I want so much to have more time for creative things... I barely have time to continue my Gremia/Damian fic (and despite lack of time I WRITE IT), I have so many ideas, want to tell about Byrgenwerth life of my favourite scholar four - Micolash, Rom(my little ginger sigma-female), Laurence and Caryll, explain my vision of their lifes and write lots of headcanons for them! Explain how Gehrman and Laurence met, how old is Gehrman in my opinion (at least how old he WAS during byrgenwerth era), who is Willem and why he is cool character, tell the whole story of Gremia! I realised yesterday that I see him as a complete complicated person with flaws, funny stories, good and bad sides, things that he likes and dislikes, his possible connection with other characters. I think I have the whole vision of a bloodborne lore by now!
Want to share so much! But time... :'^( I didn't even finish my comic (3 of 6 panels) yet but I still remember about it!
Yesterday I started new drawing again, don't like how I draw at all, I guess it's a sort of period of self-digging? I drew sketch for Micolash/Saint Adeline art but god it's so hard right now. That time of being artist (lol I am not tbh) again. No good line in 10 minutes of struggling wtf I need to sit, take a deep breath in, breath out and draw, learn, read guides, but TIME!!
I want to tell that I ship Micolash/Adeline (as MicoEdgar, both are good, just in different time of Mico's life), Laurence/Rom, Gehrman/Lady Maria, Gremia/Damian, Caryll/Rom in their young age and etс!! Iship lots and lots of things
And with my head full of ideas and cool stuff I have 1 fucking day to take rest of work, and tomorrow 31th of December I am gonna work and it will be hard (I couldn't even guess that life of florist is so hard)
SO!
I often got into depressive mood but husband and friends from Tumblr take me out of it just posting their stuff and being themselves and talking with me sometimes. Just know my mutuals that I may not talk with you but I love your works, what you write, post and everything... Just no energy. All I do is reblog and like your amazing stuff and what you reblog sorry
If you want - send me asks, because even if I am so busy, when someone wants me to do something (write, draw and ;alejfrwlemfgvew;) I'll do it with much more motivation than if I would want myself to do something!
Hope New Year will be great! I always got sensitive when it comes to New Year, cry often when it's 00:00 because I overcome with feelings - so many things have passed, those I deeply cherish in my heart and those I hate (but never really want to forget something! ANY experience makes us stronger and helps to survive). I hope you all will have wonderful year! Even if you feel bad - I have a belief that destiny leads us to places where we MUST be and it is always something that is best for all. World is living in balance with it's good and bad, I always say that. Just maybe we need to look around ourselves and look for good things that surround us but we don't see them/don't care about them/don't want to know.
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Give me less 'Jason borrows Bruce's clothes and is amazed that he fits them', and more 'Bruce borrows Jason's clothes and is amazed that they are too big'.
Even without changing Jay's height and weight like I do, in the comics he is 2 inches (5cm) shorter but 15 pounds (7kg) heavier than Bruce. Which isn't a lot but still.
Because the first one is great, but the second one? Like Bruce never thought that Jason was going to get as big as him, let alone bigger, first because he was such a small kid, and then because he didn't even reach 16. So the idea that Jason outgrew him while he wasn't even around to witness it just gives me so many feelings
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I rewatched Gravity Falls with my sister and holy crap being an adult and watching everything Stan goes through is insane.
I’ve been working through some stuff in therapy and like, this man has made some mistakes but definitely did not deserve what the narrative did to him.
Screws up his brothers machine on accident? Homeless at 17 and doesn’t speak to his twin for 10 years. Sees his brother again when they’re both at the end of their respective ropes and in their worst places mentally? Gets in a fight that lands his brother trapped for 30 years while he takes his death and tries to open the technical monstrosity his brother built when this man hasn’t even finished high school. Gets his brother back after 30 years? Doesn’t get a scrap of acknowledgement and is told to move out and leave him alone. Has spent 40 years trying to fix and atone for his mistakes? Not even a thank you and gets emotional about it such that the spell against Bill doesn’t work.
What’s left? Oh I don’t know, how about losing all of your memories and sense of self, letting the narrative boil you down to nothing more than a mistake and the only way you’re capable of rectifying it is by ceasing to be yourself, as literally as possible.
Like, I’m sorry, but if Ford really was so unreceptive to actually talking/working through things, I think Stan had more than atoned for his mistakes. I don’t think he was a fuck up or that his takeaway from everything should be that he wasn’t worth it. That his sacrifice was what he owed the world for everything he did.
Because he didn’t do any of it alone.
And boo fucking hoo that Ford had to shoot his brother. If their places had been reversed I doubt Stan could have done the same.
I’m sorry, you trusted an inter dimensional demon, kept secrets because you were too prideful to ask for help or admit to your failings, and again too prideful to say thank you to your younger brother who spent 3 decades doing everything he could to get you back? Stop throwing such a tantrum and get off your high horse.
Sure Stan made mistakes, but Ford never seemed to learn from his.
Rewatching it I was actually angry at the ending, at the idea that when Stan is facing Bill he’s not even upset at the hand he’s been dealt. At the unfairness of it.
Because it was unfair.
And if I had a single gripe with the series at all I would wish for maybe one extra episode after Stan losing his memories and before getting them back. Just one single episode of Ford admitting how he hurt his brother, the role he played in the apocalypse, just 20 minutes of him coming to terms with his own flaws.
Because we as the audience know Ford isn’t perfect, but I need him to acknowledge that too.
There is so much fanfiction where Stan’s life is horribly lonely or traumatic in ways the show can’t cover or makes light of and I get it but also it’s clear other people relate to Stan feeling like all he’s done is make mistakes and that he deserves what he’s gone through and that is so NOT the case.
And I wish the official narrative would acknowledge that too.
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