#One flustered giraffe coming right up

[devildomwriter]

The Spirit of Giving | Mephistopheles x Reader

1K+ words | GN! Reader | CW: None

“Thank you so much for coming with me, Mephistopheles!”

“Why, of course.”

Christmas songs echoed over the speakers of the supermarket as you pushed an empty basket toward the toy aisle.

Mephistopheles accompanied you, making the excuse it was to investigate the human world during the holiday season but you could see a faint blush every time you smiled at him.

In the spirit of the holidays, you decided to help with the toy drive for the local impoverished kids. Mephistopheles, being as rich as he was, did not understand the concept that five-dollar toys could not be bought. This made his journey to buy toys with you that much more interesting.

He observed dolls of stylish monsters, miniature versions of food, plastic garbage trucks, and mystery stuffed animals with horns and large eyes. He was entertained, to say the least. Humans had such a wide variety of interests. He looked at the tiny tricycles and chuckled imagining a small child playing with it so he quickly picked it up and put it into the cart.

“Uh, how much is that?”

“It’s only forty.”

“I have a two hundred dollar budget, maybe let’s try quantity instead of quality. That way more kids can get things.”

“Two hundred?” Mephistopheles was baffled. To him this wasn’t even a budget it was less than pennies. “That’s far too little, make it a million, that’s more reasonable.”

“Are you out of your mind!? I don’t have anywhere near that much!”

“But I do, I’ll take over from here, push the basket and I’ll put things in it. Does this place have shopping assistants?”

“This is a Walmart…”

“That doesn’t answer my question?”

“It definitely doesn’t have any.”

“Hmph. I’ll call by butler from the limo, he can help us. I’ll summon a few more while I’m at it.”

Although you felt small pangs of jealousy that this money was nothing to him you were more overwhelmed with the joy of how excited the kids in shelters were going to be.

You quickly took his hand as soon as he hung up the phone and grinned.

“Let’s get shopping!”

He was flustered for a moment but quickly composed himself and matched your smile. “Right! Tell me what they like?”

“Okay! Let’s start with the little ones!”

Mephistopheles was confused by the idea of a giraffe specifically meant for children to chew. Weren’t they born with fangs? How else can they defend themselves?

And why are all their toys so soft? Will wood and plastic break them? He couldn’t believe any of them made it to adulthood.

“Okay, these ones are for kids around eight to ten,” you explained walking down the aisle. “This side is girl-coded and this one boy-coded.”

He took a moment to look around. “There certainly are a lot of dinosaurs and fake bugs. What is this… a robotic cockroach…” he grimaced.

You laughed at his expression and nodded, “I don’t know what to tell you. I can say for certain though I was a dinosaur kid, hand me one of the moving t-Rexes.”

“This one?” He asked as he handed you a triceratops.

“Nope, but we can get that too.”

He smiled and nodded approvingly as the third basket was filled and passed off to one of the butlers he summoned.

“And these dolls that look like monsters…these are for little girls?”

“Yes. Monster High, it’s a childhood staple.”

“I see. What’s next on the list…arts and crafts?”

“My favorite!” You exclaimed loudly which caught him by surprise but he followed your brisk pace down to the next aisle.

At one point you noticed several employees watching you warily, as well as security standing near the butlers waiting with their full baskets. You decided to ignore it in favor of shopping as eventually they’d see you weren’t trying to steal anything.

“Aren’t guns…an issue? Why are there so many mock guns for kids to play with?”

“It’s a nerf gun, don’t question it.”

“And this…thing…”

“I honestly don’t even know, kids are weird.”

“That they are…”

When it was time to check out the sun had set and the employees were very relieved they did not have an organized theft on their hands, as this was normal for Walmart.

As you sat in the limo you made sure to choose the middle seat right next to Mephistopheles.

“Oh?” He questioned, legitimately taken aback but he decided not to question it as you held his arm with both hands and rested your head against his shoulder.

He stiffened up and turned a deep shade of pink. “A-are you tired?” He stammered out.

“No. Just very happy.” You said as you smiled up at him and he turned a shade of red.

“Is that so? Well…I’m glad I could make you happy.” He hesitated to ask but was too curious not to. “And what have I done to please you so much?”

You were astonished he hadn’t put it together. “You bought toys for the little kids in need.”

“That made you happy? Even though they aren’t for you?”

You tilted your head curiously. “Then why did you help? Didn’t it make you happy, knowing a little boy can ride a bike now that his parents can’t afford it, if he even has any parents? Doesn’t it make you smile thinking about a little girl brushing her Barbie’s hair and showing her off at school? What about the kids who can race each other with remote-controlled cars or ride around in expensive fake cars? You don’t feel happy that thanks to you all of that is possible? That all these children are happy?”

Mephistopheles was silent but thought deeply for a moment. This wasn’t in line with how he was raised both as an aristocratic noble and as a demon. Happiness just from giving? And giving to someone with no recognition and no ties to you at all? He thought some more and realized that yes, he was happy. He felt he had a responsibility now to these kids to give them a good holiday even if he was against said holiday.

He smiled at you in confirmation and you snuggled deeper into his side. Pleased with how the short trip to the human world had gone, he let his guard down and rested his head atop yours. For the first time, the moral of Christmas had gotten through to him, and it was thanks to the adorable human attached to his side.

[the-delta-42]

Ripples 2

Ripples

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Chapter 2: Diagon Alley and Hogwarts

Harry fell flat on his face as they entered the Leaky Cauldron. One of the Hags smoking tutted, as Harry slowly got up, only to be flatted when Bones landed on top of him.

“Hey, Harry.” Said Bones, before a dull thud was heard, swiftly followed by swearing.

Lily stumbled out of the grate, her hand on her forehead. Bones rolled off of Harry and the two boys got to their feet.

The rest of their group came along shortly, Rose darting off to the nearest bin and her breakfast came back up. Ginny wobbled and leaned against Harry, while Mrs Weasley brushed everyone off.

“You usual, James?” Tom the barkeeper called.

Lily took a moment to pause from her swearing to look at James.

“I’m called here pretty often.” Said James, before looking at Tom, “No thanks, on Hogwarts business.”

Tom’s eyes fell onto Harry, who quickly shoved Bones in the Barkeepers line of sight. Bones only grinned and hooked his arm with Harry’s and started spinning in a circle. Bone let go of Harry’s arm and cause Harry to take a few staggering steps towards the bar.

“Bless my soul,” Tom gasped, “Harry Potter, it’s wonderful to meet you.” Tom was shaking Harry’s hand, “Your father says a lot about you.”

James smiled, “Tom, Harry’s going to need his hand back.”

Tom quickly let go of Harry’s hand, allowing James to herd the group out the back of the Leaky Cauldon, where he tapped the brick that opened Diagon Alley. The younger ones gaped at the Alley, while Fred and George shot into the Alley and went straight for the joke shop.

On the way to Gringotts, James and Molly were arguing.

“You really don’t have to, James dear,” Said Molly, wringing her hands, “I’m sure we’ll manage something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Said James, “you’re my cousin.”

“Second cousin, twice removed.” Molly corrected him.

“You’re still a Prewett and my mother was a Prewett.” Said James, as they reached the steps of Gringotts, just as what looked like a Walrus, a Giraffe and a Pig in a blond wig walked out.

Lily and James stopped dead at the sight of the Dursley’s, who looked down at the Potter’s group.

Petunia stuck her nose into the air and made to walk past them, only to walk into Amelia Bones.

“Watch where you’re going!” Snapped Amelia, as she guided her niece around Petunia, muttering about a ‘bloody idiot woman’ as she walked away.

Harry, Ron and Bones started laughing as Petunia looked flustered. Lily shook her head and started guiding her group into the bank. Lily was about to walk into the bank herself when Petunia spoke.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Petunia demanded, glaring at her sister.

Lily turned and glared at Petunia, “I have nothing to say to you, Petunia Dursley, not anymore.”

Lily spun on her heel and walked into the bank, ignoring the sound of protest coming from Petunia, Lily marched over to the Goblin Teller.

“James has gone down to our vault, right?” Lily asked, getting a nod from the Goblin, before she walked over to the seating area and pulled out a shrunken book from her pocket and enlarged it with a tap of her wand. Lily flicked through a few pages, before she settled on a page near the middle of the book.

Harry zoomed past a few minutes later and made a bee-line towards Ollivanders, before Lily grabbed the back of his jumper.

“Harry,” Lily said, “Let’s get the rest of your equipment before getting you a wand.”

“Why?” Harry whined, eager to have a wand of his own.

“Because getting a wand is the best part and is reserved for last.” Said James, as he caught up with them, “Let’s go get your robes fitted, I’m sure Malkin’s is clear at the moment.”

It was a rather comical sight, Harry and Bones were making funny faces, up until Harry received a needle to the leg making him yelp. Ron and Neville were done next, before they wandered out of Madame Malkin’s and to Slug and Jigger’s Apothecary to get their potion ingredients and then to Flourish and Blotts to get their school books, then to Potage’s for a cauldron, Wiseacre’s for a Telescope and then to Eeylops Owl Emporium to get an Owl. Harry gazed at the snowy owl adoringly, despite the owl having her head under her wing.

James and Lily had stocked up on Defence Against the Dark Arts books, seeing how Harry had taken to reading their old schoolbooks at home, James even found Harry practicing the wand movements with a chopstick.

They entered Ollivander’s, the Weasley’s splitting from them, namely because Molly had felt that James had spent way too much on them and didn’t want to drain any more money out of them and Neville and his grandmother were in Magical Menagerie getting food for Neville’s toad. Bones grinned as he and Harry looked around the shop.

“Hello.” Came a soft voice, making Harry, James and Lily jump.

Bones turned and looked at the owner of the voice, “Hello, Grandad.”

Ollivander smiled, before his eyes darted over to Lily, “Lily Potter, Willow 10 ¼ inches, Dragon-heartstring, swishy, a nice wand for Charm work.” His eyes then found James, “James Potter, Mahogany, 11 inches, Dragon-heartstring, pliable, excellent for Transfiguration.”

His eyes then snapped to Bones, “I assume you are still carrying your mother’s wand?”

Bones nodded, before pulling a wand from his pocket. It was 11 inches in length and had what looked like a vine stretching up it, with knots along the shaft. The handle was black and had what looked like Runes painted on it.

“Spruce, 11 inches, with a single Unicorn tail hair.” Ollivander murmured, before looking at Bones, “I assume the Ministry destroyed your father’s wand when he was arrested.”

Bones shook his head, “They couldn’t get me to let it go and when I did, I hid it.”

Ollivander nodded, before handing Bones’s mother’s wand back to the boy, before he started taking their measurements. It wasn’t long before Harry was trying wands out, with the reject pile growing. Eventually, Harry settled on a Holly Wand, 11 inches with a Phoenix tail feather for its core. Bones then went about trying the wands, before settling on a Silver Lime wand, 12 ¼ inches with a Demi-guise hair entwined with the heart string of a Demi-guise.

James cleared his throat, before looking at Ollivander, “I sent a letter to you last week, regarding a certain wand.”

Ollivander nodded, “It’s not very often that I get custom wand orders, let alone ones that allow me to decide the aspects of the wand. Mr Potter,” Ollivander started addressing Harry, “I am certain that you’ve been informed about this.”

“Actually Mr. Ollivander,” Said James, “Harry is in the dark about this.”

“Ah.” Said Ollivander, before retrieving a wand from his stores, “14 inches, Rowan with a Royal Phoenix tail feather entwined with a Griffin hair as the core. A drop of your blood was added to both the wood and the core, so only you are able to use this wand.”

Harry grabbed it, causing it to emit a myriad of gold and silver sparks, “Wow…”

“That wand is to show your status.” Said Ollivander, “You father had one, as did his father.”

Harry looked at his parents, “What’s he talking about?”

James sighed, “Harry, you are aware of the Sacred 28?” Harry nodded, “While the name Potter doesn’t appear amongst them, it is still an Ancient and Noble House, especially considering its standing in the background of the Wizarding World.”

Harry was quiet, before paling, “Does this mean I have to deal with politics?”

James winced, making Harry groan.

James nodded to Ollivander, before herding the group out of the shop, passing Augusta as she and Neville entered the shop.

“I’m glad that you managed to convince her to let Neville have his own wand, rather than having him use Frank’s.” Said James, making Lily smile.

“Ariana’s visiting today,” Said Lily, making Harry perk up, “She’s managed to take a break from her lesson plans to visit.”

Ariana Potter, nee Dumbledore, taught Wand Lore and creation at Hogwarts, it was one of the more recent classes and was added as an elective for the Third-year students. Harry loved it when she visited, because she always had a story, Harry’s favourite was the story behind Uncle Aberforth’s goat grooming charm.

Harry once joked that something like that should be made for Scabbers, Ron’s rat, he also suggested that Scabbers be shown to them, since none of them had actually seen the rat. Ron actually turned up with a bleeding finger after that, apparently Scabbers didn’t like strangers. Scabbers had actually vanished recently, after James and Remus appeared at the Burrow to collect Harry.

Ariana smiled as Harry and his friends entered the living room.

“Harry.” Said Ariana, getting to her feet and striding over to him, “You’ve grown.”

There was a stifled snort to Harry’s left, quickly followed by another to his right. Harry made sure to give both Ron and Bones a filthy look, before looking back at Ariana.

“I suppose you think I’m here to tell you another story.” Said Ariana, walking back over to the chair she vacated, “But, I don’t have a story that’ll keep you interested, especially since you’re going to Hogwarts at the end of next month.”

“Well,” Said Harry, “I’m sure there’s something.”

“Oh,” Ariana responded, looking at her Grandson, “like what?”

“Like how we get sorted into our houses.” Said Harry, making Ariana laugh.

“But that would ruin the surprise.” Chortled Ariana, “Besides, it’s not all that exciting anyway.”

Harry shrugged, before he reached into his pocket and produced his Holly wand, his parents had taken the Rowan Wand and were keeping hold of it until Harry hit 14, something about magical inheritances or something.

“Oh, you got your wand?” Ariana asked, before pulling hers from her pocket and examined the two side-by-side, “What’s it made of?”

“Holly, with a Phoenix feather core.” Said Harry, proudly.

“An unusual combination, but it makes a good wand for duelling.” Ariana commented, putting her wand back into her pocket and handing Harry’s wand back to him, “An interesting wand.”

“Yeah,” Said Harry, “apparently it had a brother that belonged to Voldemort.”

Ariana hummed, frowning, “Yew, 13 ½ inches,” Said Ariana, “it is against the nature of a Phoenix feather to be used for dark means.”

Ariana then looked around to make sure no one other than the boys were listening, before she leaned in close to Harry, “And did you get another wand?”

Harry nodded, “Rowan, 14 inches and a Royal Phoenix feather entwined with a Griffin tail hair.”

Ariana raised her eyebrows, before Harry winced and pulled out another wand3, “Oak, 9 ½ inches with a Dragon-heartstring.”

Ariana nodded appreciatively, before Harry quickly stowed the wand away in his pocket, “Only use that when you’re unable to use your first wand.”

Harry nodded, before he picked his books up and started to go upstairs.

“Oh, and Harry?” Ariana called, making Harry stop, “Be sure to pack everything you need.”

Harry grinned and nodded, before racing up the stairs.

Ariana laughed and shook her head, heading back to her chair.

The rest of the summer passed quickly for Harry. He had been practicing some of the spells in his schoolbooks, at least he had until his mum confiscated his wand half-way through August. Harry was practically dancing when the September 1st came around, he was racing around the house, eager to get to King’s Cross and Platform 9 ¾. So much so, he completely missed his mum telling him that his wand was in the sideboard in the dining room, he only realised he didn’t have it when they were doing the final checks and Bones practically threw it at him.

Bones had a sour look on his face, having barely woken up. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was messier than Harry’s. Harry internally winced, recalling that Bones suffered from nightmares and the occasional bout of sleepwalking. Harry and Bones once shared a room, up until Bones started sleepwalking and muttering things hoarsely in his sleep. Bones barely remembered what he’d been dreaming or talking about, but he didn’t like to share.

The group arrived at King’s Cross at Quarter past Ten, with Harry literally running off to get trolleys for him and Bones, he returned with two trolleys and they began to unload their trunks onto the trolleys, when Lily stopped and near gaped at a certain family hovering around the station. James followed her gaze and frowned, before herding their group towards Platforms 9 and 10. They made sure that the Dursley’s spotted them.

“Excuse me,” Said Harry, trying not to bounce, “but you’re blocking the way to the platform.”

The Dursley’s were silent, before Vernon spluttered, “What platform?! It doesn’t exist.”

Harry sighed, before manoeuvring himself around the Dursleys and practically sprinted towards the Ticket Barrier. Lily tried not to look amused at the look on Vernon Dursley’s face when Harry vanished inside the wall. James then went through with the girls and Lily accompanied Bones through, they joined up with the others. Harry had already joined up with Neville and the two found a compartment to share with Bones and Ron.

Bones lifted his trunk off the trolley, only for James to tap it with his wand and hovered in front of them, Harry’s trunk doing the same after James saw him struggling with it. Harry quickly bounded off the Train and enveloped his parents in a tight hug.

Harry held onto them tightly, making Lily frown.

“Where’s all the excitement gone?” Lily asked, crouching down.

“I’m scared.” Said Harry, his voice small, “what if there’s been a mistake and I’m not supposed to be there?”

“Then Dumbledore will have more than a few Howlers demanding to know what happened.” Said Lily, “If it makes you feel any better, I was scared as well, when I first went to Hogwarts. And besides, you’re not going to be amongst strangers, there’ll be the Weasley’s, Neville, your grandmother, Severus, Mercutio, and that’s not even covering the other teachers who’ll be excited to meet you.”

Harry nodded, as a few tears escaped, he swallowed, before James spoke.

“If it helps, we’ll write to you.” Said James, looking down at Harry, “Even if you want a letter every day.”

“Not every day.” Blurted Harry, his face going red, “Once a week would be fine.”

James laughed, and it was one of those rare laughs what reached his eyes. Bones stood slightly behind them, only for Harry to pull him into a group hug. James smiled as he felt the boy melt into the hug. He hoped that if they were in separate houses that they wouldn’t turn on each other.

At Ten minutes to Eleven, The Weasley’s arrived, James immediately set about helping them load their trunks onto the Train, placing Ron’s with the other boys in his year. James and Lily tried not to smile too widely when Harry quietly told Ginny that he’d write to her over the course of the year.

A warning whistle sounded, before everyone quickly got on the train. James and Lily were waving as the Train disappeared.

“Now, all we have to do is wait another couple of years and the girls will be off as well.” Said James, looking down at his watch, “I’m glad we got the day off, seeing how tightly winded everyone’s been lately, especially since that break in at Gringotts.”

A quiet cough caught their attention, James and Lily turned and found themselves face-to-face with Vernon and Petunia. The girls hid behind James and Lily, obviously not trusting the two Dursleys.

Meanwhile on the Hogwarts Express, Harry, Ron, Neville and Bones were chatting.

“I know mum and dad have been keeping their lips sealed about it.” Said Harry, as Ron leaned forwards.

“My dad thinks a Death Eater could be behind it.” Ron whispered, making Neville frown.

“I doubt it, I remember Gran saying that they had charms to prevent anyone other than a Goblin opening that type of Vault.” Said Neville, “It’s kind of scary, really.”

Bones snorted, “This is when it turns out that whoever it was had a Goblin’s help, or it was a publicity stunt, so they had more people to lock away.”

Everyone stared at him, “What?”

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of sunshine.” Said Ron, looking down at Scabbers, “Actually, George gave me a spell the other day, apparently it’s supposed to turn things yellow.”

Bones smirked, “Yeah, let’s torment a rat, just to make out day a bit more interesting.”

Ron pulled out his wand, before the compartment door opened, revealing a girl with frizzy brown hair and rather large front teeth.

“Has anyone lost a Toad?” Said the Girl, holding Trevor in her hands.

Neville looked embarrassed, before taking Trevor and hastily shoving him in his pocket. The girl’s eyes were on Ron’s wand.

“Are you performing magic?” The girl asked, “Let’s see it then.”

The girl sat down across from Ron and next to Bones, who scowled.

“Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!” Said Ron, waving his wand. The most he did was knock the sweet box off Scabbers head.

“Are you sure that was a real spell?” The girl asked, in a bossy sounding voice, “It’s not very good is it.”

Harry pulled his wand out, pointed it at Scabbers and said “Wingardium Leviosa.”

Scabbers started floating, the girl grinned, before Harry smirked, “Want to see something cool? Accio!”

Scabbers started to fly across the compartment towards Harry, before he just dropped to the floor.

Bones looked at the rat, and then at Harry, “Wasn’t that the spell that caused you mum to confiscate your wand?”

Harry scowled at Bones, before looking at the Girl, “Who are you?”

“Oh, I forgot that I hadn’t introduced myself,” Said the Girl, before holding her hand out, “I’m Hermione, Hermione Granger.”

The boys chimed their names it one after another.

“Neville Longbottom.”

“Ron Weasley.”

“Stevens.”

“We all call him Bones, I’m Harry Potter.”

The girl’s eyes widened, before they flickered to his scar. Hermione opened her mouth, before Harry held up a finger and pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket and handed it to her.

Hermione looked down at Harry’s untidy handwriting.

‘Yes, I’m really Harry Potter, no, I don’t remember what Voldemort looks like and no, I can’t remember what happened that night.’

Hermione closed her mouth and looked at the group, before she looked directly at Bones.

“Why do they call you ‘Bones’?” Hermione asked, making Bones jump.

Bones simply grabbed his glove and pulled it off, revealing the silver bone prosthetic where his left arm used to be.

“It was a real pain as well,” Said Bones, move the silver fingers of his left hand, “I’m left-handed and can barely do anything right.”

Hermione let out an unladylike snort at Bones comment, before he pulled his glove back on. The compartment door opened again, revealing a pale faced boy with a pointed chin and two burley looking boys either side of him. Harry internally groaned.

“So, the rumours are true, Harry Potter is in this carriage.” Said the boy, “My name’s Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, these two are Crabbe and Goyle.”

Ron barely concealed a snort, making Malfoy look at him.

“I don’t to be introduced to know who you are, red hair, hand me down clothes and more children than they would afford. You must be a Weasley, I think you’ll find that some Wizarding families are better than others, Potter, you wouldn’t want to get mixed up with the wrong sort, I can help you there.”

Malfoy held his hand out for Harry to shake, Harry took one look at it and frowned.

“I know who you are.” Said Harry, his voice quiet and ice cold, “The son of a Death Eater who bribed his way out of Azkaban.”

“My father was bewitched.” Said Malfoy, his face sour.

“Ah,” Said Harry, “So he’s weak.”

Malfoy took a threatening step forward with Crabbe and Goyle cracking they’re knuckles, bumping into Hermione.

“Watch where you’re going.” Hermione snapped, glaring up at him.

“Who are you?” Malfoy sneered, looking down at her.

“My name’s Hermione Granger.” Said Hermione, her tone becoming polite.

“Oh,” Said Malfoy, “So you’re a Mudblood.”

Harry jumped to his feet, pointed his wand at Malfoy and yelled “Expelliarmus!”

The spell hit Malfoy in the chest and sent him tumbling out of the compartment. Bones jumped up and pointed his wand at Crabbe, while Harry did the same to Goyle, both speaking simultaneously, “Flipendo!” The two boys fell back and landed on Malfoy.

Malfoy looked up as Harry walked over to the compartment door. Harry looked down at Malfoy and said, coldly, “I think I can judge the right sort for myself thanks.” And with that, Harry slammed the door.

“What a dickhead.” Said Bones, after a moment had passed.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Said Hermione, her voice tight, “You could’ve gotten in trouble.”

Harry looked at her, “Hermione,” Harry began, “Do you know what ‘Mudblood’ means?”

Hermione quietly shook her head.

“It’s a term for Witches and Wizards whose parents are Muggles.” Said Bones, “There are some families that believe that only those of ‘Pure’ blood should study Magic. A large amount of Voldemort’s victims was either Muggle-born or those who sided with the Muggle-borns.”

Hermione was quiet, making Harry groan.

“It’s the Wizarding equivalent of the N-word.” Said Harry, bluntly, “Who’s going to stand outside while we change?”

Bones and Neville stood outside of the compartment with Hermione, so Ron and Harry could change.

“I don’t get why you’re being so nice to her, Harry.” Said Ron, as he pulled his robes on, “She was trying to boss us about.”

“Yeah, and how much of that is down to her not having many friends?” Harry asked, “For all we know, she hasn’t made any friends before and she doesn’t know that what could be her normal conversation voice is her sounding bossy.”

Harry squinted at Ron, “You’ve still got dirt on your nose.”

Harry and Ron swapped places with Bones and Neville and stood silently with Hermione, who was looking down at her feet.

Harry internally groaned, “You heard everything that we said, didn’t you?”

Hermione quietly nodded, Harry thought he saw tears brimming in her eyes.

“Do you,” Hermione swallowed, “Do you really think I’m bossy?”

“You’re tone when talking could use some work, but can I ask you something?” Said Harry, “Before today, how many friends did you have?”

Hermione let out a small whimper, which confirmed Harry’s thoughts.

“You’re probably just trying to make friends with as many people as you can, but you don’t know how to actually approach them and hold a conversation with them.” Said Harry, before Ron butted in.

“I don’t know, I think she get on swimmingly with Percy.” Harry shot Ron a glare.

“Tell you what, why don’t you sit with us when we go to the Castle?” Said Harry, making Ron look at him.

“Really?” Said Hermione, her voice small.

“Yeah,” Said Harry, “My mum said I at least need one female friend who’ll keep me on my toes.”

Hermione gave a small giggle, before she spotted a Fat blonde haired boy stomping up to them.

“Oh no,” Hermione whimpered, “not him.”

“If I’d known Bugs Bunny was going to be here, I’d’ve come found you sooner.” Sneered Dudley, as Hermione tried to hide behind Harry and Ron.

“Dudley,” Said Harry, his voice cold, “The circus let you out of your cage? I don’t know why they did that; they’re losing money.”

Dudley turned red and looked at Harry, before he paled and started to walk away.

“Oh, don’t run away!” Harry called, “We were having such a lovely conversation.”

Dudley disappeared, before Harry muttered “Prick.”

Hermione looked at Harry with something that could only be described as awe.

“You know that walking pig?” Harry asked, as Hermione straightened up.

“He bullied me in my last school, my parents had to move because he kept hitting me.” Said Hermione, “How do you know him?”

“He’s my cousin, I actually forgot he existed.” Said Harry, making Hermione giggle.

Harry turned and looked in the compartment window, before jumping when he saw Bones’ face pressed against the glass.

“Don’t,” Harry gasped, “do that.”

Bones just gave Harry a grin before pulling the door open.

“If we’re quick, we can have a quick card game before we arrive.” Said Bones, as the train pulled into the station.

“Or, we can get off the train.” Dead-panned Harry, walking out of the compartment, “Come on, Hagrid’s waiting.”

Bones looked at Harry’s back as he walked away, “No, Harry.”

Harry spun on his heel and walked in the other direction.

“Harry, aren’t you forgetting something?” Hermione asked, making Harry look down.

“Shoes.” Said Harry, getting a nod from Hermione.

Harry quickly shoved his shoes on and raced off the train.

“You get used to him eventually.” Said Bones, looking at Hermione, “He’s all serious and mature one minute and then completely childish the next.”

“Isn’t being serious a good thing?” Asked Hermione, as they walked to Hagrid.

Bones made a non-committal noise, “Maybe, but it’s like dealing with two different people.”

Hermione nodded, before getting into a boat with Harry, Ron and Neville.

“See you guys there.” Said Bones, before clambering into a boat, his face falling when he was joined by Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.

“Oh dear.” Said Neville, as Bones’s face twitched.

Thankfully, they made it to the castle without incident, or at least they thought they did until they realised that Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle had mysteriously fallen into the water, all babbling about a tentacle.

Hagrid knocked on the door to the castle.

[virgo-mess]

Kidnapper for Hire

Chapter Two pt 2

This may have been sitting in my word doc for some odd months now.... I may have kind of forgot it existed but uh, hey at least this chapter is complete... right? Even though it's criminally short, I'll quote the first half just so you know where we're at in this story! I'm really sorry I've been so inconsistent with my updates the two-week vacation definitely helped me sort out my thoughts. I may start doing this thing where any story can be updated at any time... which sounds incredibly chaotic but that's sort of where I'm at creatively right now. It's annoying as someone who enjoys being organized and productive, but I don't have that in me right now. I appreciate all the kind notes you guys sent on my last post ❤️. I've just been in a weird spot mentally lately; I'm hoping smaller updates more frequently will help. Hope you all enjoy even if it isn't much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

TW: Mentions of murder, Reader is being held hostage, police corruption, Cash is sending mixed signals, but I think he's genuinely as confused as reader is, and I guess you could say the kiss boarders on dub con in this situation given the circumstances.

Kidnapper for Hire Chapter Two: Officer Giraffe

“Why don’t you lay your head on my lap, so you don’t hurt your neck, princess…” he said softly, looking at you expectantly with a soft smile gracing his lips. You glance at him apprehensively, pondering his suggestion with wide weary eyes...

“You look worn out, princess. Come on, it’s okay” he coaxed in a low almost seductive tone as he wrapped a strong arm around your waist, stroking your exposed navel with delicate calloused fingertips. You inhale sharply, feeling a shiver run down your spine at Cash brazenly tantalizing one of your erogenous zones with overtly lustful blue eyes.

“Come on Y/N, lay down for me” Cash coaxed again, the traffic light has gone through its color cycle about three times at this point illuminating the side of his face in soft colorful hues of yellow, red, and green. You sigh, ignoring your wave of arousal and the thick layer of sexual tension hanging in the air, you hesitantly sprawl across the truck bench seats and lay your head upon his muscular right thigh. It’s not like you really have a choice given your present circumstances though the thought of pushing his buttons was incredibly tempting to you right now.

“Good girl” he praised softly, still stroking your navel with gentle calloused fingertips, you find yourself clamping your thighs together to ease some of the pulsing throbs radiating through your clit as you stare up at him with rosy cheeks. “Now close your eyes, princess” he cooed with a smug, satisfied smirk on his face. You can’t help but roll your eyes as you glare up at him intensely, you begin to consider that his mock reluctance to hand you over was purely sexually motivated, you take this as confirmation that all the promises he just made were lies. You slap the back of his hand harder than necessary, scowling up at him through the dim lighting. Cash let out a deep sigh, staring down at you with a hard expression, you swear you see a hint of dejection flood through his eyes before he reluctantly moves his hand off of your stomach to grip the steering wheel.

“You hit me again and I’ll cuff those pretty little hands of yours right now instead of waiting until we get to where we’re going, sweetheart. Now go to sleep or the blindfold is going back on too” he snapped louder than necessary, your scowl vanishes almost immediately, and you find yourself repressing a whimper, feeling another shiver runs down your spine. Cash’s expression softens a bit, and you know your attempt to muffle your fearful whimper was unsuccessful.

“You’re awfully demanding, officer giraffe” you grumbled, turning your head to face the steering wheel, red faced and flustered by the frequent shifts in his demeanor. You know he’s just trying to beguile you into believing his fake promises to prevent the looming threats against your presently undesirable, semblance of a life from playing out. Still, you can’t help how your body almost instinctively relaxes against him or the way your eyelids grow heavier and heavier until eventually you can’t keep them open anymore. You close your eyes and listen to the way the truck tires roll over the pavement and the way your kidnapper cop breaths in and out above you. You hear him say something to you in a tone that’s so soft you think your brain must have made it up in that place between sleep and awake, the one Tinkerbell told Peter Pan about in those fleeting days of your youth.

“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am”

Cash’s POV

            Cash let out a long sigh as he watched your chest rise and fall delicately with the passing of another golden hued streetlamp. The soft rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance just over the sound of his truck tires rolling over the same stretch of pavement for about the fifteenth time in the last forty minutes or so. Though he’d been sure you were fast asleep a good twenty minutes ago, he had to be sure you couldn’t tell where he was taking you for your sake… and his. He had taken it upon himself to abandon the rental property in Atlantic City James Green had been most generous enough to gift him for your safe keeping over the next few weeks. Of course, Cash would have to find a way to explain away his sudden change of plans, but it seemed James didn’t care where or how he got you just as long as he got the job done. The why for all this was still a total mystery to him. The little conversation he had shared with you over the last few hours, a doe eyed beauty, all but solidified that nagging voice in the back of his head declaring your innocence in this imposing situation with one James Green. With it came that subtle feeling of guilt twisting in the deepest pits of his stomach which only seemed to worsen every time his cold blue eyes settled on your mess of curls sprawled out upon his lap.

            Another sigh escapes Cash’s lips as he pulls down a winding secluded driveway. His fingers leave your soft tendrils for the first time since you’d drifted off to sleep but assure himself it doesn’t mean anything as he pulls into a spacious three car garage. He throws the car in the park, turns the key in the ignition, letting the rumbling engine die down. The faint sound of rippling salt water and your soft shallow breaths fill the small stretch of silence as Cash takes a moment to sit with his thoughts. The dim glow of the overhead motion light pours through his tinted windows, and he finds himself just staring at you. The same way he had stared at you asleep through your small cottage window these last few weeks, silently observing you in all your anxious nighttime ruminations. You for once appeared more at peace asleep in your kidnapper’s lap than you had every night, he’d seen you curled up in your own bed. Cash had always thought the thin sheen of glittering sweat beading down your flushed skin was a symptom of the lack of air flow in your tiny cottage. Of course, now, he knew better, he’d witnessed all the tossing, all the turning, and all the under-eye bags though forced himself to think nothing of it for as long as he could.  “The prospect of a big pay day was far too great to pass up even for a pretty ingenue like you.”

Cash repeats this phrase in his head like a mantra when he finds it in him to push the truck door open and scoop your small frame into his arms. He treads up a few steps into a beach house foyer, through the living room and up the stairs to the lush master bedroom overlooking the ocean (so you can't tell where you are even if you wanted to). The words reel in his mind again as sets you the plush bed in the middle the room he'd set up for you earlier that week. One long, lone silver chain is already clasped securely to one of the canopy bed posts. Already meticulously measured out to reach the master bath off to the right, he fastens it to one of your ankles gently. Cash recons he could keep you here forever just like this if he so wished it.... and boy did he wish it...

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

20, 40, 41 surtr/gg ;)

Yeah, MY GIRLS!!! Thank you for requesting them~!

20. "Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship." I Am Not Alone by Steam Powered Giraffe (the original version, sung by Upgrade!) Both of them were so alone, unsure of who they could be and the full depth of their powers! Both of them holding themselves back from the world...until they meet each other and realize they can actually rely on each other. They might be lost in their lives, but they can be lost together! And that helps both of them open up and come into their own...though they both feel most at peace with each other.

40. "Who has an insatiable appetite? And what does the other do to help?" Depends on how one defines appetite...because these gals have both held themselves back from a lot. In a way, they're both encouraging each other to explore and try things more. Right now it's babysteps, but... Of the two, I feel like Surtr is probably the more insatiable one? An all-consuming inferno, and one who can push her body so much farther than anyone else. Goldenglow helps her keep a handle on things, when it's safe to let go and when she needs to dial it back a notch.

41. "Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?" Goldenglow with Surtr. Not that Surtr gets cold often, but she's very good at missing signal cues from her own body that sharp-eyed Goldenglow pays attention to. Half the time, the jacket is placed on her shoulders so gently that Surtr doesn't even realize it's there for a good long while...and which point she immediately gets flustered.

Thanks for sending me these questions! Full list here for more OTP asks!

[reshaepocan]

► Unzipping their clothes free and kissing their neck. S'nako and Isarmoix

Isarmoix was all bundled up in a thick jacket and scarf pulled over the lower half of his face. Sitting on a bench up in The Pillars   despite the chilly weather. It wasn't like he wasn't use to the climate, and he wanted to enjoy some fresh air while reading a few pages of his book.

Flipping over the page, he didn't even get through the next sentence before he felt a tug at his scarf. Looking over his shoulder, S'nako was behind him with that playful smirk. His cheeks turned red as he felt her lips against the back of his neck where his scarf was pulled loose. He looked at her with a flustered expression.

"I-I don't think this is the place for such affections, my dear." He spoke, not one that was very comfortable with showing affection out in public. He got flustered about it too easily.

"I don't see why not." S'nako responded with a smile, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Is there something you need... or want?"

Acts of Affection [Closed] | Thank you for the ask, @miqofluff!

[heartspiked]

smitten with you | mike wheeler

mike stood in the school's parking lot scratching his nose in an attempt to mask his annoyance. his friends had definitely stricken his last nerve as he waited patiently for the three idiots to finish their little snowball fight he did not want to be included in. as he stared at what little greenery there was left he noticed footsteps crunching closer and closer to him. he was relieved that he could finally get out of the cold. his eyes followed dustin as dashed right past him. just as he was about to speak his face was met by a stinging icy cold snowball that burned his eyes.

as mike blinked furiously he could hear the sound of loud laughter that felt embarrassing and he became flustered. his large fingers scooped up a giant snowball. “who threw that one?” all his friends stepped forward to reveal the culprit, the bookish and often sought-after girl. his cheeks became noticeably red to all including you. you held your hands behind your back in a mischievous way, this was a side of you mike never thought he would get to see.

the anger that mike previously possessed disappeared into thin air and his frown quickly grew into a smile. max elbowed dustin and doubled over in laughter, nearly tearing up,” his smile oh my god im scared.” mike ignored the redhead who had been bugging him ever since they met and set his gaze on you. his body language was much more playful now,” put your hands up and surrender.”

after an intense snowball battle that was sexually charged (mostly on mikes part) you found yourselves swinging side by side on the abandoned swingset you crossed your legs and held onto the cold chain. mike right next to you smiling like an idiot, on the inside of course. you hummed contently and swayed in the silence. your hands nearly numb as you watched the sun set so early. “a milkshake would be so good right now.” mikes ears quickly perked up,” we were actually thinking of going out to eat.. i know a great place if you want to come..” his words spilled like vomit. so desperate to meet your every demand even though it was odd to want a cold drink on such a freezing day.

your eyes lit up and your perfect lashes looked so much longer when your eyes crinkled into the cheery little smile you only gave when you checked out a new book from the library. (he knows you’re a sucker for teen romance and horror novels) you stand up from the cold swingset and make your way to the only path that was shoveled. “we better start walking if we’re going to make it before the sun sets.” your dainty hands fumbling with your coat buttons. your back towards him as you raised your leg warmers, your skirt hiking up to reveal your lack of underwear beneath your black see through tights. weren’t you cold?

giving michael an interesting view. “w-walk? i have a car.. it's the black one..” he quickly turned away he felt almost guilty to have caught a glance at your vulnerable area. his car was one of the only ones in the lot. you gasped in excitement,” no way.. i’ll race you there!” mike was taken by surprise as he found himself chasing you and winning by a longshot. you pouted and argued the only reason he won was because he had the legs of a giraffe and to which he denied insisting you were just short. with his car full he drove to the dinner that he’d never been to. (he may or may not have overheard his dad saying how he used to frequent the place as a teen... but he’s old as hell so how reliable could his opinion be?)

mike had an awfully hard time driving and it wasn't because dustin whined about not getting shotgun and you stupidly agreeing to swap places with him. mike stared at the rearview mirror every couple of seconds to ‘sneak’ glances at you. he felt his pants tighten as he watched you reapply your lip gloss in your compact mirror and take a glance at him back through the mirror for a split second. he nearly let go of the wheel. your perfectly plump lips forming a beautiful “o” he had only seen in his wettest dreams. his grip on the wheel tightened as he clenched his jaw. his knuckles white and burning. (if they can get any whiter lol)

in the diner, you ordered the group a booth, and mike immediately excused himself to use the bathroom in order to relief himself (in more ways that one) . mike couldn’t have gotten to the bathroom sooner he stared at his jeans in the mirror, they were so obviously stained. he figured he could play it off as a stain from the snow or a spot that hadn’t dried yet. his erection was too painful to ignore any longer and he had prepared himself for an all-time low. he locked himself in the large stall and practically ripped his jeans off and began stroking himself to the thought of you. the sight of your bare ass looking so good in your tights and your lips that he wanted to bite and leave scarring. he started stroking himself faster.

footsteps made their way to the bathroom as he tried his best to quietly get himself off to the girl that was only fifty feet away and that seemed so untouchable. the footsteps stopped in front of his stall and knocked loudly, “um it’s fucking busy! there are lots of mmm.. other stalls! fuckkk…” he whined and yelled simultaneously. the footsteps treaded away and he sighed in relief as he came all over himself. he panted and stood with his shaft out still clutching onto it, imagining it was you. your face burned into his head. he heard footsteps again but decided not to worry he was done.

the sound of a camera flashing above him scared him and he tucked himself back into his jeans and looked up to see you shaking the poloraoid. “w-what are you doing, (name)!” you gave him a sweet smile,” it’s so pretty and pink michael where have you been hiding him?”

tbc maybe 🧑🏽‍🚀 as always never edited but i’m gonna go back and redo my fics lmk if u liked this one !

[avatarmerida]

Something about the 6min clip of season 3 👀👀

ONE WEEK!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE???? I’m assuming this was a prompt because it prompted me because you know I’m manifesting Huntlow content 👀

———

Willow was obsessed with the camera Camila had given her. With their scrolls not functioning in the human realm, Willow wanted a way to show her dads everything they had been up to when they were finally reunited. So Camila had dug her husband’s old camera out of storage to give her the chance.

“It’s pretty old,” Camila said as she blew the dust off. “Nowadays, everything is fast and digital but I think vintage is making a comeback. I’m surprised to still works but it’s all yours mija.” Camila had said. Willow held the little black box like it was her greatest treasure and proceeded to bring it everywhere.

The adjustment had its ups and downs. It seemed that just when they felt one way, something turned everything around. When they’d be enjoying themselves at the mall, laughing and trying human food they’d remember their families on the Isles and feel guilty. When they were in the middle of worrying and feeling like things were hopeless, Gus would find something else amazing about the human world that would distract them and inspire them to try again. It was as though there was no right way to feel so they had no choice but to feel everything.

This was a chance that may never come again, they didnt know how things would play out. So they had to make the best of it and she wanted to remember it. Every part of it.

“The photos are in!” she announced as she entered the living room. Even thought the photos printed automatically, Willow liked to save them to show everyone when they were together so when she entered, everyone jumped from where they were sitting and crowded around Willow as she placed the envelope on the kitchen table. This had become their weekly routine, reliving the week through Willow’s lens, commenting on the moments she captured and picking their favorites.

“Oh, look! Here’s one of me when I got stuck inside the claw machine!” Said Gus, picking up the photo with glee. In the photo he was indeed hugging a giraffe plush that now rested beside his pillow. Camila was seen beside the machine, looking concerned and trying to figure out how to get him out. The claw hadn’t been able to grab the long neck and Gus decided to take matters into his own hands.

“And there’s the fireman cutting you out,” said Vee fondly.

“And there’s security escorting you off property and banning you from the store,” said Hunter.

“Aw, Eda would be so proud.” Luz said, wiping away a tear.

“Oh! Here’s me and Luz before we went on our first human realm date!” squealed Amity, admiring the photo. They were by the door preparing the leave and Willow had caught the moment when Luz had whispered something to Amity and she had thrown her head back laughing as Luz helped her put her coat on.

“Oh! So cute! That’s going on the fridge for sure!” Exclaimed Luz, holding the photo to her heart.

A few of the photos were posed, but most of them were candid action shots. Willow had a gift for spotting the perfect moment.

“Willow, why are so many of these of Hunter?” asked Amity, raising her eyebrow as she flipped through the stack.

“What do you mean? There’s pictures of everyone.” said Willow, confused.

“Yeah, but percentage wise they are mostly Hunter,” laughed Amity. “Look, here’s Hunter in your garden, here’s Hunter showing off his haircut, Hunter reading, Hunter putting away groceries, Hunter... watching a sunset?”

“I guess I spend a lot of time with Hunter,” Willow shrugged, not seeing the issue as Hunter attempted to hide his bright blush her words summoned.

“Yeah, you could open a Hunter gallery with all these,” teased Gus with a whistle. “I didn’t know you were so photogenic dude.”

“The Captain is simply a gifted photographer,” said Hunter, clearly flustered by the proof her attention. “She takes good photos of everything. I mean, here’s a stunning photo of the orchid she grew in the flower box outside, she found the perfect lighting even in the rain!”

“I can see you in the reflection of the window holding the umbrella over her,” said Gus, squinting at the image. He smiled at how happy he looked to be with her, helping her.

“Well I... didn’t want the camera to get wet,” he muttered as he pulled a photo from the pile of him and Flapjack, the Palisman sleeping happily atop his head as a Hunter wore a silly expression Willow had prompted him to make. He smiled at the memory of the day, as though the photo brought it back to life.

“He’s been smiling more,” said Willow plainly, looking at her photos. “It’s nice. I wanna remember it.”

“He’s been smiling more because you spend so much time with him,” said Gus quietly just to her.

“Well maybe that’s why I keep doing it,” she whispered back, wearing a smile of her own as she admired a photo of Hunter covered in mud as Vee and Gus sat on the ground, laughing beside him. In the background, Luz and Amity swayed in the rain. The photo was a little blurry and the exposure wasn’t great, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

———

Willow kept all the photos in a photo album for safe keeping, like a little comic documenting their time here. As she added the newest photos to the album, she noted that they were mostly of Hunter. She did want to gather evidence of his smile, but maybe the camera was a tiny excuse to explain why else she looked at him so much.

The others had gone back to their usual activities as she sat at the table admiring her work and writing the dates they were taken in the white portion on the bottom.

“You don’t have to keep wasting so much film on me,” a voice said sheepishly from the doorway. Willow looked up and saw Hunter leaning against the doorframe.

“I’m not wasting anything, “ she countered, motioning for him to sit beside her. “I like having picture of my friends to remind of good times when I’m sad. Look, I love this picture if you and Gus eating ice cream, you were so nice to give him yours when he dropped his. I might not have remembered it without a photo.”

She knew that was a lie as she passed him the picture of sitting beside Gus on the bench and handing him his cone. There was no way she’d ever forget how soft his voice got when he said “here” and gave his shoulders a squeeze as he proceeded to clean up the fallen treat. The way he didn’t think twice about helping Gus made Willow’s heart flip, how helping him was second nature. Willow knew Hunter didn’t think twice about this kind of thing, and didn’t do them for praise which is why it’s memory mattered even more.

“It reminds me how lucky I am to have such kind people in my life,” she said, but Hunter didn’t seem too convinced.

“It’s just that...I know that your families on the Isles wil appreciate the pictures to see what they’ve missed while you were away but... there’s no one who would want to have my picture.”

“What about Darius?”

“He... maybe,” Hunter admitted. “But even then he’d maybe want one or two at most, I’m sure mostly to criticize what I’m wearing. I don’t think he’d approve of my chosen human fashion.”

“Well then I’ll keep them.” she said simply.

“You? W-Why would you want p-pictures of m-me?”

“Because they’re nice pictures, why wouldn’t I want to keep them?” Willow laughed. “I like spending time with you and I like having these pictures to remember the time we spend together. Even though being here can be hard and scary sometimes, you’re always there when I need you. You make me laugh and you care about me and you’re sweet... but if you don’t want me to take your picture, I can stop-.”

“No! No, it’s not that at all,” he chuckled nervously. “I... don’t mind. You really are a great photographer so it’s a honor to be photographed by you.”

She laughed and brought her camera to her eye and snapped at photo of him, his chin resting on his fist as he stared at her with wide dopey eyes.

“Plus, I’m documenting the disappearance of the bags under your eyes,” she added playfully. “You can see the longer we’ve been here, the most rested you look. I think it’s important to commemorate , because you’re important to me.”

“Well... then,” said Hunter, reaching for the camera. “There’s one important thing you’re missing.” He mimicked her motions and snapped a picture of her. Af first she looked at him with confusion, the photo captured her looking up with bright, wide eyes. The second one she smiled for and titled her head. Hunter blushed from behind the camera, attempting not to go too crazy taking photos of Willow. “When you have enough for your dads... I’d like to have a photo of you too, if that’s alright.”

“I think we can arrange that,” she smiled smoothing out her braid. “C’mon, let’s take a picture together.”

She walked over to his seat and rested her chin on his shoulder and angled the camera up to take a selfie. She wasn’t sure how to position it, since when she took them on her scroll she could see the photo as it was being taken but now she had no idea if they were in frame. When the photo spit out the front, it was slightly crooked but the image was still risky clear. Willow looked at the camera making a peace sign and a wide smile, while Hunter’s eyes were glued to Willow, his cheeks red but his smile just as wide as hers.

“Uh, here maybe I can try taking it,” offered Hunter, making note to look at the camera this time. “My arm is longer.”

“Oh good idea,” said Willow handing him the camera and getting up to to look through the lens to make sure the angle was right. “Okay, perfect!”

“So I just press the button?” Asked Hunter as Willow took advantage of having her hands free and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, their faces much closer together this time.

“Yup! And then the flash will go off.”

Just as Hunter found the button Willow turned her face and pressed firm kiss against Hunter’s cheek. His eyes widened in surprise, and Willow smiled as she pictured his reaction. She could blame her impulsiveness on the aesthetic the photo demanded. Hunter remained frozen as Willow leaned forward to take the picture from the camera, and shook it gently.

“You know, you’re actually not supposed to shake it, but I’m too impatient,” she whispered to him with a wink. “Aw! Your face looks so cute, I’m definitely gonna frame this one.”

“You look lovely, Captain,” Hunter said lightly, admiring the photo. It reminded him of the picture they had taken with the Emerald Entrails and reminded him how thankful he was to have her in his life. “Do you think, uh, I could have a copy as well?”

“Well it only prints one copy, but we can take another one!” she said cheerily, setting the photo down carefully as she reassumed her position with her arms around him. He lifted the camera again and held his breath as he prepared to take the photo again. Willow tightened her grip and kissed his cheek again, holding the position and waiting for the flash. Dedicated to the art of photography, she was willing to keep her lips pressed against his face as long as it took to increase their chances of a perfect photo. But Hunter was so focused on her choice of pose, that he didn’t have any brain cells left to focus on actually taking the picture.

But something told him he wouldn’t need a photo to remember this moment forever.

[monstrousvoice]

Heyo! If you don’t write for Heket then please just ignore this one buuut…

What about nsfw Heket with an AFAB follower? I’m just saying, the opportunities with her tongues, power dynamic and size differences are right there 👀

Say she has a consort that gets easily flustered by how intimidating she can be to her other followers and her general grandiose, and she can absolutely tell.

And maybe she pulls them aside when she has a moment of peace to get a better look and taste of them.

Obedience is it's Own Reward

A/N: First off, I am so so sorry that it took so long to get this out! I had a crazy past month and writing had to be put on the back burner a teeny bit. But I finally finished this and I hope its what you wanted boo!

Fandom: Cult of the Lamb

Relationship: Bishop Heket X AFAB Reader

Tags: Smut, PWP, Oral Sex, Power Dynamics, Size Difference, Gag, Clothing used as a Gag, Slight Exhibitionism, Semi-Public Sex

Read on AO3!

Bishop Heket is truly a sight to behold. She towered over the subjects of Anura with nobility and confidence that left you awe-struck and reeling. You will never understand what you did to not only be graced with her presence, but to be invited to her bed on a near daily occurrence. 

All you were truly even aware of was that your Lord Bishop fancied you to some degree, and you couldn’t be happier. She stood tall and proud next to you, beautiful as ever, with an air of intimidation as she worked. With the season coming to an end the last crop had been harvested and brought to the temple. It was your Mistresses duty to inspect everything before it was shipped off to her sibling’s respective realms.

Lord Heket would never let her siblings be served anything less than pristine. She was so caring and sweet like that… “I don’t care, just get it done. However you have to .” She ordered, the giraffe follower before you both giving a hasty bow before scurrying off tail between their legs. After their departure her four red eyes caught you staring, a glimmer of amusement twinkling within.

“And what is it that has your attention so captivated my little firefly?” Dangerous teeth peaked from her grin as she lowered down closer to your smaller form. Embarrassed at being caught, you ducked your head and shifted from foot to foot.

“I…I apologize Mistress, I was just-it’s very p-pleasing to watch you work…” Her eyes narrow in response as her grin grows ever wider. A long, delicate claw comes close to lift your chin.

“Oh really pet? Hmhm, you are adorable when you get like this…So flustered and shy just because I asked you a question.” She purrs. Your hands grasp the cloth of your robe as you whimper at her teasing. 

“I just…enjoy the way you command so effortlessly…” “Oh? My commands you say?” Your eyes widen as you register how your own words sound.

“I-I mean-!” 

“Hush firefly.”

Your jaw snaps shut with a click. The claw under your chin traces ever so slowly along your cheek and down your throat as she hums.

“Such obedience…It should be rewarded I believe. Come.” She pulls away from you and stands to her full height, towering above you. With her usual grace and dominance she turns and leads you away from the various followers still working around you.

You…you had forgotten they were even there…

You try your best to hide your flustered face and ignore the knowing grins other followers give as you pass. It’s easier in the crowded hallways of the temple, followers parting for your beloved Mistress with no hesitation. Your mind is fixated on her words, the feeling of her stare burning you inside and out as she leaned in so close…

A reward, she had promised. The possibilities had your heart fluttering and heat pooling your lower tummy. You’re so lost in your lewd fantasies that the nudge in your side almost makes you stumble.

“H-huh?” You crane your neck up to meet four scarlet eyes staring down at you, hooded with lustful promise. You turn your gaze to the side to see a door being propped open by her hand, and realize she’s waiting for you to step through. You quickly do so, finding yourself in a temple storage room. 

A deafening ‘ thud ’ of the door behind you seals your fate.

Before you can even open your mouth to speak, Mistress Heket has her hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, pulling you into her warm chest. A claw tilts your head up again, but this time you’re met with a fat pink tongue pushing against your lips.

The surprise gasp you give is the opportunity it needs to squeeze inside and fill your wet and willing mouth. A groan leaves you as your eyes fall shut in pleasure. Dutifully you begin suckling the tender flesh pushing against the back of your throat. You feel your Mistresses gaze burning into you as she suddenly starts moving.

A sudden pressure is against your plush ass, and the part of your brain that has yet to turn to mush registers it as a supply box for you to sit on. This frees up Heket’s webbed hands so they can wander over your flesh sending sparks though the sensitive nerves along your body. 

Her claws are relentless in their teasing as she deepthroats you with her tongue - sides are caressed, breasts squeezed and nipples pulled, the only barrier being your flimsy robe. Her tongue suddenly leaves you with a ‘ slurp ’, and you gasp and gulp fresh air while you have the chance. One of your shaking hands lifts to wipe the drool collected on your chin as you meet Heket’s eyes.

“ Look at you… So beautiful and all mine to taste ~” She hisses, fangs bared in a four-way grin.

“ P-please- ” Is the pitiful response you give. 

It’s enough, Heket’s eyes lower towards your hips, where her claws slip under the hem of your robe and push the cloth up and away.

“Hold this up for me, pet.” She commands - and you obey.

You hold your robe bunched up under your armpits, the expanse of your tits and tummy on display for her roaming gaze. This isn’t your Mistresses goal however, as she only gives your breasts a quick squeeze before her hands land once more on your hips.

“ Open. ”

You suck in a harsh breath but do as ordered, parting your legs for her.

“Good girl. Such a perfect, good pet for me~” She praises you as her thumbs hook into the bands of your underwear and gently, slowly , pulls them down your legs. You turn your face away and squeeze your eyes shut as your leaking pussy is put on display for her. You feel your opening flutter under her gaze.

“P-please don’t-don’t look-” You whimper in embarrassment. 

“ Don’t look? Why dewdrop, why would I ever not? Such an adorable cunt should be savored, should be worshiped~ ” You mewl and wiggle in her hold, her words making your already hot blood burn all the warmer.

You peek an eye open at her chuckling to see her staring right at you, at the opening between your thighs with such hunger… One of her top eyes catches your gaze and quickly all four are pinned to yours. 

“While I do find your shyness adorable, I am not cruel. Wouldn’t you agree?” 

You give a tentative nod. What is she…?

“‘I’ll end your suffering sweet flower…by fucking you with my tongue till you can’t even remember your own name, much less any embarrassment~” You open your mouth to respond - to say what, you don’t know and never will because her tongue is on you. 

The noise you make is not one you think you’ve ever made before, and your Mistress laughs deep in her chest. Her tongue is pressing right against your folds, pressure against your opening and clit all in one stroke. With every swipe up more wetness is left behind, a combination of her own slick spit and cum leaking from your pulsing cunt.

You can only sit there and throw your head back as you cry out, your hands balling into fists around the cloth you still dutifully hold.

Suddenly she stops, and your head jerks down to her again, confusion all over your flustered face.

“Ah ah, pet. Can’t have you making so much noise. Don’t want anyone to see you like this , after all…”

Mortified, you realize she’s right, but your mind is too jumbled to think of a solution. Heket has one for you already you learn, as one hand leaves your bruised up hip. Suddenly cloth is pressing against your lips, and you belatedly realize…

It’s your own underwear.

Your wide eyes dart to hers, to the cloth, and back again to her. Heket simply smiles and raises two questioning eyebrows in unison. A whimper escapes your throat as you open your mouth and ever so gently, bite down on your own underwear.

Heket gives a ‘ tsk ’ and pushes the cloth roughly past your lips, her fingers pushing it down against your tongue and securing it deep in place.

Your pussy clenches hardand your hips buck, letting Mistress know exactly how much you enjoy such treatment. She rewards your enthusiastic response by putting her tongue back between your shaking thighs. Your keen of pleasure is muffled by your new gag, and your hips give another hard buck against her tongue.

“Okay firefly, I understand.” She growls, licking her lips. “I won’t tease you any longer.”

With those words the fat head of her tongue is pressing harder against your gushing opening, wiggling and spreading the tight muscles open. Her tongue slips inside with a wet, audible ‘ squelch ’ that has you gasping and arching your back. 

Your Mistress doesn't give you time to adjust, her tongue pushing deeper into your tight cunny, touching the opening of your womb in the most lewd kiss of your life. Your shaking thighs are desperately trying to close, to gain some relief from the onslaught of pleasure you feel as her tongue moves inside you, but Heket stops you.

Her hands migrate from your hips to wrapping around your thighs, holding the weak limbs open with no effort. She’s purring as she pulls her tongue out only to thrust back in, her grin best described as ‘blissfully smug’ as she makes you lose your mind. Thrusting in and out of your fluttering cunt over and over. 

You feel your release coiling low in your belly, right where Heket’s continues to press against your womb as you cry and moan against your gag. It snaps with a flourish, your hips lifting high off the box you sit on as you pull against the cloth you still hold. The seams of your robe strain against your pull as you cum hard on your Mistresses tongue.

She doesn’t pull it out of your spasming pussy, instead pushing it deep and staying there, wiggling the flexible muscle against your gummy walls. One hand moves from your thigh to rest at the top of your mound, her thumb idly starts rubbing your clit, and the scream you let out was sure to be heard by everyone despite your gag.

She keeps this up until your body falls limp from orgasm, your upper body falling back onto your box perch as your legs limply lay on Heket’s broad shoulders. She finally ends your overstimulating torment and pulls away. She gives a few last licks with her tongue to clean you up before once more staring at your still twitching opening. Her two thumbs hook into your lips and gently pull, giving her a perfect view of your gaping hole and engorged clit. 

“Ah, such a beautiful sight…look at how puffy and swollen your pretty cunt is~ Makes me want another taste…” She purrs, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss against your sensitive nub. Prompting another soft whimper from you.

“Time for that later I suppose. We really must get back.” 

You make a muffled noise against your gag, unwilling to move after…all that. Heket gives an amused huff and pulls your underwear from your mouth, stuffing the cloth into a pocket on her robe. She gathers you into her arms and tries to make you somewhat presentable as you snuggle into her chest. Her warm fingers comb through your tousled fur to smooth it out as you nestle into her embrace.

Her heart beat is so comforting…

“Rest my firefly, I will wake you if necessary.” Nestled in the crook of her elbow, you close your eyes and drift away.

[poisonouswritings]

M3 + Playing Games

Sometimes a bit of silliness does good for the heart

GN!Reader, fluff

Felix Escellun

Felix likes to pull things from the Void sometimes. That includes things from Earth. As you get better with magic he lets you help out. It's nice. You help him identify whatever he pulls out, and he tries to find familiar things to make you happy.

One day, he pulls out a box that's covered with big bold letters and bright colors. You'd recognize it anywhere.

Twister™

You immediately start opening up the box and setting it up, excitedly explaining the rules to Felix. At first he seems confused. Then a little flustered.

'MC, don't you think someone like Sage might be better suited for this?'

No! >:( Wanna play with the Goth! >:(

You wave his concerns away and finish setting up, then kick off your shoes and motion for him to do the same. He grumbles a bit but unlaces his boots and tucks them neatly under the table.

Stella immediately starts gnawing on his shoes. He tries to swat her away but she just picks one up in her little fangs and runs off.

You let him have the first spin. Left foot red. You go next. Right hand blue.

Left hand yellow.

Right foot green.

Right hand blue

Right hand red

On and on. Felix isn't exactly the most limber of the Starsworn, but he's got a competitive spirit so he won't be beaten down so easily!

Ooh you are all pressed up against him though and he's having a hard time focusing

Left foot yellow. You have to slide your leg between both of his. You're trying really hard not to laugh at how even the tips of his ears are pink

Right hand blue. His cheek is mushed against your thigh.

Left hand gr-

Felix yelps and loses balance. He flails to try and catch himself and ends up knocking you down too. With a big whoomf! you both wind up on the floor, you on top of Felix.

',,,,,o,,,,w,,,,,,,,'

Honestly he's not complaining about being under you tho

He pouts and blames it on 'his feeble body protesting'

But when you chuckle and kiss his cheek, that definitely brightens his mood

Anisa Anka

You've been trying to teach Anisa about Earth stuff. After all, if she's gonna come to Earth with you someday, she'll need to know what she's dealing with. And she looks so excited whenever you talk about Earth, whenever she learns something new. In fact she even keeps a notebook for her studies and observations. She gets you to draw (or try to draw) whatever the topic is. It's become a nice little field journal.

Point is, Anisa likes learning things about Earth.

So you suggest a memory game. Concentration. It's simple enough. One of you picks a topic and you go back and forth naming things that belong to it. Simple enough. The first thing you teach her is the song. You pick up a nearby rag to toss back and forth in time with your words.

'Con-cen-tra-tion, concentration is the key, keep-the-rhy-thym, keep the rhythm of the beat. Category is-!'

You end up holding the rag. You think about it for a moment before picking something you've been teaching Anisa a lot about; Earth animals. You try to stick to the ones you've told her about. Dog.

'Dolphin!' she chirps happily, her eyes going bright and excited

Alpaca

'Llama'

Giraffe

'Unicorn'

Unicorns aren't,,, she looks so proud of herself. You gotta let her have it.

Cat

And on and on.

The two of you are in an open field near her apartment. Technically you're supposed to be training.

But hey, you are! You're training your mental sharpness. That counts. Doesn't it?

Obviously you have an advantage. Anisa runs out of easy answers pretty fast, and soon she's spending several minutes in near complete silence as she tries to remember another one.

'Um... T...tiger?'

And then you immediately say leopard.

Anisa opens her mouth. Pauses. Closes her mouth.

'I still think dolphins would be the most exquisite,,'

You can't help but laugh at how earnest she sounds about it.

No, Annie, you still can't eat a dolphin.

But you promise to take her to sushi someday, and that makes her happy.

Sage Lesath

You know full and well that Sage cheats at cards. He's decent enough at it, at least when the people he's playing against are drunk. But today you've got something he can't cheat at. It's all for the sake of a bet that you're determined to win.

So you're playing Slapjack

The rules; you split the deck in half. You take turns putting a card down face-up. When the Jack appears, be the first one to slap it. That's it. You'll play until all four jacks are gone.

The two of you are sitting on your bed after a night at the tavern.

'There are plenty of other things we could be doing here ;)' You threaten to spray Sage with water. He snickers, tail flicking against your pillows.

You set down your first card, a two of hearts.

Game start!

The first jack comes on Sage's seventh card. You slap it just a half-second before he does. It's with a mischievous grin that you hold up your hard-won card. Your gloating smile makes him,, a little flustered.

The second jack comes three cards later on your turn, and Sage slaps it down. He uses the edge of the card to softly boop your nose.

It's tied. Anyone can win.

With each card that gets drawn, your focus sharpens a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more.

With each card that gets drawn, Sage snuggles down into your pillows even more, getting his fur all over them. He looks smug about it too.

The third jack comes out of nowhere from your hand. Sage nearly slaps your hand with how fast he claims it.

So 1-2. You have one more chance to win this.

The very next card you play is the fourth jack. You try to slap it but-

Sage lightly grabs your wrist with one hand and uses the other to tap the card.

Cheater! You throw your unused cards at him as he laughs, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezing your hand. Smarmy little bastard.

You lean down and very lightly nip at his wrist. He releases you with a flustered, startled chuckle.

You say that since he cheated, he loses. So now you get to style his hair however you want >:)

If his wagging tail is any indication, he really doesn't mind. So you settle down behind him, remind him not to bite you, and get to work on all the various long hair styles you've researched in your years as a cosplayer, talking to him about them a bit as you go along.

He invites you to pull his hair a little-

[simeonisalesbian]

i am literally on demon sisters brainrot because of you and i am not even mad about it haha my lesbian ass loves them 💞 can i please request some headcanons about the paws and claws event but with the demon sisters?

lesbian demon brainrot is real and it's also fatal😔 (the demon ladies are all my last brain cells can think about lmao)

Lucifer:

She takes full pride in the fact that she as complete control over her animal instincts

However when you mentioned that it was amazing how much control she seems to have compared to her sisters you couldn't help but notice her tail wagging behind her.

She also seemed to quietly growl anytime one her sisters got a bit out of hand

She also had a harder time than usual falling asleep. You joked that maybe she just needed to circle the bed a few times. You didn't get to snuggle that night

You did both figure out that maybe it was just her sensitive hearing keeping her up.

To fix this you kept her head on your chest and softly covered her ears. It was a bit awkward but seemed to do the trick.

Mammon:

did you think she stayed up late before?

Well turns out tigers are nocturnal.

So now you have to deal with her begging you to hang out with her at 3 a.m.

You have to tell her multiple times that you do not want to go swimming right now you just want to go to sleep

she will happily still hang out with you during the day.

Tigers can't purr and that fact alone convinced her she'd be safe from any embarrassing noises

Jokes on her cus tigers chuff instead. Which she quickly found out as you were petting her head.

Leviathan:

Giraffes are weird animals who knows anything about them?

Well you and Levi end up spending quite a bit of time together since your now the only prey creatures in the house

So what a time to learn about giraffes!

for instance those weird horn things are apparently called ossicones and they feel weird

They're just firm cartilage covered in skin. Levi says they're more sensitive than her actual horns.

That being said you should take this chance you fluster her a bunch.

Her tail also ends up slapping you occasionally

Not very often though. Only when your paying attention to one of her sisters instead of her

she swears she can't control it though

Satan:

Shes honestly living her best life. This is practically a dream come true if she's honest

Even if it wasn't on purpose being a cat is amazing, and since she already knew a bunch about cats and their mannerism she adjusted quite quickly

she has already pushed several of Lucifer's mugs off of the table at breakfast proceeding to blame it on her instincts

she does cuddle a bit more than usual. Not much but she really likes it when you scratch behind her ears

She's purring anytime she has physical contact with you. She'll get really flustered if you mention

You also managed to keep her occupied with a laser pointer for hours. Yes she knows she can't catch the red dot but instincts can't be fought that easily Mc.

Asmodeus:

You jokingly called her pooh bear one time and now she's trying to convince you it would be fine if she just walked around in a red crop top

she has pounced on you several times saying she's just giving you a bear hug

you honestly can't see much of an impact on how being a bear affects her honestly

Most bears are omnivores she even her diet didn't change all that much

she honestly just seems her same clingy self but now with bear jokes.

she does ask you to pet he ears a bunch simply because of how soft they are. if would be a shame not to touch them right?

Beelzebub:

shes constantly afraid she's going to hunt and eat you.

she flat out tried to hide in the kitchen just to keep herself occupied on not eating you.

Eventually though you convince her that you trust her enough to not eat you. She still keeps a some meat on hand when she's near you just in case though.

lions can't purr unfortunately. However beel does make up for it by humming when you rub her ears.

She wants you to know it feels really nice after all

Shes also pretty nocturnal but she normally takes midnight trips to the fridge so nothing really changed in that aspect

Belphegor:

if you make one more "what does the fox say" joke she'll punch you.

she has the softest fuckin tail and she's about to make it everyone's problem.

she'll occasionally swat you in the face with it just to see you struggle to not inhale her fur.

it's a really soft pillow though and she's more than happy to let you use it as such while you cuddle

she did manage to make several burrows in her blankets at somepoint and she will hide in them to get more sleep

she'll happily wag her tail whenever you pet her head when she's napping in your lap.

She'll say your crazy if you mention it when she wakes back up

[darkcitiesnluv]

IDOL BEOMGYU X STYLIST READER ( NO RULES Era: comeback show freeze outfits ) PART 2!

Pairing: Beomgyu x Fem Reader

Genre: smut, fluff at the end.

Warning: 18+, swear words.

1st part ⬇️

"lets start this fucking game already...." He groaned as he turns you around and kissed you passionately.

Beomgyu held your face with both hands as you try to reach for his soft long brown locks to pull on them. How much you wanted to pull his hair for the second time. Now you wish he could never cut it. The way Beomgyu kisses you with so much need, with so much hunger, makes you feel butterflies in your stomach again. It makes you feel as if you are very important to him, makes you feel that you two are not just two friends with benefits.

He bit down on your bottom lip making a small moan come out from you. You made eye contact with him and his eyes stare at yours with lust and..... something else but you can't tell what it is, however his gaze turn you on even more so you start to ran your hands around to his clothed body to feel him.

Beomgyu still looking at you, he caressed you as well, his hand on your right cheek going down to your right breast caressing it and squeezing it.

That squeeze made you moan his name and send a pleasurable feeling down to your core. Immediately Beomgyu took off the coat and your white shirt of you leaving you on your Victoria secret bra.

" why do you buy bras from that brand? Their too sexy I can't control myself seeing it on you" He whispered close to you admiring your chest with a sweet smirk. His eyes then looks at you. You chuckled and kiss him passionately as you decided to grab him down there. You palm him through his black pants feeling how hard he was for you. He groaned sexily between the kisses. You smirked and knee down to pull down his pants. Beomgyu look up at the ceiling with a mischievous smile, he knows what you're going to do, something his been dreaming about so many times.

" what a naughty girl you are Y/n~" he cooed softly as hands reach down softly to ran them through your hair. You felt relax when he did so, however you gotta focus on your mission to make him cum real good. You're not that type to stop someone from cumming, because you know how frustrating that is and you wouldn't personally want to go through it either. You're all about making the other person feel happy and specially good, meanwhile.....Beomgyu......his a little devil and loves teasing you soo.....

You put his thick length on your mouth savoring it completely, still rubbing your hands around the part it didn't fit in your pretty mouth. Beomgyu throw his head back and hissed while closing his beautiful big eyes. He was feeling too good.

" ahh~ Y/n~..... you're d-doing...ahh~ so w-well~" He breath out as his breaths started to get heavy and fast. He clutched his fingers on to your hair slightly because of how good he was feeling. You bobbed your head faster and sucked harder almost gagging, but it didn't matter because you want him to feel good.

" oh I'm about to-Ahhj~~" He moan out loud shooting everything down your throat.

" mmm~ baby you taste delicious" you chuckled. You pull up his boxer and pants up. You gave butterfly kisses all over his face down to his neck, helping him catch up his breath.

Beomgyu laughed as he held your face to kiss you passionately and slowly. " Now it's my turn......laid on the table" He order with a quiet serious voice and gaze. He pointed at the empty table that is leaning against the wall.

You got excited and obey. You sat on the table, your legs spread apart from each other still wearing your blue tight jeans and the black bra on. Your hair was down spread all over your shoulders. You gave him a seductive look and bit your bottom lip.

Beomgyu chuckled feeling fluster as he looked away while biting inside his lip. ' She's driving me crazy..' he thought then look back at you, as his black eyes scan your whole body sexily. ' god.... why is she so fucking beautiful....' He slowly walk towards you and stop between your legs. His hands snake around your torso to reach to unclip your bra from the back, leaving soft warm tiny kisses on your neck and shoulder. His fingers tickled behind your back and you held in your moans since your neck, shoulders and back are one of your most sensitive spots of your body.

He slowly takes your bra off and kisses you one more time. He reaches to massage and pinch your breast and nipples. " Ahhh~ oh MY-.... Gyu~ your hands are the best" you complimented between the kiss as he kissed you even harder and reach down to but a breast on his mouth. He sucked on your nipple while still looking at your dirty expressions. He sucked harder.

After he kissed down from your chest down to your stomach, he reach to pull down your pants and underwear. After the whole make out session and touches from his already had you extremely wet. " My baby girl is so eager to have my mouth fucking her....." He said as he puts his mouth and tongue on you. " Mmm~ Gyu, that feels good, go faster please.." You breath out as you held onto his hair already messing it up. Gyu added a finger, then another one, making you feel like your about to explode of pleasure.

" ahh~ yes!! Beomgyu! Yeah~! Ahhh yes- right there!" You screamed reaching your high. " No one does it better than you~!" Once again you complimented him boosting his confidence even more.

" I know..." He chuckled teasing you as he pulled away. You pull him up to you and kiss him passionately, wrapping your arms around his neck and your hands playing with his pretty hair. Gyu chuckled in your kisses and wrapped his arms around your waist. " How can you look soo tiny and innocent yet look so good.... and your good at sex..." You tease studying his handsome face still playing with his hair. " Beomgyu, I love you..." Without thinking you realize what you said and widen your eyes. Beomgyu looked at you with big eyes and a surprised look.

"neukkyeojyeo, nae meorin Daze Daze Daze

jungdoge ppajyeo Replay Play Play"

Suddenly his phone started ringing. You chuckled at the new ring tone he put on his phone. " Sorry babe that song has been stuck in head eb5er since it was released............hello Soobin-"

" WHERE THE FUCKITY ARE YOU! YEONJUN IS LITERALLY CRYING FOR YOU, TAE AND HUENINGKAI ARE PLANNING A HORRIBLE PRANK ON YOU, WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH-"

" Chill out giraffe boy, I'm with my girlfriend...." He smirked as he looked at you. You covered your mouth in shock.

" I'm with her releasing- I MEan reducing our problems! I'll be back in five minutes I promise!"

" YOU HAVE A WHA-" Beomgyu ended the call.

He swept away his imaginary sweat from his forehead and looked at you. " Y/n, I love you too, do you want to be mine?..... I've been crushing on you since the first time i saw you and after all the things you and I went through, I really catch feelings for you....." He said as he caressed your cheeks lovingly.

" Yes, i want to be yours, Beomgyu.... Finally get to have you all to myself my handsome teddy bear!" You hugged him and reach down to smack his butt earning laughs from him. " What are you saying! " He smack your naked butt as well. " Oooh! The felt good!" You tease and laughed.

" hurry up and change baby girl.....Imma go after you're done changing......also....." He said as help you change. " Let's keep this relationship a secret....at least for now......you understand right?...I really don't want my precious moas to know about us and you know what will happen if they do...." He said looking at you seriously and sad.

You smiled at him. " I understand..... we'll keep it a secret until you no longer want it to be ..." You kiss him one more time before letting him go.

He walked away but stop beside the door and look at you. " I know this is too fast but .....I love you..." He waved goodbye and ran away not letting you to tell him you love him back too.

@beomgyutxtmoa here it is!! 💕🔥✨

[sebsbrokentoe]

Supply Closet

masterlist

warnings: nothing, pure fluff, nosy Sam but we love him, nothing else i could think of. all mistakes are mine.

please like and reblog

word count: 1696

“What are you doing?” Sam eyed you curiously at the way you were hiding behind him, seeing as you were the same height as him, it was like a giraffe hiding behind another giraffe. 

“I’m looking for my dignity, can’t you see” You sarcastically replied to him as if it wasn’t obvious you were trying to hide from Bucky. 

You didn’t realise when you had a crush on Bucky, it just developed over the moments you had with each other. You both had gotten close over a few months. It started just as small glances when you passed each other in the hallway but then it became sneaking off in the kitchen talking about anything. Then it became more, you knew he had nightmares, which is why he came at any hour of the night to see you. You, on the other hand, just couldn’t sleep at night, you didn’t have nightmares or anything, you just couldn’t so instead you started to bake or cook whenever you couldn’t sleep. Tony had an unlimited amount of supplies so why not use them. You rarely shared your treats with anyone, so when you started offering them to Bucky and eventually making what he liked, you, along with the rest of the team put the pieces together, well everyone except Bucky. 

You tried to make your flirting obvious but every time you tried to flirt, you’d just make a fool of yourself and he’d laugh. Normally your flirting came naturally, especially with Bucky but you didn’t think he saw it that way. You were fine with things that way, you didn’t want to tell Bucky about your feelings in case you ruined your friendship, so you hid your feelings, horribly.

This time you decided to hide from Bucky because in your idiotic mind if you didn’t see him you wouldn’t have feelings for him. You swore you were smarter than that but not when it comes to Bucky. So now here you are, trying to hide behind Sam and doing a horrible amazing job. 

“Why the hell are you hiding from Barnes?” Sam stopped in the midst of his walk to turn around to talk to you.

“Don’t move he’ll see me, just keep moving and stop looking suspicious” You squatted behind him in case Bucky turned this way. 

“He’ll see us when we walk past him anyway and answer my question, why are you ignoring him?”  Seeing as your disguise wasn’t working, you quickly pulled Sam away in the opposite direction of Bucky, but he saw both of you and quickly misinterpreted the situation.

 Seeing as every time you ignored Bucky you would go to Sam, Bucky thought of the two of you becoming more than friends and he didn’t like how he felt about it. He was just bad at saying what he felt, especially when it came to his feelings for you. Normally he could talk about anything with you but he always felt flustered when it became about what he felt for you because you were special to him. When you came on the team and saw him around the compound, you didn’t hide from him and you weren’t scared of him either. You always greeted him with a smile on your face and since then instead of glaring at everyone who would give him a second glance he would give them a small smile as if your joy rubbed off on him. 

He didn’t even second guess himself when he started to talk to you about his nightmares. Every night, when he couldn’t sleep, he knew he would find you in the kitchen making something and just the sight of you standing in the kitchen with flour all over you was enough for him to calm down from whatever woke him up. So your conversations came naturally, there was no push to talk about anything and if it got awkward, you would quickly talk about something else, while Bucky listened to you. Bucky for the first time in a long time felt peace. Of course, he had Steve, but you were different, you didn’t know anything about him yet it felt like you knew each other for your entire lives. 

So when Bucky saw you heading off with Sam, he didn’t like what he felt. He didn’t want to come to conclusions but you’ve been acting weird lately. You haven’t been baking when he came into the kitchen at night, he never saw you around the common room anymore. He didn’t want to let anyone know, but he was worried, he was worried that he was losing you and he didn’t want to but he wasn’t one for a confrontation so he thought he’d try to forget about it for now. 

You successfully pulled Sam away from anywhere near Bucky and steered him towards a closet, not completely closing the door. To anyone else, it may seem like you were more than friends about to have a hot moment in the supply closet, but it wasn’t anything like that.

“Okay, you need to listen to me and don't interrupt me and I swear to God you better not tell anyone about this, got it?” Maybe you were overreacting but you’d rather not die of humiliation if everyone finds out that you have a crush on Bucky. It didn’t matter if they probably figured it out but both you and Bucky brushed the rumours, with the excuse that you were just friends and for a while you believed it, thinking that Bucky didn’t need to get in a relationship right now, so you never thought of it. But now, after all the time you two spent together, getting closer than others in the compound and the fact that he trusted you to talk about anything, you cherished that and part of you didn’t want to ruin the wonderful friendship you had. 

“Jeez woman alright, I won’t tell a soul that you’re in love with Barnes' “. That smirky ass held his hand up like he was being sworn in, almost laughing at you, but hiding it with a cough. 

“I’m not in love with him” You scoffed at that, even though he was right, but you didn’t want him to be right, because if he is, then if this got out to Bucky, you’ll be screwed and not in a good way.

He raised an eyebrow at your confession, not believing a word you said, but urges you to continue. 

“Okay, maybe I have feelings for him, but I can't let anyone know, especially Bucky. I don’t need my heart broken because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.”. You started to ramble not seeing what signals Sam was giving you, trying to ignore his distractions to continue your rant. 

“Hey um, maybe we should talk another time-” You interrupted him again, not understanding what he was h trying to do. 

“Stop interrupting me, I need to talk to someone about this and while you’re not my first choice, you’re here so shut up and listen” Before Sam could say anything, the door opened wider, with the last person you wanted to see behind it. Staring at Bucky with your mouth slightly opened, not saying a word, Sam slipped out between the two of you, not needed anymore. 

You tried to move but of course, you were having a dumb moment, which you had a lot around Bucky, but usually, you hid it better. Before you could say anything, Bucky closed the door behind him and walked closer to you and suddenly, the room seemed a hell of a lot smaller and jeez was it harm in there. He stopped right in front of you, which made it easy for him to hear your shaky breaths. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You were surprised, thinking Bucky would ask right away about what he heard between you and Sam, but you knew he wouldn’t understand your stupidity. So instead of beating around the bush, you decided to get to the point.

“I’m sorry, I just-, I was just being immature. I thought that I should stay away from you because I thought my feelings would get in the way and make you uncomfortable. I know you don’t like me like that so I didn’t want to tell you to mess up our friendship and I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you recently and I’m-”

Suddenly you were cut off by warm lips and you felt every emotion from that kiss. It was better than you could’ve ever imagined. He pulled back way too soon, showing that special smile that only a few have had the pleasure of seeing. You smiled back, the small curve on your lips turning into a full-on grin. 

“Do you need an explanation for that or do I need to do it again?” He said cheekily while holding your face with his large hands, both of you now laughing at his statement. 

“I don't think I quite got that, you may need to do it a few more times” You giggled again, linking your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to kiss him again, only this time being interrupted by cheering behind the door.

“Fucking finally” You knew that had to be Sam, who probably brought everyone else to see what was going to end up happening. 

“Shut up dickhead” Bucky yelled from your embrace, trying to sound stern, but you saw the small smile on his lips. 

I think we could finish this in the bedroom, don’t you think, I may still need help understanding what you meant” before you could even finish your sentence, you were lifted in the air, your legs latching around his waist, while he tried to get through the herd of ‘supporters’ outside the supply closet. Both of you were laughing, trying to get to the bedroom before someone followed you, knowing that someone definitely would.

“Remind me to tell F.R.I.D.A.Y not to let Sam near our room” You giggled in his neck, nodding slightly as he gripped your thighs more, leaving a small kiss on your temple. 

tags: @especially-obsessed​ | @leyannrae​ | @becca-e-barnes​ 

[yamalegacy]

some headcanons for some of my favourite tiny queens with a tall s/o. should be gn!reader unless i’ve accidentally missed something!

genre: general, fluff

characters: tsuyu, ochaco, mei, mina, mirko

cw: n/a

FROPPY ( asui tsuyu )

she may be a frog, but she will, without a doubt, turn into quite the clingy koala around you, sometimes you’re not sure if you have a girlfriend of a human-sized backpack

when winter comes, tsuyu just hides in your coat, yes, even when you’re already in your coat. anything to keep warm

her height has never been a problem to her, she’s just never minded because whatever her arms can’t reach her tongue can

height doesn’t matter much to her and she’ll act the same around you no matter how tall (or not) you are

if you have enough strength to handle her weight for a while, she will quite literally climb you like a tree and settle on your shoulders to get a better look at her surroundings on missions

tsuyu is the perfect pocket girlfriend and you can easily protect her by wrapping your arms around her. she just disappears in your embrace and also disappears in your clothes

smallest hoodie thief; she’ll wear your hoodies like dresses whenever she’s chilling at home, especially if you can’t be there with her because then she can still have a part of you and stay warm

URAVITY ( uraraka ochako )

ochaco is the perfect tiny teddy bear girlfriend to your tall teddy bear self. her tiny self melts your big heart with how precious she is

doesn’t matter what your chest looks like, if her face is right against it when you hug her, she will die inside and get flustered, but she might also be so embarrassed by how much she’s blushing that she won’t want to move away

just wrap your arms around her and rest your chin of the top of her head. she could fall asleep standing up when you do

she’s kind, caring and a bit motherly in nature, so the height difference can make it awkward for her to take care of you

as someone who doesn’t like to spend money on too many things, she will raid your closet and you don’t mind at all because she looks so adorable in your clothes that you can’t say anything

the first time she slept over at your place and had to borrow some of your clothes to sleep in, you both died. ochaco because she was wearing your things and you because well, ochaco is the prettiest girl ever

the sweater paws? so precious you could die! and it stops her from accidentally using her quirk

HATSUME MEI

is she really tiny? her personality and enthusiasm are so big that it really doesn’t feel like she is tiny. at all.

mei doesn’t hesitate to use her inventions babies to make the height difference between the two of you disappear

you can’t count on your fingers how many times the two of you have gotten hurt because things went awry with a levitation device or some crazy stilts to make her as tall as you

it’s okay tho, mei has years of experience when it comes to treating small wounds since she always gets hurt while working on her babies, and she’s straddle your lap to take care of any scrap on your face

mei loves to cuddle with you because you can lie down together and there’s just no need to think about breaking your neck and back to lean down

you love it because she lets you rest your head on her chest and you can listen to her heart beat. it’s very nice and comfortable. until she gets an idea out of nowhere and needs to get out of bed to work it out

mei actually genuinely enjoys when you hug her from behind and rest your chin on her shoulder or head when she’s working, she says it keeps her grounded

PINKY ( ashido mina )

mina is as playful as she is tiny, and that’s a whole lot

even if she’s the tiny one, she will be the one teasing you because you’re her favourite tree and her favourite giraffe

she probably won’t ever stop to ask you how the weather is up there, especially if it annoys you whenever she does

don’t tease her back by ignoring her and pretending that you can’t see her because she’s too small because she will absolutely just violently poke you in the ribs and it will hurt

mina will absolutely tackle you down so that she can kiss you, no hesitation, won’t care how you land

be ready to become her personal pillow/blanket/mattress depending on her mood because she will use your body for warmth and comfort

loves to go shopping with you because you can reach high shelves for her and she’s a lot of fun to be around so you don’t mind being her assistant when you go out together

you don’t have a wardrobe. it’s hers. don’t try to stop her it’s a lost cause. just hand over the clothes she wants.

MIRKO ( usagiyama rumi )

the definition of “i’ll strangle you” “can you even reach my neck?”

rumi does not stand for tall rights. fuck tall rights, because tall people suck and they shouldn’t ever be allowed to exist in the same room as her.

that being said, she loves you anyway and you should count yourself lucky

when she’s annoyed with you, she will absolutely just turn her back to you and shove her fluffy ears in your face to show you just how annoyed she is

she doesn’t realise that it doesn’t bother you anymore because whenever she gets sleepy and buries her face in your chest, her ears are in your face

rather than ask you to grab things for her on higher shelves, she will either use her quirk to jump or just use you as a step-stool jump on your back with no warning to get her hands on what she wants

will grab you by your collar and pull you down to kiss you

if she’s too tired to deal with the height difference, she’ll push you down on the couch and sit on your lap

rumi won’t hesitate to call you a giraffe if you call her bunny she actually likes when you call her bunny but would rather choke than admit it

[virgo-mess]

Kidnapper for Hire

Chapter Two

This may have been sitting in my word doc for some odd months now.... I may have kind of forgot it existed but uh, hey at least this chapter is complete... right? Even though it's criminally short, I'll quote the first half just so you know where we're at in this story! I'm really sorry I've been so inconsistent with my updates the two-week vacation definitely helped me sort out my thoughts. I may start doing this thing where any story can be updated at any time... which sounds incredibly chaotic but that's sort of where I'm at creatively right now. It's annoying as someone who enjoys being organized and productive, but I don't have that in me right now. I appreciate all the kind notes you guys sent on my last post ❤️. I've just been in a weird spot mentally lately; I'm hoping smaller updates more frequently will help. Hope you all enjoy even if it isn't much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

TW: Mentions of murder, Reader is being held hostage, police corruption, Cash is sending mixed signals but I think he's genuinely as confused as reader is, and I guess you could say the kiss boarders on dub con in this situation given the circumstances.

Kidnapper for Hire Chapter Two: Officer Giraffe

“Why don’t you lay your head on my lap, so you don’t hurt your neck, princess…” he said softly, looking at you expectantly with a soft smile gracing his lips. You glance at him apprehensively, pondering his suggestion with wide weary eyes...

“You look worn out, princess. Come on, it’s okay” he coaxed in a low almost seductive tone as he wrapped a strong arm around your waist, stroking your exposed navel with delicate calloused fingertips. You inhale sharply, feeling a shiver run down your spine at Cash brazenly tantalizing one of your erogenous zones with overtly lustful blue eyes.

“Come on Y/N, lay down for me” Cash coaxed again, the traffic light has gone through its color cycle about three times at this point illuminating the side of his face in soft colorful hues of yellow, red, and green. You sigh, ignoring your wave of arousal and the thick layer of sexual tension hanging in the air, you hesitantly sprawl across the truck bench seats and lay your head upon his muscular right thigh. It’s not like you really have a choice given your present circumstances though the thought of pushing his buttons was incredibly tempting to you right now.

“Good girl” he praised softly, still stroking your navel with gentle calloused fingertips, you find yourself clamping your thighs together to ease some of the pulsing throbs radiating through your clit as you stare up at him with rosy cheeks. “Now close your eyes, princess” he cooed with a smug, satisfied smirk on his face. You can’t help but roll your eyes as you glare up at him intensely, you begin to consider that his mock reluctance to hand you over was purely sexually motivated, you take this as confirmation that all the promises he just made were lies. You slap the back of his hand harder than necessary, scowling up at him through the dim lighting. Cash let out a deep sigh, staring down at you with a hard expression, you swear you see a hint of dejection flood through his eyes before he reluctantly moves his hand off of your stomach to grip the steering wheel.

“You hit me again and I’ll cuff those pretty little hands of yours right now instead of waiting until we get to where we’re going, sweetheart. Now go to sleep or the blindfold is going back on too” he snapped louder than necessary, your scowl vanishes almost immediately, and you find yourself repressing a whimper, feeling another shiver runs down your spine. Cash’s expression softens a bit, and you know your attempt to muffle your fearful whimper was unsuccessful.

“You’re awfully demanding, officer giraffe” you grumbled, turning your head to face the steering wheel, red faced and flustered by the frequent shifts in his demeanor. You know he’s just trying to beguile you into believing his fake promises to prevent the looming threats against your presently undesirable, semblance of a life from playing out. Still, you can’t help how your body almost instinctively relaxes against him or the way your eyelids grow heavier and heavier until eventually you can’t keep them open anymore. You close your eyes and listen to the way the truck tires roll over the pavement and the way your kidnapper cop breaths in and out above you. You hear him say something to you in a tone that’s so soft you think your brain must have made it up in that place between sleep and awake, the one Tinkerbell told Peter Pan about in those fleeting days of your youth.

“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am”

Cash’s POV

 Cash let out a long sigh as he watched your chest rise and fall delicately with the passing of another golden hued streetlamp. The soft rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance just over the sound of his truck tires rolling over the same stretch of pavement for about the fifteenth time in the last forty minutes or so. Though he’d been sure you were fast asleep a good twenty minutes ago, he had to be sure you couldn’t tell where he was taking you for your sake… and his. He had taken it upon himself to abandon the rental property in Atlantic City James Green had been most generous enough to gift him for your safe keeping over the next few weeks. Of course, Cash would have to find a way to explain away his sudden change of plans, but it seemed James didn’t care where or how he got you just as long as he got the job done. The why for all this was still a total mystery to him. The little conversation he had shared with you over the last few hours, a doe eyed beauty, all but solidified that nagging voice in the back of his head declaring your innocence in this imposing situation with one James Green. With it came that subtle feeling of guilt twisting in the deepest pits of his stomach which only seemed to worsen every time his cold blue eyes settled on your mess of curls sprawled out upon his lap.

   Another sigh escapes Cash’s lips as he pulls down a winding secluded driveway. His fingers leave your soft tendrils for the first time since you’d drifted off to sleep but assure himself it doesn’t mean anything as he pulls into a spacious three car garage. He throws the car in the park, turns the key in the ignition, letting the rumbling engine die down. The faint sound of rippling salt water and your soft shallow breaths fill the small stretch of silence as Cash takes a moment to sit with his thoughts. The dim glow of the overhead motion light pours through his tinted windows, and he finds himself just staring at you. The same way he had stared at you asleep through your small cottage window these last few weeks, silently observing you in all your anxious nighttime ruminations. You for once appeared more at peace asleep in your kidnapper’s lap than you had every night, he’d seen you curled up in your own bed. Cash had always thought the thin sheen of glittering sweat beading down your flushed skin was a symptom of the lack of air flow in your tiny cottage. Of course, now, he knew better, he’d witnessed all the tossing, all the turning, and all the under-eye bags though forced himself to think nothing of it for as long as he could.  “The prospect of a big pay day was far too great to pass up even for a pretty ingenue like you.”

Cash repeats this phrase in his head like a mantra when he finds it in him to push the truck door open and scoop your small frame into his arms. He treads up a few steps into a beach house foyer, through the living room and up the stairs to the lush master bedroom overlooking the ocean (so you can't tell where you are even if you wanted to). The words reel in his mind again as sets you the plush bed in the middle the room he'd set up for you earlier that week. One long, lone silver chain is already clasped securely to one of the canopy bed posts. Already meticulously measured out to reach the master bath off to the right, he fastens it to one of your ankles gently. Cash recons he could keep you here forever just like this if he so wished it.... and boy did he wish it...

Kidnapper for Hire

Chapter Two

This is going to be a two part chapter and this part is on the shorter side but I hope you like it anyway. I will probably do a little editing after I upload but there should be no serious changes

TW: Mentions of murder, Reader is being held hostage, police corruption, Cash is sending mixed signals but I think he's genuinely as confused as reader is, and I guess you could say the kiss boarders on dub con in this situation given the circumstances.

Kidnapper for Hire Chapter Two: Officer Giraffe

Reader’s Pov

You let out a soft sigh as you lay your head against one of the trucks seats with heavy eyelids. Your abductor had been driving for at least two hours now making small talk with you every so often, in what you think is an attempt to soothe you. Which you still find utterly confusing considering the circumstances, why didn’t he just get this out of the way this afternoon. You’d never admit it out loud but, he could’ve coaxed you into his truck at the café quite easily if he actually tried because although you found him intimidating you couldn’t deny you found him incredibly alluring. You would’ve thought a man as attractive as him would have at least an ounce of James Green’s inflated ego, you would argue someone as pretty as your kidnapper actually deserved to have such an ego. Sure, James was rich but truthfully that was the only thing moderately attractive about him and he knew it, you were honestly surprised he sent a man this handsome to get you because everything about James screamed insecure. That was why he had to buy everyone off, that was why he tried to buy you and Simone off, he knew deep down that regardless of money you wouldn’t pick him, especially not with options like the man he hired out there. Honestly, if James hadn’t sponsored that pageant, and you had simply passed him on the street you wouldn’t have given him a second glance. You assume the only reason he picked this man was because he was a cop, a dirty cop at that, you can’t help but wonder what James offered him in return for doing this and you also wonder if he knows he won’t actually be getting whatever it was he offered him. It was clear to you that after all had been said and done the only person with their hands dirty in the end would be him.

You continue to stare up at him from your position on the floor admiring the way the lights on the highway illuminate his pretty blue eyes. You can’t tell if he’s taking you out of the city, he got on the expressway a while ago, but you consider this may just be an attempt to throw you off. Amy already told you he was renting one of the properties near the Cape May Lighthouse, that should’ve been you first clue that something was amiss, families spent thousands to rent out the beach front houses on a weekly basis in the summer and most of them were from the wealthier parts of Manhattan. He didn’t strike you as a trust fund baby and the odds of a cop being able to afford one of those houses on a policeman’s salary were slim. You glance at him again and wonder why he’s still bothering to wear a ski mask when you already knew what he looked like, and he didn’t have a face that was easy to forget. Part of you just wanted him to take it off so you had something beautiful to look at in your numbered days left on this planet. Your love and sex life had been high and dry long before you ended up on that roof in Seattle. Contrary to what most people wanted to believe, even beauty queens struggled when it came to love and relationships. You never knew if someone genuinely liked you or if they just liked the way you looked, such was the case for your last serious relationship, the first and only one you’d ever really been in, and it only lasted your senior year at UCLA. To this day you still aren’t sure if your ex ever actually liked you because it seemed to you, he only liked the way people looked at him when he was with you. Sure, he bought you flowers once a week, but he could never remember what your favorite one was or what your favorite color was or even how you took your tea and coffee. Your split was amicable, but you regretted ever trying to be intimate with someone who didn’t even love you, you could count the times you had something resembling sex on two fingers and both times were awkward and deeply unsatisfying. To the point where you just didn’t have a desire to ever do it again.

So, needless to say, that sudden wave of arousal you felt while you were being taken against your will was bewildering. Even as you stared at him now, with your heart still heavy with trepidation, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to him for some reason. You wonder if he knows he’s leading you to your impending doom right now, you still didn’t know why James killed Simone, but you were sure he thought you turning him in was a thousand times worse than whatever it was he thought she’d done. Considering he went through all this trouble to track you down, how he was able to find you in the first place was another issue entirely. He had to have had a connection inside the U.S. Marshals Service, you were beginning to regret not taking Jim’s call, but you can’t help but wonder if Jim was your betrayer.

“What are you thinking so hard about down there, princess” his deep teasing voice floods through the truck pulling you out of your thoughts, you feel a blush sweep across your cheeks as you realize you’d been staring at him for at least ten minutes. You blink a few times letting your eyes trail over his tall, muscled form as you contemplate what question to ask him first.

“Why are you still wearing a mask, I hate to break it to you, but I already know what you look like, Giraffe” you quipped, toying with one of your shoelaces absentmindedly as you stare up at him. You see his eyes narrow slightly as he let out an annoyed sounding sigh under his breath, you can’t help the amused smile that twitches on your lips when he yanks the mask off and plops it in your lap. His grey hair is a tousled mess, sticking up at odd angles but he somehow still manages to look like he belongs in a magazine spread. You wonder why he even bothered to become a cop if money was all he cared about in the world, he could’ve quite easily have been a successful model, actor, or dare you say male escort….

“Forgot it was on. Oh, Giraffe, that’s really cute princess. I don’t think anyone has called me that since I was ten” he said sarcastically, you don’t miss the snarky eye roll he gives you even in the dim lighting and you can’t help but roll your eyes yourself.

“What do you expect me to call you, it’s not like you introduced yourself when you broke into my house and kidnapped me, did you. I can think of a few other things to call you if you’d like, none of them will be quite that cute though” you said in a bratty tone with a slight scowl making its way onto your face as you stare up at him. Wondering where he found the audacity to be the one complaining right now. His body tenses slightly, as he glances down at you with an unreadable expression on his face before focusing his icy eyes back on the road.

“I’m not sure what you think you have to lose by telling me your name. We both know I’m not making it out of this alive anyway, surely James Green told you that. Since you’re the catalyst of my impending demise the very least you could do is tell me your name, officer Giraffe” you quipped sharply, you don’t miss the way his large, gloved hands tighten around the steering wheel, you find yourself wishing it was your neck instead, silently begging him to put you out of your misery. You watch his chest rise and fall with every deep breath he takes before meeting your gaze with intense blue eyes filled with a shocking amount of anguish as they stare back at you.

“He assured me you weren’t going to die, Y/N” he said calmly, you scoff looking up at him incredulously before letting out a bitter humorless laugh at his mock ignorance. If that was all it took to get him to kidnap you then he was a dirtier cop than you thought, no one could be that stupid.

“Don’t tell me you actually believed that I know you’re a dirty cop but not even you could be that stupid. You know it’s not true, you want to believe it is to make yourself feel better about what you’re doing which is fine but at least admit that to yourself. You’re a shitty person, own it, accept it, you’ve already decided my life is worth less than whatever it is he’s offering you so, you don’t have to convince me my life meant or means something to you at all. If it did you would’ve asked me why I moved across the country to get away from him, why I’m always alone when I clearly don’t want to be, or why I lock down my house every night like it’s the god damn white house. So cut the shit or shut up” you snapped, feeling your eyes sting a bit with fresh tears welling up in them, feeling completely overwhelmed. You take a few calming breaths but let the tears fall from your eyes because you can’t remember the last time you had even cried in the last two years. You didn’t cry at the station, and you never got to go to Simone’s funeral, so you didn’t go through the whole grieving process. You just shut down and went into a constant state of emotional numbness, you had no one to lean on the program required you to not contact former friends and family that weren’t in the program, and you were told to never return to San Francisco. The place where you and Simone grew up together, you had so many memories of riding the cable cars down to Fisherman’s Wharf to ride the carousal and seeing which one of you could eat a whole Killer Crab at the Crab House. You often wondered what your parents and Simone’s parents think happened to you or if they thought of you at all, at the time you thought it would be best to not get them mixed up in the mess you had found yourself in. You never considered the fact that to them it might feel like they lost two daughters that night, you always reassured yourself they would at least get closure once the Feds finished their case against James Green but now that possibility seemed more and more unlikely.

“Y/N, hey, shhh” he said softly, you jump slightly in surprise when you hear that name fall from his lips again, it still sounded so foreign, but you like the way it sounds when he says it for some reason and you hate yourself for it. You don’t reply as you curl your body away from him resting your head on the seat and pulling your knees into your chest. You watch the tops of glowing streetlamps pass the passenger window with silent tears rolling off your cheeks onto the car seat, two years’ worth of repressed emotions finally freeing themselves from their confines.

“What’s your name” you breathed out just above a whisper, you feel his arm stiffen slightly, halting the soothing passes, a bewildering wave of panic curses through you when he starts to pull away. “No, please don’t stop” you whined, turning your body to face him. He gazes down at you for a long moment, the soft yellow orange glow of a traffic light dancing on the side of his face as the truck comes to a stop indicating that you’re no longer on a highway. You feel your cheeks flush in embarrassment as you remember what’s actually happening and what he’s actually doing. You let out a shaky breath aggressively wiping the rest of your tears away as you move further away from him. Slightly angry with yourself for allowing that moment to even happen, you didn’t deserve to be comforted, you didn’t comfort Simone in her final moments, so why should you be comforted in yours.

You’re surprised to find that crying actually makes you feel better, relieved even, like the weight of some of the emotional baggage you’d been carrying around for two years was finally being lifted off your shoulders. You hear your kidnapper shuffling around for a bit before you feel his hand making soft passes through your hair, his fingers tuck some of it behind your ear and you notice he’s no longer wearing a glove. As he drags a knuckle gingerly down the length of your cheek, wiping a few of the tears away, you absentmindedly lean into his touch liking the way his slightly callused skin feels against your soft skin. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched or comforted you, let alone like this. So, you let him continue dragging his warm rough fingers down your skin and through your hair for what feels like forever, the gentleness he seems keen on showing you is still confusing. You’re sure James told him to keep you alive but a small part of you would be more accepting of your impending demise if your perplexing kidnapper cop was the one doing it because, at least then you’d know you’d die feeling somewhat content.

“Forget what I just said, I don’t want you to touch me, and I don’t want you to comfort me. Not now, not when you’re doing this to me, okay.” You snapped, surprising yourself with how confidently it came out because although you were strangely attracted to him, you were still very much afraid of him. You wonder how a cop, someone sworn to protect and serve others, could stray so far down a path like this. A green blue hue from the traffic light illuminates the truck and the side of his face but he makes no effort to hit the gas, still staring down at you.

“My name is Cash and I promise you’re not going to die; I will not let it happen, okay” he said just above a whisper, ignoring the angry blare of the car horn behind you as he looked at you with sincere blue eyes. Cash reached one of his hands out toward you, tucking it under your arm he pulled you onto the passenger seat with ease, he peels his eyes off you for a moment to step on the gas. You can’t bring yourself to focus on anything passing the windows because your eyes are locked on him, taking in his every move, every mannerism, with perplexed fascination.  Cash keeps his icy eyes on the road with furrowed brows, looking like he was having an internal battle with himself as his glove free hand leaves the steering wheel to hover over your smaller one several times.

“I was really hoping you’d fall asleep before we get there, y/n..” He trailed softly, you tense up uncomfortably despite the gentle tone he uses, a soft whimper escapes your lips as you stare at him with untrusting eyes. Cash seems to resolve his internal dilemma upon hearing the sound fall from your parted lips his large glove free hand falls on top of your smaller one, dragging his calloused thumb over your soft skin gingerly. Another faint red glow flows through the windshield, and the truck rolls to a slow stop, the rev of the engine still vibrating through the leather seats. Cash’s large, muscled form ghosts the side of your body almost teasingly as he finally meets your gaze his eyes look less icy as they stare back at you this time, looking almost inviting in the dim glow of the traffic light and passing headlights.

“James won’t be there, y/n, I promise” he cooed into your ear, his lips lingering next to your face for a moment before settling on your cheek in the form of a kiss. The tender peck sends a shiver down your spine and a blush flooding to your cheeks as he pulls away to gauge your reaction. You furrow your brows as your perplexed fascination with him deepens, taking in his every move with curious eyes. Cash cocked his head at you, his eyes searching yours for something with a slight smirk playing on his lips in the dim lighting his thumb is still stroking the back of your hand slowly.

“What was that for” you said softly, staring at him intensely as he flicked his eyes back towards the now green traffic light wordlessly hitting the gas pedal.

“Why, do you want another one, how about I do you one better. I’ll give you a real one if you promise to go to sleep for me right now, princess and then I’ll tell you what it was for in the morning” he coaxed flirtatiously, you gasped softly staring back at him in disbelief.

“What” you said, Cash glanced at you with an unreadable expression as the truck slowed to a stop once again, his blue eyes were still soft as they scanned over your face for a moment.

“If you say, “I promise to go to sleep Cash”, I’ll give you a kiss goodnight, y/n and then you’ll go to sleep.” he crooned smirking at you in the dim glow of the traffic light. You cock an eyebrow at him in bewilderment as you stare at him with calculating eyes, wondering if he was being serious or just toying with you out of spite.

“I promise to go to sleep… officer giraffe” you said coyly, innocently batting your eyelashes at him but still somehow managing to keep a straight face as you gauge his reaction.  He doesn’t seem half as bothered as when you called him that twenty minutes ago, in fact you think you saw an amused smile play on his lips for a moment.

“I suppose that close enough for tonight, princess” he said softly, slowly leaning his face towards yours, you feel your heartrate pick up suddenly feeling very nervous, you didn’t think he was actually going to do it. And now you couldn’t believe you were contemplating letting him do it, letting him kiss you when he had just taken you against your will mere hours ago. You find you can’t really think straight as his blue eyes inch closer to you, until they're indistinguishable blue blobs.

“Ready” he breathed out, his hot breath washing over your lips gently, your heart is pounding so fast you’re sure he can hear it above the faint sounds of car tires rolling over pavement. You inhale sharply, only giving him a sound of acknowledgement as your brain doesn’t seem to be forming words right now. Cash makes a pleased sounding murmur before letting his lip touch yours in a feather like peck that could hardly pass as a real kiss, it’s teasing at best, and you’re surprised to find yourself annoyed with him for it.

“That’s not a r…” your words die in your throat when he captures you in a second more intense kiss that had you fighting back a moan as you kissed him back. You hadn’t kissed anyone in about five years, and you couldn’t remember one ever feeling like this one and you couldn’t help but hate yourself for it. Cash pulled away abruptly, breathing heavily as he looked at you with dark almost confused eyes.

“Now, what did you promise me, princess” he coaxed, leaning back against the driver’s seat with an almost adoring smile despite the way the events have unraveled in the last couple hours and your impending doom on the horizon. You open and close your mouth to speak several times but can’t seem to find the words as you throw you head back against the car seat defeated.  “Why don’t you lay your head on my lap, so you don’t hurt your neck, princess…” he said softly…

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Okay but like I feel like Diego is the kind of person to flirt with really bad pick-up lines and Klaus is just Not Having It

featuring: Diego being a flustered Mama's boy and Klaus being a disaster dumbass and the two of them being completely in love with each other anyway

DISCLAIMER: None of the pick-up lines are mine, but the responses and ensuing shenanigans are :)

(there's fifty of these so buckle up kids :) sorry not sorry <3)

seriously though some of these are really bad

#1: He A Snack

Diego: Baby, you belong in the vending machine because you’re a snack.

Klaus: Diego you know I’m claustrophobic.

Diego: Don’t you mean Klaus-trophobic??? *finger guns*

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I want a divorce.

#2: I’m From Hell

Diego: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Klaus: I’m a veteran addict and abuse victim who can see ghosts, Diego.

Klaus: Everything hurts.

#3: Animal Puns

Diego: *points to TV screen playing the Discovery Channel* Hey Klaus.

Diego: You’re my otter half.

Klaus: Diego those are meerkats.

#4: Stars

Diego: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Klaus: Yup.

Diego: You know who else is beautiful?

Klaus: Ben.

#5: Get Out Your Handcuffs Mister

Diego: You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.

Klaus: Diego you got kicked out of the police academy like five years ago, just give up.

#6: Bad Boys

Diego: *leaning against the doorframe like a moron* So. I hear you like bad boys.

Klaus: Diego you cried because you accidentally stepped on a bee last week.

Diego: Well yeah but -

Klaus: You held a funeral for it. You made us all speak. You had Allison fly in from California. It was a fucking bee, Diego.

Diego: … I wear leather?

Klaus: So does every other kid who shops at Hot Topic. You’re not special.

#7: Prince Charming

Diego: Your knight in shining armor is here -

Klaus: One, that’s a turtleneck, not armor.

Klaus: Two, you’re covered in blood. That’s the opposite of shiny.

Klaus: Three, you smell like dead fish. Go take a shower.

#8: Chemistry

Diego: Did we have a class together? Because I could’ve sworn we had -

Klaus: Chemistry? Yup. Also English and math and foreign languages and history and like every other fucking thing because we grew up in the same sadistic boarding school, Diego.

#9: The Store Can’t Just Give Away Things For Free. That’s A Terrible Way To Run A Business.

Diego: I like your pants.

Klaus: Thanks. I got them out of a dumpster. And yes, you can have them 100% off.

Diego: *voice cracks* Really?

Klaus: No.

#10: Boyfriend Material

Diego: My jeans are made of -

Klaus: You’re wearing leather pants Diego.

Diego: Okay but -

Klaus: So they’re made of leather and they’re not fucking jeans.

#11: Digits

Diego: I lost my phone number. Can I have -

Klaus: None of us have phones, Diego.

Diego: I can… buy us some?

Klaus: Fine. I want my number to be 1-420-420-4201.

Diego: Baby no.

Klaus: *pulling out the puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease?

Diego: Fine, but mine’s gonna be 1-696-969-6969.

Klaus: I love you so much. Marry me. Have my babies.

#12: Love At First Sight

Diego: Do you believe in love at first sight or -

Klaus: If I did I’d have already fallen in love with a lot of hot ghosts.

Diego: - should I walk by again?

Klaus: You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes, Gogo. I think if it was gonna happen it would’ve by now.

#13: You Have Fine Written All Over You

Diego: Are you a parking ticket? Cause -

Klaus: Diego I can’t drive.

#14: His Eyes Are Green Not Blue You Dipshit

Diego: Your eyes are an ocean, and I’m lost at sea.

Klaus: ... can’t you, like, hold your breath forever?

Diego: *blinks* Baby, I love you, but you’re ruining this with our childhood trauma.

Klaus: Well since you’ve refused therapy I just thought this was the next best option.

Diego: I take back what I said about loving you.

#15: Math Is Dumb And I Wish School Would Stop Teaching It

Diego: Are you a forty-five degree angle?

Klaus: Actually, because humans have non-linear body shapes, it’s impossible for their specific angles to be measured -

Diego: Are you high or have you been defiling Five’s books again?

Klaus: *blinks* Why can’t it be both?

Diego: *rethinking life decisions*

#16: Baby I’m All Yours

Diego: Do you have a name?

Klaus: Klaus.

Diego: Or can I call you mine?

Klaus: I mean I prefer “baby”, but sure.

Diego: *super wide eyes* Really?

Klaus: *melts into a puddle of glitter* Yeah, Gogo.

#17: (Not) Bookworms

Diego: Thank god I brought my library card. Cause I’m here to check you out.

Klaus: *through a mouthful of waffles* God isn’t real. We all die and rot beneath the earth to be eaten by maggots. There is no such thing as a higher power.

Klaus: *swallows waffles and takes a really loud slurp of an orange juice and chocolate milk combo*

Klaus: Oh, and the library’s closed for renovations til, like, Christmas so you’re outta luck, sorry.

Diego: I thought you met god? Little girl on a bicycle?

Klaus: Her? Nah, only Satan’s got that much sass. Plus, that wasn’t heaven.

Diego: And you know this how?

Klaus: *squishes Diego’s face with both hands* Think about it. Do you really think dear ol’ dad’s in heaven?

Diego: Can you let of my face please?

#18: Bad Move, Buddy

Diego: Are you a pre-historic fossil? Cause you’re my missing link.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you just call me old?

Diego, backing out of the room slowly: What? No! No of course not! No, obviously no, absolutely not -

Klaus: *releases savage war cry*

Diego: *runs for his goddamn life*

#19: I Rate This 0/10

Diego: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only -

Klaus: I don’t know where I’m from. I’m an orphan.

Diego: Oh… I know, baby -

Klaus: And the piece of shit that adopted me lived in New York anyway. We’re in New York right now actually. Do you need a geography lesson? I think Pogo’s got a map -

Diego: Klaus.

#20: Oh Shit

Diego: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: *tears up* I’m nothing?

Diego: Oh no. No no no. No, baby, you’re not nothing, don’t cry, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby - oh my god please don’t cry -

#21: You’ve Got Everything I’m Searching For

Diego: Is your name Google? Because -

Klaus: Diego. For the last time…

Klaus: My name is Kimberly Linda Aerealia Ulysses Saffron Hargreeves the Twenty-Fourth. I don’t know why I need to keep explaining this to you -

Diego, kissing him quiet: You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that?

#22: Don’t Make Bets You’ll Lose, Luther.

Diego: Luther bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t talk to the prettiest person here. How do you wanna spend his money?

Klaus: Drugs.

Diego: Baby -

Klaus: *beams* Nah, I’m just kidding. Stuffed giraffes.

Diego: *grins* For Five?

Klaus: *nods* For Five.

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego: He’ll hate them.

Klaus: Exactly. Let’s go.

#23: Deja Vu

Diego: Have we met before?

Klaus: Yes. Obviously. Are you also high?

Diego: No -

Diego: Wait, you’re high?

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: No?

#24: Such An Optimist

Diego: Are you a time traveller?

Klaus: No, that’s Five.

Diego: Cause I think you’re my future!

Klaus: *stares blankly*

Diego: No? Nothing? Nada?

Klaus: In the future we’re all dead dipshit.

Klaus: Because. Ya know.

Klaus: THERE’S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE COMING.

Diego:

Diego: Okay then.

#25: Please Go To The Hospital.

Diego: Are you my appendix? Cause my stomach’s fluttering and I think I should take you out.

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you drink water from the fish tank again?

Diego: *turning green* Luther dared me to okay???!!!!

#26: Suicidal Tendencies

Diego: Hey gorgeous -

Klaus: Let me guess. I should drop dead?

Diego: What?! No! Baby -

#27: Infinitely On The Naughty List (And Not The Good Kind Of Naughty List (If There Is One I’m Asexual I Don’t Know))

Diego: Are you Santa Klaus? Cause you make all my wishes come true.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: You have five seconds to run.

Diego: *already two streets away* Fucking shit -

#28: You Can’t Use That Every Time We Have An Argument, Tony.

Diego: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Klaus: I mean, there’s one in the corner of our living room right now, so I guess?

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *squeaks* You - you can see dinosaur ghosts?

Klaus: I mean, there’s a chance that thing Ben’s petting is just a super deformed ostrich, but yeah, I think so.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *tearing up* That’s so cool.

#29: A Whole New Kind Of Thirst Trap

Diego: I’m thirsty. But guess whose body is 75% water?

Diego: *smirks*

Klaus: *frowns*

Klaus: Hold on, I know this one…

Diego: Klaus -

Klaus: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know! Luther!

Diego: *horrified* What the fuck Klaus why the fuck would you say that -

#30: What A Tragedy

Diego: You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.

Klaus:

Klaus: Diego sweetheart, you’re allergic to marshmallows.

Diego: *tearing up* I know.

Klaus: You wanna hug, baby?

Diego: *crying* Yes please.

#31: That Can’t Be Allowed

Diego: Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: *does a triple flip and lands perfectly on the top of the bar counter*

Diego: *turns bright red* That was h-h-hot.

Klaus: *beams and jumps down into Diego’s arms bridal-style*

Klaus: *kisses his cheek* I know, baby.

#32: Merry Christmas

Diego: You’re the reason Santa started the Naughty List.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: *pouts*

Klaus: No fair! He told me last week I was on the Nice List!

Diego: What? Klaus? What does that -

Diego: OH MY GOD KLAUS IS SANTA DEAD???!!!!

#33: I’ll Keep You Safe, Honey.

Diego: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Klaus: *pulls out a stuffed tiger*

Klaus: He got lost in the kitchen. Don’t worry, I rescued him for you.

Diego: *takes soft tiger*

Diego: *voice cracks* Oh. Thanks.

Klaus: *kisses his forehead* You’re welcome, baby.

#34: Excuse Me?

Diego: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Klaus, internally: Shit. What if he finds out I stole like five of his knives and all of the cookies last week?

Klaus, externally: *blinks*

Klaus: Um… Stefonopolis?

#35: I Am Not Apologizing For This One

Diego: If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Klaus: But I’m so unique…

Klaus: I talk to the dead, Diego.

Diego: Okay…?

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: So wouldn’t I be medium rare?

Ben: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#36: Leonardo Da Vinci Was Arrested Multiple Times For Homosexual Activity.

Diego: Is this a museum? Cause you’re a work of art.

Klaus: *dancing to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3* Actually Five took me back to Italy once. Leonardo da Vinci and I had some fun.

Diego:

Diego: Oh my god. Seriously?

Diego: *looks up picture of Mona Lisa, now titled Mona Klausa*

Diego: How the fuck -

#37: Why Would You Say That Though

Diego: Am I sleepwalking? Cause I’ve only seen you in my dreams.

Klaus: *sitting on the counter and eating a donut in one bite* Are they dirty?

Luther: *chokes on a pickle*

Diego: Oh my god no -

Diego: Well sometimes -

Diego: I mean no of course not -

Luther: *praying to whoever’s up there to just kill him already*

#38: Be Safe Kids!

Diego: Can you hold this for me?

Klaus: Sweetie, you need to wash your hands.

#39: Apocalypse Averted!

Diego: If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I thought that was Vanya.

Diego:

Diego, panicking: Holy shit Klaus you can’t just say things like that -

Vanya: *crying from laughter*

#40: Attractive

Diego: Do you swallow magnets? Because you’re -

Klaus: *shoves him up against the wall*

Klaus: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Ben? I swear to god I’ll kill him -

Diego: *squeaks* What?

#41: First You’ve Gotta Propose Diego

Diego: Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Klaus: Diego. Did you buy me a cake?

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: I’m waiting.

Diego: Right sir yes sir right away sir -

#42: He May Not Be A Kitten But He Is As Soft As One

Diego: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Klaus: I’m homeless, Diego.

Diego: What? You are? Oh no, baby - you can come stay with me?

Klaus: *looks up from Disney Princess coloring book and raises an eyebrow* Is your bed available?

Diego, blushing: Ye-yeah, b-ba-baby. Whe-whenever you-u w-want.

Klaus: *smiles*

Klaus: *takes Diego’s hand*

Klaus: Okay.

Diego: *dies a little bit inside (in a good way)*

#43: It’s Just You.

Diego: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Klaus, blushing: I -

Five: DIEGO. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

#44: ‘Scuse Me, Mate?

Diego: You know, penguins mate for life. Wanna be my penguin?

Klaus: Eh. I’ve always been more of an iguana man.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: What?

#45: You Look Like… Antonio Banderas With The Long Hair.

Diego: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Klaus: *buried in a Vogue magazine* I don’t know I’m not Antonio Banderas.

#46: What The Fuck Klaus

Diego: Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Klaus: *hands him a Candyland board* Here. I stole it from Pogo.

#47: You Dumbass

Diego: I hate my last name. Can I borrow yours?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: We have the same last name, Diego.

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: Fuck you’re right -

#48: Okay But Diego Would Make A Great Aladdin Though

Diego: I’m not a genie, but I can still make your dreams come true.

Klaus: *wrinkles his nose*

Klaus: You can get me a pink elephant with jaundice?

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: What the fuck Klaus -

#49: HELLO

Diego: Is that a knife or are you just happy to see me?

Klaus: I don’t just have random knives on me Diego, I’m not you.

Diego: So you are happy to see me?

Klaus: I mean you just interrupted a very riveting episode of Sesame Street, so… we’ll see.

#50: It’s Always Best To Start With The Truth.

Diego: I love you.

Klaus: *beams* That’s all you had to say, darling.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (February 3/2021) - The Egg Fights Back

Some interesting new discoveries are made about the Crimson, as Karl time travels once more to an older time.

In the present, Puffy attempts to destroy the Crimson and makes a discovery of her own:

The Crimson can defend itself.

---

- Fundy has figured out how to create life! In the form of little clay figures shaped like people, named after his viewers.

- The mini goblins have their own AI and are going to be able to path-find. If they path-find and combine enough, they’ll be able to fight.

- He can also destroy the ones that misbehave with a special stick.

- In the future, the clay figures will be more advanced. Though chat suggests giving the clay figures the ability to commit arson, Fundy decides that probably wouldn’t be the best idea.

- Tubbo opens his mailbox and reads his letter from Tommy.

- Tubbo’s decided that his goal for today is copious amounts of murder, in which he kills anyone he comes across.

---

It’s time for Tales From the SMP: “The Masquerade!”

A group of rich people come together to party...or so they thought.

---

The cast:

Karl plays Karl (just Karl)

Techno plays Sir Billiam III

Ranboo plays the Butler

Fundy plays Oliver Arachtenstein Cumbucket

Bad plays Lord Sebastian

Sapnap plays James

Niki plays Liaria

Quackity plays Drew P. Weiner

---

- Karl walks up to the mansion and meets a piggy fellow named Sir Billiam III, who is hosting a masquerade ball for rich people 

- Billiam introduces Karl to his overworked butler. 

- Karl falls off the stairway and Billiam explains that this is why they have railings

- Billiam shows Karl around to the various bedrooms. The wither painting is Billiam’s favorite.

- Billiam continues to tour Karl around until they reach the ballroom. Billiam calls for the Butler to fetch some wine.

- Oliver arrives to the party. He is living in London and likes to smoke, and wears a giraffe mask.

- Lord Sebastian is next to arrive.

- Next is James, an old friend of Billiam’s. James is divorced, his family gone. James tosses Karl a bottle of wine.

- Liaria arrives

- Drew P. Weiner, who is naked, arrives. He thought it was a nudist party. Billiam is flustered and wants him gone.

- Billiam had another butler named Hubert, but he ran off and now Billiam can’t find him.

- They go to sit at the bar in the ballroom. Billiam tells the butler to feed Drew poison.

- They then head to the dance floor and hang out.

- Drew is sick and the rest of the guests scatter in fear.

- After failing to poison Drew, they go to play Duck Duck Goose on the carpet.

- The lights go dark and they scatter. When the regroup, Drew’s body is found in a secret room

- Billiam has built a few panic rooms of his own. They split to look for more.

- Suddenly, the lights dim again. 

- When they come back, they find Liaria’s body lying on the wine barrels, and Oliver almost drowns in the aquarium.

- They discuss, drink lots of milk, and find a new secret passageway leading from the barrels to the ballroom.

- Billiam and Karl suspect it might be Sebastian, who was inspecting the wine. They start to confront him, but the lights go out once more. Karl runs with Sebastian.

- Billiam is found outside and must be let back in. 

- Karl shows them where Sebastian died. Karl says it must’ve been Oliver, since he saw Oliver right when the lights turned on.

- Karl has the idea to pair up this night. Karl goes with Billiam as the lights turn off.

- The two of them crawl back up from a secret chamber and find Oliver standing right near James’ body. They question Oliver and the Butler, suspecting them both.

- They give the Butler temporary freedom of speech for thirty minutes.

- At the end of discussion, they still suspect Oliver, and assign him the Butler as a buddy. The lights go dark as Karl stays with Billiam again.

- Billiam shows Karl a panic room armed with defensive fireworks for extreme situations.

- The Butler tells them that Oliver had a heart attack. Karl and Billiam start running from him.

- Billiam leads Karl to a new hiding spot. A secret room behind a painting. It’s his favorite panic room...because it has the Egg.

- Billiam tells Karl that in his travels, he found this mansion. A breeding ground for this mysterious Egg. And in his spare time, Billiam feeds poor people to the Egg as nourishment.

The Egg did the killings.

It can persuade people to do what it wants.

- The Butler begins to glow, and chases Karl down. The noises of stabbing can be heard as the screen goes dark.

- Karl wakes up in a white castle. There’s a wither rose and a book, and his clothes are all white.

The book calls it the inbetween. A dimension connected to Karl’s powers, a home away from home.

He doesn’t get to choose when he time travels, or when he returns, but his body doesn’t have to deteriorate.

If he explores the castle of the inbetween, then perhaps he can find the key to not lose himself.

He has to maintain the library, move it to a new land, and get people to join him. But he can’t let anybody else know what the inbetween is.

Until next time.

- Karl wakes up in his library and begins to write. One of the books is missing.

---

- Puffy has heard rumors that Tommy broke a piece of the Egg and nothing bad happened. Can she do the same?

- She breaks off a piece and it damages her, taking away around three hearts of health. She’s shocked and immediately stops trying to destroy it.

- Ranboo logs on and is confused by where he is. The maps are gone.

- Puffy gets a Prime Suit and goes back.

- Puffy tries breaking a different piece and it almost kills her, doing six hearts of damage. Why did this not happen to Tommy? She doesn’t think she can damage the Egg at all, even with TNT. Every time she goes to break it, it hurts more. A third time and she might not survive...

- Ranboo heads off in a direction.

- Puffy wonders if the Egg chose to let Tommy have a piece of the Egg, if the Egg doesn’t want to hurt Tommy. Maybe it wants Tommy to have part of it.

- Puffy needs to get Techno to help before the Eggpire gets Techno on their side. She needs to do something about this immediately.

- Ranboo makes it home and decides to check on the Egg.

- Puffy writes in the Captain’s Log. She shouldn’t have attempted to break the Egg. There’s some sort of difference between her and Tommy.

She and Tommy both have lost friends and made sacrifices. She thought she could fix this all on her own, but she couldn’t. She doesn’t have another attempt. Each try hurts more and more. But why did the Egg choose to spare Tommy?

It’s time for blood for the Blood God. It’s time for Technoblade.

Next stream, Puffy will visit Technoblade.

- Ranboo explores the SMP and is pleased by the grass blocks in L’Targay.

- As Puffy finishes writing, Ranboo hops down into the spider spawner. He makes his way to the secret room.

- Puffy goes to see Foolish’s builds and then goes to get quartz.

- Ranboo sees the Egg, waiting for it to say something. It doesn’t, so he graffitis it instead.

- Ranboo heads back home.

- He thinks people are probably going to create countries again. It’s already happened with Snowchester. So Ranboo doesn’t want to be involved.

- Puffy works on building projects and Ranboo continues to get rich.

---

Upcoming Events:

- Tommy’s next visit with Dream

- Bad wants to visit Dream again in the future

- Tubbo’s possible visit with Dream

- Quackity’s possible visit with Dream

- Sapnap’s visit with Dream

- Puffy’s visit with Dream

- Ponk’s visit with Dream

- Punz’s visit with Dream

- Jack Manifold’s visit with Dream

- The Eggpire possibly speaking with Technoblade

- Puffy meeting with Technoblade