima was relieved to find out that you both finally told each other. It was about damn time.

[hitsuackerman]

Wallpapers (Shinso x Reader)

a/n: it has been a hot minute since i last drabbled about my purple boy. with that here is some fluff :’) god shinso is like a breath of fresh air from all the heavy fics im making XD

PROMPT: Shinso likes stealing your phone to change your wallpaper into something random. Using that opportunity, you try to tell your feelings via wallpaper.

Warning: Fluff, Mediocre work :3 huhu gomen

Masterlist for all my fics :) here

Crushes.

They can either be a blessing or a curse.

One would consider it a blessing if the person reciprocates the feeling. Or, it can be put into good use. Say, as an inspiration for an exam or motivation to move forward. It can be considered a curse if they are dense, ignorant, or just so happened to be named ‘Hitoshi Shinso’.

Your feelings for Shinso was no doubt a slap to the face. It took a damn while before he finally lowered his walls and saw you as a friend. From the sports festival to the joint training session, it was all kept at bay. The sensation of butterflies fluttering in your tummy when he mentions your last name. The giddiness you feel when he drags the chair beside you and greets you a good morning. Well, basically anything he does just brightens your day.

Once he was finally comfortable, you saw just how much of a tease he was.

There was never a day when you would roll your eyes at his antics. If you would not disrupt the classroom’s peace by yelling his name, 2-A would immediately think something’s wrong or that both of you had a fight.

One habit Shinso developed was taking your phone and changing your wallpaper. The possibilities were endless when it came to options. Sometimes you would catch him taking your phone and his dead panned lilac eyes would scan for the perfect picture to replace the current one. There were great ones but there were questionable ones as well. It was annoying at first but, you got used to it.

In all honesty, you were just using that as an excuse for him to bring his chair closer to your desk. It was the perfect reason to stare at him as he went through his options. You could tell when he’s done his usual task, his mouth would form into smirk and he’d put your phone on the desk face down.

“I already know you changed my wallpaper.” You’d comment. “Why bother putting it face down? And why don’t I get a chance to change yours?”

“To add to the surprise, (L/N).” That’s what he always said. “And, my phone is off limits.”

That little sentence sparked an idea.

You had always been planning on telling Shinso about your harbored feelings. It was supposed to happen on Valentine’s day. However, you realized that it would look scripted and that he’d probably receive a few other chocolates. He was a good looking guy and when people saw how he had transferred to the Hero Course, that was enough for girls and guys to turn their heads with curious sparkling eyes.

Today was the day. You had changed your wallpaper into a gif that wrote out ‘I like you’. That might be enough for him to look at you and finally let you take the weight off your chest. It was taking too long for the bell to ring. When it did, you took your phone from your pocket and set the plan to start.

Placing it on your desk, you stared as the purple haired boy dragged his chair to sit closer to you. His tired eyes were accompanied by a lazy smile. His hand reaching out to grab your phone. Rolling your eyes, you let him be as you grabbed a book from your bag.

Unlocking your phone, his eyebrows jumped when he saw the wallpaper. You were still busy reading but that alone made his heart skip a beat. Blinking to himself, he thought that it was probably a prank and that his own feelings were not reciprocated. Probably.

Brushing the thought aside, he looked up a picture that would sum up his response. Once he was able to choose, he set it as your wallpaper. You were still busy reading your book. Not wanting to disturb you anymore, he stood up and walked towards Deku and his friends.

Not expecting his reaction, you waited till his butt was rested on the desk and his back facing you. Sure that he was engrossed in their topic, you took your phone and unlocked it. Your shoulders slumped when you saw the change of wallpaper.

It was a picture of All Might. With the caption saying 'Who doesn't like me?'.

“Failed attempt?” Denki teased as he sat on your desk.

“Shut it.” You pouted and pocketed your phone. “I thought the message was clear.”

“Or maybe he thought it was a joke? You know how his brain works. Probably thought it was some kind of plot for him to stop bugging you and your phone.”

“Ah shit.” Denki was right. “What can I do then? If random wallpapers won’t work, what will?”

“Do you guys have any pictures together?”

“Yeah. One.”

“Use that.” Your pikachu friend patted your shoulder and left you alone with your thoughts. Just in time for the bell to ring.

While waiting for the teacher, you scrolled down your gallery till you stopped at that one photo you had with Shinso. Hoping that it would work, you set it as your wallpaper and prayed for the best.

It had already been a few days and Shinso still wasn’t able to get that cursed image off his head. It was somehow fair that you would do that to bug him but it still stung nonetheless. Somehow he had developed the fear of taking your phone. He would capture you placing it on your desk, free for him to grab and yet he chose not to.

Today was now friday and the two of you had planned to go to a nearby cat cafe. Shinso walked by your side with your bag in his hand as well. Your mind wondered why he chose not to touch your phone, just when you saw the need for him to. Upon seeing the signage, you were relieved. The tension was a little drowning especially since it had been a silent walk from school.

Now that the cats were nuzzling on you, your eyes landed on Shinso. A black and white cat sleeping on his lap. A miniscule smile rested on his lips. Your heart ached and all you wanted to do was replace the cat. Damn. You were jealous of a cat. The sigh you let out was a little too loud.

His attention was now on you. Maybe he should just tell you his feelings now that you were alone with him. It had always made him wonder. He was always used to starting conversations, but when he realized he had developed feelings for you, he just froze and his mind would malfunction.

“Hey, Shinso…”

“What?”

Taking your phone out, you placed it in front of him. Not sure what you meant, he took the device and began to fidget with it.

“You, uh, you haven’t been changing my wallpaper these days.” Your cheeks burned at the thought of him finally seeing your wallpaper.

"Realized I was invading your personal space." He replied. Eyes lowering while his free hand caressed the napping. His heart beat ramming in his chest. Might as well say it now. If the Dekusquad told him he was blind of your affection then perhaps they were right.

"I miss you changing my wallpapers…" That was probably enough to let him unlock your phone.

Judging that it wasn't the best time to go all mushy, he nodded his head and scooted closer to you. Careful to not disturb the sleeping cat. When he was beside you, only mere inches apart, he unlocked the device. His breath hitched when he saw the picture.

“Is this a joke?” He now turned to face you. Shinso just couldn’t take it if you had wanted him to change the picture you two had together. “Look, if you wanted me to stop changing it you could just tell me rather than do this.”

Staring blindly into space, you internalized how blind he was.

“Hitoshi.” Your voice was a little sterner now. Yet, it was music to his ears. This would have to be the first time you called him by his first name. Looking down at the cats cuddling with you, a small pout formed on your mouth. “Do you not understand the messages I’m sending you? The gif from a few days ago? How my wallpaper is the only picture I have of us?”

“Shit.” Chuckling at his stupidity, he facepalmed himself. “I guess I let overthinking win this time.”

Stretching his arm, he gently brushed your cheek with his index knuckle. The reddish blush on your face gave him the needed confident boost. When his eyes met yours, he took his phone from his pocket and handed it to you.

“Change my wallpaper.”

A small smile began to form on the face. If this was what you think it was then it was all worth it. Frowning at the sight of his wallpaper, you threw the phone at his chest. Being met with a Beadpool wallpaper that said ‘Ligma’ was not what you expected.

But, the laughter that he gave you made you think otherwise. Seeing how his arms began to snake around you into a hug, you leaned on to the crook of his neck. His embrace was warm and comfortable, everything you had imagined it would be. His hand found its way to the back of your head. Feeling him softly petting you caused the butterflies to rampage.

“But seriously though? Ligma?”

“Could not waste an opportunity, (Y/N).” Gently pushing you away, just enough for him to look at you, he gave your cheek a quick kiss. The purple orbs you adored gleamed with excitement and playfulness at the reciprocation of his feelings. “But, feel free to check my gallery if you want.”

Handing you his phone back, you opened the gallery and giggled. Despite all the memes and cat photos, a few stolen pictures of you were scattered across the app. Sneaky bastard. No wonder he preferred not to let you hold his phone.

“Want to commemorate this day and take our second picture together?” He offered. Pulling you back to lean on him.

“Wouldn’t want it any other way~”

[lady-divine-writes]

“Excuses, Excuses” (Rated PG13)

Summary:

When Crowley takes Aziraphale figure skating, the angel thinks Crowley has an ulterior motive. And he does, but it's not the one Aziraphale thinks. (1688 words)

Notes: I was inspired by one of @wildenights prompts for the Gomens Holiday Swap to write this one-shot for them. Sorry that it's a little late.It’s fluff and romance and a first kiss. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Read on AO3.

“Darling?”

“Hmm?” Crowley mutters, barely glancing up from his task.

“Have I offended you?”

“No more than usual, angel.”

“Ha … ha …” Aziraphale frowns at Crowley’s kidding. At least, Aziraphale thinks he’s kidding. But now is hardly the time for it - not when Crowley is putting their lives (such as they can be deemed) in peril. “Have I done something to upset you in any way?”

“Not in the past few hours.”

Aziraphale swallows, his voice softening, fragile to the point of cracking. “Do you love me?”

Crowley’s face snaps up. He glares at Aziraphale, lips twisted. “Of course I do!”

“Then …” Aziraphale eyes the black leather boots with shiny (and lethal looking) silver blades attached that Crowley has finished tying to his feet “… why do you wish to see me discorporated?”

Crowley hauls himself off the floor and sits on the bench beside him, tying his own pair of skates. “Don’t be daft! I don’t want to see you discorporated!”

“Maimed then?”

Crowley huffs and rolls his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, angel! We’re going ice skating!”

“But why go ice skating when there’s a lovely restaurant right over there where we can get coffee and scones?”

“We just had coffee and scones. At that restaurant!”

“I know. That’s how I know it’s lovely.”

“This is what humans do during the holidays. You appreciate cute human rituals,” Crowley points out with a sneer, indicating that he does not appreciate them nearly as much. “I thought you might enjoy yourself.”

“I also enjoy going about with my appendages unbroken.”

“Don’t worry …” Crowley ties a knot in his final lace and rises, rather skillfully, to his feet, making Aziraphale wonder if balancing on blades is a common talent amongst demons, or only for Crowley, which leads to him comically envisioning a frozen pond or lake covered in skating demons, spinning and jumping and performing feats of athletic grace while they spit fire and curse unsuspecting humans to eternity in Hell “… I’ll hold on tight to you so you won’t fall. But if you do manage to break something, I’ll miracle it back together. All right?”

Aziraphale hums in disapproval. He isn’t looking forward to any activity that might require he be reassembled by a demon. But Aziraphale has seen Crowley miracle dents out of his Bentley numerous times. Crowley can definitely do it.

“Yes, all right,” Aziraphale relents, reluctant to relinquish the belief that he must have done something heinous if Crowley chooses to torture him this way. Crowley is more of a wily demon than a malicious one, ergo he’d probably want to see Aziraphale fall on his arse, look like a fool, not get injured.

Crowley takes Aziraphale’s arm and leads him to the ice with such care, it confuses him. Perhaps Crowley plans on taking him to the center of the ice and stranding him there. He’d come back to the benches, miracle himself up a brandy, then sit and watch Aziraphale struggle to follow. And while Aziraphale racks his brain for a possible reason why, he overlooks the fact that they’ve started circling the rink arm in arm, slowly and smoothly. Aziraphale stares down at his legs, basically paralyzed, then to Crowley doing all of the work keeping Aziraphale upright and guiding him along. He gets so caught up watching their skates glide across the ice, trying to find a balanced spot, he doesn’t notice he’s doubled over, his nose nearly at the level of his navel.

“No need to stare at the ice, angel,” Crowley says. “It’s not going anywhere.”

“Oh. Right.” Aziraphale straightens, inch by inch becoming more comfortable in his current circumstances until he appears from the outside like he’s doing something close to skating.

“There …” Crowley smiles at Aziraphale’s flushed cheeks and cherry nose “… how’s that? Nice, huh?”

“I … I suppose,” Aziraphale admits. “I’d still rather be sitting somewhere safe. And warm.”

“Next time I’ll bring you a sled instead of skates so I can pull you around like a dog. How would that suit you?”

“If you’re offering …” Aziraphale’s left leg cramps from straining to remain immobile while his right gets ambitious and decides to push. He hits his toe pick and trips, flying forward so fast, stars swirl before his eyes. He tenses, assuming a crash eminent, but Crowley swoops in and braces him before he loses his feet. Aziraphale stares up at the demon holding him awkwardly in his arms. “Um … thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Crowley says, putting Aziraphale back on his blades. Without another word, they continue along. Aziraphale takes a deep breath in through his nose and holds it, wary of doing anything more strenuous that may throw him off balance. But with Crowley’s arm latched securely around him, he starts to relax, lets himself experience fully everything going on around him - the wind biting his cheeks and his nose, threading through his hair like fingers; the sound their blades make as they scrape along the ice; holiday music playing through an outdoor speaker from a shop close by; the savory smells coming from that restaurant Aziraphale is still carrying a torch for. Most of all, he’s enjoying Crowley’s arm around him, his strength keeping Aziraphale vertical, his warmth seeping through Aziraphale’s clothes to his skin.

Aziraphale feels giddy in Crowley’s arms. Brave somewhat. He raises a leg and balances on one skate. Crowley sees him and smiles, holding him steadier when that leg starts to wobble.

“See?” he says. “You’re gettin’ the hang of it.”

“Yes, well, this shouldn’t be too hard when you consider I can fly.” Aziraphale lets go of Crowley’s arm for a second and gives spinning a try, returning to the safety of Crowley’s embrace after his first shaky attempt.

“Very nice, angel. Very nice. Maybe you can compete in the next Olympics.”

“Been there, done that. You seem to be steadier on your feet than I am. I imagine you’ve done this before?”

Crowley shrugs. “Once or twice.”

“Why don’t you show me what you can do then?” Aziraphale asks, joyfully breathless and completely exhilarated. Why had he not attempted this before? How did he not realize how much fun this could be?

Well, the answer to that is quite simple.

Because a handsome demon had never offered to take him before. Now that he has, he must find an excuse for Crowley to bring him skating whenever they are able.

“Not this time. This time around my only job is to ensure your safety.”

“That’s awfully chivalrous of you.” Aziraphale releases Crowley’s hand to try his spin again. He performs it, but this time, the edge of his blade catches. His feet fly out from under him. He’s sure he’s going to land on his back this time, but out of nowhere, Crowley has his arms around him, holding him against his body for safe keeping.

And even after Aziraphale steadies himself, Crowley doesn’t let go.

“Are you all right, dear?” Aziraphale asks when this embrace has gone on a hair too long to be considered helping anymore. Crowley doesn’t say yes or no. He makes a noise in the affirmative and clings on tighter. Aziraphale does the same, holding Crowley around the torso and resting his cheek against his shoulder. He smiles when he feels them start to sway, as if they could be dancing, even though neither of them has moved an inch. They haven’t gone dancing before either. They’ve barely held hands. Maybe that was the next thing on Crowley’s agenda. This single embrace is the most physical contact they’ve shared in 6000 years of knowing one another.

And that gets Aziraphale thinking.

“Is this … is this why you wanted to go skating with me?”

“Mmm … maybe.”

Aziraphale pulls back to look at Crowley’s face, past the lenses of his dark glasses and into his beautiful amber eyes . “Dearest, if you wanted a hug, you could have just asked.”

“Ngk … yeah … I know. I guess I was just afraid you’d say no.”

“Why would I possibly say no? It is just a hug after all. Friends hug, and  I dare say, we’re more than friends.”

“True but …”

“And … you said you love me. Correct?”

“I do. But I … I got the feeling that … for you … hugging might be a big milestone and all … seeing as we’ve known each other 6000 years and we’ve never once … uh … I didn’t want to overstep … you know … because then we may never … well, we may never …”

Aziraphale gazes fondly at his ridiculous demon and sighs. He’s in no position to do anything grand. He’s still not quite steady on his feet. And regardless of his size, he feels a too strong breeze might push him over. So he rises up carefully on his toes, presses his lips to Crowley’s, and silences his bumbling demon with a kiss.

Crowley stops, stunned, mouth slightly open, lips cold but wet from constantly nervously running his tongue over them. But seconds later, he pulls Aziraphale back into his embrace, holding him with arms so secure and sure, they may as well be made of steel. It’s a simple kiss, but it nearly knocks the wind out of Crowley - a feat considering, as a demon, he doesn’t need to breathe.

“What … what was that for?” he asks when Aziraphale tentatively backs away.

“Didn’t you like it?” Aziraphale asks, the cold putting a twinkle in his eyes but that kiss making his face flush to the roots of his snowy blond hair.

“Yes, I liked it! But that’s not the issue! It took me how long to hug you!? Wouldn’t kissing be considered a much larger step?”

“Of course!” Aziraphale chuckles. “That’s why I figured, if I got it out of the way, it might help you not be nervous about hugging me anymore!”

Crowley grins. Then he laughs out loud, relaxing into the body he’s holding against his own. “I see your point.”

[petri808]

Red Strings Cannot Be Broken

@yatoriweek2020​ Soulmates prompt. Gomen, gomen, it’s totally rushed and I since I suck at action scenes, fair warning it’s minimized as much as possible lol and I can’t help but think angst when I write this ship ;-; Aged up, Hiyori is 19. Total idk canon divergence.

Just as Yato, Bishamon and their Shinki’s reach the scene, Father cackles and drives a katana through Hiyori’s corporeal body. “You’re all such gullible idiots! She was always your weakness son. Three years we’ve done this dance and I was always one step ahead.”

The young woman stumbles backwards and collapses, holding onto her stomach. A reddish stain forming, seeping through the fabric and growing in diameter every second that passes by.

“So now what are ya gonna do?” the grinning sorcerer questions. “For betraying me, I will take away everything you love!”

“You sonofabitch!” The stray god screams and makes a move to rush forward.

“There’s no hope for her, see.” The man points the sword back at the dying girl with a menacing smiles. “Poor girl, if only she hadn’t met you.”

“Yato,” Bishamon yells as she takes off towards Father. “You get to Hiyori!”

A battle ensues between the goddess of war and the sorcerer as Yato rushes to the young girls side. He picks her up, cradling her body in tears. “Hiyori, don’t die on me, please!” But it really was too late, for her breathing had ceased and he could find no pulse. “Fuck!!!”

“Yato what are we gonna do?!” Yukine shakes him. “W-We can’t let her just die!” The poor boy was still in agony over his time of betraying the stray god and now the guilt of losing Hiyori was slowly taking hold. Nora stays quiet, hugging to the boy to keep him from doing anything rash.  

“There’s only one thing I can think of…” the man mumbles. As the fight around them escalates, the pair watch a puffkine appear above the body.

Reading off his master, Yukine’s eyes widen. “I-Is that a good idea?!”

“I don’t know.” Her soul didn’t appear as an ayakashi, so that was a promising sign. Yato places her body back on the ground and stands before the floating spirit. There was no way to know for sure what would happen and no time to think it through. Performing his spell, he turns her into a regalia, but instead of giving her his family name of ne, keeps the human name Hiyori and makes her vessel name Majoki.

They watch as the woman they knew as Hiyori manifests, standing before them. “W-Where am I?” She questions the trio. “Who are you?”

Yato grabs hold of her by the arms to keep her from turning around and seeing her body too soon. He smiles. “I know this must be confusing right now, but I just want to tell you before it’s too late…” he leans his forehead against hers and closes his eyes. “I love you Hiyori. Soon I pray, it’ll all make sense again, but just remember I love you.” He whispers something the others two couldn’t hear, then pulls away and kisses her hand before releasing them.

He then turns to his Shinki. “Nora, make her see,” is all he quietly says, indicating to the girl to break the seal of the Gods greatest secret.

“But Yato, that might destroy her.”

“I pray it won’t. Please keep her safe for me Nora.” He places a final kiss on Hiyori’s confused cheek. “Come Sekki, we must finish Father right here and now before he does any more damage.”

Yukine transforms into a sword and the pair rush off to assist Bishamon. The boy asks Yato what he’d told Hiyori before they’d left and the God simply answered with, ‘remember me.’ But there was no time to question further. They needed to focus for Father was as skilled as any of them and a powerful sorcerer that could conjure and control ayakashi to attack them. This would be a fight to the death, either theirs or his.

Nora pulls Hiyori away behind some trees, and away from the current fighting. She hesitates for a moment unsure of exactly how to accomplish her task. As Chiki, she could wield the liberation spell that broke the secret, but without it, she would have to trigger it. The strange part was, normally telling a Shinki their true name would do just that, but Yato had given the woman back her real name and it didn’t do anything. Hiyori just appeared to have no memories of her past life.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” Nora questions, but receives a ‘no’. “How about Yato, the one who just spoke to you?” Again, the woman pauses, then shakes her head slowly no. “Yukine? The boy?” Nothing.

“That man… that man said he loves me. He sounds sincere, but I don’t remember anything. Were we in a relationship?”

“Sort of. You’ve been together for I think 3 years now. Inseparable, and you loved him too.”

“I did?”

Nora nods her head. “You… you died trying to save him.”

Hiyori’s eyes widen at those words. She was dead?! “I’m dead?!” Her hands fly up to her head, palms flattened against the sides as a suddenly whirling sound rustles in her brain. The noise grew, a myriad of voices, images hurtling through her mind so quickly, she couldn’t process what was happening to her. “No, no, no!”

The young girl grabs hold of the woman’s arms to keep her steady as she starts to shake uncontrollably. “Your name really is Hiyori. Hiyori Iki. You saved the god Yato once from getting hit by a bus and it turned you into a hanyou. After that you two became inseparable. You were with him when you found Yukine.”

“I don’t understand any of this!” Tears pour down the woman’s face. She was utterly confused at what this girl was telling her and yet somehow knew it was all true. How did she know it was true?!

It was a good sign to Nora that Hiyori wasn’t transforming into an ayakashi yet, but as the woman’s mind fought to unlock the secrets of her life, the pain appeared to be excruciating and the risks of being consumed were great. When she herself had learned the truth about her life, for some strange reason it never affected her and that was why she could wield liberation. Yukine too surprisingly had come through the process without completely breaking down.

“Over time, you and Yato grew closer and closer, and you helped him a lot. I believe it’s because of you that he’s completely changed for the better. You and Yukine are his family. Father, the guy they’re fighting now, he’s trying to destroy it all and he killed you because he knew your death could kill Yato too. But the only way to bring you back in a way, was to turn you into a regalia. That gives a lost spirit purpose again.”

Hiyori wanted to scream and run away. This was madness. A god, spirits, bringing back people from the dead?!! She could hear the battle raging just out of her sightline. And this girl. “Who are you then?”

“I’m Nora, one of Yato’s regalia like you. He calls me his little sister. We used to work for Father in the old days but we’ve both been betrayed by him. Yato realized it sooner than I did, but that man was only using us to wage his war with the Gods of Heaven.”

Great now Gods of Heaven as in plural. Hiyori’s head was spinning, and she felt like throwing up. “I love you Hiyori. Soon I pray, it’ll all make sense again.” Is what the man had said and even though her brain was not comprehending everything going on, her heart was telling her to remember it all... To remember... Hiyori gasps, “Remember me…”

A sharp pain shoots through her head, so she cradles it in her hands from the sudden spike. ‘Remember me…’ Hiyori cries out once and her vision goes black.

Hiyori Iki, 19 years old. Born to Sayuri and Takamasa Iki, brother of Masaomi, and born on June 28th. Everything about her life flashes as images in her minds eye. How she’d met Yato at the age of 16 through a near-death experience. Becoming a hanyou, The Far Side, the Gods, everything was rushing back in the blink of an eye.

As quickly as it began, it ended, and a final memory paused like on a movie screen. It was an image of Kofuku holding up the matching making tablets… ‘I— remember…’ Her feelings for Yato had started long before the god of poverty had interceded, but perhaps, that goddesses intervention truly sealed their bond eternally in a red string of fate? ‘That’s right…’ she’s starting to put the connections together. Learning who she really was should have driven her insane. It hurt, but…

Hiyori’s eyes open and finds herself lying on the ground with Nora kneeling beside her.

“Oh, thank the Kami’s you’re back,” the girl breathed out a sigh of relief. “I didn’t know what was going on, you just suddenly collapsed again.”

“Thank you, Nora,” she sits ups slowly. “I-I remember who am.”

A strange, invigorating energy was thrumming inside of Hiyori and she wondered if this is what the weapon aspect of a Shinki felt like. But Yukine had never mentioned feeling an odd sensation, and even weirder, she didn’t sense a regular weapon in her soul. The name Yato had given her was not of a normal tool but matched her abilities even while she was still alive.

She turns to Nora, “I need to help Yato. We need to help Yato.”

“There’s nothing we can do unless he calls for us,” the young girl replies. “And he probably wouldn’t want you anywhere near the fighting.”

Hiyori lifts up her hands and focuses on them, reaching deep within her very essence and feeling the energy burning inside of her. Nora watches in fascination and downright amazed surprise when they begin to glow. She’d become the perfect weapon to defeat a sorcerer.

“I don’t care what Yato thinks,” the woman steels her resolve. “He needs my help.”

With Nora following close behind, Hiyori rushes over to where the Gods were fighting. They see others had joined in the battle. Kofuku & Daikoku. Tenjin, Ebisu, and several others that Father had not yet brought to their knees. Amaterasu and Heaven’s army had already suffered devastating losses prior to this event, and this fight with his son, was Father’s last obstacle. The two girls stand at the top of a hill surveying the battle, and when Yato senses them he turns to look.  

That lapse in focus also catches Father’s attention. He breaks away from one attack and rushes towards Yato.

“Call my name now!!” Hiyori screams to the stray God.

He hadn’t planned on letting Hiyori anywhere near this fight, but overwhelming energy flooding off his Shinki was something he’d never heard of or felt in his life. Without another second of hesitation, he screams, “Majoki!!”

The flash of light from the vessels transformation was not only blinding but sent out a wave of energy that sent Father flying backwards from the shockwave. Even the other Gods stopped what they were doing in confusion. No new weapon manifested in Yato’s hand, only a red tasseled cord wrapped loosely around his neck.

Whatever miko abilities Hiyori had in life were now amplified ten-fold as a Shinki. Her connection to Yato and their love for one another transcended death because of their tied fate and as his regalia turned her into his strongest weapon against this kind of foe. How do you fight a sorcerer? With sorcery.

“Whoa what the hell powers does she have now?!” Yato hears Yukine asking him in his mind. “Even I can feel her!”

“Y-Yeah, even I’m surprised,” the God answers back. It all felt a little strange because it was so different than any other Shinki he’s ever had. Hiyori’s powers didn��t flow from a tool… Yato became the tool.

“Bind his powers Yato. He is nothing without his magic.”

“But how?! That’s a Shinki’s ability not a Gods.”

“You shall wield us,” she responds in his mind with no hesitation. “All you need to do is strike Father once and I will send the power through Sekki. Once he’s wounded my magic will seep through to affect the spell. Then you all attack for he will be a mere human.”

“We can do this Yato,” Yukine responds as well. “As a team.”

“No,” the God breathes out with a smirk, “as a family. Hiki!!!” He pulls his third vessel into the fray.

“Yato what are you thinking, three of us will sap a lot of your energy,” Nora scolds the God.

“Well then we better make this quick!”

“Guys!” He screams at the other Gods. “Let’s back him into a corner fast! I got a plan!”

After being thrown back, Father scrambled to his feet ready to take on the next challenger. With Yato’s call of collaboration, God after God along with their Shinki’s levy a multitude of attacks at the sorcerer forcing him into a defensive. There’s just too many things coming at him to counter. He tries to call ayakashi’s to his aid, but they are either killed off quickly or Hiyori and Nora combine their energies to control the spirits.

Finally, the constant barrage is taking a huge toll on the sorcerer and everyone can sense it. The male is using a significant amount of energy to fight back, and it’s rapidly depleting. A solid blow from Bishamon sends him hurtling into the trunk of a tree. He hits his back hard against it and falls straight down. Then, before he can get to his feet, Yato sweeps in with two solid strikes by Chiki and Sekki, cutting a deep gash over the sorcerers torso.

Father screams in searing pain as he feels the burn of Hiyori’s magic soak into his flesh. “No! No! No! this cannot be!!” It travels outward from the wound until it encompasses his entire body, binding his magic, and sapping any ability beyond a physical confrontation. He sinks to the ground, clutching to his chest and abdomen, in agony. “That bitch!”

“Oi,” Yato narrows his eyes and puts the blade of Sekki to the man’s throat, “don’t call her a bitch just because she out classed you.” It was starting to dawn on the stray God that his meeting Hiyori truly had a purpose.

The man grits his teeth as adrenaline from pain and anger fires through his nerves. “Fuck you!!”

“Tch. You thought you knew me, us so well that you thought you could manipulate things. But you never did old man. Your hate ends now.”

At that moment, the war goddess grabs the fallen sorcerer by the fabric of his yukata and yanks him to his feet. “Heaven has rendered their full judgement upon you. Amaterasu will make your death a painful one I’m sure.” With the help of some of Heaven’s soldiers, the mortally wounded sorcerer is flown away to receive his divine punishment.

Yato releases his Shinki’s and collapses from exhaustion. Thank the Kami’s it was over because he wasn’t sure how much longer he would have lasted. There would be a lot of explaining to do but it could wait. First things first.

“Yukine, Nora, could you two wait for me at Kofuku’s?” the stray god requests of his regalia. “I need to talk to Hiyori.”

“Don’t do anything else crazy!” Yukine shakes his finger, scolding the man.

“Come on,” Nora pushes at her friend. “I doubt she’d let him.”

Once the pair is leaving, he turns back to the woman sitting patiently beside him. “Hiyori…” he felt guilty that he wasn’t able to save her life, and now wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry I failed you.”

“I don’t blame you,” she takes his hand. “It was my fault for getting in the way.”

“But Father was right, if only you’d never met me… o-or if I’d cut your ties sooner, you’d still be alive.”

“Yato, listen to me.” She cups his cheeks in her hands and holds his gaze. “Do not blame yourself for any of this. I made my choices and you honored my wish. Am I sad that my family won’t be able to see me anymore, of course? They’ll be heart broken, but we both know this was the only way to make my final wish come true because no matter what,” her voice softens into a smile, “I love you too.”

[memcaked]

Team

Source: Subarashiki kono Sekai | The World Ends With You

Relationships: Kariya Koki & Yashiro Uzuki

Characters: Kariya Koki, Yashiro Uzuki

Additional tags: Banter, dialogue-heavy, pre-game, Queen, can be read as ship, TWEWYTOBER, TWEWYTOBER 2020, Not beta read

Summary: Uzuki’s spindly fingers hit the buttons on the boombox, killing the thrumming bassline. She clenches her teeth, popping the top and ejecting the CD. “Whatever magical music ability you’ve got,” she gripes, closing her entire hand over the disc, “Why can’t you turn it off? What’s the point if you don’t know the lyrics?”

Kariya doesn’t seem to be hearing anything as he leans against the door to this building’s rooftop, poring over something yellowed and inked. “Out of the doorway, the bullets rip,” he drones, not even realising the music’s off.

Beginning notes: you have NO idea how much i've been craving to write about kariya, mate... something about 4 and 7 has me itching for it. i wanted to use more headcanons i have about him (like his past and how he's an Almighty Archivist Janitor who barely ever uses the UG history and law he has rolling around his brain) but it really only had the queen one. i am, really, truly sick of gomens and gaiman as an author and general presence myself but.... takes the "crowley's bentley turns everything into queen after enough time" for myself

Body: Uzuki’s spindly fingers hit the buttons on the boombox, killing the thrumming bassline. She clenches her teeth, popping the top and ejecting the CD. “Whatever magical music ability you’ve got,” she gripes, closing her entire hand over the disc, “Why can’t you turn it off? What’s the point if you don’t know the lyrics?”

Kariya doesn’t seem to be hearing anything as he leans against the door to this building’s rooftop, poring over something yellowed and inked. “Out of the doorway, the bullets rip,” he drones, not even realising the music’s off.

Her growl is aggressive and tired. “The same thing every time! I buy some new CD, the Prince or Def Märch or CAT N’ CORE, those were my last three buys - put it in some boombox, you touch it, you curse it! Like, hello?! I’m buying these to hear the latest songs I like, not to hear those songs for the first few days and then the same twenty, thirty ones you like ever after!”

“It just,” Kariya pauses, not from indecisiveness or nervousness but his laziness, “kind of happened. I think it started when I was sixteen.”

“Sixteen?! You’re incorrigible,” Uzuki drags her sharp, gloved hand down her face, “I need to buy a new boombox, one that you haven’t touched, make sure you won’t touch it again. You can only play anything on it if you’ve got a hazmat suit on.”

“We liquefied too much of our paycheck on celebratory ramen and drinks for your quarantined audio rig you’re masterminding,” Kariya chews a little more thoughtfully, brisker on his lollipop. “Be patient. There’s a lot of time you can use between this month and the next, Tiger.”

Uzuki prowls ever so forward, her heels clicking to her ulterior giggles. “So you agree, don’t you?” There are species of shark that have fewer teeth than a Uzuki Yashiro on her gotcha moment.

“If you’re so gabby, why don’t you tell me what I’m meant to agree to,” The papers fwub as Kariya tears his eyes off them, swinging them down.

“That you’d look forward to and want work?” Her hands are steepled, shit-eating grin on her face.

“Only for the paychecks, y’know.”

“You’re so boring, you know that?” Kariya doesn’t answer. Uzuki turns around and walks towards the opposite edge of the rooftop. You can hear the bodies wailing,” she monologues and gestures to the sky, “their lamentations, their guilt. Think of the points! The wage raises! The promotions deep inside them!” It’s like Uzuki almost swoons, her hands clasped together and voice shooting up to a soprano. “We can have it all. You hear them? When we get those souls, we’re talking Officer territory! As long as you can your ’aaaaaaah, i’m just not ready for commitment’ thing you got going on when I get offered a place there.”

“Nope, not happening,” Kariya shuts her down, shaking his head. “I’m fine down here.”

It’s like her face sours immediately, arms folded in disappointment. “What a ball and chain,” Uzuki bemoans, “One day you’ll come around.”

“Love you too,” Kariya says.

End notes: this one went out really quick once i put my mind to it actually. that's the power of team reaper rocket, baby

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Adult Chucky ohmygod that's exactly what he is too! With Mahito I just- I get WHY he's like that but it doesn't stop me from wanting to punch him in the nose. Which I acknowledge means he's a well written character but- I. Just. Can't. Stand. Him. 🙃🙃🙃

Ok with those hints- and this is just my gut feeling- I'm gonna say it's Geto....is it Geto??? If not that's my only guess ._.

Nanami Kento is a tsundere?!? You heard it here folks Nanami is #1 tsundere and we stan a good dad who protects his children even though he denies it! Though I'm not like into Nanami that way, I'd still die for him to make him happy? If that makes sense? So I'm excited for those relationship headcannons because I feel hes over looked!

And someone else who reads too fast for their own good! Join the party! I don't hate spoilers so I gobble everything up and skim through everything so I've got a gist of the storyline and extra characters. But now I'm like sitting down and dissecting each chapter as I go so I can be super familiar with it for when I decide to write fanfics oops nerd alert

Throw me in that bin of anti Toji...he hurt my baby and I just- My heart and soul belongs to Megumi and if he hates him then I gotta hate him. I don't make the rules ¯\_( ツ)_/¯ Mai is another one I'm having a hard time warming up to. I've warmed up to Todo asdfghjkl him and Yuji bro fighting to best friends is perfect but besides that really everyone else I like bc the story is just THAT good. But I'm only on the exchange arc that I'm like in detail reading. But as I gobble up 5 or more chapters every time I have down time it won't take me long 👁👄👁

💛anon

I'll stand by and cheer while you beat the shit out of Mahito. I promise. I too want to see this sewer rat dissected. He's taken away two possibly three of my favorite characters and shows no sign of stopping so I hope Yuji slams his face in the concrete a couple times soon.

Nope! Although, Getou was on my shit list for a while. I kinda automatically didn't like him at first because he was a "bad guy", but that was short lived. I went from hating him to trying to force myself to hate him. It was all because of the Hidden Inventory arc (which, may I add is officially called Gojo's Past arc? I just refer to is as the flashback arc 👀) and I realized I just.... Can't hate him. For a while I was neutral toward him and then episode 7 happened and now it's game over he's pretty okay

I mean; am I in it totally for the looks?

.... No but maybe.

The person I don't like is Mai! I can't stand her. I think it's ONLY because she reminds me of Lisa from Fire Force (if you haven't watched it, ignore that reference) because I get so pissy towards people who hurt my comfort characters oh my god

I don't like what Mai does to Nobara, and how she treats Maki.

HOWEVER. I do feel like in the current arc she might show up and do something good that will get her off of my shit list. I'm not holding my breath but maybe.

Nanami Kento is the best dad and that's on GOD. Pfffft I was gonna say "what no don't die I need you 💛" but also I would die for Nanami so... I can't say shit xD ahhhh I miss Nanami. Honestly I was a Gojofucker when I started (I mean... Who wasn't?) But I'm attracted to Nanami. Gojo is kinda just a cool character, don't get me wrong like I wanna be his best friend, but I rlly do wanna get Nanamin my heart and my body if he asked politely, which he would do btw he asks before he even so much as kisses you

👀 oop- fanfics? Wanna... Drop a few links in my inbox? I haven't been reading fics lately (ahaha brain go brrrr)

Well! I am 100% not spoiler free. If you ask I'll tell you anything, unless it's something I want you to experience the way I did. I made my friend watch Cautious Hero: The Hero Is Overpowered but Overly Cautious without telling him anything just because I wanted him to be as distraught as I was. It worked.

I do be upset at Toji for what he did to Megs but also? Some events take place in this arc and 👀 I'm kinda hoping Megumi changes his standpoint. It'll be great for his character development, because he's been growing since the first chapter and it's cute. I can't see him completely forgiving his dad, however, we haven't gotten Megs' thought process on What The Fuck ™ happened in the current arc, and he might connect the dots and go "... Huh. So that happened."

... it could also go the wrong way and make him more of a gloomy piece of shit

I rlly just wanna give Megumi a hug I stg. Like. I want to be thrown into the jjk universe, not to live out my own story, but just give everyone a damn hug and just tell them it's gonna be okay l, especially Yuji, Megumi and Gojo bc the first two are having difficult times with their emotions and the second because uhhh. I had this scenario pop in my head and idk why I thought of this, but I guess Gojo and I were fighting about something? And for some reason I was beating the shit out of him. And he was letting the blows land. Like he didn't have infinity activated. He must have done something shitty to allow himself to get beat up and somehow I ended up straddling him and I was yelling shit like "oh, now you won't talk? You won't even look at me in the fucking eye, get this shit off-" and I ripped his blindfold off and I was met with the absolute heart wrenching sight of Gojo Satoru's baby blue eyes swollen with tears. And all he did was smile and say "gomen ne" in his cute little voice (kinda childish, like how he dragged out Yuji's name in the first ep. 'Itadori yuuuuuji') and this scene rlly got me thinking what if the happy go lucky attitude is just a facade he uses to hide how broken he is-

But that's its own separate post lmao

I think I answered everything, have fun reading this shit show

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

[theclosetpoet7]

Love & Red Locks

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

Notes on one-shot: This was inspired by the song “Brains Out” by Kim Cesarion (Damn this song turns me on)

Rating: M

The tavern he finds himself in is small and covered in smoke as he approaches the bar and orders a cup of sake for starters. He can hear the obnoxious laughter of the drunkards having too much fun on the opposite side of the room. Sasuke clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes when a woman settles herself next to him in mere seconds, her long blonde locks brushing slightly over his black coat and a sultry smile on her person as she drawls.

"Hey there."

"Not interested."

The young Uchiha wastes no time in rejecting her advances. She lets out a small huff and jumps off the stool but not without giving him a good view of her backside as she looks over her shoulder to pout.

"Your loss then."

Obsidian orbs narrow as he pours himself another cup, making eye contact with the bartender while taking out his wallet in a signal that told the other man to keep the drinks coming. He turns around in his seat, arms settling behind him and over the counter as he observes the mess of bodies gathered on the dance floor. Most probably complete strangers, looking to get some physical contact to cover up the loneliness they so desperately tried to deny.

Three bottles in, he orders a bowl of ramen to counteract the alcohol in his system. Eyes still searching the crowd for anything that remotely piqued his interest.

Ah.

There.

Uchiha Sasuke meets her eyes and lets out a subtle smirk as he regards the other female with familiarity. She gets up from her seat, fair hands holding a glass with a liquid he could only describe as purple and iridescent. The seductress saunters on to him.

"Did you know that a bottle of sake has about twenty percent of alcohol?"

"It's actually fifteen percent."

Her lips simper.

"True, but the drinks you ordered aren't watered down like the common ones are."

She smiles sweetly at him, curved lashes lightly touching her cheeks when she lowers her eyelids to give him a provocative look.

"The bartender might have overestimated the weight of my wallet."

The young woman giggles while tucking her hair behind her ear, a sign of flirtation that Sasuke knows all too well.

"Judging by the way you dismissed that girl in seconds but not me, I can say that you are starting to feel the effects."

He raises an eyebrow and proceeds to down another cup. She tilts her head to the side, plump red lips teasing him in the way they stick out due to the lipstick she has on.

"And...if my chakra detecting skills haven't gotten rusty after all these years, I can tell that you are..."

She places a hand over his shoulder to lean in, her strong perfume clouding his senses when she whispers seductively into his ear. The handsome avenger stiffens and to add even more allure to her invitation, she tentatively bites his ear before pulling away.

He closes his tab then and after meeting her dark eyes, makes his way out of the establishment; footsteps picking up the pace but at the same time cautious so as to not lose her as she follows him to his room, black heels clicking on the pavement, signalling their mutual agreement.

Because, she was right.

He was in fact...

"Looking to fuck."

___________________________________________

Hot damn, your mind's so beautiful, I'm struck dumb, don't know where my shit's at.

He allows her to push him down the bed. Her legs settle over his narrow hips, and he watches with contained eagerness as she takes off her shirt and tosses it on the hotel floor. She had always been the dominant partner when it came to their trysts. Although he is the more forward one back home, Sasuke doesn't mind the aggressive way she takes command.

He allows this woman to have her way with him.

His fingers tangle in her long red mane which makes him briefly contemplate about the fact that he still isn't used to grabbing hold of strands with such length considering that Sakura had always liked her shorter style. There is a twinge in his heart when he spots the dark color of her tresses again which is a stark contrast to his wife's cherry pink ones. But the want overpowers any lingering doubt especially when she grinds her hips to his. He threads through her hair and angles her head closer to his.

Their lips meet in a union of mixed wet tangling prompting him to groan at the confident way she lowers her hand to touch him underneath his slacks. This woman is different from how his wife usually touches him. The latter was always careful and gentle as well as patient in bringing him to release. The minx before him however is rough and crass, spitting out profanities as to how much she wants to make him come. He hisses as she squeezes his shaft after ridding him of his clothes except for his boxer briefs. By instinct, he thrusts up to meet her hard pumps.

He opens his eyes and yet again spots her hair and the way it curved into spikes, the shaved part of her head giving way to a lighter spot. It is in this moment when he suddenly realizes it. His eyes widen and he catches her hand in his to pry it off his hardened member.

Because, although he enjoys this woman's forwardness, he knows that they shouldn't take this any further than they already have.

"Stop."

"Huh."

"Just stop."

"Why Sasuke-kun?"

.

.

.

"Take off the henge Sakura."

*Poof*

The red locks that have been bothering him since they stepped foot in the room change into the pink hue he has always loved. Sasuke catches a few strands and brings them to his lips softly. Underneath the fog of his inebriation and the flashing lights back at that bar, he hadn't even realized that she had changed some of her features. Though her face was just the same, it didn't occur to him that his wife would actually...

"It's not you."

"What do you mean Sasuke-kun?"

"Your hair."

...attempt to mislead him.

Uchiha Sakura pulls away. Sasuke's eyes fall on her bouncing breasts as she confidently sits up straight, her long legs still over his hips, hands settling on his abdominals as she scrutinizes him under her loving gaze. Eyes searching his, trying to understand why he has halted her actions.

But there is an air of mystery around her, one that reminded him of their earlier days as a couple; when he realized that she had been wondering about when he was going to kiss her for the first time.

"Why red?"

She bites her lip and swallows her saliva, as Sasuke too, pushes himself off the pillows and supports her bottom as he pulls her closer to him.

"Why did you use red Sakura?"

"..."

"Sakura."

"Karin's hair is red."

"I thought so."

"I..."

"You were curious."

"You've gotten really good at reading me Anata. It's always been a question. Not about whether or not you actually slept with her. I ..."

She blushes a deep red.

"I know that I was your first."

"So I've told you."

"But you were travelling together in your teens. Your hormones must have gone haywire with a sexy woman like her, walking around camp."

"Men can control themselves."

"Hm."

She draws her eyebrows.

"I never had the urge."

"Right, but even I had wondered from time to time at that age, especially being surrounded by strong men."

"Are you trying to tell me that you want me to put a henge on?"

"No! No! It's only you I want. Even when they were shirtless and all, it was always your face I pictured. Ah, gomen. It was inconsiderate of me to assume that you might have felt otherwise. I know you love me Sasuke-kun but it doesn't mean that you can't be attracted to other..."

*Flick*

"Itai."

His hands slide over her thighs, one continues its sensuous ascent to grab one breast while the other settles under her pink curls to rub on her protruding pebble.

"You are allowed to be attracted to other women." She reiterates.

Sasuke stops.

"Sakura, you were the one who suggested the role-playing."

She had. Three months into their marriage and a year since they've started travelling together, the pinkette had suddenly proposed this to spice things up in their bedroom. Not that he didn't think that it was passionate already. Their mating was one that always managed to blow his mind. But she had wanted something different, and ever since they started walking side by side, Sasuke has known that he couldn't really say no to her all that often.

Besides, what was the harm?

Apparently something more profound than he previously thought.

They were bound to delve into this topic one way or another. Even if his wife knew of their deep connection, there were still certain curiosities they haven't discussed.

"I have a confession to make."

She pulls away then, and as they always do whenever they're in serious conversation, Sasuke gets up and takes a chair. He places it in front of her, while giving her the unspoken space she needs for a few seconds.

When he sits down, and leans over, a hand rests on his knee while he looks at his wife who is busy biting her lip. Sasuke lets out a sigh.

"What is it?"

There is a pause.

"I'm jealous."

"I can see that."

"Of Karin. I'm jealous of Karin."

Why she would be is beyond him. They ran into his ex teammate months before and it was a brief reunion that involved certain intel on a former sannin.

"I know it probably doesn't make any sense. I mean, you told me you loved me and we're together. It's just that..."

"You haven't really forgiven me have you?"

"What? I have! I have. I think I have."

"Sakura, do you still resent me for that night?"

She knew what he was talking about.

Because even if Sasuke was with her now, and he was essentially the boy she fell in love with, there were still some issues that were unresolved. They never really talked about what happened before.

For Sakura was too quick to forgive him.

"You said you didn't need us."

There it was.

His eyes dawned with understanding.

"I'm sorry. It seems petty. And years after at that but I,"

She finds her words carefully.

"You said that you were destined to walk that path alone."

Sakura withdraws into herself but regards him cautiously as she puts her hair over her shoulder and plays with the long pink strands. She breathes in deeply.

"Yet you chose them."

He isn't saying anything.

"You sought Karin out. You went to her. While you left us. You left me. But, you went to them."

"I'm sorry."

"No no, I'm not asking for an apology."

Sasuke runs a hand through his jet-black hair.

"I don't know what you want me to say Sakura. I can't change that part of my life."

"I'm not asking you to."

"But you can't let it go."

She focuses on him then.

"It's not that. I have forgiven you. I am proud of you. However, after meeting Team Taka for the first time, I realized something."

His wife fumbles with her fingers. And if their topic wasn't so important in this moment, Sasuke would notice that they are both half-naked, upper torsos unabashedly exposed with just their undergarments remaining. Sakura finds her words again.

"As it turns out. I still haven't gotten over that part, seeing you with your team, seeing you with her and knowing how much you actually care for them."

"..."

"It hurts. And I don't want to feel like this. But I just do..."

"Sakura."

"It's actually a bit selfish of me huh? Considering that you have never done anything to make me doubt your... "

She reddens.

"Your love for me."

She is the epitome of a blushing bride. Fresh out of their marital bed, still so shy about their relationship but confident in it as well. This must have been something that caught her off guard.

"I'm honestly happy Sasuke-kun that you found comrades like that despite everything."

But she is still a bit insecure. He can tell. It surprises him because she has never been this unsure about them before. And she's never been jealous.

Sasuke gets up from his seat and puts a knee to the bed. He grabs his wife's hand and pulls her to face him. They are sitting across each other on their knees.

Uchiha Sasuke stares at Uchiha Sakura then, and he tells her with his eyes. It is a connection so deep and so cathartic that her eyes give way to an emotion that is exclusively reserved for him and allows him to embrace her.

Skin on skin.

Heart on heart.

Bodies flushed against each other in a hold meant to draw out embarrassment in some couples but not them.

It meant so much more to them.

"Can you feel that?"

The former avenger whispers.

Sakura lets out a deep exhale and wraps her arms around him, pulling him even closer.

"Yes."

"Count them."

She presses her face closer to him and inhales his manly scent. When she exhales again, her breath puffs softly against his skin, the light contact already stirring his insides.

"102 beats per minute."

"Because of you."

How could she doubt for a second?

When it was only her.

"I couldn't..."

She waits for him to continue.

"I couldn't bring you down with me. I decided on revenge in the end. I chose to leave team 7. I chose to leave you because, I couldn't bring you down with me."

"Sasuke-kun."

"And I don't regret it."

He guides her to the bed and hovers over her, his lips skimming her neck and fingers tangling in her own when he pins them to the side of her head. His tongue comes out to lick the skin above her pulse.

"Aah, Sasuke-kun."

"At the time, sex was the furthest thing from my mind Sakura."

She curves her body to him.

"Even if I thought of it then, I couldn't have possibly done it with another woman. Because you existed."

Then he releases her hands and towers over her, no hesitation in his actions as he pulls her panties down, revealing her sex to him. Her instincts should tell her to cover her body, but with the way her husband is staring at her, Sakura can't. And she couldn't take her eyes away. Not when he was still holding her gaze. Since she had already been eager moments before, his previous touch only served to awaken the heat in her body.

"But now, it's all I can think about."

He pumps himself for a second, staring into the depths of her soul. When he is hard and ready, he gathers her into his arms.

"Sasuke-kun."

He smirks.

"I am always..."

He enters her in a thrust so powerful and hard that it sends sparks into the pits of her stomach. Fireworks set off in her core as she pulls him in, legs wrapping around his taut ass, gasps drowning out her unease when he continues his last sentence.

.

.

.

"I'm always looking to fuck my wife."

Her screams echo into the night as her husband proves to her over and over again that she alone held his heart.

.

.

.

Because Kami.

He just loves to fuck her brains out.

____________________

Author's Note:

Itai- Ouch

Gomen- Sorry

Not as detailed as the others. Hello! I disappeared for a while huh? Still not completely back yet. In fact, I might not be completely back because life is just you know. But I just want my readers to know that I really appreciate all your reviews. Don't worry, I am not abandoning my stories but I just don't have a schedule to always keep them updated. Still though, whenever this juices start flowing, I will type them out.

Oh my, I was the one misleading you guys. :). Anyway, I always wondered how such a discussion between Sasuke and Sakura would go with regards to any past relationships.

Rest of the Fic; Love & Roll

[maskedl0ve]

Cracks in the Ice

So u h I gomen if this is lame or stupid but I decided to finally write what Claus does when his emotions become too much for him.  He tends to bottle things up and due to some shit that’s been happenin for a long time he kinda finally had a breakdown to let it all out. 

This drabble is kinda what lead to him just laying numbly on the forest floor in one of my previous posts. Ye a h.  Warning cause it’s like...panic attacks, mention of phantom pains, and ect.  if you’re fine with reading all this then go ahead. You’ll get to see why claus isn’t doin so good atm.

....

How far has he wandered? Surely it’s far enough. 

Mismatched eyes take in his surroundings, a hazy analysis telling him that he was indeed where he wanted to be. Hidden away in the woods, so far from his home town and any sort of civilization that no one would find or hear him.  Any screams, no matter how much they echoed, would go unheard. 

Perhaps it was this realization that finally caused the dam that held back his emotions to finally crack, or perhaps it was cracking and leaking the entire trek here. Whatever the case was, the moment his facade of stability began to waver was the moment a tidal wave of bottled up emotions came rushing forth. 

It started with with a strangled whimper, a sob becoming caught in his throat and threatening to choke him. Hesitance, fear, the last dying remnants of self restraint. He didn’t want to fall apart. But, it was too late for that...  His entire being came undone as a miserable, ugly wail tore itself free from his chest. It was a disgusting, hideous noise, one that came from the very depths of one’s soul. As he shattered his legs gave way and salty tears blurred his vision. Static formed in the back of his brain and numbed his mind as sob after heart wrenching sob escaped from his lips.  He screamed, he wailed, he sobbed, his breathing becoming sharp, desperate gasps for air as his tears and pain began to rob him of it.  Nothing arose in the boy’s mind, nothing other than the heartache that was consuming him whole. 

Just vaguely, he could make out a terrible metallic screech that pounded against his skull, clawing at his sanity. It grew louder, and louder, becoming deafening. Metal scraping against metal, a hollow, echoing beat mixed in with the the clangor. But, unlike most would want to, the miserable child did not move his hands to try and cover his ears. There was no point in trying to block out the dreadful noise, he knew he’d never be able to escape it. 

After all, it was the sound of his heart beat, racing faster and faster with each breath. 

His forehead pressed against the grassy forest floor, his arms wrapped tightly around his own trembling frame. Each cry of agony seemed to shake him drastically, making what had once been a powerful weapon, seem like nothing more than a frail child. 

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt. 

His heart, his lungs, his head, his mind, his body. It felt as though his skull would crack at any second, or his body tear itself apart. 

But nothing could be done. 

Not a thing. 

Sobs, wails, screams, they all blended together.  

Who knows for how long the pitiful display continued, the chimeras of the forest only able to listen to the mournful cries of one of their tortured own. A monster that so desperately wanted to be human. 

Eventually, it seemed as though the creature had worn itself out. Its heart still raced, anguish still lay rooted within its soul, but it seemed as though it just...couldn’t do anything anymore... 

Even as the searing pain of his broken spine cracked and snapped with every movement, the chimera didn’t seem to have the energy to even react anymore.  Its body completely collapsed.  The only human eye it had burned from the tears it had shed, its throat inflamed and raw from its own wretched cries, even the numbness and disconnect that had spread throughout its body did little to pull a reaction out of the creature. 

So it lay there, every single fiber of it’s being aching. 

Slowly, the chimera dragged its limbs closer to its body, curling up the way a child almost would. Weak whimpers escaped it. but just like everything else, not a soul would hear them.  No one would come to its rescue. Not now, not ever...