#Okay Batdad

[lokutofu]

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

[theresstilltime]

you're never to old for your dad too carry you 😔

[batfamhastwitter]

A little mini update while I work on part 8! I just wanted to do a little explanation on jason's thought process and why he didn't tell people.

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[bruciemilf]

The Wayne manor is not a quiet place.

Someone Is always doing something, talking about anything, teasing, bantering, playfully slandering, so Bruce grew accustomed to noise. Its hard not to, with his nest of birds.

But this particular topic has him on mute;

"Why do YOU get him when he's old?"

" Oh my GOD, Jason, I'm LITERALLY the oldest. You ALWAYS have to get everything!"

Jason isn't at all interested in Dick's dramatics. He wraps all 6'4 inches around Bruce's leg like an affectionate leech. "You're the fucking meanest! You'll probably feed B those gross ass protein shakes and force him to watch re runs of Realest Housewives of Gotham!"

"YOU TRIED TO BLOW HIM UP!"

Cass is strong like a tsunami and silent as a snake, jumping on Bruce's back, beautiful eyes full of threat. " Dad stays. Mine."

Bruce pipes up, " I have a retirement plan--"

"Getting railed everyday at the Kent farm isn't a retirement!"

Tim gives Steph a look of disgust. "Gross."

Damian isn't above pulling out his swords. " If I don't get Baba, everyone is dying. Me included. "

"Damian. What did I say about threatening your siblings with murder?" Bruce asks expectantly.

" Oh, I'm not threatening, baba. I'm making a vow."

Alfred doesn't pry his attention from the chamomile tea he's preparing. " Master Bruce stays with me."

"...Alfred, I don't think you'll...You know, be around when Bruce retires--"

"Was that a contradiction?"

They all gulp. The argument is settled quickly, and Bruce spends the rest of his evening with head on Alfred's lap and his hand in Jason's hair, petting like a cat, and listening to RHOG on the TV.

He loves the noise.

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[madeofstardust17]

No one will ever convince me that Bruce doesn't have a nickname for each one of his boys:

Dick is Chum

Jason is Lad

Tim is Sweetheart

And Damian is Bud, or Kid

[librarianbabs]

batboys selfie inspired by @superbattrash’s lovely fic the cost of being a good dad because how could I resist

[sunnycanwrite]

Bruce Wayne might not be sure how to Dad properly. But that man should adopt me anyway. I can be the common sense of the family.

[gorefatale]

Y'know what's weird? After my dad died I think I've tried over a gazillion coping methods, and for whatever reason the only one that worked for me is consuming media about fathers and their children. Wether it'd be a fanfic, a movie, a show, and other stuff, it doesn't matter. As long as it depicts a dad who loves his children, then it's right up my alley. I swear I never cared about Bruce Wayne and Damian Wayne's relationship up until my dad died. I swear I never cared about Glamrock Freddy and Gregory's relationship up until my dad died. I swear I never cared about Kratos and Atreus' relationship up until my dad died. The point is, I never gave two shits about the "father and son/daughter" trope up until my dad died. Now, it's sort of become an obsession (I think?). Like I'd literally watch a dad and his daughter or son or whatever on the street and I'd be like, "Damn, that's so cute." At this point I don't know if this is healthy or not, but it sure feels a lot better than thinking about my dead dad. Speaking of my dad, I genuinely cannot think about him without remembering seeing his cold body in a casket. Like that man was the most lively and kind soul I've ever known and all of a sudden he's just... Dead? Like what the heck? Other than that, the way me and my family found out about his death was through a PICTURE that a stranger had sent to my mom. That stranger was actually just a really nice person who saw my dad die (among a crowd of other people. It was messy :/). I'm not sure why the stranger did that though; they sent a picture of my dad who had just experienced a heart attack. He was lying on his car seat, and because he was driving when he had the attack, the car ran out of control and crash, so yeah, that's why there was a ton of witnesses. Anyway, that's all I wanted to share, bye.

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

Wfa PTA mom Bruce but instead of it just being limited to his kids he also brings snacks to League Meetings

[vroomian]

Oh my god Yrz/Bruce Wayne!!!

Okay it starts with Yrz being reborn in Gotham still poor as dirt, but realizing that It’s Gotham, Yrz does what he does best: grind. He learns to fight and hack and launches a Very Very Successful author career (mostly by ripping of hits from his past life, because morals are for suckers. What like jkr is gonna cross dimensions and sue him for making Harry Potter not antisememetic and white as fuck and including more LGBTQIA characters? (Get fucked Joanne :)))

(Also Yrz probably does some magic research because he just finds that shit cool)

By the time he’s seventeen Yrz is well on his way to being a multi millionaire with a strangle hold on popular culture (like he’d stick to just books ha ha. Yrz Has No Chill) just from mining his past life lol. That means being invited to Rich Person Parties, and inevitably meeting Bruce Wayne face to face.

And what face it is!

Bruce Wayne is canonicaly hot as hell and Yrz has never minded a fling. The two of them have a occasional sex thing (Bruce Wayne: am I not….completely straight????) (Yrz has no idea he’s caused a sexuality crisis in Batman of all people lol). I’m thinking that Bruce is like 7-10 years older than Yrz here because that’s funnier to me personally. This fling goes on for years, until Bruce adopts his first child and somehow Yrz gets tangled up in that mess.

And then the Feelings start catching up!!!

[angstandhappiness]

DUDE

Literally everything about Batman is so much better when you think about all the little behind the scenes things that must have happened to make Bruce such a goddamn dad

Like yeah he’s really bad with change and his communication abilities are really lacking due to being extremely heavily isolated and traumatized for the majority of his formative years, but like

I am at least 99% convinced that all the bat-named things like the batmobile, batcomputer, batfridge, etc., were originally normal phrases like ‘the car,’ ‘the computer,’ etc., but then Robin showed up he started calling them bat-things because he was nine, and Batman went along with it.

It’s too late to turn back now. Too late to make excuses to anyone. He’s committed. Nightwing doesn’t say anything. The other Robins have no idea. No one has any idea.

Everyone thinks Batman is legitimately obsessed with bats.

No, he just wanted his cave to be child-friendly, and when it turned out Robin #1 really liked the bat idea and thought it was cool enough that it should be incorporated into everything, Batman fucking incorporated it into everything. He just wanted to make the kid happy, damnit

His son is terrible at naming things.

[bruciemilf]

Bruce texting " I'm writing my will. Would anyone like anything specifically?" In the group chat. With no expectations of his kids ripping the door of his office open. With Clark in toe. Well. Should've thought twice

[madeofstardust17]

You guys idk if anyone has read my Tim sick fic, but anyways I'm writing the second part and guys. If you thought Bruce was soft in the first part. Lemme tell yall you are not ready. I gave him ONE scene in his pov and my fucking god. Wtf he loves his child so so much I'm. I didn't even plan it it just happened. You guys are gonna love it so much trust me.

[lavenderauthor]

Title: Turn Your Fear To a Weapon by LavenderAuthor (4.8k)

Rating: Mature

Fandom: Batman

Relationship: Jonathan Crane & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Batfamily Members & Jason Todd

Summary: It was a miracle they haven't encountered more Fear Toxin over the years, Scarecrow always using it more as a threat or was stopped before he could even release his newest formula on the Bats, yet the rumors of Red Hood being unaffected by Fear Toxin, whispers of how he's walked out of clouds without so much of a tremor, seemed to get to Dr.Crane.

How unfortunate for Red Hood that he lost his helmet during their next run-in, allowing unfiltered Fear Toxin in its gaseous form to fill his lungs.

(Or what happens if Fear Toxin has no effect on Jason purely because he's dealt with so much shit in his short life and his Fight or Flight is shot to all hell)

[angstandhappiness]

HAH

@nightshade86 I almost hate to say it but that doesn't actually sound like a bad parenting method. Children with too much energy tend to misbehave as an outlet, so getting them to spar will help redirect their energy and focus their minds

AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)

Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.

He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.

His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.

This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.

He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.

A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.

It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.

Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.

Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.

"You don't call, you don't write"

"Red Hood."

"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"

"I was at the cave last night."

"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."

Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.

And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.

And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.