#One The Edge of Gone
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I think AM should run for president of the United States with Ted as the vice. I’d vote for them.
Honestly I’d vote for them too
Bonus: AM got bored after an hour in office
#my art#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#am ihnmaims#ted ihnmaims#am#tedam#evil computer#i forgot to add fucking tags omfg#and there a typo in the words I WROTE#im loosing my edge not that i had one to begin with but if i did its fucking gone#AM for president#we're all doomed anyway
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unfortunately thinking hard abt how Bruce meets duke at three vastly different times in his life and how he watched the innocence and cheer leave him as he got older and more jaded only for his spirit to blaze with hope when he matures into the signal
#ITS LIKE#dukes convinced hes an entirely different kid#he goes from a clever determined baby know it all to a jaded but hopeful 14ish year old to a rough edged thick skinned tunnel visioned 16#year old in WAR but like bruce meets well remeets duke post war and who he meets is an amalgamation of all 3 but dukes convinced that kid i#gone died the night gotham experienced that joker attack and hes sure hes so different theres no way his parents could be proud#but BUT!!! Bruce sees that same 7 year old he met erasing and rewriting riddles bcs hes convinced hes the one who will save gotham from the#riddler bcs SOMEONE has to and it mightas well be him and youre only crazy if it doesn't work right?#help..HELP ME#MEDIC MEDIC#the signal#thought bubbles#duke thomas#bruce wayne#batman
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No one knows that Saruman is a girlboss and that’s what makes him so funny.
#it’s the edge of insecurity#he said ‘no one will be able to stand against the combined forces of Sauron AND Saruman’#and the slight stress on the and#he’s like right?!?? right??!????!#he said it’s you and meeeeee against the world#Sauron like. using you for my purposes saying nothing#sorry I post this take every year but it SENDS ME INTO ORBIT#he is also an academic gone bad but what is an academic gone bad but a girlboss#to be clear girlboss = derogatory
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My favourite fantasy lately is Kuya kidnapping Eiden and bringing him to a house in the woods to punish him for endangering himself during some adventure. Kuya keeps Eiden in bondage and constantly on edge, teasing and denying him. And Eiden just takes it without asking to be let out, allowing Kuya to vent his fear and frustration, because he's nice like that.
But, at some point, even the strongest little soldiers break, and just when Eiden is about to shatter from all the stress and Kuya's oppressive anxiety, Quincy comes for the rescue. He's the only one who managed to find that little wooden shack in the middle of nowhere (you know, because Kuya's allowed him to), and he comes in and persuades Kuya to relent.
Kuya hasn't even given Eiden any dick in all the (three? four?) days they've been at it, so serious he was about the discipline aspect!
Eiden cries when Kuya finally fucks him, and Quincy makes him spill
this just reminds me of Billowing Wildfire Kuya R2 where eiden saID sO HImself
i would not be surprised if kuya went full speed into an evil edging hostage situation because he doesn't know how to process eiden's mortality
#feesh answer#i don't think even I'M that evil#i wouldn't edge eiden for DAYS...#then again i don't have the lifespan of an ancient fox yokai. i think.#so time passing for kuya must feel very different#(eiden being magically edged in the other room) kuya while doing his nails: huh. has it been 20 minutes already?#IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS. KUYA LET HIM SPLORT#is there any way the clan members would NOT freak out after seeing eiden disappear for 3-4 days?#by the 1st night of MissingEiden#at least 3 of his wives would be on high alert LOL#unfortunately kuya rly does have those ridiculous powers#if he didn't wanna be found then none of the others would be able to get to him#i guess that's when quincy and rei are hired to sniff him out#rei's prob more lax like. what? the grand idiot's been gone for a day? so what. he's prob just fucking his way thru the clan#and one by one they all go 'he's not with me'#maybe by the 3rd day due to the delay in manual mail delivery#they get the scroll back from dante like 'no eiden is not with me'#and that's when everyone FLIPS OUT and the search goes into high gear#no. no actually i feel like they would all have figured out where eiden was within a day#that many brains.... surely they would be able to tell#or quincy would tattle. very matter of factly.#as in. yeah. i can sense it. old fox is squirreling away somewhere with the little devil#sigh. kuya if you keep this up they're all gonna put u thru mandated fox therapy or smth#you cannot do this every time you get separation anxiety#wait how tf do you spell the kuyaei shipname. is it just kuyaei. kuyei? kyuei? friggni vowels man#nu carnival kuya
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Favourite manga read in 2023
#my nonsense#manga#manga 2023#yoake no uta#boy meets maria#yume no hashibashi#akebi chan no sailor fuku#sono saki no fuukei#ikemen girl to hakoiri musume#my broken mariko#rivers edge#okaeri alice#hiraeth wa tabiji no hate#double#bikachou shinshi kaikoroku#i tried to keep it to one manga per mangaka but i liked chi no wadachi more than the other contenders so eh#to be fair it might also be the recency bias#mayyybe i should change it to double but it's still ongoing with so much story left to tell#akebi chan and yoake no uta are established enough or i vibe with the stories enough no matter how it ends#altho yoake has gone in a bizarre direction#that one i read so long ago i can't remember if it's actually too weird to make the list#but the start was so perfect exactly the kind of story i love reading#actually now that i'm checking there are more volumes of double than there are of yoake no uta#uuuuhhh fine i'll change it
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we dont have enough fanart and fanfics about sauron in numenor. im begging for scraps im manifesting im sending signals to the universe
#angbang#mairon at the edge of his grief. going insane the whole religion temple human sacrificies prophet thing for his dead master#i need him on his knees in front of a huge melkor sculpture DESPERATE like a dog searching for his owner after they are gone#like normally in first age its different but when melkor isgone and after everything that happens#i need him at his most pathetic.like hes doing all that and hes cunning hes powerful his mind is still sharp but sharpness goes into insani#and inside he is absolutely torn and in pieces and everything he was suppressing and running away from catches up with him#and then cue fall of numenor#but like. i need a really good psychosexual fic with grief. i really am manifesting. my prayers will go to the universe#and one day a writer on ao3 will go into some kind of trance to create exactly that and better i believe it#and on fanart wise. 1. mairon kissing melkor sculpture with tears. 2. mairon on his knees in front of the sculpture#perhaps forehead to the floor too full on worship style#for extra i would not say no to a h*rny psychosexual grieving fic where mairon does some stuff with the sculpture#you know the kind of fic that makes you miserable and turned on at the same time#anyway. another post to delete later#&#no one will read this but im open to any recs too like send me links fanart fanfic it doesnt have to be like what i said#i just need sauron in numenor i am starving
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is there a way to get out of that cycle? i dont know whats right to do, keeping my feelings to myself will only lead to exploding at some point and hurt me, but sharing what i feel or think about pieces of media while not wanting to hear differing opinions- and being rly emotional affected by them and unable to ignore it alot of the time.... but also wanting to connect and not feel this lonely all the time ....... but then my opinions being dead set will lead me to being mean and feel guilty for it, doubting myself (what if I AM wrong after all) so if i cant handle that i should just keep it to myself- and im back at the start
"be yourself" can i???? should i???? myself can be mean! i can be agressive! i can explode at people! unnecessarily so! i dont want that!! i feel so guilty and embarassed! wanting to connect only with the people that feel the same as you is a silly and stupid want that will never work and yet i keep trying it anyway!! its all so contradictory!! it only pushes people away bc i can be so unpredictable and mean and yet i am unable to shut up!! i dont know what to do!! i feel guilty for it all constantly!!! i hate it!!!
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i feel like im nearing a breakdown and i dont know why!!!!!!! i keep feeling like this!!! right on the edge of emotions i dont get!! why!!#why am i like this!!!!!!!!!#my only way to talk to people and all i do is be a little shit bc i am so dead set on my stupid game opinions#in the end its right! its just a game!#i dont know what to do#keeping to yourself? bad!#talking about game but not wanting the opposite opinion? stupid bad!#writing it where no one will see? doesnt work! bad!#being mean to people? bad!#ignoring? cant! bad!#deleting post to avoid more comments? feel guilty! bad!#delete post after replying meanly to someone? weird and bad!#by deleting post good comments gone! bad! guilty!#do something else? dont know anything! bad!#go meet freinds? dont have any! bad!#find some? dont know how! am weird! scary! bad!#all bad!!#too much feel! bad!#wish i could just turn off the 'emotion' switch#and just turn into an art maschine that never says anythign stupid and just 'works'
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the thought of an unhinged feral satoru where sukuna has to be the one to placate him, and he's so calm and collected as he takes his wide-eyed boy into his arms and runs hands along him and whispers soft words into his thrumming skin until satoru gradually melts into him
#unrealistic bc sukuna would never ever ask gojo to calm down he likes feral unhinged satoru more than anything he is his no.1 enabler#but for the sake of the scenario#likeeeeee it's just soooooo hot.#a completely gone satoru who's bouncing with barely contained energy. hairs on edge. eyes totally wide. grin splitting his face.#and then a collected smiling sukuna who takes a hand to him and tells him to stand down. and for a moment satoru's oppressive gaze falls on#sukuna and he's looking at sukuna brain buzzing while sukuna's looking at him with such fondness and disappointment that he has to relax hi#he takes a hand to satoru's face and coos at him and whispers soft words. (maybe gives him a little kiss too)#it takes a while but satoru does eventually relax under his hand#but only with the promise of another battle <3#jjk#sukugo#f.txt#one would think sukuna to be the wild dog but it's actually satoru#how to calm down ur fightsexual boyfriend: tell him u'll let him fight u if he behaves right now
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#for when you've gone over the edge (in either a good way or a bad one)#reaction image#reaction meme#daily reaction images#image mood: welp
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Gil gets hurt and Thena takes care of him. We need some soft content hehehe free choice and thanks <3
"You okay?"
Thena blinked. Her vision was fading on her. She looked back at Gil, who was staring at her with those big brown eyes of his. She smiled, moving away from the edge of the loft and leaning over him again. "I should be asking you that. You need to rest."
"I am," he pointed out weakly, moving his eyes around to indicate the thorough incapacitation of his body. They had gotten up the ladder on pure adrenaline. They just needed somewhere off the ground and safe for the night while the herd outside passed, or at least calmed.
The barn doors were holding, thanks to the plank of wood they had secured after all of them holding them with all their strength.
Thena had spread out some hay. They didn't bring much with them--this was supposed to be an easy day trip for supplies. She had laid Gil down, balling up her sweater under his head as the least she could do. "Let me see it."
It wasn't as if he was in a position to stop her. He grunted as she pulled on his good arm to help him sit up, although even that caused his bad shoulder some pain. "You checked it five minutes ago."
"It was not five minutes ago," she argued with him, their voices hushed. Despite the tense silence and the low shuffling of the herd outside, it was quieter in the barn than the sterile, smooth echoes of the hospital. Not that they didn't long to be back there at the moment.
Gil let her unbutton his shirt and look at his shoulder again. He had tried to save one of their own earlier, even letting his arm be pulled out of the socket. But the herd had won, and she had pulled him away before he could be swallowed up too.
The swelling was still prominent. She didn't have anything to help with that, and neither she nor Kingo nor Ikaris were knowledgeable enough to pop it back into place for now. She wondered if they would even be strong enough.
"I've dislocated my shoulder before, y'know."
"Is that so?" she whispered, pulling his shirt away from him as if it would cause the injury to worsen. Already his skin was starting to change colour.
"I was maybe 14?--my dad thought it would be a good idea to make me join wrestling. Thought I was too timid, especially for being kind of a husky kid," Gil continued as she traced the edge of his swelling with her eyes. She didn't dare touch it. "Obviously, I didn't wanna do it."
"Obviously," she added, because of course Gil didn't want to fight his peers as a growing teen, probably just as sweet and shy as he was now.
"So, my first practice I tried to just go limp and play dead, but the other guy was not having it," he chuckled. She watched the shadows of his breathing against the glow of the flashlight. "He ended up popping my shoulder out, he was trying so hard. I was just happy I got to quit the team."
"Gil," she scolded him with a smile. The idea of young teen Gil, shy in a wrestling leotard and just trying to make friends crossed her mind. "I imagine it hurt then, too."
He let out a breath. He was careful about it. He was putting up a good front, but she knew when he was in pain. She had seen it enough during their time on the road. "I guess it did."
She frowned. This wasn't the kind of injury they could disinfect and wrap up. They still had to get him back to the car and then back to the hospital without incident. And this was the open road; it wouldn't be easy to mow a path for them back to the cars from here.
But she could do it.
Gil wheezed as she helped him lie down again. He forgot to pretend he was fine when he was moving, his face twisted in pain. "Bill-"
"Hey," she cut him off. She didn't even remember his name. They had only gone on a run once or twice before. All she had known in the moment was that Gil was in danger. "Don't."
"He's got a girlfriend back at the hospital," Gil whispered to her. He opened his eyes, staring up at the room of the barn.
She moved to lean over his face, brushing his tears away. "I'm afraid it could happen to any of us, out here. We know the risks."
They all had to know the risks. What's-his-name had signed up for supplies duty just like the rest of them had. Ajak didn't assign people roles based on whim.
Thena leaned in, pressing her lips to his forehead. He still wasn't running a fever (good). "We'll tell her together--how hard you tried to save him."
Gil shut his eyes again. There was nothing they could do about it now. "You should get some sleep."
"Hypocrite."
"Really," he wheezed again. "You're not gonna stay up until dawn just because I'm like this. We need you at your best."
Thena looked out over the rest of the barn again. She could just barely make out where Ikaris was leaning up against a pillar, although she couldn't see if he was sleeping or not. Kingo was curled up on a stack of hay, already knocked out from all the effort they exerted.
"Thena, I'm fine."
He was far from fine. He was hurt, and suddenly their days on the road weren't so far away anymore. The sting of peril was hot on their heels again. She could remember holding onto him, willing to pull off his other arm if it meant not letting go. Kingo was the one to pull them both, yanking her backpack to get them both up the hill and towards the barn.
She opened up her bag. She should have packed for the possibility of being stuck out here, regardless. They were getting too comfortable at the hospital--too spoiled. There had to be something she could use to help Gil in some way.
"Thena," Gil sighed as she pulled out a blanket. It was barely a blanket, more some ripped old sheet for acting as a trampoline if they had to drop things from a height and stay quiet. It barely covered from his elbows down to his knees. "Really?"
"I said hush," she muttered, moving on to his bag as well. She dug out the spare shirt he brought.
Gil moved his eyes as he watched her. "It's a nice idea, but I don't know if a summer gingham shirt is gonna offer much warmth."
She made sure to huff at him, pulling it on over her white t-shirt. she didn't bother buttoning it, but she did pull it closed around her. It was big enough to feel like having a blanket around her. "No complaining."
She curled herself up next to his good arm, wrapping her arms around her knees. He was right, she would need to sleep, even if it was nodding off for a few minutes at a time. But she couldn't take her eyes off the opening to the loft. Even after she had worked her absolute hardest to pull the ladder up with her, the thought of seeing something poke a gnarled, nightmarish head up and look at her-
"Thena."
She inhaled sharply. She was falling asleep by the second. Her head tilted and she nearly flinched at the dry, borderline icy look Gil was giving her. "I'm fine."
"I'm not asking you to sleep," he pleaded with her. His good hand moved until he could tug at the shirt of his she was wearing. "Just lie down, please."
She buried her nose in the collar of it. In truth, she was exhausted, and being tired made her feel cold. But more than that, this shirt smelled like Gil, and their room at the hospital. And she needed to feel that, right now.
Thena shifted her weight, lying down next to him, still basically curled in the fetal position.
Gil was most certainly straining his eyes to look at her. But he smiled. "Feels like old times, right?"
Times when she would be unable to sleep because she had something far too precious to protect? Yes, it did feel remarkably like that. It felt like when she watched him sleep the entire night after he got grazed by a bullet, or when she watched him sleep as his fever get worse and worse.
Sometimes she still woke up from that nightmare, unable to stop herself from checking if his forehead was hot.
The thought spooked her again. The next time she fell asleep she probably wouldn't flinch awake after a few seconds again. Gil was lying flat on his back, his eyes closed. His breathing seemed even. She shimmied closer as best she could. Just once more couldn't hurt.
She touched the back of her hand to his forehead; no fever. She leaned up and touched her lips to his cheek; a little scruffy, but warm and living. With that, she could lie down beside him, not resting on him but pressing her forehead to his arm, just to have some contact with him. This was the only way she could rest.
Tomorrow, she could worry about getting Gil home again.
#Thenamesh Zombie AU#thank you so much for the ask!!!!#I hope this is something like what you had in mind#the vibe for this au is actually one of my faves because it's kind of evolved#but it still needs to feel very real in that it's still the apocalypse#of course Gil gets to know people at the hospital and chats with people at lunch and on runs#RIP Bill the Sharon Davis of the Zombie AU#the doors are barred up#Thena wakes up tomorrow still a little on edge#none of them have slept enough but they need all the daylight they can get#Thena helps Gil down the ladder VERY carefully#it's not easy#Kingo follows behind while she and Ikaris make sure they have a clear path back to the road#once they get back to the cars they can breathe a little easier#Kingo and Ikaris go in one#Thena gets Gil loaded up into the other with what they managed to salvage#she drives him back#the pain is really setting in now that the shock and adrenaline are gone#she speeds back to the hospital and Ikaris tells her off for it later#but Gil finds Bill's girlfriend and apologizes in tears#Thena offers what she can#she went back and retrieved Bill's bag#what remained of it anyway#Gil thinks it's sweet of her because she's not usually sentimental like that#she says only to make you feel better now go to Ajak#Thena watches over him extra close for the next few weeks#also yes she checks his forehead almost every night especially if she can't sleep#it's her comfort paranoia okay?
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I wish I had any way of knowing whether people have gotten Weirder™ about my name in recent years or if this has been happening behind the scenes the entire time
I've been going by Jay since I was 11. At the time nobody objected to or questioned this, at least not to me; I found out many years later that Jay is supposedly a "boy's name," but nobody ever said 'you can't use that as a nickname, it's a boy's name' and it went completely uncontested by anyone when I switched. Lots of kids announced some manner of name change at the start of a new school year in middle school; it was all normal and fine. My mom and, you know, grandmas and other relatives kept calling me Jessica, which was also fine! I didn't make a big family announcement or correct any relatives on this, I just wanted to differentiate myself from the half dozen other Jessicas in school.
For twenty years!! This has gone on being perfectly normal! My Real Name™ is an increasingly obscure bit of trivia I get to spring on friends who didn't realize I had one, which is always funny (my brother in law didn't believe me and demanded to see my driver's license). My mom and grandmas have largely still called me Jess, and that's also fine! It's nice, even! There's a particular intimacy there of having a name only my mother uses-- but, crucially, I have never asked her not to, or said that I don't like it. And as FAR AS I KNOW, this has all been true and fine for TWENTY YEARS.
My own feelings about it have never changed, and feel, to me, very straightforward: if I tell you that my name is Jay, and you decide that no it isn't, that is a problem. That's the rule. That's literally it. I had a high school teacher who asked on the syllabus for us to write down if we went by something other than our full name, who was nonetheless UNIQUE among all of my teachers from 6th grade onward in always and only ever calling me Jess, even though I signed all my work Jay, all the other teachers called me Jay, he literally asked whether anyone wanted to be called something else and I answered Jay, and I had him for two semesters. I met a work friend of Justin's once who asked upon introduction whether Jay was short for something, and when I told him it was short for Jessica he took it upon himself to call me Jess instead. This isn't me having a problem with any particular iteration of my name, this is just asshole behavior! I told you what my name was and you said 'no it isn't'. The problem here does not seem complex to me?
But within the last [hand wiggle] handful of years I feel like it keeps getting weirder? Apparently my dad and grandma argued about it at my wedding rehearsal-- she, dramatically, insisting 'I don't care, her name is Jessica, I'm going to call her that ;n;' and my dad angrily defensive that no it isn't, I go by Jay, that should be respected. And I'm sitting here listening to my dad relay this in utter bewilderment like. Well dad I love the energy but I have never been bothered at all if grandma calls me Jessica. I have never even once asked her not to or complained to anyone that she does. But also this is the grandma who HAS called me Jay more often than not?? My mom's mom never picked it up, but I was astonished to hear my dad's mom was acting like this was some New Dramatic Change that she Hated and not a thing she's literally already been doing for, again, twenty entire years. Why are you suddenly making it weird! Last weekend Justin's stepmom mentioned seeing my mom at the hospital where mom works, and how she said something like 'yes I'm Jessica's mom-- wait, no, Jay, she hates it when I do that' and I just?? I literally don't, the only problem now is that people who know me won't know who the fuck you're talking about
all of this and I'm just. I am literally just sitting here. why are we inventing problems out of this two decades later. what is going on
#I went by jess on purpose once in a college art class because there was a guy actually named jay#and I was like 'fuck this is why I dropped jessica in the first place' lmao#one time I put 'jay' on the preferred name line on medical intake paperwork and then when the doc was like 'jay?' I was like OH I hate that#oh no doctors Must Only use my paperwork name it turns out lmao#Justin's work friend calling me jess was so ??? you're not my MOM????#harvest moon awl has a 'what should I call you now that we're married' mechanic for I assume Darling or whatever#but one time I had my video game husband call me jess#justin also in real life has Jess Privilages but he doesn't want them because HE has only ever known me as jay#IT'S CONTEXTUAL. IT'S NOT THE NAME IT'S THE CONTEXT. IT'S THE RESPECT OR LACK THEREOF BEHIND WHAT NAME YOU USE#both my parents suddenly overcorrecting is weird but ultimately fine because the intention is clearly good#my grandma suddenly acting like it's a problem sets my teeth on edge. hey. this was never a problem before. what do YOU think this is about.#uhhh not to get. into it but. my dad is also almost definitely projecting baggage onto the situation that's got nothing to do with me#dad at christmas: it's just disrespectful! if someone tells you their name or their pronouns you don't get to decide they're wrong!!#me: I completely agree. not actually relevant to whether mom specifically calls me jess because that is in fact allowed but. I mean.#me: if you hypothetically told YOUR mom you go by something else now she SHOULD just use that instead. you're not wrong. hypothetically.#AAAANYWAY not to tangent on THAT too much#for ME having a nickname was so normal and it's only very abruptly been made weird by others and I'm baffled and annoyed about it#my mom's stepsister I see every handful of years: hi jess-- oh wait your mom said you go by jay now?#me: I've gone by jay since 2001 what is going ON--#I don't think it even occurred to me to wonder about Gender when it was mr hughes 'jess'ing me in high school but in retrospect I wonder#THE THING IS JAY ISN'T A MAN'S NAME TO ME. I MADE IT UP I DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD A GENDER. IT'S A GIRL'S NAME TO ME BECAUSE IT'S MY NAME!!#DON'T BE FUCKING WEIRD!!!#hhhuuaagh#I've talked about all this before but it came up again TWICE at christmas in ways that made me go STOP BEING WEIRD lmao#so it's on my mind again#about me
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I find it so funny that both steddie and ronance are Eddie and Robin looking at KiNg Steve Harrington and Nancy "suCh a PRisS" Wheeler and realizing that they're actually really badass and kind and sweet and having a lot of gay feelings about that as they should
#like they both know that they're hot but then s4 and it turns out that they are not only decent humans#but eddie discovers that steve just cares about people and is so earnest and a good fucking dude#and eddie is such a sl*t for kindness like all steve had to do was thank him and say to him to not be so hard on himself#for eddie to turn into a babbling mess#meanwhile robin knew nancy was badass since s3 but she never really realized how fucking just sweet she was?#and then there nance was asking her if 'that means we are friends?' with shyness and robin was gone on her#like it was genually so fucking sweet and robin still aches from it from the way nancy wheeler is a badass and stubborn#and full of hard edges but then she can be so fucking *sweet*#both eddie and robin are waay to gay for this two#meanwhile steve and nancy are just looking at the two stumbling disasters and are like 'fuck *heart eyes* i want that one'#steddie#ronance#fruity four#stranger things#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#eddie munson
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can someone who is or personally knows a system tell me it's going to be okay? my fucking girlfriend is gone and I'm scared
#mine#and sad#it's only been a night technically but she's never been gone this long#because of how badly things went w her other girlfriend one of her alters informed me that she'll be taking a break to reevaluate things#and now I'm stuck w the guy who called my tights ugly#I'm so mad at her girlfriend for driving her over the edge#I guess she had no way of knowing that would happen but that doesn't really make me feel better
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imagine being kniesy with your girlfriend in minnesota (which, sidenote: really? minnesota?) on one hand and your definitely-not-situationship with your beautiful talented goalie on the other hand and then bam! said not-situationship starts flirting with his fellow beautiful talented goalie. please keep him in your prayers this is a lot for one boy to handle.
#like listen sometimes you ARE just 21 and the edge IS razor thin and you’re trying hard to play good hockey and do things The Right Way#and a sexuality crisis does not fit in to your schedule right now! so you’ll keep pretending he doesn’t make your heart skip a beat and#acting like you have never once thought about what it might be like to kiss him. just to see#but then he starts flirting with your fellow teammate and suddenly it’s much harder to ignore the burn at the back of your throat#(and did he have to pick someone who is ALSO tall ALSO blue eyed ALSO brown haired… you’d hate to think that you were just his type!!)#really obsessed with the fact that i have apparently taking a hard turn into full rpf-ing on the dash#i blame bes being gone she used to be the one to receive all my insane thoughts. now you all have to suffer instead.#m speaks#2360
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speculating on some craggy theories in re the rooney mara/audrey hepburn precipitation (my own metaphore). It feels almost like a kind of taboo, but the pipeline does exist for people who were aware of Audrey but weren't particularly drawn to her and then saw and loved Carol and slowly began to coagulate Rooney and Audrey and love Audrey and Audrey's films because alot of the things that people find attractive about them are comparable. I honestly don't believe Carol would have had half the magical too-good-to-be-trueness about it had rooney not looked so very much like audrey, and had she not played into the demure, doe-eyed personality of Therese to suit that likeness. Especially given the perameters of the era and Hayne's directorial style. It gives the film this larger than life quality because the impossibility of Audrey (1.) being alive and in her early 20s again and more importantly (2.) having relations with another woman, especially cate blanchette, morphs into this total fantasy when you watch Rooney nod to this projection of Audrey in her performance. Of course, of course, the film is good for a myriad of higher ranking items in the list of reasons why it was so successful. But I feel the Audrey tie in has a lot more carriage than people are giving it credit for.
I think Rooney as a performer in general has a lot more depth and capacity for detail than Audrey. She gave therese as a role much more subtlety and nuance and I feel that that too adds to the fantasy. The fantasy that maybe if Audrey was asked to play therese she would put the same amount of realism into the character that Rooney does.
still workshopping the affect of the children's hour on the Idea/persona/legacy of Audrey Hepbrn because there's absolutely something to a preexisting conception of audrey having relations with another woman...Carol(film) being almost an half accidental fruition of that conception. couldn't say what the casting was like but putting someone who looks like audrey in a 1950s period piece next to a performer like cate blanchette who might as well be a 1950s hollywood star based purely on acclaim and period beauty standards canNOT be an accident.
#another reason why I wish todd had gone just a little angstier with it really super subverted it and been truer to highsmith's life#it would have really tipped it over the edge for me into making it one of the best lesbian movies#it is really a fantasy film#its a romance of epic proportion by lesbian standards and its so fantastical in quality#the children's hour#carol
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you know youre a little too deep in the brainrot when "would it be fucked up to be straight in the society of Heven" is a genuine thought you have had and seriously debated with yourself
#which sounds really silly to say out loud but then the reason it might be fucked up is because the men of heven are essentially#imprisoned and brainwashed from birth so the funny haha joke gets real dark real quick#but it IS interesting to think about. i generally assume lesbians is seen as the default given the society but thats not Textual#and like. even if it is not all angels would be#and reproduction???#i want more heven lore i want to know about their society#there was some incredible set up in there with NO follow through#and that makes me sad#nyxtalks#angela#angela odinsdottir#heven#i could honestly continue on this i think the topics really interesting#could an anchorite consent? even if theyre free? could sera consent?#(i do personally believe the way seras character is written she would be the one anchorite to be able to consent. her free will is#integral to her character. its who she IS. but its still on the edge)#how would angels feel about het in general? w people from other planets?#do they have state sanctioned assault or do they reproduce a different way?#urgh#anyway u know the brain rot has gone too far now#someone please read angela so i can talk to you about the themes of fear and love and not get stuck thinking about hevens society even more
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