#OR they’ve been there for ages but decided to start commenting!!!

[literaphobe]

One thing that surprised about the MLB fandom was how chaste it all is. (Ad least my bubble)

I don't think it's just my dirty mind. But the show itself, seams to be made by absurdly horny people.

And I do like to see a fandom of mostly wholesome identity shenanigans, and romance.

I'm just glad we have people like you, to remind us that we can have those things and also use what is in our pants.

I find it cute too!! I also like that on tumblr people are all just chill ^_^ like for me sex is just. very normal. like it’s an expression of desire and I like playing around w it and I like writing rated E fics bc it’s freeing to me to just get to say whatever I want and write however I feel like. so that’s why I make the content I do! some people are into it, some people aren’t, and on mlb tumblr I don’t feel very policed and that’s a nice feeling. people are supportive here even if they aren’t personally into what u make and I think everyone deserves so many flowers for that 💐🌷🌹🥀🌼🌺🪷🪻 heheheheheheh

anyway for those who haven’t heard, tvl ch6 is OUT NOW IN THEATERS NEAR YOU! to everyone who hasn’t read/commented I soooooo miss u so bad and need to know what u think soooo bad but im also like waiting so patiently bc u all should take ur time 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎❤️‍🩹💓💗💖💘💝💟

[bvbygrl-writes]

Season of The Witch (1)

Pairing: Jacob Black x Witch!Reader x Edward Cullen

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: (Y/n) (L/n) is 19 and still trying to figure out the world. She isn't sure of a lot of things but she is sure of one: she's gonna have her cake and eat it too.

A/N: I recently watched the Twilight Saga for the first time and fell in love with it but I noticed there's not a lot of recent fics so I decided to make them! This doesn't follow the twilight series exactly but the elements and settings are still the same. Everyone is aged up (I mean does Edward really need to be tbf). If this gets enough feedback in my inbox and comments I will continue but this is mainly a tester to see how it does!

Warnings: N/A but it will be 18+ at some point most likely. Minors and blanks dni.

Everyone always talks about how hard it is moving in the middle of the school year. But, what they never talk about is how hard it is to move once you’ve just graduated. Friend groups are already established and due to college, no one is looking to meet anyone new until they’re off to whichever university they’ve decided to attend.

You, however, weren’t off to university. You knew it wasn’t right from you. Your parents supported your decision. In fact, they were thrilled…but not for the reasons you originally thought. Your dad wanted to move back to his home town of Forks, Washington and your mom, being a lover of nature, thought it was the perfect change of scenery. According to the conversation they had with you, it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision either. Your dad had gotten a job as head surgeon and your mom had bought a space to turn into the bakery she had dreamed of owning for years. It was something they had been wanting to do for years but due to the fact you were doing so well in school, they hadn’t wanted to rip you away from that. 

Part of you, the part of you that didn’t want to admit it to yourself, wish that they had. Maybe then you’d have a better chance at your 20s not being so lonely in a town that so far on the drive from the airport, seemed to be desolate and void of any youth. But, it wasn’t all bad. With all the greenery and nature, you’d be able to focus on growing your powers more.

You came from a long lineage filled with powerful and strong witches, your mother being one of them. On your thirteenth birthday, your powers finally presented themselves and everything began to make sense for you. You had always felt different from your peers and having the confirmation that you were healed something in you. Your mom had been mentoring you and through her, you had learned so much over the years. As your eyes gazed out the rain littered car window, focusing on the ocean of trees that passed in a blur, one thing she had said stuck out to you the most. ‘A witch is at her strongest when surrounded by nature’. 

Every weekend, she used to drive 6 hours there and back to a small patch of woods outside of the city. But now, you had access to the forest in any direction you looked.

“I’m thinking of starting a garden in the yard, (Y/n/n), what do ya think?” your mom asked, causing your head to turn in her direction. Her body was turned back to face you, the small wrinkles near her mouth creasing as she grinned. She always had an air of vibrancy and brightness to her that made you question if you were even related sometimes. It was like you could practically feel her emotions buzzing off of her and piercing into your heart. You hummed mulling over your response, turning your attention back to your window, watching as the trees slowly began to turn into homes the further you drove into town.

“Sounds good.” you responded. Your limited word choice was something you had gotten from your father. He wasn’t as introverted as you were, but he only spoke when he found the conversation particularly interesting. And when it came to his wife, he found everything interesting.

“I think that’s a great idea, honey! There’s a lot of space at the house and I know if anyone can make it magical, it’s you.” You watched in the rear view mirror as his eyes flickered towards your mom, full of admiration. Your mom giggled at his small joke, shoving his shoulder in a playful manner. “Maybe in the spring, you could get some fruit growing, use it in your bakery.”

“Why wait till spring? I could do it now with the flick of a finger.” she mused, holding out her palm. Golden sparks hovered above it, swirling in a circular motion. Your dad smiled at her, shaking his head as he pulled into a driveway which you assumed was your new home. Sticking your head out the window, you looked up at it in awe.

In the city, your house was a lot smaller. Lots of identical homes sandwiched far too close together for your liking. But this house, it had character. Faded green framework, a bay window, and a semi wrap-around porch. You noticed a window on the second story, a small balcony attached to it. In your mind you had already claimed it. The slamming of the van door broke you out of your brewing daydream. Looking on the lawn, you internally groaned as you saw people. Just what you wanted to see after a 7 hour car ride. Before you could duck down and pretend you couldn’t exist, your dad turned his head, shaking it as if he could predict what you were about to do.

“(Y/n), come meet my friends!” he called to you. Sighing, you pulled your cardigan closer to your body before hopping out the back seat, stretching your arms as the snap, crackled, and popped. You were finally able to get a good look at the people on your lawn. An older white man with brunette hair, and a thick mustache. Another in a wheelchair, with long, thick black hair, a cowboy hat perched on his head. You recognized them from the pictures from your dad’s office. “These are my old buddies, Billy Black and Charlie Swan. We grew up together!” he explained. Putting on your best smile, you stuck your hand out, shaking each of their respective hands.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you both after hearing dad talk my ears off about you for years.” You joked, causing both men to chuckle. 

“If it makes you feel any better, your dad’s always bragging about ya, kid.” Charlie said. You smile slightly at your dad as he tells you that. Your dad has never been a stranger of telling you how proud he is of you, so it doesn’t shock you that much but it’s still nice to hear it.

“Enough chatting, how’s bout I grab some beers from the cooler and we can start unpacking this uhaul? We’ve got some time but let me tell ya’, the Mrs. does not pack light.” Your dad speaks over his shoulder as he makes his way to the trunk. You hear the sound of ice shuffling as he grabs a few beers out, cracking them open on the side of the car.

“Everything has value, David! You’ll be thanking me when it saves you the money!” Your mom says from the open door, huffling as she grabs another box from the porch, carrying it further into the house. Shaking your head, you smile some. At least some things haven’t changed.

After a while, you finally got all of your boxes into your new room. The one with the balcony as you had hoped. All your heavier furniture was still on the lawn as Mr.Black had informed you his son would be coming soon to bring it up for you. In the meantime, you had time to put your other things up. Standing in the middle of the room, you close your eyes, focusing your mind for a bit as your body begins to levitate, just barely hitting the high ceilings. Waving your hand, your rolled up rug unfolds placing itself in the middle of your room. You squint your eyes until you’re able to locate the box labeled ‘books’, hovering your hand in their direction. You move it to the built-in bookshelves on the wall, all of your books organizing themselves perfectly. Magic has its perks. 

You decide to go for the books next until there’s a knock on your door startling you. You fall to the ground with a loud thud, groaning as the door swings open. Looking up, your body grows warm at the sight in front of you. There’s a taller boy around your age, shirtless with your mattress under one of his arms. Due to his lack of shirt, you’re able to take in every inch of his chiseled chest and the tattoo on his arm. You recognized the symbol from one of the spellbooks your mother showed you but couldn’t recall the meaning. As you pry your eyes away from his torso, you’re able to focus on his face which is somehow even better than what you were just looking at. Gorgeous brown eyes, thick brows, and pretty pink lips. He was somehow rugged and cute at the same time but you had no time to focus on that as he dropped your mattress on the ground, pulling you up with ease.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a concerned tone. You looked away in embarrassment, clearing your throat as you backed away from his hold.

“Fine. Just tripped over this stupid rug.” You mumbled. He looks you up and down, laughing as he returns to the mattress, lifting it with ease. Almost too much. He leans it against the wall furthest from you before returning to the doorway. He smiles at you, throwing you a subtle wink.

“Just in case. I’ll be back with the rest, try not to hurt yourself in the meantime.” He teases, gone just as quickly as he came. You stand frozen in place, listening as he makes his way down the stairs, the sounds of his steps fading. Once you were sure he was gone, you walk over to the balcony doors, stepping out into the chilly fall air. You let out a groan as you lean over it, playing with the idea of jumping off. At least you wouldn’t be able to embarrass yourself any further. 

2

[genshinluvr]

Pictures of a Shining Star

Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: Nanook's sudden disappearance has left you feeling sad. To cheer you up, and without your knowledge, Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, Caelus, March, and Himeko decided to get you a phone! March appoints herself as your unofficial official photographer and decides to take pictures of the littlest things for you and sends them your (and the men's) way.

Note: This took me a while to post because I was distracted by HSR. I made a new HSR account and was finishing up the quest in Belobog. So, yeah, that's why it took me a while to continue, finish, and post this fic 💀 This fic is longer than the first two fics I posted in the HSR series, so I hope you all enjoy this fic 🥹 After posting this fic on Tumblr and AO3, I'm heading to bed. I'll make and post the mini-fic for the Isekai Genshin series when I wake up because I've been lacking sleep. I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: Kind of starts off depressing in the beginning

Word Count: 9.7k

You expect to see Nanook when you wake up in the abyss, but unfortunately, you do not see the tall figure that once towered over you when you woke up in the void. The same tall figure you first met in the state of unconsciousness when you first arrived at the Xianzhou Luofu not long ago. This was the fifth time you didn’t see Nanook in your dreams, and the last time you talked to Nanook felt like ages ago.

Now, here you are, sitting at the table in the Astral Express, shoving a spoon full of cereal into your mouth before munching it glumly. From a distance, March, Himeko, Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus look at you worriedly. If the others had to be honest, you look like shit. You have bags under your eyes, your hair is unkempt— you did wake up from your sleep not long ago and didn’t bother to change out of your pajamas or brush your hair before leaving your room— and you look very upset.

Himeko clears her throat. “Does anyone want to speak to [Y/N]? They look upset. Did something happen?” asks Himeko, looking at the four people beside her.

March sighs, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. “Ever since [Y/N] regained their memories, they’ve been a little bit off. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of communication with the Aeon or if it was because they’re not in their universe,” March replies before letting out another sad sigh.

Dan Heng opens his mouth to comment, but a porcelain bowl scraping and squeaking across the table cuts him off. You push the bowl to the side, laying your head on the table and closing your eyes. You weren’t sure why the lack of Nanook was hurting you. Perhaps it’s because Nanook was the first…. Person (being?)…. You met in this universe. 

That, and because Nanook told you that the both of you will meet face-to-face soon, only to disappear without a trace. Gosh, you want to be mad at Nanook, but you can’t get yourself to be upset. Plus, you have another can of worms to deal with, and that is learning how to survive in another universe without accidentally getting yourself killed. 

Footsteps approach your table, and the chair in front of you slides out from underneath the table. You open your eyes and turn to see Mr. Yang sitting across from you. You blink at the older man before sitting up, running your fingers through your unkempt hair. Mr. Yang leans in his seat and clears his throat, sliding the chair closer to the table.

“Do you want to talk about it?” asks Mr. Yang, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

You shake your head, resting your chin on the table. “Not really. I’m afraid that if I talk about it, I’ll start crying,” you mumble, letting yourself stare off into space. 

You and Mr. Yang sat in silence. Dan Heng, March, and Caelus slowly make their way toward the table where you and Mr. Yang are sitting. March sits beside you, while Dan Heng and Caelus sit beside Mr. Yang. 

March rests her chin on the table before pressing her cheek on the cool tabletop. “How are you feeling, [Y/N]? You woke up late today,” says March, poking your cheek lightly with her manicured nails. 

You hum, closing your eyes. “I couldn’t sleep last night. Too many things were occupying my mind, and it kept me up most of the night,” you reply.

March gives you a sympathetic smile. “Oh, cheer up, [Y/N]! We got something that’ll cheer you up!” says March, looking at the three men sitting before you and her. The three men stare at March blankly, making the girl laugh nervously. “I saaaaid, ‘We got something that’ll cheer you up!’” 

Again, the three men continue to give March a blank stare. You look between March and the three men sitting before you, confused about what’s supposed to happen. March lets out an exasperated groan, throwing her head back out of frustration. In the distance, Himeko is giggling in the corner with Pom-Pom beside her, shaking his head with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Were we supposed to do something?” Dan Heng asks, raising an eyebrow at March.

March nods rapidly. “Yes! When I said that we have something that’ll cheer [Y/N] up, that was supposed to be your cue!” March exclaims, throwing her hands in the air before rubbing her throbbing temples with a frustrated sigh. 

Caelus laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “In case you haven’t noticed, we weren’t informed of this so-called cue of yours,” Caelus interjects, puckering his lips while staring at the fuming pink-haired girl in front of him.

You reach for your bowl of cereal to slurp the milk, but March unintentionally smacks it out of your hand, sending the bowl in the air before it shatters into a huge mess. You, Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, March, and Caelus stare at the mess on the glossy tile floor. Pom-Pom waddles to your table, glaring at the pink-haired girl.

“You made a mess!” exclaims Pom-Pom, crossing his arms over his chest with a small growl. “Do you know I work tirelessly to make sure the Astral Express is in tip-top shape!?” 

March laughs nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry, Pom-Pom! I-I didn’t mean to smack the bowl from [Y/N]’s hands!” March apologizes. 

You get up from your seat, grab a napkin from the table and begin cleaning up the mess. Pom-Pom grumbles under his breath before waddling off. While you’re cleaning up the mess, March is giving the three men an earful while making sure you didn’t hear the conversation. While you’re wiping up the mess, someone walks up to you, stopping in front of the shattered bowl. You look up to see Caelus, who kneels in front of you and holds a box out to you. You stare at the box before grabbing it from Caelus’ hand. 

“What’s this? You guys didn’t need to get me anything,” you murmur, unwrapping the box while Caelus watches you with eagle eyes. 

Caelus clears his throat. “We got it for you because it’s the best way to communicate with each other while we’re far away. In case you’re on the Astral Express and we’re at Belobog or the Xianzhou Luofu, you can reach out to any of us,” replies Caelus.

Your heart sinks into your chest. “Oh, no. You guys got me a phone?” You ask, looking at Caelus and the other three with disbelief. 

It’s not like you were opposed to getting a phone, but you didn’t think they would buy you a phone themselves. Especially since they bought it without your knowledge. You hand the box back to Caelus before picking up the broken pieces of the bowl, placing them on the napkin, and tossing them away into the trash. You grab a broom and begin sweeping the tiny pieces into the dustpan.

Dan Heng looks at you quizzically. “Did you not want us to get you a phone? If we didn’t get you one, how would we be able to contact you while we’re far away or end up getting separated?” Dan Heng asks.

“Plus, when we go Trailblazing together, you can make new memories with us! I volunteer to be your photographer!” March says proudly, raising her hands in the air with a big smile. 

You stroke your chin, staring at the ground. “New memories, huh?” You murmur. “I’m not opposed to making new memories with you guys.”

March perks up and cheers loudly before bouncing over to you and throwing her arms around your shoulders with glee. You snort and wrap your arm around her, making sure not to drop the broom on the ground. After cleaning the mess on the floor, March dragged you to the nearest chair and had you set your phone up while Dan Heng, Caelus, and Mr. Yang hung around in case you needed any assistance with setting up your phone.

“Oooh! You know what we should do after [Y/N] officially sets their phone up?” March asks, clapping her hands with excitement.

Mr. Yang stares at March, raising his eyebrows at the pink-haired girl. “And what is that?” asks Mr. Yang.

“We should take pictures! Lots and lots of ‘em!” exclaims March. “And as [Y/N]’s unofficial official photographer, I will be the one to take all of the pictures!” 

Once your phone is officially set up, March begins passing your phone around so other people can start saving their phone numbers into your phone before adding your number to their phone. Once your phone returns to you, you put your phone in your pocket, but March stops you.

She holds her hand out in front of you. “Ah, ah, ah! Don’t put your phone away just yet, [Y/N]! We still need to take pictures! I am not letting you walk around without a background for your home and lock screen!” says March, propping her other hand on her hips.

You stare at the girl in front of you. “We can do that after I’m done getting ready? I don’t want to look like a mess in the pictures,” you say.

“Pfft! It’s okay! It’s not like the photos are leaving your phone anyway!” March says.

You shake your head. “Still, I want to look decent,” you mumble.

Realization hits March a few seconds later, and her eyes light up. A smile stretches across her face, giving you a knowing look. You stare at March, heat rushing to your cheeks. You’re hoping no one aside from March notices your change of demeanor. Plus, if March is going to be your unofficial official photographer, you might as well try to look your best in the photos, right? Especially when other people will end up in the pictures soon.

March pretends to let out an exasperated sigh, slumping forward. “Alright, alright! As a professional and your unofficial official photographer, I cannot have you look terrible in your pictures. You may go get ready and freshen up for the pictures…. As long as you give me your phone before getting ready!” says March, holding her hand out.

You shrug your shoulders and hand your phone over to March without questioning her. You walk to your room to get ready for the day after multiple delays before breakfast. After getting ready for the day, you return to where the others are waiting for you, only to see March take a selfie with Dan Heng, Caelus, Mr. Yang, and Himeko. March looks up from your phone, and she beams at you with excitement.

“You’re back! And don’t you look cute! Trying to impress a certain someone?” March teases, poking you when you stand beside her.

You huff and look away from March, snatching your phone from her hands. “How many pictures did you take on my phone while I was away?” You ask, scrolling through your gallery.

March giggles, swaying to the side while watching you search for your gallery. The way you’re scrolling through your phone and searching for the gallery reminds her of Mr. Yang. She wonders if you know how to change profile pictures, unlike Mr. Yang. Poor guy couldn't figure it out and tried to message Caelus about it, only for Caelus to be no help at all. After two minutes of searching for the gallery, you finally found it. Once you clicked the gallery app, your eyes nearly popped out of your head.

“Two hundred?! How are there almost two hundred pictures in the gallery already, March?!” You screeched, turning to look at March incredulously. 

March holds her hands up defensively. “Hey, hey, hey! Taking pictures wasn’t the only thing I did, alright? I also added you to our group chat!” March says, clicking through your phone and showing you the group chat she added you to.

The Astral Express Family. That’s cute. 

March claps her hands. “Okay! Now that [Y/N] is finished with cutesy-ing up for a special someone, let's take pictures now!” March announces.

“Oh? Who’re you ‘cutesy-ing’ up for, [Y/N]?” asks Mr. Yang, approaching you with Dan Heng and Caelus at his side.

Your eyes widen, and you squeak, “Uh! Me? Cutesy-ing up for someone? I’m not cutesy-ing up for anyone, Mr. Yang! I just want to look decent in the pictures in case someone,” you look at March with a glare, “sends the pictures around!” 

Mr. Yang raises his eyebrows at your response, a faint smirk appearing on his face as he gazes at you with amusement. You feel your face heat up as you press your lips into a thin line before nudging March’s side. March snickers and guides you to the front of the three men before standing beside you. Himeko stands beside March, and the six of you take a group selfie. The following picture was of you, March, Dan Heng, and Caelus. Then the next was of you, Dan Heng, Caelus, and Mr. Yang.

This went on for a while, and the next thing you know, as you had expected, March has you send the pictures to the Astral Express Family group chat for everyone to save on their phones. You didn’t think March was going to have you send the images to the group chat, but boy, you’re glad you decided to, and you quote from March, cutesy up for the photos. You sure as hell did not want any of them to have an awful picture of you on their phones. You’re okay with sending the photos to each person individually if they wish to have the images. Still, March suggested sending it through the group chat to save some time. 

While in the midst of sending the last ten photos to the group chat, March skips up to you and loops her arms around yours, diverting your attention from your phone. 

“So! Are you ready to go to Belobog? Gepard and Sampo kept pestering Caelus about wanting to see you,” says March, wiggling her eyebrows at you with a teasing smile. “Right, Caelus?” March asks, leaning to the side to look at the silver-haired male.

Caelus approaches you and March with Mr. Yang and Dan Heng at his side. “I wouldn’t say that. Both Gepard and Sampo talked about wanting to hang out with us again before we go to the Xianzhou Luofu. I think it’d be nice to hang out with the two of them before we visit the Xianzhou Luofu,” says Caelus. 

You blink at Caelus, March, Mr. Yang, and Dan Heng. “Wait, we’re stopping by the Xianzhou Luofu today after we stop by Belobog?” You ask, cocking your head to the side. 

Mr. Yang looks at the time before sighing. “That is if we have time. Who knows how long we will be at Belobog,” replies Mr. Yang.

Everyone walks to the Parlor Car and begins taking their seats after Pom-Pom announces the Astral Express is taking off soon. You sit on the couch beside March and close your eyes, resting your head on the back cushions, bracing yourself for take off. You still weren’t used to the feeling of the Astral Express traversing through space, and it sometimes made you feel nauseous and dizzy. 

You poke March’s arm to grab her attention. March looks up from her phone and scoots close when you gesture for her to come closer. “I’m going to take a nap. Can you wake me up when we arrive at Jarilo-VI or Belobog?”

March nods before looking back at her phone. You close your eyes and relax against the cushions. Your eyelids grow heavy as you slowly drift to sleep. When you open your eyes, you’re back in the abyss. The stars glimmer around you, and the void is silent. It’s so quiet that if you were to listen closely, you would’ve been able to hear your heart beating against your chest.

“You’re here,” says a familiar voice.

You turn your head and see Nanook towering over you. Nanook gazes at you with glowing gold eyes as you take a step closer. You weren’t sure if Nanook was okay with you getting any closer, but since you didn’t see any negative reaction, you stopped in front of Nanook’s towering form.

You give Nanook a smile. “I should be the one to say that. After all, you’re the one that completely disappeared after that incident,” you say, sitting on the ground. “Where did you go? Were you upset with me by any chance?” You ask, hugging your knees to your chest. 

Nanook hums, refusing to look away from you. “That, I cannot answer. But what I can tell you is that we will be face-to-face in person very soon. I apologize if I made you worried. That was never my intention,” says Nanook, smiling at you.

You pucker your lips before turning around, having your back face Nanook’s direction. Nanook blinks at you quizzically, staring at your back while you stare into the void. Nanook’s lips twitch, trying to fight back a smile that’s forming. Even though Nanook has known you for a short amount of time, Nanook can tell that you’re sulking. 

Nanook pokes you. “Are you upset with me? You’re not upset with me, are you?” asks Nanook, poking your back for the second time.

You huff in response, letting yourself fall over on your side, still hugging your knees to your chest. Nanook lets out an amused laugh before gently sliding his hands underneath your body and lifting you. Nanook stares at you while you continue to have your back facing his direction. Nanook sighs and caresses your hair while you continue to sulk in silence.

Nanook looks down at you, his face a few feet from your body. “If I made you upset and worried, I apologize. Will you forgive me?” Nanook murmurs.

Nanook hears a faint sigh coming from you. You roll over to face the towering silver-white-haired figure before you, staring at him while lying in the palm of his hands. You and Nanook stare at each other without saying a word. You weren’t mad at Nanook. 

But you were worried to the point where you’d try to take as many naps as you could just so you could see the Aeon, making sure you could still communicate with each other. Each time you don’t see Nanook, you can’t help but feel discouraged. And since there wasn’t a way for you to communicate with Nanook outside of your dreams, and Nanook is the one that can make it happen, you feel helpless. 

After all, Nanook is the first being you talked to, and Nanook did bring you into this universe. You and many people around you have no idea how the Aeon was able to take you away from your world and plop you into their universe without warning. You grab Nanook’s finger and hug them to your chest.

“I’m not mad at you. You did, however, make me worry about you. I thought I did something to upset you, causing you to ignore me for weeks!” You say, frowning at the Aeon before you.

Nanook blinks at you. “Little one, I wasn’t ignoring you for weeks,” replies Nanook, a smile gracing those gorgeous features. 

“Well, to me, it felt like weeks! I….” you trailed off with a sharp intake of breath. “I was hoping to see you after you disappeared all of a sudden, but I couldn’t reach out to you. There wasn’t another way for me to talk to you.”

Nanook strokes your cheek, frowning. “I really do apologize for disappearing out of the blue. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel this way. Can you forgive me, little one?” asks Nanook, brushing your hair from your face. 

You wanted to play hard to get, but you can’t. Not when Nanook is giving you what looks like puppy dog eyes. You sit up and nod slowly. A wide smile appears on Nanook’s face. You press your lips into a thin line when you see Nanook’s smile. Nanook puts you on the ground suddenly, disappearing before your sight.

You blink, getting up from the ground, and begin searching around the void for the Aeon. Oh gosh, why did Nanook disappear out of nowhere like last time? Last time Nanook looked upset, but before Nanook put you on the ground, he was smiling. While you are occupied with searching for Nanook, you feel a tap on your shoulders. You turn to see Nanook standing behind you, no longer the once towering figure above you.

Before you can scold him for disappearing so suddenly, Nanook grabs you by your wrist, pulls you to his chest, and wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your head. You close your eyes and relax in Nanook’s arms, wrapping your arms around his waist. Despite the open wounds on Nanook’s body and gold blood flowing from the wounds like water, you let Nanook hug you tightly against his chest.

“It feels nice to have you in my arms,” you hear Nanook whisper, feeling Nanook press a kiss on your forehead.

You close your eyes, relaxing in Nanook’s arms. It really does feel nice to be in Nanook’s arms. Being in Nanook’s arms is so comfortable compared to sleeping on your bed. The world around you slowly becomes dark, and before you know it, you wake up to someone shaking you awake. You groan and try to swat the hand away, hoping it’ll make the person stop shaking you. 

You hear an obnoxious laugh. “Oh, wow, Gumdrop! You really are a heavy sleeper like what March said,” the person laughs.

Sampo. 

“Come on, Gumdrop! I know you can hear me! If you had those foxian ears, it would’ve been twitching right now because you love the sound of my voice, don’tcha, Gumdrop?” Sampo asks teasingly.

You feel, you presume, Sampo brushes your hair away from your face before caressing your face with his large hands. You hear someone let out an annoyed sigh. You weren’t sure who it was exactly, but it was either Dan Heng, Gepard, or Mr. Yang. 

“Your failed flirting tactic isn’t going to wake [Y/N] up from their slumber,” Dan Heng mutters.

You can hear the irritation in his voice as Sampo continues to caress your face and stroke your cheek with his thumb. You want to continue to sleep. You’re so tired, and your limbs feel like lead. You hear a faint click. 

“Why are you taking a picture of them sleeping in your arms, Sampo? It’s a little creepy for you to do that,” Gepard mutters.

You hear Sampo let out a scandalous gasp. “What? It’s not creepy! [Y/N] looks so cute when they’re sleeping! How can you not want to take a picture of their cute face when they’re sleeping?” Sampo asks.

March makes a ‘meh’ sound before drawing out a sigh. “Gepard’s right on this one, Sampo. As [Y/N]’s unofficial official photographer, even I wouldn’t do something like this,” says March.

You grumble in response and slowly open your eyes. As your eyes gradually adjust to the light around you, you see Sampo grinning down at you through your blurry vision. You bring your hand up to your eyes, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You look around to see people circling around you, watching you regain consciousness. 

Gepard gives you a tiny smile. “You’re awake. You were sleeping for a while,” comments Gepard, sweeping your hair away from your face when the wind blows it onto your face.

You adjust yourself to sit up in Sampo’s arms, stretching your arms while Sampo wraps his arms around your waist, snuggling up against you. While you’re trying to force yourself to be awake, the others around you are glaring daggers at Sampo. Mr. Yang subtly smacks Sampo’s arms from your waist while glaring at the merchant. 

Gepard holds his hands out for you to take. You smile at Gepard and grab ahold of his hand before standing up. Sampo pouts and crosses his arms over his chest when you get off of his lap. Still feeling exhausted and disoriented from your nap, you rub your eyes with your knuckles really hard.

Gepard grabs your hand to stop you from rubbing your eyes any longer. You stare at Gepard sleepily before looking around. You’re in Belobog now, and somehow you didn’t wake up to the sound of bustling crowds or to the feeling of someone picking you up and carrying you out of the Astral Express. You turn to look at March, Dan Heng, Caelus, and Mr. Yang. 

“How did I end up here? I thought you guys were going to wake me up before we got off the Astral Express,” you say, running your hands through your hair.

The crisp air of Belobog sends chills down your spine, making you visibly shiver while rubbing your arms. The brisk air nipping at your skin, causing goosebumps to prick on your arms. Noticing your slight discomfort with the temperature of Belobog, Mr. Yang takes his coat off before draping it over your shoulders. You’re immediately engulfed in warmth, making you sigh with contentment.

You smiled at the brown-haired man and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to the stoic man. Mr. Yang nods, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. At that moment, you hear a faint click of a camera but ignore it. You feel the cold nip at your nose and cheeks, making you press your cold hand against your face. Everyone around you seems unbothered by the chilly air of Belobog while you are shivering in your shoes and Mr. Yang’s coat.

Gepard crosses his arms over his chest and gestures to Sampo. “When the Astral Express landed on Belobog, Sampo entered the Express to greet all of you. You were sleeping on the couch in the Astral Express, and March 7th was trying to wake you up. Of course, you didn’t wake up, and Sampo volunteered to carry you,” replies Gepard. 

You turn to look at March, who waddles up to you before linking her arms around yours. You yawn and nod, not questioning why they didn’t leave you on the Astral Express if you weren’t waking up. March nudges you lightly to get your attention. You look at March, blinking at the pink-haired girl owlishly.

March leans to whisper into your ears. “While you were asleep, I put Sampo and Gepard’s number into your phone while they added you to their contacts list. Was that okay?” asks March.

You nod. “Yeah, that’s fine with me! As long as you didn’t take any unflattering pictures of me while I was napping,” you reply.

March stares at you with wide eyes before looking away sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck with a nervous laugh. You narrow your eyes at March’s strange behavior. You unloop your arms from March’s arm, crossing your arms over your chest while staring her down. 

March puffs her cheeks and points at the others around you two. “I’m not the only one that took unflattering pictures of you, you know! They did it too! In fact, Sampo was the first person to do it!” March exclaims, sticking her nose in the air with a loud huff.

You sigh and run your hands through your hair. There are too many people to scold, and you’re too hungry to scold anyone individually. Your phone chimes, and you look at your phone to see a new text message from Sampo. It was a picture of you knocked out in his arms while he was smiling widely at the camera. You groan internally, covering your face with your hand. You can feel the blood rushing to your cheeks, and you can’t tell if it is from the cold or if it’s from embarrassment.

Sampo struts over to you and throws his arms over your shoulders, pulling you to his side. “I think you look adorable when you’re asleep, Gumdrop! I hope you don’t mind that I made it my home screen background,” says Sampo, patting your head. 

Well, at least in this world, you’re someone’s phone background. You smile at Sampo and shake your head. “I don’t mind it as long as it’s not an embarrassing picture of me,” you reply.

“Are we going to do something, or are we going to stand around all day and do nothing in Belobog?” asks Dan Heng, raising his eyebrows at Sampo and Gepard.

Gepard clears his throat, nodding. “Ah, yes, right. Please, follow me as I show you around the Administrative District,” says Gepard, gesturing to you all to follow him while casting a glance in your and Sampo’s direction.

The tour around the Administrative District would have been even better if it wasn’t for the cold. While there are heaters around the area, it’s not enough for you to warm up, and not even Mr. Yang’s coat can keep you warm from the bitter cold. It could be worse. At least it’s not in some mountain surrounded by five feet of snow.

The flower shop, from a distance, grabs your attention. It looks inviting and very warm. Oh, you bet the flower shop is nice and warm on the inside compared to the outside. Without looking away from the flower shop, you grab the nearest person’s arm and tug on their shirt sleeve, pointing at the flower shop. 

“Can we go into the flower shop?” You ask, continuing to tug on the sleeves.

The person hums. “Do you want to look at the flowers?” asks Caelus, gazing down at you and then at the flower shop.

You blink at Caelus and slowly nod. “Yeah! I also want to go in there because it’s really cold, and my hands are freezing,” you reply, pressing your cold hands against Caelus’ warm cheeks.

Caelus flinches and grabs your hands while you’re trying to get warm by pressing yourself against his side. Caelus chuckles and wraps his arms around you, rubbing your hands with his to create heat for your freezing hands. You shiver, pouting while sniffling dramatically. Caelus stifles his laugh, shaking his head. 

While you were pouting and huddling close to Caelus, letting him rub your hands together to create heat, March pulled her phone out and snapped a picture of the two of you. Caelus walks over to the men with you waddling beside him, your hands remaining in his grasp.

“Hey, so [Y/N] wants to go into the flower shop to warm up. Is that okay?” asks Caelus, continuing to rub his hands with yours.

Mr. Yang nods. “That’s fine with us. Is my coat not keeping them warm enough?” asks Mr. Yang as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You stare at Mr. Yang with your mouth agape. The man isn’t wearing the coat he gave you, and yet he’s not freezing or shivering like you. Heck, you don’t even see a single goosebump on this man’s arm! Then again, he’s wearing a long sleeve shirt, so you technically can’t tell if he’s cold or not. 

You press yourself against Caelus’ side. “Are you not cold, Mr. Yang?” You ask.

Mr. Yang shakes his head. “No, I’m not cold. Maybe you’re not used to the weather here,” Mr. Yang answers. 

After getting confirmation that you can go into the flower shop, you pull your hands out from Caelus’ grasp before jogging to the flower shop without hesitation. Caelus sighs, tucking his hands in his pockets before following after you. March skips up to Caelus happily, showing him her phone. Caelus pauses in his steps and presses his lips into a thin line.

“Can you send that to me?” Caelus asks shyly.

March grins at Caelus, wiggling her eyebrows at the silver-haired man before nodding. “Sure! Would you like for me to send it in the group chat or just to you?” 

Before Caelus can reply, Sampo, Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, and Gepard walk up to them. Caelus clears his throat, signaling to March that they’ll continue the conversation another time. March sighs and rolls her eyes, walking up the steps of the small flower shop. When everyone walks into the Eversummer Florist, the first thing they see is you taking pictures of the flowers while Vaska is explaining to you what each flower symbolizes. 

“So! Has anyone ever bought you flowers, dear customer?” asks Vaska, gazing at you curiously. 

You blush and tuck your hair behind your ear. How do you explain to Vaska that no one has ever bought you flowers, whether as a gift or in general? The sound of the bell chiming alerts you and Vaska of new customers, only for you to realize it’s your friends and not random customers. 

You clear your throat. “Oh, uh, no! No one has ever bought me flowers before, Vaska. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look around!” You say.

Vaska smiles and nods, walking away to other customers that call her over for assistance. You sigh in relief and take Mr. Yang’s coat off, handing it to the brown-haired man while looking around the flower shop. 

Sampo grabs your hand and presses a kiss on your knuckles. “May I be the first person to buy you flowers? A person as beautiful as you deserves to be spoiled with the prettiest and most vibrant flowers to exist in Belobog,” says Sampo, winking at you.

Dan Heng raises his eyebrows at Sampo. “Are you sure you’ll be able to buy every flower in the flower shop for [Y/N]?”

Gepard hums, crossing his arms over his chest while looking around the flower shop. “Flowers can be expensive depending on what type of flower you want and how you want them to be arranged,” Gepard interjects.

March raises her eyebrows at the Captain of the Silvermane Guards, propping her hands on her hips while leaning on one leg. “And how do you know that, Gepard?” March questions, tapping her foot on the ground while waiting for the blond man to reply. 

Gepard goes quiet and looks at March sheepishly. If you were to look closely, you could see a faint blush on Gepard’s cheek. Gepard clears his throat, looking away from the pink-haired girl before continuing to admire the flowers in the flower shop. You chuckle and nudge March while she gives you a devious smile, wiggling her eyebrows at you teasingly. You roll your eyes and walk to the other side of the flower shop, admiring the beautiful flowers while taking occasional pictures of them.

A specific flower captures your attention. You let out an audible gasp in awe, admiring the beautiful flower. You’re contemplating buying yourself a flower to put in your room back on the Astral Express. You look at the Ball Peonies in front of you, admiring their beauty and color. Gosh, it’s so pretty! How can you not buy one for yourself? You lean down, searching for the price of the flower. 

After what felt like ten minutes, you finally found the price tag. You reach for the label, flip it over and let out a choked gasp, dropping the price tag and letting it dangle. You know that flowers can get expensive, but not that expensive! Noticing your shock from afar, Vaska walks up to you and gazes at the Ball Peonies.

Vaska giggles and adjusts the flower. “The Ball Peonies are very expensive, but not as expensive as the Marquis! The Marquis is our most expensive flower,” says Vaska.

You give Vaska a fake smile, rubbing the back of your neck. “The Ball Peonies are beautiful! Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to buy these. Maybe in another lifetime,” you joke.

Vaska chuckles and walks away, shaking her head. You sigh for the umpteenth time and walk to another flower before pulling your phone out to scroll through your gallery. You begin sorting your pictures, putting them in different files. While you’re occupied with putting the group pictures in appropriate files, your phone chimes.

‘3 Attachments from March (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ’

You click on the notifications, waiting for the messages to load. Someone taps on your shoulders. You turn your phone off and turn around, only to see Gepard standing before you with Ball Peony in his hands, his cheeks and the tip of his ears crimson red. Your eyes widen, gazing at the blond man speechlessly.

Gepard clears his throat and looks away from you before holding the Ball Peony out toward you. “I saw you looking at the Ball Peony. I also saw how shocked and disappointed you were when you saw the price of it, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed,” says Gepard. 

Heat rushes to your cheeks, making your face feel warm. “Gepard, you didn’t have to get me the Ball Peony. They’re expensive,” you whisper, gazing at the ground.

Gepard looks at you. You didn’t see the soft look Gepard had on his face while smiling at you shyly. Gepard clears his throat. “It doesn’t matter to me that they’re expensive. I wanted to see you happy, and…” Gepard trails off, “I wanted to be the first one to buy you flowers.” 

Your face is aflame as you grab the flowers from Gepard’s hands, admiring the Ball Peony. You look up at Gepard, smiling widely before throwing your arms around Gepard’s shoulders, hugging him tightly. Caught off guard by your actions, Gepard stumbles back slightly while wrapping his arms around your waist with wide eyes. If Gepard’s face isn't red already, it’s probably almost as red as Himeko’s hair. March squeals softly, pulling her phone out while snapping multiple pictures of you and Gepard hugging from different angles.

Sampo huffs and looks away, flicking his bangs from his eyes. “I wanted to be the first one to buy [Y/N] flowers, but Mister Captain of the Silvermane Guards had to be the first one to do it!” Sampo grouses, his face pinching up with annoyance. 

You pull away from the hug and thank Gepard shyly. Gepard smiles and brushes the stray hair away from your face. Your phone begins chiming over and over, ruining the sweet moment between you and Gepard. You give Gepard an apologetic smile before pulling your phone out from your pockets to see a ton of attachments from March. 

You raise your eyebrows and look in March’s direction. March looks at you with a wide smile while holding her phone behind her back, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet while feigning innocence. 

Dan Heng clears his throat. “So, now that you’re warmed up. Do you want to continue the tour around the Administrative District, or do you want to return to the Astral Express?” asks Dan Heng, approaching you and Gepard.

You hum, tapping on your chin with one hand. “I don’t know how much longer I can handle the cold. People here are used to the weather, but I’m not. I would like to return to the Astral Express, but I feel bad for wanting to leave so soon,” you say, looking over at Gepard and Sampo.

Sampo smiles at you and props his hands on Gepard’s shoulders. Gepard’s smile falters for a split second before giving Sampo a fake smile, brushing the merchant’s arm off his shoulders. Sampo clears his throat and adjusts himself. 

Sampo ruffles your hair with a big smile. “Oh, come on! Don’t be sad now, Gumdrop! I know you’re going to miss the amazing Sampo Koski, but no need to worry! I, and maybe the Captain of the Silvermane Guard, will be accompanying you on the Astral Express heading to, uh, what’s that ship called again?” Sampo looks at Dan Heng, Caelus, Mr. Yang, and March with a questioning look. 

Mr. Yang sighs, closing his eyes. “We’re heading to the Xianzhou Luofu next. General Jing Yuan wanted us to stop by and visit,” Mr. Yang answers, pushing his glasses up his nose bridge.

You nod, holding the Ball Peony close to your chest. The trip from Jarilo-V to the Xianzhou Luofu is going to take a while, and that means you can take a nap! But knowing March, she will try to find a way for you not to take a nap. According to her, you take too many naps. You dread leaving the flower shop because you’re going to get cold again, and you refuse to borrow anyone’s jacket because you feel bad if they let you borrow their jacket.

After what felt like ages, you all arrive at the Astral Express. Instead of borrowing someone’s jacket like last time, Dan Heng lets you share jackets with him. Of course, March took a picture of that and sent it to you and Dan Heng separately instead of sending the photo through the group chat.

You sigh in relief, stretching your arms in the air. The first thing you’re going to do is get a vase for the Ball Peony. After that, you go to your room and take a nap. Well, sneak off to take a nap because March is going to find a way to stop you from napping.

You scurry to find a vase for your Ball Peony, leaving the others in the Parlor Car. You end up finding the prettiest iridescent vase for the Ball Peony. You fill the vase with water and stick the Ball Peony into the vase, wondering if the Ball Peony is going to survive in a train that’s traversing through space. 

You walk to the Passenger Cabin, holding the vase carefully, making sure not to spill any water. You weren’t sure where you were going to put the flowers, but you were debating on putting them close to the window or on your nightstand beside your bed. You opted for the nightstand and set it down in the center before plopping down on your bed and pulling your phone out to look at the messages March sent to you throughout the day in Belobog. 

You save all of the pictures to your phone, feeling your eyelids grow heavy as you slowly succumb to sleep. Your phone falls from your hands and lies beside you as you drift to sleep. You weren’t sure how long you fell asleep, but you’re rudely awoken by the sound of your phone buzzing uncontrollably and your bedroom door slamming open.

“Why did you burst into [Y/N]’s room like that? You know they were sleeping,” you hear Dan Heng scold someone.

You rub your eyes, tempted to go back to sleep.

March huffs loudly. “Oh, no, you don’t! Get up! We arrived at the Xianzhou Luofu! General Jing Yuan and the others are waiting for us at the entrance!” says March.

March walks up to your bed and yanks your blanket off your body. You groan, stretching in your bed while reaching around for your phone. You look at your phone to see three messages from three unknown numbers.

The first message reads, “Hello, [Y/N]. This is Jing Yuan! In case you’re wondering how I got your number, March informed me, Luocha, and Blade that you have a new phone. She gave us your number. I’m looking forward to seeing you soon!”

The second message is from, you’re assuming, Luocha. “Hello, [Y/N]! I hope you’ve been doing well since the last time we saw each other. March informed me that you got a phone, and Caelus sent me your phone number! If you ever need anything, please let me know, and I’ll try my best to help you. Also, this is Luocha.” 

And finally, the last text you received on your phone is from Blade. “This is Blade. Are you still talking to the Aeon?” That was the only message Blade sent to you.

You blink at the message on your phone before unlocking it. You quickly type out a reply to all three men before getting off your bed, running your hands through your hair. You shove your phone into your pocket before following March and Dan Heng out of your bedroom. 

You step out of the Astral Express, yawning for the umpteenth time within the span of five minutes. March nudges you, giving you a worried look. You shake your head as if telling her not to worry about it. After all, it’s not like it’s out of the ordinary for you to feel tired. You did arrive in their universe from another world. You’re still adjusting to everything. Plus, it’s not like there’s a timezone since you’re constantly going to different planets and fleets. 

“And there they are,” Mr. Yang says, smiling at you, March, and Dan Heng. 

Caelus snickers and looks at Dan Heng and March with an eyebrow raised. “Was it really that hard to wake [Y/N] up from their sleep?” asks Caelus, propping his hands on his waist.

March and Dan Heng glare at Caelus while you walk to the nearest bench on the Xianzhou Luofu and plop on it. Luocha sits beside you. You lay your head on Luocha’s shoulders, closing your eyes. 

Luocha smiles and caresses your hair. “Did you not sleep well while on your way to the Xianzhou Luofu?” asks Luocha.

You shake your head. “I haven’t been sleeping well recently. I’m not sure if it’s because my body is trying to adjust to the constant change of environment or if it’s because….”  you trailed off, opening your eyes.

Luocha peeks down at you, looking at you worriedly. “Because what?” Luocha murmurs.

You sit up and pull your phone out, mindlessly rubbing your thumb against the smooth screen. “I don’t know if I want to say it. I’m hoping it’s not true, but who knows,” you shrug your shoulders.

You have a theory that your lack of sleep could come from your and Nanook’s ways of communication. Nanook speaks to you in your dreams, and you’re very well aware that you’re dreaming. But are you really asleep when Nanook communicates with you through your dreams? Or is your physical body unconscious, but the mind isn’t? 

Luocha leans back and gazes at you with his gorgeous green eyes. To Luocha, you do look visibly exhausted. If he were to look closely, you have bags under your eyes, and the little sparkle in your eyes is dim, almost nonexistent. 

“It’s because of that Aeon, isn’t it?” asks Blade as he approaches you with Jing Yuan beside him.

You blink at Blade owlishly. It’s possible that it’s because of your communication with Nanook, but you didn’t want to make assumptions. Plus, prior to March and Dan Heng waking you up from your slumber, you didn’t see Nanook. In fact, you didn’t have a dream, nor were you in the very same void whenever you and Nanook communicated. 

Blade chuckles bitterly, shaking his head. “You don’t have to answer my question. I have a feeling that your loss of sleep is due to your interaction with Nanook,” says Blade. 

As much as you want to agree with Blade, you feel guilty for placing the blame for your lack of sleep on Nanook. All Nanook wanted to do was to see you and speak to you through your dreams because there was no way for Nanook to be there with you physically. Yet. Is it even possible for Nanook to be there with you physically outside of your dreams? Nanook is massive and covers the sun and sky.

You let out a long yawn and cover your mouth.

Someone chuckles. “Aw, it seems like the little one is tired. Aren’t you adorable?” the voice coos into your ears.

You stop mid-yawn and look around, searching for the source of the voice. Luocha, Blade, and Jing Yuan look at you worriedly as you whip your head around to look for the voice of the person.

“[Y/N]? Are you alright?” asks Jing Yuan, kneeling before you. “You look startled.”

You stop looking around. You clear your throat, nodding before resting your head on Luocha’s shoulders, sighing. You realize the voice is coming from inside of your head and that it’s most likely Nanook. If the voice inside your head is Nanook, you’re going to be speaking to the Aeon about it when you’re asleep. Nanook can’t pop in and out of your mind so suddenly without scaring you like that.

“So, March has given you guys my number. She didn’t inform me about it, but I did wake up to a series of text messages other than March slamming my bedroom door open,” you chuckle.

Luocha stands up from the bench and squats in front of you, gesturing for you to get on his back. You blink at the blond man before getting on his back, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. Luocha stands straight and adjusts you on his back before walking over to where the others are standing, with Blade and Jing Yuan walking beside him. You tighten your grip around Luocha’s neck and rest your head on his shoulders, closing your eyes. 

“I was going to say that I was hoping our texting you didn’t disturb your slumber, but you already told us that you woke up to your phone chiming,” Luocha sighs, tightening his grip on your thighs.

You hum, snuggling against Luocha’s back. “It’s fine, really. I would rather wake up to text messages from you guys than March storming into my bedroom to wake me up. She said I take way too many naps,” you chuckle.

“I can hold your phone for you if you’d like. I worry you might drop your phone while holding onto Luocha,” Jing Yuan comments, reaching for your phone. “We wouldn’t want you to break your new phone, now, would we?” Jing Yuan asks, raising his eyebrows at you while poking your cheek. 

You hand Jing Yuan your phone, continuing to hold onto the blond man. Blade peeks at your phone and takes it from Jing Yuan’s hands, tapping on the screen to see a group picture of you and the Astral Express crew smiling at the camera. It’s a cute picture. But when Blade unlocked your phone (your password was predictable), a picture of you with Sampo and Gepard was the background for your home screen. 

“Who took these pictures?” asks Blade, holding your phone up to your face.

You squint and look at the home screen background. “March took the pictures! She’s my unofficial official photographer.”

Blade hums and begins scrolling through your gallery, narrowing his eyes at each photo that wasn’t a group picture. Most pictures look candid, while others look like it was taken without your knowledge. Especially the images of you sleeping in the indigo-haired man’s arms. Your phone buzzes, and a notification appears at the top of the screen.

‘1 Attachment from March (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ’

Blade clicks on the notification without thinking, and it takes him to the messages between you and March. The attachment was a picture of you getting a piggyback ride from Luocha. The photo was taken a few seconds ago. Blade looks up from your phone and makes eye contact with the pink-haired girl. March’s eyes widen, and she gives Blade a sheepish smile, hiding her phone behind her back while trying to act casual. Blade hands the phone back to Jing Yuan.

Jing Yuan huffs with amusement. “If you don’t mind, would you perhaps take pictures with us as well? I see you’ve been taking pictures with your traveling companions and friends from places you stop by,” says Jing Yuan.

You nod. “Of course we can! We can find a good place to take a picture. We need to let the others know about it first. After all, March is my unofficial official photographer!” you reply. 

When you, Luocha, Blade, and Jing Yuan approach the group, the others give you a questioning look while March has her hands crossed over her chest while staring at you. You give March a sheepish look and wave at her from behind Luocha. Mr. Yang walks up to you and hands you an Immortal’s Delight, causing you to perk up and grab the drink from his hands after saying ‘thank you.’

Luocha squats down, and you get off his back, sipping on the sugary drink. You’re really hoping the drink will keep you up for a little bit before returning to the Astral Express and calling it a day. You tapped March’s shoulders and informed her about wanting to take pictures with Jing Yuan, Blade, and Luocha. You and March were trying to think of places to take photos with the help of Dan Heng and Caelus giving suggestions. Sampo and Gepard walk up to Blade, Luocha, and Jing Yuan, eyeing the three men from head to toe. Blade raises his eyebrows, sizing the two men up. 

Blade points at Sampo. “What’s your association with [Y/N]?” Blade asks. “You seem quite close with [Y/N]. Do they mean anything to you by any chance?” 

Jing Yuan laughs and pats Blade’s shoulders before giving Sampo and Gepard an apologetic smile. “I apologize for Blade suddenly interrogating you about your association with [Y/N]. While we have met a few times, we’re curious about your relationship with [Y/N],” says Jing Yuan. “Well, Blade is more direct about it. As you can see.”

Gepard and Sampo look at one another, staring at the three men in silence. Were they supposed to tell the three strange men their association with you? If those three men (specifically Blade) are curious about it, they will talk to you about it. 

Luocha interjects, getting between the four tense men. “Gentlemen! Let’s save this conversation for later, shall we? I believe [Y/N] has picked out a place for the pictures,” says Luocha, laughing nervously while gesturing over in your direction. Luocha turns to look at Gepard and Sampo, bowing to the two men. “I apologize if they’re causing any hostile environment. I hope we can all get along.”

Jing Yuan blinks at Luocha, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not the one that’s creating a hostile environment. I believe it’s this one over here,” Jing Yuan says, gesturing toward Blade.

You and your traveling companions walk to where the five men are standing. In your hands, you’re holding two more Immortal’s Delight. The men raise their eyebrows at you while Sampo points at the sugary drinks in your hands. 

“Picture time! We have decided to take a picture in this one area of Central Starskiff Haven! Close to where they sell Immortals Delight!” You say, waving the drinks around before taking a sip from one of the cups.

Blade stares at you and then at the cup in your hands. “You’re not going to buy any more of those drinks, are you?” Blade asks, raising his eyebrows at you. 

You pursed your lips and slowly walked away. “I can’t promise you anything! If you want to start blaming someone, blame someone that introduced me to Immortals Delight,” you said. 

Upon arriving at the Central Starskriff Haven, you, Blade, Jing Yuan, and Luocha stand beside each other in front of the railing. Well, Luocha, Jing Yuan, and Blade are standing beside each other while you stand in front of the three men. March begins taking many pictures of you and the three men on your phone.

In the middle of the photo shoot (is it even a photoshoot?), Blade takes your Immortal’s Delight and begins drinking it. You turn to look at Blade with your mouth agape. The dark-haired man looks away from you and continues slurping the sugary drink without care. Your face pinches up with irritation before chasing Blade around Luocha and Jing Yuan. Jing Yuan and Luocha chuckle and try to get the two of you to stop before causing any more issues. 

“This is perfect! It captures their dynamic perfectly!” March says, continuing to snap many pictures of what’s happening.

Jing Yuan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Blade, give [Y/N] back their drink. It’s rude to drink something that doesn’t belong to you,” Jing Yuan chides.

“Yeah, Blade! Don’t be a jerk and give me back my drink!” You say, glaring at the dark-haired man and stopping in your tracks, placing your hands on your knees and panting. “If you make me chase for that drink, I will make you pay for it.”

“Oh? And how are you going to make me pay for it exactly?” Blade asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

You hold your hand out in front of you. Blade stares at you before holding your hand. You stare at your hands in Blade’s grasp. You drop his hands and huff. Luocha chuckles, giving Blade a teasing smile.

“It seems like you don’t understand what [Y/N] is implying. They want you to give them credit for the Immortal’s Delight, not you holding their hand,” Luocha interjects. “One drink costs about 3600 credits per drink. It is a bit pricey for one drink.”

Blade stares at Luocha with disbelief before handing you back your Immortal’s Delight. Your eyes light up, and you stick your tongue out at Blade before turning to look at your traveling companions standing across from you. You nearly drop your drink when you realize how many people had their phones out.

“Don’t mind us! We’re making sure we get good angles!” says March, holding both your and her phone up while continuing to take pictures of you and the three men.

Unbeknownst to you, the men before you took many pictures of you chasing the Stellaron Hunter. They made sure not to include the three men in the pictures because they were focused on capturing the moments when your eyes light up when Blade returns your drink. Who knew that the brightest star in the universe has tiny specks of stars in their eyes when they’re happy. 

Note: This fic is almost 10k words, and I'm surprised because I didn't think I could type this much with little to no sleep 💀 Since my finals are in three days, I will be posting mini-fics for the Genshin series and for the HSR series! I also realized that I had forgotten about Luka. Hopefully, I can post him in the next upcoming fic. Since I don't know much about him, I'll have to wing it. Also, if there are any errors, that is because I did type the fic half-asleep and while sleep-deprived 🥲 Taglist should be coming soon after finals week! Also, please look at an important note regarding posting works that are "inspired" by the fics I have posted [Important Notice]! To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[notafunkiller]

cherry

Summary: During your family getaway, things get a little messy when you meet Bucky's old friend.

Pairing: (fake) boyfriend’s brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: age gap (r is 26, Bucky is 38/39), teasing, pet names, language, alcohol, mentions of sex, jealousy, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 4.5K

story masterlist

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: This story will have around 4 parts, this is the 2nd part.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You keep coming across each other in the morning and during dinner for the next couple of days. He’d refused the offer, you heard from Jessica. You noticed he doesn’t enjoy talking about business in general, so you never open the conversation about it.

His family is really lying to him without shame, and you can sense how cold their bond is, but what can you do? You wish he knew... you wish you could talk about it with him. If only...

That’s why you are surprised when both of your families decide to organize a getaway in Austria for the weekend, and Bucky is coming along.

Thankfully, the cabin you’re staying at has more than enough rooms even with Bucky and William’s sister there.

Rebecca is a physiotherapist, she’s thirty and she lives in France. She seems very close to Bucky. They’ve been hanging around a lot since you arrived.

You wish you could say you are close to your family. You’ve been barely speaking to your mom since this whole arrangement became a real thing. But you didn’t say even a single word to your dad. And Bucky noticed, but he didn’t comment on it even as he helped you get your luggage to your room.

“You know I could have done that myself, right?” You smile.

“No need to. Your boyfriend should have, but he’s a punk.” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “No wonder why you won’t...”

You immediately puff, anticipating what he wanted to say. Why does he want to bring that up? “What, fuck him?”

“I was gonna say share the room with him. My little brother’s sex life is none of my concern.”

You nod, all flushed. “Good. I’ll go take a shower and be right back.”

You don’t know why you tell him this because it’s not like it’s his job to inform anyone. That should be William’s, but he’s not here. And even if he were, you know you wouldn’t ask him to.

“Alright. Uhm, see you later.”

Bucky didn’t anticipate Rebecca waiting for him in the doorway of his room. She has a “I know everything” look, making him blush even though he did nothing wrong.

“How old is she?” She asks soon as Bucky closes the door.

“Who?”

“You know who, Bucky.” She jumps on his bed amused. “Your little crush.”

He puffs in response as if that’s a real answer.

“Come on, don’t be mad. It’s okay. Maybe she’ll realize she is into older guys.”

“Rebecca!”

“What?”

Bucky groans. “You are talking about our brother’s girlfriend.”

Rebecca’s eyes glow, and he has no idea what he’s just started.

“They haven’t been together long though. I doubt two people who live in different rooms-”

For some reason, he gets defensive immediately and interrupts her. “That is their choice and you should respect it.”

So it’s hers, Rebecca puts two and two together.

“You think he is that bad?” Rebecca changes the subject a bit to get more out of him, and Bucky realizes, but he can’t help but ask.

“What?”

“In bed. She seems angry all the time.”

She doesn’t remember the last time she saw her brother looking like this. This is more than a crush at this point. He’s annoyed, angry and livid, all at once.

“What? You never thought about it? Never heard them?”

“Can you go to your room now?” He snaps, trying to brush the images of you with William off his mind. It makes him sick to his stomach. “I don’t wanna talk about my little brother’s sex life!”

Rebecca laughs, walking to the door.

“You didn’t deny she’s your crush! And I didn’t even say her name, by the way.”

Shit... He didn’t even realize.  Things are going too far, he needs to snap out of it.

“Your room, Rebecca.”

“Such a bad man, mid-life crisis hitting you two years...” She stops for a few seconds before she corrects herself with a wink. “One earlier.”

Bucky groans. “Rebecca!”

“She’s into you anyways, Buck. You’ll save him from dating or even marrying someone who doesn’t love him.”

Somehow, her words set him on fire and cool him at the same time. Rebecca is good at reading people, and he sensed something is off about you and William, too, but how can he hope... how can he think about kissing his brother’s girlfriend even after a break up?

“She was checking your ass on the stairs.” She adds with a smirk. “And it was not subtle.”

And then he’s left alone with his confusing thoughts and feelings.

*

Something’s wrong with him. He’s been completely —and obviously— avoiding you ever since he helped you with the luggage, and you wonder what you did wrong. As soon as you get inside any room he is in, he finds excuses to leave. Was your tone too rude earlier? You didn’t intend to get mad, but you couldn’t help it.

You know he is an adult, and he should be able to face you even if it bothers him, yet you can’t help but feel bad when you see him outside, in the cold.

You take the nearest blanket without thinking twice and open the door.

His head snaps in your direction, and you smile shyly, wrapping the blanket around his back.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bother you, I just came to give you this.”

His shoulders relax, and he reaches out to take your hand. “Thank you! You’re not bothering me at all. You can sit with me if you want.”

Neither of you has any idea where this came from. You thought he didn’t want to be around you, but how can you say no to this?

You sit on the chair next to him and smile when he covers you with the blanket.

“No, no. This is for you.”

“I’m not gonna let you catch a cold, love.” His voice sounds authoritative but not distant.

“Then let’s share.” You grab the end of the blanket and adjust it until you are both covered. “See? Perfect!”

After that, you’re quiet for a few seconds, trying to find the right thing to say or ask him.

“Are you alright?”

Bucky smiles. “I’m alright.”

“Well, you look alright.”

He blushes and laughs at the same time, making you giggle. He looks so adorable like this.

“Then why did you ask that?”

“To make you smile. You were quite tense.”

“When?” He tilts his head, and your shoulders touch under the blanket.

“Ever since we arrived, to be honest. Did I do anything to upset you?”

“No, love, you didn’t upset me.” He immediately assures you, but you’re not certain he’s being honest, and he senses it. “I mean it, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression and made you uncomfortable.”

It’s easy to notice when he is lying at least. He surely didn’t intend to make you feel bad, but he’s been avoiding you.

“Don’t worry about me.” You sigh. “You can just tell me next time, though. So I won’t be in your way.”

“What does that mean?” He can feel the panic rushing through his whole body.

“I mean, it’s your family, and they decided to have this random vacation. I could have stayed home.”

Not entirely true because you were asked to come along.

“Well, your family is here too, plus your boyfriend. But it’s irrelevant, anyway. I am sorry for ignoring you, I was just… consumed by my thoughts,” he says honestly, and you smile.

“It’s okay. It happens to me too.”

Especially when it comes to him.

“Why are you not with William?”

You try not to look disappointed as you answer. He has a point to ask you that. After all, William is your official boyfriend, and you two didn’t spend much time together. But you hate it anyway.

“You want me to leave, huh?”

You try to take off the blanket, but he doesn’t let you.

“No, no. Don’t go, I mean... I just expected you two to spend more time together.”

“Well, I wasn’t too keen on coming here. I have a lot of work to do on Monday, and I wanted to prepare some docs beforehand, but my parents forced me indirectly to...” Bucky snorts, amused for some reason, so you stop talking.

“You don’t like spending time with old people much, do you?”

Old people? Does he mean your parents?

“By old people you mean you?” You ask jokingly and turn to him just to see him smirking. The little beard he grew over the last few days makes him somehow even more gorgeous. He’s probably, truth be told, the most attractive man you’ve ever met.

“Yep. I’m turning thirty-nine after all.”

Holy fuck... The question is why you find this so sexy.

“That’s a very nice age,” you comment amused, playing with the edge of the blanket. “You make thirty-eight look very good.”

You don’t have to look at him to know he is smiling again. Good, he should know, and it’s not wrong to compliment someone.

“Thanks.”

You start to talk about random things shortly after: jobs, projects, random hobbies. He is shocked you enjoy origami, and you can’t believe he was in a band during high school. Well, you can imagine it, but it still surprises you. It’s comfortable and nice, but every time he calls you love, you feel yourself shivering more and more. And he senses it, immediately starting to brush your arms with his hands under the blanket.

“Maybe you should go inside.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” you protest, melting under his touch. It feels so good. “Can I ask you something?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Ha, funny!” You playfully roll your eyes. “Is it your parents’ anniversary or something?”

Bucky lets out a chuckle. “No, no special occasion for them. Why?”

“Saw a birthday cake...”

“It’s not for them.”

Fuck, is it William’s birthday? No way. Your parents would have told you… you wish you checked the calendar with everyone’s birthday before starting this conversation.

“Is it Rebecca’s?”

“Nope.

“Then...” You think for a little and when it hits you, you gasp. “Yours?”

“Yep.” He pauses, turning his head just enough so he can look into your eyes. “My daddification era is starting.”

Your immediate reaction is a burst of laughter as the lightheartedness of the moment caught you off guard, followed by a flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. It feels like your face is on fire.

“But you’re not turning forty...” You mumble, your words barely audible. “I mean, I had no idea. I’m so, so sorry, it’s so embarrassing!”

“So no gift for me, huh?” He teases, utterly unfazed. He hadn’t expected anything at all, and seeing you blush so furiously is endearing. “I feel deeply hurt.”

Without thinking, you lightly slap his chest. “Shut up!”

“That’s not how you talk to your elders, ma’am.”

“Okay, dad,” you snort in response, but there’s a momentary pause from Bucky. He holds his breath, a flicker of different emotions crossing his face.

*

The knock on the door doesn’t wake him up, but it surprises him. He slowly drops his phone on the bed and puts on the nearest T-shirt before opening the door.

There’s no one there waiting, instead, he finds a tall cocktail glass made of paper with a note inside it. Confused, he carefully picks it up from the floor before getting back inside again.

If you don’t drink anything today, I’m gonna punish you... with my presence.

So think twice before refusing :)

Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes

*

What Bucky doesn’t expect when he gets downstairs in a great, great mood is to see you, Rebecca, and Cherry talking on the couch.

He freezes, shocked, but he doesn’t have time to recover before everyone starts to hug and wish him a happy birthday. Cherry kisses both of his cheeks and hands him a small gift, which he assumes it’s a watch based on the size.

“Surprise!”

Bucky smiles. “It’s actually a surprise, I really didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Becca said we should keep it a secret. When did I ever miss your birthday?”

He instantly looks in your direction, worried for some reason you might misunderstand this situation, but you don’t seem mad at all. And why would you? You are with his brother. You’re not his. Not even a little. Because if you were...

Rebecca smirks satisfied and hugs him too. “Happy birthday, grandpa!”

He hears you laugh, and before he can think twice about it, he sticks out his tongue playfully toward you.

“Keep it low with the flirting, will you? Your little brother is in the room,” Rebecca whispers, amused, in Bucky’s ear before letting you wish him a happy birthday.

You stop awkwardly in front of him, wondering if you should hug or kiss his cheeks.

He makes the decision for you, grabbing you by your waist and getting you closer. You open your arms and wrap them around his back, shocked, knowing how intimate the way he’s holding you might look. But you don’t care. You let yourself enjoy this as you rest your chin on top of his shoulder.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Barnes.”

“Thanks for the drink, love. The best gift I received.”

You hide your smile in his shirt.

“You haven’t even opened others yet.”

“I don’t have to.”

You bite your lip, breaking the hug before it gets too suspicious, and give him space so your mom can wish him a happy birthday.

Rebecca winks at you, which makes you even more confused, but you don’t think much about it, focusing on Bucky.

The breakfast goes well, with Bucky in the center of attention despite his obvious attempts to shift the focus to anyone else. Your parents decide to get some shopping done around lunch and get some food for all of you, so you don’t have to worry about much. William tries to do some affectionate gestures from time to time, but you ignore them as much as you can, without making it obvious. You still have to play your part.

Cherry seems like a nice girl. She’s Rebecca’s age and they met during university. They all have been friends for a couple of years, and it’s easy to see that by how comfortable they act around each other.

As they talk about some fancy place in Spain you’ve never been to, you scroll randomly on Instagram.

You decide to search Rebecca and Cherry up so you can follow them, and as you look at Rebecca’s photos, one post in particular catches your eye.

You can’t hold back your gasp, which immediately draws Bucky’s attention.

“You good?”

“Yes,” you answer absently and zoom in on the first pic. There are around ten people there, including Bucky, Rebecca, and Cherry. It’s clear they are all close, but you didn’t realize how close Bucky and Cherry are. They are sitting next to each other in almost every photo. In the second to last one, he is holding her by the waist in a very boyfriend way, which makes you close your eyes.

Of course they were a thing. Of course! And now she’s here... You feel close to crying and you don’t remember the last time you felt so stupid.

Why do you care so much? You are officially dating his brother and you’ve been just friends.

You close the app quickly and stand up, ignoring Bucky’s eyes on your back as you announce, for the sake of appearances, that you’re gonna take a nap.

You don’t let yourself tear up until you close the door.

What if they hook up again here? What if you’ll hear them?

Jesus, anything but that! You couldn’t bear it... You’d be sick for real.

*

You don’t go down for lunch. Your mom comes a few times to check on you, then William, then your mom again with lunch.

You feel hurt and annoyed with yourself. You can’t act like a kid all the time, so when Rebecca comes to check on you, you decide to go downstairs with her.

Bucky looks at you immediately, concerned and confused, but you don’t let your eyes linger too much on him, especially since he is sitting next to Cherry. You drop onto the couch, next to William, and he smiles.

“Feeling better?”

“Much!” You lie, but you do it well enough not to get questioned.

“So now that we’re all here, can we see the surprise, Buck?” Rebecca asks excitedly.

You watch Bucky get up without saying anything, and everyone stays quiet until he returns with a tray full of drinks. He keeps one to himself and takes another one that looks like a cherry mocktail while everyone else hurries up to take one of the drinks. Bucky heads toward you with a smile. “I guess I am not as rusty as I told you last night.”

You know exactly what he means: his first job was as a bartender. He shared stories with you about glasses he broke in the first month, but how he learned, yet it’s been years since he’s made a drink.

You can’t deny the drink looks tempting, especially with your penchant for cherries, but the mere thought of sipping it turns your stomach. “Thanks, but I can’t drink this.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows, the wrinkles on his forehead becoming more pronounced. “What’s wrong? Still feeling sick?”

“No, I just hate cherries. I can’t drink it,” you lie in a disgusted tone, keeping your eyes on the table.

“Do you want me to make you another one?” He asks immediately, surprised because he saw you eating cherries before. Why would you hate them all of a sudden?

Cherry herself is walking toward you with Rebecca, so in a moment of madness, you extend your hand. “Can I taste yours?”

Bucky nods, and you immediately take the glass from his hand and take a sip.

It tastes okay, but it’s not your favorite, for sure.

“Thanks, but I’m okay.”

“Is it bad? Should I-”

“I’m fine, enjoy your drinks, Bucky. It’s your birthday.” You try to sound as casual as possible. “Gonna get some wine.”

“Wine?” Your mom's surprise is evident in her voice. “Since when do you drink wine?”

“Special occasion. My brother-in-law,” You have to force the words out of your mouth without choking. “Is turning thirty-nine.”

You haven't even gotten tipsy until now, so the half glass of wine, combined with the lack of a proper lunch, makes you feel a bit dizzy. Rebecca immediately catches on and nudges Bucky, who’s been on the edge all night, to help you. William and your parents have already gone to their rooms.

You’re half asleep when you feel Bucky’s arms wrapping around your waist, causing you to open your eyes in shock.

“What are you doing? Let me down.” Your face makes contact with his chest as you speak.

“I’m taking you to bed.”

You snort immediately, letting him climb the stairs with you in his arms. “You can’t take me to bed, silly. Go back to your p-pretty... friend.”

“I’m carrying my pretty friend right now.”

“Smooth talker.” You sigh when he opens the door. “Not me.”

“Who do you mean then, love?” He helps you sit on the bed, and you instinctively reach for his hand, running your fingers along it. His skin feels remarkably soft and warm. You don’t remember the last time you found hands attractive. Or veins. At least, not like this…

Deep down, you know you never stood a chance anyway. Even if you weren’t officially with William, you’re far from Bucky’s type. Cherry, from what you've observed, is an amazing woman, and you can admit that he has great taste.

He probably sees you as too young for him, perhaps even as a little girl. 

You scrunch your nose, and Bucky sits on the bed too since you won’t let go of his hand. He allows himself to enjoy this fleeting moment for a few seconds, aware that it won’t last. This won't hurt anyone, right?

“She’s so pretty and nice, I get it.”

“Get what, love? And who is pretty?” He lets you take his other hand too as he gently asks.

“Cherry.” You sigh, tapping his palms with yours lightly. “I guess she came here to win you back. And I understand. But like... you’d be wasted,” you complain, grabbing his face all of a sudden.

Bucky leans in instantly, closing his eyes.

“If something didn’t work once, why would it work now?” You stroke his beard gently, taking your time. “I mean, sometimes it does, but I can’t see it happening for you. You’re old,” you laugh, making him laugh too.

“I’m old?”

“Ihm, you are. The daddification era looks good on you.”

Bucky’s mind is racing now. From your touch to your words... he feels weak.

“Thank you, love. But how do you know about Cherry?”

“Saw some photos on Instagram this afternoon. You looked gorgeous and all over each other,” you bite your lip, unable to stop touching him. Even if he doesn’t belong to you...

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t serious, love.” He brings his hand to your face too, caressing your cheeks, which only makes you giggle.

“Hmm?”

“We’ve been friends for ages and we just had some... fun for a little while, but it wasn’t a relationship.”

You puff. “That is a form of relationship too! And maybe she wants you now.”

“I doubt that. But even if she did, I don’t want her like that, okay?”

“But she’s so pretty and funny,” you add, surprised.

“Many women are. But I told you, there is nothing like that.” His tone is serious, but you can’t understand.

“But you had sex with her,” you point out, visibly upset. You hate that even though it’s silly.

“O-kay, you need to get some sleep.”

You move your hand down to stroke his chin. “I’m serious, you’re...” You find yourself glancing down to his lap for a brief moment. Although you can't see anything, you just know it’s big. “A whole package. Don’t waste yourself.”

“You think I want Cherry?”

You don’t understand the surprise in his voice. Why wouldn’t he want her? If he wanted her once...

“You’re so confusing,” you murmur, and your eyes fall on his bottom lip the moment he licks it. It’d be nice to feel how soft it is. His mouth seems so soft and wet, and you bet he knows how to use his tongue. Ah... “You wanted to have sex with her, but you wouldn’t want anything with her now?”

Bucky smiles widely, surprised by your interest in his past. He knows it’s silly, especially since you are with William for some reason and he’s pushing forty, for fuck’s sake, but he can’t help himself.

“It was only for a summer.”

“Is this what you do with everyone?” He gasps when he feels the tips of your fingers on his lips as you speak.

“W-why?”

“Don’t waste yourself, okay, pretty boy? They don’t deserve you.”

Bucky literally chokes, completely taken aback.

“What?” He gently grabs your chin. “Who doesn’t deserve me? Cherry?”

“All of them.” You yawn, trying to keep your eyes open. “You deserve a better family.”

You’re so sad for him. They’re lying to him, and he’s so lonely.

Bucky’s confused but also touched by your words. You probably noticed how tense his relationship is with his parents, and you paying attention to that gets him emotional.

“We all do. But right now, you need to rest.”

“Don’t go to her tonight, okay?”

“Jesus, princess.” He strokes your cheek gently, and you giggle for a second.

“I’m not a princess. But please don’t do it. I can’t hear it…”

“Hear what?”

In response, you clap your hands together three times, mimicking the sound of skin slapping. “Please.”

“You mean sex?”

“Duh! At least...” You shake your head, trying to fight tears. You don’t want to cry. “Not tonight. I don’t want to hear it.”

Bucky sighs. He’s already told you he isn’t going to, but you mean sex now, and he wants to make that aspect clear too.

“I am not going to be with Cherry in any way, okay, princess? You won’t hear a thing because there isn’t a thing going on, alright?”

You nod happily and giggle. “Yes, sir.” You move your hand to your forehead, imitating a military gesture.

“Wow, such a good girl,” he snorts. “I expect this attitude from you tomorrow too, love.”

You roll your eyes, still in a good mood. “I’m sleepy, go away.”

“After you made demands about my sex life?” Bucky laughs. “Should I make demands about yours?”

“Go away!”

“Oh wait, there’s no sex li-” You hit him with the nearest pillow you find before he can finish his sentence.

“Augh! So aggressive.” He leaves the room still giggling.

*

You wake up in the morning feeling well-rested, without any headache or stomach ache. You can’t believe how embarrassing you acted toward Bucky. Like who are you to ask him not to sleep with someone? You wonder how he hasn’t told you to fuck off already.

He’s so kind, and here you are, lying to him, just like the rest of the family. Just like William. You’re deceiving him… 

Even if he was into you after all, you lying to him like this would ruin any potential relationship before it even begins.

You need to stay away from him.

Packing doesn’t take as long as you anticipated. William helps you get your bag in the car, and your family makes sure to remind you to be a good girl as if you are a naughty kid being left with a new nanny.

As much as you avoided Bucky until then, you can’t help but stare at him as Cherry hugs him. Indeed, there is nothing but friendliness all over his face, and you wonder if this is how it’d be if you fucked him —in another universe. You’d still be his friend? You cannot understand this. Not even a little.

Unfortunately, you don’t notice Rebecca looking at you until it’s too late. As she hugs you goodbye, her words make you freeze.

“Take care of yourself, and please don’t play with both of my brothers’ hearts.”

The shame floods your entire body, overwhelming you. You rush to the bathroom to splash water on your face, attempting to hide the tears staining your cheeks.

You fucked up really badly.

Tags:

@charmedbysarge @identity2212 @vicmc624 @cjand10 @mayusenpai666 @abitofblues

[who-is-there]

Deciding to write a fantasy high au where the Rat Grinders hide their connection to the overarching plan better than in canon. This is achieved by them actually (basically) stalking the Bad Kids everywhere, so they know more.

Or that was the plan. But it turns out that Kipperlily is really the only one sneaky enough to get away with it, so for the time skip between the beginning of Sophomore year and spring break, the Bad Kids keep accidentally finding the Rat Grinders watching them. It’s weird the first few times, but then the Rat Grinders are sort of- unofficially invited? to hang out with the Bad Kids? Like, they aren’t told when and where, but the Bad Kids usually just invite them into the conversation and talk to them more if they’re found out. Kipperlily encourages this because it means they’ve got more intell.

Except that’s not what happens. They ask Ruben about school, and the way he describes bard classes actually convinces Fig to give them a try. She introduces him to new music, and they start writing songs for each other to look over. When Fig starts her band, she asks Ruben and his band to be her first opener. The two have a decent overlap in audience, but they also pull their own listeners into each others music.

When Fabian asks Mary Ann about her tamagotchi friend, she’s the most excited they’ve seen her. Gorgug asks about it a little, and confines that it’s the small, complex kind of tech he’d never be able to make. The bad kids encourage him, and around winter break he comes in with a- strange looking bird that he says is named Chloe, but that’s not what it responds to. A few weeks after they come back from their spring break, Gorgug gives Mary Ann a construct of her tamagotchi, small enough to fit in her bag, and she cries.

Ivy tries to get Fig on the ‘mean girl’ idea, but Fig shuts it down pretty quickly. She introduces Ivy to Baxter, and Ivy now comes to the Manor solely to pet him. She meets Sandra-Lynn, who sees this girl that is almost her, and asks Jawbone to have a talk with her, just once. Ivy tends to be quieter nowadays, but a little nicer too, and Fig can understand her mom a little more with Ivy next to her.

Adaine and Oisin meet earlier, and the two talk more about their school work. Adaine apologises for not remembering him, and the two are a speed team in their class that semester. The first time Oisin made a comment concerning lower classes, Fabian pulled him aside and they have a talk about family, and what it means to use your class to help others rather than insult them. They both come out of it a little better.

Lucy and Kristin talk some. Kristin still likes hearing about other Gods, and Lucy doesn’t often get to talk about her ancestral religions. She helps Kristin and Tracker, since she doesn’t have anything against other Clerics or their religions. When Kristin gets doubt, she talks it out, and Lucy learns some spine from Kristine assertiveness.

With Riz, the Rat Grinders have been told stories from Kipperlily, so they expect things, but Riz isn’t like that. He isn’t dismissive or impersonal, and while he’s definitely- intense, there isn’t superiority there like they thought. When he talks about his dad or his home life, they don’t see a great backstory like Kipperlily wants, they see a kid at their age, that has to do twice as much for half the reward. They don’t know how to tell her.

But he does relax. With more people helping each other, Riz is a little less stressed. And the Rat Grinders, more than anything, see an adventuring party that are actually friends, that rely on each other and actually hang out together outside campaigns.

And then Spring break happens, and it’s a little better. The Rat Grinders convive Kipperlily to go on another quest, instead of to the mountains. Gorgug is more secure, Fabian’s more aware, Adaine has pushed her spells more, Riz is a little less stressed, Fig’s more focused and Kristin still doubts, but she’s better at taking about it. But it’s still bad. They still go through the forest, still have to deal with fighting and their fears, still get beat up and everything.

And when they come back, the Rat Grinders don’t see them getting praise. They don’t see all the great rewards for saving the world they expected. What they see, is a change to a deadline that was going to happen anyway, and that this group of people that were kind to them have gone through absolute hell. They’re tired, they’re scared, it’s rough. And then a week later, they’re running off again, after an endless night. And when they come back, it’s just more consequences and reprimands from a system that the Rat Grinders have been told favours the Bad Kids. And they realise that maybe Kipperlily doesn’t understand the Bad Kids as well as she thinks.

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

title: stranger than a stranger

pairing: pre-boston raider!joel miller x female reader

rating: explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 4964

summary:

When Joel sees you searching for supplies in an old school, he removes your companion from the equation and convinces you that you need to join him for your survival.

author's note: a gift for @dreamingofdaddydin, fellow depraved slut, who sent in an ask that i completely changed. please heed the warnings on this one, as there are dark and potentially triggering elements. if you do decide to read and you enjoy, please consider reblogging or commenting!

content warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), undefined age gap, no use of y/n, post-outbreak/pre-boston QZ, dark!joel miller, perv!joel miller, survival as coercion/manipulation, dub/non-con somnophilia (the actions are not agreed upon before hand but reader is receptive once waking), sex as a thank you, voyeurism, masturbation, canon typical violence (mentions guns, knives, blood), handjobs, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, baby, honey), cum eating, huddling for warmth but manipulative, wet dreams, thigh fucking, fingering, unprotected p in v. please let me know if any are missing!

You never expected to live through an apocalypse. In fact, before the cordyceps outbreak, you and your boyfriend had watched Night of the Living Dead and you joked that if the time ever came, just throw you to the zombies or demons or whatever hell unleashed.

Yet here you are, ten years post-outbreak and the collapse of one QZ that you and your boyfriend had been living in, climbing through a destroyed school building, picking your way through rubble as you follow Liam in his search for more supplies.

“The stores around here are probably picked clean, but a lot of people don’t think about checking schools. They’ve got plenty of non-perishables in the cafeteria. Remember? We ate like shit growing up,” Liam explains. He shines a flashlight down a hall. “Well, I guess we ate better than we do now.”

“I miss chicken nuggets,” you lament. He chuckles. 

“I could definitely use a cheeseburger,” Liam replies. 

You continue moving quietly through the school, the cement and linoleum cracked by overgrowth and the abandoned classrooms of overturned desks making you feel like you’re in a whole different world and not just in an elementary school in Massachusetts. 

“You got your knife and gun, right?” Liam asks quietly. You nod, pulling the gun from the waist of your jeans and showing it to him. “Good, keep it handy. You know those fuckers are always hiding around buildings like this.”

You and Liam had just started dating when the outbreak occurred, and you managed to stick together for the last ten years. He’s taught you a lot about survival - shooting a gun, starting a fire, and finding edible vegetation in the woods, among other skills. Despite your original desire to be spared from an apocalypse, you’ve somehow managed to persevere.

“Remember to aim for the head,” Liam says.

You roll your eyes. “No, I figured I’d aim for a foot. Of course I’m aiming for the head.”

“Alright, smart ass. You go down that hall and see what you can find.” He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m gonna look for the cafeteria. Meet me back here.”

With another nod, you part ways. 

You both miss the figure lurking in the shadows.

________

Joel watches you disappear around a corner before his attention returns to your companion. The man walks quickly in the opposite direction, holding only a flashlight in his hands. Joel clocks a holster on his hip that must hold a gun or a knife. The man looks like the type to know how to fight, weapons or not.

Too bad Joel is the predator here.

He leaves the dark shadow he’d hidden himself in, following the man with quick, quiet steps. The other man seems alert, but not alert enough to notice Joel following him.

Good.

Joel watches the man draw a gun from the holster, holding it in front of him as he kicks open a set of double doors, sweeping his flashlight and gun into the darkness beyond. Joel slips through the door before it shuts, darkness surrounding him as he lets his eyes adjust.

It looks like a gymnasium, cracked hardwood basketball flooring with faded court lines illuminated in the small flashlight beam of the man, who continues across the court and out another set of double doors.

He follows him back out to a hallway, brightly lit thanks to a hole in the ceiling, crumbled plaster and cement littering the ground. He takes a few steps closer, stopping when he hears a clicking sound that sends a shiver down his spine. 

The man freezes, too, eyes wide, hands tightening on his gun. Joel slowly brings the shotgun slung over his back around to his front, taking it up in his hands.

The clicking grows louder, more insistent. It echoes down the hallway and Joel knows that the creature is aware of their presence. No matter how quiet you are, those fuckers know how to find you.

He aims his gun, finger poised on the trigger. Heavy footsteps approach from the end of the hall, punctuated by the clicking noise that makes his hair stand on end. The creature enters the hall, overgrowth of cordyceps blocking its eyes and features. It pauses, head turning with jerky motions as it seeks out its prey. He watches the other man shift his stance, trying to widen his legs, but his foot catches a rock, sending it sliding across the floor.

The creature’s head snaps at the sound and it ambles closer, faster. Joel takes aim, pulling the trigger and blowing its head across the room. The man turns in surprise.

“Damn, man. Thanks,” he says, taking a deep breath and giving Joel a smile of gratitude. He reaches a hand out as he says, “I’m Li—“

He pulls the trigger and the man collapses to the ground face first, blood rapidly pooling beneath his body. 

Joel approaches, crouching beside him. He opens the bag on his back, rifling through the contents for anything that might be of use. There’s a med kit, ammo for the handgun he’d been using, gloves, a jacket, and a hunting knife. He shoves all of it into his own bag before grabbing the gun beside the man’s body as he stands.

Joel slides the gun into his waistband before turning and heading back the way he came. He imagines the gunshots will have you rushing back to investigate.

Just like he wanted.

________

You hear two gunshots go off, freezing in your exploration of a classroom. You listen closely, ears straining for any sign of clicker activity due to the noise as you slowly draw your gun from your waistband. Hearing nothing in the aftermath of the gunshots, you race back towards the area where Liam had agreed to meet you, heart racing as your mind begs you to choose flight and not fight.

In your panic, you don’t notice the man in the hall until you’re colliding against him, his arms gripping your shoulders to steady you. 

“Who the fuck are you?” You ask, scrambling out of his hold and pointing your gun at him. He’s tall with broad shoulders, a flannel beneath a faded denim jacket stretching over his frame. He has tan skin and dark hair with brown eyes that look at you with concern. “Back the fuck up,” you shout.

The man takes a step back, holding his hands up. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“I heard gunshots. Where’s Liam?”

“I came up on a guy fightin’ a clicker. He was in bad shape,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

There’s a buzzing in your ears as your brain catches up to his words. You blink, eyes burning with tears that you fight back.

“H-he’s dead?” You whisper.

“‘Fraid so.”

You drop to your hands and knees with the realization, gasping for a breath that won’t reach your lungs. There’s movement from the corner of your eye, the strange man taking a step closer, and you raise your gun once more. 

“Don’t,” you snap. “Come any closer and I’ll shoot.”

“Listen. I’m sorry about your friend. But if there’s one clicker, there’s bound to be more. You can come with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ll be fine on my own.” You keep the gun trained on him as you slowly stand on shaky legs. “I’m leaving now. Don’t fucking follow me.”

You only make it a few steps before he’s calling out after you. “There’s worse things out there than the infected. Girl like you won’t last long.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It means,” he says, the tone of his voice grating your nerves, “that there are bad fuckin’ people out there, ones that’ll take advantage of a girl headin’ out on her own. Some who won’t give a shit that a gun is bein’ pointed at their heads if it means they die tryin’ to bring you down with ‘em. Is that really somethin’ you wanna go through right now?”

Your resolve waivers. He’s probably right. In the ten years you’ve been struggling to survive, you’ve always had Liam at your back. Even in the QZ, before it collapsed, he kept you going. You could survive out there when it came to skill, but would you make it far on your own when clickers move in packs and raiders run rampant?

“I…I guess I’ll come with you,” you say, lowering your weapon. You flick the safety on and the man smiles.

“The name’s Joel.”

________

It’s been a week since joining Joel. The two of you keep a steady pace in your travels, though there’s no real destination in mind. He’s been on his own for a while, he tells you, having split from his brother who had gone to join the Fireflies in their fight.

“Fuckin’ stupid if you ask me,” he grumbled after telling you that little bit of information. “They ain’t gonna change shit.”

You just nod along, wrapped up in your own thoughts. You can’t pinpoint it, but something about Joel makes you wary of him. He’s been nice enough, sure, but there’s something off about the way he looks at you.

You’ll catch the older man staring at your ass when you’re walking ahead of him, or see the way his eyes go dark when you’re on your knees starting a fire. His hands will linger on your hips a little longer than necessary when he’s helping you jump down from something, or he’ll watch a little too intently as your lips wrap around the mouth of your water bottle.

What’s worse is how it makes you feel hot all over when you shouldn’t feel anything, least of all attraction when you’ve just lost your boyfriend. 

It’s starting to get cold at night. The days are still tolerable, since you’re always on the move and the sun is shining, but once the sky goes dark, you struggle to stay warm. You layer your two jackets and even that’s still not enough as you lay shivering in your sleeping bag. You turn over until you’re facing where Joel has his bag set up, curling your legs closer to your chest and squeezing your eyes shut.

Past the sound of your teeth chattering, you hear the shift of fabric, the glide of skin on skin, a low groan. Your eyes snap open and as they adjust to the inky darkness, you can make out the vague shape of Joel on the ground. Another choked off moan rings in your ear, the sound of it making your blood go hot. You listen as his movements and breaths and sounds grow more frantic, the desperation they’re laced with making you rub your thighs together as subtly as you can. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Joel pants quietly. The air goes still, the sound of his hand moving over his cock slowing to a stop. You wonder where he’s finished. In his hand? On his belly? Your brain conjures an image of you licking the spend from his skin, salty taste of him on your tongue as you look up into his eyes and he groans.

You have to bite your lip to keep your sounds to yourself. You wiggle a hand between your legs, clamping your thighs around it tightly and rocking slightly. It’s not nearly enough and it’s so frustrating you want to scream.

Eventually, as the adrenaline seeps from your body, sleep takes its place, your eyes fluttering shut as darkness consumes you.

You dream of bitten off groans and curses in a voice that belongs to a stranger with dark hair and brown eyes.

________

Two weeks after joining the two of you encounter your first band of raiders.

You’re in a small town picking through a convenience store. There’s a surprising amount of things left on the shelves, including cans of food that you’re tossing into your backpack when the sound of a gun being cocked makes you freeze.

“Hey, pretty girl. Why don’t you put some of that back for the rest of us, yeah?” An unfamiliar voice says. You glance over your shoulder, a large man with a thick beard smiling at you. You turn slowly, hands raised and mind racing with your options. 

He’s blocking the exit. You could try to dart around him, but the gun trained at your head is a bit of a worry. Your own gun is in the waistband of your pants, pressing against your low back. Not much help to you like that. You should have been holding it the whole time.

“Hand over your fucking bag,” he says, the calm in his more alarming than if he were yelling at you. “Got me some food and a pretty little pet to keep, too.”

Your blood turns to ice and your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you swallow hard, bending down to grab your bag. 

A shot rings out, glass shattering and you shout, dropping lower to the ground. You open your eyes slowly, you gaze landing on the body of the man lying on the ground in a rapidly expanding pool of blood. You look up, eyes finding Joel’s beyond the shattered window of the convenience store as he lowers his gun.

A shout has Joel whirling, gun drawn as three men appear from an alley. He shoots, one of the men dropping. Grabbing your bag, you rush to the front of the store as another shot rings out, shattering the glass of the door. You drop to the ground, pressing your back to the wall beside the window and peeking out.

Joel slings his gun over his back, landing a kick to a man that rushes him, the stranger landing on his back. A second man points a gun at Joel.

“On your fuckin’ knees!” He barks. 

Panic courses through you, but you reach behind you, grabbing your gun. You switch the safety off, leaning from your hiding spot to take aim through the window at the man. Your hands shake as you take a breath in, like Liam taught you, pulling the trigger as you exhale. 

The shot lands in the man’s abdomen, making him stumble and drop his weapon. Joel stands, rushing for the man as he pulls a large knife from his hip, plunging the blade into the man’s chest. 

The man he kicked is getting to his hands and knees when Joel turns on him, knife held at his hip. A wicked grin spreads across his face before he plants his boot against the man’s ribs, knocking him onto his side. Joel shoves at him with his foot until the man is on his back and he stands over him, a foot on either side of his hips.

Joel raises the knife above his head before swinging it down into the man’s chest, holding it there for a moment before he twists it savagely and pulls it free. You stand there, equal parts horrified and something worse, eyes wide as you watch Joel wipe the blade against the man’s clothes to clean it.

“Get their guns, will ya?” Joel calls out. The sound of his voice makes you jump, your muscles finally spurring into action as you comply with his request. 

Later, as you settle in for the night in your respective sleeping bags, you hear the tell-tale sound of shifting fabric and bitten off moans. You stare up at the dark sky, pinpricks of starlight winking back at you, as you gather your courage. 

“Joel?” You murmur. The sounds stop abruptly, the only thing you can hear is his heavy breathing.

“Thought you were sleepin’,” he grunts. 

You turn over on your side, facing him. You can barely make him out in the dark, only his silhouette, but your heart beats faster all the same as you say, “I could…help.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, so long that you’ve got an apology on the tip of your tongue when you hear the zip of his sleeping bag being opened.

“Come help, then.”

________

Joel tries to contain his enthusiasm. Nights of coming into his own palm while he knows you’re listening, imagining your hand around his cock instead of his, and now his patience has finally paid off.

You’re crawling across the grass to join him in his sleeping bag, your body pressed to his in the tight space. He takes a shuddering breath, the feel of your heat alone almost enough to make him come. 

Your hand rests on his belly, tentatively sliding lower until your fingers brush against the hair at the base of his cock. He hisses as your cold hand grips him at the base, slowly sliding up to his leaking tip. Your thumb circles his slit, smearing a bead of precum around the sensitive head as he groans into the night.

“That’s it, baby,” Joel says. Your face is tucked against his neck, and he wishes you’d turn your face up, let him kiss you, but he has to be smart and only take what you’ll give so that one day you’ll offer more. “Tighter, just like that, fuck.”

Joel’s hips flex to chase your fist, the soft feel of your palm driving him wild. He moans, louder than he should be given the vulnerable position this puts you both in, but he doesn’t give a fuck. All he cares about is you.

“This a ‘thank you’, huh? For killin’ those guys?” Joel pants. Your head nods against his neck and the admission makes his head feel light and fuzzy. “Told ya you needed me, sweetheart. Needed someone to take care of you, right?”

You hum, squirming against him. Your lips graze his neck and that’s the final nail in his coffin, his cock pulsing in your hand as he comes harder than he has in years. He can’t help but whine a little when you let go, already missing the warmth and the softness of it.

“Clean it up for me, baby,” Joel says. You bring your hand up, nothing but a dark shape against darker air, and he hears you licking at the cum coating your fingers. “That taste good?”

“Mhm,” you hum. When you’re done, you roll away from him, crawling back over to your sleeping bag and zipping yourself inside. 

With a sigh, Joel shimmies his jeans back up his thighs before turning on his side, letting the sounds of the night lull him to sleep.

________

You’ve been with Joel for a month when winter really starts to settle in and you’re forced to keep moving in your travels until you’ve found abandoned buildings to sleep in to stay out of the harsh winter air. While the snow might not reach you inside, the cold certainly does. 

It’s one such night that Joel suggests sharing body heat.

“It’s the best thing we can do to keep warm,” he explains. “Can’t keep a fire goin’ inside. Too dangerous.”

You swallow nervously. He’s zipping together your sleeping bags so that you can fit beside each other, laying it on the ground of the old stockroom you’ve barricaded yourselves in for the night, a little camping lamp on a metal shelf providing a little light.

Joel kneels to untie his boots, removing one then the other and setting them aside. He stands, sliding his arms free of his jacket and setting it on the shelf. When he starts to unbutton his flannel, your blood rushes in your ears.

“W-what are you doing?” You ask. He pauses, hands on his buttons.

“Gettin’ undressed. Can’t share body heat with clothes in the way.” 

You stand there frozen as he continues to strip, t-shirt and jeans and boxers all joining his growing pile of clothes until he’s naked in front of you and you’re struggling to keep your eyes on his face with so much muscle and skin on display. He slides into the sleeping bag, staring up at you expectantly.

“You gonna stand there all night?” He asks, lips tilted in a little smirk. “Come on. We’ve come a long way today and you gotta be tired.”

You’re exhausted, really, the kind of tired that settles into your bones and makes your limbs heavy. Slowly, you follow the same steps as he did to undress, starting with your shoes. It doesn’t escape your notice that he’s watching you with dark eyes the entire time, until you’re down to your underwear. 

“Those, too,” Joel says. 

“Why?”

“I don’t make the rules, sweetheart, I just follow ‘em. Skin to skin is the only way this’ll work.”

Reluctantly, you reach behind your back to unclip your bra, letting it fall to the floor. Your nipples are tight in the cold room and you grit your teeth against their chattering as you quickly tug your panties down your legs and add them to your pile of clothing.

You slip into the sleeping bag beside Joel, the heat of his body immediately making you feel warm all over. You zip up the sleeping bag, cocooning your bodies in the insulation. Joel turns on his side, sliding his muscular around your tummy and tugging you closer. The hard length of his cock presses to your thigh and you lie perfectly still, afraid to move.

“Go to sleep,” he grunts. You close your eyes, the tension slowly leaving your muscles as you listen to his deep breathing in the dark room. 

Somewhere between the warmth of his body and the feel of his breath against your cheek, sleep finds you.

________

Sometime in the night, you’ve turned on your side, your ass pressed snugly against Joel’s hips with his cock slipped between your cheeks. He wakes to the feel of you grinding against his length and his arm tightens around your middle as he groans.

“Joel,” you murmur. He lifts his head to see if you’re awake, but your eyes are shut, brows pinched together. Your hips move against him again and he bites into his lower lip to keep his sounds contained, not wanting to wake you and ruin this.

You murmur his name again and his head drops back to the arm he’d been using as a pillow. He gives a little experimental thrust of his hips and you moan, the sound making his cock jump against you. 

With careful movements, he lifts your top leg, laying it over his hip. He lets his hand drift lower, gliding over your tummy until he’s cupping your pussy gently. His fingers slide through your wetness, catching on your swollen clit and making your hips jerk.

Joel worries that you’re awake, but you’re not scrambling from his grip yet. He circles his fingers slowly, so slowly, your hips moving against him and your breathing coming more quickly. You let out little whimpers and whines that Joel wants to commit to memory, the sound of them sure to plague him any time he closes his eyes.

You’re growing wetter and Joel grows bolder, slipping his middle finger into your tight entrance, not able to hold back his moan of appreciation over how your cunt flutters around the digit as he slowly pumps it inside of you. 

Another whimper of his name from your lips has his sanity fraying further, his hand moving faster against you, damn the consequences of you waking up to him playing with your pussy. Your muscles go tight against him with your release before going limp, your breath stuttering. He lifts his head once more to check if you’re asleep, surprised to find your face lax with bliss, eyes still closed as your breathing slows to normal.

Joel withdraws his hand, using it to grip his cock, sliding your juices over his length. He angles himself to where his cock is pressed up against your lips before gently lowering your leg. He’s surrounded by warmth, your pussy and thighs cradling him perfectly. 

He thrusts his hips, his cock gliding through your wetness with ease. He loses himself to the slick glide, the tip of his cock catching against your swollen clit with each thrust. His fingers dig into the meat of your hip for leverage, pulling you back towards him as he groans against your shoulder.

Your muscles go stiff against him and he freezes as you whisper, “Joel?”

His name is a question this time and he knows he’s been caught. 

“It can be another ‘thank you’, yeah? For keepin’ you warm?” He asks, dragging his nose across your bare shoulder. “Could feel so good for us both,” he whispers, thrusting against your clit and reveling in the shaky moan you give him in return.

“O-okay,” you stutter. Joel presses a kiss to your shoulder in gratitude as he returns to the rhythm he’d set before you woke. He slides an arm over your middle, hand finding your breast and gripping it forcefully as you moan.

“That feel good, baby?” He asks. You nod, whining and squirming against him now. “Know what would feel better?”

“W-what?” 

He draws back, positioning the tip of his cock against your hole. Your breath catches as he slides inside the slightest amount. Just the tip.

“Would feel so good, right? Fillin’ you up, stretchin’ you,” he whispers. “You could keep me warm just like I’ve been keepin’ you warm all night.” You clench around him and he moans, hips flexing and sliding him deeper into you as you gasp. “So goddamn wet and tight.”

Joel slides the last bit deeper, until his hips are flush to your ass. You’re panting, cunt fluttering around him as you adjust, and he feels drunk on the feel of it, on the feel of you. He pulls out part way before sliding back in with a harsh thrust, the start of a punishing rhythm that has you chanting his name.

The slick slide of you over his cock feels like heaven, but he wants more, wants you cock drunk and earning your pleasure. You are supposed to be thanking him, after all.

He pulls out, lying on his back. “Get up here, sweetheart. It’s time to do your part.”

You turn until you’re facing him, and Joel gets impatient, grabbing at you until he can haul you into his lap, your slick, swollen pussy gliding over his cock. He groans, reaching between your bodies to hold himself steady, notching the thick head at your entrance.

“Take it, baby, come on,” he groans. You rock back until his cock is buried in your cunt, your knees pressing tight against his hips as you whine.

“S’deep,” you slur, rocking yourself over him. 

“Feels good though, doesn’t it? So fuckin’ deep in you,” he growls. Your chest is pressed to his, your lips so close he takes his chance, slotting his mouth against yours. 

You kiss him back, messy and desperate, moaning against his lips as you take his cock like you were made for it. And maybe you were. Why else would he have been in the right place at the right time, getting the chance to keep you all for himself?

You sit up further, hands planted on his chest as you ride him with fervor. Your blunt fingernails dig into his skin and make him groan, hips punching up into you as you rock back. When you moan desperately, he does it again, and again, until you’re letting out a choked little sob that makes his cock pulse inside of you.

“Come for me, honey, wanna feel this pretty pussy choke my cock,” Joel demands. He can feel your walls flutter around him, your noises growing desperate. He brings a hand to your clit, thumb circling the sensitive bundle of nerves until you tighten around him, squeezing his cock as you come undone with a shout.

You collapse forward and Joel wraps his arms around your low back, holding you steady as he plants his feet and pounds his cock into you with harsh thrusts, chasing his release. Your teeth dig into the sensitive skin of his neck and the sharp sting sends him over the edge. He pulls out at the last moment, his cum splashing between your bodies in thick spurts. 

You lie on top of him, catching your breath. Sweat grows sticky on Joel’s skin as the cool air settles around them, your back erupting in goosebumps as you shiver. He maneuvers your bodies until you’re cradled against him again.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he murmurs.

When you nestle closer, body lax against his, he smiles in triumph.

_______

You wake before Joel the next morning, body sticky with the mess from the night. You cringe, wiggling away from Joel’s hold. You find your discarded shirt and water bottle, intending to soak the fabric to wipe yourself clean, only to find your bottle is empty.

You locate Joel’s backpack, knowing he keeps his water bottle in there. You dig through the contents, hand bumping against the familiar bulk of a handgun. Your brow furrows. You haven’t seen Joel use a handgun. He uses the shotgun on his back, the other weapons you’d collected from the raiders stored in your bag.

You pull the weapon free and inspect it. You know this gun. It’s the same gun you’d learn to shoot with, the first one Liam found in the aftermath of the outbreak. Your blood turns to ice. 

Joel said he’d seen Liam get attacked by a clicker. If that’s the case, when did he get Liam’s gun?

The sound of Joel moving in the sleeping bag has you shoving the gun back into his bag and grabbing the water bottle you’d gone in search of in the first place. 

You’ll have to worry about your discovery some other day.

Want more Joel Miller? Check out the masterlist

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics with a character worshiping Louis' body as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

🫦 let me carry your weight by @soldouthaz

(E, 28k, trainer Harry) louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

🫦 Middle Ground by sweetums / @darlou

(E, 26k, hate to love) Harry moves to a new town for work where he meets the enigma that is Louis Tomlinson.

🫦 Save your loving arms for a rainy day by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite

(E, 18k, famous/not famous) the one where Louis is a pop star who has lost his voice and Harry helps him find it.

🫦 Moonlight Minx by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 15k, stranded) the one where an unexpected storm strands Harry on an island, Louis gets an unexpected house guest for the night, and love might just be the most unexpected thing of all.

🫦 This Play Between The Sheets by Harriet1dfan

(E, 15k, BDSM) Louis: I'm on the bus to meet Harry, if I haven't texted you back in three hours I'm either dead or I've been sold into a sex-trade ring xx Harry: Hi, this is Harry so I'm pretty sure that message wasn’t meant for me. And don't worry, I have no current plans to kill or sell you.

🫦 Hung Up High in the Gallery by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

(M, 14k, artist Harry) When Harry’s best friend, Louis, comes to support him at his art show, he decides they need to do some celebrating afterwards.

🫦 It's halftime. Are you ready to go? by momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry

(E, 12k, coworkers) Football is gay and Harry is trying to cope.

🫦 Tease by dolce_piccante

(M, 12k, actor Louis) Their relationship is lovely and unlike any Louis has ever had before, which makes the surprise of Harry's newest interest that much more intriguing.

🫦 could start a cult by @nouies

(E, 8k, lactation kink) Harry can’t get enough of Louis’ breast milk.

🫦 Our Chromosomes In Sepia Tones by orphan_account

(NR, 8k, artist Harry) au. harry’s a sculptor who finds his muse.

🫦 know what to do by loudippedincaramel

(E, 5k, pwp) Harry is a photographer, Louis is a football player. Harry takes pictures. Some are appropriate for work, others... not so much.

🫦 Let You Lick the Lollipop by @allwaswell16

(E, 4k, Halloween party) Louis has to keep people from stealing all the candy--especially the very hot guy in a toga who won’t leave his candy alone.

🫦 With your hands around my neck by @elleseekeepdriv

(E, 3k, pwp) the one where Harry meets Louis at a bar and is obsessed with his finger tattoos

🫦 and we will never be royals by Fookinlarryloser

(E, 3k, canon) Harry makes sure Louis knows how wonderful he is after the Cinderella Ball.

🫦 Honey (pour your sugar on me) by D1ona30 / @iwillscreamuntilearsbleed

(E, 3k, pwp) "Louis gasped at the sensation, the honey feeling cool on his skin. Harry sat there just watching as the slow-moving liquid slid down his chest and abs. The color almost a perfect match against Louis’ bronzed skin"

🫦 Feel my breath upon your thighs by CuckooTrooke / @larrydoinglaundry

(E, 3k, pwp) Harry just really likes Louis' cock.

🫦 Everlasting Admirations by me_her_themoon / @dreamersdivin-headfirst

(E, 2k, silver fox Louis) Louis is insecure. They’ve tried to keep each other in tune over the years, wanting to make sure they both feel loved by each other and by themselves. Though, sometimes age gets the best of them. 

🫦 Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry by @louisthiccsexyglitteryass

(E, 1k, armpits) Harry has a thing for Louis' armpits. Louis wears a tank-top. You get the picture.

🫦 All Of Me Loves All Of You by justthegirljada

(E, 1k, girl direction) Harry loves all of Louis' curves.

🫦 For you i would lose my mind by @dreaminrainbows

(E, 1k, pwp) Louis is a total menace on stage and Harry has had enough of it

- Rare Pairs -

🫦 ain't no stopping your plans by @disgruntledkittenface

(M, 4k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Louis wears Givenchy to the Royal Variety Performance. Nick has opinions about it.

🫦 softer than satin by cinnamons / @sunbellylou

(E, 4k, Louis/Joel (The Last of Us)) Lips touching softly with each syllable. Hands groping the soft flesh around Louis’ hips, kneading at the skin there and feeling his curves.

[exceptionimagines]

Meeting and Dating Kevin Wendell Crumb

(Not my gif/tried really hard to find a gif that was actually of Kevin lol)(Requested by anonymous)

(This is not fully canonically correct but I'm sure you can understand why. Btw, if you'd like more specifics on some of his different personalities, you're allowed to request for that as well.)

- Understanding pain and suffering means choosing to embrace it despite all of its ugliness and despite all of its difficulties. It's looking directly at the mountainous, monstrous thing that dwells in the dark and choosing to accept and forgive it for all of its faults. It's choosing to love where there has only been hate, and it is not a job for the faint of heart.

- Instead, it is a job for the equally broken: for the people who have suffered in their own right; people who are comfortable in the company of the unpleasant. While their struggles may be different, they are bonded by the understanding that no one else can understand. That while other people get to walk through life blissfully unaware, they are forced to keep their demons close to their chests. That no matter the reassurance, they’ll never be able to fully trust someone: not enough to tell them about what they’ve been through, not enough to rely on them, not even enough to talk to them.

- In the past, many people were forced to suffer alone: only meeting one person in their entire lives aware enough to understand what it was like to live such a personally pained existence; if any at all. They were outcasts who hid away in fear of what others might think of them, worried about what might happen if they were to let all of their issues out into the open

- In this day and age, there are endless places to meet similarly struggling individuals: people who can understand what it's like to be different. Endless places where you can meet people to confide in, to converse with, to feel validated by. You no longer have to be alone in this world if you don't want to be.

- It's in one of these places that you wind up meeting Kevin for the first time. It's a mental health forum that allows you to talk to, vent to, and/or seek advice from people who have been through similar situations or traumas. A judgement free zone that's full of people who are yearning for connection.

- You and Kevin orbit in the same spaces long before you actually interact with each other: regularly liking and commenting on the same posts or following the same random accounts. It's commonplace to see each others usernames while doing your daily scrolling so it's no surprise when you see him pop up in your notifications, liking a few of your statuses before he follows your account. You leaf through his profile a little before you decide to follow him back, not really thinking much of it until he sends you a message a couple months later.

- On a platform where people treat their posts like public diary entries, it's easy to skip the small talk and the absentminded niceties, and move on to much deeper conversations. Kevin doesn't even bother introducing himself when he first messages you. Instead, he references a post of yours that really resonated with him, or answers a question that you posed on your account, and the two of you start up a conversation that lasts for well over an hour.

- This conversation sparks a daily correspondence between the two of you: one that varies between simple recaps of what you did during the day to confessions about things you haven't even told your closest friends or family about. You learn that his name is Kevin and that he's in his thirties, but everything else you find out about him is far more intimate; a trend that you typically follow suit with.

- The two of you speak at length about your darkest moments and your fears and insecurities, all the while neglecting to tell each other about your appearances or the simple facts that you often get out of the way when meeting someone for the first time. In a way, this relative anonymity makes everything feel so much more confidential: that even though you’re baring your souls to each other and being completely vulnerable, there’s enough of a wall between you to stop you from getting fully hurt.

- He keeps the truth about his condition behind this aforementioned wall, hesitating whenever he finds himself ready to confess to you, worrying that you won't believe him or that he'll scare you off with the diagnosis; that you'll deem it "too cazy to deal with" and distance yourself.

- During this time, you might occasionally notice that his typing changes depending on the hour/day: that he alternates between using no emojis to using one in every message or that he abbreviates things one minute then doesn't the next. And even though you’d probably like to ask him about it, you choose to simply brush it off instead, reasoning that it’s a strange thing to comment on and that you might just be overthinking it. Even if it wasn’t “your imagination”, you wouldn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure anyway; so you simply leave it alone.

- When he finally does admit his diagnosis to you, your first response is to tell him that it actually “kind of makes sense”, sending the message before you can even realize how insulting that might sound to someone who’s been very obviously trying to keep said part of themselves a secret. It feels like a very “No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't fool me into thinking you were normal” kind of response so you quickly type out a “no offense” before attempting to explain yourself further.

- Once you feel like you’ve done a good enough job of clarifying, you thank him for trusting you enough to share something so personal, assuring him that it doesn't change anything between the two of you; if that was something he was worried about. You go to bed that night promising yourself to look into the condition in the morning; wanting to better understand him, and he goes to bed that night feeling completely relieved, close to crying tears of joy knowing that he’s found his first ever real friend.

- You start keeping a list of his personalities somewhere on your computer for reference, taking notes as you get to know all of his different alters. Slowly but surely, you find yourself able to deduce exactly who you’re talking to simply through the way that they type and the things they choose to message you about. If you aren’t talking to Kevin, you’re typically talking to Barry or Jade, sometimes Hedwig who’s especially amusing to converse with.

- Though just as you’re growing used to your usual roster of personalities, you find yourself baffled by the appearance of one that you’ve never spoken to before: one that materializes as a singular, simple and to the point message that appears on your screen late at night after you’ve already wished Kevin goodnight.

“Has he told you about the beast?”

- Though you’re tempted to answer, you ignore the message for the time being, too tired to entertain an entirely new conversation when you’ve already gotten ready for bed. When you wake up the next morning, you’re met with a few messages telling to ignore his previous question, insisting that it’s nothing and that he’d rather not get into it. You brush it off and move onto a different topic; though the question continues to linger at the back of your mind whenever he sends you a message that feels more succinct or shorter than usual.

- Though he neglects to tell you about the beast, he does start to share some of his beliefs with you, or rather, some of his personalities begin to share their beliefs with you. He tells you about how he thinks that the broken are the evolved, that those who have been through more are capable of becoming more, that the people who have suffered are more advanced and that the people who haven’t go through life oblivious.

- A part of you believes in some of his theories; there’s a certain level of truth to them after all, but another part of you simply assumes that he’s exaggerating or venting to you whenever he brings up something unrealistic or strange. You simply don’t realize how serious he’s being, taking the words on your screen for granted as you agree with and discuss them; falsely assuming that you’re both on the same page.

- The world he tells you about; “his world”, is something that you begin to take comfort in. A place where people like you are accepted instead of ridiculed. It’s a nice idea, of course; nobody can argue with that, but to you, it’s simply wishful thinking: a thought that helps you sleep at night or cheers you up after a particularly rough day. Unbeknownst to you, your acceptance of his ideas are proof to some of his alters that you’re perfect for him: someone capable of understanding, someone who believes….

- You assume that it’s Kevin who asks to exchange photos with you but it’s probably Dennis, curious to see what you look like, to see the sort of person capable of caring for the man he was created to protect. You’re a bit surprised when you receive the message but you hesitantly agree, figuring that you’re at a place in your “relationship” where it’s the next logical step.

- You send one of yourself and receive one of him: a picture taken from his computer camera where he looks a bit uncomfortable; maybe just shy, cast in a warm light in the middle of a somewhat cluttered room. You aren’t sure what you were expecting but you certainly aren’t disappointed, somewhat surprised to see a relatively handsome man on the other side of the screen. You ignore your suddenly increased heart rate and tell him that you like his shirt, he thanks you and the two of you begin a conversation like normal, not really mentioning the photos again; even though he saves yours to his computer and finds himself looking at it nearly every morning.

- It isn’t long after that that you agree to meet up for the first time. The idea of it is nerve wracking of course, but you decide that if there was ever anyone you’d feel the need to meet; to put yourself through the uncomfortable for, it’s Kevin. You settle on meeting at the zoo he works at on one of his days off: somewhere that’s public and a little bit crowded to ensure that you won’t get kidnapped; even if you feel like you know him well enough to assume that he wouldn’t do that.

- He’s a bit shy when you first approach each other but he smiles the minute he lays eyes on you, visibly happy to see you while walking to meet you halfway. He continues to sneak peeks at you while you look at all of the animals, sharing different facts about them in an attempt to impress you and/or make conversation. He’s amazed by how nice it feels to be in your presence and you secretly feel the same way, relaxing little by little until you feel as though you’ve known him for years.

- He might occasionally shift into Barry but the transition is seamless enough to where you really don’t notice it. It’s only when bits of Dennis come flashing through that you start to realize he isn’t “himself” anymore; though Kevin usually takes over again before you can even think to comment on it. You only take notice of his presence due to how different Dennis’s demeanor is, and because it’s the only times during your meet up that “Kevin” actually touches you: straightening your hair or a piece of your clothing with a mumbled apology as though it physically pains him to see it out of place.

- Regardless of that, your meetup goes perfectly well and you the two of you promise to meet again sometime soon, lingering at the gates of the zoo as you say your final goodbyes.

- Your relationship with Kevin progresses fairly slowly, both because he’s new to being in the spotlight and because he’s new to relationships in general. The two of you stick to being friends for quite a while: taking your time growing more comfortable and close to each other as the days go by. You start to video call and meet up in person a lot more, typically spending time out in public together while you get used to being real people rather than faceless beings behind a screen.

- While the two of you slowly but surely begin to develop crushes on each other, you also begin to earn the trust of his last few remaining personalities; a feat which convinces Kevin that you’re perfect for him. Having someone truly accept him; accept every part of him, is something so precious to him, and it only manages to further his affection for you. He might not be obvious about his romantic feelings for you, but you can definitely tell that he cares a lot about you and that you really mean a lot to him.

- Once you’re comfortable enough, the two of you start to hang out in private. You’re both a bit shy at first when showing each other around your respective apartments, it isn’t long before it begins to feel perfectly normal and natural to have him by your side and in your space.

- It’s a day like any other when he finally confesses his feelings to you. He invites you over to his apartment and right off the bat, you can tell that something is different. Kevin’s always a little shy, but he seems anxious when he meets you by the gate and lets you into his place. You’re a little worried about him, asking if he’s alright as you let him sit you down on his couch. He insists that he is but it isn’t convincing, not when he’s pacing back and forth as he struggles to initiate whatever conversation he’s trying to have with you, opening and closing his mouth as though he’s on the verge of spitting it out but psyching himself out every time.

- Finally, he rubs a hand down his face and sighs, retrieving a folded piece of paper from his pocket and holding it out to you with a shaking hand. You ask him if he’s alright again as you look at his trembling limb, hesitantly taking the paper from between his fingers and beginning to unfold it as he whispers that he’s fine, stuttering out that he just wants you to read the note and be honest “no matter what your answer is”.

- You look at him for a long moment before you fix your eyes on the letter and read, feeling your heart skip a beat as you realize what the words are trying to tell you. In the letter, Kevin explains that he’s never been in a relationship before, that he’s never developed feelings for someone before, and that he’s worried you won’t be interested in him or that you’ll never want to see him again. He apologizes if it isn’t what you want to hear, insisting that he can just stay your friend, if that’s what you want, and that he’ll do his best to forget about his crush, that he wants you to be happy more than himself and that if that’s what it takes, he’ll do it.

- You finish reading and look up at him, catching the way his eyes were locked intently on your face. You smile at him and insist that you’d be happy to go on a date with him, watching the way his shoulders sag in relief, a smile making its way onto his lips and the slight shine of tears misting in his eyes. Really? He asks you and you nod, telling him that you’d actually love to.

- For your first date, the two of you see a movie then wander around town, picking up some street food while you walk because neither of you feel like going home just yet. He stops and buys you flowers as you pass by a vendor, smiling shyly as you thank him, holding the bouquet close to your face. When you finally do decide it’s time to part ways, he stutters through asking you whether you’d like to “do it again sometime” an offer which you readily agree to, watching as he smiles in relief.

- Considering the fact that you’re probably Kevin’s first real girlfriend, it’s more than likely that you’ll have to make the first move when having your first kiss; and that it will probably take a bit of time for the two of you to get to that level. You decide to make the first move as you’re sitting on his couch, turning to and outright asking him if it would be alright for you to kiss him; suddenly finding yourself impatient and unable to stop yourself. He pauses for a moment, looking at you somewhat surprised before he quickly agrees, adjusting himself nervously in his seat so that he’s facing you better.

- You slowly lean in and press your lips to his, kissing him softly before checking his face to see if he’s alright. He lets out a breath, his eyes still closed as you look over his features, you lean in to kiss him again when he makes no move to pull away. You continue to kiss him gently, feeling his hand move to rest on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, palm pressed to your collarbone.

- He leans away from you after a long moment, which is when you realize that his hand is keeping you from following after him. You open your eyes and find him looking back at you, blue eyes locked on your face in a way you aren’t familiar with, a dead giveaway that you aren’t looking at “Kevin” anymore but rather the reclusive Dennis. You quietly apologize as he stares at you, surprised to hear him murmur out a quiet “you’re alright” once he’s finished scanning your face.

“Is he alright? I didn’t mean to scare him or anything.” You say to him, trying to assure the particularly protective personality that you meant no harm; worried that you somehow ruined things between you and your new boyfriend by merely kissing him.

- He assures you that he is, that he’s just not used to “this”, that none of them are. You nod, trying your best not to take it to heart; not realizing that the only reason your boyfriend isn’t with you right then and there is because his personalities were worried he was having a heart attack due to how hard it was hammering in his chest.

“Should I go?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’d rather you stayed.” He replies and you smile a little.

“Can Kevin come back?” He pauses as he contemplates your question, nodding briefly before he tenses, body responding to the changing of personalities.

- Kevin immediately begins muttering out apologies once he comes through again, one’s that are shushed by you as you cup his cheek and assure him that you’re willing to be as patient with him as he needs you to be. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes and letting out a breath, relieved that you aren’t upset with him; knowing that he’s found his soulmate….

- A little side note: prior to The Horde taking over, Barry was known to front most of the time that Kevin wasn't; which seemed to be quite often considering Kevin appeared to be hidden pretty deeply inside of himself. For the sake of these headcanons, I'm going to be writing with the idea in mind that Kevin is a little more healed from his trauma and taking the spotlight once again. I'm gonna try to focus specifically on Kevin himself for most of these, but I will be mentioning the occasional alter; for what I'm sure are obvious reasons. These might not be perfectly canonical but I'm going to try my best....

- Kevin prefers staying inside rather than going out, but he finds comfort in having some level of physical contact with you whenever you're out in public together; like holding your hand or sitting thigh to thigh. Feeling your touch grounds him whenever he's feeling particularly anxious or nervous, so while he's more reserved with his affection; wanting to draw as little attention to himself as possible, he still likes having a bit of contact with you whenever he can.

- He's definitely more affectionate when you're in the privacy of your own homes: somewhere he can fully relax and feel comfortable. He'll lay his head on your shoulder, hug you from behind, hold your hand or have a hand somewhere on you, etc. He'd love it if you were even more affectionate than he is, if you wanted to touch him just for the sake of touching him; not knowing how much the mindless affection means to him. He has to get used to asking for what he wants or just doing it himself whenever he feels like it, but once he does, rest assured that he's very touchy; usually in an innocent and sweet kind of way.

- He also just loves being in your personal space, even when he isn't necessarily touching or doing anything with you. He'll oftentimes follow you from room to room, not wanting to be away from you for too long, unless he's a little overstimulated and needs some time to himself, or if another personality is fronting. When he isn't staying in the room with you, he'll typically check in on you a lot: especially if he's fronting as Dennis who doesn't always want to sit with you but definitely wants to keep an eye on you; though the man has no qualms with buckling down and observing you while you go about your own business.

- Loves, loves, loves, kisses: in the most touch starved and shy way possible. He grew up with a lack of gentle influences in his life so any form of soft affection really tends to get to him. Kiss him on his forehead, his cheeks, his nose: anywhere you want to really; it all makes him melt. It's certainly no cure for what he went through, but it's definitely a helpful medicine: it takes him out of any bad thoughts that he might be having and makes him realize that you're there and that you love him and that he's safe.

- Kisses with Kevin are gentle and oftentimes a little chaste. He's fairly inexperienced, having always kept to himself, so you'll have to be a bit patient with him. He'll sometimes lean down for a kiss, go do something, and then come back for another: like he's just remembered exactly how much he likes kissing you and can't wait too long to do it again. It never fails to make you smile and once he sees yours, he can't help but smile too.

- Kevin likes saying your name more than anything else; he just thinks that it's a really nice name, but he'll sometimes say honey or something equally sweet if he feels the need to. His other personalities tend to have pet names for you as well: things like babygirl, pet, sweetie, sweetheart, angel, darling, mine, etc. Sometimes you'll be able to tell who's fronting just by hearing what they call you when trying to address you.

- There's definitely going to be moments in time where your Spidey sense tingles and you realize that you're talking to an entirely different person than before; even if they're pretending to be someone else. You start to get a knack for telling who's who; even when they're not dressed any different, and it admittedly kind of impresses all of them.

- He always needs a hug the minute he comes home: it's the part of his day that he looks forward to the most and it genuinely becomes a routine for the two of you. The door opens, he finds you, hug. Most of the time, words aren't even exchanged: you hear him coming and you just know to open your arms.

- He typically likes to wrap himself around you whenever the two of you cuddle: spooning you from behind while also tossing a leg over your own; treating you like an oversized stuffed animal. It makes him feel comforted without the feeling of being restricted, and it makes untangling himself from you a little easier whenever he feels the need to leave, or if he ends up shifting in the morning. The feeling of his body changing against your own, the way that he seems to grow or shrink with each different personality, never ceases to amaze you.

- Late night talks. Most of them are full of comfort and reassurance: letting each other know that you're both enough, that there's no need to worry, that you both love each other, and that it'll all be okay. There's never any shame in admitting you need the other person a little more than usual, and it helps both of you sleep more soundly.

- Little acts of service make him happy. He's so used to his personalities taking care of him that it feels good to take care of someone else. He mimics your acts of love and the things he always wanted as a child but never got: like making you lunch, brushing your hair, getting you medicine, etc.

- You both take care of each other equally: cooking for one another, helping cut each others hair, straightening out clothes, him carrying you to bed or walking you home, etc. You might not always have a lot to offer each other, but you definitely have a whole lot of love, and that's always been enough for the two of you.

- Running errands together. You sort of act like a married couple, going about your daily lives side by side, making the most mundane and trivial things into a date; always wanting to spend time with each other regardless of what you're doing during it.

- Receiving flowers. Sometimes it's an entire bouquet, other times it's a singular flower sitting on your bedside table or on the pillow next to your head. It's a move that Dennis and/or Patricia will occasionally pull as well: not necessarily in a romantic sense, but definitely in a "showing I care" kind of gesture; so that you know that they like and appreciate you.

- Watching movies together. It's kind of routine for the two of you to sit down and watch a movie; or an episode of a tv show, every time that you're together. Typically, it's a documentary, but he's open to watching pretty much anything; as long as you're spending time with Kevin himself.

- Hearing a lot of random animal facts. Kevin works in a zoo so it's sort of a given that he knows a lot about mammals and their different environments. Sometimes, he'll randomly occupy whatever silence you're in with a tidbit of information, sharing something completely unrelated to anything but arguably pretty interesting. He always loves when you chime in with something he's told you before: it makes him feel like you really care about and listen to him.

- Being let into the zoo late at night and/or being taken on personal tours. He probably brings you home stuffed animals or different things from the gift shop as well.

- Buying things that remind you of each other.

- Sharing clothes. You've begin wearing larger sizes; if you're smaller than him, so that you know your stuff will fit him. You've also begun keeping extra clothes in your apartment and your car so that he can always be comfortable, regardless of which alter is in charge. It's especially helpful when he shifts into the beast, who has a habit of tearing or dirtying clothing; or loosing his clothes in the process of shifting.

- Visiting abandoned buildings and exploring or having picnics in the rubble.

- Going camping. He likes being able to get away from regular society for a while, and it's occasionally good for him to let the beast have his time in the spotlight; especially when there's no one around for him to hurt.

- Building blanket forts. Kevin loves them himself, but they're also a treat for Hedwig as well.

- Taking walks together at night; usually stopping into convenience stores or random parks.

- Writing notes to each other. Sometimes, it's just easier for him to communicate through writing rather than actual words. His letters are never terribly intricate or poetic, but it helps him express himself and/or tell you what he's feeling without the pressure of having to be there for your reaction or "face it" in some way; even when he isn't admitting anything bad. It's just that any big emotion can be hard for him to handle and writing to you makes dealing with them a little easier.

- Kevin probably wont allow you to help him whenever he's injured, unless he's somewhat forced to, but that's no slight on you: he simply finds it difficult to surrender himself fully and be completely vulnerable with someone.

- That being said: don't be surprised when another personality takes over if you accidentally burn or cut yourself. It's typically Patricia who ends up tending to your injuries, but Kevin does try to stick around in an effort to be "there for you more"; even if you assure him that you don't mind him leaving if it makes him more comfortable. You should also expect to be gently ushered out of harms way; typically the kitchen if you hurt yourself trying to make dinner, and for him/her to take over and finish whatever you were doing. It's simply the motherly instinct, and there's really no stopping it.

- Coming home to your apartment and finding things randomly straightened up or rearranged, organized in a certain way that tells you that Dennis was there; at least for a brief moment. It's probably best to keep a clean and neutral area for Kevin to be in whenever he's in your home; mainly to ensure that all your knickknacks aren't all turned perfectly straight or your DVDs aren't put in a different place.

- On that same note: don't be surprised if you get "interrupted" mid conversation by him straightening out your tie or brooch, or the collar of your jacket. You get used to it easily enough, so much so that you start to not even notice or acknowledge it.

- Having things spoiled by Hedwig. He's the reason that you know as much as you do: informing you if another personality has a crush on you, or if Kevin is "totally in love with you", or even if he's planning on proposing at some point. You have to pretend not to know for everyone else's sake, but it still makes your heart skip a beat every time he drops a bombshell on you then innocently giggles in amusement.

- A lot of Barry's sketches start to resemble you: whether it's you in general or just things that fit your style. You sort of become like his muse, giving him inspiration when he can't find it anywhere else. Don't be surprised if he gifts you handmade clothing either: it's part of his love language; that and actually showing you his sketches.

- Getting asked a lot of questions. Kevin likes to know you inside out, as does a lot of his more protective personalities, so it's best to always be an open book. Once they trust you enough, they'll be one as well.

- He always listens to you very intently, so much so that I think he occasionally doesn't realize exactly how much he knows about you and your interests until he starts speaking and is suddenly wondering where it's all coming from. Like, why does he know anything about different nail colors, or art supplies, or your estranged aunt who lives in a different state? Regardless, knowing a lot about your interests, your inspirations, and/or your morals helps him and his personalities open up to and trust you.

- Having help whenever you need something fixed. He built a cult dungeon in a zoo basement, I think he can fix your faulty cabinet hinges.

- He keeps a photo of you in his wallet and occasionally has you make appearances in his different computer journals.

- He's a very "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that" kind of guy. He's very proud of you.

- He has a tendency to ask you who you've "seen" when he knows he's swapped personalities, or asks what you were talking about, etc. Sometimes you lie, mainly for his sake, but most of the time you just tell the truth.

- Strange encounters with The Beast. If he decides he likes you, he'll occasionally come out from time to time and talk about his world order, or about Kevin, or about how you should be proud of your pain, etc. Unfortunately for you, sometimes when you're struggling, it's not your boyfriend or Patricia or someone else who comes around to help you. Instead, it's the thing lurking in the shadows, ready to strike whoever hurt you and make you rejoice in your suffering; oftentimes with a strange level of sexual energy.

- Occasionally being asked to participate in sessions with his therapist. She wants to know how you're handling the relationship and things of that nature, and when you're not in the room with him, she typically tells him that she thinks you're good for him; which further reassures his personalities.

- All of his life; and all of the personalities lives, Kevin has simply wanted to be liked, validated, and/or deemed important. So whenever you praise him, it never fails to make him melt. It's a good way to make him relax and calm him down, letting him know that you're proud of him whenever he's being hard on himself or that you're not upset with him for anything; like when he accidentally messes something up.

- Kevin isn't really a jealous person, he's mainly just insecure. He worries that he's not enough for you, or that another person might be better than him; or at least easier to be with than him. He's a bit more envious than he is jealous, wishing he could be more like someone else, or be the person that they are to you; so that you could come to him instead.

- He tries to act normally, but he occasionally zones out a little whenever your attention is on someone else more than usual, knowing that it will upset him to see or hear you so happy and/or relaxed with them. His other personalities might respond differently as well; they also have more of a chance of coming out in order to try and protect Kevin from whatever he might be feeling. There's also the occasional jealousy between personalities, which is an interesting predicament to try and navigate.

- His personalities protectiveness has definitely begun to bleed from him onto you. Whether or not they all love you, they cannot deny the negative effect that losing you would have on Kevin and how much it would genuinely hurt him. Because of this, they've become incredibly protective of you; especially personalities like Dennis or The Beast. That being said: as protective as they are of you, you're protective of Kevin as well; which makes him feel so happy and loved.

- Fights happen extremely rarely between you and Kevin; you're more likely to bicker with his personalities than you are with Kevin himself. You'll especially get into arguments with The Beast and Dennis, trying to make them see the rights and wrongs of what they're doing and to try and make them stop being so stubborn. Genuine confrontations might occur from time to time, but most of the time, you try to have loving interventions whenever there's a problem between the two of you: ones that are easy to talk out and make up from.

- Kevin himself is extremely bad at confrontation so you have to be very sweet with him whenever he calmly tries to solve an issue with you. If you show any level of anger or disappointment; or even if you don't, he has a tendency to backpedal and just tell you that he's sorry and that you should both just forget about it. It hurts your heart to see it; knowing where it comes from, so regardless of the issue at hand, you honestly can't help but comfort him, which makes solving things a lot easier since you usually maintain a more level head.

- I can definitely The Horde refusing to let you leave whenever you have a fight; whether with Kevin or one of the other personalities. They refuse to acknowledge the connotations of you leaving angry, how you can just decide to never come back, and how much that would kill Kevin; how upset and guilty he would feel because of it. Because of this, they simply don't let it happen, which can be extremely frustrating; and possibly a bit scary. But after a while, you start to calm down and think more clearly.

- It's more than likely that another personality will take over during any sort of conflict and try to smooth things over, trying to ensure that things are solved and settled and oftentimes making excuses. It's difficult to handle at first, but you learn how to deal with it, just like everything else in your relationship.

- It takes him a while to feel comfortable saying he loves you; unless it's Hedwig saying it, but he finds a lot of comfort in you telling him that you love him, and soon enough, he finds comfort in saying it himself. Once he is comfortable, he says it fairly often, loving the fact that he's in love; something he thought wasn't possible for a large portion of his life, and the fact that he can express it.

- Kevin genuinely believes the two of you are soulmates. He thinks you're an angel on Earth and that there's no one else in the world that he'd rather be with than you, so you can definitely expect a very long future together. It might not always be easy, nothing ever is, but if there's anyone worth the potential trouble, it's certainly him.

[gurugirl]

A Balancing Act | Ch. 4*

Series Summary: Harry is a famous, rich, handsome, pop star and he’s been in therapy since his boy band days. When he meets Y/n, a beautiful and successful artist, he cannot take no for an answer when it comes to her. He’s determined to make her his even if he has to bend the rules a little at first.

Chapter Summary: Harry brings Y/n with him on his European tour but when Y/n decides she needs a break to figure things out Harry is beside himself. He's sure she's going to break up with him but she's sure he doesn't want the same things she does. When they finally talk will they both be on the same page?

Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, dom/sub dynamic, angst, DDlg kink,

Word Count: 12.5k

Commissioned by @cinnamonone (thank you!! xoxo)

A Balancing Act Masterlist

A balancing act requires soft poise and harmonious alignment. The joining of differing needs and wants to acquiesce for a perfect, or nearly perfect outcome. One can’t have more than the other. All sides must be used to make a point. The leveling of opinion and decision coupled with the desire to satisfy the ideal effect.

“Put that down. It doesn’t do any good.”

Y/n looked up at Harry who’d placed his palm over her phone to cover her screen. She was trying not to obsess about the pictures of herself. There were so many. And now that she’d been seeing Harry for a few months and was on tour with him in Europe, the gossip abounded. It was wild how quickly everyone learned her name, her age, the fact that she had been married, where her art pieces were showing, and even what kind of car she drove. It was… a lot.

“I know but they’ve caught me in the worst outfit and angle and these comments-“

“Please don’t do that,” Harry spoke as he sat down next to her and slid the phone from her hands, “You’re a knockout. I’ve never once looked at you and thought otherwise. None of that matters. Okay? It’s us. You and me.”

She nodded as he pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head, “I know. But still. I’m just not used to any attention. Not like this.”

“The best thing you can do is to ignore it and don’t look at the articles.”

But of course, that was easier said than done. Going to Europe with him had been a whirlwind. So many fans and friends and his family, day trips, flights, drivers, shopping, studio sessions, meetings, rushing, concerts, flowers, kissing, late-night talking, falling deeper for the man, and sex. There was a lot of sex.

It was stressful. It was fun, though, too. And she enjoyed spending time with Harry in his world but there was very little time for herself in her own world. She didn’t put paint, or ink on canvas the entire time she was with Harry in Europe. She never found the time, even though she had downtime, her inspiration waned. When Harry was in the studio writing, jamming, and making music she didn’t normally go. In fact, after going with him only twice she realized how awkward it was for her to be there. He was working with his band and his team. She was of no use there with him. She felt like she was just in the way. And she didn’t want to be the kind of girlfriend that followed him around like a puppy everywhere.

So she stayed in the hotel or in the villa or wherever they were staying depending on the leg of the trip. She’d venture out to go to cafes by herself, do some shopping, or just to walk around but it became a game of dodging people on the street who started to recognize her. Pictures and videos were taken without her consent. Later she’d see some of the photos in gossip articles and comments saying how she called the paps on herself because why on earth would anyone want a photo of her?

The hate came quickly. The vitriol for a woman that no one knew. Her social media accounts were stalked, screenshots taken and posted on other social media accounts about her and her art and what kind of person she might be based on old posts she’d long forgotten.

One old post on Instagram was of her out on her bachelorette party before she was married. It was a series of six photos. She was wearing something a little bit skimpy, but nothing too crazy. Most of the pictures showed her with a drink in hand, one of her dancing with some man she didn’t know, and the last one was of her the next morning with mangled hair and smeared makeup, a mimosa raised upward, and the words printed over the photo ‘hair of the dog’.

That one got a lot of attention. She was an alcoholic party girl, too fat to be wearing something so revealing, ugly, a slut (for dancing with a man), and the worst insult was “no wonder her ex divorced her”.

Yes, Harry’s fans learned that she had been married. Some knew that her husband had died (she wasn’t sure how they knew). But most assumed she was divorced because she didn’t post publicly about the tragic loss she endured. It was no one’s business, but for people who didn’t know her to make wild assumptions about what had occurred in her marriage was the most hurtful.

But on the other side of that were the fans that simply refused to believe he could be dating Y/n. Many were convinced Harry was either already in a relationship with an ex-band member from his boyband days or it was all for public relations. That her “team” and his “team” were in on something together for publicity. Because that would be the only explanation. Harry would never stoop so low as to date someone like Y/n. Someone who looked like Y/n. Couldn’t be. The Harry “they knew” would never.

Then of course there were those that thought she was simply using Harry’s fame to boost her own popularity in the art world. She was a leech, a sneak, conniving… It all hurt. She wasn’t sure she could stomach much more. And yes, it was true that interest in her art was boosted. Which she really didn’t like because it was more to the fact that “this is a piece of art painted by Harry Style’s girlfriend” rather than a painting that was pleasing to the eye and worth the price tag.

And Harry’s late nights at the studio and after a concert were tiresome. She had been catapulted into this strange reality with a famous man that she felt herself falling for. But how did she fit in with it all? She couldn’t see herself finding her place with him. It all felt very temporary. And the fact that she’d lost the inspiration to create herself was troublesome. The plan was that she could still paint and travel with him and they’d get to be together. She didn’t have to stay home to paint. It was supposed to be easy. But it wasn’t.

But as awful as all that was, she and Harry got closer. He’d arrive late to their bed, crawling over her and wrapping her up in his arms. Normally she’d wake up and nuzzle into him and sigh as they both fell asleep. Sometimes Harry wasn’t ready to go to sleep and he was very persuasive. If he wanted her, well, he had her. She looked forward to, with impatience, having sex with Harry.

Harry had changed her entire view on sex. It was nothing like she’d ever experienced before. Prior to Harry, sex was just sex. It was usually good. Sometimes she’d orgasm. But with Harry, it wasn’t just sex. It was the joining of two separate beings in an act that was vulnerable, exciting, novel, and made Y/n’s heart thrash about in her chest from nerves and thrill. She hadn’t realized how addicted she’d become to what he did. How he handled her body and her mind.

Usually, though, she and Harry had sex during the day. With the sun in the sky, curtains open, and people milling about. She had always been used to nighttime, lights out, on her marital bed sex. Harry liked to have sex anywhere. And he liked to see it all. All of her bits. He’d kiss and praise and then spank her if she tried to hide herself. They had fun together. Sex hadn’t ever been so fun. And she slowly started to see her body in a different light.

After his last show in Paris, she went to his dressing room, like she always did after a show, and he scooped her into his arms and kissed her broadly on the lips in front of everyone. He was hard.

A small gasp fell from her lips as she craned her neck back to look up at him in surprise. He only winked down at her, swiftly turned her around, and placed his hands on her shoulders. He was literally using her body to block his erection from view of his bandmates and the event staff.

When Mitch and Sarah finally made their way to their shared dressing room Harry told his assistant he didn’t need help and dragged her to his big couch after locking the door.

“Need you to take your panties off right now,” Harry spoke as he unbuttoned his pants and kept his eyes on her.

Y/n was wearing a cute maxi dress that was comfy and easy to dance in. She learned that she needed to wear clothes that were comfortable at Harry’s concerts because there was lots of dancing. But she also wanted to look cute because there was never a shortage of photos of her, no matter how much she hated that part. And if she wasn’t dancing she was a fake, a bad girlfriend, a fat blob. Oh, but of course, even if she did dance then that meant she was trying too hard, making herself look ridiculous, and then there was the odd comment about how she was too large to be attempting to dance at all.

She pushed those thoughts down as she lifted the bottom of her dress upward and slid her panties down her legs as Harry pulled a small belt with a ball at the center out of his bag. His pants were undone but his underwear was bulging at the crotch, his cock pressing outward with strain. He stood over her where she was sat on the couch and took her panties from her hands and then motioned for her to turn around, “Face the wall, get on your knees.”

“Harry what are you-“ her words turned into a yelp as he smacked her bottom.

“Do you fucking never learn?” He leaned in and spoke quietly, his voice deep and dark, ��You’ll be getting paddled tonight for that mistake. Address me properly.”

Cursing under her breath she squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t know what it was that didn’t allow her to so easily fall into just calling him Daddy like he wanted. She needed lots of reminders and her bruised bottom was proof of all of her forgetful little moments.

Part of her secretly loved it. Enjoyed the thrill of needing to be corrected and not simply giving in to him all the time.

“Sorry. Daddy. What are you doing?” Her tone clearly sardonic. 

Harry raised his brows and shook his head, ignoring her mouthiness, “I’m going to fuck you against the couch and gag you so no one hears you. Now, turn around pretty girl.”

She pulled herself to her knees and turned so her palms were clutching the leather at the top of the couch and immediately felt Harry’s hands pulling her dress up so her bum was fully exposed and issued another sharp swat to her left side. She jolted in shock before turning to watch Harry behind her.

Harry brought his hands up, her panties in hand, and swiftly pulled the material over her eyes, tying the sides to the back of her head to keep it in place.

“Uh, those are expensive! You’ll stretch them!” She countered as the material hung over her sight.

Harry chuckled darkly and she felt his lips at her ear, “Who bought them for you, baby? I’ll buy you more. Don’t worry about it. Now, keep that mouth open.”

She opened her mouth quickly and felt the silicon ball take its place in her mouth, as he adjusted the buckle to the back of her head. She was unable to see or speak as she was pushed forward, her chest being pressed into the couch. Her bottom was still uncovered and she felt the cool air of the dressing room on her skin as Harry gently caressed her flesh down to where her legs were bent at her knees and over the backs of her calves and ankles before spreading her legs further apart.

“Keep your hands on the wall behind the couch, like this,” Harry moved his palms over her arms until he reached her wrists and pulled her arms out so she kept her hands flat on the wall, causing her back to arch the slightest.

“Good girl. So hot. Unbelievable baby. Daddy’s gonna have a taste now.”

She couldn’t see much or speak at all but she could certainly hear and feel. And the moment Harry’s tongue licked up through her crease her mind shifted into another gear. Harry had eaten her out in this position before. Behind her, his nose at her bum. At first, it gave her a lot of hesitancy, worried she smelled or tasted odd. But he always insisted she was delicious and he could eat her for dinner every night for the rest of his life. His reassurances had her at ease, but it still always gave her pause.

Harry moaned into her pussy as he licked and kissed. His hands were on her ass, spreading her apart as he softly licked, licked, licked… wet and hot from clit to ass, from clit to ass, clit to ass… He spat over her and stuffed two fingers into her cunt and she squealed into the gag, the sound hardly heard in the room. Harry chuffed a laugh at her muffled noises.

Soon she was soppy and achy. Harry noticed how she was pushing herself back into him. That’s where he liked to get her. To the point she was seeking her own pleasure. Where she was so worked up she wanted more.

Harry sat back and stood from the couch and pulled his cock out from his underwear. He pressed his hips into her bottom and brushed his hands over her waist, pushing her dress higher, “Daddy needs his cock milked now. So fucking horny for you, sweet girl.”

She grunted in relief when he pushed into her. It was always a welcome moment. To have his dick inside of her, parting her insides and nudging into her cervix. He was curved in such a way that his wide cock pushed into her front wall on each stroke anytime she was in this position while he was fucking into her.

She kept her hands on the wall as he pounded into her and she steadied herself the best she could but Harry was strong and he always went in with such force that it caused her a good jolt forward on each snap of his hips. Delicious.

When his long fingers wrapped around the front of her neck he squeezed the sides and slowed his plunges, “Wish everyone could hear us. Could hear how filthy your pussy gets when I fuck it. How creamy you are. Wish they could hear how it sounds to have my cock slipping deep into your wet hole.”

Y/n felt her cheeks burn and her head get foggy under the pressure of his fingers on her throat. His thrusts increased again and the couch rocked under them into the paper-thin wall Y/n used to keep herself held up.

A knock at the door and a muffled voice from behind had Harry slowing down but never stopping, “M’busy! Be out in a bit!”

She couldn’t hear whatever was said from behind the door because her ears were ringing. Harry’s cock inside of her gave her tunnel vision. She almost didn’t care if anyone heard at that point. Her body felt so good, her pussy being worked open and split down the middle, her guts rearranged, her ass smacked, throat choked.

“Fans want me out there, but I needed you first didn’t I baby?” Harry’s thrusts were sloppy and harsh as he panted his words, “Daddy wants to fuck his come into you so you’ll be out there with everyone while my sperm drips out of your pussy and down your legs. My dirty little come hole. But that’s what Daddy’s little girl likes, isn’t it? Fuck…” Harry looked down at where he was being gripped by Y/n. Her tight little pussy working its magic on him.

Y/n’s telltale signs were beginning to show. Her thighs were shaking and her back was arching and she was grinding herself onto him each time he’d pull back. She was going to come.

Harry choked out a loud groan into the room, “Fuck! I’m gonna come!”

He reached down to rub her clit just as he began to pour into her pussy. He clenched his teeth and moaned into her ear. With the angle he needed to reach her clit his chest was pressed into her back, his stiff and sharp movements were forceful into her and she felt her own orgasm follow moments later. Thanks to his long fingers that knew just what to do and where to press to get her off.

Drool slid down her chin and to her clavicle as she came. The noise of the couch still creaking under her knees as Harry continued pushing into her increased in sound.

Harry hissed and moaned and kissed the back of her neck as he kept himself stuffed inside of her as she spasmed around him, squeezing his cock of all he had and letting it drain into her. A beautiful symphony of sex in the dressing room.

Harry laughed as he removed the gag and the panties from her face. She had small marks that dug into her skin from the fabric of the panties and the leather of the belt.

“God you’re gorgeous. Gonna go out there with me to meet the fans with my come slipping out of your cunt all night? Hmm?” Harry teased as she straightened her dress out and caught her breath.

And of course, that’s exactly what happened. She walked around and met some fans. Most didn’t know who she was. Some knew her as the girl that had been spending time with Harry. Others joked that she was following him around and that he didn’t want her there.

One pretty young thing, probably still in college, went from having her picture taken with Harry to making a snide remark to Y/n, “I love how you don’t care how you look when you dance.”

To which Y/n replied, “I’m just having fun out there like everyone else,” as she shook her hand (which she hadn’t yet washed after being fucked into oblivion) and felt Harry’s orgasm dripping down her thigh.

There was something so poetic about that moment. The secret that she and Harry shared. The reason why he was 20 minutes late to greeting his fans backstage. And Y/n was the bearer of said secret. Literally, since his come was still inside of her.

And that was just one of many times Harry fucked her in his dressing room. It became a regular thing. He’d gag her to keep her quiet but anyone who stood close enough to the door could hear him moaning and the sounds of skin smacking together and couches rocking. But no one ever said anything. It was Harry’s show after all.

There was one time when they went to an event. The lovely space was packed with people and the table they sat at was mostly Harry’s crew. Jeff and Tom were there and some others. All were people Y/n had gotten to know on some level.

And as per usual, Harry was horny. Y/n had gotten used to his extremely high libido and surprised herself even when she matched him in it. She hadn’t realized she was this way until Harry came along.

She was wearing a custom dress. Nothing like she’d ever had the chance to wear before. She’d worn lovely dresses and her wedding dress, she thought, would have been the nicest article of clothing she’d ever wear. But this dress… this dress was absolutely superior to anything she’d ever laid on her body. She loved it. It fit her so well and flattered her curves and made her feel pretty.

“Want to bend you over this table and spank you so hard right now. Tear this dress off you and make you ride my cock right here at the table,” Harry spoke into her ear as their plates of food were being placed in front of them.

Y/n just smiled and nodded as she listened to him tell her what he wanted to do. That was something she also had started to get used to. He’d do things like this in public and it startled her at first, but after some time she started to enjoy it.

When everyone began eating Harry lowered his hand to her thigh and pulled her dress up. No one could see what he was doing from under the table but Y/n felt it. The material of the dress was slowly lifted until he’d pushed the fabric up enough that he could smooth his palm up between her plush thighs and tickle her pussy with the tips of his fingers.

Y/n let out a gasped laugh and leaned forward before turning to look at Harry in surprise. He only smirked back at her and lifted his brows, “You okay, my dear?”

And Harry usually got his way. If he wanted something he could pretty much always get it. Just like how he wanted her to spread her legs wider so he could have access, she gave it to him. Just like how he wanted to slide two fingers into her cunt, she let him.

To everyone at the table, Harry was holding her thigh. Nothing more. He continued to chat and make jokes as he softly fucked his fingers into Y/n’s pussy.

And the thing about this was that he couldn’t apply much pressure, if any, to her clit, so he fingered her for nearly the entire duration of their dinner. His hand was wet between her legs as he continued slow, meaningful thrusts of his fingers into her.

She was on edge. So absolutely wrecked and worked up that Sarah interrupted the conversation at the table, “Y/n. Are you okay?”

Her chest was rising and falling fast. Harry paused his movements and looked over at his lover and realized, she was indeed a mess. Had barely touched her food when everyone else had just about finished and was panting and sweating. He smiled.

“Oh! Yeah. I… probably should,” she paused to hold back her gasp as Harry pushed his thumb over her clit, “go to the bathroom. Real quick! I’ll be right back!”

Harry was forced to remove his hand from between her thighs and she pushed her skirt down and quickly walked to the hallway where she knew the restrooms were.

Harry excused himself from the table with the excuse to check on her.

Y/n was already rubbing at her clit to make herself come in the stall when Harry barged into the bathroom, “Y/n. Come out, baby. Let me take care of you.”

Her eyes widened and she was quick to walk out of the stall. She needed him badly, “Please, your cock, Daddy,” she said as she lifted her dress and Harry pushed her to lean over the sink and pulled his cock out on her request. He was already hard. Fingering her and feeling her clench around him as she grew wetter and wetter each minute had done him in.

Her panties were ruined. He pushed the drenched material to the side and plunged into her softly as they both moaned, “Rub that pretty little clit for Daddy, baby. Get yourself off.”

It was probably the quickest fuck they’d ever had. Four minutes tops. Y/n was already on fire as her orgasm burst from her core and Harry held her cheeks apart so he could watch his cock, covered in her arousal, slip in and out, in and out until she was coming and shaking and gasping.

White gobs of her come stuck at his base as he continued fucking into her deep and he finally came, filling her to the brim with his come. He pulled out to watch himself drip from her pussy and then pushed himself back in to keep his sperm inside of her where it belonged, “Holy fuck, baby. Your pussy is incredible. Just taking my come like it’s nourishment. Fucking Jesus Christ.”

It felt so good to have Harry inside of her after nearly a half hour of slow, sensual torture with his fingers.

And as they both enjoyed, Y/n dripped of him when they went back to the table to join their friends. No one knew but Harry and Y/n and that was half the fun.

So, yeah, sex with Harry was incredible. Exciting. He never let her feel like she was lacking. He loved using tools on her. Tying her up, clamping her tits and her skin, toys, spanking, spreader bars, cuffs… She’d gotten a taste of what he liked and she loved it all.

And she was pretty sure she loved Harry too. He was the sweetest man. Very attentive and gentle, thoughtful, funny, and honest. But of course, when they were in bed he was dominant and loved to put her in her place but that only added to how much she really liked him. The duality of his nature was exciting to her. And she began to feel more comfortable with her body around him. He never once made her feel bad about her size. He clearly loved every bit of her chub.

So after their whirlwind European trip she was back in Illinois at home and trying to paint while Harry was in LA in the studio working on music and other business endeavors he’d started. They talked every night. She thought the distance would be good for her to focus on her work again but it was like she was blank. Her thoughts were only filled with Harry and what he was doing and the articles with her pictures and comments…

One evening, though, she did have a spark of inspiration. She began sketching out her canvas and mixing colors and finally, after nearly a two-month dry spell, put her brush against the canvas and began to paint. It felt good. She was suddenly struck with the need to create. Hours of building a piece with color and space and lines felt like things had felt before she met Harry.

Her fingers were green and her overalls were splattered and soiled from linseed oil and various hues she’d used on her work when her phone rang. Looking up at the clock she realized it was already 9 pm. Which was the time Harry normally called her every night before he went to the studio (it was 7 pm in LA).

She wiped her hands down her clothes and cursed as she rushed to grab the phone before the call went to voicemail.

It was a Facetime call because of course it was.

“Hello?” She rang out and adjusted the screen so she could see Harry and he could see her. She tried smoothing out her hair and wiping the smudges from her face but there was little she could do to repair her current appearance.

“Hi, baby. I miss you! How are you today?” Harry spoke, his face very close to the phone, and then as he stilled himself and the screen became clear she realized he wasn’t at home. A club perhaps. Maybe someone’s house. Definitely not the studio.

“I’m good. Was just painting a bit. Finally got a spark of creativity tonight. How are you? What are you up to right now?”

Harry sighed and grinned widely, she could tell he seemed a tiny bit tipsy, “I’m at a party and I’ve been telling everyone about you. Wish you were here so you could meet everyone. We’re just chilling, had a couple drinks, then I’m going into the studio in about an hour. Gonna be an all-nighter.”

Y/n nodded and smiled. She wasn’t surprised by any of this. He normally got into the studio late and stayed until 3 or 4 am. He was most creative at that time he told her once.

“Sounds fun. Wish I was there too.”

Just then a young woman nudged into Harry’s shoulder and came in to view on the screen, “Y/n!! It’s you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

She was clearly also tipsy. And just as she was about to respond to the mystery woman she watched as the girl threw her arm over Harry’s shoulder and licked her pink tongue up his neck before kissing it. And it wasn’t just a peck of a kiss. It was quite sensual in fact. As if she were trying to give him a hickey.

Harry laughed and pushed at the girl, prying her arm from him and the girl waved her hand at the video just before moving elsewhere.

“Sorry, Jess is clingy tonight,” Harry smiled and licked his lips.

“Oh is she? Has she been trying to give you a hickey all night then?” Y/n couldn’t help the bit of jealousy that coursed through her. She figured at that point she could trust him. He was a big flirt and she knew this about him. He gave off the wrong impression to people all the time. She’d seen women trying to shoot their shot and he would eventually have them back off but many of them never assumed he was in a relationship. She’d even overhead some women (when she was backstage after concerts) bragging about how they kissed Harry or how they thought they had a shot because he'd been staring at them, which turned out to not be true of course. But it didn’t make the sting feel better.

“No. No, of course not, baby. I wouldn’t let her do that. Only you’re allowed to mark me up.”

“But she’s allowed to lick you and kiss you?”

Harry paused and suddenly the screen was blurry as he appeared to moving through the space to somewhere different.

“Wait, hold on, Y/n.” The screen went dark but she could hear shuffling and some voices until the video showed his handsome face again but now he was outside.

“Please, baby. That was not… she’s been flirting with me a little but it’s all in fun. She’s just a friend. I would never do anything to ruin what you and I have. You know that. God, I wish you were closer so I could tell you in person and see you after the studio. Wake up to you, make love to you…” he trailed off as he spoke but kept his eyes on the screen, his face set in defeat.

“I know how you are, Harry. So I get it. But doing that right in front of me? Kind of tacky. Was she trying to make me jealous? If so, I’d say she’s not a friend.”

Harry groaned and leaned his back to a bench and nodded, “I’ll stay away from Jess. She’s just been finding me all night. I mean, I’ve known her for years so… but you’re right. Sorry.”

Y/n nodded and flattened her lips together. She really hated this. Hated feeling jealous when she figured it wasn’t necessary, hated not being with him, hated how famous he was and how everyone wanted him…

After his call with Y/n, he was careful to dodge Jess. And he hadn’t really been paying much mind to her to be quite honest. Yes, she’d been kind of all over him but he was used to that. Except now he needed to think about his girlfriend and what she might think and how it could be perceived in public. Not that any of the photos from this particular party would come out to the public – it was exclusive and contracts were signed promising privacy and respect of others.

Jess was a friend of Tommy’s and she was often invited to the parties like this and so Harry had gotten to know her over the years. She was always flirty but the question that Y/n brought up was valid. Was Jess trying to make Y/n jealous? It was inappropriate for her to kiss his neck like that when he thought about it with a clear head. Even if he wasn’t on the phone with his girlfriend, that was too intimate of a gesture to be innocent. He couldn’t allow things like that anymore. Not if he wanted to keep Y/n happy. And he didn’t want those kinds of intimate touches from anyone else these days. He missed his girlfriend.

His studio session was productive. He got a lot of writing done and set some vocals down for recording too. But he was still thinking about Y/n. Thinking about how they got off the phone and he’d apologized and she said she was fine but he knew she might not really be. They were too far apart and the distance was a problem. Harry was used to some distance in relationships. It was part of the package that he came with. But he hated it with Y/n more than ever.

He was in love with her. Deeply and madly. In fact many of the songs he started to write after meeting her had something to do with her in one way or another. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He’d dated around and had a couple of serious relationships in the past, but no one left a mark on his heart like Y/n had.

.           .           .

“I’m feeling like I need her with me all the time. But when I offered to fly her out and have her stay here with me in LA she said she thought the distance would be good. I’m going crazy, Pat. I don’t know if she is starting to think about breaking up with me or what. I don’t want her to leave me. But she’s been so aloof lately.”

Pat shifted her leg to cross over her opposite and listened. The man wouldn’t stop talking about Y/n. Every one of their sessions had been dominated by discussions about his new relationship. Harry was sensitive deep down. He had his shit together and he was many times nonchalant about dating and matters of the heart in public, but Pat knew the truth. He was sweet and his heart was delicate.

“Just let her sus everything, Harry. You can’t push her and you know that. She’s probably going through some growing pains with you. You’re uber-famous and everyone loves you and to her, it probably feels like she’s just your girlfriend who gets a lot of mean things printed about her. It’s very likely overwhelming. Maybe she’s trying to get her head on straight and figure out what’s best for her.”

“But what if she learns that she’s better off without me?”

Pat chuckled, “What if she does? Would you still want to force her to be with you?”

Harry sighed deeply and frowned, “I guess I wouldn’t want to make her do anything she didn’t like. But that’s the thing. I know she and I have something special. When we’re together it’s like everything just makes sense. I don’t want her to let all the awful things people make up about her be how she makes her decision. Because what she and I have is incredible.”

“But you’re seeing this from your point of view. Not hers. Give her space if she needs it. Keep open communication but let her decide what she can handle.”

He didn’t like the idea that Y/n would decide he wasn’t worth it. He’d finally found the one he thought was his soulmate. The one he loved and wanted to be with for the rest of time, but now she was stepping back. Putting more space between them than he liked.

And when he offered to come to her she declined that suggestion as well. Stating it would be better to be apart for a bit. Which indicated to Harry she was done or at least considering that idea. But he couldn’t understand it! How could she be done with him? He was so far from done with her. He’d never want to be “done” with her. He wanted to marry her, have babies with her, take her with him everywhere, curl into her body, and let his skin sink into hers for all eternity.

He partly blamed the night he talked to her when Jess made her unfortunate appearance and partly the fans. Harry loved his fans. He enjoyed interacting with them most of the time. He loved the attention and the enthusiasm they gave him. He loved creating for them. But they were the ultimate cock block if there ever was one. Every relationship he’d tried to maintain while being famous had, in the end, been affected deeply by his fans. Social media was brutal as it was, but when fans got ahold of the articles and posted pictures and got “involved” it only led to awful things. Many times social media stirred the pot but the fans kept the lies and the assumptions (conspiracy theories even) flying and going on for longer than it was necessary. But it’s not like he could just drop his fans. They were what his empire was built on. He wouldn’t be doing what he was doing without them. It was all a balancing act.

“I think I’m gonna go see her. Just to talk face-to-face. I can’t go on not knowing what’s really happening and doing it over the phone is not giving me the whole picture.”

“Harry… I think it would be wise to keep her wishes in mind. You are a convincing and charismatic man and so for you to go to her in person could interrupt her rational critique. You could just be doing more harm to the relationship this way. It would be a hindrance more than anything. You might just be prolonging the inevitable and don’t you think it’s better to let things take their course naturally? You don’t always have to make all the moves and sway the outcome. This isn’t a business. This is love and relationship stuff. It doesn’t follow the same rules.”

.           .           .

Y/n had been feeling pretty good. Her mind was clear and her inspiration was at an all-time high. It had been a month since she’d seen Harry in person but they still spoke almost every night. She still loved him. She missed him, but the time apart felt necessary. Felt like she could grasp reality again.

But one thing was certain with the distance. It was that she couldn’t take not seeing him and touching him. She was thriving, but she was beginning to miss him more than she thought she would. Instead of getting easier, it got harder. Her nights would be spent thinking of him, what it would be like living with him, kissing him, marriage, babies… But she wasn’t sure if he was feeling like they were headed in that direction. Because if he didn’t feel like any of that was in their future then the relationship should be stopped. It couldn’t continue to jog along on the same path that it had been. They needed to progress and she needed to know he was committed to her and that he felt the same way. But as it was, their relationship was very good, it just wasn’t the kind of relationship that felt like it could move beyond what it was. She needed to tell him and be honest about what she wanted. Marriage, babies, 100% commitment… But what would happen once she told him all of this? Would he run for the hills? It could very well be the end of them.

.           .           .

She had insisted that he not come to the gallery where her work was displayed. It was in New York City and he begged to come. He told her he would take some time off before the next leg of his tour began. Told her that he had a beautiful spot he always stayed at and she could be with him and he’d take her out to his favorite restaurant in the city… but she said no. And Pat told him to listen to her.

Which was hard for him. Harry didn’t like being told no, and normally, no didn’t matter much (of course depending on the situation). Normally, he’d just go anyway and surprise her and dote on her, and in his mind, she’d be so happy and they’d have amazing sex and things would go back to how they were before she pushed for distance. But that’s not how it went.

Instead, she had a weekend in New York City without him. They spoke every night and she told him everything and he pleaded with her some more to let him come to her but she still said no.

On Sunday when they got off the phone Harry was beside himself. She had been too busy to really talk. She was getting on a flight to go back home so he understood why but that didn’t mean he was okay. He cried. He felt his heart drop and felt her slip away. She didn’t want to see him, she didn’t want his support, and she wouldn’t go to see him either… so what was left?

He’d been good and paying attention to, heeding Pat’s advice. He knew she was right. He knew he couldn’t force her hand in this. But God did it hurt. If only she’d let him visit her she’d see how good they were together. Nothing else mattered.

But he needed to know what she wanted. Because it didn’t feel like she wanted the same thing. They needed to talk, face-to-face, and he needed her to be direct. To rip off the band-aid once and for all. Then he could begin to heal and try to get over her.

When she called him the following day it was unexpected because it was much earlier than they usually had their calls and it was just a call, not a Facetime chat.

“Hi. How are you?”

Harry had had a lump in his throat for the last few days with his thoughts about her. About how she was going to end it. About how she didn’t really want to put in the effort to be with him. That he wasn’t worth it. That his fame and his fans were too much.

“I’m good. You’re calling a bit early. What’s going on?”

“I just had some really good news! A curator bought ten of my paintings and will be hosting an exhibit at David Kordansky and I’ve been invited to go as a guest of honor of sorts, amongst the other artists! It’s going to be all these big names. Oh my god, I’m so excited!”

Harry smiled widely, “Baby, I’m so proud of you. When is the exhibit?”

“It’s next weekend! And you know David Kordansky, right?”

“Uh… no. Sorry. Should I?”

Y/n giggled into the phone, “Oh… it’s just one of the biggest and most popular galleries in Los Angeles.”

Harry’s eyes went wide, “Here? You’re coming here?”

“Yes! God, I’m so excited! You’re the first person I’ve told and I just got the news right before calling you. So, I’m still processing it all. But yeah! And a bonus is that maybe you can come! If you want. If you can!”

“Absolutely. I’ll tell everyone I’m booked next weekend. Spending it with my girl.”

She sighed into the receiver with a big grin on her face, “I can’t wait to see you, Harry.”

.           .           .

Y/n was properly nervous. She had been trying to keep her distance from Harry but it had sort of backfired. She wanted to feel out the situation without his influencing nature and his hot body, and those pink lips pecking at her, his deep voice luring her to see it his way. The longer she was away the more she realized that she could barely breathe without him. She was so far gone for the guy that the distance only made her ache. Yes, she got a bit of her creative spark back, but she felt like that was more of an internal issue than it was to do with Harry.

But her nerves weren’t because she was going to see him after over a month. The nerves were because she needed to confront him with her real feelings and find out if he was on the same page. She had to know once and for all what he wanted. And if any of her ideas of where the relationship should head weren’t on Harry’s radar, well, it had to be over. They couldn’t continue like they were. It was perpetual limbo. Purgatory. She loved him and if she were younger with more time to spare she’d enjoy traveling with Harry and just having fun without expectation of where their final destination would land them. But as it was, she wanted to start having babies in the next few years. And if Harry didn’t then she’d need to start over and begin dating around. And that takes time. So she needed to get a move on. Find someone that wanted the same things she did. If that wasn’t Harry.

She had planned for the worst. All the scenarios in her mind led to them breaking up. She couldn’t imagine that Harry would be willing to settle down with her. He had the whole world at his fingertips. And she was just a girl from the Midwest. She really didn’t imagine that they had much more left to pick at. The pages stopped turning. The well had run dry. It was fun while it lasted.

Harry had his driver take him to the airport to pick her up. She told Harry she could just take a taxi but he didn’t want to miss a single moment with her. Wanted to see her the second she arrived in LA. And he was there. Waiting for her just as he said he would.

He scooped her into his arms and felt tears prick at his eyes, “Oh my god. Y/n… I missed you so much.”

She felt her heart swell and lurch with his arms around her and his lips on her forehead. Right in front of everyone in the airport. Photos were snapped and Harry didn’t care. He looked down at her and she noticed his eyes were glossy, “Harry…” she thumbed at his cheek, “Are you okay?”

Harry sniffed and the tip of his nose was red as he nodded, “I am now.”

She’d been to his house before they went away to Europe. They spent two days having sex and just staying in enjoying one another. Those two days were her favorite memories with Harry. Not that she hadn’t absolutely enjoyed everything else they’d done together and where they spent their time but there was something really special about being in his lovely home doing nothing with him and eating some of the best food she’d ever had (a combination of Harry’s cooking, delivery from some of the best restaurants in LA, and leftovers from a fancy catered party that Harry skipped but had requested two large bags full of yummies dropped off for them).

And the moment Harry had her in his house this time around, they were tearing clothes off and making love on his big bed. Harry didn’t bother with the clamps or ties or the belt this time. He just wanted her. Wanted to show her himself and how much he loved her. In fact, he planned on telling her he loved her soon. He needed her to know how he felt.

And the irony of it all was that Y/n was thinking the same thing. She wanted to tell him how she felt. He needed to know the truth and she needed to know where he stood. But they were both hesitating and it didn’t come out quite the way they intended.

“I think we should talk a little, Harry. I’ve had something on my mind for a bit. It’s… kind of important.”

They were both still naked lying on his bed when she blurted it out. Harry felt his stomach drop. He’d been constantly on edge that she was going to break up with him and he didn’t know if his heart could handle it.

So instead of talking he sat up quickly and got off the bed, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s talk. Um, I need to take a shower first… and then uh… we can talk. Yeah.”

Harry cried in the shower. Preparing himself for the worst. Trying to get his emotions out and let his body soak in the warm water and calming scent of his shampoo. He was a mess. And he assumed it was over.

And to Y/n, him hopping out of bed like that and running off when she said they should talk, that move was his answer. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to hear her truth. He had no intention of being committed or serious with her. He only wanted sex and fun. And that was great, but she was closing in on 30 and it was time to settle down and find love. And it was clear to her now, that Harry didn’t want that. Or at least not in the way she did.

She paced in his bedroom for a bit after dressing herself but when he was still showering, twenty minutes later she went downstairs and paced in his living room. She saw a bouquet of flowers near the front door at the table with a card in it and she automatically plucked the card out to read. It hadn’t occurred to her that she would be reading anything that could upset her. But she was caught off guard by the message.

“Let’s get dinner tonight, H. I miss you endlessly. Love – O”

She flipped the card over and there was nothing on the back except the name of the florist. No date anywhere. She didn’t know when these were delivered or if he’d had dinner with his ex. Her heart sank and her stomach felt heavy.

She slowly made her way back up the stairs and realized the shower was off. Harry was done. She found him standing on his balcony looking out over his garden. He hadn’t even bothered to find her. To see what she wanted to talk about that she said was important. He clearly didn’t care.

He took a 35-minute shower and then went out to chill on his balcony.

She considered just leaving without a word. Just calling an Uber and leaving for good. Getting a hotel room and forgetting about it all.

But now she was pissed.

She opened the balcony door and Harry was startled when he heard her approaching.

She laughed as she shook her head, “Forget I was even here huh?”

Harry scrunched his brows and shook his head but before he could respond she continued, “That’s okay. I get it. You and I aren’t on the same page. You’re having fun and you’re free and getting invited out to dinner with your ex, and-“

“Wait! What? I don’t-“

Y/n put her hand up, “You heard me. It’s okay. We never made any sort of promises or real commitments. Never said we’d wind up married or together in the end. You’re at your best and you deserve fame and fun and freedom. I’m only holding you back.”

Harry put his hands on her shoulders and shook his head, “No. Y/n… this was what I was worried about that you were-”

“That I want a real relationship? I’m almost 30. I can’t be playing around and traveling the world when I don’t know what you even want. And you just made it clear how disinterested in my concerns you really are-“

“Y/n. Please. What are you-“

“Stop. All you do is tell me what I should think and what I should do. You’re too… you pressure me to see things your way and you never listen. So now you listen to me.” She swallowed to gain her composure and looked up at him squarely so he understood how serious she was, “I can see now clearly, you have no interest in making a family with me. In being with me. You’re just having some fun. And that’s okay. But our fun has come to an end. I can’t go on like this anymore. I need to find someone who wants what I want. Someone who isn’t stuck on their ex and someone who will tell the whole world about me and not pretend that I’m just someone you hang out with.”

Harry shifted on his feet. He hadn’t expected this. In all the scenarios he ran in his mind she was breaking up with him and she didn’t want to be with him and he wasn’t worth it. But she was saying she wanted commitment. He smiled and opened his mouth but Y/n scoffed.

“See? You’re not even taking this seriously! Here I am telling you I’m breaking up with you and you’re smiling! You couldn’t give a shit!”

Harry’s smile fell from his face, “No I was… You’re breaking up with me? Y/n please-“

She pushed him off of her and backed away, “Go and enjoy dinner with Olivia or whoever. I’m out of here.”

Harry ran after her, “No! You can’t leave me! Please that’s not what happened. I didn’t even see her. And if you’d just listen-“

Y/n stomped her foot and turned to face the tall man. She pointed her finger at this chest, “I’m done listening. We’re done. You broke my heart.”

Harry shook his head and followed behind Y/n the whole way to the front door, pleading with her to stop so they could talk but she continued to cut him off.

“Stop! You don’t get to push me into making a decision anymore. It’s over.”

She gathered up her bags and shakily pulled her phone out to bring up her Uber app to call for a car. She was thankful all of her bags were still near the front door.

She rushed out of the house and Harry felt like he was going mad. She wouldn’t let him talk and explain and tell her that he wanted what she wanted. Every time his mouth opened she yelled for him to stop. Screamed even. Had he been so insufferable that this was how she reacted to him?

So he watched with tears in his eyes and his heart in his hands as she loaded her things into the Uber and left him standing at his gate.

He didn’t know what he would do. What could he do? He needed to let her cool off and then he’d go to her and have a conversation. He’d make her see that they’d been on the same page all along.

He called Mitch to get advice.

Mitch asked him why he hadn’t called Pat instead but Harry insisted his best friend would give him the best and most brutal advice, while also supporting him and wishing him luck. Which is actually what happened.

“Go and surprise her at the gallery. Do something ridiculously dramatic and then declare your love for her to everyone in the room. Something like that. I don’t know man. I think you two will work it out. You’re so good together. I think she just needed some time, ya know.”

Harry sighed, “Pat’s going to hate that. But I’ve got to do it, though, right? Do something absolutely nuts to get her to listen to me.”

.           .           .

Y/n had the worst, absolutely the most horrible, awful evening. She bawled her eyes out and barely slept. Harry hadn’t even tried reaching out to her. Not that she really wanted that. She half expected it. But it only solidified everything to her. She imagined he probably slept like a baby.

The following day was the exhibit. She was not prepared. Not mentally anyway. Her tears had barely dried by the time she was entering the gallery. She put on a happy face and forced herself to talk and smile. But she only felt the dread of what had happened the day before.

The curator greeted her, bringing a glass of champagne for her to sip, “I’m amazed by your work. I think your collection fits in so nicely here. But you know I’m holding on to all your pieces until one day someone offers me a million each for them,” he laughed and Y/n smiled. She doubted that would ever happen.

The evening should have been amazing. She was meant to have Harry with her and it was supposed to be a big night for her. Something that could potentially change the trajectory of her career. But Y/n wasn’t happy. Her exciting moment was clouded by thoughts of Harry and how she loved him but now it was over.

Through the doorway opposite the entrance was a small bar area. Guests could go get their drinks and then head back into the gallery. But there were a few bar tables and some stools. Y/n had been eyeing it all night. A moment to get away and sit by herself for a while.

The room was darker and quieter, even though it was open to the main gallery. The small high-top tables had four tall, cushioned stools around each. The only person in the bar was the bartender.

“Hi. Can I have a glass of chardonnay?” Y/n leaned into the bar and her eyes settled over the array of colorful bottles lined up behind the young lady who stood at the bar.

The young woman smiled, “Sure. Anything in particular? Would you like to see what I’ve got?”

“Not really. This is going to sound so bad, but just the cheapest one.”

Y/n dug into her small clutch to pull out her phone card and then waited as the young lady poured a glass of Y/n’s cheap glass of wine.

“Your art is excellent. I’m a big fan.” The woman looked over her shoulder as she plumbed the top of the bottle with the cork and placed it back into the small fridge below the counter.

“You know my work?” It was not expected. She didn’t think the bartender would know the artists by their faces alone.

“Yes! Of course. I usually get to know who the artists are that have their pieces here. Yours is outstanding.”

She felt her face get warm from the odd feeling she always got when someone loved her work and recognized her. She still hadn’t gotten used to that feeling yet but she enjoyed it nonetheless.

When she took the glass she thanked the lady for the wine, “And, thank you for the kind words too. That means a lot to me.”

She took a deep breath and sipped her wine in the empty space as she attempted to let her bad mood dissolve. She knew it was impossible to let it go completely. Her wound was so fresh. She’d just gotten her heart broken and that would take some time to grapple with. But she knew she could be okay because she’d dealt with and come through the worst kind of tragic loss anyone can imagine. Losing Robert devastated her. For a very long time. She’d only gotten to a place where she felt she was ready to find love again. And her short time with Harry was nothing in comparison to what she’d suffered. So yeah, she’d been through far worse. She’d be okay.

The music that played in the small space was slow and the tune sounded a lot like an old Foo Fighters song. But it was all instrumental and she couldn’t be sure. She pulled out her cell phone and decided to text her sister. Catch up a bit. Feel something sweet and nostalgic to get her mind off of her sorrows.

She smiled when her sister texted back with a picture of the kids.

She looked up and paused to listen closely to the music playing again. Yeah. It was an instrumental version - definitely Foo Fighters. Everlong. That was the song! She snapped her fingers and smiled again as he looked back at the picture of her nieces.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Y/n. This is for you.” The bartender laid an envelope down on the table. It had her name written on it.

This felt very reminiscent of-

She looked around the room and out into the gallery, where people fitted in lovely outfits and amazing hairstyles milled about, in search of the one person that might have had something to do with this.

She looked back down at the envelope and toward the young lady who had already gone back behind the bar, “Who gave this to you?” She was hesitant to open it.

“Ms. Adams. The gallery’s director. She said it was from a very special guest.”

A very special guest.

She wasted no more time in ripping the top of the envelope open knowing already who it was from.

She braced herself for what she might read on the folded paper inside. Her heart walloped in her chest and she felt her throat go dry as she carefully pulled the paper out and unfolded it.

I’m sorry for the way things happened yesterday. I wanted to tell you so much more. I need you in my life, Y/n. Take a drink in the director’s office with me? Please? - H

She swallowed thickly and placed the paper down on the lacquered wood. The words stared up at her. Very reminiscent of that night. Their first night together.

She decided to take a moment. Finish her glass of wine and find her resolve. She’d see him. Because of course, she would. She’d fallen for the guy and perhaps closure would be good. For both of them. She tried not to get her hopes up.

But even with the idea that she wouldn’t get her hopes up, from the very base of her spine, small bursts of hope began spreading over her back, warming her up and causing the edge of her lip to flick upward the tiniest bit.

She had to stop. She couldn’t allow the butterflies and the warmth to cover her chest. This wasn’t an olive branch. This wasn’t hope. But that was what her body was feeling, the way it reacted after reading his words.

Stop.

She read the note again and the right side of her mouth quirked but she stifled the smile that tried breaking out over her features.

“Uh, hi!” She scooted off her stool and waved at the bartender, “Do you know where the director’s office is by chance?” The young woman smiled, “Follow me, Ms. Y/n.”

Y/n followed behind the young woman to a doorway at the far end of the room and into a hallway. Framed prints were hung along the wall and the floor was dark wood while the walls were a light cream. A few doors were passed, the bathrooms, a numbered room, until finally, they reached the director’s office.

The woman knocked before turning the knob to open the door and stood back, “Here you are.” She gestured at the open door.

“Thank you.” Y/n wavered in her movements wondering if this was the right thing. Should she entertain this idea? Of course, she was going to entertain this idea, but part of her wanted to keep her tough exterior and remain firm in her decision.

Slowly pushing the door further open, she stepped into the threshold and was met with a quaint office-sized room. The same dark wood floors sprawled below her feet, but the very first thing her eyes landed on was that of Harry holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing a soft smile.  

She closed the door behind her and stepped in a couple of feet. He was in a well-fitted navy suit and he looked tired. But he was handsome.

The thought quickly hit her. How did he get in here? Who let him use the director’s office? But then, as he ran his ringed fingers through his hair and she saw remnants of chipped nail polish she was reminded of who he was. Not just her lover or her ex. But he was Harry. Everyone knew him or knew of him. Of course, he was allowed in the director’s office.

“Hi, Y/n,” Harry spoke reticently as he held out the bouquet to her.

He wasn’t sure she’d come to him or that she’d want to even talk to him. And he thought about making a grand gesture. Take over the audio system and declare his love publicly before everyone as he walked out into the crowd toward her. Make a scene. Make her listen. Have everyone rooting for them. Rooting for him.

But that wasn’t right. That would have been too pushy. Not fair. This night was about her. If he’d gone about it the way he wanted it would have had all eyes on him.

He knew, though, that he needed to be here with her. To tell her how he really felt and what he wanted and then if she still wanted that with him, still wanted to be with him, they could end the night the way it was meant to be ended. Together.

“Hi, Harry,” Y/n spoke softly, keeping her eyes on his eyes as she took the lovely bouquet full of pink peonies and soft cream roses.

Harry gestured toward the brown Midcentury style couch, “Will you sit with me? I won’t take up much of your time if you don’t want. I just wanted to say some things.”

The couch was large enough for just two people. Harry was glad she had to sit so close to him. He wanted to eat her up she looked so pretty and so sweet. And just the fact that she’d come to him to entertain a conversation had him soaring.

Placing the bouquet down on the glass coffee table, Y/n noticed the bottle of wine and two glasses as he pointed, “Would you like a glass?”

Nodding her head, Harry pulled the cork out and poured her a bit of the red wine. She felt like she should say no just for the fact that she’d only just finished a glass of white wine and surely it would make the red wine taste odd. But ultimately she figured she could use another glass of wine.

“Yesterday I was working up the courage to tell you how I want to be with you for good,” Harry said as he leaned his back into the cushion behind him with his own glass of wine, “Wanted to tell you how serious I am about you. But I thought you were planning on breaking up with me so I needed a minute to figure out how I was going to convince you to stay.”

Y/n’s eyes bounced over his features as she cinched her brows inward. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Had he wanted the same thing she did the whole time?

“And I’m so sorry that it seemed to you like I was putting off a serious conversation with you. That’s my fault. I should have stayed there with you in bed and listened to you right off. Even if it meant potentially having you break up with me,” he licked his lips and sighed, “Instead, I did what I normally do and tried and figure out a way to make something work in my favor. So I paused that moment hoping you’d change your mind, or that I could come up with something. Prolonging it for the sake of just holding on to you a little longer.

“It’s because I’m selfish and I like to control the narrative. But that’s never been fair to you. So, I understand if my apology is no good anymore. I just felt like maybe I can tell you what was really happening in my head yesterday. Because that part, you did have wrong.”

Y/n blinked her eyes and nodded, “Well, then… I guess I’m sorry too. Because it sounds like I might have jumped to conclusions. I just didn’t think you’d want something serious. Long term. But there’s more to it than just that you know?”

Harry frowned and shook his head, “What do you mean?”

Y/n could see how timid Harry had been since the moment she walked into the room with him. She felt the need to help assuage him so she turned her body toward his and pulled his hands into hers before speaking, “I mean that I’m getting older and I think it’s time for me to really settle down. For good. I mean…” she breathed out a nervous laugh, “like, babies, marriage… death. All that. That’s what I mean.”

Harry nodded and raised his brows, “Yeah?”

Y/n grinned as Harry’s thumbs ran along the sides of her hands. The corner of his mouth pulled upward. She could see his swagger return in almost an instant. His eye contact was solid and his dimples carved into his cheeks.

“Well, yeah,” she started to feel flustered by his proximity, the way she could see his pupils roaming over her face and watching her mouth, “I’m not saying we need to get married but like,” she swallowed, “I’d like for us to be serious enough to know that we’d be headed that direction if things are good. And I know you’re super famous and that’s why yesterday I just…”

“I want to be with you. I want it all with you.” Harry bowed his head, finally breaking eye contact and his hands tightened around hers, “I thought you were done with me. I thought you were going to break up with me and that I wasn’t going to be worth all the trouble for you. Because I know this is a lot.”

“No. I just thought you wouldn’t want what I wanted and the way you reacted to me telling you I wanted to talk and how you didn’t come to find me after you were done showering… I felt like you were trying to figure out the best way to break it to me- either that or you were trying to avoid me. I just… Thought the worst.”

She couldn’t have described the way her insides were pulsing and expanding and churning. She’d spent the better half of the day reeling over losing him. Over knowing she might not get to look into his eyes in this way again. Might not see the small freckles on his face again and the way he blushed despite being so sure of himself. But here she was sitting with Harry and in under three minutes everything had changed. If she had just listened yesterday. If he had just listened.

“But so did I. That’s why we’re in this mess. I thought you were breaking up with me and so my behavior made you think the worst.”

Y/n smiled and allowed herself to indulge in his eyes and in the grin he was holding back and the way his fingers felt on hers… Was she just dreaming? Was she just about to wake up and realize it had all been a dream?

“Is it okay if I… ?” He pulled at her gently and slowly wrapped his arms around her and she smelled his familiar cologne. She loved how this felt. Hugging him. Feeling his solid body against hers. She eased into his hold and wrapped her own arms around him.

Harry whispered into her ear, “I should have told you everything yesterday. Let you talk and then we wouldn’t have gotten in this mess. It’s me and you, Y/n. Okay? Me and you. That’s what I want.”

Tears of relief and elated joy broke from her waterline and Harry pulled her in tighter, kissing her temple, “I thought you were done with me. I thought you wanted to break up with me,” the anguish in his voice was not missed. He’d been hurting too.

Harry brushed his palm up and down on her back slowly and pressed his lips to the top of her head, “God I was so worried this was it for us. Fuck. I’m not letting you leave me again like you did. I can’t be away from you like that, Y/n.”

Pulling her head back to look up at him she did see the glisten in his eyes from the start of tears. She knew hers matched. It all felt like a dream. But just in case it was real she needed to speak the words. Sliding her hands upward and cupping his face she was nearly trembling from relief and excitement, “I love you, Harry.”

Harry closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into hers, clutching her lovely dress tightly, “God, I love you, Y/n.”

.           .           .

Stepping into the gallery with all the other people in the room and having Harry by her side felt surreal. Everyone was watching them. She was okay to share this night with him. There was no way around it that people wouldn’t be interested in her because of her boyfriend. She figured that would be something she’d just have to get used to.

Harry squeezed her hand tight and she looked up at him. He looked proud. So important with a big, pleased smile on his lips as he looked down at her.

“You realize you’re coming back home with me after this. Right? And I’m never letting you leave me again.”

Harry had grown a lot as an individual. He still had moments where he could be pushy and use his charm to get the things he wanted, but he figured some things just couldn’t be totally trained out of him. He allowed Y/n to make her own choices. He gave her space when she needed but she came back to him in the end. He wanted her to be his and everything they’d done that had gotten them to where they were currently had worked out. So Harry had no regrets about coming to her on this night.

“Of course, I’m coming home with you. I’d be offended if you assumed otherwise,” she smirked happily. “And I wouldn’t dream of leaving you again.”

Harry couldn’t wait to get her home and make love to her. Seal it all together in finality. He knew that tonight was just the beginning for them.

And as if they could both read one another’s minds they smiled and paused together in time. Everything had finally come together for them. At last.

A/N: This is the last part of this series! Would love your feedback!

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[orange-foxes]

The Minyard-Josten Rivalry

💥 Secrets and Honesty by fullyvisible (43k, series: Part 1 of 3)

Neil and Andrew aren't on the same professional teams, but that doesn't mean they're any less together. When a photograph gets taken out of context, they decide to go with it, as long as they're both having fun. And they are. Right?

💥 The Crooked Kind by youreyestheyglow (10k)

Neil went pro a year ago--and not on Andrew's team. The problem: they're private people, and when the press takes their declarations of hate at face value, Andrew and Neil find themselves unwilling to end the rumors.

💥 Minyard-Josten: A Rivalry For The Ages by dustbottle (4k)

After four years of playing together at Palmetto State University, Neil and Andrew end up on different professional teams. Neil is the new striker for the Atlanta Hawks; Andrew is goalie for the Boston Rebels. This is the story of their so-called rivalry. Three guesses as to who starts the rumours. (Spoilers: It’s Neil.)

💥 Captured moments by simplydevotedtoyou (9k, series: part 3 of 3)

Neil has finally made it to pros, joining the RedSock Lions in Chicago. Andrew however is with the Houston Hornets. When Andrew is asked about how he feels about seeing his ex team mate on an opposing team, he makes a comment which starts the supposed 'rivalry' between the ex team mates. What the majority of people don't know is that Neil and Andrew are in fact together and have been since college, well that is until someone releases photos of them which show that the whole rivalry wasn't 100% real. or Neil and Andrew are both too stubborn to let the other have the last word.

💥 The Truth Behind It by wematch (3k)

Neil finally makes a Twitter account the year after he leaves the Foxes. His PR has been nagging him about making a social media account since he joined the team but ultimately he uses it to annoy Andrew. Of course things escalate and the rumours of a rivalry between the two form, that is until Neil clarifies everything.

💥 Reputation by lemonicee (8k)

The rise and fall of the Minyard-Josten Rivalry. Usually when Neil starts shit in a post-game press interview, he does it on purpose. This time, he really just meant for it to be a joke. “How do you feel about the possibility of ending up on a team with a former Fox teammate?” is the next question. “Great,” Neil answers, sincere. “I would love to play with Matt or Kevin again.” “What about Minyard? Would you sign with Atlanta?” Neil says, “Andrew? He’s a nightmare.” He knows it’s a joke. His team knows it’s a joke. Andrew will know it’s a joke. The press does not seem to know that it’s a joke.

💥 Rivalry? by loverloverlover (3k)

"In their first pro-game against each other last year, Andrew had greeted him with a middle finger and his signature two-fingered salute. Neil had shot back a mockingly flirty wave, but no one else saw the affection behind their gestures—only the taunts." OR Andrew and Neil are on different professional Exy teams, and after being apart for months, their teams are finally playing each other. In true Neil Josten fashion, something goes wrong.

💥 Minyard vs Josten ;) by introvertedtiger (2k)

ever since Neil and Andrew had gone pro and started playing AGAINST each other, the media thought they hated each other. in reality they’ve been married for two years and Neil’s getting bored of the rivalry and is finally ready to change the name on his jersey.

💥 The societies we despise by This_Witch_Writes (5k)

Technically it all started because of two cats. Andrew’s phone number had been leaked and he was waiting on a new sim card. So when Neil saw the cats, one black and one ginger, play fighting beside the Chicago Bean, he had tweeted the picture to him instead of texting it. An innocent enough tweet on the surface, tagging Andrew and adding the caption “us”. To Neil, Andrew and their family, an obvious and even uncharacteristically sappy statement of long-held affection. To exy fans on the internet, a declaration of war.

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober Day 17 - Nowhere Else to Go

title: the voices in my head think you're pretty cool

fandom: last life smp

~

Martyn pulls his knees up to his chest, gazes out across the darkening server.

He can't say that he expected to find his way here. On top of Scar's base, alone.

Well, not alone.

He thinks it's a hallucination. He's fairly sure it is, even. Not a hundred percent, because. You know. Voices in his head and whatnot.

Hearing voices means they’re almost guaranteed to tell you that they’re real, whether they are real or not. Martyn’s been hearing voices for a while now—though, they’ve definitely said a lot more in the past few weeks than they have in months—which seems like it’s more a sign of schizophrenia than it is anything else. His uncle had schizophrenia. Cool guy. Is it genetic?

Of course, the voices never tell him anything useful. They just give him commands (that he probably shouldn’t follow, come to think of it) and speak in riddles.

That’s a bit of an unfair overstatement, he supposes. They aren’t cryptic all the time. When he isn’t in a game like this, whenever they say anything, it’s just a little comment in the back of his head. Nothing terribly malicious or ominous. Just adding the occasional thought.

“Do you ever miss the simpler days?” Martyn asks idly, twirling an arrow between his fingers.

It’s chilly out. His fingers are a bit numb, chapped by the wind, but it doesn’t feel worth it to reach into his backpack and dig through for his gloves. He’s pretty sure he cut the fingers off them, anyway. It made them look cooler. Added some convenience for arranging the wires of traps.

The simpler days, of course, call back to the very beginning of 3rd Life. Way back, back to before something in the back of his head decided to start talking—building a base with Ren, staying up late with him, trading endless supplies of stories that never seemed to run dry.

“You know that feeling? When you click with someone so well that you could talk for hours? I don’t know how many times I went to go check the gates were locked before we went to bed, and ended up dilly-dallying at the bedroom door for ages just chatting. You ever felt that?”

No response. Martyn doesn’t really expect them to say anything, to be fair.

Those were the days. Chilly, like tonight. That world had shifted quickly from the end of fall into winter—that night at Blackheart altar, the snow piling up gently around them, will forever remain in Martyn’s memory.

Gall, he misses Dogwarts. The Red King was a fun fella, all bloody and terrifying (but soft and kind toward Martyn).

It’s a feeling like a sausage rolling across a grill that runs through the back of his mind—bumpy and uncomfortable, almost like a forced shudder. Martyn raises a brow.

“What, no love for the Red King? I thought he was all right.”

The Red Army, too . . . those really were the days. Patrolling with Etho, the two of them bundled up so thickly no skin was visible. Helping BigB replace his cookie. Sprinting toward the Crastle with Skizz, intent on blood.

He misses the easy trust that they’d all shared. 3rd Life was so much more cut-and-dry. He’d known he could depend on any one of those men, and Ren more than anyone else. Here? Here, he’s sitting alone on a house whose owner had long been betrayed, trying to work up the courage to go out swinging.

The arrow slips, the head of it pulling across his finger. Martyn hisses, holds his finger close to his face to try and see it. It’s dark, but he doesn’t think it broke the skin. He sticks the finger in his mouth—yep, no taste of blood. That’s good.

He tucks his pants a bit further into his boots, then puts his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t want to accidentally injure himself, right before he makes his final stand.

He trusted someone, once.

Several someones.

He trusted Ren before anyone else, and he thinks he still does. Why else would he repeatedly help him out, despite not being allied with him? Why would he give him a life?

“I trust him with my life,” murmurs Martyn. He isn’t sure why. This second game has made it pretty clear that trust shouldn’t be distributed all willy-nilly.

“The Hound is . . . important.”

Martyn almost jumps out of his skin. Sure, he’s been talking to the voices in his head this whole time, but he never really expected them to talk back. Especially not with such reluctance, as if they hadn’t wanted to contribute at all.

“Um—yeah, I guess. Important enough for you to say something. What, is he special like me?” Martyn quips. “The Chosen One?”

No answer.

“Or,” he says, the thought occurring to him, “do you just like Ren? You want him to be happy? You’re who told me to give him the life, to seek him out and all that.”

Again, nothing—but this silence feels different. It feels . . . it feels almost embarrassed, if he had to put a name on it.

Martyn chuckles. “Sure, back to the silent treatment. I’ve got you all figured out. So, what—Ren’s your favorite, but you don’t like the Red King?”

“The Hound should not be changed as such,” the voices say after several long moments. “Especially not by a spirit like that one.”

“So . . . you really do just like him. Really?”

It makes sense, he supposes. Well, maybe Ren does serve some higher narrative purpose, but is he important because the voices like him, or do they like him because he’s important?

“What about me?” he asks. “Am I important because you like me, or vice versa?”

The response is immediate. A scoff, a scoff that’s almost a laugh. “We do not like you.”

“Geez, that’s a real vote of confidence,” Martyn grumbles. “Thanks, I guess. I’m just important.”

“You listen.”

“Well, sorry you had to get stuck with your least favorite character.”

“You are not our least favorite.”

Martyn actually laughs out loud at that. “Oh, man. I feel sorry for whoever is the least favorite, if this is how you treat me.”

This time, the silence isn’t embarrassed. It feels almost . . . impatient. Condemning.

“They aren’t going to just kill each other, are they?” Martyn whispers, twisting his hands into the fabric of his pockets.

The silence waits for him.

“Nice chat,” Martyn says, swinging his backpack off his shoulders to rummage through it. “Haven’t had one of those with you in weeks. Shall I get to it, then?”

If the last feeling he got from the voices was like a sausage rolling on a grill, this feeling is like turning a cup of pudding upside-down, shaking it and squeezing it as you wait for it to plop out.

Anticipation.

He finds it—a golden apple.

The buckets of lava are already set out behind him.

He hadn’t wanted it to come to this. He’s the only Yellow, though, and he knows the Reds won’t rest until they find him.

He doesn’t want to die in a corner. He doesn’t want to be found alone, sniveling and hiding.

Martyn stands, checks that all of his weapons are within easy access. Then he kicks over the buckets, standing back to avoid getting singed by the lava cascading down the side of Scar’s house.

“Come and get me,” he mutters, tossing the golden apple into the air and catching it. His thumb brushes over the stem. “I’m here. I’m waiting. Come and get me.”

A pause, then—

“They are coming.”

[bunthebreadboy]

OMG!!! A FELLOW AZUTARA SHIPPER!!

Please please please!!! What are your headcanons for this ship??? Like, how do you think they would meet and feel about each other? What would they feel when they realize they have a crush on the other??? And how do they get together???

And how do they navigate their relationship once they get to confess, considering they are both stubborn and that they would butt heads xD

AAAAAAAA, I wanna know all about it!!!

ok ok azutara headcanons GO:

these are not canon compliant cause we know how they meet and feel about each other and all that in canon lol

- azula isn’t evil by any means! yeah she’s a little bit of an asshole (or maybe a lot), but she was also a kid raised in an abusive household. katara on the other hand is a proud, self-proclaimed lovable asshole.

- they’ve been in the same social circle since they’re both kids of world leaders, but they weren’t fond of each other as kids.

- they forget about each other and meet again years later! when they’re adults, because you will never catch me writing an au where they’re 14. in canon, whatever. but i’m more comfortable writing characters closer to my age! you will also never catch me writing smut btw, it also makes me uncomfy.

- also azula has been in therapy since she became a legal adult and she has a good relationship with zuko because of it.

- so let’s say they meet again when they’re in their undergrad. neither of them recognize each other, both of em think of the other as “the smartass girl from my gen psych class”

- katara’s in bio pre-med but is 100% that girl that has three minors and a certificate in something. probably things like sociology, anthropology, women’s studies, etc.

- azula’s a business major. not by choice. i could definitely see her in something like forensic science or chemistry instead.

- anyways, they have a shared gen ed class and both of em are really into it because they both have mommy issues! which is why when they’re forced to work together on a project they decide they hate each other again.

- they realize that they knew each other in childhood when zuko and sokka walk into the water siblings’ shared apartment while katara and azula are fighting over making a powerpoint.

- katara makes an offhand comment about ozai being an asshole and azula just. loses it. bursts out crying. and katara’s there panicking like “oh my god what do i DO”

- katara ends up comforting azula and opens up about her mom to try and make azula feel less alone in the family trauma department. azula thinks she’s a dumbass but in a tsundere way where she secretly respects katara but won’t admit it.

- after that the two of em start hanging out out of class more often and (shocking, i know) enjoying each other’s presence

- katara realizes she has a crush first. it happens when they go to present their project and katara freezes up out of nowhere (which is so out of character for her) and azula immediately picks up her sentence and helps katara get through her part of the presentation

- so disaster bi katara ends up pining for at least a year because azula’s a dumbass who is subzero in flirting skills and completely oblivious

- azula’s also completely unaware that she’s gay as hell

- so azula realizes that she likes women…no not women…katara…at some sort of banquet where azula’s receiving a scholarship or smth and katara starts cheering for her from the audience (azula was tense, katara lightened the mood)

- so azula’s on stage having her gay awakening like “oh my god i’m in love with this dumbass who’s making a scene at this formal event and oh my god…” and as soon as she gets off stage she grabs katara’s hand and pulls her outside

- katara’s panicking and thinking azula’s pissed and goes to apologize but azula just. kisses her.

- katara’s immediate reaction is “fckin took you long enough”

- azula immediately goes red and is like “kat i realized i was gay less than five minutes ago please let me live”

- and therefore is subject to teasing for the rest of her life. the end.

[detentiontrack]

HEY. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR AMPHIBIA BAND AU!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY!!!!!!!!

(TW for VERY brief mentions of suicidal ideation, trauma, and eating disorders) (nothing graphic or triggering. Just mentions of those)

So it takes place when the trio is around 21. I aged them down slightly because I want this to take place when they’re still in college, not when they have careers in their field. (This takes place a few weeks before summer so they’re still in school, but it’s ending soon) (I KNOW WE DONT KNOW WHEN EXACTLY ANNE’S BIRTHDAYS IS BUT I’M THE WRITER AND I SAY ITS SOMETIME IN MAY)

(Also because Marcy’s 21st birthday is a huge plot point. There miiiiight be a drunken love confession scene)

Anne is still studying to be a herpetologist, Sasha is still a psychology major, and Marcy is in college because her parents pressured her to go to college, but she HATES it and is actively burning out.

The trio gets together (Marcy flies in from across the country) for Anne’s birthday, just like in the finale, but this time Marcy is staying with her grandma for a few weeks so they have an opportunity to hang out more

They quickly realize that since it’s been 8 years since amphibia and they’ve all been doing their own thing, they don’t have a lot in common with each other anymore, other than this huge trauma that they experienced together.

(Marcy and Sasha have processed it more but still struggle, but Anne is COMPLETELY repressing her feelings and her grief and is headed towards a mental breakdown)

Until one day, they’re sitting in silence in Anne’s room awkwardly because they ran out of things to talk about, when Anne pulls out her guitar and starts to play a tune

They end up singing “no big deal” just for old times sake, and they’re surprised to find out they’re still really good together

The next few days, they start writing more songs as a silly pastime, and then Sasha posts one of their original songs on YouTube & TikTok

The video EXPLODES. They get thousands of likes and comments. At this point they’re still just having fun and don’t take it super seriously.

Their video continued to blow up and 3 days before Marcy has to get back on a plane and go home, they get a message from someone holding a huge event. He says that the event’s band dropped out at the last minute, and was wondering if they could perform a few songs at the event tomorrow night.

They’re SUPER hesitant because they don’t think they’re ready, but they agree that it’s one of Marcy’s last days in LA, so they may as well have fun with it. They agree.

They do the event, perform a few covers and a couple original songs, and the audience LOVES it.

After the show, a man comes up to them. He is an important person in a record label company (I forgor the official title so bear with me. I’ll do more research before writing. This is all a rough idea) and says that he loves them and wants them to audition for a spot in their company the next day. They initially decline because they’re all in school and Marcy doesn’t even live there anymore, but he gives them his business card.

Marcy leaves the next morning, so they decide to have a sleepover one last time for old times sake (they’re very nostalgic) (they’re all secretly in love with each other). They have a deep conversation, and Marcy eventually BREAKS DOWN and sobs that she is so tired and burnt out from college, and she feels directionless and aimless in life. She confesses that sometimes she doesn’t even want to be alive. She just wants a purpose.

Anne and Sasha comfort her. Sasha (using her psychology knowledge) suggests that maybe she extends her trip to LA and they go to the record company the next day just to see what will happen. She says maybe it’ll give her some purpose. (At this point they know their chances of making it are super slim, so they’re expecting to audition and then be told they weren’t selected)

They go to the audition, absolutely rock it, and get a spot in the record company and sign a contract

Marcy moves in with Anne and her parents (but it’s just temporary, right?) & finishes the rest of her semester online

They start planning an album and having a lot of fun, just like when they were kids, but this time there’s no toxicity or control issues (just a LOT of tension) (and when I say tension I don’t mean sexually. This will be a SFW fic because I believe writing smut of them, even if you age them up, is gross and creepy. The most it’ll get is maybe a drunken make out scene, but that won’t be explicit)

They release a single that is a HIT and they start doing small shows

They release an album and again, it’s a smash hit. They’re nominated for a lot of awards, and they start doing a music tour.

They’re together 24/7 on the tour. They become kind of actually famous, there’s fan accounts on twitter, they’re doing interviews, everyone loves them. But since they’re getting so close, their romantic feelings for each other start getting stronger and harder to ignore. There’s constant tension (in one scene, Sasha does everyone’s make up for a concert, and there’s SO MUCH yearning and gay panic)

At this point, any of the love songs they sing either don’t use gendered pronouns, or have he/him pronouns.

BUT THEN. Rumors start breaking out that they’re dating. It starts with people thinking Sasha and Anne are dating (which breaks Marcy’s heart) but then the fandom starts getting into classic ship wars over who’s dating who.

Sasha is out as bi to her friends, but not to the public. Anne is a lesbian but is repressing that information because of internalized homophobia. Marcy is also a lesbian, but has never dated anyone ever (she says it’s because she’s really focused on her studies, but it’s really because she can’t find anyone to replicate the feelings she felt when she was best friends with Anne and Sasha.)

These rumors make them all really on edge for different reasons, and it almost completely tears apart their band and their friendship.

I can’t say much more without giving the ENTIRE thing away (I probably already said too much but I’m really excited) but sashannarcy end game (after a LOT of angst, fighting, trauma processing, self discovery, long conversations about the past, and all of them facing their individual demons)

MISC. HEADCANONS

Marcy is disabled, has chronic pain and mobility issues, and uses a cane. She is also autistic and has ADHD and depression and an anxiety disorder. (and PTSD)

(They all have PTSD but it presents in different ways)

Sasha has BPD

Anne has ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder

Sasha also has chronic pain and weakness due to her injuries in amphibia

Sasha is also in recovery from an eating disorder (she’s doing fine in the beginning, but fame and all the public attention causes her to have issues with it again)

Their band plays mostly pop music with occasional slow love ballads (which are obviously about each other but they say it’s about other people)

Marcy has occasional stage fright, gets overstimulated at events, and nervous in interviews. So Sasha and Anne do most of the talking in interviews

When they tour, they all sleep in the same hotel room (they say it’s to save money but they’re not even the ones paying for it) (they all still have nightmares from amphibia and comfort each other) (there miiiiiight be an “oh no! There’s only ONE bed” scenario because I love fanfic tropes)

Marcy and Sasha are medicated for mental health reasons.

Anne is not

Marcy and Sasha have been to therapy

Anne has not

(You know where this is going. I’m giving Anne the mental breakdown she should have had in the show)

Frogvasion HAS happened in this AU, however I’m running with the implications in the Marcy journal and saying that most people think it was just a hoax/movie stunt gone wrong (this actually comes back later. There’s all kinds of crazy conspiracy theories about them online after they rise to fame)

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Things My Dad Says That Modern AU No War Jake Sully Would Also Say:

Jake Sully is canonically a skxawng. But he’s also a little bit smooth with it, and I think he’d do it a little bit on purpose to make Neytiri and also the kids laugh.

-Neytiri and Tuk (also Spider) are the ones who will always laugh at his insane jokes. Neytiri especially. Like she always laughs. They’ve been married for like twenty years now and she’s still laughing like what he said was a surprise. Kiri and Lo’ak are NOT LAUGHING it’s NOT FUNNY shut the fuck up, Dad, oh my god. 

-Jake when Neytiri comes home from work: Neytiri, come here, let’s kiss in front of the kids and make them uncomfortable. 

-Every time they stop to get gas on a road trip and they go into the rest stop to pee while Neytiri fills the car, Jake says “Guys, don’t worry, this definitely won’t be the time she decides she can do better and just gets in the car and finally leaves us here.”

-Jake, every time Neytiri is sick: Make sure you pick the right last words for your mother in case she doesn’t wake up.

Lo’ak, always refuses to laugh at Jake’s shit: Oh really, what are your last words?

Jake, in the middle of making Neytiri tea for her sore throat: Goodbye, asshole.

Neytiri: *laughing so hard it turns into coughs*

-Every time Jake buys groceries like the good retired-veteran-stay-at-home-husband he is, he sends Neytiri a picture of the flowers and says he didn’t buy them because he knows she’d rather spend the money on the kids, and it’s their shared money anyway. He’s joking and it’s supposed to make her laugh, but she knows he’s also serious. They have five kids including latchkey child Spider, and do have to pay attention to every penny. On her birthday and on Valentine’s Day, he actually buys the flowers and presents them to her and says he scrounged the money up from behind Lo’ak’s bed. (Lo’ak: HEY!) It makes her laugh every time. It’s their cute little thing, it means he’s thinking of her every time he goes to the store even if he doesn’t spend the money every time. (Lo’ak: those are my flowers then.)

-Jake, pointing at the screen every time they watch any movie: That’s actually how me and your mother met. 

It was most egregious when they were watching Titanic. 

Lo’ak, confrontational: Oh really? You’re dead dad? And mom is like 90 years old?

Jake: Oh my god, Lo’ak, you never comment on a woman's age.

Neytiri: *hysterical laughter from the kitchen*

-Sometimes Lo’ak will forget something he needs for school and sprint back into the house to go back for it, and every time Jake and Neytiri are sitting at the kitchen table finishing their breakfast watching him and Jake goes “How can we miss you if you just won’t leave?” Neteyam copies Jake a lot and he says that shit all the time when Lo’ak, Kiri, or Spider forget something, they hate it (secretly love it).

-Kiri, complaining about what a kid did at school: -and then she told the teacher I didn’t do any of the work. Isn’t that crazy?

Jake, nodding sagely: Mhm. Do you want me to go fight her?

Neytiri: *surprised laughter*

Kiri, trying not to laugh: *deep sigh* You can’t fight a teenage girl, Dad.

Jake, pretend hurt: You think I can’t beat a teenage girl?

-Neytiri works at the hospital with Ronal. Ronal is a doctor and Neytiri is a nurse. Jake likes to put on episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and then tell Neytiri they could’ve used a better nurse during almost every scene. 

-When the Sully’s and Tonowari’s family have their first big family dinner after Lo’ak and Tsireya start dating, Jake comes down the stairs in his underwear and his stained marines t-shirt and says “I’M READY TO GO!’ and Tuk and Neytiri die laughing while Lo’ak has an aneurysm. 

[yunhonumeris1fane]

Try Again•JYH

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"After building your life sonewhere else, you come back home to your family, missing the old days. But one person you tried to avoid, still managed to pop up and say Hi! "

pairing : non_idol yunho x non_idol reader

genre : fluff

warnings : some alcohol?

There you are, walking down the streets you’ve walked over a dozen times. This time is different though, you’re walking alone and it’s the first time in over 5 years.

 Before going abroad to study and work, you used to be happy with a good circle of friends and the best boyfriend. Everything was perfect, until all of you started enrolling in schools, choosing your degrees. You were a really great student at school and wanted to explore the world. Your boyfriend wanted to remain in his home country and study there. This was where the differences between the two of you came out obvious. You started growing distant because of it and broke up on good terms. You moved abroad, and he stayed.

 The first months were hard, you missed your home, your friends and Yunho. The new places and unfamiliar environments did not help, but you were excited about the new chapter ahead.

 In the span of 4 years, you graduated with a degree, and worked for a company. You sometimes would catch on with your friends, mainly Hoongjoong and Wooyoung, but not as often. You liked the country you lived in and your job there, but felt extremely homesick, so without thinking twice you decided to give it a shot and come back home.

 Since you haven't spoken to either HJ or Wooyoung for over a month, you decided not to tell them that you're back. Instead you just continued living, like you always did. You landed on a job that offered good conditions, moved into a small apartment further away from the bustling city center and existed.

 As your now on your break now, you once again find yourself in a coffee shop right across the street from the company you work at. Taking your coffee you sit down at a table and scroll on your phone. While doing so, you keep feeling like someone is staring at you, so you look up to see three guys sitting a few feet apart from you. You don’t have your glasses, so you can’t really see their faces. You don’t know a single reason why they were staring and decide not to pay any more attention, instead continue living in your phone.

"Y/n?!" A familiar voice catches your attention. Your eyes immediately jump off the screen to the person, who is no other than Wooyoung, there’s Yeosang and Hoongjoong by his side.

"Guys!" Your eyes light up as you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand.

"Waaa!" Wooyoung boasts, "It's been ages, you've changed!" He comments on your changed appearance. You used to have light and short hair, glasses always on your nose, dressed up in various colors. But now your hair is dark and long, no glasses and you’re dressed neatly in black.

"Can we sit here, or you're waiting for someone?" Hoongjoong asks, pointing at the remaining three seats at the table.

"No no, sit" You insist and they are quick to occupy the remaining seats.

"So tell us, how have you been? Why are you here?" Hoongjoong asks, excitedly rubbing the palms of his hands. 

"I've been well, but I was really missing home. Y'know, my whole family and friends are here. Really missed that. So I came back, staying here for as long as I can" You show off your proud smile.

"I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with that guy anymore" He mentions your recent ex, who was an interesting person to say the least.

"We broke up last month"

"Good!" Wooyoung raises his thumbs up, he is happy you ditched him, "he was so unworthy of you. Total scum" he adds, his face turning bitter.

"How are the others?" You inquire about the remaining group, curious of how far they’ve come.

"They're good. Seonghwa has bought a house because apparently he is rich now. Jongho is still working at the SNU. Mingi is still traveling. San is good too, still going strong in the academy" Hoongjoong tells you everything important about the guys and then comes to a stop, hesitating about him,  "-and Yunho..  He's good too, he works a lot, he's a busy guy"

"Oh, that's good, everyone's doing fine…" You manage to reply, your mind now circling around the memories of old times. When you were in senior year, hanging out almost everyday. Wooyoung was your neighbor and a close friend. He introduced you to the group that led you to having a big circle of friends and Yunho. You were sweethearts, in a happy and stable relationship, the guys were also very supportive. Everyone thought you'd be together forever, married and living a long life. But life had different plans for the two of you.

"He never dated anyone after you" Wooyoung interrupts your thoughts as Yeosang shoots him a warning look.

"It's okay" You assure him, as talking about Yunho isn’t a crime. Although it saddens you a little, you can’t dwell on the past.

"Did you move on, or still like him?" Wooyoung attacks you again, he’s too nosy.

"Well you know what they say about first love, it's always in the heart. No matter how hard you try to ignore it" You explain with a shrug, as Wooyoung’s listening attentively.

"What would you do if you met him?" Yeosang asks, leaving you confused.

"I'd run, obviously" You reply without hesitation, there is now way you'd want to meet him. Awkward.

"I guess it's a little too late to say it. But Yunho and Seonghwa are going to be here anywhere from 5 minutes to now" He says as your face goes blank, you want to gather your things and run, "-never mind, they're here" Yesoang points at the two men approaching the table.

"I'll kill you" You mouth out to Yeosang and Wooyoung, who only shrug.

"Hi guys, who's here?'' Seonghwa greets the group, "-Ah… Oh… Y/n!" He jumps a little, immediately going in for a hug.

You can’t help, but smile, you missed the guys a lot. However your smile fades when you meet Yunho's eyes, he looks like he just saw a ghost

"H-hi…" You say to him.

"Hi…" Yunho gives you a small wave and is ready to turn around, but Seonghwa stops him

"No one's leaving!" He reminds him, as Wooyoung is quick to gather two additional chairs.

"You're getting prettier and prettier" Seonghwa compliments your appearance.

"You're not looking too bad either" 

"How long are you staying here for?" He inquires, needing to know everything.

"I'm staying for good. Will be here to annoy you forever" You said in a joking matter.

"Really? Well then we will have plenty of time to catch on" Seonghwa snickers, plans for upcoming gatherings already circling around in his mind.

 And so two weeks went by, you met the guys quite a few times, going to bars or hanging out at their places. Yunho didn’t join you, but the upcoming meet up at Seonghwa’s house today, he will be attending. Which scares the crap out of you.

...

'It's gonna be nice Y/n. There's gonna be food, drinks, music and fun :33'

'I dunno, I have lots of things to do'

You never turn down the party'

'I grew up'

'Nonsense. You drowned tons of bottles last week. Alcoholics don't recover in a week'

'I am one special kind'

'Nonsense… is this about Yunho? Cos he be there?'

'Yesn't'

'It's not like only the two of you be here'

'Judging you guys, we will'

'6p.m sharp. Be there. If not. WE WILL COME AND GET YOU!👺'

...

And here you are, sitting at the dining table, surrounded by your friends. Too lazy to cook, you ordered some takeaway. Alongside the meal, you have soju and makgeolli. Everything’s perfect. Almost.

You're not a good drinker, just a couple glasses of drinks make your head feel as heavy as a world’s biggest rock. A few more drinks and you'll be doing unpredictable things.

"Look at you miss tipsy" Wooyoung teases you, as you are smiling at the empty glass, thinking about having more.

"Is there something we should know?" San asks, noticing how much you are drinking.

"Nothing, just tired after a tough week" You mumble, your head buried in your hands, as the gravity keeps pulling you to the ground.

Wooyoung, who is sitting beside you, notices how you were close to leaning onto his shoulder. So he pretends to need to use the bathroom and when he leaves, the human wall between Yunho and you isn’t there anymore. When he comes back, he on purpose changes the seats, sitting down in between you and Seongwa. Now you are dangerously close to Yunho, even the drunken state in you can’t seem to stop the fast heartbeat. You'd be lying if there were no feelings for him left in you..

After a few more shots, you lose the capability of keeping your head straight and your head goes to rest against Yunho's arm. You forgot that Wooyoung was on the opposite side.

Even  the 'aww' stares you keep receiving - you still have no clue . And the fact that he doesn't push you away, doesn’t raise any suspicion in you.

 The sleepy phase doesn’t last long though, when you hear that San and Jongho are going to sing karaoke.

"Me too!" You immediately rise from your seat and run as fast as you can to them. They pick out an old classic boy group song and the three of you eat  the song. Dancing, jumping around and singing at the top of your lungs. When the song comes to an end, there is another. Then another. Then another. By the last song, you are lying in a starfish pose on the floor, microphone attached to your barely moving lips. You are just humming, on the other hand, the guys are still going strong. 

"I'm going to get some water" You inform them, as you get off the floor.

"Good luck Y/n. Good luck!!" San enthusiastically speaks into the microphone and bids your farewell, as you are on your way.

 When in the kitchen, you attempt reaching out for the glass, but you knock it down and it shatters all over the counter. Not being the best thinker, you start picking up the pieces and rest your palm on the counter, resulting in a piece of glass cutting you.

"What happened?" Yunho is the one that heard the noise and came to see what’s up.

"N-nothingg… I-I just broke the glass.. like alwayss.." You mutter in disappointment as you lift your palm and there's blood. You immediately start backing away from the counter, but there's more glass on the ground.

"Careful, careful" Yunho's hand rests on your back as he guides you safely out of the area. When you're at the other side of the kitchen, he sits you down on a chair and gets a solution and bandaid.

"I'm not exactly sober, so if I mess it up, I'm sorry" He admits and pours the solution onto the wound. You immediately hiss at the pain.

"It's okay, won't take long” Yunho shushes you, as he dabs the paper towel onto your skin, to dry off the wound. As he's doing so, you start feeling really sleepy and without much in mind you rest your head on his shoulder.

"I forgot how comfortable it was" You mumble into the crook of his neck, as he lets out a soft laugh.

"You've had enough to drink, you should go sleep"

"I'm fine… No, I'm not, I missed you" you confront yourself, as his body twitches a little. You are drunk, drunk affectionate, he tries not to think of your words as serious.

"I'm serious"

"Yep, you're wasted, go to sleep" He gently moves your head off his shoulder and leads the way to one of the guest rooms. Once you’re there , barely, you manage to find the bed and land on it successfully. Yunho stands at the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, hands crossed over his chest. He has to make sure you won’t mistake the comfort of the bed to the floor. He knows that whenever you get drunk, you sleep on the floor and then complain that you have a backache the following morning.

“C-can you stay?” Your words catch his attention, “at least until I fall asleep”

“I will”

He doesn’t need to stay long, cause you fall into a coma in a matter of seconds. But he stays a little longer, watching you. Not in a creepy way. You are just as beautiful to him as in the past. He felt like he was over you, that he moved on and so did you. But the moment he saw you again, the feelings came back again.

“Is she sleeping? on the bed?” He is hit by the questions about you again, the moment he comes back to the living room.

“Yeah” Yunho nods and sits down.

“I saw the way you looked at her. You still love her, right?” Hoongjoong asks him.

“I don’t know man, maybe?” He wonders

“If that helps, she still likes you”

“I figured, back when I was fixing up her wound, she kept saying I missed you and stuff”

“Isn’t that good?”

“We broke up for a reason. Maybe it was a sign we are not a good match”

"Not a good match my ass" Wooyoung argues with him, "it's not like something bad happened, so you can just… you know, get back together"

"It's not so easy" Yunho scoffs at the man’s incompetence when it comes to relationships.

"Nobody said it was easy" Wooyoung tries to persuade him "If you still like her, she likes you too, get together. I can't stand watching this"

"Then sit down if that helps" He suggests, as Wooyoung pouts his lips, annoyed.

"Very funny"

 The morning catches uo rather fast. You lift your heavy head off the pillow. Your head feels like a rock, not to mention it hurts. You shouldn't have gone overboard with the drinks. Immediately thoughts like "Did I do something questionable yesterday?" flood your mind.

"You're awake" Yeosang pushes the door open, gasping at the sight, "You look like a homeless"

"One more word and you'll be a real homeless" You warn him, aggressively pointing your index finger at him.

"I'm good. Everyone's downstairs" He informs, "How are you feeling, do you remember anything from last night?"

"No?..." you wonder, trying to remember. Then your eyes land on the bandaid on your hand and it hits you. Oh no!

"He's still there by the way. See you later" Yeosang disappears as you grab a handful of your hair, shaking aggressively. You remember everything and he does too for sure, he's a better drinker than you.

 "Here take this" Mingi offers you a hangover cure packet as you take it. Chugging it down, you sense Yunho's presence in the room and avoid looking in his direction.

"How's your hand?" Wooyoung's voice echoes from Yunho's direction

"Good" You don't dare turn your head to see him.

"Is there something on the table?" Mingi asks, in a teasing way, noticing how you're avoiding Yunho.

 "No nothing" You hum and pull out your phone to look at the weather app, pretending to be busy.

"Okay, we'll be going, gotta hit the gym" Yeosang, Mingi and San inform you, "See you later" They pat your head as they pass by and leave.

 Now there are 6 of you, but only three in the dining room. Jongho, Hoongjoong, Seonghwa are somewhere upstairs 

"Bathroom break" Wooyoung announces and sprints out of the room. You panic, eyeing your bag on the sofa in the other room.

"Can we talk?" Yunho interrupts your inner thoughts, as you shake your head.

"I've gotta go" You quickly pace towards the sofa to take your bag. But he catches up with you and blocks your way. 

"We need to talk Y/n" Yunho says, this time it's more demanding.

"I don't want to talk" You try to push his hand away, as it's locked around your wrist.

"You're not leaving until we talk" 

"Fine. What do you want?" You snarl at him. You want to run away and he’s keeping you hostage.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He hits you with a simple question, but you have a trouble explaining the reason to him.

"I'm not" You shrug your shoulders.

"Sorry, but you are" He confronts you, now you’re trapped in the corner, with no way out.

"Fine. Why do you care" 

"I just care" He doesn’t explain either,  "do you remember anything from yesterday?" is all he asks.

"Yes"

"Did you mean it? What you said" Yunho wants to know whether you were just talking total nonsense, or you were actually telling the truth.

"If yes, what?" You look down at his hand, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist. He immediately releases you.

"I did too" His words stop your heart for a moment.

"Did what?"

"Missed you Y/n" His hand creeps up to your chin,  tilting your head up, so your eyes could comfortably lay on his, "Missed every second spent with you"

"Are you confessing to me right now" You’re in pure shock.

"I'm confessing my love for you again" He chuckles, remembering the first time when he said the three words. It was a spring day, you and the guys were supposed to have dinner at a restaurant, but it turned out that only you and Yunho were there. The guys tricked you, they wanted to give him a kick, so he would finally confess.

"I remember you being very nervous. You were so stressed, that you started cutting the steak with a fork" You let out a laugh, the memories of your first date never left your mind..

"You weren't an angel either. You couldn't even hold eye contact" Yunho reminds, "not to mention that you even spilled a glass of water on yourself and I had to get you shirt from my car"

"Mistakes can and do happen" You explain him, your cheeks burning from the embarrassing memory.

"What if we tried again? I know you're not planning on leaving long term. We already know our differences, we could work it out" He speaks to you, softly, fingers tracing the side of your face, that he longed for years.

"Do you think we could work it out?” 

“Don’t you want to try?” Yunho questions you, now unsure if his descision to confess was a good idea.

“I wan’t to, but I don’t want to go through all of it again” you admit, a he lets out a sigh of relief, happy that you feel the same

“It’s a little less likely now, now that we’re older, more mature” Yunho states, thinking he's got a point.

“You’re saying you’re mature. That’s a sight no one will ever see”

“Here you go, running your smart mouth again” He scoffs, pointing at you.

“And you can do nothing about it” You smile, hands resting on your waist.

Turns out he can. The moment you attempt to share more sarcastic remarks, he seals your mouth with a kiss. You immediately go into a silent mode, shocked. You didn’t think he’d actually do it. But you don’t complain, you ease into his touch, his hands, that are gliding up and down your body. The kiss and everything about this moment is so warm, it feels like home. There is no other person, none other than Yunho, that could make you feel the way you feel right now. Safe and loved.

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[philsmeatylegss]

please yap about dip and pip's relationship with pj, I want to know more

FUCKING YESS!!! WHOO HOO!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY!!!

Okay so I haven’t brushed up on my PJ lore in a while, so correct me if any of this is wrong, but I’m sticking with the basics.

What gets me about their friendship is that they’ve been through it all together. Once again, correct me if I’m wrong, but him and Phil were friends before Dan started making videos, correct? It could’ve been after. Point is, he was there pre youtube era, bat shit insane era, and out era. And there’s proof they’ve stayed close through it all. I cannot imagine the pressure of maintaining a normal friendship under the circumstances they were under. I will fully admit myself I am one curious mf first thing I would ask is if they were together. And to have a bunch of 13 year olds yelling at you to do so, I can’t imagine just seeing all of that and then casually heading out to see a movie or get dinner.

I have a head cannon which I feel like I have enough reason to treat it like cannon and that’s that dnp only were close to YouTubers who didn’t care about their sexuality/relationship. You had to be there, but the 2014 british youtuber boom, dnp were making collabs with people who just were so different and it showed. And I don’t think people will understand if they weren’t there how big of a thing “phan” was. They were described usually something along the lines of “those friends with the matching hair that fans think are together.” So when you mix personalities that, to no one’s fault, just don’t blend, mix it with the pressure of five million thirteen year olds, and mix it with people who one has a lot wrong with them, that’s a really bad mixture to set up a friendship. I believe other than Louise and PJ, who dnp knew before hand (pretty sure louise, might have been at the start of their career), tyler oakley and Anthony seem to be the only creators they seemed comfortable around. I forgot why I started talking about this. Oh, the conditions in which friendship had to stand under.

I truly don’t know how to explain how insane the phandom used to be. And how widespread. As someone approaching the age they were when they started to blow up, I am amazed they didn’t leave the internet.

This whole long rant is to say that it was overwhelming to even be in the vicinity of dnp. The amount of pressure is something I truly cannot describe. And it’s hard to explain if you weren’t there, but I cannot imagine an outsider maintaining a relationship with the two of them with the pressures both within the relegation ship and outside. Because let’s also not forget Dan’s mental health and trauma was triggered every time a “phan is real” comment happened. It was truly such a chaotic time and I think the reason they didn’t have a lot of friends was because they couldn’t.

So it’s just that it must have been so fucking hard. And they must have a very close bond to have survived what their friendship endured. It was such a unique scenario to be pulled into and deciding to come along for the ride is something I find so admirable.

I also think PJ has been a part of their journey with sexuality and how public they were about being together. From what we know, Phil and PJ filmed together back when it was just millennials. To as recent as filming April Fool’s. That experience of watching that dynamic rise and fall and having to just follow and work with must’ve been crazy

If you look at a lot of the credits in dnp’s more professional videos, PJ is often in the credit and often has a big role. Really, it’s mostly the same people who dip and pip work with which gets me the most. It’s obvious they feel comfortable and genuine around him. We’ve seen behind the scenes how they discuss ideas. It’s just very relaxed, which is something dip and pip were deprived of as soon as they started blowing up. Everything had to be planned and thought through. And I think having an old friend who they were likely open to about their relationship and sexuality probably kept them sane. I do believe they are a lot closer than they put forward online and good for them. I think that’s why they’ve stayed friends for so long.

A lot of this is pure speculation. But it must be so cool to have watched your close friend go through the journey pip did, all the while being with someone he loved. But also helping them through it and helping them express themselves within their own boundaries.

That’s what I was yapping about at the start. I think the few YouTubers dip and pip remained close to Anthony, Louise, and Tyler, is because they seemed to like dan and phil because they liked dan and phil. There was no ulterior motive and they genuinely didn’t give a shit their relationship or what fans said. If I were dnp, I would have become very guarded with my emotions. But, at least from what we’ve seen, they seem very comfortable with Pj and his gf I forget her name but she’s so pretty.

When I think of friendship I think of what Peej has with dip and pip. There was so much obvious discomfort for so many years and being able to adapt to that is something special. Balancing public versus private. And just having such long history together. Once again, I’m not up to date on my lore, but I’m pretty sure Phil and Pj knew each other before Phil knew Dan. Or at least it was very close. Like they have been friends from the start. Pj was there for every stage. Every stage. And having a friend who remained neutral during it all probably really helped dip and pip not go nuts.

I truly cannot put into words how out of control the phandom was. Like I don’t even know how to phrase it. It was such a unique phenomena that I have never seen anything even close since. So it’s hard to really get across what it meant sticking with dip and pip during the height of their career, but it must have been so fucking hard on all sides.

And to just see after that chaos that they are still close, that they still film together, that they just hang out,,, I just find that very neat. And admirable. And I’m so curious to know more about it.

I’m not rereading any of this so enjoy the typos